The Interview

I am someone who believes a lot in my instincts. You can call it signs, signals, vibes, anything. This morning I was getting some of those weird vibes. Something quite negative and some same negative signs as well. The morning began on a terrible note where I saw a dog being banged in a car accident. Later on, in the kitchen, I was cutting onion for an omelet and my thumb got a cut in the process. Eventually, the omelet burnt and got wasted which generally does not happen with me. In the back of my mind, I was having this thought that there is something wrong with this day.

Generally, when I see these kind of signs I trust them and avoid getting into any important work. I try to postpone it to some other day. That day for the very first time I was in a catch-22 situation where I could neither avoid nor postpone the important work scheduled for that day. My interview was scheduled that day in one of the Ad Agencies. For someone who was sitting jobless for more than 6 months or so was under no situation to choose or decide whether to attempt that job interview or not. After a long hustle of those countless thoughts in my mind I came to a decision to go for it doesn't matter how the day was and what result it might bring. I just thought about respecting the opportunity which destiny was trying to provide me.

I reached out for the interview. The concerned HR gave me the form to fill out and asked me to complete the pre-interview formalities. It was now an hour that I was waiting for them to call my name and the next moment I saw someone. She passed in front of me and I went unnoticed by her. From that moment when I saw her till she disappeared in front of me, those few seconds my heart was thumping like anything. There was a sense of anxiety and a kind of fear in my mind. I went blank at that moment.

I was trying to calm myself down and in process I drank the entire bottle of water. Slowly my heartbeat came down and one of the HR Personnel called my name. She asked me to walk inside the cabin for the first round. I went towards the door of the cabin and just pushed it ahead and asked may I come... and that sentence was chopped into pieces by what I saw in the cabin. She was my interviewer. This time again my heart started thumping. She was on a call with someone and she made a hand gesture to come inside and asked to have a seat. She was reading my resume and talking on the call at the same time. I don't know from where did I get the courage to face her at that time. I decided if this is how it's going to happen from here on then I am ready for it. I was not looking at her I was just waiting for her call to end and the interview to begin.

We knew each other as we were in relationship in our college days for around 4 years but later she married someone else and till today I don't know the reason why did she did it to me. I decided to take this situation very professionally. Several thoughts were running in my mind about my past and how things went those days the pain I faced when she left and post that till today I was holding that pain inside me. I also felt that I should back out from this interview as I didn't wanted to work at a place where I have to see her face on a daily basis. But later I thought that I am not in that position to think this way and I really can't afford to let this opportunity slip off from my hands. I decided to accept the situation and battle hard for it. In a few seconds more the call ended and then:

She: Sorry to keep you waiting. Yes then let's start. I was going through your resume, Quickly Could you just brief me about yourself and your prior experience till today.

I introduced myself to her and told her that I have around 6 years of experience working with various Agencies.

She : your resume shows a big gap of around 6 months. What were you doing all these days and why such a big gap?

Me : "Some Gaps are unexpected". She looked straight into my eyes after that sentence. Her eyes looked guilty and were trying to hide down behind her specs.

After a minute of silence, I further added that my previous agency was shut down and I was left with no option than to leave. I was searching for a suitable opportunity as per my experience and skill-set and I didn't find any of it until today. In between I was working on freelancing projects but not regularly.

Her body language was seeming uncomfortable and probably at that moment for the first time in my career I felt that today the interviewer is more nervous than the interviewee. Another few minutes she asked me 3 to 4 questions about my job role in my last company and how did I come to know about this opening etc. I answered everything quite professionally.

She later said:

She : I have a couple of more questions and then we are good to conclude.

According to you what is your biggest strength that allows you to see off and break through all the barriers?

Me : "Acceptance"...

Over the years my experience with people and the situations they were with me have taught me a difficult but important skill of accepting the ongoing situation. At several stages of our life, we can get stuck in a particular situation if we don't accept the reality of the on going situation.

At times to have a perfect resolution towards something, we need to accept that situation the way it is. By complete acceptance, you detach yourself from that emotional bond attached to that situation. Mentally it allows us to stay Practical, think freely and purposefully which eventually makes us stronger and help us see off and break through all the barriers.

She exactly knew what i was talking about. My answer was more of a mirror which was showing her own face into it. 

At that moment i decided to make her taste her own medicine without being unprofessional. 

Later she asked what is your biggest weakness?

I was looking at her and she wasn't looking at me at all. She looked at me once and again looked down and kept tick marking something in the sheet in her hand.

I answered, "At times I blindly trust on things how they seem to me".

This time she looked at me in a more anguish way. She didn't respond at all. I adjoined another sentence with it

Me : "At some point of time, we need to consider several other things as well when you decide to trust someone.

She : Can you elaborate your "Trust" aspect a bit more in detail how it is your biggest weakness?

Her tone was filled with anger but I too decided to answer it with more anger and I answered.

Me : Surely I will elaborate.

