Japreet Saini

Abstract

4.0  

Japreet Saini

Abstract

Bafflement Of Past And Present

Bafflement Of Past And Present

5 mins
1.7K


A sudden acquaintance of him by my old friend has turned all the chapters of my equation with him. With the curiosity, I tried figuring him in this busy world. This interest of knowing him was so casual but I never knew my axis would be upside down once I met him. My actions and words looked for him and to my surprise I found him easily. I was unaware of his presence though we were old school buddies. Those were times when the memories are blessed, but I just missed on to know him as if he never existed for me and same for him.

One fine evening I decided to reach out to him not sure of his reaction. Expected to the fact that I had to introduce myself and connect the dots so that he can trace my existence. “Hi, how you have been?” a small, precise, clear text message got delivered. I was sure of the fact that it was either not him or he would certainly not be able to identify me in my disguise.

Waiting for a couple of minutes, I turned down my phone and went for my usual chores without even realizing what he would be pondering upon but with a guilt of failing to get known in his mind.

In the back of my mind, I was trying to recollect him in school days. But it was completely faded. Neither his looks, nor his thoughts, nor if I had ever seen him, the only thing I can recollect in his side looks and big wide eyes. With a sigh, I decided not to ponder much and get back to my chores. It was Sunday afternoon, and I didn't have much to do. I decided to plant some trees and be in the lap of nature, but alas he just didn't stop running in my mind. The wait to confirm if he was the one kept me so occupied that I just forgot where to get started in my garden. With the random thoughts flashing one after another, where I was trying to connect all possible dots seems so weird and unusual which I have not done in my years. What was wrong with him, I just decided to stop everything happening around me and took a deep breath and decided to go for a walk.

I quickly gathered my instincts and with any second thought I was in my jogging shoes, fair enough to decide what I should be doing. It was nearing 5:30 PM in the evening and the slight cold breeze was enough to enlighten my mood and once again I was ready to sway in the breeze. I was kind of relaxed and decided to just keep the thought away of his existence. Considering that my reach was to some random person, I relieved myself while making sure he was not the one whom I all day kept recollecting in my memories.


I was in my late 30s and had walking was a part of my routine. The moment I stepped out of my door, there was rattling of drops and within seconds I was completely drenched. I quickly decided to run under the shed, the parking area to cover myself up, where I heard my phone beep. My curiosity enhanced and I was back to my heart. I knew it was him, for whom I have been waiting to hear. I quickly took my phone and to my surprise it was he with a small word “Hey”.

There is a bewilderment of continues struggle that travels though mind and reaches heart. Nothing can stop the flow, if once this bewilderment embarks journey; it continues too profound. Something similar moved in the wits of Ema, A girl of life, smile and exuberance, now stood in the midst of undulation to accomplish life, she always wanted to live. We say dreams are obscured in those closed eyes, but no one says, that they are the tiny fragments, build of your internal yearning and the path you would like to take ahead in every bit and pieces, irrespective of the fact that, we have known since childhood, dream is after all a dream. “It will never connect to your present life.”

We say, there is a phase in the life that we have lived, a phase of flash, a phase of denial, a phase to rebel and a phase to power over, every step we decide. Ema, was a mere lover of all these instances and she knew, the day she gives up what she has been holding so long, will challenge her existence. Existence is a large estate of a survival, and this survival can change the world you want to live in. Her dreams, desire was all common, simple yet sophisticated. There was always a twist in the way she lived. Detached of what difficulties meant her, she made her way out in every possibility, that life has to offer, and the biggest facet of her existence was her independent soul, which never believed to depart from her.

It’s not only difficult but also impossible for many to fit into the clumsiness of the situation and question the base, which certainly is quite a challenge. “I mark no regret to live my life, in the shadow of honesty, in the darkness of loneliness and in the little shine of truth and I believe that brings survival in my walks of life.” She is not scared of this cruel build on world, but sacred within to let go, what she holds so preciously in her arms. The dream of letting it go in every odd is scary and often she turns before reaching the point of disagreement with her, because she knows, her way within is stronger that what her mind has to calculate, and the calculation cannot win her inner soul.

Today, her world was different. Her feel was different, and she was different.



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