Long Shadow Of Past

Friday evening - 

"Why keep raking up past? Why can't we discuss it normally?"Aliya sighed. "Why do we have to turn it into a screaming match every time we broach this topic?"

"Oh, you don't understand why, huh?" Sagar snarled. He then took a deep breath. His voice suddenly became soft but his eyes stayed angry.

"Your father is not welcome here."

"Why?"Aliya snapped. "Because he does not mollycoddle you. Right? Does not wipe your ass, right? Well, goddamit, go do it yourself."

"Wrong!" Sagar's face contorted with anger. "Because he keeps insulting me because he is a lot."

"Mind your language!"

"I won't."

Aliya saw red and slapped Sagar who froze. They had discussed Aliya's father a hundred times before and had argued horribly but never before had Aliya slapped him.

"Just like you, your father is good for nothing coward who hides in his house," Aliya screamed. "My father is a hundred times better man than you or your father."

"Why bring my father into this?" Sagar sounded deflated. Aliya had not hit him with force and yet his cheek was burning. Was it a shame? or was it impotent anger? Sagar knew he could not hit Aliya back. He would lie to everyone, even to himself, that it was his upbringing that held back his hand but deep inside he knew he was a coward. He took a deep breath to calm himself then walked away from Aliya who was still fuming.

Saturday morning -

Aliya felt very guilty. Sagar had not spoken with her after she slapped him. She tried to apologize but the words died in her mouth. She could not even think of how to broach the topic. 

"Hey, sorry! I hit you!"

It sounded flippant and crass and downright demeaning to Sagar. She wondered why she lost her control and got violent. She knew she had a wicked temper but she had learned to control it, learned to not let go and kick and slap and pummel the other person for it was wrong and hurtful. She loved her father to bits. She praised him all the time to all the people around her. Ever since she got married, she had consciously or unconsciously compared her husband with her father. She had been in awe of her father and she wanted her husband to be like her idol. Sagar was an easy going chap, someone who would be very happy in front of the TV with snacks and a cold drink. Her father, on the other hand, stayed out of the house, in his club, with his friends, enjoying whiskey and soda, laughing uproariously on jokes, dancing with gusto, throwing parties. Sagar, on the other hand, hated parties and tried to stay away from loud noise. Her father would take them movies every week. Sagar hated going to any crowded place. Last time around, when her father had come to meet them, he had wanted to take them to watch a superhit movie. Sagar wanted them to wait for one week so that the theatres would be less crowded. When her father had learned the reason why Sagar wanted to not go, he had laughed out loud. Aliya was sure her father did not mean to mock her husband. He always laughed that way but it had hurt Sagar. Aliya could not understand why Sagar was so upset about it but she had ignored him. Her father had come to meet her after six months or so and for her taking care of her father's needs was far more important than to handle her sulking husband. When her father was due to depart, Aliya wanted Sagar to take half day leave and to drop her father to the airport but Sagar had flatly refused. After her father had left, they had their first major fight. 

Now she stared imploringly at Sagar's impassive face. He was trying very hard to ignore her. 

"Listen, I am sorry." She said. Sagar did not respond. She tried again.

"We will inform papa that he should change his plans."

She had been feeling horrible since the previous night and after having said that, she started to weep. Sagar looked at her once quizzingly and then got up and left her alone. She cried for almost half an hour. For some reason, she kept feeling bad about having let down her father.

"Let your father come," Sagar handed her a glass of water. "I am sorry for creating this problem. I don't really mind his coming here."

Aliya took the glass of water and sipped from it. 

"I am sorry," She managed to say and then once again started to weep. Sagar wiped off her tears and told her that all was forgiven, that it was all his mistake. He had seen his father's marriage crumble and he had the first-hand experience of how badly it had hurt his parents. He had taken a solemn vow to save his marriage at all costs. He had been really hurt on being slapped but Aliya's tears had washed away his resentment.

"She loves me. That is why she is weeping for me."

One month later - 

Aliya was frantically pacing in the living room while waiting for her father to arrive. Sagar had kept his word and he never said anything about her father. There was peace at the home front. Sagar had refused to go to the airport though. Aliya wanted to go but her father's flight was going to arrive at 1 AM in the morning and it was not feasible for her to take a taxi at that unearthly hour. She paced in the living room while Sagar watched a news bulletin. She did not mind it. Ever since their horrible fight, they had learned to discuss matters amicably. They had learned to look beyond their immediate grievances. Their marriage had prospered. She understood that Sagar and her father were two different individuals with their own personality quirks. She no longer compared Sagar with her father. The moment she had dropped comparisons, she had started to see Sagar as who he was and she fell in love with him. The more time she spent with him, the more she loved him for his witticism, for his quirky sense of humor, for the way he cared for her. He confessed that he was feeling undermined by the constant comparison with her father and that was why he used to react so badly. She apologized profusely for her foolishness. They forgave each other and agreed to look beyond. She heard a taxi come to stop outside the house and got ready to welcome her father. She promised herself that this time it would be different. She would act as the bridge between her husband and her father. She needed both of them to be in her life and towards that end, she would take steps to not alienate either of them. Both of them went to open the door to welcome their guest.