Beauty Beyond Skin Color

The words cut through Sudha’s soul like a sharp knife that cuts through the flesh. She did not know what hit her, It was her uncle, who was nonchalantly passing comments like a seasoned judge passing a verdict.” Bhabhi, next time you buy clothes for your daughters keep in mind the dark complexion of your elder daughter. You seem to always have in mind your younger one who is very fair. Choose some pastel coolers if you wish to bring the same cloth for both of them or bring totally different cloth for each one according to their skin color and complexion.” It was Sudha’s skin tone and color being discussed casually, unmindful of the damage that was being done to her feelings. She strongly wanted to retort but her upbringing would not let her do that. Why even her mother, Sunita would not stoop to that level. Moreover, in many respectable families, men get away with indulging in such insensitive behavior!

It hurt Sudha deeply and the wounds such comments caused to her young mind were very deep and were not easy to tolerate. Like every girl, she also wished that she was considered good-looking and attractive. Here it was her own uncle, father’s youngest brother making mockery out of the small girl's feelings and self-confidence. 

This was one of the frequently repeated topics in the family, especially when ever there was a social function or festival where brothers and sisters and their children would come together. Most of the members in that big family of five brothers and five sisters and their children were extremely fair. In particular fair complexioned girls were considered to be beautiful. It was also perceived that marrying off a fair skinned girl was much easier, and she would have better prospects. Sudha’s younger sister Radha was very fair and chubby and also very attractive. But, as Sudha’s aunts would slowly discuss amongst themselves,” What if Sudha is few shades darker than her sister and her cousins. Look her features are so sharp and chiseled out, making her look very attractive.” Well Sudha would not take their words very seriously and thought that they were only trying to console her. She was always compared with two of her cousins, Lakshmi and Rani who were of the same age group.

Sometimes her uncle would show false sympathetic approach and would say, ’Bhabhi, it is really going to be difficult to get this girl married off’” and other times he would ruthlessly ridicule at Sudha’s expense and say,” By any chance was there a mix up at the time of birth? With some one else's child?”. The more Sudha was ridiculed and criticized, more introvert she became. Luckily for her, in those days there were not many distractions, not even television to divert her attention. She got diverted and distracted by education, rather, she took refuge in the books. Inherently intelligent girl, she did extremely well in studies. She stood out amongst children of all age groups in that family and slowly she was recognized and appreciated for her academic excellence. As such education of girls was not a priority in the family and other girls were lagging behind.

By the time Sudha finished her graduation, she had an image of Her’s permanently fixed in her mind. It was of a dark, unattractive and skinny girl! In reality she was by no means unattractive or ugly. Her self-esteem and self-confidence were beaten and so low that she was unable to identity and acknowledge the good aspects of her looks. While what was lacking was highlighted by others and as well as herself, her attractive features were simply ignored. She was very slim and tall girl with long thick hair and wheatish complexion. Her ignorance about her looks and Her intellect or brilliance gave her a glow and an aura that was impossible to miss.

When one of her classmates complimented her saying” Your eyes are so sharp with magnetic pull in them that one cannot turn away from them,” it was not easy for Sudha to accept it, she had a doubt that her friend was pulling her leg. But then she realized that when your own family can be critical of your looks, why will an outsider try to please her? May be there is an element of truth in what she said.

Soon after completing graduation in first class, Sudha landed up with four job offers, three with the government organizations and one with a nationalized bank. She chose the best one. Her cousins Lakshmi and Rani were struck at class 12th and alternative option was getting married and which they did. Lakshmi’s husband was not well placed, and they had hand to mouth existence, if she was qualified, she could have helped her husband. Rani’s husband’s business ran into problems and could not recover and had she been qualified; she could have supported her husband’s business. Sudha also married but only after working for about three years. She selected a life partner at her terms and they both had a self-sustained and self-reliant and lovable family.

After she started working and even after her marriage, Sudha receives compliments for her attractive looks, elegant, dignified and charismatic personality and every time she is taken aback thinking that they were ridiculing her! It took her quite some time to understand and accept that they were genuine compliments.

Sudha’s story could be common in our households but her response to the insults had been unique. Her story also highlights the importance of educating the girl child. It is like a jewel that no thief can steal, it is like a weapon to fight against the perpetrators of injustice and in equality. Fair complexion is only a small part of looks. The intrinsic character, humility, dignity, confidence and elegance, which are part of innate qualities of a person and get reflected on the face make one attractive. Such a woman or a girl is all empowered and can win over peoples’ hearts.