Living dead in heart

At the juncture of the age when the spring blossoms in the garden of mind, your company gave me a lot of strength to stand up against the ridicule of society. Gauri, the first day I talked to you, that moment is still deeply ingrained in my mind. That day of Saraswathi Puja has been bright in my mind forever. You suddenly fell while distributing puja prasad to other students at school. No one came forward for any help but laughed and mocked at you. Even, they also started making various ill comments that were difficult to tolerate for me. I walked towards you and for that, of course, I also had to listen to some bad comments.

When I could not lift you by holding your hand then without paying attention to ill words, I hold you with both of my hands and took you to the doctor. You had to stay in bed for a few days. The leg was severely injured. It was God's grace that your leg did not fracture. While you were sick, I went to your house every day to look after you. I even shared the school class notes with you to keep you updated with the studies. These few days helped us to become close friends. Yes, after you fully recovered, we came closer to our mind also. I started liking you as you started liking me. We started to sit together side by side on the park- bench and begun talking a lot. Today, I wonder where from could we get so many words and topics to talk for. Can we imagine how much time had we spent talking? How many dreams had we created on looking at the stars in the sky? How many bubbles of hope were bursting in our mind? Did we start living in a dream state?

Suddenly a whirlwind arose in our lives. The sail of the boat that was hurrying forward was torn by the storm. The boat capsized in the end. We somehow managed to save ourselves by swimming, but the two of us got on other sides of the river. In that sudden storm we became separated from each other. In fact, the day your father found out that the two of us had reached out to each other a lot, he could not accept the matter. He kept you under house arrest, came to our house and told my father everything and threatened me in one sentence, telling me not to look up at his daughter anymore, do not even try to get close. Otherwise, he would ruin our world. Would not let any of our family members out on the streets anymore. Threatened to teach us a lesson if we were seen on the road. My father asked me what I wanted, whether to live in the days of colorful dreams of one's youth time or the well-being of the family to which we belong. I was speechless and stood still in the end. I was in a dilemma.

Neither I could put my family members in danger nor could simply forget Gauri. What a cruel decision I had to take. Finally, I accepted this cruel, ruthless behavior of Gauri’s father against me as a curse of God. I could not justify the feelings of Gauri. Gauri came to know about my retreat. Although Gauri could not control herself, she failed in protesting her father's trial. Gauri gave in to her father's stubbornness. Her father had long ago promised to marry Gauri to the son of one of his office colleagues. He would never let that word move. So, he would not obey this unjustified whim of Gauri. I was drowned in a sea of misery. Gauri mocked my incompetence and went to another house one day. I stayed behind in the corner of the room, reminiscing about the sweet memories of the past, harboring feelings of well-being, and cursing my own cowardice, the pain of failure. I survived being a dead in heart.