That's Not All

THAT’S NOT ALL

1. THE UNEXPECTED

It was raining today like anything. It’s been 18 hours of this rain at a stretch. Everything was wet and slimy. Even the hard core lover of rain would hate it.

The rush was less today. After completing all his file works, he headed back to his apartment without saying a single word to his colleagues as usual . Again, if any work was left which never happened for record, no one knew that he was already out of the building.

The road was extra silent today. Usually this silence is what he loves, but today it was eating him up. It was poking him deep, was tearing him apart.

Expecting some news, he turned the radio on. But as it is said, when you are running from something, life brings it before you a

thousand times. The same happened. The RJ leaving every possible song in the universe played the “Citylights” hit. He pulled the brakes, his hands tightened on steering, his breathe stopped. That was her favourite song, which she sang for him on their special day. She was still smiling at him, sitting beside him and he got down from his car. But the time had already decided to kill him today at any cost.

Outside it was raining, again something she loved with all her heart. “These drops seem like god is showering pearls from the sky. Don’t you think?” And she’ll never let you answer, like the rain acts as redbull to her. “You know it feels like all your problems and negative energy gets washed away with this rain. That’s why this season is made only. ” She could talk for hours together on rain , actually on any topic she could… “Miss Badbad” and a smile came on his face.

But that moment got crashed shortly by a honk of a car behind him telling him to get aside. Was this needed to happen today only? He kicked hard on his car’s tyre hurting his own leg, and sat down on the road trying to believe her words of rain being the washer of pain.

He sat there for hours and finally got up after sneezing a couple of times. “Achchcu”. “See, you caught cold, that’s why I tell u not to get drenched in rain. It is for strong people like me not for sweet people like you.” And her laughter on her latest self estimation echoed in that silence. He moved forward to get hold of his “Miss badbad” but…….there was no one, nothing except her memories.

Today was her birthday. She wanted him to make her every birthday special. He would have done that too if she would have given him the chance. He wanted to make their every day special. But as it is said you don’t get everything you want in life.

He got back into his car, turned the radio off and drove back to his flat. An apartment in a eight storied building with a single bedroom hall and kitchen which was far more than what he needed. He put his keys on rack and sat down to do what he is not that good at- expressing himself….

That was her favourite diary where she wrote all she felt. It had all her good and bad times and now will have all his too. He started and it all flowed down..

……………………………..

“He asked her, if she was ok? She said, " yes I'm fine." He looked into her eyes, And clearly caught her lie. She quickly turned away & tried hard to smile. "U don't have to hold those tears, When I'm by your side" "It's not needed to always be strong It's allowed for a moment to be weak. Are you searching for the right words? I can hear you even if you don't speak" Open your heart Don't fake a smile on face With me, just be you, my friend Trust me this is your safe place

With moist eyes she just gave a smile...”

………………………………….

That’s what he’s been doing in his leisure time which itself is a rare situation. Diving deep in the past and penning down his tears. He was not a writer since ever , nor he intended even once to walk on this path. But as it is said time is the most powerful weapon which can give you the deepest wounds. Each time he had time , the time starts betraying him. Going against it’s nature, it just stops. He had no idea, how? And every second of the memories he’s been carrying used to prop up with all intensions to kill a part of him again. The tears were all ready to drop down as always, his breath were prepared to chock him up, the oxygen concentration in the room suddenly seemed to drop to zero. He was getting the attack again and ……….

"Thak thak"……………

His mirage broke and he came back to the real world. Someone was at the door. He dropped his pen and got up from his chair. He was numb. It was getting hard for him to walk even to the door which was mere a few steps away. He was so lost in his thoughts that all his reflexes slowed down. He collected himself and started moving almost blank towards the knock. He got to the door thinking that who might be there at this time, that too in such a heavy rain.

Arjun didn't have many visitors, he was a self world man or to be particular an introvert person.

Anyways, He unlocked the door and opened it. There was utter silence in the air. His senses were betraying him. He could not think, couldn't talk, stood still there for about an hour. Breaking the long silence finally the girl on the door spoke. Arjj..... . Her voice was not coming out, her throat dried up. "Uhmmmmm" she cleared her voice and spoke up. Can i get a glass of water? It's raining and my car broke. So..... Arjun replied instantly. “ O yes,sure ,why not.

You can come inside. You are drenched completely.....”

"No" she stopped him in between. Arjun was expecting this reply but the reason broke the remaining of him into pieces for unknown reason. "Actually my son is thirsty. He's crying since so long. I was taking him to the hospital. And......" He was clueless about this progression and now had no idea of what to say. Either he could send her back for what she did to him or.......... "What ?" Are you insane? Your son is ill and you are asking for water. He rushed out for the keys and picked his phone to do some calls. "Don't worry. Get your son out. We'll take him to hospital. There is a hospital nearby. He'll be taken care of." She was shocked like hell. She never expected. The man she broke every tie with, 5 years back, without his mistake, would give her a helping hand in such a situation. But she really didn't have any choice. At the moment her priority was Aditya .Her 3 years old son who needed urgent attention. So she agreed. He took his car out and she got her son. They drove off to the nearby hospital. He was taken inside ICU and they both sat on chairs outside. Her mind was witnessing a war between her past and present. Arjun on the other hand didn't actually had a present except his work. So they just slipped back into the memories which anyway was his favourite hobby since last 2 years. After all, much happened on a single day for them to cope up with.

