AND THE RIVER WAS FLOWING

The time when she was born I was in high school,  it was a lazy Sunday, and I was sleeping. Suddenly her first cry broke my sleep. I jumped with joy out of bed, rushed into my sister’s room. In spite of my mother’s yelling, my sister gave the new born baby in my hand. When I took her carefully in my hand for the first time. My time stopped there. A drop of tear came out with joy and touched her side of the face below the eye. She smiled the innocent smile forever. All my years, I was arrogant, a rogue. Neither my sisters nor my parents could bring a change in me but now something changed in me. Like my life started again. I wanted to take good care of her like my sister used to do for me. I was changed completely for my doll. I used to spend more time in TV & story books rather than any game in my childhood. But I started to spend time with her. I used to come early from school to spend time with my baby. I used to bunk classes if she was ill. I used to take her to river bank to walk, we even build a secret place out of ruins to play hide and seek. That was our world. Our moments were trapped there. The time was merciless and flew away like supersonic jet.

I wanted to study I studied. I wanted a good carrier, I got. I got everything but I lost her. Someone came in the middle of nowhere and took her away from me. Is this called love, to forget everyone and flew with someone? There would not be money in the pocket and he elopes with my baby. Some useless people help them just to prove themselves a hero. They send them somewhere and their work is done. But she is still our daughter".

 My brother-in-law was an innocent, charming and cheerful man who became a dummy for last one week. We left him at home because he was still out of his mind and sitting on the bed like an irate man. "Giving birth to a daughter, bringing her up, performing her marriage, fulfilling every responsibility as a father makes everyone proud ". He lost his everything but he was worried for his girl. In every 30 mins he was calling us and asking the same question “when stay you coming with her"? We went all her friend’s house and searched everywhere. Eagerly waiting for a glimmer of hope that would get back our girl. And someone told us one probable village name. I and my sister reached that village in the evening time. A rural village in river bank may be government has forgotten these people as citizen of India. Road was filled with fishes and dry fishes, dry nets . A smell of neglected railway side slum was touching our nose. "What was our mistake? Is this place where our daughter should stay? We wanted to send her to a place where she can live happily, but we cannot even see this place ". Neither I nor my sister can bear this sight. 

      Finally, we saw her. She was on a bike. A thin boy was driving with full speed. I shouted her name. My sister started running behind them with a loud cry. But they were to move and never stopped. We followed them running like dogs on the road. They stopped near a masjid till we reached there, she came in a burkha (A typical dress used by women to cover total body except eyes) . That was her weapon against us. A thin black boy was standing with her. That boy was looking like a motor mechanic, with a mouthful gutkha (A version of indian Tabaco consumed by chewing like bubble gum ). He spited and told bravely “we love each other, please do not try to separate us. We are also married according to masjid”. My anger was uncontrollable. I slapped 2-3 times to that useless. 

Suddenly she came in front and opposed me.   

“Do not dare to hit him again, uncle “I again raised my hands.

She again came “I am telling you, uncle. “I do not care that you are my uncle ““What does it mean if I left you all behind?” “Why are you all after me? “What wrong did I do?”

I was speechless. My sister was standing like a roadside mad woman silently. Finally my sister opened her mouth with a broken voice mixed with emotion, regret and anger “Eloping with him... Falling in love at the age of 18...is not it wrong?”

“No it is not wrong” lily’s voice was supporting her heart.

“I felt I will be happy with him, so I fell in love with him. Would you all agree if I told you this...? No you would not..!!! I cannot live happily killing my heart. That is why I came with him.”

I was motionless, speechless but my tears underestimated me and started flowing down and down.

Lily was the only one who was speaking there.

“I did nothing wrong. I cannot run any more uncle. If you want to kill, kill us both. But if you or father or mother or anyone will try to separate us, then I will lodge a complaint in police. Please leave us and do not chase us like dogs”

 

I slowly put my step back-word so as my sister. Sister was crying like anything. While leaving the place she told in her broken voice “Yes he is dog. I am dog. We all are dogs. As a family we have been guarding you for last 18 years. We have got used to it. When you went missing suddenly, we felt hurt like dogs. Forgive me. Forgive my brother. Forgive my husband. We got worried that’s all. We will go away. Do not file any case. Let us go brother. Brother you heard, what she said? Can she talk to us like that?” She ran away again to her daughter and told “Whether you like me or not, you are still my daughter. Today he is important to you. If something bad happens to you remember your family is always there to help you. That’s why we are leaving you here. Keep this in mind. Let us go brother. Let us go” That was middle of night, we came empty handed, and we were walking on the road... I forgot in fact lost my mobile somewhere. My younger brother and his 4-5 friends were coming by bike in a view that something bad might happen. They locate us in the middle of nowhere walking slowly like mad beggars.  I went to masjid committee, I went to police station. Hope less. No way.

     It is about 1 years from that day... the blue river was the witness ,her shore was the witness , her tides were the witness , every time I went to riverbank , every time I was in the ruins , I weep , I cry. I cry for me. My salty tears mixes with the salty wind and varnishes. No one knows about this except the flowing river.

It was night 10 pm. There was cool moon light. There was cool wind... suddenly someone shouted inside the river” uncle: help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee:” It was a girls voice... I torched everywhere with light. There was nothing but pin drop silence. May be it was the mistake of my disturbed mind. We all forgot that evening but same thing happened to my brother-in-law on the river bank just after 10 days. He was coming from office in late night on river side road. He heard a screamed voice,” Father, Help meeeeeeee” from the river. As if all tides begging him for rescue.

