What Is That Remains!

“Hinaya Kapoor”. Hinaya silently mouthed the name and then turned back to her father.

“Papa, Mumma’s name is Hinaya Kapoor, and I am Hinaya Shah?”, her 7 years brain worked pretty fast in this conjecture. What is the connection between her name and her mother’s name? little Hinaya here was always fond of playing with her mother’s things, especially her diary.

Ajitesh looked up with the same adoration and reverence to Hinaya’s picture put up on the wall and silently folded her diary in his daughter’s hands. His mind wandered off to a girl sitting silently at the corner of the office, while all others greeted him with an astounding welcome.

“Welcome Ajitesh Shah to CTS”. Ajitesh was the heart throbbing newcomer of project Z in the Ahmedabad office. The Project head brilliantly welcomed him to the floor. Ajitesh looked around and found a lot of hi’s from the envious yet smiling project mates and also a lot of giggling gleaming office girl colleagues in the crowd. As the project head called Hinaya, she stood up in a fear of being caught off her online window shopping screen. A shy Punjabi girl did sound rather different as Punjabi’s are generalized. Seems she always felt a little invisible in the crowd. Ajitesh looked around, is she the new project manager he had to work with? It is then Hinaya stood up and came around as the project head gestured for her to come and meet Ajitesh.

Hold on readers, it is not the spark of love here!! Mmhmm not here at all. Although the handshakes were exchanged, Ajitesh was intimidated by Hinaya’s demeanour. She wasn’t an epitome of a damsel in distress, other than her sneakiness over window shopping, she rather was a confident woman in her own style and composure. Hinaya greeted him with a kind gesture. That was the first and probably last proximity of Ajitesh and Hinaya. 

Probably wondering what is this story about. Not a love story eh? Of course, it’s a story for love, with love and intensity that delve around even in the non-existence of one… Yes! It’s a sad one though.

Ajitesh came back to his present world, where he drifts around the shorter memories of Hinaya. Mrs Shah, Ajitesh’s mother called him as some guests had arrived to meet him and little Hinaya. They were Hinaya’s parents who came to visit the little Hinaya. But the usual rant about him getting married was always the topic. Even Mr and Mrs Kapoor wanted Ajitesh to get married as he was just 40 years old.

“But why do I need to get married, Mom”. Ajitesh as usual bellowed at his mother. Mrs Kapoor, hiding her tears said – “but beta, Our Hinaya still needs a mother”. Ajitesh answered – “Aunty, please forgive me to intrude, but do understand this Hinaya is my only family and will be in future. And she will always be with me, no matter what”.

Yes, my dear reader friends, Ajitesh was never married. Wondering how is it? Well, you will know !!

Unbeknownst to Ajitesh, Hinaya kept struggling with her work-life balance and aspirations. She was fraught with pretty hard conditions with her social issues, family constraints and never moving forward with work. But at times, when you need a breath of fresh air to clear out every clutter in your mind, The universe sends her own way of therapy. Ajitesh was just the one!

In the span of 5 months, Ajitesh and Hinaya’s work equation grew to be from good colleagues to best buddies. From managing work together, Hinaya was also his love life manager and he was her unrestricted psychotherapist. It seemed so Ajitesh was always a messed up guy when comes to relationships in this modern-day world. He was a flamboyant hunk of Project Z. well yes, a lot of girls were literally crushing on him. Sometimes unwilling man crushes too!! But some way Hinaya was not affected by his fan following and charms. Rather, she had to be the moat of his love life fortification.

Work didn’t affect the equation at all, rather Ajitesh shared all in all with Hinaya. But Hinaya seems to only intellectually eject her true emotions to her journal. Yes, my fellow reader, that’s the diary our little Hinaya was curious to know what was in her mother’s journal.

Someway, that Diary was always the prized possession for Ajitesh, even though our little Hinaya kept growing up, her surroundings always questioned her mystery mother. Even though she kept saying that Hinaya Kapoor was her mum, it seemed the world except for Ajitesh never believed.

“Papa, please tell me about Mumma” – now a young Hinaya of 16 years old asked Ajitesh the most basic question of her life. Who was her mother? If Ajitesh was never married to Hinaya. No matter what, society always questions a presence of a loved child. But was little Hinaya a love child?

The answer to this question was only known to Ajitesh, his mom and Hinaya’s parents. But even though they explained the reality, none ever believed. Rather it was outgrown rumoured thought that little Hinaya is in fact a love child. And only to safeguard Hinaya’s character certificate, this story is spun. But Ajitesh remains strong on this and never let anyone question his Hinaya, at least in front of him. This was the amount of irrevocable affection and veneration, he kept for Hinaya.

Even though the world had reached in 21st century, into the modern yet ghastly world of Tesla and technology, A woman’s character certificate is always a topic of the so-called society, even though her existence is now just space dust. But this gruesome world didn’t know the impact behind true love, the love that was fashioned without anybody's proximity.

Hinaya and Ajitesh were never a couple in their entire chronicle of work, friendship and true adoration. Rather it was most unadulterated transcendental companionship that is always valued in happy moments between family and friends.

Little Hinaya now grown up asked her Papa again. – “Say na, Papa, how was my mom”.

It was now the time after these 20 years, that little Hinaya should know everything about her mom.

“Go fetch me that diary of your mum, will you?”- Ajitesh silently requested his inquisitive daughter now.

As Hinaya rushed into her papa’s room for the mantle piece of his life, Ajitesh looked at Hinaya’s picture and with a silent tear – “I miss You Madamji!!”

Madamji was actually a literal surname given to Hinaya Kapoor by all her colleagues, well-instigated none other than Ajitesh himself. Although it was all crafty and on being on a lighter note, she hated to be called “Madamji”. Especially when it was from Ajitesh.