2.THE COLLEGE DAYS

Introduction was going on. A tall ,smart , handsome guy came forward -"Arjun , Arjun Malhotra from Delhi." All were busy staring at this charmimg guy. That day someone felt the evergreen jolt of palpitations for the 1st time. There I was, sitting by the wall whose future imagination was suddenly interrupted by Arjun's introduction. 1st time I was feeling this attraction . I had been distancing myself from love since ever, so I ignored the feeling and continued to think of my plans. Naina.. Naina Singhaniya, the only daughter of well known industrialist -The"Arjunasthan mill's king"- Mr. Suryakant Singhaniya . I had everything but still was waiting for something. So I was there, in one of the most prestigious institutions of India- “ D-internationals.’’ The rare specialty of the university is its get together of all streams, be it be introduction sessions or some party nights. The introduction session ended, but I doubted if I heard even a single name beside "Arjun". "What was that?" I questioned myself on this weird thing that just happened to me. "Shit. I don't remember a single name. How will I talk to anyone. How will I .........." "Hey Naina " . I turned to see a sweet voice with a sweeter face standing behind me. Carrying a blue sling bag, casually dressed....and...before I could complete my analysis, she spoke up- "Hi. I'm Ruhi. Ruhanika Iyer. I'm from Bangalore. We're in the same class and I cheked that you are my friend next door and......" I was not a talkative girl. And so many words together..my mind could not analyse what was going on, so I preferred to stop this train. " Relax. You can tell me some of those things later too dear. And by the way friend next door???" Ruhi got the chance to re-start her train of words and she pulled me with her and continued while walking toward our rooms . "O dear , we are neighbours here. So I called you friend next door. You are 202, I'm 203. Say hi-five........ she stood there with her hand in air and I moved to my room.

Kind of boring she is, Ruhi murmered and got into her room. Much was left for the air of Dehradun to witness . On the other side Arjun ,who was being expected to be the super cool dude types- turned out to be an arrogant, "I just don't care" type of a guy . On the very 1st day he got the fame of "Don't dare to angry me ". The day ended and numerous unexpected changes got ready to knock the doors of DIU. Next day , classes were to start with a brand new assignment for students , which according to the faculty there, was a way to make us mingle with each other. Groups were to be made for the next assignments and projects. So random chits were started to be picked up. All was going well and suddenly fate again pulled me before Arjun. Arjun was a fresher in Bsc Chemistry stream who had to help me a medico with her project. We were not only in the same group but were paired for assignments. Where Arjun didn't care a damn, I again started feeling those butterflies in my stomach which I was trying to sedate since last 20 hours. Arjun left the hall which relieved me for the day.

So everything was fixed and our respective classes were going to start from next day. Everyone dispersed. All the partners were trying to know each other better so that they can be comfortable in working with each other from the very next day. Yes, all were trying, except Arjun and me. Arjun never felt the need to built a rapport with anyone and I feared my senses would ditch me if I go before him. Days started and passed like that. He kept the talks to work and I tried hard to avoid him as much as possible. I feared I will be handcuffed by love and he feared that......... "Tringggg..tringgggg" the phones rang. It was a common message for all. It was the 1st prom night for the batch which was made compulsory for all. Prom!!!!!!!!!!!! There was chaos everywhere. Some were worried about what to wear, others had tension of whom to go with ? Arjun was not ready to go but not having any option, he decided to ask his professional partner to accompany him. After all this prom was a ticket for submission of the assignments which both of us made with lot of efforts. So ultimately he turned this event into another assignment.

I was racing my mind for what to do and my phone rang up. I looked at the screen and all gudguds came back. I named the butterflies in my stomach "gudgud" as they now were inseparable part of my life. They were uninvited guests who neither see the time nor place to come. "OMG - only this was left to happen. Now what will you do Nan ?What….what?? Pick up the phone. It's your batchmate not a kidnapper who called". I was talking to myself and the call ended. "O shit!" Hitler will again get annoyed ". I preffered calling him Hitler instead of Arjun. That sweet name anyways didn't suit him. He called again. Without giving another chance to shout I picked up the call. "You are coming with me tonight to the prom." He hung. I was still in shock. "What??? What does that Hitler thinks of himself ? Did he just ordered me? I'm not going with him. Let him dance alone. " I had not yet decided with whom to go but I was sure that I would get at least one boy to go to prom. So I got ready. I proceeded towards the venue with other girls who were getting jealous of my looks. But who cares?

We all reached. Every couple was pre planned. Every partner was decided. I waited and waited and the only options left were Arjun and Akash .Akash- Like his name he knew no limits , of slangs, teasing girls, fighting with anyone and what not. He was a complete gangster. "Now what?" I didn't want to hold Akash's hand but neither can go with the Hitler . Just then Arjun entered . His gaze fell on me. He murmured in low voice but I heard some of it-“The princess in royal blue gown looked eternal”. He was sure of me being his partner, but just to show my annoyance to Arjun, I went in with Akash. Arjun was shocked to hell on what I just did. I chose a cheap gangster over him. The man whom no girl even want to talk to. Anyways he sat there on a bench outside the venue waiting for a chance to get in. An hour passed .The area was not at all decorated from outside, whatever was there, was on the other side of the door which will not allow singles to go through. The fascination behind that door was not that a big issue, but this was assignment submission’s ticket, because of which he was attending that crap. He waited and waited......and.....woow!! Suddenly something caught his attention. There was a painting on side wall of that hall. "It's marvellous, amazing, superb, out of this world, its...............!!!!!" He was certainly going out of words. He anyways was not a man of words. But this was something else, something he hadn't seen. It was amalgamation of emotions, without any blend of colours. Two faces in proximity expressing depths ..............."How come I didn't notice this till today . This great piece of art can't escape from any pair of eyes. " he thought . He was lost in the art for sometime when a familiar voice entered his ears. "Stop it. I said don't come forward. Stop....stop...."That's Nan.... " Arjun rushed towards the voice. Noone was there near the entrance. "Where is she ?" The shout again echoed. This time it was louder and fiercer. "Stoppppp". He knew this was from the bushes behind. He ran . Akash had almost covered her, she couldn't be seen. Before Akash could do something, someone held his hand in air. Afraid..shocked...astonished.....terrified , this was someone else. Noone might have seen Naina like this. But it was obvious , She was standing before the most horrifying danger for any girl.

