FIRST EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE

Life is a book filled with many fantastic and incredible experiences. These incidents are so unique and energizing that they give us a new dynamism and contentment each time we surf through them. Certain events may seem startling at that point, but it brings a smile to the face when we think of them later. The irony of life is that those events which brought a smile on the face may bring tears later, and those episodes which brought tears at that instance may get a chortle later.

                                                

Today when I look back at my life, I grin widely at all my follies. I was not yet over my impish childhood when I got an outstanding marriage proposal. My hubby was in love with me for a long time, and he proposed to me immediately after I completed my 12th. At the tender age of 18, I barely knew the obligations I had to face after the marriage. The word marriage brought a lot of delight and allure to me. When I thought of new flamboyant clothes, desirable jewelry, and exotic food, it brought a smile to my face. That was the only meaning of marriage I knew.

Though my parents were initially reluctant about my marriage, my mom-in-law persuaded my dad to give his daughter's hand to her son. When my dad initially refused to marry me to him, he went into depression and started smoking, making his mom exceedingly concerned. So, she went on persuading my dad till he agreed. She said that if something terrible happened to her son, he would be responsible for that. She promised to take the utmost care of me and pledged to see that I completed my education. Since the proposal was decent and she was very insistent, my parents consented. I got engaged instantaneously after five months, and later after six months, I was married to start a new episode in my life.

                     MARRIAGE DAY

It was a bright and beautiful Sunday when I got married. Early in the morning, my mom woke me to have a bath and get ready. I was gladly dressed in my bridal wear by 7'O clock. I was famished, as well as excited. I knew that it was the tension that made me hungrier. It always happened, even during the examinations. My mom kissed me on the forehead and told me that she would be busy with guests, so I had to do all the chores myself. She requested me to eat my full breakfast and be calm and composed. She said that she would undoubtedly send somebody with breakfast and to assist me with my make-up. Mom left me in a room in the marriage hall to attend to all the guests. She was extremely busy welcoming people and arranging breakfast for them. Sitting alone in the room, I wondered what people were doing in the hall. She always enjoyed marriages. Dressing and roaming around with friends and cousins, flirting with boys was an immense joy. Now, sitting in the room like a detainee, unable to go out of the room, was unexciting.

She sat, waiting for someone to bring breakfast for me. I was more excited about getting transformed. The bridal make-up and hairstyles were wandering in my curious mind. I waited for the person mom would send keenly, but nobody came. After a long interval, I heard a knock at the door, and it was my aunt with a plate of food. I asked her inquisitively what was happening in the hall? She said that the guests were arriving dressed at their best, and my mom arranged the ceremony. She placed the plate on the table and asked me whether she was hungry? Out of reticent, I denied. I was too tensed and confused. All the mixed emotions in me made me forget my hunger. My aunt took my words seriously, dragged the plate in front of her, and started eating. She said that she was starving and ate everything without a thought. When the container was empty, I gazed at her with shock. She smiled and asked me whether I was sure that I was not hungry. Staring at the empty plate, I said, "It is all right."

After some time, she said that the time for nikah was approaching, and she would dress me. She took out the make-up kit and asked me to come closer. I was exceptionally thrilled. I was waiting impatiently for this moment. I had lost my hunger in the enthusiasm of getting decorated. When I went closer to my aunty, she stared at me without blinking her eyes. She remarked that I looked gorgeous, and my beauty was a treat to the eyes. She said that anybody who saw me today was going to be lost in my beauty. She said that there was a peculiar brightness on my face. She kissed me on my cheek. I was flattered and looked down out of bashfulness. When I saw up again, I was astonished to see my aunt applying make-up herself. When I stared at her in anger, she said, "my sweetie, you look like an angel. I need make-up instead. Anyways you will be hidden in a veil, so there was no point in dressing you. I will get no time to dress up. Let me use this opportunity and time." Again, I was startled and gawked at her. When she was busy applying make-up on herself, there was a bang at the door once again. I opened the door; my grandpa came to take her to the hall for nikah. My aunt covered my face with a long veil, and I went to the gallery without breakfast and make-up, looking like a fool.

At the time of nikah, my mom came to me and pulled my veil up to kiss me. She was bewildered to see me without make-up. She bent down and muttered, why I had not applied it? As she was bent down whispering to me, a loud grunt came out of my stomach. She looked at me, amazed, and asked, "Didn't you eat your breakfast, my baby?" I just gave a vague smile. My mom glared at her sister as though she would eat her. After the nikah, she took me to the room, fed and dressed me up before the guests came to congratulate me.

To date, I keep tormenting my aunt that she was very inconsiderate on the day of my marriage, and she keeps laughing. She questions me why did I be coy before her?

                         MY FIRST NIGHT.

The evening of my nikah was excruciating and filled with sorrow. It was the first time I was going away from my parents. All my life, I never went anywhere without them. I was protected and pampered like a nut in the shell. Going to a new place with new people and without them made me go crazy for the first time. I cried a lot. I felt anxious and frightful. I thought, what if I committed some mistake? How and where will I stay? Numerous thoughts haunted me. Those days were very naïve since there was no internet or smartphones to improve knowledge. I was too innocent and immature. Probably at that age, everybody is.

Finally, I sat in the car to go to my new house. The tears in my parent's eyes, the pain in my dad's eyes to let go of his princess, and the concern in my mom's eyes regarding my future made me more apprehensive. I could feel it. All the delight and exhilaration had dissolved. Thousands of questions slithered my innocent mind as I sat in the car. My hubby tried to hold my hand, but I pulled my hand back with force. He was startled, but he smiled and did not force. The journey was almost two hours away from the marriage hall. I kept speculating that now flowers would meet like in Bollywood movies, and I would become pregnant. For me, that was the way to get pregnant. No one explained to me what would happen after marriage. I kept pondering which two flowers they would be. Drowned in all these thoughts, I did not realize that we had reached our destination. Once we arrived, my in-laws welcomed me with the utmost love and happiness.

Though I was welcomed with boundless joy, I was too petrified. It was not because of them, but because I had a noticeably big problem. I used to wear thick glasses because my eyesight was deficient. I was shortsighted, and I wore glasses of power -7.5 and -8 readings. It was like I was almost blind. So when people came to me to talk and meet, I could hardly see them. I acted very well to be regular, but deep inside, I knew that I could not see anyone of them. I could see a vague figure, but I could not see their faces at all. My glasses were with whom I did not know. My mom and dad had told me that they would hand it over to my relative, but I did not know whom to ask. I panicked when people came to meet me. When water was above my head, I whispered in my co sisters' ear that I could not see anything. She smiled and enquired where my glasses were and brought them to me. It was a relief wearing them. My in-laws were affectionate people though it was a big joint family, unlike mine, and I was happy to be a part of that big family. My co-sisters were very caring towards me. I was fortunate to be a part of that family. They dressed me up and left me in my new room. The moment I saw the room, I fell in love with it. It was an expansive room with beautiful interiors. The whole place was adorned with flowers. It was so brilliantly draped that I felt like I was Alice in the wonderland. The fragrance was just mesmerizing. My room was on the first floor of the building. Immediate below my room was the room of my co-sister, who was married four months before me.

I was taken in and made to sit in the center of the bed. I sat there, wondering what would happen next. My eyes rummaged everywhere to find those two big flowers. But they were missing. As my thoughts had overwhelmed me, I heard a knock at the door. My heart pumped with double speed. I felt as though it would come out of my body. With great courage and a gentle voice, I asked who it was? It was the maid who brought water, fruits, and milk in the room. I marveled at why this was brought to the room. My silly mind could not comprehend. She kept it and gave a broad grin, and asked me to enjoy it.

I looked perplexed at her and asked her where the flowers were? She looked equally confused and said that the entire room was filled with flowers and other flowers I needed? She went out, giving me a weird look. After five minutes again, a knock. Once again, my heart started racing. When I asked who it was, it was my niece. She came in and started saying that she wanted to sleep with me. I was happy. I told her to sleep with me, but her mom came in and dragged her out of the room. She said, "Tonight is your night. Please enjoy. You can sleep with her afterward." I sat and wondered what was going to happen and what I would enjoy the night. All my life, I have been sleeping at night. What was it to enjoy while snoozing? I wanted to ask her about the flowers, but I remembered the maid's look and kept quiet. As I was submerged in all these thoughts again, the door knocked. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I did not answer. Once more a loud knock and I forgot that I was married and a bride. With a loud voice, I shrieked, "Come in. how many times are you going to knock?"

