Life In Lacchammapeta

Have you any experience of growing up in a big joint family? If the answer is a “No”, here is a glimpse of what it could be. It is filled with a lot of, fun, frolic, emotions, affection, love, envy all in good proportions to make an interesting real-life drama. Well, I had the good fortune of growing up in a joint family from both parents’ sides. Life was a lot of fun but at the same time, it taught a lot of lessons.

The family from my father’s side lived in the cosmopolitan city of Hyderabad all the brothers having white collared Jobs. My father was 5th among five brothers and five sisters. By the time we were aware of happenings around us, all the sisters were married. That left 5 brothers and their spouses and close to 16 children and my grandmother, together with living in a big rented house. The interesting and noteworthy aspect of these big joint families is that a strong Matriarch controls the show and runs the family. My grandmother was that figure. I owe my convent education to my mother. She was passionate that her children get a good education. She put her foot down and got me admitted to missionaries run school against all odds. She could negotiate this with other elders on the condition that the fees will be paid by my parents from their personal funds. It was quite expensive and difficult to provide that standard of education to the big platoon of children. Dad’s second brother had 8 children! The lesson learnt was that you need to know when to rebel and when to go with the flow!

My Mother’s side of the family, in contrast, was in a completely rural setting. They lived in a small village called Lacchammapeta, close to Visakhapatnam city, for many generations and owned a substantial extent of agricultural land and business. The ancestral house was a spacious and typical village house. I have chosen my maternal side of the family for the present story and the matriarch and central character is the eldest sister of my grandfather. She was the eldest of four brothers and three sisters and was respected and showered affection by her brothers, and perhaps that was the reason why she was respected and also feared by the rest of the family. She lost her husband early in life and came back to her parents’ home with 3 small children, two daughters and a son. Her mother was a widow herself and unwell, so the widowed daughter took the responsibility of her mother and of running the kitchen. Her brother's spouses were too young to take up the responsibility. Nothing changed as far as the respect for her in the family was concerned. 

 In a village, the family includes a good number of servants who attend to countless farm related works. In fact, the affection and respect for her in the family and the servants only increased as time passed by. She would know the favourite dishes of not only her brothers, but also their children and their Sons-in-law! She was an amazing cook and there were only words of appreciation for her culinary skills. 

It is amazing how the Joint family system could take into its fold her and her three children, provide them with security and care. They were always treated at par with the rest of the children, educated and girls were married off into descent families.

We used to go to our grandfather’s village during summer vacation and were treated like royalty by her. Each day there would be a different snack in the afternoons and the quantities would be phenomenal, considering the total number of family, By the way, she was called “Peddakka” or elder sister by not only her brothers but their children and so to say even us, her brother’s grandchildren. In fact, she was “Peddakka” of the entire village. At big festivals and weddings, the gathering would be huge and overwhelming! Only during weddings, does she allows caterers to be engaged!

Though It is just not about the food, for her it was the surest way to reach your heart. As was a common practice in that part of Andhra Pradesh I was married to my maternal uncle and became part of the family. Even today after close to 35 years after she passed away we take pride if we get a compliment that the particular item that one made tasted very close to Peddakka’s preparation. The tastes of food that she made was considered as a benchmark and still, they are topic of discussion whenever her nieces and nephews meet.

The joint family from my father’s side disintegrated as there was no joint property and Business or any other common interest, all brothers had their jobs and income and sharing of the income and spending on less privileged member’s families was not acceptable. Sharing and giving are key aspects of a Joint family. Without these two concepts, there is no joint family. 

The joint family in Lacchammapeta village had disintegrated because of the lack of growth opportunities in our village. Almost all the Youth in the second generation in the family moved out of the village for higher studies. In the next generation, some of them also moved to the USA. Few of those who could not make it, had the house to fall back. Now a time has come when there is no one from the direct family living there. The house which was once full of life and activity, Is dilapidated. The family has money to renovate the house but there is no requirement.

The house and its people had seen glorious times. Memories will always remain fresh in our hearts. We women will always try to revive the tastes of peddakkayya’s recipes so that we can go back down memory lane and be reminded of those unforgettable days.