"Don't you dare Akash." Arjun warned him. He knew there was no use of arguing with Arjun. So, he just left. ………………………….. I literally jumped into Arjun's arms. He held me tight like I will fly away. I would have definitely collapsed if had he not held me that tight. I was trembling with fear and he was filling with rage. " Relax Naina, everything is fine. Noone is going to hurt you. I'm here with you. Don't worry. " he said in a low voice in my ears. "No. No. He'll come again, he...he was touching me and saying........" . I couldn't say a word more and broke into tears. There was a complete silence for few minutes. “Lets go back Naina. I’ll drop you back.” Arjun asked breaking the hold I neither wanted to stop him, nor did I had that courage left . So I simply agreed. We walked the way down to the campus. I wanted to hold him tight, but something was stopping me from doing so. “Had anybody told you before?” Arjun broke the silence. I turned my head and gave a questioning look. “That you are The Most Stupid girl on this planet.” He completed his statement. He was neither laughing nor was he angry. He always carries this

expressionless face and thus no one can know what exactly he was thinking until he himself tells , which he never does. So basically Arjun Malhotra was a mystery not so easy to solve…. This thought passed my time on the way back.. and anyway at that moment, thinking about this Hitler was far better than remembering the incident that happened to me just few minutes back.. A horn took me out of the thought and I realised that we had reached the hostel campus. “Thank you”. That’s all I could voice out at that moment. “Go and sleep. Take care.” He said and turned to leave. I was standing there gathering myself. Suddenly he turned and I looked at him. “Naina, don’t think much about what happened. Everything is alright now. He’ll not do anything ever again. I’m there. Ok?” I was shocked to see this side of the man I had always compared to the biggest villain in world’s history. I just nodded in yes and turned to go inside my building, because at that moment that was all I could think of. To escape this world. He stood their staring at me till I entered safely inside the building, and I could say this confidently

because I heard his phone ringing, few minutes after I entered my building. I ran to my room, skipping the stairs and rushed to my window. He was leaving and I felt something, something so strange, something I had never felt before…..

3.THE LOVE SPARKS

Next morning I woke up to the news of Akash been brutally beaten by someone, the last night.

I knew it was Arjun. I wore whatever I got my hands on and rushed to college to have a talk with Arjun about the matter.

Arjun was sitting at a corner in the canteen as usual.

“See, I know you did all this. What was the need to extend that matter. Don’t you know he is from an influential family. If he would complain, you will not only loose your career but … ” I was ranting at him in one breath till he got up and put his hands on my mouth to shut me up. I was gasping for my breath as I had ran to reach him and I just wasted my remaining oxygen in scolding him without taking in any of it in return.

“Sssshhhhhhhhhh. Don’t you have any breaks to stop your words? How much will you speak? And what the hell are you talking about? What did I do?

And whom are you talking about?” He replied with shower of his questions.

He was acting normal and unaware of the situation I was talking about .

His calm and composed attitude made me doubt my doubt on him. May be I was wrong. May be someone else did this. And if this was true, than I was relieved. I don’t know why but the relief of him being out of danger calmed me down.

He tapped on my shoulder. “O, hello. Now where did you get lost? At least answer my questions. I’m waiting.”

“No. Nothing. I think some misunderstanding happened. Its ok. You enjoy your food. I should leave. ” I said that much and left the canteen as fast as I could.

“Was he saying the truth? Is he really innocent? Or he just bluffed me and I got carried away in his words so easily?” The thought occupied my mind the whole day.

We didn’t use to talk much about anything except work, so I was not sure of confirming what he said too. So I swiped away the thought and went to sleep.

Next few months, we all were working on our projects. Authorities got to know about the incident on prom and to compensate the matter, they allowed both me and Arjun to continue with our project even without attending the prom.

It was Friday morning. We had decided to go to the city to get the materials needed for our project.

I was standing outside the college gate waiting for him in a light blue chiffon top and regular denims. I was looking at the couples leaving the campus for rides. A loud honk near my ears got me back.

“ I have asked few local people, we’ll get almost everything in the DKC bazar nearby” He stopped his black bike near me and gave me this information which I already knew. But I didn’t mind him because my focus was anyway not on his words, but on him. He was looking extra handsome and sauve in black t-shirt, black pant and blue denim jacket…. Ruffled hairs.. dancing with the air.. his stubbles looked more attractive for unknown reason. He was looking like some Bollywood hero.

He snapped his fingers before my eyes to break my trance.

“O.. Hello, come out of your dreamland. We have a lot of work to do. Sit .. hurry up. ”

I somehow gathered my wandering thoughts back, and sat behind him. He started the bike with a jerk and I held his jacket in reflex. And shockingly it didn’t feel anything like strange or bad. Anyway, I didn’t want to think much about this .

We reached the market place, got whatever we needed and headed back to campus.

“Aren’t you hungry? ” I asked.

“There is a small restaurant nearby. I’ll stop there.” He said.

We both were silent till we reached there. He parked the bike by side of the restaurant, and we got in.

“What will you have? I asked. ”

“Water” that’s all he said and I stared at him in shock.

“You are seriously not hungry? I’m dying with hunger.” I asked him hesitatingly

“I don’t eat outside.” He said and took a sip of water.

He’s speaking like, he gets some home-made food to eat in hostel daily, I thought and gave my order because I had no intention of dying with hunger.

I ate and we headed back.

Next day we finally started working on final phase of our project. I had always been a focused and studious student till I met him. I don’t know why his presence used to made me wander in my dreams for longer than ever…. My heart started overpowering my mind…. The chemical reactions he used to perform didn’t get into my mind because some other reactions were going on inside me altogether…. Luckily those reactions were never the part of my syllabus, so I could focus on him without any loss…..

It was Saturday… we had the weekend off, and everybody had their plans with their special ones.

I didn’t have anyone there to spend the weekend with, so I planned to spend it writing stuffs, and listening to music. I was wandering around the campus with my earphones on when my gaze fell on him, sitting alone by the pool……. Lost in his world…. So much that he didn’t notice that the birds already ate most of the sprouts he had kept nearby…..

“ Hey! Are you alright? ” I asked clearing my throat to get him out of his world..

He looked up at me surprisingly and I knew he hadn’t heard what I just asked him….. but wait… was he crying? I could see tears in his eyes… red swollen eyes… like he had been crying since long…..

I hurriedly sat beside him.

“ Arjun… What happened? Is everything alright? Why were you crying? An…..d….and you said you were going home for this weekend……. What are you doing here.. sitting alone? What’s wrong?