My hubby entered with a jolt in his eyes. He was stunned for the second time. He said, "It seems as though someone is annoyed and traumatized." I smiled, and he smiled back. He took off his overcoat, and I pondered whether he is napping with me? I wondered whether he would change his clothes before me without shame. Several thoughts crawled my mind as I sat in the center of the bed. I moved more in the center, signaling that there was no room for him to sleep there. He just removed his overcoat and his shirt and sat at the edge of the bed, peeling a banana. He asked me whether I was hungry? I nodded in denial. He said that he was hungry and thirsty, so I asked him to drink milk as I was not hungry. He drank it. I knew he would drink because in movies, too, the bridegroom drinks.

I again started speculating how come he was so hungry. I thought that if he slept with this much filled in his tummy, his stomach would be upset. As it was not a topic of my botheration, I kept quiet. Slowly he moved inwards. I knew his intentions now. I understood that he wanted to occupy the bed and sleep, leaving no place for me. After all, it was his house. I moved back a little, and he moved more towards me. I moved away. Finally, he rolled more towards me, trying to hold my hand. I was so frightened that I moved drastically back, trying to go away from him. And to my surprise and bad luck, I fell off the bed with a loud noise waking my co-sister who was just below my room. She ran to call my other sisters-in-law and mom in law. I fell there with a nasty bump. My hubby was more shocked than I. He did not even bother to lift me and rushed to the door, opened it, and to his surprise, everybody was standing outside the door. He started saying, "I didn't do anything; I didn't do anything."

My sister-in-law rushed inside to see me lying on the floor. Lifting me, she asked me whether I was hurt. With tears in my eyes, I nodded. When she noticed, my thigh had become black and blue. I had fallen under tremendous pressure. She applied the balm and asked me to sleep. I slept crying like a baby remembering mom. My hubby did not enter the room that entire night. The next day he asked me how my pain was. I said that it was better. He laughed and said that he was not a beast, and I should not be so alarmed. He then explained that my brother-in-law had decorated the room with the staff. To make the room look more attractive, he had placed a big mattress over a small cot. That is why, when I moved back, the mattress did not hold my weight, and I fell. He immediately arranged for a new cot that would fit the bed. But my thigh was gone in his decoration. It took me a week to recover well. After a week, my co-sister explained that I had to cooperate with my hubby and not behave oddly if he held my hand. She presented me with the real meaning of marriage. I was red like a tomato listening to her. After a week, I knew what the union of two bodies was.

This was how I spent my first night: nothing to enjoy but more to bear. To date, my in-laws make fun of my idiocy. It is a topic to joke about and irritate me.

              MY FIRST COOKING EXPERIENCE.

I was fortunate to be born in a family where I was protected like a wax doll. In my childhood, I once happened to burn my hand with hot water, and from then, I was not allowed to go into the kitchen. My dad was very possessive of my sister and me. He had strictly ordered my mom that his daughters would never cook. She was also protective of us. We were lucky to have maids at home who would serve us everything. Growing up in such an atmosphere, I had forgotten that cooking was also a part of routine life.

The first blow I got was after a week of my marriage. It was a custom in our house that the bride would cook alone for the rest of the house members. Probably it was because that was the way others came to know her talent. When my hubby told me that this was the house's custom and I had to cook that day, I almost fainted. I did not know how to react. I was not yet so close to my hubby that I could tell him. I thought, what if he told everybody at home? They would think that I was a nut. Filled with extreme worries, I sat in my room when my mom-in-law called me out. She said that I had to cook for lunch alone and she had arranged for all the ingredients in the kitchen. I nodded like a cow.

With heavy feet, I entered the kitchen. There were many groceries covered on the shelf. I looked desperately at them. I thought to myself how easy it was to eat but so challenging to be in a situation like this. Everyone was busy with their work. Nobody to rescue me

I went to see what was in the giant shopper. To my surprise, it was fish. I jumped back two steps seeing it. I had never touched uncooked meat ever in my life, and now to touch a fish was out of the question. Mom would feed me to ensure I did not swallow the fish thorns when mom cooked fish at home. I sat thinking about why I married. Gathering all my courage, again I went towards it. Now my imagination started taking over me. The gaping mouth of the fish seemed to like it was calling me to devour me. I felt as though it was a shark with sharp teeth, ready to eat me. I screamed out of fear and jumped back. My co-sister came in to ask whether I was safe. She was astonished to see that I had touched nothing. She looked at me and immediately understood that I did not know to cook. With tears in my eyes, I looked at her for mercy. She smiled and volunteered to guide me. She told me first to empty the fish into a big tub. Seeing that I was hesitant to touch, she came forward and did it herself. She asked me to cut the onions. I took the onion and tried to cut it without peeling it. She asked me to peel the skin and then cut. As I peeled, my eyes rained cyclone. She was perplexed at my condition. She asked me to move away and did all the work herself. Within an hour, she did everything. She went downstairs to do her chores. I went for a bath. As I came out, all had gathered to eat lunch. I served them with intense dignity, as though I had cooked. Everybody ate happily and praised my cooking and gifted me some amount as was the tradition. When my co-sister came up, she was surprised to see that people believed it was my appraisal. She laughed silently. I begged her through my eyes not to reveal the secret. She was compassionate enough to let me receive all the compliments.

              MOM COMES TO VISIT ME FOR THE FIRST TIME.

After almost a week of my marriage, I started growing closer to my hubby. I had understood the real meaning of marriage, and life looked ravishing. Everything added sense to live. I flourished and bloomed. I not only enjoyed staying in his arms all the time, but my eyes searched for him everywhere whenever he went away. Similar was his condition. He would hardly go away from me, but when he came out of the room, he would be staring at me. His friends and brothers would make fun of him, saying that I would melt off the way he stared at me. The entire night he would not let me come off his chest and always complimented me by saying that I looked more splendid than the moon. I had started appreciating his company and everybody at home. No one seemed a stranger now. But everybody at home kept me away from the kitchen. They had realized that my cooking was a faux pas. I, too, wanted the same, and so did all the trivial works.

After a fortnight of my marriage, my mom came to visit me with my sister. She could not bear more to live without me. She impatiently wanted to see and hug me. The moment she stepped in, I hurried and embraced her so tight that she almost suffocated. She was equally enthusiastic about meeting me. She kissed me so much as though I was away from her for years. My sister nuzzled and clasped me and started crying that she was not enjoying home without me. She was not well; still, she came to meet me. Dad accompanied mom in the evening, and with tears in his eyes, he embraced me, saying that the illumination of the house had vanished without me.

We started preparing extravagant dinners for my parents. All my co-sisters were in the kitchen. I, too, joined them. As usual, I was given all the easy tasks. They did not want to spoil their cuisine, handing significant toil to me. After the table was arranged, my elder co-sisters went to change. My immediate co-sister and I stayed in the kitchen. She was rolling the chapatis, and I was baking them with a steel spatula. We both were best friends as we were almost the same age and married just four months apart. When we were busy baking, mom came in and stood with us. She was stunned, seeing me working near the fire. She talked to Ayesha, my co-sister, and asked her how I was doing at my new home. She grinned and complimented me, initially making me honored. Later she started complaining about me. She said that I was a disaster in the kitchen. Her words made me so angry that I stared ridiculously hard at her. she was teasing me, but I critically took each story. Out of rage, without giving a second thought, I place the hot spatula on her hand, burning her. I dumbfounded her initially, but later her eyes were filled with tears. Mom was shocked and did not know how to react. She went on consoling Ayesha. She applied ice to her hand and was angry at me. I later realized that my co-sister pulled my leg, and I had no right to do that. I asked for her apology. After some time, she was relaxed and happy again. Mom was angry at me and later strictly advised me that I was no more a kid. I was a lady and had to behave with accountability.

That night, mom and dad stayed in a hotel. They refused to stay with us because I would not leave them. As they were going, my sister started crying that she wanted to remain with me. Mom convinced her, but she wept bitterly. Seeing her behave so, my hubby forced them to allow her to stay with us. At night, when we came to sleep, as we had freshly started getting close to each other, the fascination was so intense that we asked her to sleep at the edge of the bed. He asked me to sleep beside him, and I agreed, but my sister would disagree. She wanted to sleep in between us. I tried to persuade her a lot, but she was stubborn.

I told my hubby that after she was fast asleep, we could move her. He agreed. We slept. She slept, and after some time, I slept too. My hubby woke me and asked me to come to him. As I moved, she awoke and said, “Dida, where are you going?” I said nowhere and slept again. This time after nearly two hours, he woke me again. When I was moving, she awoke again to agitate my hubby. She started saying, “Are you both going away, leaving me here? I am not sleeping.” Saying so, she sat up not to sleep the entire night. My hubby was infuriated. He slept, turning his face away from me in annoyance.

