Is Love an Object
Is Love an Object3 mins 565 3 mins 565
Little did I know about myself in this strange terrain of love. I was following my heart wherever it was taking me.
One day he was the most familiar person on earth who knew me more than I knew myself and the other day a complete stranger mocking at me. One moment he was all mine and the other moment a complete stranger. One moment he had chosen me and the other moment he was hard to get kind of person. One moment I was the most special person and the other moment I had to compete to become special. One moment he offered me an unsaid promise of love and the moment I could feel it he withdrew it and blew it in the air.
I was living a life full of happiness and fear of losing my newfound happiness. Constant fear of losing him gripped me tightly.
I was so overwhelmed with this fear that often I thought maybe the pain of losing him would still be manageable but this fear was very disturbing.
Amongst the few times I had gone out with him to nearby restaurants there was always this air of mystery. The possibilities of losing him were always alive and it was understood that I had to compete and prove myself worthy of his love. Something I had never done all my life. I had only competed in entrance exams after hard work with full dedication. I had never competed for love.
In my childhood days my Nani loved me in her own special and beautiful way though I felt she loved my cousin more but it never bothered me because her love was enough for me. After my younger sister was born my mother gave her all her attention and love and though I sometimes felt so in a way of knowing it but it never bothered me because I loved her and my sister. My father loved my sister in a very affectionate way and expressed his love for her in many ways and I accepted it as a fact of life. He loved her because she also reciprocated in a loving way whereas I was always a little reserved and silent type.
Love is not an object to be fought or competed for. It's a natural feeling of oneness and togetherness. My definition of love is different maybe. I could never compete for love though I would do everything possible to bring a smile on the face of the one I love.
I would use every drop of my sweat and blood to make things easy for the one I love and in return I expect a little acceptance and recognition of my efforts. A loving acceptance of my way of loving.