Please speak something…” I almost spoke in a breathe.

I’ll speak if you let me to. He replied frowning his brows.

“Okay, cool… I’ll not say anything now.. you tell” and I silenced myself.

“I’m okay. Don’t worry this much. Something got inside my eyes so got tears. Don’t you think that you overthink…. And that too….. too much. ” he covered for himself… Arjun being Arjun, you can’t expect anything else from him.

“O , hello! Did you shut me up to tell this story to me? Or do you think that I’m that stupid to not know what’s truth and what’s not…” I replied in disgust.

“Stop pretending to have the perfect life… and stop pretending to be the strongest person.. and tell me what happened?” this time I was fiercer.

He stared at me for few minutes and then turned his face towards the pool…..and finally started speaking.

“No one ever asked me anything so forcefully before.. actually no one cared.. why do you care what happened? Its my life..I’ll deal with it myself ”

“When did I said that it’s not your life, or someone else will deal with your problems.. I’m just saying that sometimes sharing what’s in your heart makes you feel better….. I’m asking you to just speak it out… then deal with it as you want… I’ll not interfere.” I said.

He got up to go and I held his hand. He turned to look at me and a tear rolled down his cheek. Now there was no point in hiding anything. But him being him I didn’t expect that he’ll still open up.

4.HIS TRAGEDY

“Today is my mom’s death anniversary. She was all I had. She was my everything. My happiness, my pride, my conscience wall, basically everything. And he killed her. She died before my eyes and I couldn’t do anything to save her. She told me to take care of myself, but I never knew how to do that, because she was the one taking care since ever….. and she left me…. Alone …..” he somehow spoke

And he bursted into tears….. all the teardrops he was stopping made their way out…… and this time he didn’t try to hide them either… I had never seen him so broken… his anger was not his attitude but his pain… he always tried to hide his broken self behind that arrogant man….. so that no one could reach his inner one…

I never expected this …. So I was in utter shock.. I some how gathered myself back and asked.. “He? Who he?”

“My so called father. Who else.”

Now I didn’t know what to ask or tell him… we sat there in complete silence for few minutes when he restarted….

“She loved him with all her heart.. She had given her life for him… she sacrificed all her happiness, so that that man could smile.. and he …. He used to abuse her verbally and physically every other day… she tried everything to get his anger in control… but she got defeated……. I remember, it was my 16th birthday… me and my mom were waiting for him to come back, so that I could cut the cake……. He came at 11 and without speaking a word with us he rushed into his room, packed his stuffs and started to leave. Mom went inside and closed the door…… She started scolding him for spoiling my birthday…. She was saying that she had never stopped him from keeping relation with that other woman but she just requested to shift out after my birthday…. And he couldn’t even do that….. she was telling him how terrible husband and father he was….. I was watching everything from the keyhole….. I was so scared because I had never seen my mom shouting on anyone like that….. the fight grew worse and he started beating her with belt….. I….I tried opening the door… but I guess it got jammed….. I was shouting him to stop…. She was crying… and that beast continued beating her worse than any 3rd degree treatment police do with the criminals…… having no option left, I rushed out to call my neighbours… they started to break the door….and I stuck to the keywhole…. They pulled me back to bang on the door and we heard the loud sound of firing and her scream……. We broke inside to see him holding the gun after firing, and…..m….my….mom….my mom was lying there all in blood…… we called the ambulance, someone called the police …. I was with her in the ambulance and was telling her, that I’ll not let anything happen to her…. And all she could say was to take care of myself……….. She had left me… alone… they took him in custody… and he was imprisoned for life…. And my life was spoilt for ever…”

Till now he was shedding tears… but now even I was numb… I couldn’t imagine how must he be living with all this baggage… I didn’t know if ever he had told this to anyone before…. But I knew he was not, as bad as people thought of him….. I knew he just needed love…. Lots of love….. to heal… and I knew I was not going to leave his side .. at least till he starts smiling again…

“So. Where is that other woman and her family?” I asked out of curiosity may be.

“I don’t know. I’ve never heard of them.. not till date. ” he answered trying to compose himself.

Again the silence overpowered our grief…. And after about an hour, he spoke out.

“I had never told this to anyone before. And I have no idea why the hell did I told you all this…. I hate talking about this topic the most….” And he got up saying that.

He started to leave, without even looking at me…and this time I didn’t stop him. I could feel him.. his emotions just got naked before me for the 1st time… it was not easy for someone so reserved like him to digest that…

I sat there thinking of his words for sometime, and then got up and went back to my room…

We didn’t see each other the next day.

5.LOVE WAS IN THE AIR

Next Monday, we met for our project. He was still uncomfortable with the fact that I now, knew the inner him.

“Hi. You okay now?” I asked to start the conversation. And he just nodded in yes.

We started working but on different things….

He was working on the project and I was working on him.

It took time, but eventually the ice between us broke….. It was his official birthday… A day he hadn’t celebrated since years….. A day he didn’t want to come any year. And since he couldn’t stop the day from coming….he himself would disappear from this world… That day doesn’t exist for him.

We completed our work, and like every other day I went to his desk to ask if he is coming for coffee or something..

But he was not there. No one knew where he went. Today was a hard day for him always… so he usually disappears like that. But now, unlike other days, I knew where he might have gone.

I drove to the beach, we talked about the last time. I came and sat by him... “Go, today I'm not in a mood to talk” he said without looking at me. “I didn't say you to talk.. I'm sitting silently here...” , I replied. After a few minutes, he started.. “I'm missing mom.. she loved this place... But she could come here just once. ”

He held my hands and took me down to the stones…. One of them had his and his mother's names written on it... “I never used dad's name with Mine it was always mom's. She was my everything... She was my world ....” he paused for a secong before restarting. “After her demise people thought that I grew up.. but I closed... And for whom would I had remain a child?” He said with pain in his heart and helplessness in his eyes. “For her.....”. I replied. He stared at me with question in his eyes. “What do you think? If she's not near you... She's not with you?? No…. she's there... Watching you.. and just think how she must be feeling to see her son in this condition.... Your happiness meant everything to her... And now you are sad and she can't even do anything... How hopeless she must be feeling...” I tried to make him understand. He stared at me for sometime and a tear dropped from side of his eyes.... He collapsed on the ground.