Early the next morning, he woke my sister, who was dozing sitting on the pillow. He told her that he wanted to treat her to a good breakfast and buy her chocolate. She gladly consented. She went with him. There he said to her that at night a Jinny had visited who would kidnap the kids. He asked her not to stay with us ever at night. She was terrified. He then took her to my mom's room in the hotel. As soon as my sister saw mom, she told her about the Jinny story. Mom started laughing loudly. She said, ‘I know which Jinny it was.’ My hubby returned, quite embarrassed.

                        MONEY LOST

Days just vanished in no time. I felt as though 24 hours were converting into 24 secs. When we are happy, time flies, it is true. I felt like I would jinx my happiness. After a few days, we planned to go on our honeymoon. We planned to go to Ooty as it was too cold and rainy in other places. Since we planned to go far off area, my hubby withdrew the bank amount and continued carrying it with us. In those days, credit cards were not in use. We had to take money wherever we went. That night we spent packing things. We were advised to carry warm clothes by our elders. They hardly knew that my warm blanket was my darling’s arms. His desirous eyes and warm hug drove the cold away, making me melt with heat in his arms. As the night turned into day, my heart started pumping faster to go to a cold hilly place. When the car arrived, we placed all the luggage and got ready.

As my hubby came out of the room, he noticed that he had not carried the cash with him. He went inside and started searching everywhere, but he did not find it. He called me and asked me whether I had taken the money. His way of questioning hurt me, ruining my mood. I asked him whether he doubted me. He looked shocked at me, but I was so upset that I made up my mind that he was blaming me. I started weeping. My mom-in-law came to my rescue. She started consoling me and telling me that he just asked whether I had it, but I did not understand. Finally, my co-sisters began searching for the money and found it in my purse. My hubby had kept the money in my purse at night without telling me, so we did not forget to carry it. My mom-in-law signaled my co-sister to keep it in my hubby’s coat. Then she removed the money from there and scolded my hubby, saying that he keeps it anywhere and forgets. When she scolded him, and I knew that money was with him, I was happy. My hubby asked for forgiveness unnecessarily to cheer me up, and we continued our journey. My mom-in-law gave me some money to keep in my purse and use when necessary.

I was not on talking terms with him for a long time. He tried to persuade me, but I did not respond well. He bought a few sweets that I loved, flowers, and many more things to cheer me up, but I did not budge. But when he started eating my sweet, I could not control it. I felt like he would finish it up. I pulled it and started eating. The route to Ooty was fabulous. We had to pass through a forest called Bandipur, which is a game sanctuary. I was thrilled to see a herd of elephants passing, deer running across the roads, and peacocks dancing. It was a treat to the eyes.

When we reached Ooty, it was cold. I held my hubby tight. Extreme chilly weather and the romantic environment made both of us crazy. The burning yearning in his eyes drew me more towards him as the fireflies go close to the fire. I always wanted to be in his arms. A week in Ooty passed as if it was a day. I never wanted to come back. I longed to stay there with him for ages in the same way. But life has its plans. We had to return with heavy hearts. Immediate after another week of closeness, it was the time for our separation. My heart broke into a thousand pieces when it was time for him to leave back to Dubai, and it was the first time I had experienced such pain in my life.

                HUBBY’S RETURN TO DUBAI.

After almost two months of immense happiness, it was time to separate. My hubby had to return to his work in Dubai. Something cut my heart in my body. I felt so sad that I would cry silently in a corner whenever I was alone. He knew what I was going through because even he felt the same. My eyes were swollen from two days before his departure. He would kiss my eyes and hug me tight, but that increased my grief. When the day to depart came, I saw tears for the first time in his eyes. He embraced me close, saying that he loved me, and now he could not stay without me. He promised to send my visa as soon as possible to accompany him to Dubai. Early in the morning, we started to Bangalore to send him.

All the way, he sat beside me, holding my hand. My mom-in-law saw our suffering and tried to cheer us by telling all sorts of stories, but who understood them? We were indifferent mood. We were in the trans world. As the airport approached, my heart started squeezing more intensely. How I wished that something happened, and the airport was closed. How I wanted his going got postponed. With all the discarded feelings, we reached the airport. He was getting late as we had started late. I walked with him till the security check. My mom-in-law held my hand then, telling me that was my boundary. For the first time, he hugged me before everybody and went inside. I felt as though my soul left my body and gone in. I watched him without winking my eyes till he disappeared. He, too, went on waving me till he could not see us. My mom and dad had also come to the airport. I hugged my mom and started crying. She kissed me and told me that I would meet him soon. We waited till the flight took off and then returned to our house with heavy hearts.

          MY FIRST JOURNEY TO DUBAI

After the departure of my hubby, days were too long to spend. I was totally into depression. I had never comprehended that a stranger would play such a vital role in my life. Just a few months back, I was reluctant to hold his hand, and now he had become my lifeline. Life is so unpredictable. Everything in that house reminded me of him. In those days, there were no cell phones. The only way of communicating was through landlines. It was way too expensive. That is why he would call twice a week. And that also everybody wanted to talk to him which would cut down my time.

Moreover, there would be no privacy. The phone would be in the hall, and everybody would be looking at me while talking, which would embarrass me to the level. I would just reply to him in yes or no. As was promised by my mom-in-law, she allowed me to join college to complete my degree. I could stay with my parents as they remained in Bengaluru and my in-laws were in Chitradurga. Studying in Chitradurga would be a change of university. Anyway, I loved staying in both places. So, it made no difference. My in-laws, too, loved me like my parents. Still, going to my parents and my college gave me enormous pleasure.

My mind got diverted in my studies. I was happy now that I would speak to my hubby alone. No one to distract me while talking to him. All his time was mine. With great difficulty, one year passed. Immediate after my exams, even before the results were out, I got my visa, and my hubby asked me to come to him—the thoughts of going enthralled me. My parents and in-laws were happy too. I visited all my friends tell them that I would be traveling soon. They were equally delighted and jealous of my luck. It was a great deal in those days to travel to the gulf. As the date to depart approached, my heart pumped extremely fast. My parents started packing my things, but my mom was wildly enthusiastic about packing my things. She started my packing for a week. She made it a point to pack from salt to pulses to rice to flour to everything. She also loaded all utensils. It was the first time somebody was traveling to the gulf. She failed to realize that a limited amount of luggage was allowed. She thought it was like traveling by train. The amount of weight allowed was 30kgs, but it exceeded 50kgs. A night before my journey, all my in-laws came to bid me farewell. I was surrounded by all the people who loved me. The day I had to travel, I got up early in the morning. My mom hugged me, and we again slept for a while. Then I started getting ready. There was no direct flight to Dubai from Bengaluru as it was not an international airport. So, I had to travel to Mumbai, and from there, I had to catch the next flight to Dubai. Though my flight was at night, I had to go to Mumbai in the evening to ensure everything was alright. My heart was pumping too fast, and my adrenaline level was high again. Firstly, traveling by air, second, leaving everybody and going to an unknown land filled a peculiar nervousness in me. As I was wearing my pink dress in the afternoon, my parents approached me as my hubby loved me in pink and told me to be courageous and act prudently. My dad started saying that I was his angel and incredibly young. I had to act responsibly. People may bluff me at the airport; I needed to be excessively vigilant. He said people might fool me and give me packets to carry, which may have drugs; I was not supposed to be friendly with anyone. He said that he had withdrawn some cash that I should take with me to use in an emergency, so it was his idea to pack it in clothes and keep it in a suitcase rather than in my purse. He said I would lose it in Mumbai or another place as I was careless. Listening to him, I felt as though I was going to the border for a war. I was cold. All the excitement to meet my hubby had vanished. My heart was beating so fast that I felt it would come out of its cage. Strange fear had surrounded me. Finally, the time to leave for the airport approached. My mom started taking out all the luggage she had packed. I was frightened of seeing so many boxes: nearly six cartons, three suitcases, and three bags. I looked at her with awe. She said, count them well and remember them. I felt as though they were banishing me. I had to go to a land where there was nothing to survive, and that is why so much to carry. I started trembling. Then came the members to go to the airport. My family and my in-laws made more than 20 members. My neighbors also wanted to accompany my friends and me. They were nearly ten members. A total of 30 members were ready to accompany me to the airport. Dad had to hire a van to take all of us. I felt as though all of them are attending to throw me in some big black pit. All the way, my mom’s eyes were wet. So were my dad’s and sister’s eyes. I hardly saw their eyes. When we reached the airport and started unloading my luggage, I lost my patience, so I started sobbing loud, holding my dad tight that I did not want to go. I told him that I was too nervous, and my legs were shaking. I told him that I would wait every year for my hubby in India rather than leaving all and going to him. He tried to convince me, but the more he convinces me, the more I cried. The departure time for my flight to Mumbai was approaching, and my dad started saying that I was a bold girl and I should not act so silly. All relatives, friends, and neighbors cried as though I was going forever never to return, and they would never see me. Finally, unable to see my sobbing, my dad asked my cousin to accompany me to Mumbai. He asked him to take care of me and be with me till my flight to Dubai took off. On the spot, my dad purchased his ticket, and he accompanied me. He was dancing out of joy. He started thanking me, saying that he would never get a chance to fly in the air if I did not cry. We entered the airport. I hugged my mom and cried a lot. All my excitement to go to Dubai had vanished. I had forgotten the delight of traveling for the first time in flight. I was just numb. After the immigration, my cousin accompanied me to the gate. Once he went near the gate, he saw the flights and forgot me. He started running here and there, seeing the flights as though he was a small child. When we entered the flight, he started pleading to me that he would sit in the window seat. The separation thoughts lost me so much that I did not think a lot and agreed. He sat there looking outside and telling me that all the members were waiting for the flight to fly. He would wave to them from up. when the air hostess asked us to tie the belts, he was so excited. He called the air hostess unnecessarily, asking her to tie for him. His behavior was embarrassing me. But his curiosity made me laugh. As the flight took off, his face lit, he started saying that we are up now, but I cannot see or identify anybody. I laughed and told him that we were too high to recognize anybody.

