New Beginnings of New Year

When we think of new years, what normally comes to my mind is the whole lot of new things I would like to try. The things I missed last year, the festivals which come again, the... whole years just repeats again. The same routine, the same dates, with only a slight changes which are usually accepted. The new major things which happens like giving an important exam or going to new places, is something I am usually excited for and look forward to. But...the whole loop just repeats again. But, I want get out of this loop. I don't want to remove like the sun round and round, again and again and end up in the same place again.

Or celebration usually starts when adults ask us about our new resolution to the past mistakes we have done in last year. This is something I take seriously and I ponder deeply in it. I really do, trying to find out the things I have mutually done wrong. I make out a list and try to follow the same. It usually last for a couple of weeks and then eventually forgotten. This is what happens every time on my new years.

Now...when I think of this year's celebration, I have no urge to make a list. I would want to study more this year, or I would want to score good marks, develop a good sound understanding with my family and especially my brother, make new friends....the list goes on and on. What is the use? Sixteen years of my life have past, what more it could change in my personal life. Every years making the same list but never changing things ..this is what I have learned from my past whole life. Nothing changes unless and until you want them to change. It normally doesn't happen though.

I would really say that my life is changed when, something internally snaps in me, when I really have an urge to do something different, something making my life an unique one, something which I wouldn't forgot every time and will continue. I am waiting for this change to come within myself. I am not having the patience to wait but...in this case I really have that option only. 

Doing some major things in life is something most of the people decide on a prior bases. Like going in an competition or achieving this and that. I had that thing in me too until...I realized that planning the things don't go the way they are supposed to go. There is

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always some flaw in them and after encountering the same ..the high spirit, the hopes, the confidence just diminishes and vanish away in thin air. And it takes a hell lot of time to gain it back. My resolution would be to take decision on the spot and not dwell so much on the same. Day dreaming is one of the worst quality a person can certainly have. I don't want to do that again, like I said, like the sun.

I'm in no hurry to pass my life like an hurricane, where the winds first are slow and then speeding up and gradually slowing down as it hits the coast. My life is the same. I am born like the slow winds rising and then in my life everything makes an appearance so quickly that I can't digest it and eventually my life ends as quickly as it came. No, I want to enjoy my life just like a tree, a long one which experiences every thing with a calming patience which I absolutely seem to lack. I don't want destruction in my life but have a desire for a peaceful one. The hurricanes don't learn anything in their short span of life. They don't even realize the devastating cause they are for others. Trees do learn. They don't hurt. They have such a long life that...just by oberserving the things around them makes them wise. In particular, the trees have personality in them that make them stand out. Think of a cheery blossom tree standing in the middle of dried up trees. Yep, I want to become unique just like the cheery blossom one.

There is a new part of me that has arise by just deciding that I don't want to make a new year list and follow that goddamn tradition. This realization is my new year's starting. I would surely like to change things about myself but...I'm waiting for the right moment to come. I want to make mistakes and learn from them in a hard way. Then only I can value each and every thing that come in my way during this adventurous journey of life. Experiencing the things and then taking decisions is something I would like to prefer instead of doing it blindly. Or even when parents try to give advice... I don't want to heed it because I want to exprience it. So, I'm waiting for my year to start afresh. And many things like that will surely happen in future, as I'm hoping. I want to make my every new year very unique, just like the cheery blossom tree.