Saturn

I loved her to Saturn and back but I feared that would never be enough.

I learned her favorite color and

TV shows

I even know that Saturn was her favorite planet

I Did everything I could do to make her happy

and yet she still left

She shattered All of Me and now I don't know how to put myself back together

Because she was always the one to make me feel better the one who knew me 

And now I don't even know myself.

and I just feel stuck.

My life is a looping memory of me just living day by day only thinking of her and how she's not here.

wondering where I went wrong.

wondering what I did to push her away.

And sadly there is nothing

 We were truly amazing to her.

Which saddens my heart because she never appreciated that .

It would make me feel better if I had Done something wrong for her not to love me anymore 

 But it breaks my heart and my soul knowing I did everything I could for the past 10 years 

to make her (want to love me)not just for her to get s

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omething out of it

Or to make her feel better 

but just because of me

 because I was her friend and that's what friends did

They stayed up all night laughing and giggling, listening to music that you both love not just the music she likes. Taking turns watching TV show yall both enjoyed together 

Sharing Secrets with one another and sometimes even cry together

but not once did they ever make it just about them 

and that's all she ever did

 she wanted me to fix her.

And never cared about my feelings and emotions when I needed to talk

and no matter all the effort I put in try to help her 

In the I ended up sacrificing so much to make her happy 

I even sacrifice my own happiness and now  

I've lost myself and she never even cared enough to stay 

she just left 

because no matter how many times she said she loved me 

She didn't show much in her actions 

And now she is gone 

and I'm broken