When the flight was high up, he showed me clouds and told me it is like a dream. We are in the shadows now. Soft, white, cottony clouds looked so beautiful. He said that if the windows opened, he would collect a few and show them to all the relatives. His exclamations and delight kept me occupied. Finally, we landed at the Mumbai domestic airport. From there, we took the bus to Mumbai international airport. The bus was from the airport. When we reached there, it was time for my next flight. I hugged my cousin and told him to go back safely. He had to travel around by train. He started saying that he wished to drop me in Dubai, but it was not possible. He said that he would be bored without me and to go back by train would be more boring. I smiled at him. He promised me that he would wait there till my flight took off and then leave. I agreed. Now my feet started becoming heavy. I had to travel alone from here. I was frightened. I was in awe. I went in. it was a huge airport. All the advice from my dad started haunting me. I was afraid even to talk to people to ask them where to go and what to do. I went and stood in a line for the passengers traveling by Cathy Pacific flight with incredible difficulty. It was my flight. I stood there with all my luggage. People looked at me and my baggage and laughed. As I went to the counter, they asked me to weigh my luggage. As I considered it, it was 20 kgs over the allowed weight. The gentleman started saying that I had to remove the luggage or pay for the extra baggage. I looked at him with eyes filled with tears and said that I had none to send it back. He said that in that case, I had to drop the luggage there itself or pay extra money. I was cold. My brain had stopped working. Unable to understand what to do, I sat there, confused and worried. A lady came to me, seeing my plight, to help me. But according to my dad, I had not to talk with anyone. So, I refused to listen to her. she walked off. As I was weeping and praying to God, suddenly I remembered that dad had packed money in my suitcase to use in an emergency. I wiped my eyes and started searching for it. I had occupied a large area of the counter. I shabbily started pulling out my clothes and searching for my money. People were staring at me as though I was an alien who had landed from a UFO. After pulling out all the suitcase clothes, I finally found the money enclosed in one of my T-shirts. I took it out. I handed over all that money to the person at the counter. He smiled and said it was less. I looked at him with astonishment. He said that I was falling short of Rs. 500. Now, what to do? I started crying again. I told him that I had given him all the money I had. Unable to see my sobbing, he muttered, “Women’s tears make all illegal works legal.” Thankfully, he asked me to pack up everything and pushed my luggage, handing me my boarding pass. I asked him what to do next. He guided me and asked me to take care of myself and wipe my face. I smiled at him palely and moved ahead.

After immigration, a policewoman guided me to my flight. It was on time. Without talking to any strangers, I went and sat in my seat. It was pitch dark outside. My flight took off. I thought about my cousin and wished he went back safely. When the flight was up in the air, I looked outside to see nothing. It was the darkest night. On the television in front of me, it was showing that we were flying over the Arabian sea. I wondered if our flight fell; it was so dark; that nobody would come to our rescue even. I did not know about swimming too. I thought, was it the last time I saw my parents? Numerous unwanted thoughts crept into my mind making me increasingly nervous. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but in vain. As I closed my eyes, I could see the wet eyes of my mom and dad. It disturbed me more. I opened my eyes and prayed to God that I might reach my destination soon. Finally, I arrived at Dubai airport. I was relieved a bit. With all the people, who were rushing out of the flight, I joined them and followed them. When I looked around, I saw all the unfamiliar faces.

People wore different attire. They spoke a new language. I was more frightened now. In India, at least they spoke the language I knew. Now what? I was terrified. I stood in an outstandingly long queue which stood with passports in hand. I stood there, waiting for my turn. I looked around to see everything new. I felt like people had dumped me on Mars to live with aliens. My credulous mind looked around and imagined that they were all there to attack me. I stood there, scared and upset. As I stood drowned in my thoughts, I was perturbed by a man who stood in front of me. He told me that somebody standing in the audience gallery was waving at me for a long time. First, my brain had so traumatized that I did not understand his words, but I looked up and told him that I did not know who it was when he showed in action. He looked at me with surprise and turned back. When my turn to go to the counter's window came, I went there reluctantly, not knowing what to say. The lady at the counter was sweet. She looked at me and took my passport. She asked me in English whether it was my first trip to Dubai? I nodded. She said that Dubai was a beautiful place, and I would enjoy staying here. I smiled. She said that there was no reason for me to be nervous and asked me to enjoy my stay. I thanked her and went to collect my enormous baggage. I managed and walked outside the airport, thinking, what if my hubby had not come to take me. Where would I go? What would I do? As I was wondering about all this, somebody tapped me from the back. I turned around to see. I stared at the person, tapping my shoulder sharply. He was my hubby. He remarked, “Did you forget me? I was waving to you even in the queue, but you did not respond. Do not stare like I am a stranger. In Dubai, the punishment is very severe to tease a girl. They will arrest me if you stare at me like a stranger.” He started laughing, saying so. I then realized that it was my hubby. My mind activated a little. I hugged and cried like a baby, saying that I was petrified. He calmed me down and told me to be away till we reached home. He said that my touch was too much for him to tolerate. Hahaha. My hubby worked in Al Ain, so we had to come to Al Ain from Dubai. It was a journey of nearly two hours. The first thing we did was call my parents and told them that I reached safely. They were happy and said that they were too tense till I called. They asked me to relax and be satisfied. I agreed, and we went further.

                MY NEW HOME IN AL AIN.

Entire road from Dubai to Al Ain, my hubby was very restless. I could feel it. He stared for long at me as if he would eat me with his eyes. I felt like I was a cake kept in front of a hungry boy. He was driving, so he was unable to do anything to me. The distance from Dubai to Al Ain was nearly 150kms, and he went merely in 1 hour and 15 mins. I was surprised.

In Dubai, my hubby parked to have our dinner. I looked outside the window of the hotel. As it was June, the temperature was too high. As high as my hubby was now. It was raining in Bengaluru, and it was frigid. It was an extreme change in the climate. The whole city was tranquil. I could not see anybody roaming on streets like in India. I saw no two-wheelers. I saw no animals, especially dogs, on the streets. Occasionally I found cats near the dustbins. I wondered what had happened to this city. Was there any sort of curfew? Why was the city so quiet? Everywhere cars. Those cars, which I rarely saw with great admiration in India, were a common sight here. I thought to myself; my Bengaluru was far better than this place. It had life. People moved around, and I would feel secure. Here nothing. Everything was so well organized as if I were in some military camp.