Suddenly I thought of Lily, it has been 1 years we never went to that village. We never called her. And she never called none of us. She was my kid till she was with me, but she left us when she was 18. At the age of 18 girls got some kind of wing. They like to fly. There is no boundary which can stop them to achieve their desire. Lily was not a different one. She flew away with her lover at the age of 18. I cried almost for one month not because lily left us, it was because she left us at her 18. We offered her a comeback but as usual love is always blind. I still remember my kid, I should not say I remember, in fact I never forgot her. I taught her how to walk, I taught her how to eat, I brought up her, but finally she flew away. That day is still fresh in my mind like it happened just few minutes back…

     I started my bike early morning and reached the same spot where we left her one year back. I searched and inquiry about her and finally found the house. A sick father and blind mother waiting for their son. There was no lily. They told casually, “once their son and lily went for a boat ride and she felt down in deep river, it was an accident. Now there son is working in Surat. This was just 3-4 weeks old ago. A lot of puzzle stocked in my head. Is it true? No. maybe not. How can a husband leave for Surat just 25 days of wife’s death? I asked the neighbors. Most of them do not know about the accident. Most of them even ever saw my baby in this one year. I was helpless. There was no way left. I asked the address of their son which they said politely” they do not know”." If you're going' through hell keep on going Don't slow down if you're scared don't show it You might get out before the devil even knows you're there" So I was quiet and got busy in my work...

 

One month gone. It was an evening, I was sitting near the river bank on the ruins which we once called our secret place counting the small tides aimlessly. Someone touched my feet in dark. I saw it was a young girl may be 16-17.I tried to see the face in dark. Oh god it was lily. He was trying to tell me something but her face was covered with some mud. She was not able to open the mouth. Her eyes were red. There was mud all over her body. I tried to touch her but she slowly went inside the river and varnished at some point. I pinched myself...yes it was true.

        I rushed to that useless village in midnight and knocked the door. The father opened. I straight hold his collar and asked him to tell me where she is. He was speechless. After some effort I rushed to the kitchen and grabbed the knife and pushed it in his neck. He screamed in pain and soughed wait….I will tell you the truth....waitttttt.

“When they married, they lived happily for one month. My son was hopeless and had no job. Slowly all our money finished and he started browning from friends. That also stopped after 2-3 months. He started to sell house hold things. In frustration he started scolding your girl. In this mean time he met a FAKIR BABA, Who advised to make satanic rituals to remove bad luck and gain money. He was praying the devil of the dead river in dark nights. He used to boat inside the river and perform rituals, blood magic. We parents are speechless. We tried to stop him but he scolds us like hell. He used to cut his legs, hands, chests to offer blood to the dark devil. He used to tell us how he is visualizing the dark things inside the river. One day the dark devil showed in the boat in a dark night and asked  him to bring the bad luck. Our son dreamed the baby inside the womb of lily was the bad luck, because she was pregnant before marriage.

      "OH my god... my lilly was pregnant. And I did not know. I should be punished. Some should bring me the hardest poison in the world. How could I neglect my beloved child for year I should have not looked for her once again? She did it to save our honor but we never understood her. I should have understood her. I pushed the knife deep into his hand… he screamed in pain … "stop…for god shake... stop.I am telling you the truth. We the parents are the dumb witness to everything.

  "It was dark night. It was slowly raining. He gave some sweet with medicine inside to lily to make him senseless. The poor girl ate the sweet poison in deep love or may be in deep hate. He closed the door made her naked. Pushed the bamboo stick inside her and cut the baby inside the belly. Brought that outside by hand. I have seen the dead child, it was 7-8 months old, and I have seen the cute baby, the blood and meat. My blood frozen that night ".”That night was horrible, scary and terrifying. He pushed the cut meats in a carry bag. And rushed to the sea. I ran following him. He went inside the sea. Through all the clothes... Started to throw the cut piece inside the river. Believe me I have seen a dark shadow was eating the thrown meat on the sea. It has long hairs... red eye. This dark god was naked and sitting on water. After some time everything stopped. My son came home with a smile in his face. But lily never wake up from sleep. May be heavy bleeding led her to death. My son carried her to the sea, tied stone with her and throw her from the boat. The night ended ".

No one but god knows what happened. From that day my son was never happy. He never slept in night; he used to talk with someone in sleep. He spoke strange words. I have seen the same shadow in his room one night. May be the dark devil became blood thirsty and started drinking my sons’ blood. He became week. And after 4-5 days he went to river and never came back. We have nothing left with us, please leave us alone. Please I am begging you.

"All these days she used to tell one day you will come definitely to see her. She was right, you came but your kid is no more"

  I was mute, dumb, standing there hope less. No idea what to do next... Everything finished here due to our ego. Everything went to the river, the dark river. A tragedy on the river which no one knows no one will ever know. I was crying like a baby.The blind mother came to me and asked...” you are her uncle “Yes: why”?

  She waked up just before her death when my husband and son were away. She called me... and told. “Mother: I know I did a mistake, a sin in my life. I will never forgive myself. This death is not a death. It is a peace, it is my freedom from inner me. I am happy. I know you will hide your son’s crime as always .Everyone will forget me but one day one person will come for sure, he will search for me. If he will unable to find me he will make your life hell. He is my uncle. You may hide your son’s sin, you may hide the tragedy. But he will dig everything out. Please give this note book to him when he will come.“The blind mother gave me the note book”

The red one I only gave her this note book during the first day of her collage. It was full with photos of her and me and some of her parents. All are cut and paste nicely. And in the last page

“Uncle Forgive Me” with love your Daughter.....

I came back with the with the memories of my baby... Still I watch the note book when I feel alone. I hate the river. I hate the deepness of river; I hate the darkness of river. I hate all the tides. I hate fish. Everything those are related to river. But it keeps on flowing, my animosity cannot stop it…………………………………..