The Second Chance - Part I: Week 9/52

While life seemed alright it wasn’t really. It was the reverse actually. But it wasn’t something Liam was incapable of dealing with. 

 

Some stories don’t have a proper ending. Mine does not have a beginning... 

 Maybe you will be able to help me...

 Maybe you will be able to help yourself too!

 

The Australian skyline was abuzz with a multitude of subtle hues that reminded Jess of the artforms of a Siberian artist, Katrin Vates, whose work she had recently grown fond of. The car was pacing at a speed of 95 kmph and there was a mystic smile on Jess’s face. The embroidered forest landscapes which opened up the possibility of adding a dimension of depth to the bushy trees intrigued her and she felt, “Humans are like that too… aren’t they? Getting down from the car and walking her steps up the high-rise building that housed her office, she felt a sense of joy she hadn’t experienced in years. She was to begin her first day as lead architect for the prestigious architectural firm, Little Simulations.

 

They say pain is a very important indicator. If you have some unexplained pain in some part of your body, and if that surfaces and resurfaces at a particular stimulus, it means you have suppressed it for too long. Jess was holding on to her ugly, dreadful memories of Liam for so long, at times she would experience inexplicable muscular distress in her sleep. Sometimes, even when she was awake. There were times she would question herself if it was because it was real, or, because it was shitty. She had no answers whatsoever.

 

Back in school days, Jess had once participated in a poetry writing competition. The first one for her. And, to her surprise, she won a prize. Who knew life would take a turn as it had and she would have to leave her family to be able to work? That wasn’t something she was comfortable with. But her obsession with her work left her with no choice. Sometimes she would feel she would be her own doom.

One day after college, when Jess was 19 and Liam, 21, they decided to meet at his place as there would be no one at home at the time. His parents would be away for work and, the two would be able to satisfy their curiosities about each other. When Liam kissed Jess, it was the best first kiss ever! Jess knew then that they were meant to be for a lifetime. After the special moment had passed, Liam asked her, “What is it that you like about me. Why do you love me so much? Why are you here? How can you trust me despite the fact that we have barely been together for one year? You don’t even know if I’ll come back for you… How can you trust me?”

Liam had joined Jess’s college when she was in class XI. His father had been transferred to the city and so he had no option but to move in with the family. He was in class XII and they happened to meet at his farewell and were very attracted to each other. After he passed, he decided to take up engineering and complete the first two years of his engineering in the same city. His father, a banker for NABARD was posted for three years in the city by which time Liam would choose to shift to another college for his last two years depending on where his father would be posted next.

Jess hated Liam for his unwarranted logical question in that beautiful moment. But she chose to answer… She said, “I trust you because I know we are meant to be. No matter what you do or where you go, we are destined. I can feel it. I can feel it, because, ... when you hold me, I never want you to go away. And I haven’t felt anything so pure and pristine in my life. Somehow, I feel, this is the most precious moment of my life... Wait, no... it's the beginning of the so many precious moments that are to come in our life... You may not feel it yet...But, it’s okay... I hope you do someday...”, and a tear rolled down her cheeks.

Liam looked at Jess completely incapable of understanding what she was saying, but he could not let her cry. Even if it was out of happiness. He immediately leaned over, and, kissed that droplet of tear, and then, hugged her, comforting her out of her agony. Needless to say, she held him tight hoping that she would die in his arms at the time. She couldn’t tell him how painful it was going to be away from him and yet, she couldn’t even stop him from pursuing his dreams. In that moment she felt death would be her best friend. She wanted to embrace it because that way at least she wouldn’t have to go through the hell of not being able to be with Liam.

And then, Liam woke up from his dream, realizing Jess wasn’t there. She had long gone away. And, she was never going to return. 

 

Jess had lost her parents very young and was raised by her uncle who wanted Jess to succeed but never more than his own children. She had grown in a self-sabotaging kind of atmosphere and that had shaped her beliefs about self. Eventually, she had come to realize that it isn’t always possible to live in the shadows. And, it’s okay. Jess was frustrated being with her relatives. She valued them, but she wanted to build and grow and see life through her own lens and her household provided very little scope for it. So, she decided to break through and move to Australia for her postgraduate studies.

 

To be continued...