I sat by him.. holding him tight... Letting him break down.... The wind flew and I wished it took all his pain away... That silence was different. Comfortable and soothing. I saw something unusual in his eyes which was so satisfying. My words affected him. He smiled looking at me. I didn't know what he was to me Noone knew what he was to me in fact, he himself didn't know yet what he was to me... For me he was the air you don't realise of having around but you can't live without it too.. ……………………………………………. Days and years passed. We got closer to each other. We now knew each other or may be not..

……………………………………………..

It was our last year in the college. We all planned a camp nearby. The whole batch, all streams went together for this 10 days camp in the mountains..

We were trying to spend as much time as possible with each other. No one in the university had any idea of what was cooking between us. Arjun was tough enough for anyone to think that he could ever be in any relation and I was the least approachable girl. So no one even tried. We were safe . No one cared where we go and what we do.

We somehow managed to get the last tents in the row to be next to each other.

The 1st night we all were way too tired to talk to anyone, so we all slept in our tents.

Next morning, it must be something about 5 am and he shook me up.. “Have you come here to sleep? Get up. Fast. We have to reach the starting point by 6.” He said with all excitement . and that was obvious. He was always the mountain lover, trekking being his meditation. He could spend his whole life just with those mountains……. And I ….. I was the one who loved to be in her room with a pen, paper and a good cup of coffee…..

“What are you thinking? Get up…” he brought me out of my thoughts and pulled my blanket to make me get up…

The cold air froze my body in a second…. And I started shivering…

“Are you mad? Who goes out in this killer cold? I don’t want to die…." I complained and pulled my blanket back covering myself as much as I could.

“Fine. Don’t come. I’ll go alone. I don’t know why did I even come to you. I should have known earlier” disappointment can be clearly heard in his voice in place of the excitement, that was there a few minutes ago.

He didn’t force me and went alone.

I got up and somehow wore as much clothes as I could and headed to the starting point shivering and shaking.

He was sitting there near a rock. I went to him and sat near him after snatching the cup of hot tea he was enjoying.

“You very well know how to get me do something. I’ll never talk to you. You are very bad. Y…you don’t even love me. Because you don’t emotionally blackmail people you love to commit suicide in this cold… see Arjun, If I die, the blame will be on you.”

He was silently rubbing my hands between his palms to warm me up and smiling while I was blabbering.

Seeing him smiling at me I pulled my hands back and gave him a kind of serious look saying.. “Aren’t you taking me seriously? I have left my suicide note on my bed, stating you being the reason to force me to die in this… ”

“shhhhhhhh. That’s enough for today.” He silenced me by placing his warm palm over my mouth.

I got up and continued my tantrum. “If I’ll die, you will miss my bakbak the most…mind me” I said with lots of pride, and he pulled me down towards him. I fell on him, holding his collar tight to have a grip. He held me close and looked at me with anger in his eyes. “If you speak this rubbish for one more time, you will never see me again ever… got it? There is a limit of everything, and I’ve told you a million times that I don’t like such jokes. And why should I ? Death is no joke miss Naina.”

He was angry .. and why shouldn’t he be? I acted stupid .

“ I’m sorry. I was just joking. I know I shouldn’t have …. But….. sorry .. please ” I apologised making a puppy face holding my ears to convince him.

“ Accha. Whatever punishment you want to give me, I’m ready. But please don’t get angry…. Ok, lets go to your baes, these mountains….” I said stretching my arms and acting…

“Nautanki..” he said smiling at me and we headed towards the starting point holding each others hands. We laughed, we cracked.. we enjoyed like there was no tomorrow. And in fact , there was no tomorrow. A storm was heading our way , that we were totally unaware of. A storm that was going to destroy everything.

6. DEPARTURE

It was the last day. We all took our degrees, shot pictures and were ready to leave. Arjun was waiting for me leaning over his bike. He had already completed his masters 6 months back and was working in a research laboratory now. We hadn’t talked to each other for over 4 months now.

Till now he had got slight idea why. But I had no guts to tell him what happened. My parents sent Arindum to take me back. As decided by them, we both had to go to a drive back home, while they will get all my belongings picked up. I had just bid goodbyes to all my friends and was thinking to go and see Arjun for one last time. After all I was leaving my life and my happiness behind. Suddenly Arindum held my hand and started trying to come close. I somehow made an excuse and left the spot as fast as I could. I was running from Arindum as his touch felt wrong to me. Suddenly a hand pulled me inside a room on 1st floor.

It was Arjun. He could clearly see that fear on my face. I wanted to hug him tight…… I wanted to dig my face into his chest and cry out all my pains…. I ..... I wanted him..

“And still, you’ll say that you love that Arindum and not me? ”His question got me out of my trance.

I moved back.

“N..No….Nnoo I … I don’t love you.. I …. Love..”I tried to justify myself between my gasps..

“sssshhhhhhh.. He shut me up and put his finger on my lips…”

I was lost in his eyes…. His proximity was giving me peace….

He slid his hands around my waist, and pulled me towards him..I collide on his chest… “And now?” He whispered in my ears..

I was getting weak. He knew how to force me to give up, without hurting me.

“N..No” I somehow spoke.

He moved closer, and kissed my nape putting my hairs aside….. I shivered with the touch of his rough lips…. “Now? Say, my touch doesn’t affect you, say you don’t love me.” He repeated..

“I don’t ..” I was weak enough to collapse , but he was holding me…. I was getting choked.. I didn’t know till when could I lie to him….

He looked into my eyes, put my flicks behind ears, and started bending towards me…..our faces were a finger apart… I could feel his breath on my lips…..

I closed my eyes..

“I love you.” My inhibitions had ditched me.. my pounding heart overpowered…. I was lost in him… “I love you Arjun… I had always loved you… I …”

Banging of the door of the next room interrupted me and I opened my eyes…….

I did what I was fearing, I ….

