The Boy On The Roof

I am on my roof. Not to suicide mind it. I’m just here for some fresh air. But mostly I needed to think. Maybe…I shouldn’t. But I’m not ready for the decision my parents have taken.

My house is a two-storey house. And it has a terrace. The line in which I live has many houses the same as the one I live in. All the roofs are visible to everyone. Maybe this is what it does but… I suddenly see a boy on a roof.

I mean. C’mon. It’s not that I don’t see boys at all. I do. But this one… beside my terrace is something. The family beside us had just moved to this place a few days back. The way he had appeared so suddenly at the roof door made me look at him. Nice to see the boy utilizing the roof as his running base.

Wait… but is he running? As I looked in his direction I saw him running towards the edge at a full speed and I realized in a split second what was in his mind.

“Wait”, I screech and run towards my edge to come closer to his roof. There is a 10 feet gap between our roofs but I still yell, “What do you think of yourself? Suicidal person?”.

The boy comes to a halt. He had just reached the edge and was preparing to swing his leg over the sill. He stopped there, still trying to come up whether to answer me or not. I couldn’t see the expressions on his face nor I could see him clearly because the sun had set down but there was still a little light left. It was twilight.

“Okay”, I said, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry if I have really offended you but… nobody goes doing things like that in this neighborhood. I don’t want all the cameras swarming around me just because I saw a stupid boy jump off the ledge. That’s all. If you really want to die… I suggest you do it another way”.

That’s what I was thinking and that’s what I said. When it comes to speaking of my mind, I do it without any ounce of hesitation. But maybe… I should have said less this time. I was suddenly unsure if I said the right thing or not.

The boy slowly turned and looked at me. He backed off from the edge there and came near me. Near the edge where I’m standing anyway. As he came closer I got a good look of him – he was kind of tall and had broad shoulders. His not so long hair was whipping due to the slight breeze in the air and his green eyes stood out. I quietly gasped to myself. How could someone look so – so perfect and gorgeous?

The boy’s eyes raked through me slowly and rested on my face. I suddenly became very uncomfortable and needed air to breathe. Even if there was plenty of the same on the rooftop.

“Where would you suggest?”, he asked in his deep voice that reached till the center of my heart.

“What?”, I asked again not finding my trail to the question. I was still uncomfortable by his looking at me.

“I asked what would be the best idea to die”, he said and my eyes found his in an instant. I can see the uncertainty now.

"Why do you want to die anyway?" I ask instead. "Do you have a lot of depressing thoughts that you have the guts to die? Or is it some sort of heated moment?".

A flicker of surprise in his eyes. "Why do you even care?", he asked his voice rough.

"I'm not a human species who would let anyone die just because of a stupid thing. And it's not every day we see someone committing suicide", I said but suddenly I remember my best friend. The flash of memory did nothing to my words except to fill me with guilt and loads of sadness.

He looked at me in a contemplating way as if deciding whether to trust me or not. At last he said, "You are not going to tell this to anyone are you?".

I was surprised. He was going to share his private life with me. And it's not like I have anyone to share things with me now. I shook my head and said, "My lips are sealed".

He looked at the sky and said, "My mom is remarrying. And the guy is an absolute asshole. My parents had their divorce like 7 years ago. My father's married and living happily. But my mom... she dated like 100 men and she seem to like this bastard".

"Didn't you try to get along with him?", I asked not offering any pity. He must have had a lot of pity from friends, neighbours and teachers, etc. He should be tired of the same.

"I did. I wanted to give him a chance. But he seems to hate me. A lot. Even if I didn't do anything, he finds fault and beats me. My mother is totally under his influence. I really don't know what to do", he said and buried his face in his hands and looked away from me.

"What suddenly triggered you off?", I asked feeling thoroughly shocked at his future stepfather beating me.

"He suddenly discovered I had talent in drawing. He immediately told me to stop whatever I was drawing at that moment. I got furious and snapped at him. Well...he did what he does usually and I just ran from there. I couldn't take it more", he said his thin but flexible arms crossed across his chest.

"He is an asshole, I agree", I admit "I'm shocked your mom doesn't do anything about that".

"She wouldn't even try. We had a great relationship with each other. Now she just feels distant", he said and looked at me.

"I would say I'm sorry. But you look as if you're done with those", I said and giggled as his face took a picture of annoyance.

"Don't even try", he said and a hint of a smile appeared on his face.

"So, it was just a heat of the moment", I said sobering up "I'm glad I stopped you. But other than that asshole, you have other things to live for".

"Yeah? Like what?", his face turned irritated.

"C'mon you like drawing", I said “and the way you sounded while talking about it, it must be more than a hobby. What were you drawing by the way?".

His face softens and said, "I looked out of the window and found the sunset absolutely beautiful. I was drawing the same".

"I will want to see your drawing", I said with a hint of smile.

"I can do it right now", he said and took out a small book and a pencil in his hand. He was busy scribbling on the paper and I watched him do so. I suddenly had an epiphany - My best friend drawing on the sketch book and smiling at me as she showed me what she drew. Usually it was me only and I would exclaim and try to rip off the page.

