The King of My Teenage Heart

Every once a while we hear incidents of Rapes in various parts of the world. It has been a hot topic in the news lately, however other than rapes there are lot of other crimes committed against children on a regular basis. The worst of all are Pedophiles, Sadists, Paraphilia and specifically those who suffer from Masochism. This story is my take on a child's view where he tries to explain to his abuser what was done to him was wrong.

My Dear Uncle,

 

It always excites and surprises me to wonder and write about your greatness. Your survival spirit is much stronger than that of the adult male lions, who would kill the cubs of the previous leader, as soon as they take over the pride. They do that to show power as well as to maximize their mating opportunities. 

 

Our great history has few gems like you and you glitter the torn pages with your presence. But these past days, your footprints became clearer and shone like stars.

 

Our history is full of stories about kings and queens, who would go to any extent to make sure their children can be the rulers even if that meant destroying the lives of other children who were the rightful heirs to the throne of the land. 

 

If anybody asks me what the difference between you and them is, I would not have any answer. Except for the way you loved and cared for me the years I grew up with you. You always made me wonder if hell would have been a better abode for me. I guess you might be satisfied with the regular torture and dishonour you bestowed upon me, to prove to me that you were the better human being. Just for your few hours of satisfaction and a misguided sense of wedding. That's fine, at least it's free. You love to dip your beak no matter how many corns you pick.

 

The world is moving forward. Society is progressing too. During this fast-paced modernization, nobody makes any attempt or gives a forethought to preserving the past. You stepped forward and took this heavy burden on your shoulder and you marvelled. I guess if Ravana would have met you he would have been proud of your existence. 

 

When I was born, dad told me that you are his best friend and I could always look up to you in case something happened to him. I guess he was right. I remember the day when you heard the news of the accident, you came to me and asked if I wished to live with you and I happily agreed, you would not believe how happy I was. Your children welcomed me with open arms, and they were happy to welcome a new member into their family. I can never forget the day you came home and told me that you have decided to name me Elena and that officially I would be your child. You had in your hands my birth certificate and a passport. I was grateful to you for giving me a new life.

 

Your pusillanimity touched my heart. You always wanted me to live for you and your family's pleasure only, never for mine. I would always wonder why you never stood up to your son and daughter whenever they were mad at me and repeatedly hurt me. However, as I grew up I understood that it was not cowardice but your selfish intention. Your sadistic smile indicated what you always wanted. 

 

Your omnipresence glamorizes your potential of destruction. You and your family have become the kings of my teenage heart. Where is my existence in this world? O' almighty king of fear.

 

You must have felt really great when I was made to listen to every word you said, do everything you wanted me to do. I really feel pity for the devil who survives on the fears of the weak. If he would have met you, he would have definitely agreed to some of your innovative ideas and would have proudly shared his throne with you. 

 

Days passed by and one day you found out that I was in love with someone you truly cared for. Was it really that bad falling in love with the person you loved, that you felt your self-respect was hurt? You locked me up in a room, turned me into something else, and just for fun, starved me for 3 days. Was I such a bad apple that you felt starving would discipline me, worst of all, you also wanted me to call your children dada and didi even when they were 6 years younger to me. But I happily agreed to all these just to make you happy.

 

I sacrificed my happiness for you, but you were such a cheapskate that you felt that my playing football would make your son ashamed for what he truly is. You made me quit school so that I remained functionally illiterate. I still feel embarrassed and discomfitted thinking about the day the 4 of you caught hold of me and lit all my clothes on fire and asked me to wear my sisters spare clothes and just to make sure that I did not disobey you and go for the selection, you stamped my right ankle with your boots. I had to walk around in a cast for the month. Your jealousy towards me led me to use a brace for the next few years. I just hope you were happy to know that your efforts made sure that I was not selected for the under 15 football team.

 

It's true to believe you are one of the best weapons created by politics. Your little cracker is much more effective than the atom bomb. Sorry to mention about your cracker. But the single cracker and two small bombs will definitely stop the third world war. It's just the preparation. From Nanking to Congo, Chechnya to Iraq you and your crackers were the mortars. You are the reason to start the revolutions. Where military force ends, your force starts and conquers the rest. I appreciate your teamwork. I remember the night when Aunty and my so-called cousins were on a holiday and I was left in your mercy, you and your 4 friends enjoyed the pleasure of my company. Those 2 days, the 5 of you really proved to me how an adult male is stronger physically, but mentally and ethically so much weaker. Your team effort broke my teenage spirit. Patrick O'Neal Kennedy did that alone and died by the electric chair. You did it in a group and continued your inspiring campaign. I love the spirit of sharing you displayed with your buddies. Your game should be included as part of a team-building session. Gang molestation is a jaw-breaking example of team building. 