I pushed Arjun away….. I had tears in my eyes…. I covered my mouth with both my hands… and ran away…

I ran fast and far enough not to ever get caught by him…..

I was gone………..

…………………………………………………………….. Years just passed like that..... She left without telling anything.... Without leaving any trail.... No bye.. no evidence of her existence.... No reason.... No fights... No nothing... She just disappeared. Arjun searched her everywhere in every possible way.. but in vain... He died million times in his emptiness which always used to run to eat him up and he would get broken into pieces.... Trillions of pieces.. Somehow he had collected himself back to keep on running with the pace of life and here she was... Appeared out of blue.. Sitting beside him.. The kid was to get discharged the next day.. They didn't know what exactly to think of or what to say. “You should go back.. it's quite late now..” Naina spoke somehow.. Arjun was still in the trance and looked at her with blank expressions... He didn't know where to start and what all to ask... She's someone else... Her language.. her dressing.. her hairs... May be she too... Everything had changed so much that he couldn't find her Nan in her... How?? Before he could ask.. she put up the question.. Since when do you live here ? I mean this city... It's not your type of a place na?. He saw that old spark in her eyes while talking to him.. he could never forget how her eyes used to shine when he talked to her.. It's since 3 years after u went........... And he stopped. Silence overruled again. The doctor came and gave some prescriptions.. she stood up to go to the medical.. Till she returned, he was gone.. her heart sinked.. she wanted him to stay even if she said him to leave... Her heart wanted him to be there... Close to her... She wanted to know if she could still come... She wanted to hug him tight and tell him everything that happened. Everything she was dying to tell all these years.. but he went. She sat there. Waiting for the next day to start so that she could take Adi to there new house. Next day they left in a cab.. her car was still parked near his apartment. They got down and sat inside there car.. she wanted to go back to him... Knock his door and let everything get back in place but she couldn't collect enough strength to do so.. So she took Adi to there new house.. She set everything for the next 2 days and got Adi admitted to a good reputed school there.

7. NEW CITY-NEW LIFE

It was monday.. as everyone knew, a new forensic specialist was joining the team. All boys were extra eager for everything they had heard of her.. But one man was totally disinterested and was dipped into the case they had. Hi. I'm Naina.. I entered the office with a sweet smile on her face.. this was my 1st posting with the most reputed crime branch.. 1st time I was going to help out in finding criminals... And dealing with real stuffs and not just....... Shree... Anayta.... Samir... And Kunal introduced themselves one by one... “I thot you were 5 in the team... And I'll be the 6th one.” I asked. Yes you thought it right. Shree jumped on front... The 5th one is Arjun sir.. he's the backbone of the team... The most efficient one... But he's not interested in all this.. so he's inside... You'll see him when we'll go for the case.... I nodded... But a wierd feeling caught my heart after hearing Arjun. My heartbeats paced up like I was near him.... "Kunal have you sorted the locations of acquaintances as I told...." He stopped in between as his glance fell on me..... My world shook... My heart skipped a beat. He was staring at me... Fate brought us together again... There he was.. Arjun Malhotra... My Arjun... We were gonna work together.. we... "Yes Sir".. Kunal broke the silence forwarding the paper Arun asked for towards him... “Arjun, she's Naina... Our new forensic specialist..” Samir said He was still staring at me.. The heat of his stare was piercing through my body.. The phone rang and everyone rushed towards the conference room... He got back into the case... And I was left alone in that room in utter silence... I held a chair and somehow sat down.... How would I control myself from not running to him and hugging him tight... From not collapsing into his arms... From not crying my heart out... And apologizing for everything that happened to him because of me... But the thing was... I didn't know his life now... What was going on... What was happening... It's been 5 long years... A research specialist became the best ACP... And I didn't know what else had changed. We ignored each other throughout the case and somehow completed the case... First few months passed like that. Next day I got to know that he was going to nearby city... For some meeting regarding a case... I found it the perfect time to know about him... I was sitting with kunal and shree... We three had already started to bond well... Samir and anayta went for a dinner... I casually started asking about every team member since I should know them too... They both started with there stories... And proceeded to samir’s and anayta’s... I gotta know they were seeing each other... And Arjun sir? I asked curiously... He.... The phone rang... Samir sir just gave some important works... And told them that he and anayta will take care of the field.. All the purpose of my question went in vain... Adi had went to a camp so I had no reason to rush back home.. so I stayed helping them.... We completed everything by 2 am... And they proposed to drop me home.... And I agreed....

With lots of courage I again asked... You were telling about Arjun.... Sir.. This time kunal answered... What to tell about him.. noone knows him... He stays reserved... He comes for work... Does his work and leave.. All we know is something tragic happened because of which he no longer believes in love.............. That last line broke the last piece of my heart, I was holding on throughout... “Hadn't he married???” I asked... Lost in there words.... “No... He lives alone...” They answered together..... We reached my apartment.. they dropped me and left... It was hard for me to reach the 2nd floor cause all my senses were shaken... I somehow reached inside my house and fell on the sofa.. After staring the roof for the whole night I decided to talk to Arjun... We already lost 5 years, I didn't want to delay it further.... ………………………………………… I reached the office next day.. I hadn't slept the night before but there was no evidence of tireness in my eyes... He was already there inside the conference room .. briefing the team about the case discussed in their meeting... I went inside my working lab.... And fixed the day routine... I somehow had convinced Samir sir to let me accompany them to the field... I said that it'll help me know the job better as I was new here... And he agreed... They 4 had Left so I was Left with Arjun.... We took the XUV ... And left for the field.... I tried to talk to him.. but he didn't let me... He was clearly ignoring me and was avoiding any kind of talk.... We reached there and inspected the field... The case proceeded for 5 days till we caught the culprit.... Everyone was happy as it was a high profile case... But I was broken.... Broken by his ignorance... He was deliberately distancing himself from me.... He wouldn't even see me once... He would change his path, if he even hears my voice.. This was painful.... More painful than anything else.... I wanted to ask him why was he doing this??? All I wanted was to talk... I wanted to explain him what happened these years... But he was not ready.... Things just went on like that for almost a year.. There was this silence.. this strangeness that was hurting us both.