Ajitesh, but in the corner of his heart, mind and soul duly and adored his madamji and always thought of a beautiful friend who assisted, protected and also played cupid all his casual flings in the office. Maybe it was all her moments of happiness, as she laughed the loudest on all his failed dates.

But it seemed, not all times, the weather and seasons remain the same. There are always the darkest nights that come with new moons. In the ghastly phases through which all the human race must undergo, there is always this inevitable change. Death.

In all sorrows, happiness, a moment of hurrahs and pat-on-backs, Life always twists and turns in an unanticipated way that even though we have calculated our whole life, plans do change. Maybe after all the good times of joy, Ajitesh had to face this reality one day of a sudden. As he sits silently on his chair and slowly strokes the pages of Hinaya’s journal, he would feel her closeness.

“ Your Mum was my best friend, a true love partner even though I never realised it until that day”. As tears kept rolling down the cheek, Ajitesh held Little Hinaya’s hands and said. – “Everything was wonderful until one day, she had a bad headache. But as usual she took her medicine and left the office early”.

“I didn’t call her thinking she might have slept early. But her messages never came the next day. I thought she might have overslept and will WhatsApp me once she reaches the office.”

Ajitesh’s voice became heavier as he continued.

“Suddenly, Mohan sir our Project head called me into his office. He seemed very miserable and shocked. He asked me did anyone from Hinaya’s home called me, because everyone including Mohan sir knew I was close to her. I nodded but was already filled with a shudder of anxiety and an unknown fear”

“Sir, did something happen. Is she ok? I didn’t get any call from her. Please tell me where is she?”.

“Mohan sir suddenly broke into a silent cry saying you need to go Hinaya’s home right now. I was more taken aback by this question why would sir say something like that.”

Ajitesh continued – “I didn’t ask any further more and rushed out of the campus at lightning speed. I don’t know when I reached her home, it was a deafening shriek of cries, did something happen to Uncleji or Auntyji, who is crying this loudly? I never thought it would be something unbelievable entirely. As I entered the hall, all I was able to find was Hinaya’s lifeless body. “

“It was like a lightning stuck through me. I was shocked, trembled and just sat down in a split second. It felt like something precious have left me in an unknown space. I couldn’t understand what to say, what to feel. I was entirely numb for the entire circumstance. But somehow I had gathered my senses, and went to Uncle and Aunty to help them go through the situation”

Little Hinaya was already in tears. “Then Papa? what had happened to Mumma”.

Ajitesh slowly patted little Hinaya’s head. “She had died in her sleep, Doctor said it was an early morning cardiac arrest. I just wouldn’t understand and in fact, believe how would a young woman of 35 would have such an issue. But life had its story to tell”.

“I still don’t believe in the fact that I lost your mum in the entire cacophony of my life, honey” – Ajitesh couldn’t bear his tears and was numb for minutes again. As little Hinaya helped her Papa wipe his tears, he resumed the saddening narration to his daughter.

“During her funeral rites, Auntyji, your Naniji, called me and said “Beta – you need to see this journal”. My hands were already shaking, but in some way, I felt I was near to your mum again. And as I opened a page, it wrote – “It was love at first sight” and several words of affection kept popping, and so was the frequency of my name.”

Little Hinaya kept gazing in shock and with a little happiness in her teary eyes. “So Mumma did love you, Papa.”

Ajitesh nodded affirmatively with a peck in her little grownup palms-. “It was her passing that made me realise all the love and feelings she had for me. Maybe this journal is the only way to feel her ardour for me. “

“Papa, so you too loved Mumma right”- little Hinaya’s box of questions popped again. “So was not your child, Papa?”

Suddenly Ajitesh held his daughter tightly and replied “you are a wonderful gift of Hinaya, sent from her special place, her heart, sweetheart. “ – with all his teary eyes in the ocean waves of emotions. 

Little Hinaya asked again- “No Papa tell me the truth”.

Ajitesh closed his eyes again and said, - “Honey it's true fact that you are my Hinaya now. You are not a love child, but rather a heart child. A child born out of someone’s unending gift of love left for me. For world, you are my adopted child, but you will always be my and your mum’s child, beta”

Maybe little Hinaya wasn’t that convinced. She asked again. – “So it is true then I was not born from you and Mumma?”

Ajitesh had to answer his 16-year-old inquisitive daughter’s question.

He replied- “ After your mum went, her journal was the only physical memory, I had, along with all cherished moments of amity I ever had. Her journal was the only thing that laid the foundation for real love between both of us. Madam Ji will always be closest to my mind and soul. No one else would have ever happened in my life’s entirety. “

Ajitesh added next - “So I decided to adopt a baby girl and name her, Hinaya, to always feel My Madamji’s love. So tell me now, aren’t you now my and your mum’s heart child. “.

Little Hinaya hugged her father tight, Ajitesh kissed his daughter’s forehead and silently whispered into thin air- “Please be mine in the next life, Madamji”. Ajitesh lovingly stroked the penned lines that Hinaya so adoringly mentioned in Ajitesh’s caricature and his name seemed to be the last memory she kept when she breathed her last. He had always felt it closer than ever, the unending love of his Madamji.

Love doesn’t have to be body proximity, love doesn’t have to have a proper base, channel, or societal standards. Society might ask 100 questions about your equations and base your mentality on life, which is ok don’t you think?? But Love, well if it’s beyond any definition of what the world’s ever made up of, it lies in the atoms and molecules of each space dust. Love travels at lightning speed, expands more than the Universe, and stays fresh even without any physical dimension. Love is transcendental.