Anyway, we reached Al Ain. It was a late night. My hubby parked his car in front of a massive villa with a big, high gate. My heart danced with joy seeing the entrance. Is this colossal villa mine? Numerous thoughts started popping into my mind. My hubby walked towards the gate, holding my hand. He opened the gate and said it was our new home. I almost jumped in happiness. He asked me whether I needed all the baggage right now to bring inside. I said not required except for my suitcase, which had all that I needed. He got that inside. As I walked into the house chanting the name of God, he asked me to remain silent. I started opening the closed doors to peep into which rooms they were in. But he pulled me into our bedroom. I thought that it was his restlessness that made him do it. I, too, wanted to hug him. It had been quite a long since I had slept on his chest, and I was tired also. My eyes were blood red after all the melodrama I had done. I went into the bedroom, and I did not realize how I slept in his arms. It was divine. I dived into a different world. I do not remember how long I had slept. I got up only to the sound of someone knocking on our door. When the knocking continued, I opened my eyes with incredible difficulty. Initially, I thought I was in India, but when I looked around and saw that I was lying on his chest, I came back to my sense. Again, the door knocked. I looked at the clock, and it was already 11.30. I woke my hubby and told him someone was knocking on the door. Then suddenly, it flashed to me how someone could knock on the bedroom door. I thought that I had kept the door open and some thief might have entered. I felt that there is action as soon as I entered Dubai. As my hubby walked towards the door, I screamed and said, “Don’t open the door. I think it's some burglar.” He stared at me and opened the door. An old lady was standing outside the door with a tray of breakfast. My hubby thanked her and took the tray, and placed it on the table. She went away. He locked the door again.

I looked flabbergasted at him. He smiled and asked what made me so surprised? I asked him whether she was our maid. He nodded in disagreement and said that she was the owner of the house. He said that we lived in her home. We were sharing the house with them. I looked perplexed. I asked him what was sharing the house? I never heard of such a thing before in my life. He said that in Al Ain, all the places were either mud houses or huge villas. The big villas were too expensive to afford. So, people took the villas and shared them with a family. I was the rightful owner of just that room and a bathroom—even the kitchen I had to share with that lady. I looked disturbed at him and wondered will I have someone to sit on my head regularly!!!

I was taken aback. I asked my hubby what sort of life it is. He smiled and said that it was the way people lived here. Then slowly, he said that the bed I was sleeping on was also of the owner. I looked like a ghost at him, and he blushed. I asked about the other furniture, and he said that it was either of the owner or a gift from his friend. I was so much in awe that I sat in the corner wondering then what was mine? He said only he was mine. I sat there, interpreting that India was far better than this place. Did I commit a mistake by coming here? After we had a bath, we had our breakfast. She had made excellent parathas. I thought at least there was somebody to help me with my cooking. My real tests start now because I had to cook all alone. My hubby brought all my things inside. He said that I should have hired a cargo plane to carry so much luggage. When I showed him the entire thing that I brought, he was surprised. He said that I was an idiot to pay Rs.10000 for Rs10\ kg salt and said that all my family was mad to pack all the waste things and pay for that. I exclaimed that he was brilliant to borrow everybody’s items and make his wife happy.

              FIRST EXPERIENCE OF SHARING A KITCHEN.

For a week, I was in eternal bliss. In the mornings, my hubby bought food from the hotel. We had dinner parties for a week. I made many friends. When they came to know about the amount I paid at the airport and the things I brought, everybody made fun of me. We had good laughter. Things went smoothly for a week. After that, the party was over. My hubby took me shopping. We bought all the necessary items needed. I realized that Dubai had everything, and I was foolish to carry so many things from India. I was astonished that I found even curry leaves here.

After that, I started a new chapter in my life. All these days, I was pampered a lot. Neither my mom’s place nor my in-laws permitted me to cook. Now I had to experiment with salt and sugar. One fine morning I entered the kitchen taking God’s name. all the utensils seemed to make fun of me. I was unable to understand what to do. I opened the cabinets and found that two of them were empty for me to use. I had brought plastic bottles from India. I placed them there. But where was the stove? I had to share it with my neighbor. She was an expert cook. She cooked early and went leaving the entire battlefield for me to use. I switched on the stove and, for the first time, started cooking in Dubai. I made dal and rice. I miscalculated the amount of salt to put and added a bit more. But the worse was cooking rice. I never understood how much time it needed to cook. Sometimes it got burnt, and sometimes it was undercooked. My hubby was fed up with eating such rice and ultimately brought me a rice cooker. He said that I was a failure in the kitchen. I knew it myself, but I pretended to get angry with him. I was unable to eat what I cooked. It tasted so weird. I would wait for Fridays as we dined al fresco on Fridays. My neighbor would laugh at me for my disastrous cooking, but she never interfered. I appreciate that habit of hers. At times she would offer her food to me, which I ate with a lot of appreciation. At times I would feel like stealing her food out of hunger and frustration. But I would control my emotions. It took me nearly three months to make an okay type of dal. My hubby was the right person who had that much patience to bear with me. I salute him for that.

                 KNOCK ON THE AC.

Days rolled smoothly. I was still adapting to the pristine environment. I still had the same concepts of security and safety as in India. My mind failed to comprehend that I was in Dubai now in a sharing family. The entire day I would sleep or watch television. I was feeling lonely. Though my neighbor was there, she would always be busy in her room. I, too, thought that talking and disturbing her is not right. I was a prankster back home. Here sitting alone doing nothing was so annoying. Evenings were the best time of the day. When my hubby returned from the office, I would remove all my frustrations on him. I would talk till he went deaf. The silence of the full day would be paid for by speaking to him. He was also extremely patient and would listen to me with interest. After a while, he would say that his ears hurt or block his ears with some cotton.

More than me, the ac at home would make noise. Once in the room, with ac on, we could not hear what was going on outside the room. In those days, we had window ac.

After dinner, one fine night, as it was my habit even in India, I closed the doors, locked all of them, came to my room, and slept in his arms. We were watching tv. I talked to him about how I would play with my sister and frighten her. he was patting my head and alluring me. As we were busy in our conversation, we heard a loud noise of stones being thrown at our ac. I was petrified. I was so frightened that I hugged him tightly out of fear. I thought that a riot had broken as it happened in India. I did not understand what to do. The stones rained on ac continuously.

My hubby wanted to get up and go out and see what was happening, but I did not permit him to move. When the noise was unbearable, he said that he would just watch who was outside from the window. We had no phone in our room so that we could call the police. Anyways, he slowly walked to the door. The distance between the door and the gate was nearly ten meters. As he walked towards the gate, I sat there and prayed to God that he should be safe. As he went towards the gate, he heard the voice of our owner calling out. He opened the gate. She started yelling that we locked everything and did not open the door despite her throwing stones at the ac. She said that she had dinner and had been for a walk, and we locked everything. It was not needed. She told us to shut only our room. Rest, she will take care of. My hubby stared at me and said, this is the curfew and riot. You create problems everywhere. It was after this incident I learned to be to myself. I knew that it was a safe country, and no riots ever happened here.

           NAUGHTINESS COSTS BLOOD.

Happiness filled my days, and I had started jinxing my delights. Every day was a new day filled with joy and love. In India, we had to be cautious as everybody would be around, but here we are like free birds. We flew up in the air of desires. No one to restrict. No time to be followed. Everything looked magical and celestial. One day, he came from the office for lunch. I was young and naughty. I hid behind the door, and as he stepped in, I frightened him. He was in a good mood and said that he would teach me a lesson. I asked him to catch me if he had to be naughty with me. He ran after me. I ran in front of him. The room was big, and we had laid the furniture in the corners. He screamed at me and asked me to be cautious, lest I hurt my feet. I teased him back, saying that he was not as agile as I was to catch me. In those flirting, he jumped over me to clasp me. As he jumped, I came in his hands, but we lost control. He hugged me, and both went with the flow.

We tumbled, and I sat down near the dressing table. The edge of the dressing table was very sharp. As I sat, my hubby bent down to protect me. To throw tantrums, I started sobbing, telling him that I hurt my hand. As I was acting, I felt drops of water falling on me. I looked up to find out that it was not water but blood flowing from his forehead. He had hit his forehead on the sharp edge. I was unable to judge whether he had hurt his forehead or his eye. I started shaking. Within a minute, there was a pool of blood around. I started crying loudly, not understanding what to do. He sat on the chair, holding his head. I started pressing it, but he would not allow me to touch him. His blood shattered me. I ran out to the owner and told him that my hubby had hurt himself. Blood filled my clothes with the strains. He rushed into our room, slowly held my hubby’s hand, and took him to the hospital.

