The Distant Touch Of Love

Internally, I have always shed few drops of happy tears watching Bollywood movies like ‘Hum Saath Saath Hain’ or watching the Bollywood drama of children being woken up by their mothers with so much affection and then being fed breakfast. Growing up in a conventional Punjabi household, I always saw my family to be perfectly aligned to these typical Bollywood movie families and that truly made me very happy. But, the plight of my life was my unconventional mother and her upbringing. My younger sister and I have yearned for our mother to wake us up with affection and softness, at least on Sunday mornings, but we always woke up with our mother switching off the fan and asking us to help her out in the kitchen. On days, when she did decide to become a mother, we always shied away from showing any kind of physical affection to her. With an environment of more logics than emotions, more life skills than soft skills, how do you think children of such a mother would have turned out to be? 

There she was simply sitting with her beaming smile and deep beautiful eyes, and as my squinted gaze spotted her, I forgot all about the argument with her the previous night and a small smile broke my solemn face. In that moment itself, I felt warm and nurtured. Such was her love. Her presence is full of hygge for my sister and me, it always has been. I wonder how she did it all, how she managed to create an environment with rules and regulations and yet an environment that is so embracive of open communication, sharing different ideals and values and so much of genuine love. A love that is so deeply rooted amongst both of us, that even the thought of not having her in our life makes our heart ache. We were taught to lead a life that is always entrenched with values and beliefs, but we grew up choosing those values and beliefs by ourselves, nothing was ever forced upon us.

Her description of this brave and brilliant woman might get you to assume that this flawed woman never botched it up with her children’s upbringing ever. Untrue. The stereotypical notion of mothers being super women and infallible is so deeply ingrained in all our minds that it doesn’t allow any room for them to commit mistakes, thus at times hindering their growth as well. It is so dismaying to see families being so relentless when it comes to mothers. I believe it to be the most ungrateful and ruthless act in any household. The same realisation struck me very late in my teenage years and now that it has, it has allowed me to understand that before a mother, she is also a human. This truly has changed the course of our relationship. My younger sister and I have felt more seen and heard at home with her more than in our own society. We sit together sharing our life lessons and experiences with her sense of superiority never making us feel any less. She sits hearing our advises on various issues just as we sit and do the same. Such is the bond of women coming from different generations, when they come together to live, learn and love.

My mother has made me realise the power of emotional connection. We woke up without her hugs, but we live with her love every single second. I measure the strength of love with its ability of people feeling loved even at a distance. I take pride in feeling loved by my mother, feeling her warmth and care every second of my life despite sitting in a different city. Such is love and such is my mother. I’d like to call my mother’s love- the ‘Distant Touch of Love’, for she has taught me that love lies in drinking tea together more than in hugs and kisses, she has taught me that love lies more in cooking for your loved one than buying gifts, she has taught me that love in its simplest and purest form lies in forgiving and moving on. She has taught that love should reside in everything you do and so this story is me expressing my love towards a woman who has been more than just a mother to us, a best friend, a mentor, a life line.

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