I write love poems

" I had a crush on you, I wrote poems and everything", I finally told him. We were at a friend's wedding sipping cocktail ,seated next to each other, pretending we still talk everyday just like we used to. But then, with some people, it's just so easy to fall in track, no matter when you had your last serious conversation.

He looks at me, hoping I would say more. But I was trying to figure out the coloured expression in his face that passed by, way too quickly. 

"So, then what happened?" He asks genuinely curious and I just smile.

I smile because the reason doesn't matter anymore. I smile because the reason could have been a mere question of choice - to choose between somebody else or me. It could be not knowing if I could bear the weight of 'Love', commit to it and never look back . It could also be a simple case of 'I don't want to end up in a awkward place with you". I smile because the reason could be one of many or all. 

 We look at each other, smiling just like we used to. Our conversation slides back to the familiar old things and I am reminded of how I came to love you in the first place and how I still like you for all that you are. 

I am glad. I am glad I finally told you. I am glad I could get it off my chest with no expectations or a promise.

May be some relationships are better off unsaid and not acted upon. May be some are better off the way they are. There could always be "If"'s in play. But then, there are things you have to do for you, because sometimes in life, love alone won't do.

But

I still write poems about you,

about love, friendship and if's,

And for now,

I think that would do.