"Look", he said snapping me out of my memory. I looked at the book and saw myself - my expression one of curious and smiling as hairs whip around me. Seeing that my eyes filled with tears and I choked, "I like it". The tears dropped on my cheek and I rubbed them away.

"Are you okay?", he asked and put away his drawing stuff. He looked at me with so much concern that it physically touched my heart.

I said, "When I said that I don't want to surround my cameras I meant it. Because I have been surrounded because someone committed suicide".

He sucked in a breath but remained quiet.

"My best friend - Mary", I said and my eyes filled with tears again blurring whatever was in front of me.

I continued, "It was very a long process. Her father had died when she was 4 years old. And her mother never coped up. She didn't marry again though. She turned to drinking a lot. And she used to beat the shit out of her. Usually when she sobered up, she would be so hungover that memories of her husband kept flashing to her. So, Mary had to take care of her mother. And she did it religiously. But somewhere things got out of control and... she came to live with me. At least at night. She couldn't face her at all".

"Oh dear", he said most shocked.

"Then there were these stupid school rumours. They said that she slept with one of the boys. But she never knew him even. The rumours spread and she couldn't do anything to that even. Most horrible truths would be posted and spread. Her only support was me and Anna. And she used to be so depressed at such times...she used to think of death. But then she would think it was silly.".

"But then...her mother also died. She should have been relieved. Instead she was wrecked. She kept blaming herself the whole time. And then one day...", I shuddered and looked down at my feet where I could still picture her. "I found her in my bathroom. With her wrists slit and a note besides it", and I sobbed. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed.

I didn't look up at him. I don't want to see the shock on his face nor I want to see pity.

"Hey", he said softly "It's okay. Shit happens. If I were you I would be glad", and I looked up at him to glare.

He looked at me in concern and said, " I mean, just look in this way. She was suffering. A lot. She had suffered her whole life. But in the end, she got to be free right? I know I would be sad but... after a while I would be very relieved for her. And all the shit ended and she would no longer suffer".

"But she would have lived for us", I said as my sadness gave way to anger "She loved to do drawing as you. She always used to draw me. She could have lived for her dream".

"Sometimes you have to let go", he said softly and I rubbed my tears. I looked at him and he nodded with a solemnness.

"Thanks", I said with a sigh "It was months ago. I still feel sad about the same but... I don't think I would be able to get over her. Even now when you were drawing I could picture her doing the same".

"You can't erase a memory. It would hurt. You have to toughened against the pain", he said with a smile.

I smiled and asked, "Thank you, brilliant adviser. If you remember you tried to do the same thing twenty minutes ago".

"Yes. But I think I found something worthwhile living", he said and an edge of hesitation crept in his voice.

"You know?", I said still smiling "Uh...by the way. I'm Jane".

"I'm Kyle", he said still looking at me. He cleared his throat and looked away. Then he said, "I suppose um...can we walk? I mean we can just meet down on the road, you know? it's just that this is weird and...".

I smiled and said, "I'm coming. See you in a few".

I went downstairs and stood out on the road. My mother didn't ask me any questions but let me go outside.

Kyle was standing outside my house and he said, "Hi".

"Hi...?", it came out puzzled.

"It's just that we never got to say a hi. It's the most important part of communication", he said smiling and my god. He smiled and it radiated his whole face and he looked even better close up. That smile was something I would kill for.

I cleared my head and said, "Shall we go somewhere?", and he offered me his hand.

We didn't exactly go anywhere we walked around our block only. The night was dark only supported by the light poles. Kyle's hand was warm in my hand and rather than feeling strangers we were walking as if we knew all our lives.

I didn't take time adjusting. It was like meeting an old friend and talking nonsense. But a feeling was growing inside...a warm fuzzy feeling... the physical intimidation... the lightness of my heart ...I knew I was falling for the boy on the roof. Judging by his expression too, he also knew he was falling in a hard way for me.

It came to a point until the feeling was too heavy. But I had to act mature. I just couldn’t risk a confession right now to jeopardise my college. After all, we are moving to another country for at least two years till I complete graduation. Something was gnawing at me inside and I wondered how Kyle would react if I told him that our newly-made friendship probably won’t even last a week. I had to start packing from tomorrow. My flight is in two days. After mustering every ounce of courage in my body, I said, “Kyle… I want to say something. It’s just that… I really liked our friendship but…”.

“But?”, his eyebrows crunching together to show concern.

“We are moving from here to another country. At least for two years”, I said squeezing his hand “That is why I came on the roof. To think. It feels disheartening to know that I’ve met such an amazing person but I cannot afford to build on this bond.”

“Jane”, he said and it made me stop. I looked at him and his eyes showed sincerity. “You know…you kind of attracted me in the first place. Since the moment you shouted to me… I knew that there was more in you. I wanted to know you so badly… it hurts. But, if you’re coming back I’m willing to wait for you”.

