I Think I Am In Love Sweetheart

It was eight O’clock on Sunday morning. I left my bed in the early morning as it’s in my habit whether it’s working day or week off, I always wake early and ready to do all my house chores. I was in my kitchen when I heard my phone is ringing. To know who was calling me, I ran towards the bedroom. I saw an unknown number is flashing on my mobile screen and it was WhatsApp call.

I picked the call in few seconds…. Hello! Who is this?

Hey Ananya! How are you?

You didn’t recognise me. I am your old friend Dheeraj. 

Who????

Who is Dheeraj? Who is Dheeraj in my friend list. I don’t know any Dheeraj. And I hung up the call. 

Again message pops up on WhatsApp screen. Hey Ananya! Maybe you didn’t recognise but I have your number for the last two years. We have talked two years ago on snapchat. My name is Dheeraj as I told you earlier. 

Okay, Dheeraj…. So what do you want from me? I could remember about our previous conversation and I couldn’t remember that for what we have talked there and why our conversation ended there and why you have called me today?

Ananya please listen….. We were friends and we are friends and we will be. I think you also couldn’t remember that I am a doctor.

Okay! So what? You are a doctor and why are you saying this to me? 

Ananya, please listen, you are taking me in a wrong way. I am a psychiatrist and I can understand your situation. You looked very depressed in a way you are talking and you are presenting yourself. Please try to understand Ananya, I am not here to hurt you, but if you can share your problems clearly, then I can cure you for sure. Just you have to share your problems and you have to heart out to your problems. If you can’t share it with anyone, then it will be very harmful for you and your health.

Mmmmmmmmm…..

There was pin drop silence for few seconds. Again he continued…. Please Ananya please…tell me what’s your problem? 

I thought for few seconds and again he asked few questions related to my health. His questions had such power that it triggered on my mind and it’s changed my thoughts and perception against him. He was asking one by one and I was giving answers of his all questions. I couldn’t understand what happened to me at that moment? I was feeling restless. I was feeling helpless yet I had some hope for myself. It seems like I got someone who could cure my issues. It seems like God has sent to him for me in a form of a doctor. There was hope in my eyes. There were several expectations in my heart. I could realise that one day I will come outside from the darkness of my life which surrounded me for several months and years. And it also changed my feelings, my perception, my way of talking and behaving with others. And I still remembered that our talk lasted for few hours. For the first time I had a talk with a stranger for such long hours. And I was sharing all the sits of my life with someone to whom I didn’t know personally and I haven’t met a single time in my life. But talking with him gave me a temporary satisfaction to my heart and the happiness of getting someone very close was twinkling in front of my eyes. From the person to whom I didn’t want to talk to changed my attitude in just a few minutes and I was feeling very special and close to him. How several hours passed just talking to him over whatsapp call that I didn’t realise. 

And our conversation lasted when someone from behind asked him for lunch. Then we hanged our calls at that moment and promised each other that we will talk again soon or maybe in the evening. 

Before we bid adieu to each other on call, he asked me for my other phone number because, on my WhatsApp number, he couldn’t place a call. 

I have him my calling number. We promised we will talk in the evening. And we hungd up the call just escaping for our lunch.

I was making tea in the kitchen and song was playing on my mobile “Sun Le Jara”………I was enjoying song and gazing the steam which is coming out from the tea. Suddenly, my mobile started vibrating on the slab.

Uff my mobile always started ringing whenever I am enjoying my favourite song. Who the hell called me in this time???

It was call from Dheeraj. I was not in a mood to receive. But my finger slipped suddenly on the screen and the call accepted.

As we have promised to talk in the evening, our conversation again started on time.

Yes, on the same day our conversation lasted in several hours. Till then I didn’t accept him as my friend. Only I know he is my doctor. Only he could treat my problem. And in this time our conversation started out of track. Yes, this time he has discussed nothing important related to my illness. But our conversation started on personal talks. 

