Unsent Love Letter #1

Dearest Deary, 

With fluttering gut and heart-full eyes, reaching out to you from the pitch dark of emptiness... I can only see you in the limelight of love and you wouldn't notice me as I am in the dark tunnel and you are the glowing light somewhere very far. 

Let me tell you how it all started... On a dull mundane Thursday, with the force of a manager, I came to the office. I walked into the office room that was allotted to my project assuming I was the only one to visit the office. I vividly remember that you sat there alone and I opened the door expecting none to be there. We both exchanged pleasantries and boom I dropped the bomb of my parents' demise and talked non-stop to the extent that you got annoyed and walked off from the room and didn't come back until I left for the day. One of the oddest thing that ever I have done was to talk to a stranger and in the first conversation breaking an innate personal news of mine. I guess that's what lockdowns have done to me... 

Babe, I still wonder what are our odds of crossing paths with each other... I didn't have any intention to fall in love with you at all. You and I are poles apart in every possible way... I don't even know whether we end up toxic to each other. I couldn't decipher why I don't shy away from crying to you. I usually don't cry to many people and honestly, I have never cried to any so much all my life. Sorry, if I have made you feel how pathetic I am! As I have told you multiple times you look, talk, walk and breathe like my mom. I try my best to ignore all resemblances between her and you. However, you just look into my eyes and utter the same words she used to say and instantly make me feel so connected to you at a deeper level. 

Do you know how deeply and densely you have grown on me? Gosh! You shattered all the hopelessness and numbness that existed in me. Indeed, I am a hopeless romantic who has been longing for a fairy-tale love story and even romanticizes it so much. I am an idealist and optimist drawn to sunshine and joy; whereas, you are a realist and pessimist drawn to darkness. My love language is an act of service and gifts but yours is just time and physical presence. You don't even believe in long distance... I don't believe in the momentariness of time and uncertainty of space. I connect with people beyond time and space. I need you at this point in my life and I can't see or think beyond that.

Love has been always my coping mechanism and now I hold on to it through you until I can... Of all the people, I should know how uncertain every next moment is and how zero control we have over life. Yet, beyond all philosophical and spiritual lessons learned through life, there is a little teen girl inside me who jumps up and down in your jocund company. When you look straight into my eyes, flutterbies in my gut levitate me from the ground. Let me enjoy that until it lasts and I don't even want to know whether you share the same feeling as me... I love being in love! Thank you for saving me from the tragedy I was in!

Your everlasting friend...