Sartorial Obsession

Every time my wife has to step out of the house, she stares mournfully at her open wardrobe which is usually fully stacked, and an "all too familiar" cry of anguish emanates from her rosy lips, " I have nothing to wear " !

Usually, I have no objection to my wife purchasing new clothes except that her insatiable need for them bears no logical relation to the large wardrobe and several suitcases full of seldom worn clothes in perfectly good condition, already in her possession!

Saris are undoubtedly the magnificent obsession of the majority of Indian women. " I've got to have a new chiffon sari ", my wife would say with a note of desperation in her voice. " But you already have many chiffon saris ", I would reply meekly. " Yes ", agrees my wife, " but I don't have one to go with my new bandhani blouse ", she would clarify. I am tempted to ask her why in blazes did she not buy a new bandhani blouse to go or match with one of her many chiffon saris, but I check myself knowing fully well the futility of attempting to counter female logic. Buying one article of clothing in order to match another article of clothing is a gambit passed on from mother to daughter, generation after generation!

It is generally of little consequence to most women whether their clothes indicate good taste in color or pattern, or even whether they fit appropriately. I have seen women wearing shocking pink silk sari in bright sunlight. They literally ruined my day. The mood swing in me was quite noticeable!

The paramount consideration & logic behind a woman's choice of clothing is that the clothes should be of this year's style & trend or better still, this month's. Asked to wear an out-of-fashion dress because it is nice looking and has been worn only a few times before, my wife has been heard to say: " Are you mad, Are you out of your mind " !  

Maybe she is mad to suggest that I am mad. But the best way and sane approach is to give in (surrender) and buy such clothing as your wife demands. Just think how happy this will make not only your doting wife but also the local shopkeepers or vendors. If more and more husbands similarly give in, it might even stimulate the flagging economy and reduce the national debt, even as your own debt increases!

Final word & Final assault: I suggested to my "mild-mannered" wife that she could buy as many clothes as she wanted by selling some of her seldom-used jewelry and ornaments. She EXPLODED *******

I am still experiencing the aftershocks!