Divya Bist

Abstract Tragedy

3  

Divya Bist

Abstract Tragedy

New Normal Or A Nightmare!!

New Normal Or A Nightmare!!

2 mins
206


Do you find me adaptable yet? Asked the new Normal to me 

I shrieked loudly - No, still not!!!


I don’t know if there was a way to effectively prepare for how a global pandemic would upend my life. 


In fact, during those first months of this crisis last year, the introvert in me was guiltily relieved by the excuse not to leave the house for office leaving Kids alone back at home. 

But as the circumstances worsened, the stress started increasing, from work and from the headlines lockdown extended, loss of jobs, people running with fear, shortage of food supplies etc. 

I was the victim of this pandemic in terms of losing my job. Eventually, the problem doesn’t felt too big with the idea of compensating for the loss of spending time with kids at home. With time, I ran into anxiety & started to lose myself. The stress of economic insecurity, with worries about running out and the prospects of finding new employment, hovered me completely.

The more time I spent shut up at home, the more terrifying I was to speak to any adult who wasn’t my husband or my mother. Hearing the phone ring or even imagining the energy it would take to hold it together long enough to talk to someone left me breathless.


While everything overwhelmed me, the biggest challenge was trying to be there for my children in my new role of a continuous state of irritability and fear. My 9-year-old has always been talkative, but suddenly his chattering and curiosity began to frustrate me, while I was becoming impatient with my 2-year-old’s inability to communicate her needs.

I’d been a work-from-home mother for nearly all of the time I’d been a parent. But as the pandemic continued, most mornings I had to pretend like my husband leaving for work didn’t bring tears to my eyes — and sometimes I didn’t bother to pretend.


During the day, I tried to be calm and organized but woke up at night with anxiety. I am still struggling with feelings of not being enough.

So true to say, I still don't find this new Normal adaptable rather a nightmare!


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