Hope

"Sharada, we'll be live in another ten minutes and you are completely horrible. My god, what have you done to yourself. Clean up that mess immediately and get into another new outfit. Quick! Quick!" said my boss who was as hot as a pressure cooker with rage.

" Yes, Neeraj Ji. I will," said I. I am completely tired of the way this man keeps screaming at me all the time. I am too tired of working for this man who is screams and behaves like a bulldog, half of the time. But what to do, I am not working here because I am passionate about it, it's my financial circumstances and my responsibilities that have pushed me forward to work here for a living. I am not Sharada, I am Surabhi. I have heard people say that life has its twist and turns stored for every individual's life to deal with but in my case, it has been completely different. To talk about me, I will have to trace back to about 23 years back. I was born in a small village in Gorakhpur, Odisha. My dad was a really prosperous businessman and my mom too came from a well-off family. I and my sister were enrolled in a convent but Hindi medium only. My parents had enough amount of money in their pockets to get us enrolled in a CBSE school but this decision was not even given thought as my uncles and aunts didn't want us to get high-class education that their kids were forbidden from getting. My dad was a real-life loving man who spends nearly 1000 rupees every day on his pakoras and ladoos. Back during those days, every weekend my dad will get me and my sister Suyannala Medu vadas that I like the most. In fact, if you want me to be friends with you all that you will have to do is buy me 2 plates of hot Medu Vada. 

Arre! I can understand what you feel. He was not like that. My dad, Madhoopal was a really stubborn, angry man. He gets angry too often and starts cursing you with hurtful words. I promise that if you are the victim of my dad's cursing the next moment you will hang yourself up in the fan. Yup!! He was a man who never realized that words are too powerful not only to change the world but also to dig a person's potential deep down in the soil. But such situations never actually happened. He helped people a lot. In fact, you can call my dad a self-centered person in case of food, enjoyment, and luxury but he was a selfless person in sharing his wealth with the needy. Of course, he fed us well, gave us all the mediocre luxury we would need but he was a person who will kill you with his behavior of being suspicious of you. This you no other than me, Surabhi. But I was my dad's favorite. I still remember those days when my dad used to sit in a cushioned chair, and I used to sit right below him with my hair oiled and plaited counting bundles of currency notes. I was like his personal assistant those days but I couldn't rely on getting direct affection from him in any manner. During those times, men were like that. They couldn't actually express up their emotions properly.

On the other side of the same coin, I had my mother. My mother, Vasanthi never liked me. She wanted to kill me as a fetus before I was born but the kind-hearted doctor over there in the hospital gave me some tonic to grow fresh and healthy. Secondly, she hated me because I looked kind of like my dad. You know my dad was kind and all that but was very harsh in treating my mom but it is this same man who treated my mom with all the luxuries he could afford. He never liked to stay in a place where my mom is not respected. My mom was a really self-centered person. She would have told me about a hundred times that she doesn't like me at all. There were times when my mom's relatives would come over to our house and everybody gifted and showered love and compassion to my sister and ignore my presence. I have always had a huge thirst for my mother's love which is not available to me till today. 

My only companion during my young days was the white gleaming moon affixed on the sky. I used to spend hours crying about my sorrowful conditions. Sometimes you cannot understand the pain faced by that person until and unless you picture yourself in that situation. Well though nobody on my mother's side like me, my friends were my great source of support. When I was 15 years old, my dad got affected by a stroke attack and had to spend thousands and thousands of money to cure him. Our financial status from the high middle class deteriorated. I suffered from depression and as a result of which I suffered from hair damage and hair loss. But by the time I was 16, things turned out to be normal again which doesn't mean that the problems I was put forward with come to an end. My dad's health gets fluctuating. One day he seems to be fine whereas the other day he seems to suffer due to one or the other symptoms. 

I was a studious student. I used to score full marks in all the subjects till 8th grade and also got top grades in school especially in maths. But since my dad's health deteriorated and my family situation worsened, I was put under great stress, and as a result of which I didn't top the class in class 10 but got great grades. I got 97% in 10th grade and topped the class scoring 98.5 percentile that too opting for commerce. I studied in a girls convent from Grade 1 to 12 but I got enrolled in a Co-ed college. My dad will attain the first position for being the most suspicious person in the world. He feared that I might get used to the unusual practices in the surroundings and as a result of which he doesn't even give me money to buy my books. I had to write down all my textbooks into my notebooks and had to study like that. My pain and sufferings that I faced for 36 months all together did fetch me a gift. I was a gold medalist and also got sponsored to complete my post-graduation but I preferred doing my PGDCA instead of M.Com as knowledge about computers was not instilled in the young minds through schools. We had to help ourselves with those type of extra knowledge. 

But my dad, unfortunately, refused to pay for my fees and I had to tutor students through a private tuition center to pay for my education.

Time went by and I was 22. My sister, Suyannala got married and that rakshas abandoned my parents by ripping off all the wealth they had and left them helpless. My dad's health was also worsening. My mother tried to hide away all the mistakes my sister did in front of our near and dear ones. I also was ready to tie knots and expected that my pathetic life of trouble, anxiety, ignorance, and negligence will end by then. My spouse, Natu Rasu Khan seems to look very innocent but he thinks very down and low about women. For the first four years of my marriage life, I used to get beaten up brutally by my ill-natured husband. I couldn't speak about this to my mother as she didn't like and wanted me to suffer. I couldn't discuss my pains and troubles with my father as he was ill and both of them were dependent upon my salary for their survival. Though my husband is ill-natured, he doesn't compromise in doing his duties but for that, I have to beg him to do so for hours.

I work in Parkinson's as a reporter for a meager salary. I don't enjoy many advantages in this company as they make their employees work like an ox. I have to work every day despite my disliking as I have to pay for my dad's dialysis and his nourishment. My only scope of light is my daughter Viki kutty. I don't...

" Hey Sushmitha, stop daydreaming and come up here. We will be starting soon" said Natu 

"Su...re," said I 

Well, this is my present-day story. Will my condition ever change??

Keep me in your prayers.....

I hope, one day or the other I will see a scope of light.