8. NAINA’S BIRTHDAY

It was her birthday. Every year, Arjun used to cut her favourite cake on this day alone. But today when she herself was here, he ignored her like every other day. Everyone was wishing her except him and she had no idea that who told them about her birthday. Because on her official documents , it was some other date. Happy birthday dear. Two voices from behind struck her ears at once and her questions turned into a shock, she was not at all ready to take. Shree told that it was them, who informed them about her birthday. They were here with a huge red velvet cake. The cake that’s thought to be the prestigious one for no reason. Arjun was watching everything from the door of the conference room..

So, her choices have changed too.. he thought in his head and just kept on looking on what was happening. She smiled and joined the celebration. She ate the cake and agreed to leave for home with them. Samir gave her off that day. She was happy….. no she was pretending to be happy.. Arjun had not forgotten to read her eyes. He was sure that something wrong was happening. May be the cake or something else. Naina left with her parents… Arjun couldn’t control himself. His heart was forcing his mind to think that she was not okay, and she needed him. He left without telling anything to anyone, but since he was always like that, no one questioned him. He was just to open the gate of his car, when he heard her voice shouting at peak of her voice. “Now what new drama is this? What the hell are you both doing here? Are you not done destroying my life, that you came here too? What is your problem? Her voice cracked… she was angry but was more in pain…. She was shouting from outside, but crying from inside…. Crying so loud that Arjun could feel her tears wetting his heart. “Why are you saying all these beta? We are your mom-dad. We came to see you on your birthday. We came to say sorry. We came because we love you.” Her mom said. Oh please. I’m done with all this drama 10 years ago. There is no need to do repeat telecast. Don’t pretend to care for me…and what did you say ?.. My birthday…I guess that comes every year. And you guys came to wish me after 10 years. Common, don’t think I’m that same fool who loved you with all she had even after your hatred towards her. I’ve not seen you in 10 years. You successfully snatched my every reason to be happy… because of you, today I can’t even talk to the person I love the most. And you are telling me that I have parents…. I pray to god everyday, that if he have to give such parents to a child then, better leave the child orphan…… And she broke down. Her father tried to console her but she didn’t even let him touch her. She shouted at them to leave her alone as they always do. And not to ever show their faces to her. Because she’s dead for them..

9. NAINA OPENS UP TO ARJUN

They both went, leaving her crying on the road. I had never seen her so broken… I couldn’t even count the pieces she was broken into.. I couldn’t see her like that.. Unable to control myself, I rushed to her and knelt down beside her. She felt my touch on her shoulders and turned to hug me… tight as ever.. it was the same hug.. the same feel.. she was my Naina. I knew she needed me, so I helped her get up and took her to my car. We drove to my apartment in silence between her sobs… I didn’t know how to console her, or even what to say to make her feel better.. so I chose to stay quite. We sat on edge of bed and she held my arms tight.. she kept on sobbing while leaning on me. I’ll get something for you. I told her and she looked at me. I went inside my kitchen and took out the black forest cake I baked for her birthday, like every year. I had decided to not let her know about the cake but that was all I could think of that time to make her feel a little better. Suddenly her tears slowed down and a twinkle took place in her eyes… she started glowing all of a sudden and I could clearly tell that she was happy. You still remember? She asked looking at me. Before I could answer, she continued, they don’t even know how much I hate their classy red velvet cake. And how will they know, if they hadn’t celebrated my birthdays ever. A tear dropped down her eyes. You know Arjun, for a very long time I thought that it was my mistake, but no, it was not, they just didn’t love me. They never did. I could clearly tell that millions of bad memories were flashing before her eyes. I took a piece of the cake and brought it near her lips. She opened her mouth looking at me with love and I let her eat a piece of happiness.. I settled myself near her. “You can talk to me if you want.” I said.

She looked at me like I just gave her a new life to live. Will you? She asked choked in emotions… I nodded in a yes. She placed her head on my right shoulder and held my arms tightly like she was not letting me go anywhere before she finishes. I switched off my phone and placed my palm on her hand in assurance that I was there. “You know Arjun, she’s my step mom. I lost my mom when I was 2.. I don’t even remember her face. I was sent to a boarding when I was 5. I spent all my life away from home. I don’t even know what a family looks like. But may be it was my mothers blessings or my environment that it didn’t let hate get inside me.. but I closed up.. because I didn’t know how to open. Years passed. The whole family would come on my birthday and go back in few hours. My aunt used to arrange the cake and gifts, so Mr. and Mrs. Malhotra still don’t have any idea of what I like and what not. ” She breathed and continued..

“But I was a child, seeing everyone happy with there parents, I used to think that I might be a bad girl, that’s why my parents didn’t like me. So I would tried to do everything they would tell me to do. They said me not to be with boys, I obeyed. They said me not to come home, I obeyed. They asked me to join a med school. I obeyed..they..” Before she could say anything, I spoke up. What? You didn’t want to be a doctor? But you were the topper of the class. She looked at me and smiled. “Marks doesn’t reflect your happiness. Right ?” she asked innocently. “ I always wanted to join IPS or army. But things always doesn’t turn out your way .right? and my case was anyways exceptional, where things never turned out my way.” She stopped and looked up at me saying. “ You were the only thing that happened to me the way I desired, and see it went down in doom ” her voice grew heavier. “ Then why did you leave Naina?” I asked.

