Not Enough

I'm not enough

I know

So why not let me know

and break my heart again

It hurts to be half loved or even have hearted

But, I do need you to know that I did do my best to be what you wanted me to be

But know this

no matter what I did to make you love me

was never enough for you

it really does hurt to know that all the hard work and effort I put into everything I did for you

Still

was never enough time and time again

All of the pain numbness self-hate tears and breathless nights and much more

All for you

And somehow it still was never enough for you to stop hurting yourself

Even though you knew how much it hurt me

or even for you to stop replacing me with someone else you thought was better than me

even though when you needed someone that person somehow vanished

And suddenly you could remember our names again

because you knew we were  the only one who were there for you

Truly there for you

You took advantage of us

 not once did you ever think about our feelings 

or our emotions 

you were in this relationship to make yourself feel good

countless times

And yet here I am still being treated like nothing

by you

Hoping that one day you will finally say "I love you "

and actually mean it

hoping that you will love me for me and not just because I'm the only one there

And yes I do love that you are in my life

But as Adele once said

"I want to live and not just survive"

I do all things for you

and only you

But I am sick of everything being my fault

When it's me that you're hurting

And I know that's not what you want

"ME"

Or what anybody wants

And that's fine that you

feel that way

To tell the truth I don't want me either

But I just wanted you to know these pieces of information the next time you try to

"HURT ME "

-Never enough for you