I am a shy type of girl and I couldn’t share anything related to my personal problems with anyone. But I didn’t understand what type of quality God has given to them. How hard will you try to escape from the reality? They will catch you. You can’t leave unsaid your problems. 

Yes, same thing happened that day. He was asking questions one after the other and I was answering all those. I didn’t even realise how time passed and it was 9 O’clock in the night. Now it’s time to have dinner. We bid adieu for dinner and promised for a conversation on WhatsApp.

Yes, I loved talking to him. But another side of fear was still haunting me. Thousands of thoughts were running through my mind. I couldn’t accept what’s going on in my mind? What’s I am doing is wrong or right? I have to talk to him or not.

In all these thoughts I couldn’t sleep that night. In the early morning, I felt sleepy. And I slept in my dreams. Suddenly my phone started ringing and I checked it was call from Dheeraj and time was 9 O’clock. The sun light was coming from my window and falling straight on my body.

Hiii Ananya, “Good morning.”

How are you?

I woke up rubbing my eyes and said, Good morning…

I think you were still sleeping. At the wrong time, I called you. But for a good health it’s not a time to wake up.

Freshen up right now. Okay, I will do later.

 And our conversation started and lasted for several hours for few days in the same way. He forgot he came to treat me and he will share some medications to cure my anxiety. And I forgot he is my doctor. Our conversation was only on general topics and sometimes he asked some funny questions and shared some funny messages.

One day unexpected thing happened. He called me in morning and he said, i couldn’t sleep the previous night.

I asked why so? Then he said, because I was floating in a dream of someone. I started loving someone. But I didn’t know to whom I love. Maybe I will be loved for the same.

I asked in curiosity about whom you love. 

He said, i am loving the same girl to whom I am talking right now.

I was numb. I couldn’t understand what to do and what to say? I was nervous. One side, I didn’t want to fall in love. Another side i didn’t want to break someone’s heart. 

And another thing the way he was talking was not, he was confessing. But it was surety from his side that one day I will marry you.

Seeing me silent, he asked what happened? You didn’t like me. Maybe i am not good-looking but I am very honest and romantic person. I assure you I could take care of your problems. I am a doctor and with a good earning capacity. You will be happy along with me.

It was very tough for me to react to his behaviour. I was enjoying his company. I know he was good in behaviour. But I didn’t want to go against my family. We were from same caste but we were from different states. Our culture differs from his culture. May i fit for his expectations and for his family’s expectations. A lot of thoughts were running through my mind. I was cursing myself. It would be better if we couldn’t meet each other. All these thoughts were pushing my blood fast inside my heart. One problem was not over yet. Another problem came to hurt me again. 

I was not in a mood to talk to him. I was sure after thinking about my problems that i couldn’t continue our friendship for long if he gave the name of our friendship to relationship. It’s not so easy for me to accept this proposal.

After that day, I couldn’t talk to him. Whenever he called me, I said busy in some works and will talk to you later. And this attitude of me continued for fifteen days. 

When one day he called me and said, Ananya I am leaving my job. Even I will leave Delhi. I was shocked by what happened to him suddenly. I asked him about his future plans. He said, Yes I know I am a doctor but now I don’t like my profession. 

Why so???? What’s your problem Dheeraj? 

I know some people love me and treat me like God but some people know what they are doing. They are abusing us. They are beating and torturing us and our family even in their mistakes. I hate this job now. 

Okay, Dheeraj, it’s your choice and I can’t argue with you for your decisions. But just I want to ask you one question. If you resign from this job, then what will you do? Because you have invested your five golden years in this medical degree. Now you are leaving this job. Then have you any idea what will you next?

Yes Ananya, I have taken this decision and came to this point only after thinking a lot about my career. And I have been an Army Officer. Because for me nation comes first, then anything. “My life is for nation because nation is my life.”

