Oh Onions!

"When will you leave this habit of extravagance?" I said keeping my peg on the kitchen slab. My wife says that I keep her kitchen always occupied. It is true to some extent. I had some doubt that Madam must have prepared her today’s speech for me after seeing the bottle of 'VAT 69' just opened by me now. If you want only to get drunk, what is wrong with 'Blenders' or 'Rockford'? Why do you buy such expensive liquor? You must learn to drink the best but less in quantity.. But today’s issue probably was something else

"Please take a little,” I said raising the plate with omelette prepared by me..

"Is it necessary to put so much onion? Rather, why should you put onion?" Eating a piece, Madam made it clear who the target was.

"What? Don't put onions?"

"Yes, what is wrong? Do you know the price of an onion? If you do the household chores you may know."

"Hey am I a Jain to eat omelet without onion?" Seeing me under attack I said laughingly. By the way, my wife got annoyed more at the price of a small onion than two eggs of Rs 7 each.

Frankly speaking, she was not wrong even though I did not buy them.Now a days there is more talk of onion than love seeing which you cannot be ignorant. Even amidst the news of rape, the more popular sport than cricket, the news of the soaring prices of onion is heard instead of GDP. Somewhere helmet wearing motorcycle riders were encouraged by providing them onions. While in some Assamese weddings cans of onion were distributed instead of sweets. I heard that in a blood donation camp in Surat, the donors were shown gratitude by giving one kilo of onion to each blood donor. From some dhabas, the onions had disappeared like horns on a donkey's head .The new brides shed less tears while cooking food these days.The target of thieves and dacoits had turned away from the money to onion.

On Facebook, some mischievous and vile people started putting pictures of food served in a plate instead of impressing others with photos of their tours, in which the entire focus was on chopped onion. There were so many mimes circulating on WhatsApp with the onion, the posts would not have been operational even after the removal of Section 370. The famous chefs were trying to rob the followers by telling them the recipe without onion.

On that day, the talk went the usual way. It was a Sunday, so I thought of keeping Madam away from the kitchen and prepare lunch myself which she always liked.This was to keep her a little happy. The thought was noble!

I brought the chicken last night. Madam does not eat it. Like a skilled housewife, I collected all the spices and prepared the rest. On a burner of the stove, I put lentils in a cooker on the first burner, the rice in the second, leaving the third, and the fourth was engaged to make chicken.

Placing the food on the table, I invited my wife from the bedroom who was deeply engrossed in TV. The food was good, everyone ate it with pleasure. Immediately thereafter as soon as the Madam turned around into the kitchen, I was called. By the way, I am not afraid of my wife - I have written this only with her permission.

After seeing it, Madam stood in such a serious posture with the onion basket as if she had come to see a relative hospitalized

"How many onions did you use for a half a kilo of chicken?"

"Two or three” Probably Madam wanted to understand the recipe. I breathed a sense of relief!

"Not two or three but three! I had kept it counted."

"Hey! Does anyone  keep a count of onions?"

"I keep it, do you have any objection?"

"Don’t you have any better work in life? And now even the onions have become cheap. I had read in the paper the day before that you will get a kilo for Rs 50-60."

"We will see when we get. But at present, the rate is Rs 30 to 35."

"See, it's cheap now. And how can we have better Achche Din than this? I was thinking that it was Rs 50 to 60 a kilo!"

"This is the rate of a quarter kilo. We get onion like this, Sir. I only add half an onion to vegetables these days and you ..."

The matter was once again going out of control. Like any wise husband, I immediately apologized for my mistake this time too! I promised that I would take full care of the things henceforth and will give full respect to this priceless vegetable and the décor of the kitchen.

A total reconciliation came after showing her a movie in the evening and a dinner outside.

THE END

हायरे... प्याज़! ★★★★★ 

Comedy Drama

 © Mohanjeet Kukreja

https://storymirror.com/read/story/hindi/zkt4nxgp/haay-re-pyaaz/detail

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