I was speechless. He was being such a gentleman; understanding the importance of moving away. I wanted to pull him in and embrace and whisper, “No Kyle, I am not going anywhere. You make me feel truly good about myself. How can I let you go?” But I was numb and paralysed. All the long years of hard work and perseverance flashed before my eyes. All those sleepless nights to get into NYC college on a hundred percent scholarship, I cannot let them go in an instant. I barely even knew Kyle properly. But he said he was willing to wait.

“Really?”, I asked my tears threatening to fall “But… I don’t want any kind of contact in between. I will come here, again”.

“I’m ready for that”, he whispered as he squeezed my hand back and my heart completely fell for him.

Two days passed in the blink of an eye and I never realised that two days is enough to make you fall for a person so hard. I was folding my clothes and checking my luggage for the last time as my thoughts led their way to Kyle. The way we strolled in the park, hand in hand, and sat under my favourite cherry blossom tree, talking about diverse topics makes the butterflies in my stomach flutter. Suddenly the knock on my door caught my attention and pulled me from my vivid dreams. I walked over and swung the door open to see Kyle holding a bouquet of white chrysanthemums. My favourite. He remembered. A wide smile spread across my face and I nearly jumped in excitement. He grinned and asked, “I hope you don’t mind an old friend checking on you.” I grabbed the bouquet from his hands and walked over to my dressing table to place it in an empty vase. I turned around and gasped to see Kyle standing behind me so effortlessly perfect. “It looks effortless but trust me it’s not” he whispered as he came closer. I could feel my cheeks turning red hot. I turned around to face the mirror and noticed how he placed his head right beside mine. We stood like a perfect couple. He slowly took his hands out of his pocket and wrapped them around my waist, planting a soft, delicate kiss on the side of my forehead.

This was the moment I wanted time to freeze. A moment of peace, serenity and love. I smiled as tears of content threatened to spill. In his deep masculine yet comforting voice, he said, “If the only thing I have to do to be with you for the rest of my life and have you by my side at all times is to wait, then I am ready to wait for an eternity Jane.”

TWO YEARS LATER:

I made through my college. They were amazing two years. I gained a lot of experience, learnt many new things, got a new job even. Everything was going perfect except…one thing.

I was back home after my two years in New York. My family had made a noisy appearance enough for the next door to notice my arrival. But…there came no knock. No flowers. I was so disappointed that tears threatened to fall down.

Kyle and me had interacted a few times in this span of time. Between his schedule and my schedule, we barely had enough time to talk. Yesterday I sent a mail to him that I was coming. But I received no reply.

Deep down in my gut I was broken. I had completely given my heart to the boy on the roof. I didn’t know what to do.

Frustrated, I went to the roof. It had suddenly become my favourite place in the world. The sun was just setting down as I opened the door to roof. I stepped on the roof and felt the cool air rushing through my face and teasing my hair. I looked at the beside roof, thinking maybe he could be there. But, no.

A wave of new disappointment washed through me. Maybe he found another girl, a conscious voice pricked my sense. A hot anger spread through my chest, driving away sadness. A new emotion – Jealousy – began to prick my senses.

Just as I was about to turn around and stomp through the stairs, a voice spoke, “Jane. I waited”. The same deep voice. The same richness in that same voice. The same voice which had reached the centre of my heart, it still did the same. It did more than that. A flush crept up my face and my heart beat faster. A swarm of butterflies were in my stomach and I pressed a hand there to stop it.

I slowly turned around and saw him. Kyle. Looking the same. The same height, the same dark hair, the same broad shoulders, and those same green eyes. His face wore a smile and we looked even better than last time. The hair on his head were dishevelled in the same way we had met in the first place. And in his hands were a bunch of flowers. White chrysanthemums. I looked him in eye and saw a hope in them. An anticipation that he was receiving a reward.

“Kyle?”, my voice came out all wrong. I was choked on my own tears.

He stepped forward and said, “I waited. For you. I never dated someone. Because whenever I see someone… I use to think of you. Every time a girl smiled or said something funny, my thoughts drifted to you. Because you are that sunshine in my life. You reached to me in my darkness and pulled into your sunlight. I was glad for that. But…there is this something in you that attracts to me so effortlessly”. He paused and came even closer to me.

I took the flowers and whispered, “You never came downstairs to meet me. I waited the entire day”.

“I wanted to surprise you. But then…”, he said is eyes glinting mischievously.

“I thought you had found someone”, I admitted and smelled the flowers and now whispered again, “You remembered”.

“I will never forget you, Jane. Whenever I see you, you make my heart beat faster than anything. You are my life. I won’t ever let you go. I’ll do whatever you what. Even if it is the stupidest task or whatever. If you want we can go to movies, or park or…”

I dropped the flowers and wrapped my hands around his neck. His muscles were taunt. As soon as I touched them, they relaxed. I whispered, “Kyle. My heart is yours. What about yours?”.

“Mine heart is yours”, he said and I pressed my lips to his.