Okay then, if you have taken the right decision, then move ahead with positivity and enthusiasm and do whatever your heart says to you. May you achieve your goals and achieve heights. I wish your dream come true.

Thank you Ananya. Thank you so much for best wishes. And yes, thanks a lot for accepting my decisions for life. 

Yaaaah, of course Dheeraj, if you want to serve for nation then go right now for your preparation. Don’t make any excuses just keeping me in between your career and relationship. 

No Ananya, it’s not a way…….. I swear that one day, I will marry you for sure. Just wait for few years. One day, I will be an army officer and you will be an army wife. You will enjoy your life in heaven.

I will start my preparation for CDS and will crack it within one year. 

Okay, Good Dheeraj, go ahead for your dream. 

I will talk to you later.

Bye…….…

Bye….Ananya.

We have not talked for several days. As he was busy in preparation and I was busy in my entrance examination. Now we hardly talk to each other one phone calls like earlier we do for several hours in a day. Sometimes, he pinged me on WhatsApp like good morning and good night messages and our conversation like this continued. 

One day, he called me in the afternoon. It was Sunday. He came from his coaching after test. We were talking about different stuffs and our few days remaining conversation were exchanged. 

Suddenly, he asked me for my birthday. And I said the date in a hurry. 

Do you know what he said about my gift?

He said, I will give you a gift which will be memorable moments for you throughout your life. 

I am confused. What will he give which will be memorable?

I asked, sorry’ I didn’t get.

He said, Baby….I will take you to the ball party of IMA. 

I was confused. What is this ball party? 

IMA means also I got confused… 

I thought IMA means Indian Medical Association.

But I was wrong…..

According to him, IMA means Indian Military Academy which is in Dehradun.

And the ball party is organised for military trainees in every season of training after their completion of training program. It is a very nice party for them in the whole training program. They are waiting for this day for several months. Trainees called their partners at this party and enjoying a lot.

Okay, I got it. But Dheeraj, why you will call me at this party? I am not your girlfriend, fiance or wife. 

Ananya, I know about your decisions. But I know very well that one day your decision will change. I accepted you as my future wife and I can’t change my decision. I swear one day when I will be an army officer no one can change my decision. And I will come to your home and take your hands from your parents. You can’t deny that day. Just wait and watch.

Ohhhhhh Dheeraj, you are so confident.

Yes, offcourse……

Whatever I have decided in my life. I did all those. And for our marriage too, I am totally confident.

Okay, fine. I am waiting for you. What will you do?

Ha…ha….ha…..ha….ha……

I can’t control my laugh at your stupidity. 

How can you marry someone who is not agree to marry you? Who is not agree to live with you? If you can do it forcefully, then will you get your love back? I didn’t think so ………

Ananya who said, I will marry you forcibly. I know what my heart says. My heart is beating and says, you will fall in love with me one day….. I am sure. You will come very close to me one day. I am waiting for it…….

Okay, let me go now……..

I will see you soon…..

Okay bye……

In November, he has to appear in CDS examination. He has to appear in this examination in several stages. He was busy in preparation. So, there was no option for our conversation. In the last two months, we hardly talk to each other. In these months i came to know that he is very serious about any decisions that he has taken. And for CDS, he is very serious. So he was preparing for this examination with no options left turned. 

But do you know what? How hard you are? How hard you will try to show yourself in front of others? How hard your heart is? One day it will melt for sure for someone. Yes, in all these days, I was feeling alone in my life. I was feeling very nervous. And i thought the problem of loneliness and depression was increasing. I started thinking about him. I started dreaming about him. In those days i made a special corner in my heart for him. I want to talk to him. But I couldn’t do that just for my ego and attitude. I didn’t want to push myself in his love so that i have to trap in his love and affection. Because it will be very dangerous for me in the nearby future. 

So, i kept quiet. But it’s not so easy for me. Whenever I opened my WhatsApp, i always searched his chats and messages whether or not he has sent any message. But all went in vain every time. I always checked his last seen. Sometimes his DP but he has not saved his own photos in DP. His DP was of tricolour. I felt restless. I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn’t. It was very hard for me to handle the situation.