I was asked to stay back at home. I was so much in tension that I could not think straight. It took a long time for them to return. As soon as they returned, I saw the entire head of my hubby bandaged. My neighbor said that he rushed to the clinic, and they did not entertain them and asked them to run to the government hospital. There he was treated, and he had nine stitches on his forehead. Luckily, his eye was safe. It was a relief. It was a police case. The police came to take his report and asked him how he had hurt himself. My hubby said that he fell in the bathroom. The unfortunate thing, he was in extreme pain for a week. Even after 20 years of the incident, his forehead has the mark of stitches. I tease him, and he says that it shows how much he loved me.

           FIRST FIGHT IN LOVE.

Human beings are a mixture of numerous feelings. We are made of several emotions, and all of them are wonderful and should be exhibited at the right time. One of these emotions is anger and annoyance. Where there is love, there should certainly be anger and fights. My house was filled with a lot of love, but then came a moment of rage, and it increased to the extent of argument to fighting. We both were quarreling in no time like wrestlers. After some time, my hubby walked out of the room. He was in a horrible mood. I was also outraged. In anger, under the influence of Hindi serials, I wrote a letter stating ---" I am fed up with life. I quarreled with my hubby, and he does not understand me. I am very much annoyed. I do not want to live more. I am ending my life. My hubby is not to be blamed for my death. It is entirely my decision.” I wrote this and kept it on the tv stand. After half an hour, my hubby returned. I was lying on the bed with my eyes swollen. It was the first time he saw me cry. He was sorry though it was my mistake. He hugged me and assured me that he would buy me a good gift to compensate for the fight. He went on soothing me, and after a while, I melted off. We sorted our matters and slept peacefully in each other’s arms.

I forgot about the letter. He, too, had not seen it. The evening before he came from the office, my neighbor called me and requested me to accompany her to the clinic for some pain. I said that I would ask him and come, but she said that we would be back before returning from the office. I agreed and went with her without the permission of my hubby. It took a long time in the clinic. When we returned, my hubby had not come. I waited for him, but he did not return. I started getting worried. After some time, my neighbor summoned me that there was a call for me. I went to her room, and it was my hubby’s call when I picked up the call. I asked him why he was late. He said, where had I been. I asked him how he knew I was out without coming home. He hanged the phone and came back home. He looked furious. I asked him what the matter was. He said that we would undoubtedly have fights and arguments as a couple, but that did not mean I commit suicide. I asked when did I plan to commit? He showed me the letter. I then remembered that I had not destroyed it. He said that he was planning to go to the police regarding this issue. He was frightened and was in awe of what to do. He searched for me everywhere. He had been to the bridge to see whether I had plunged into the sea.

Since he did not find me anywhere, as a last try, he called to check whether my neighbor knew where I was. If I did not pick up the call, he would go to the police. I was petrified, and I could make out the anxiety and fear on his face. I hugged him and asked him for forgiveness. He asked me to promise that I would never commit such a stupid thing in life, even in the worst conditions. He explained that running away from the situation is not the solution to the problem. As human beings, we need to face them with courage and try to solve them.

              

            THE FIRST TIME I BECAME A TEACHER.

Three months of my stay in Al Ain passed in a flash of light, experimented with my cooking. My hubby’s face at the dining table would look pathetic. I felt he regretted calling me to him because he had to eat what I cooked. But I slowly became an okay cook. After a few months, I started having giddiness. I thought that I was too much in the house, which made me sick. I told my hubby that I wanted to go out for a walk. It was always in the car we went out. It made me lazy. I thought that the sedentary lifestyle made me sick. My hubby took me out for a walk.

All the streets of the city were deserted. I was shocked that nobody roamed in the city barefooted. The streets were clean and wide. Beautifully decorated and well-lighted streets drew my attention. I thought if it were India, many would reside on the roads. They were so clean. But despite being engraved in all these thoughts, I felt as though the entire world spun around me. I could not walk more. I stopped and told my hubby that something was wrong with me. He took me to the doctor to give us the best news of our life that I was pregnant. The contentment of the report was evident on my hubby’s face. More than me, his face lit with joy. He so much rejoiced that he walked out of the clinic without paying money to the doctor. Hahaha

When the news reached my parents and in-laws, they were thrilled too. Then started the list of advice. What to eat, what not, how to walk, and so on. I was treated like a doll. Sometimes it felt good, but sometimes it was too much to bear.

Every human being has its own set of tests. We must face them. Life is never too easy to lead. All these days of happiness now had to undergo a trial. One sad day, as I had a bath and was coming out of the tub, I tripped and fell with my stomach hitting the tub wall. I started bleeding without delay. I could not get up. I tried my level best to get up, but I failed. Our neighbors were out too. I had to lie there for an hour till my hubby came for his lunch. He was horrified to see me in that condition. He rushed me to the hospital. I had aborted. I stayed in the hospital for two days and came back home with saddened eyes. My parents tried to cheer me up, and my in-laws tried, but I went on falling into depression. Each day I would wonder what to do. I would cry the entire day, swelling my eyes and nose, looking like a joker. My hubby would cheer me up, but my smile would be fake.

One day I did not understand what to do. My negativity ruled over me, and I consumed a bottle filled with Dettol kept in the bathroom to commit suicide. It was so severe that it burnt my entire internal system. Thankfully, my hubby saw that the bottle was empty, and I was smelling Dettol and rushed me to the doctor. After flushing my tummy and treating me, the doctor advised my hubby to keep me busy. The empty mind was a devil’s workshop. It was after that my hubby asked me to search for a job and be engaged. Since teaching was a noble job, and I would be happy amidst children, he asked me to search for a teacher’s career.

It was not a fuss in those days as it is now to get a teacher's job. I was only a graduate. I had no final year degree even as I had come immediately after the exams. I was still given a chance in a school. They asked me to demonstrate before the class and a few experienced teachers. I was right in my studies from my childhood. I was good at expressing what was in my head. So, it was not difficult for me to give a demo. They selected me immediately.

I was happy. My mood was changing too. The first day of my teaching was overly exciting. I dressed up nicely and went early to school to prepare for the class. I did not even know which category I was to teach. I had to collect my timetable. I rushed to the school. The principal of the school was waiting for me. He was impressed by the way I taught. He called me to his office and said that there was a small issue. I looked at him with surprise. He said that he had planned to give me 6th and 7th standards, but there was an emergency and the teacher teaching chemistry and biology to 10th standard went on leave. He asked me whether I could tutor the children, and I was comfortable teaching those subjects. They were mine, and I was exceptionally good at them. I readily agreed. He was happy. He asked me to be strict with the children least they trouble me. I was hardly 21 years old then. I agreed with him and started planning all the strategies to control the children. I remembered my schooling and my teachers and how my teachers managed and planned accordingly.

The bell rang, and after 10 mins, my principal showed me the class I had to teach. I entered the room with a lot of self-confidence and courage. I pretended to be remarkably assured. My heart was pumping fast, and my adrenaline was rushing too. I felt as though I was a student who would face the exam for the first time. My principal introduced me to the class and went away. I looked around the class, and my heart sank. I expected small boys who could easily be controlled. In India, 10th boys are usually short and thin, and obedient. The boys in the gulf were huge. They were tall and healthy. I felt as though their one scream would be sufficient for me to fly off.

Every boy had a strong masculine voice. My nerves stood, and my eyes broadened. I sat on the chair and drank water while they started staring and laughing at me. I started sweating and decided that I could not handle it. I ran out of the class and stand on a bench placed outside the level. My hands and feet grew cold. My principal came out to inspect and saw me sitting. When my eyes met him, I thought he would place my termination in my hand. I looked with dismay at him. He smiled and said that the first time everybody experiences the same feeling. He took me to the class again and asked me to start the course while sitting in the last row. My strength increased. I started my class without looking at any boy. After the class, I felt as though I was out of a whirlpool. But then the boys came to me and told me that they loved the way I taught. I was incredibly good at conveying my knowledge. Their words filled my confidence again in me, and then I started my career as a teacher. I loved being with kids. Their mischiefs doubt everything filled my heart with joy.

           FIRST VISIT TO INDIA AFTER COMING TO DUBAI.

Days precipitated as if they were seconds. I was always busy. I had no time to think about anything unnecessary. My day was divided into school and housework. I spent nearly eight hours in school. When I reached home, I had cooking, which was still pathetic, cleaning, and praying. After a few days, a few students pleaded with me for tuition at home. When they insisted a lot, I started teaching at home too. Now I was so busy that my hubby would complain that even he had to make an appointment to meet me. The entire week just evaporated. The most awaited time of the week was Thursdays and Fridays. In those days, Thursdays and Fridays were weekends, unlike now. Nowadays, Fridays and Saturdays are the weekends.