Have you heard about a term called "Mirage"

She : No

Me : no worries I will explain.

Mirage is a kind of an illusion regarding the appearance of water on a hot road or in a desert. Most commonly seen in Desert areas. For instance, imagine you are walking in a hot desert for around 2 -3 hours post 12 pm or in between 1 pm to 3 pm when the sun is at its peak and all of a sudden you will see a lake at a fair bit of distance or a layer of water on the ground surface but when you reach there, in reality, there will be nothing. It's just a kind of an hallucination that is portrayed by nature when light passes through two layers of air with different temperatures.

In hot deserts or rather on a hot road in that kind of extreme heat you actually don't see "water" but rather you see "hope" and nothing else.

She replied, why are you explaining this science to me and how does it relate to your weakness as "trust"

Me :  let me complete please. Leaving things incomplete doesnt show you clarity in any aspect of our life. Allow me to complete i have a habit of completing things. So shall i complete?

She : yes please continue...

So as you now know about Mirage Similarly, in our life, there will be moments when we will witness "Mirage" in the form of some favorable kind of situations and things that we will expect or foresee to happen with us. These situations which we are expecting to happen are depended on some of those people around us. With we wanting to make those situations come true or take the shape of reality we keep walking along with those people on whom those situations are depended upon. As time progresses at some stage we realize that those things or situations are not going to come true, not because you went wrong somewhere but rather because of those people who never turned out in a way you expected them to be in those situations.

So I somewhere feel we shouldn't just believe or trust a person on the basis of what he or she is trying to show about himself or how he or she is seeming to you. We should have a check or rather check at regular intervals whether he or she is still the same person which you felt initially. I understand people change at various stages in their life but when you have some results or outcomes depended on them, then it's not about them in fact it's all about you because you are the one who is going to suffer on each of their wrong moves or wrong decisions.

She : OK got it.

Each word which I spoke in that conversation had my pain written all over it. Those words were wrapped with my suffering of all those years. Those were not words those were thunderbolts which I threw at her. She was writing something on the sheet as well as was doing something on her laptop. A few seconds later she closed her laptop and said:

She: You are supposed to have 2 rounds out of which one has been done today and for the next one you have to wait till coming Tuesday as our creative director is out of India currently and he will be back in the office may be Tuesday. Post that we will communicate with you accordingly. Any questions you have for us?

Me : No

She OK then we are good to go

Me : Thank you.

I came outside the agency and started walking towards the gate outside. I was thinking about what happened inside and what will happen if I get selected. I knew it wasn't going to be easier to face her daily and work there but yes I will fight it out for sure as I badly need this job.

Just when I was walking outside the gate someone called my name. "Abhi"!

I turned back and she was coming towards me all of a sudden my heart started thumping again. I had no idea why she was coming towards me and what she wanted to talk. About. She came and said:

Abhi 2 min baat kar sakti hu, Please naa Mat kehna sirf 2 minute Please!

I said ok and she said can we have a coffee ?

I wanted to say no but I also wanted to hear what she was up-to. We got into the nearby restaurant. After a few minutes our coffee arrived.

She : First of all thanks for coming.

Me : Kya kehna tha tumhe?

She : I just wanted to say please don't mind about all those questions which I asked you in the interview. I was being instructed to ask those questions only specifically by the Creative Director. I was just doing my job.

Me : That's Fine. Anything else?

She : I want to apologize for what I did to you. Your words in the interview showed that you might have gone through a lot because of me. Look, that time I just did what I felt right. I wanted to have a better life in terms of everything which I felt it was not possible with you. You had your problems and challenges and I respect that you were not backing out In spite of those but it was me who didn't wanted that initial struggle. Which we could have had if we have got married. Trust me, there was nothing wrong with you but I personally felt that I can have a better life without you. Also somewhere I felt that I wasn't that serious about us. I felt with me it was more of a long-term infatuation rather than love.

Coming back to this job I feel you are going to get this job for sure. I have seen that assertive approach from the director about your profile. One last thing I want to request is if you are selected don't back out from this job just because of the thought that "you have to see my face daily" I can understand the awkwardness you might be sensing but the good news for you is I am already serving the notice period here. Only last 15 days are remaining and then you wont see me here. Me and My husband are shifting to Jaipur next month permanently.

Later we got off and started moving out of the restaurant and I was thinking that before getting into the restaurant I was worried about so many things and all of a sudden one moment has changed the entire story for me. While moving out there was a kind of peace which I was going to take home with me. I felt the only reason why god sent me here was to complete my incomplete story. I was destined to have that pending answer from her here at this stage of my life. I have to say that today time has taught me one more thing that every story has its own end and we are absolutely nobody to decide how and when it will end. We should only be truthful and leave it to the almighty.

She wished me all the best and left. Today she left one more time but the only difference was, this time I was watching her leave.

She crossed the road and kept walking and eventually disappeared somewhere in the crowd.