One day, I gathered all my courage and pinged him on WhatsApp. Whole day he didn’t revert me back. At night he has seen and called me back. 

And he asked, Hii Madam, you missed me a lot. I said you earlier that one day you will be mine. And this entire universe conspires in the same way to get your love in the way you want it in your life.

I felt ashamed as I caught red-handed. No….no… I didn’t miss. I just wanted to ask about your preparation..

“Ohh! Good……”

Thank you for asking Ananya. 

My preparation is going well, and I forgot to tell you, I have cleared preliminary exam and also got succeed in SSB.

“Ohhh wow! congratulations…..”

Then for which examination now you are preparing for??

Yah I am preparing for CDS right now…. There are several stages in this exam. So, I am preparing for it.

But tell me one thing. “Did you miss me or not?”

“Please Ananya tell me honestly.”

“Ummmmmm…..”

“Yes…”

Yes Dheeraj, I missed you a lot. But not in a way you are thinking.

Oh, nice joke dear…. 

You missed me, but not as a lover. 

Then what way you missed me?

“Yes, as a friend.”

Okay, fine as a friend hi sahi pr tumhe ek din mujhse pyaar bhi hoga ye mujhe pta hai. I am sure about it.

But you missed me a lot in these days. Then what will you do when I will be in training for a year. There will be no mobiles there during the training period. What will happen on the outside I won’t know.

I was silent for a while. I didn’t think about what to say and how to react? Our conversation ended there for that day.

We have not talked for a few months. I was living only in his memories and scrolling his messages on WhatsApp chat.

Two months later, he called me that his dream came true. Now he will be an Army Officer. Before that he will go for a training program. But before that he wanted to meet me. I was not sure what to say and what to do? Just congratulating him I ended the conversation in the middle. When he called me back, I said there was network error from my side. Still, there was silence from both sides. 

Hey Ananya! What happened to you? Have you any problem? Why are you not talking to me? Have you any problem?

“No……no problem.”

“I am fine.”

Then where are you busy?”

You are behaving different. Are you not happy with my results?

Why?? What are you saying, Dheeraj? 

Why I won’t be happy with your results?

“I am very happy.”

Then why are you silent today?

No….. Something is running in my mind.

What’s running through your mind?

That’s I don’t know.

“What??”

You don’t know.

Just try to concentrate on your mind and think what’s your heart and mind says to you? 

“Ummmmm……”

Have you concentrated?

Yes……

Then what you got in answer?

It says “I am love in love with you.”

“I think I am in love with you sweetheart.”

“What?? Wow!”

Your heart finally spoke the truth. I got double century. What a miracle of God happened today. I got two good news in my life.

“Thank you God. Thank you for everything.”

Ananya so, when will you meet me? I want to meet you in this week. Because next week maybe I have to join the academy.

Okay Dheeraj meet me on Thursday.

Okay, good….

Tell me about venue and time for meeting. I am going to book a flight and will be there soon.

Okay, I will inform you soon.

Today is Thursday…. We both met in KFC which is nearby to Kolkata airport. At right time we both arrived there. Dheeraj was already there and was waiting for me. We met each other and enjoyed our company for four hours. Enjoying in KFC and in a park. It was a time for the eventual departure for both of us. As he had to go for arrangements to go to academy. We hugged each other. We were very close to each other and clearly listening to the lub and dub sound of our heart. Once again he asked, Ananya please say what your heart is saying to me.

Yes, I think I am in love with you, sweetheart. He kissed me on my forehead and demanded the same. I also kissed him. It was 6 O’clock in the evening. He had flight at 7 O’clock. So, we went to the airport. We reached on time and he went for security check-ups and last time we hugged each other and said happy journey to him and I moved towards my home after meeting my love for the first time.