Every weekend we spent some quality time together. We would go out, have dinner in some romantic place and spend the entire night enjoying ourselves. All these events turned weeks into days and days into minutes. I never thought that life would be so busy. In all these activities, I hardly realized a year had passed. It was July now. July, August, and September are vacation periods in UAE as it is scorching hot here. So, we planned to go to India as it was a holiday at the school. My hubby also got a holiday, and we called my parents and in-laws to tell them that we are planning to come on vacation. They were at the top of the world. Mom was so happy that she started marking in the calendar when I would reach.

I was equally excited. I made a list of all the people who are close to me. I went on printing the names, and the characters went on increasing. I hardly thought I had so many people so close to me. When I showed my hubby the never-ending list of near and dear ones for whom we had to take the gifts, he was furious. He said that we should cancel our trip because it would cost him more than the money he earned and saved. I pleaded that this was the first time and I had to buy gifts for all, but he was fuming with anger. He reminded me that we had to carry just the limited amount of luggage, or I had to pay as I had paid before. I remembered then that it was not easy to go. I somehow persuaded him to some gifts. He agreed to it, still sulking over my nonsense demands. When we packed things, again, it was more than the allowed baggage. I had to remove a lot of things to compensate for the gifts in their place.

Ultimately the day to travel came. I was so happy that I forgot about having my lunch and went to the airport. My enthusiasm was so high that I did not even remember whether I had locked the house or not. My hubby was very cooperative in doing all these minute works. When we reached the airport, a strange feeling engulfed me. Numerous butterflies started flying, tickling my tummy. After a while, rats also started running into my belly. It was then I realized that I had not eaten anything since morning. My stomach had so many cramps that it started showing on my face. My hubby stared at me and asked what the matter was. I told him that I was not well. He knew I had not eaten. He bought a burger for me and asked me to eat it, and gave me a tablet. I was probably eating on an empty stomach created gas, and I started feeling the urge to use the washroom. I was so sick that I had to visit the clinic and get treated. My hubby was upset at my childish actions. I prayed to God that I reached India safely.

Anyway, I reached Bengaluru airport. My ears were dancing with joy listening to the people speaking the language I knew. I felt as though I came back after the banishment. I smiled at everybody, a smile which meant that all of them were mine. After collecting all the baggage, as I went out, my eyes frantically searched for my parents. The same was the condition of my parents. My dad saw me first. He was so happy that he did not notice the police and the security area and rushed to hug me. The officer ran behind him with the stick. I ran to him, leaving all the luggage in the trolley, and hugged him. We embraced each other for so long that the police had to come and ask us to move. My mom was in tears. She kissed me so much as though I was born then. My sister entered in between, demanding her share of hugging me. Then started the list of relatives. I felt as though half of the airport was filled with our relatives and friends. Dad had again hired a minibus to bring all of them to the airport.

When we finally started moving to the house, I sat in the window seat. I was thrilled to see people roaming, animals blocking the way, and potholes making us jump now and then. I felt like I came back to my routine; all these days, I was dreaming. When I reached home, my friends and relatives were more interested in the bags I had brought. Immediately I opened the bag, handing over the gifts I got. I had packed so many. After I distributed, I felt what had I brought? Was it only that much? But the happiness on the face of people and the satisfaction I felt was worth it. The best thing was people started inviting us to the party the next day itself. Every day there was a party. I enjoyed each day of my vacation. One month passed very quickly, and my hubby returned. I stayed back for another month and traveled after two full months.

 

         STAY IN FIVE STAR HOTEL FOR THE FIRST TIME.

The day I returned from India, my hubby came to pick me from the airport. As usual, he was delighted to see me. He dumped my luggage in the car and started towards our home in Al Ain. We had our dinner and moved ahead. I found out that the route he was taking was different. I enquired, and he said that he had a surprise for me. He took me to a five-star hotel and said that we would stay in the hotel for a night. He said that I would be tired of traveling from Bengaluru to Dubai and then to Al Ain. I was spellbound. It was the first time I stayed in a five-star hotel. We checked in. The clean big cold room on the 11th floor made me nostalgic.

I ran into the room as he had ordered a cake with WELCOME written on it. I did not know that he was so romantic. I felt like some princess who came to meet her prince. I ran to the window to see all the cars as tiny as ants. From the top, it looked so minute. I felt overwhelmed. I cut the cake, and it was my favorite, red velvet cake. I ate it all. He stared at me with a smile on his face. After I had, I told him that I was thirsty now. He had stored fresh fruit juice in the fridge. I did not know that there was a fridge hidden there. I saw that it was filled with Red bull, cokes, and other drinks with nut packets. I wondered why he had bought so many things. Anyway, I drank water and juice, and the whole night went in a splash literally in his arms. It was so cold that I had to stay in his arms for warmth.

The next morning, I got up early in the morning and took a tour of the entire hotel. He had booked the room with breakfast, so we enjoyed a heavy king-size breakfast. I visited the swimming area and enjoyed the people swimming there. I did not swim myself, though. Finally, it was time for us to check out. My hubby went down to settle the account and asked me to pack up everything. I agreed and started packing. Bell boy came, and I came down to the counter. When he did the billing, they charged us Dhs. 300 more. My hubby was astounded. He asked why they had charged us more.

We were told that we had emptied the fridge and the items in it cost so much. My hubby looked at me. I told him that I thought that he bought it. He gave an angry look and said that they were from the hotel. He said that those items outside the hotel cost just Dhs.50. I was ashamed. I told him that I would go and place it back, but he said that it would look cheap if I did so. I shut my mouth and learned that all these things are kept in the fridge by the hotel. To date, he teases me not to take anything from the hotel and bring. I drank even the last drop of the drinks I had brought, fearing it to be costly.

              FIRST EXPERIENCE ON THE STAGE.

After coming back to Al Ain, life started as before. I joined the school. I was thrilled to meet my kids. It was the second term of school. It is in this term that all the extracurricular activities take place. School’s Annual day was fixed, and the entire school was in high spirits. Students were busy preparing for the function. The teacher who oversaw the stage and compering had to on leave for an emergency. Now there aroused the problem of compering. The principal wanted to see my skill of being an orator. The principal did not immediately talk about leading the school on Annual Function; instead, I was asked to give a small speech before the school. I thought that it was not a noticeably big deal. I instructed the students, and they were afraid of me. So, speaking like every day was not a big deal. I taught in an international school. The topic given to me was global warming. I prepared well.

I still remember the date when I had to speak. It was on November 14th. As I started home, I recalled the date and smiled that it was children’s day. I went to school with full confidence. After the initial prayers, I was invited on stage to speak. I went with a smile on the scene, but as soon as I saw the entire school in front of me, I got nervous. My smile faded, and my adrenaline rushed with speed to blank everything out. All the senior staff members, teachers, and students started looking like the crawlies crawling on me. I looked at everyone and went dumb. With great difficulty, I started speaking, but I forgot my speech. I tried hard to remember, but my head was blank. I said something, and I do not even remember what I spoke. What I heard next was the claps of my friend, and after her, the entire school clapped. When I went down, I took a while to relax. When I chilled down, I asked my friend how I spoke. She laughed and said that it was not merely wrong but pathetic. She said that I started talking about global warming and then switched to Nehru’s birthday. All were amazed. If she had not clapped, I would go to some other topic. She laughed loudly along with her. that day, I understood how difficult it was to speak on stage. Things might seem facile unless we do not face them. The grass is always greener on the other side.

Gradually I gained the courage to speak on the stage. I was good on the stage on the Annual day.

                            MY FIRST IVF.

Life teaches us a lot of lessons at different points in time. We never expect such events, but we must face them. The paradox of life is it first places an exam before us and then teaches us the lesson. Anyway, life proceeded with a lot of fun and happiness. Each day something was inspiring to face. I hardly realized that ten years of my married life had passed with all this excitement and thrill. I felt as though just ten days had passed. When we are happy, time evaporates. I had forgotten that ten years had passed without any complaints and tensions. I might have forgotten, but society never failed. With passing time, people started reminding us that we had spent ten years without kids. We were issueless. Unfortunately, we live in a society where people bother less about themselves and more about others. People started haunting us that days were passing, and I was getting old, and I had to conceive now, or it would become problematic later. Many raised questions what was wrong with me? Many asked whose fault was it?

