My Quarantine Diary (Day 20)

Day 20

Friday 1st May, 2020 

11:45 PM

Dear Diary,

It's the 20th day of my lockdown. One more day to go. Eventually, I am getting OK with my life.

I know that there are lots of things which remain unsaid between us. Earlier I was hoping that we could get back together again. Earlier I was so anxious with the sense of getting older, about time passing, about the life I hoped for. I think that now I crossed all the thresholds of my anxiety.

Slowly I am admitting and letting go of it. I think that at some point in time, my broken heart needs to understand the fact that loving him doesn’t mean that he was good for me. I have to face this reality squarely. I can have a happy life, even with great sorrow in my broken heart, even while carrying loss.

Today I finally watched the Bollywood movie ‘Thappad’ for which I was planning for a while. When I watched the official trailer, I just loved it and so as now the entire movie.

It’s about a woman who reevaluates her marriage after her husband slaps her in the face in front of a group of people at a party.

She filed for divorce. Again I evaluated my scenario and I recognized my happier and confident self who prioritized her own identity and dignity of life rather than anything else.

Today I have planned for another movie night with my flatmates!!