Locked Down On Valentine's Day

Ugh! My least favorite holiday has once again returned. Valentine’s Day. It’s so awkward. Tamara, on the other hand, is enjoying herself no end. She is constantly getting phone calls and turning people down. So far, she has broken, like, 23 hearts. The triplets couldn’t care less. Rover and Pumpkin Pie don’t even know it exists. And Pepper, well she just has her heartbroken every year. Poor girl. But this isn’t about just one of us. It’s about uncle! His disastrous attempts to give aunt a special day left us all laughing. So here goes. Oh, I’m red just thinking about it.

“Hey, it’s five! Get up.” “Ow uncle you stepped on my foot!” “Well then whisper scream. You’re taking off my ear, little sis!” “Everyone quit it. We can’t afford to wake up Maureen.” The house normally isn’t this chaotic at 5 in the morning, but today, uncle woke us all up so we could start preparing a surprise for Aunt Maureen. I guess, in retrospect, to surprise a person who usually sleeps till 10:30 AM, waking up at 5 wasn’t really necessary. But, then again, this is Uncle Percy. It would be a miracle if we were ready by nightfall.

“Preheat the oven to 350°fareheigt,” Tamara read off of the cake box while making the cake for aunt. “Give me that! I'll make the cake, you guys blow up balloons and stick up the streamers.” Uncle, as usual, was determined to do the hardest task. Oh well. Yet another occasion wasted. But I don’t think you can blame aunt for this one. She doesn’t even know it’s happening!

By sunrise, the living room was ready. Streamers, roses, balloons, and all the other things. But where was the cake? We went into the kitchen. Uncle was dozing, face first in the batter. Tamara woke him up. He yelled, “It wasn’t me, I was framed!” “You can tell that to judge, sir,” Tamara played along. “Oh, it’s just you. You messed up the living room, didn’t you? Well, let me tell you, my cake went perfectly. P-E-R-F-E… oh who am I kidding, I burnt it. So I’m making another one. Help me!” “Well now we aren’t sure we want to,” Tamara said, annoyed. “Please? Please, please pretty please? Oh, come on how much do I beg? I’m doing my puppy dog eye look!” We caved. Uncle CAN NOT fail when he’s doing that convincing puppy dog eye look of his.

I set up the oven and went to check in on the flowers. Tamara made the frosting. Pepper was helping uncle grease the cake mold. I came ten minutes later, and my face said it all. The flowers we booked for 7:30 in the morning, were actually booked for the evening! As was aunt’s new guitar. Oh god, help!

At around 7, we checked into the cake. It burnt again. “I heard Maureen getting up, just coat it with frosting. So what if it's burnt velvet instead of red velvet? It’s the count that thoughts.” We went to check on the frosting. There were powder and milk, lying unmixed. The maker was nowhere to be seen. Where was she? Doing her makeup. I swear, the first chance I get, I will destroy that kit. Part of our disasters happens because of that. “No time just gather some flowers from the garden and give them to her. AND DON’T LET HER SEE THE KITCHEN!”

We ran like our lives depended on it. Pepper got the plastic and ribbons. I gathered the flowers. Then we wrapped it up and presented it in any way we could. Uncle was trying to save the cake. We went into the living room to arrange the bouquet. Uncle came in with a partially frosted cake. At least you couldn’t tell it was burnt. Just as we were setting it up, an aunt came in. “What’s everyone doing up so early?” uncle turned sharply and slipped on a balloon. The cake broke, went flying, and fell on aunt. “Mm, red velvet, my favorite.” Well, I guess it did work. In that crazy, Uncle Percy way. Well, now I gotta survive the rest of the day. Help me!!