I heard many saying that we were earning so much for whose sake. All these questions started haunting me. I started thinking about the purpose of marriage. Do we marry just for kids? Is not marriage meant for two people to live happily and lead a meaningful life? One of my hubby’s friend's worst blow was asking him to marry another lady for kids. That day when I heard it, I wept for a long time. Life started showing its colors now. I had started growing in life. With the tortures rotating around me, we did many treatments, but they did not yield results. When many of our efforts failed, we decided to undergo IVF (in vitro fertility). My parents were adamant that we experience in India. They did not want to face all the trouble and pain all alone in the UAE. Finally, we decided to undergo the process in India. Before going, I tried my level best and reduced a lot of weight because I did not want any stone unturned. I resigned from my duty and proceeded to India for the IVF.

All the tests were conducted, and everything was normal. My mom never left my side during this process. I had to take many powerful injections before the actual procedure. It swelled my thigh with unbearable pain. Every day my blood would be extracted for one or the other test. My mom would secretly cry over my pain. I acted too bold before everybody but would sob uncontrollably in washrooms. I would calm myself, saying that all this was worth bearing if I had a kid. Finally, my embryo was inserted into my womb. My heartbeat increased so much that I cannot explain. The doctors advised bed rest for 45 days. The doctors said that I was excellent, and I responded very well. They said that there were chances of me having twins.

I was enthralled. Every night I dreamt of twins. I was on a diet even. My mom was so particular that she would give me non-spicy food. All non-veg was prohibited. She was overly cautious that I never got up from the bed. If I did not oppose, she would give me a bedpan, but I revolted and said that I should walk to the bathroom. I was not allowed to bathe alone, and that too, I had to take a bath once a week. Though these are not the instructions of the doctor, my mom was my most prominent doctor. Sleeping for long hours in bed hurt my back a lot. I started putting up weight again. I endeavored all the pain just with the thought of having twins. I used to imagine that the first thing I would do when I had the baby in my hands was to beat it for troubling me so much. I would laugh at my thoughts. Everybody who loved me had the dream of twins in their eyes.

After 45 days, I was called to test for pregnancy. Forty-four days had passed. The next day I had to go for the testing. I was so excited that words cannot express it. My heart pumped blood at double speed. It was like my result would be out after I wrote the exams. No comments can explain that feeling, and I could not sleep the whole night. I went on turning sides. My mom was equally tensed. Whenever I turned and looked at her, she gave me a vague smile. She told me that everything would be good, and I would succeed. All my pain and patience would pay. No word of console ever calmed me down. Finally, the sun rose to bring me the news of my destiny. Early in the morning, my mom dressed me up. She was so excited that she wore a different blouse for the other saree. My dad never showed, but he was more nervous than us. He returned exceptionally late from the mosque, and I knew that he sat there praying for me. We were supposed to go to the hospital by 11 am, but we started early, saying that my brother had to drive slow. With immense enthusiasm, we reached the hospital. I was given a bottle to collect my urine. I felt my heart would come out of my body. It was beating so fast. I think people next to me could hear it. I held my mom tight, and she accompanied me to the washroom. I gave the sample. Doctors said that they would call me in 10 mins. Each second seemed a lifetime to me. With great difficulty, 10 mins passed.

My eyes never moved from the clock. I tried to divert my attention, but I failed. 30 mins passed, and still, no one called me. I was worried. Finally, the doctor summoned me and said that whatever transpires occurs for good. Her words did not make sense to me. I asked her directly what the result was. She said it was NEGATIVE. I saw the entire world spinning before my eyes, and all my dreams shattered. I was blank. I do not know how my nose started bleeding profusely, and I did not notice even it. The doctor rushed to my rescue and asked me to control it.

I smiled at her, saying I am okay. My mom was in tears, and it was like she had failed too. My whole family was shaken. My hubby was in Dubai. I started imagining what he would think. I was surprised that not a single tear rolled down my cheeks. With a lot of guts, I called my hubby. He was waiting eagerly for the news. I thought that he would be upset and bang the phone in my face. But to my surprise, he was cool. He asked me whether I was okay. I replied, yes. He said that it was fine. We tried, and we failed. Where is it written that all that we try must succeed? He said that we could try again next time if we were healthy. He said what matters to him was that I was healthy. His every word moved my heart, and I started crying like crazy. He asked me to remain calm and give courage to my parents. The world did not end there. I looked at mom and told her to be happy. Her child was okay. She smiled blissfully.

The entire house was drowned in melancholy. Evening my in-laws came to meet me. My mom-in-law entered the house, and my heart started pumping fast again. I did not know how she would react. She came to me and sat. she said that I was a powerful girl who underwent pain and torture. She said that she loved me for that. It was fine. Sometimes things will not turn the way we like. Each word of hers increased my love and respect for her. In the evening, she sat with her sister, and she said, “I can't see tears in her eyes. Poor baby, she underwent so much pain. I wish my husband were alive. I would become pregnant and give my baby to her.” I overheard it and started laughing like crazy. She said that she was happy that I laughed at least.

That night I thought that I was so lucky to have so many good people around me. How many women are so fortunate? Though society was against me, my family never left me. They did not abandon me. I thanked God for such a lovely family and a good fate. It is not possible to have everything in life. Probably as compensation for the kid, God blessed me with a beautiful family. Probably my IVF failed so that I could understand how fortunate I am to have so many supportive people around me. I prayed that all the women find the right family like mine and let God never trouble any woman for the kid.

  

          FIRST ACCIDENT WHILE DRIVING.

I came back to the UAE after another month of rest after my IVF. I had already resigned from my teacher’s job. So, I started sulking while sitting at home. I had stayed back home for five months. It was midterm, so I could not join the school even. I was again feeling depressed. So, to keep me busy, my hubby suggested that I apply for my driving license. I agreed with him. It is not at all easy to get a permit in UAE. It took nearly three years for my hubby to get the card. I knew nothing about cars. I did not even know to start the vehicle. I had first to write a written exam about the rules, which I passed on my first attempt. Next was the parking test, which I passed on the second attempt. As I was right on the road, I passed the road test without effort and got my license in six months. It was a moment of triumph for me, and my hubby was proud of me. My happiness knew no bounds.

I teased my hubby that I was better a driver than him because I got the license before him. He was so happy that he bought me a new car. I was thrilled to drive the vehicle from the showroom to my house. It was a Nissan Tiida. My hubby asked me to be overly cautious and operate with full concentration. I agreed. I knew my weakness. I was good on the road, I drove carefully, but I was not confident in parking the car. I was weak in reverse too. It was like moving a mountain to me. I always wished to move the car by my hand, place it on the road, and drive. I never showed my weakness to my hubby.

One fine day, I went to a mall for shopping. I searched for a parking space that was isolated from the busy area and parked my car there with the hope of removing it quickly. I went in for shopping. When I came back, my eyes popped out, seeing that all the parking was jam-packed. I did not understand what to do. With great courage, I went to my car. I noticed that I had not parked it straight. I did not know how to remove it with ease. Anyway, I sat in my vehicle. Slowly I applied reverse gear. I accelerated slowly. Car moved. After a while, I stopped moving.

I accelerated more, but it did not budge. I applied forward gear and moved ahead a bit. Then again, I used reverse gear and moved back. It moved, affirming that there was no problem in the car. I was happy. After a while again, it rubbed somewhere and stopped. This time I was frustrated and applied more speed. No, it did not move. A man got down from the car next to mine and stared angrily at me. I went forward and stopped my car. He asked me to come out. With a fright in my heart, I came out of my car. He shrieked, saying, “Did not you understand the first time that you were rubbing against my car. You are repeatedly rubbing. How did you get the license? Did you wink at the policeman for it?” He was so enraged that I just stared at him. He said that if he called the police for the accident I did, it would take a long time, and he had no time. He was in a hurry. I had to empty my entire purse to pay for the accident I did. He removed my car from the parking and asked me to drive home safely. I laughed at my folly.

Honestly, to date, I am petrified of taking the car in reverse, and I avoid taking my car out of parking. I ask my hubby to get it from the parking.

Life is nothing but a collection of all these good and bad memories. The happiness it gives makes us desire to live more, and the sad moments teach us patience to lead life. But life is worth living. We live just once; it should be enjoyed and nourished. I have always appreciated each first experience of my life. Though few were sweet, and few were bitter, all these have added spice to my life. With all these experiences, life is just moving ahead. When I underwent all these events, I might have been in great tension, but I always have a broad smile and happiness when I think about them now. Life is nothing but the collection of all these events. All these teach us some essential lessons to lead a profound and secure life. There will be many more first experiences in my life because life has not ended yet. Till the most significant and final death experience comes, many more first experiences are awaiting me. I know.

 …………….NOOR TABASSUM………………..