Lost Mine.

While I was making breakfast this morning, I realized that I have leftover lasagne from last night. Amrita loved lasagne. That’s why even after 8 months of us breaking up, I always end up making enough lasagne for two people. I always thought of it as a “one sided break up” as I was still at the same spot that she left me in. I was in the lift when something hit me and I stopped the lift instantly. I had forgotten my lighter. It wasn’t just any lighter. It was a gift from Amrita. I don’t like receiving gifts for a simple fact that I have to pretend I like the gift in front of the person. But this was a special gift and it had become more significant in the recent months as I had turned pro in smoking. So I went back to my apartment to pick it up before going to work. Rishabh, Ishant and I had been friends since college. Our workplaces are nearby so we meet everyday for lunch and sometimes after work. Today was friday which meant going to our local bar and getting drunk. The only difference was that I hadn’t joined the boys for a drink in so long that I have forgotten the last time we had a good old-fashioned drunk. I had told them that I am trying to quit which isn’t true. I just prefer getting drunk alone. Perhaps I am too afraid that all my sorrow will come out and I’d end up weeping in front of my best friends. But every friday at lunchtime, both of them ask me to join them and today was no different. However, today they gave me an alternative of not joining them for drinks but only to have dinner. My mates had checked me. But I quickly blocked my king by telling them about last night’s lasagne. After work, I went home to have those drinks alone. In the past few months, I had made a habit of drinking after dinner as I had heard it helps in digestion and also because it helps me get asleep. After I paid the driver for the ride , I decided to have a smoke but couldn’t find my lighter. It must have slipped out of my pocket while I was in the auto-rickshaw. Dumbed, I stood there for a minute and then went home. At home when I took the lasagne out of the fridge, I realized I didn’t want to eat it. And come to think of it I hadn’t enjoyed eating it for a long time. This realization led me to dump it in the bin and go back out. And so I went to meet the boys at our local bar. They were sitting at our usual spot when I joined them with a cigarette in my mouth and asked “Got a light bud? I think I lost mine