Day One Without You

Pricky crystal light smoothed my hair as I shifted on my rock-hard bed. I turned to lie on my back and felt your wet, warm lips on mine, your hands held my head and brought it close to your chest. I wrapped myself around you tightly and took in your smell sharply. Kissing me everywhere you lift me and I snuggle up to you in your arms. 

People ask me how I wake up so ecstatically every morning so today I'm telling how. I get to wake up wrapped in your feels, your smell, your smiles and kisses, the sweet nothings you whisper in my ear, your voice, you. I walk up to my bathroom dreamily. I look up in the mirror and you're hugging me, your hands wrapped around my waist, nibbling at my neck. I love you. 

I get ready and you walk with me hands in hands to my college. You kiss me on my forehead at the gate and wish me luck for my day. I walk in so happy. The feel of your hand in mine, I smell of you and breathe your breaths, I wave to you and mutter your name. I sit in my classroom and every face I see reminds me of you, the noises, the words all swirl around me and it's you.

It's five. I know your classes get over. My legs turn involuntarily and now I'm at the station looking at the train which gets me to you. I want to call you and hear you calling me to you. I want to meet you and spend time in the park with you. I turn and come back. After all, you must be..somewhere...you couldn't call. 

I won't eat hostel food. Today I eat out with you. So, I order food. It sits in front of me while I imagine you licking your fingers, munching the way you do, looking at me in between and grinning and feeding me with your hands, enjoying the food like you enjoy life. The food has gone cold without you. I munch mindlessly. 

I sit down to study and the first word I write is your name. Then I study.... beside you. I pull the blankets over me and pretend to sleep. Because I can't. I can't sit, or sleep or lie or stand, I am hanging in the air, you're all around me. My first day without you.