Ayushi Tiwari

Abstract Drama Tragedy

4.5  

Ayushi Tiwari

Abstract Drama Tragedy

FROM THE DIARY OF A LOST GIRL

FROM THE DIARY OF A LOST GIRL

3 mins
292


Dear diary,

Today was the same. Just like every day, I woke up, had breakfast, took a shower and did what I do all day, lie around the house and play on my phone. I told my mom I loved her, had fun with her and cuddled her. There was a thought that kept me awake last night, I was imagining my funeral, wondered who will cry, who will curse, who will miss me, who will remember me, who will try to call me back but the question that troubled me the most was who will be present to actually see me or will everybody just fulfil a responsibility? I know I am sure of one thing is that I am lost and I don’t know my way back. My mom loves me but does she sense my sorrow when she holds me?


My dad gives me everything I want but can he give the weapon to fight my inner battles? My sisters understand and know me but can they see the conflict in my eyes? I want to call out but I can’t. I wonder if it is normal to be so lost that the wrong path I am on, gets me excited for something different, something other than what I am used to. I don’t know if I am happy or sad, what I do know is this is not how a good thing feels. I keep longing for a someone, just to listen and absorb, not to comment or give advice. The night was rough, I didn’t get a lot of sleep, my eyes still feel heavy. I wish there was some magical pill that could make me normal without hurting anyone I know.


I love my family but the secrets I hold make me feel I can destroy a lot if I don’t control myself. You know, sometimes I wonder if I can just end it, swallow a few pills, find a rope or just jump off a building. I am not sure what is the best way, I am not sure why I am thinking that, I am not sure who I am anymore. My world changed a lot when I decided to find out who I was, I think I have convinced myself that I am okay with who I am but sometimes I don’t feel that way. I am not sure about the future or past or present, I have decided to just let go of everything. I am struggling a lot with a lot of thing, there are so many questions that I have right now but no answers


. Well, I am sure that I am lost and tired to I might rest now. The pills are waiting for me. I have brushed my teeth and gone through my routine so, I am going to bed. We will talk more tomorrow.

Hopes and wishes for a better future.

Bye for now!


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