“I didn’t Arjun.” There was silence and millions of questions rose in my mind. I wanted to talk to you about this since I joined this office. But you were way too angry at me to listen. Will you? She again asked me before letting out the answers I have been waiting for all these years. I nodded again. She started - That day, when I left with Aniruddha. All I knew was that it was something my parents wanted me to do. And I was habituated to obey them in hope to get their love someday. We had hardly crossed a kilometre from university when the thought of living without you started haunting me badly. You were all I had to say my own. And I was leaving you back. I was leaving my hope to smile again back. I couldn’t gather that courage to leave the only love I had . The love I had been craving for throughout my life. So I asked him to stop the car. And I told him about us so that he could say no for his relation. I even got out of his car to head back to you.. I was happiest to take a decision for myself for the 1st time. Your love gave

me the courage to do so. I literally ran back to hug you tight and ask you to never let me go. After a few minutes, all I felt was a hard bump on my back… and I don’t remember anything else.” Her voice dropped in fear and pain, and I felt like a part of me died within.. “I had an accident. A car, may be… ran over me.”………………she completed. She was lost in that terrible but blurred memory.. and I was numb and totally clueless about what to think. They told me that I was in coma for 2 years. ” she told. Who told?” I asked. Baba. Baba and kaki spotted me that day on road.. and took me to a hospital. When they couldn’t get through my identity, they decided to take me with them to Delhi. They told me that I was in coma for 2 years. Even they didn’t know, why did they kept me at their home for so long, may be because they had once lost a daughter in an accident, and they didn’t want me to die.” She spoke in a breath.

I was staring at her. She looked at me. After I regained consciousness I remeberd your name. Baba, kaki and I searched everywhere for a research specialist named Arjun malhotra, but in vain… my physical injuries got almost healed till then and I had started to regain my memory back. I went to my home address, and asked them about you. All they said was, they didn’t want to talk to me because I was dead for them. Guard chaccha told me that Aniruddha had told some dirty story about me to them, so they hate me . They hated me so much that they didn’t even care if I was alive. I went to university to get a copy of my degree back, cause I had to start doing something. The procedure took about 6 months.. this was the time I was broken so badly that I started thinking of ending my life everyday. One day I decided to end all this, after all what to live for. I had no family. You were not there, nothing to do… that’s the day I found Aditya… A 5-6 months baby, wrapped in a rag, someone left him on road. It seemed like god was giving me a reason to survive. I tried finding his parents, but it seemed, they didn’t need him. The day I got my degree , I adopted him and we moved back to Delhi in a hope to start afresh.

10. LOVE CONQUERS

We both were in tears. I had just told him all I had in my life, I had opened up before him.. I just held him tighter and said. “I finally met you here. I don’t know why did I accepted the transfer to Mumbai, and why did I stopped that day on your door. I guess this was destined.” He was looking at me as if asking that if I was angry with him for his behaviour? When he saw the love in my eyes, he hugged me tight…. So tight that I could hear just his heart beats that were rumbling on my pain…he broke down … may be he was blaming himself for not trusting me, or may be finally the thoughts he had clanged to for so many years were free..

“May be I can never tell you exactly how much you mean to me.. Because there is no way I can count till infinity... Because no dictionary in this world consists of the word that can do justice to limitlessness of your worth.... Because emotions can never be put adequately into words... Because the effect you have on me is something even I never understood completely... Because our connection is as free and boundless as the sky..... Because all this is as surreal as the moonlight.... Because few things are better left untold... ”. I said still digging my face into his chest wetting his blue shirt. He tightened his hug, and we sat like that for the whole night.. The next morning we woke up in each others arms. We smiled after so long. Finally everything was perfect. We felt good. He got up and gave me hand to hold to get up. He made coffee for us. We didn’t talk. Last night was enough of words. After having the coffee, I said. “I should leave now. I have to freshen up and reach the office too.” “Can we be back together?” he asked from behind as I opened the door.

A smile stretched on my lips. I turned and ran into his arms, my safest place, nodding my head continuously in yes. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. Before we could say something, his landline rang. It was Samir sir, caling him to office, and shouting for putting his phone off. “See you in the office.” I said and left. It was a new day for me. I literally took a new birth this birthday. I was happiest. All the burdens shed off. Aditya was coming back from the camp today. Ill tell him about Arjun. He already knew somethings about him. I had told him. But he hadn’t seen him. ……………………………………………………….. ……….A Week later………. The hall was lit ... With the soothing music in background.... A waiter came with a cup of faluda... Everyone was sure that he had spoiled it... That Arjun being the Arjun didn't know her.... And

Noone still had any idea of the depth of love they had… She asked who did all that... And her friends pointed at him... She had tears in her eyes... The tension on his forehead intensified.... She was in shock that how could there be someone who understands her this well.. He remembered everything.. He smirked and said, he's a good observant and doesn’t have Alziemers.... He told her there was one more surprise and they went out... He proposed her... And she opened up about her love for him.... She told how his smile made her smile wider... The pain in his eyes made her cry. She couldn't believe that the person whom she loved always, knows her the Best today... She said it feels like dream which will break again once she gets up.. He asked her , so all these years she used to meet him in dreams ?.. She said yes.. he asked so he held her hands in dreams.. she said yes... He asked if he hugged her in dreams... She said yes... He finally asked if he kissed her in her dreams... And she shyly answered no.... He said, then he knows how to make her believe that this isn't her dream but a reality.... He held her face in his hands and gently kissed her.... She… lost in that touch almost fell back and he held her... She said, finally my reality is more beautiful than my most beautiful dream... They smiled at each other and ended up in a long never ending hug.... The embrace for life.. ………………………………………….

She too had dreamt of her prince charming She too had her perfect wonderland.. She too wanted that happily ever after with her prince... It's just that she never dreamt her Prince coming on a White horse with a sword and protecting her from the villains... But she dreamt of him holding her hands when she is at her lowest self.. She didn't dreamt of him talking to her the whole day and telling her about his each breath but she dreamt of him sitting with her on terrace with a cup of coffee in midnight and talking about nothing...She didn't dreamt of him fighting for her every time the world is harsh on her, but she dreamt of him to hold her tight and safe in his arms when she's not ready to face the world... She didn't dreamt of him promising to not let tears come in her eyes but dreamt of him hugging her so tight that all her pain gets broken into pieces and flows out with her tears wetting his shirt... She didn't dreamt of him to get down the moon and stars for her...But dreamt of sitting in silence holding each other and starring at the beauty and pause of those stars and moon together..... She dreamt of a companion...A partner... She dreamt her world... An imperfectly perfect world....

He hugged her tighter. It felt right...It felt perfect.. She was loosing herself in those arms.. Suddenly the chaos subsided and poise took its place .. All she could hear was his heart beats And the synchrony of her breath with his beats took her to some other world.. Far far away from the pain her life held..