THE EXAM SCARE

UP TO THE CLASS OF 12 THAT TIME, ABOUT 35 YEARS BACK, EXAMS WERE NOT A FEARFUL THING. WE USED TO STUDY FOR FEW HOURS IN EXAM TIME ONLY AND GOT GOOD MARKS. THE CUTTHROAT COMPETITION OF NEET LIKE TODAY WAS NOT THERE.

AS I PASSED P.M.T. AND GOT INTO MEDICAL COLLEGE, THE TENSION OF STUDIES STARTED BUILDING UP AND IN MY FIRST EXAM OF M.B.B.S. THE TENSION WAS AT IT'S PEAK. IT TOOK TWO HOURS TO GET THE SLEEP NIGHT BEFORE THE FIRST PAPER AND WITHIN NEXT TWO HOURS, I HAD TO WAKE UP FRIGHTENED.

ACTUALLY I HAD A DREAM THAT I MISSED MY PAPER AS I COULD NOT REACH THE EXAMINATION CENTER ON TIME. I WAS PERSPIRING PROFUSELY AND MY HEARTBEAT HAD ALMOST DOUBLED. I COULD NOT SLEEP AFTER THAT AND BECAME NORMAL ONLY AFTER COMPLETION OF EXAM.

AFTER THAT IT BECAME A ROUTINE IN EVERY EXAM AND GIVING EXAM HAD BECOME A VERY TEDIOUS TASK FOR ME IN SPITE OF I HAVING GOOD PREPARATION OF SUBJECTS. SOMETIMES I USED TO VOMIT ALSO BEFORE THE EXAM.

THIS CONTINUED EVEN AFTER M.B.B.S. FINAL EXAMS INTO MY POST GRADUATION.

IT'S NOW 20 YEARS SINCE I GAVE THE LAST EXAM BUT STILL ONCE IN A YEAR OR TWO I GETS DREAM OF MISSING THE EXAM AND THE FEELING IS JUST THE SAME. IT ALWAYS WAKES ME UP AND THEN I AM SO RELIEVED.

MY GREATEST FEAR IS STILL SCARING ME IN MY DREAMS AND ME STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.