Manik Goswami

Drama Tragedy Classics

3  

Manik Goswami

Drama Tragedy Classics

Repentance

Repentance

5 mins
247



The day you left for heavenly abode, in response to the call of the afterlife ruler, a  thunderbolt, apparently coming out of a clear sky, made a strike on me. It started raining suddenly as if it was the outburst of my inherent grief. I was shellshocked, however, the expressions on the faces of our son and his wife showed that they were partly relieved of the pressure of looking after their age-old parents. Neither of them could shed tears that day. I was really stunned on seeing their happiness, expressions, and gestures. Even though I felt that you were not there, I was broken inside, and I could not express my pain through crying. So, may be the nature cried to say goodbye to you by washing away all our dirt in the rain. Today the wheelchair is my mobile companion. The lower part of the body is no longer tolerating. So, I came to this old age home with this new partner to provide me comfort while moving. I have come here to take refuge in the battle of the mentality of survival, which is an additional burden on my son's family. Undoubtedly, this is a very good place for people like us who are lame, decrepit, and good for nothing. There are excellent arrangements and facilities provided for the old people as per the rules of the day but yes, it is good that there is a very good medical system here. If someone falls ill, they will get first aid and the treatment can be initiated here itself. If you could come and see how happy I am on leaving your home and peacefully staying here at this old age home, you could also live in your heaven peacefully forever. I did suffer with great inherent pain on losing you. How many years have I had a partner?

I brought you home against the wishes of everyone in my house. No one could accept you easily. I was not inclined to let my love be lost from life. The one I love more than my soul, the one who has been in my heart all through the days, I can't take her away from my life only because I didn't get the room at my father’s home to stay for. We were not allowed to enter the house because I could not give up my love. My parents kicked us out of the house, abandoned us and did not allow you to set your foot in his house. There was a big change in my life when I went out with you for our aimless journey. I learned to bear the pressure to keep us happy which could be maintained only through being supportive to one another. Our next journey was filled with a lot of happiness and joy. Our child, your darling son, came to this Earth only after our combined consent during our happy days. What a service did you provide with your unaccustomed hands only to furnish comfort to our little gem. You took care of him to bring him up through his memorable childhood. You took all the responsibilities of taking him to school, took care of his regular homework and studies, taught him to build up his character to become sober, gentle, calm, and cool. I used to go to the office in the morning and come back in the evening. In the late evening I could get some free time, but never took the responsibility of teaching my son as I believed you would surely be able to make our son a perfect man by his nature, knowledge, and sense. You did it from your heart, I knew, and took the responsibility of making the boy a human being although you had to pull the grindstone of the world all day long. Someday, something is bound to happen in the world that one cannot imagine or understand at the back of his mind. As soon as the boy started working after finishing school and college courses, he got married to his beloved darling in the same way as his father did and brought her home. But you did not have the desire to take the revenge for the injustice done to you. Knowingly, you forgot the treatment you received on your first step to our house as a newly married bride. Instead, you welcomed your daughter-in-law and allowed her to stay with you not only as your daughter but also as a friend of yours. You could not imagine that my love and respect to you multiplied manyfold since that day. I had been in trouble ever since my seniors started disrespecting you.


Again after a few days of marriage of our son, those days reappeared. All your good work began to lose its fervor. Your son and his wife started disrespecting you at every moment, started abusing even. I could very well feel the pain you had to bear when you own beloved son started blaming you in support of his wife. Today, I feel ashamed that neither I could appease your pain, nor could I tell anything to my son in support of you. I started to end me up from inside. At your old age, you might not have been able to bear the brunt of that disrespect. You were so hurt in your heart that could not survive any more. You started to having left with a severe pain in your chest. Your beloved son could not take you to a hospital for immediate treatment. On arranging everything including ambulance when I was able to take you to a nearest hospital, it was all over. You left me forever on the way to the hospital. I survived only to look after the world that you had built with your emotions and care. You had always thought of me. There was nothing wrong with you in trying to keep me well, but I was deeply engrossed within myself. I never had time to look back at you. In my lonely life today, you are the only one in all my perceptions. I cannot think anything more than you, cannot see anything new than you. Maybe someday, I won't be here on this earth any longer, however, I just must leave this world with a great regret that I could not evaluate you properly. I could not understand your feelings, your inherent pain. Forgive me for my disability to do anything good on your own.


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