 

I applaud the greatness of your mindset in trying to direct your best efforts towards stopping westernization. You oppose your daughter's miniskirt when she leaves home alone, thinking that someone would teach them a proper lesson. You fear religion will condemn her vigorously if someone hurts her. But I wonder where was this great fear when you and your friends took turns at me. I pleaded to the 5 of you not to destroy my modesty, but you were so intoxicated that you didn't even realize what blasphemy you were performing. 

 

I don't blame you for what you have done. It is a definite fact that If the flower doesn't hide the pollen then bees will come and steal. You re-established the fact by sitting on the uncovered food as fly and vomit. 

 

I guess this has become a part of my life. It has been 2 years now, since the fateful incident, my back still hurts and I get nightmares. I still see the horrific faces of the five of you whenever I try to sleep. You have made my life a living hell. 

 

Every once in a while, I hear you talking about women empowerment and child abuse and how disgraceful it is. You keep debating with your children how they should treat others well, but do you really mean it, well it's a different thing.

I hope you remember the night of my birthday, when you called all my classmates and they bullied me. He and his friends secured my arms with my dupatta, tore off my skirt and chased me around with balloons filled with water.

I was helplessly trying to escape from them as they took pleasure in drenching me wet by throwing the balloons at me. I had a lot of bruises in my face and legs and you were least bothered to take care of them. All you cared about was your reputation in front of others and what would neighbors say if they come to know about my existence. 

 

Child abuse laws are pure bullshit. Grasses also flower, though they are muddled under the boot. To produce the beautiful flower the grass needs to be shaped regularly, otherwise, they will grow like bamboo.

 

No one thought about the beautiful kid's meat before you. It is said that to make the pickle, you have to stop the fruit from being ripe and become sweeter. Ripe mangoes are used only as a fruit but from the dried mango, you can do lo-o-o-o-t of things. 

 

Your kids got the chance to play with you one of the best games in the world. How lucky they were. Rather than giving them worthless bookish education on how child abuse is bad, you teach it to them practically by regularly making them abuse me and hurt my self-esteem. You keep asserting to them that people like me don't have any rights, so using us as their slaves is perfectly fine. Surprisingly growing up with you made me forget what self-esteem really means. I think that's very beneficial. A stray child is really a burden of society. A fruitless investment. You solve the problem by turning me into your personal guinea pig. Pouch pack, easy to burn. Optimization of resources. 

 

I am really proud of you how you treat stray's like us equally. We may be ugly, untouchable, dirty, or rejected by others, you accept them open heartedly. I can never thank you enough for the day you took me to the sanatorium where you introduced me to the surgeon who made me believe that my body is deformed and that I would need a few surgeries to make my deformed body look beautiful. I remember the first surgery I had when I was only 11 years old and over the next 3 years, the surgeon worked like a sculptor on me and transformed my body into your most beautiful masterpiece ever.

 

I felt like an angel. At last the day came for the final stage of my transformation. I was really excited to discover the outcome of it. The surgeon informed me that it is known as orchiectomy. I didn't know what that meant but after the surgery, I came to know it had something to do with an unwanted organ below my waist. It took a month for the stitches to heal up and for the first time in 5 years, you were sitting worried beside me and took care of me. You made sure I didn't force myself down from my bed lest my stitches came off. Doctors had also attached a bag from my waist which cleared the unwanted fluid off my body. I didn't have to get off my bed even for the loo. O' dear those were few of the best days of my life.

 

When I reached back home, everyone happily greeted me. I know you told everyone in the family that they needed to stop hurting me from that day and start considering me as one of the family members. I should be treated well and they should respect me as a goddess. It was probably a surprise for me too. 

 

After coming back from the hospital, I found a part of my body has gone missing. My own body has become a stranger to me. I wanted to pee and stepped into the loo. As I was about to pee I found what was missing, my male genital organ is gone. I cannot stand and pee anymore. I was too ashamed to tell anyone about it. Especially my brother who would make fun of me. With you, it's a different thing altogether. I still remember when I asked you about it, the answer was something I didn't expect.

