Locked Down with New Plants

I never want to see plants again! Aunt Maureen decided it was time to go from ‘house’ to ‘green house’. She had read in some article that plants were good for health in this lockdown, they help with mental health issues, blah, blah, blah, and went all out with plants. I really don’t think you want to hear this one, but I’d like to narrate it, because its, really quite annoying, but hilarious too.

“I think I want a green house now,” was the demand of the day, courtesy of Aunt Maureen.

“Alright,” uncle said, grabbing a watercolor tube of green paint and an outline brush. “Kids go paint the house green. I need a nap.” “No! I want the house to be green metaphorically. I want to get new plants.” “What’s wrong with the rosebushes Maureen? They’re perfect. Now let me get that nap I want.” “Oh no, you don’t. You are going to drive me to the local plant store to get the dirt, plants, and pots we need. Understand?” “Yes ma’am,” uncle groaned.

We decided to make ourselves useful and highlight the places for the new plants. We got the old plants out, then made a circle in permanent marker on the floor, then made arrows on the wall and wrote, ‘new plants here.’ Yeah, it probably wasn’t that helpful. But it’s us.

Tamara wanted to get new flower plants. “I need new headbands. Where do you think all the roses go?” Oh, I can’t wait for aunt to realize that rover is innocent, and Tamara is gonna be in so much trouble! I wonder what her punishment is. Maybe she’ll have her makeup kit confiscated.

An hour later, uncle arrived staggering under the weight of the GINORMOUS bag of dirt, twenty plants, and a whole bag full of pots. Aunt was busy munching on strawberries. She saw what we did, and spilled dirt all over the carpet. Seriously. She was go shocked she stumbled and ended up kicking the bag of dirt out of uncle’s hands. We made her scoop it all up.

After lunch, we started work. Pepper was wearing a brand new, white jumpsuit, and didn’t bother to change out of it. Tamara took 35 minutes trying to find the ‘cutest’ gardening outfit she could find so that she could look good on Instagram. Whatever.

As soon as we began scooping dirt into the pots, we were blinded by flashes of light. Tamara didn’t bother to even get muddy. She just mooched off our efforts. We put the roses in a huge pot, and put it on the trolley to get it in. next were the dahlias, followed by 18 other types of flowers. My favorite was larkspur.

After we fought with twenty pots, wrestled the roses out of our cat, Pumpkin Pie’s mouth, ran away from wasps, and dealt with Tamara’s social media addiction (We confiscated her phone), we were in a condition to break for ten seconds. We still had do seeds. By now, uncle was sleeping whenever he got a chance. We left to make lemonade and came back to find uncle sleeping in the soil. Another time we found him in the bushes. Once he even went into the garden chairs, with a blanket and pillow. We woke him up with cold water and got back to work.

By the time, seeds were done, it was raining like a waterfall and all the soil had been removed from the pots. So we trekked mud into the house and pushed the seeds further into the soil. Then we went to get the trolley with the other plants on it. As soon as we entered the house, the trolley upturned and the mud spilled on the carpet. We sent uncle to get the vacuum cleaner, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be back before an hour. We set up an episode of last night’s ‘Phineas and Ferb’ and began to watch. After some time, aunt sent Tamara to see what was going on in the basement. But she didn’t come back either. After another episode, she sent Pepper in. by now we felt that the basement was haunted. So the two of us went in together. As soon as we went down, we saw what was happening. The door would close, and since the lock system was on a fritz, it was locking itself. So we were stuck here till then. I wonder when uncle will get that nap of his. Oh, he’s sleeping now. So, I wonder when we’ll get out of the basement.