Of Mothers And Daughters

Mothers, being mothers, always try to give their best to their children, even if they have to use some persuasion. If it does not work, the likely options are justification, threatening, force, and emotional blackmail, not necessarily in the same order, and it could be a combination of any of these options. All of us, at some time or another, had to forcefully eat bitter or rather unpalatable foods because of the benefits such foods carry.

The bonding between a mother and a daughter, as the latter transitions into a mother herself, is unique and memorable, and food is integral to it. It is about preserving the health and vigour of the daughter and nurturing and ensuring the safety of the newborn. I am going to narrate my experiences with food fed to me by my mother at the time of my first childbirth, which is a tradition in our family whenever a woman gives birth to a child.

The list of foods that are a must and those that are strictly a "No no!" are passed from one generation to another. In my traditional family, it was strictly adhered to. I am not sure if there is a written treatise, but there is a lot of informal information about the women in the family. My mother had all the requisite information, and any doubts, if any, would be clarified by my aunts.

I still remember the experience I had during my first childbirth. For the first three days, I was given milk and three slices of bread, only twice a day. One can imagine my plight! There were no concessions, and the guidelines were non-negotiable and therefore equivalent to rules. By the third day, I was famished, like a tigress ready to devour anything edible. On the fourth day, during lunchtime, a tiffin carrier came to the hospital from home with piping hot food. However, all the excitement of eating the food turned into disappointment as my mother sat next to me and made me eat a small portion of rice with Ajwain (fennel) and another small portion with a powder made out of dried ginger (Sonth), pepper, Haldi powder, etc. The permitted vegetables were only ribbed gourd, bottle gourd, snake gourd, bitter gourd, and a couple of others as they were easily digestible and inert. There was also a powder prepared with curry leaves and a few other additives and a chutney made out of Amla. I was forced to eat a lot of ghee with the food. I had no choice but to eat it. When I look back, I realize that I was reluctant to eat this food because it was repetitive, not out of my own choice, and some items were new. Nevertheless, after a couple of days, I started liking them.

Though at that time, I and my friends ridiculed the practices, in hindsight and with deeper inquiry, I was convinced that the food given to a new mother was of the right kind, though it was neither tested nor proven effective in any full-fledged scientific study.

Further validation came much later. One of my close friends also had a baby at the same time as I did, and she nonchalantly told me, "My doctor told me to eat everything, and I even ate spinach and tomatoes." She was proud that she did not follow the age-old tradition but was modern in her outlook. After about four years, one day she came to me and said, "I am dealing with back pain and some other complications. I have also gained several kilograms of weight. Do you think it is because I did not follow any restrictions with food at the time I had my child?" I did not give any answer but let her come to a conclusion. There I was with zero weight gain

, fit, and looking healthy and fresh.

Later, I understood the reasons behind the regimen of food given to me by my mother when she explained. Being close to starving during the first three days was to help the body get rid of water retained from the time before childbirth. It also helps in the contraction of abdominal muscles, which get excessively stretched. Feeding the mother with a single meal for 11 days was also for the same purpose.

The type of food given to the mother also keeps in mind the child's health, as the child feeds on the mother's milk. It could be carrying carminative, digestive materials from the mother's milk so that the digestive tract of the baby is cleansed and strengthened. The reason to keep the food free from spices and chillies was to provide a feed that would be gentle on the baby's digestive system. By day 11, both mother and child are stabilized, and the mother starts to eat two meals a day.

Having firsthand experience twice, I did not hesitate to feed my daughter with the not-so-palatable food myself, and I am sure she will have her own experiences and perceptions about it to share.

I am sure that different parts of India will have their own traditions with some variations, as the demands of the weather could be varying, or there could be totally different practices that work best for them. There is a huge body of information like this, and it would be a great disservice to our culture and people if it is lost.