 

You told me that I was your lucky charm and raising a transvestite in the family is a sign of good luck. You told me your business was not running well, and so your friend told you that if you are blessed by a transvestite, all the negative energy would be gone and since no transvestite in their right mind would bless you, you thought that maybe you can make me live in your house as a girl, and when you felt that even though I was dressing up as a girl, in my heart and body I was still a boy which was the reason your luck never changed, you had this wonderful idea to transform my body into a girl which would mean that you will be raising a transvestite and your luck would change. 

 

After what you turned me into, I admire your guts to step up and expect me to bless you and take away all your bad luck. You can torture me or take care of me as much as you want but you cannot deprive me of my rights. If what you told me was true, I would have blessed you before you turned me into a woman. You destroyed my beautiful body to satisfy your selfish and delusional purpose of earning a better life. You understood that fact and helped me get the taste of being blessed both as a man and a woman in the short span of a single life. 

 

Instead of me blessing you, it was you who blessed me with a very great life. You made a beautiful boy into a lady and gave me a taste of the life of Riley. You made my future. You broke the social torturous rule and made me a brave soul today. Your great deed made me self-sufficient. I salute the way you uplifted the blind faiths of the world. Oh, great heart, the great preacher of power, autogynephilia, selfless, self-motivated, sleepless deity, why didn't you start your great charity at home? Why did you not allow your son to be part of this great screenplay? Why did you not begin your great movement with him? 

 

I am sorry uncle, I couldn't pick up the courage to accept what you have turned me into. I know dad didn't give birth to me to be something else. I forgive you for what you did to me and will ask the Lord Ganesha to bless you and your family with a better life so that you don't ruin another kid's life. Without another thought, I went to the balcony and jumped. As I was crashing down from the 21st floor of the house, I felt like a free bird flying though the stupendous sky. The 10-second flight was like the smell of freedom. With a thud, my body landed on the soft hood of your car.

 

It felt like my astral spirit was trying to detach itself from my earthly body which I had loved so much until you destroyed it. Suddenly I saw a lady coming down from the heavens accompanied by a well-built man with a peaceful countenance. The man forwarded his hands towards me and urged me to let go of my earthly bond as it was time for me to go and meet my parents who have been anxiously waiting for me for a very long time. I was in a lot of pain and as the red liquid began to drain from my tattered skin to the top of your car, it felt I was torturing my earthly body with the unendurable pain and stretched my hands towards him. 

 

The man caught hold of me and picked me up in his arms. He told me that I don't have to worry about anything anymore and that my time of misery is over. I am going to stay with my parents and I don't need to return back to this frightful place anymore. As he was taking me away, I saw a huge crowd has gathered around my body and was looking at my torn dress and once beautiful bloody body and uncle was desperately trying to explain everyone who I was and how I fell. 

 

You know uncle, that lady told me that very soon you will be here too, but you will have certain restrictions. They have arranged a special place for you to stay which I am not allowed to visit. She told me that once you are here, they will take me to see you once. She also knows that you are going to regret your decision, but she wants you to know if you spill the milk on the floor, you will not be able to pour it back into the pan.

 

You know uncle I am very happy today, I am living with my Mama and Papa. I should thank you for what you turned me into that day 'coz if you would not have done that, I would never have had the courage to be reunited with my family. 

 

You know today I met a bearded man who everyone says is the wisest man here. He told me that he has heard about me and wanted to meet the brave soul in person. As I met him, I asked him the question. "Why was your son not made strong enough to be the part of your holy chariot? Why was my tender skin so untouchable to your hardness? Why did you not give the taste of many males together to your own son? Why this torture on me only? Why did you fail to preserve me? Maybe he was not good food but he was your food. Please let him be part of your journey. Why was this discrimination against me? 

 

He looked sad and with a heartbroken melancholy replied, Son I have created every human with the sole intent to be the embodiments of perfection. I have given them every tool to lead a peaceful life, but in due time he forgets about my gifts and starts believing and doing things which Gods like me are ashamed of too.

 

Dear uncle, I am requesting you on behalf of all the crying hearts. We are also children of someone. Just like your kids, why could you not consider us as one of yours. The day we are happy and spread the smiles of happiness on this great earth, you will not need to destroy a life to be blessed with good luck. Our happiness would bring good luck to you and your family too. I hope you understood what I am implying at and maybe you try to become a better man of whom your children can be proud of.

 

Thanks a lot.....

 

Your sweet Nephew or Niece,

(whatever you like to call me)