A JOURNEY FROM ME TO WE

      

The very thought which comes to my mind when the word marriage is uttered is the vibrant colours everywhere, decorations, beautiful twinkling bright lights, mind-blowing glittery clothes of the bride, loud music, some gossiping aunties, giggling, laughing and pretty looking girls, staring them and flirting around boys, families excitedly posing for photos and video and last but not least mouth-watering cuisines. All this is what a mesmerizing big fat ‘Indian Marriage” is all about. Right from childhood, I have been highly fascinated by marriage functions. For me, it was a celebration and function where I could meet all my cousins; otherwise, I would never meet them all under one roof.

As childhood precipitated and I stepped into my youth, I got transformed into a beautiful butterfly, all thanks to my parent’s genes. But every good thing comes with its own cost. Growing up in an Indian environment, with cheesy boys teasing around and following me, was unavoidable and became a concern for my parents and me. I was never so bold as to manage such cheap boys. I would get nervous and shiver like a dry leaf. I could never revert to them with courage.

My parents grew highly anxious about this fact which forced them to fix my marriage at 18 years. I was immature and childish. Mine was a happy family of two plus two, but my marriage was fixed in a joint family having dozens of people, all with different temperaments. After marriage, initially, it became tough for me to cope up with everyone. Even a tiny criticism made me cry a lot. It was not that I was forced into this commitment. When I got the offer of my loving husband, I was blank and confused. I did not know or understand how to react. But the thought of getting away from the vulgar street boys made me happy. I was blessed that my parents never forced this proposal on me. They were kind enough to take my permission, and when I smiled and gave my consent, they were elated and proceeded further.

I never realized that marriage is such a huge responsibility. For me, at that budding age, it was a ceremony where I would get utmost importance. I would be getting preference over others for everything - getting new clothes, new jewellery, and everybody would attend me. Such thoughts made me blush that I would be so unique and in demand. I never knew that the accurate tests in life start after the marriage. It brought along with it many unknown and unexpected challenges. The initial dare was to mingle with all the members of my new family. I realized that it is just not the meeting of two people, two bodies and souls, but a union of two families. It taught me to be patient with every passing moment. My whole life changed. I changed from an obstinate girl to an adjustable woman. It was not easy, but then what is accessible in life? Are any challenges known or meant to be easy ever? I spent most nights crying, remembering my parents as I was never away from them before my marriage.

Since I was young and innocent, I used to invite new problems daily when I got married. It hurt to get emotionally and physically drained out, especially with the family members. This kept me hooked up, forcing me to think why I stepped into this mess.

In my family, I was given first preference, but things changed. I spent maximum time wondering if it was worth letting my freedom get curbed. Before, I was like a free bird, but I felt like being caught and caged after marriage. I agree I was troubled by a few indecent boys, but at the same time, I had the freedom to speak my heart out. Now all my childhood tantrums were suppressed. In between all this mess, one good thing that happened to be was to have a hand on my shoulder supporting me and assuring me not to worry; things will get better soon. Today, I can confess I have an understanding husband. His presence made all my pain worth bearing it. He has stood by me throughout facing all odd and even situations in life. His magic made all my pain convert into joy. I realized that true love does have a Midas touch. It can transform hardship into ease.

With passing time, I started understanding that marriage is an institution that works if I let go of my ego and start adjusting to the situations. I comprehended that it was a journey that started with “me.” Still, very soon, the ‘Alphabet M’ turned upside down to get changed into ‘Alphabet W.’ Marriage, in my opinion, is a beautiful journey from me to we.

Life has changed after marriage, yes. But it has changed for good. So, as an independent individual, I certainly feel marriage is essential to lead a comfortable and happy life. Why should we not enjoy such a fantastic journey? Without marriage, I would have never learned and enjoyed the new phases of my life. I would have never known what it was to love a stranger to the extent that he now comes first in every aspect. I share my life with him without a second thought, including my pain, tensions, and happiness. When I see his empathy for me, I feel like I am the fortunate person on earth. Without marriage, this fondness could never have been felt.

 I think, if it is a ritual set by society, what is wrong with it? It is a beautiful feeling to share life with someone who loves you. Yes, love takes time to solidify, but when it strengthens, it becomes an addiction. You cannot stop loving your partner ever.

Today I have been married for almost 15 years, and hardly a second has passed when I have regretted it. It might have been tough initially, but then life teaches us a lot. It is better to live in love and die in the arms of a lover than remain as a lonely soul spending life aloof with none to share happiness and sorrow. Explore all the challenges in life. You will undoubtedly celebrate it. Let not a few examples of black sheep hinder our commitments in life. Please create your own stories and live them, my friends. Commitments teach us responsibilities, and it leads to a purpose in life. Let us enjoy this excellent purpose of life. Believe me; it is worth it.