Biasedness
Biasedness
Yes it's a bitter truth , but it's true !
Some children are different, not disabled or brainless but they don't fit into that particular family. They are different than other siblings. Such incidents came across , from the surrounding also we read about it since childhood . That make me think that how can it be possible? And why is it like that ?
Parents' love especially Mother 's love is always same for all children or rather she take more care of a weak child . Child that is not smart like other siblings. What if there is an opposite situation ???
Because a mother want to push her smart child , good looking child , present them in front of society saying these are my children, they are clever, smart , good looking and you know like representing the family in real sense and the one who is innocent, a bit slow may be and not smart so pulling him so that he is not noticed, not to give that child more exposure because he is actually not representing our family .
This is biased and very selfish kind of attitude of parents or either parents who have more control at home . Being practical to stand ahead in the race and competition in outsiders, in locality that they are staying , in office circle , in the circle of society that they are part of .
I find myself lucky that we all five siblings got same love , affection , care from both the parents .
There are unfortunately families where this situation was not there , now may be with education and awareness parents have broaden their outlook towards their children or say towards the society .
And now most families have two or three children but few years back we could find many families where there were even more than three children, some parents had even more than ten children.
There are always two effects or alternatives in any such cases where one or two children got less attention, less encouragement and love from both the parents or either parents , and they remained behind or few turned this into opportunities. The hatred , biased behaviour , insults made them tough and arose a fire within them to turn their luck or rather their bad luck into their inspiration to show their worth .
Let me talk about the negative effects and the description in parents and even by other siblings how it ruined the future of victim .
There was one family where there were seven or eight sisters and one brother. Naturally there were adjustment , early need of earning money to survive and to get married. Father was strict and having some false ego and was still proud that all my daughters and son are fair in complexion and good looking. Except the middle one was a bit dull kind physically I mean not smart or good looking and one was not fair.
All siblings had good bonding but the middle one was bit sensitive, health wise also was not that strong. She used to not talk much and being sensitive and naive by nature she got affected seeing her parents struggle in raising them , her father 's ego and bossy behaviour in house .
Her lame behaviour and appearance became a reason where even her younger sisters used to not respect her and she used to became a object of fun and laughter by other siblings. She was always suppressed and this could have turned into depression, that affected her studies.
Rest elder three and younger sisters completed their education, started earning by job they got , all got married. Brother was always pampered and got more attention in family . So this middle daughter Maya too got married but in so so family, with so so husband . In future she fell sick and had health problems so her life was not as good as her other siblings.
One more such family which was very big . More than ten -eleven siblings in total .They were liberal family where love marriages were allowed. So after studies , few of them got job . Some chose their own life partner and parents given them permission to get married.
One daughter named Nilu who was not smart and even was not good in studies though fair and looks wise was ok but she got some problem in her first marriage which was an arranged marriage so she had to live at parents house which didn't got her respect, attention and importance in family. In Second time marriage she got mismatched husband but luckily her son was very good looking and intelligent. But due to some problems in their joint family at in - laws house her son's life ended up to be miserable.
Now there are some examples where such adversity and biased treatment which they took into their stride to some extent and proved themselves.
Any child can get affected when they get uneven treatment by parents. Some of them become quiet , dull in studies and in their behaviour . There is no one to listen to their complaints . They get less love and affection as compared to other siblings and this makes them depress to some extent.
So one such child who was eldest amongst three siblings named Shailendra was not that intelligent in studies or his inclination was not in studies. Other sister and brother were good looking compared to him . Also were neat and tidy in their appearance so shailendra 's mother used to always scold him , she never used to show her love whereas her behaviour with other two children was good . Daughter as such gets married and leave parents house so she is taken good care as far as food and clothing is concerned. The smaller one is loved because he is youngest of three , also good in studies and was smart too .
Shailendra's father realised that his son is not much interested in studies but if I give him a musical instrument and some training from artist he can do well so he bought a musical instrument for him and Shailendra proved himself good in playing that instrument so started earning through participating in music shows alongwith a band . Because he was not very educated he got less educated life partner but his son changed their life and destiny also changed. He got his due respect in family gradually .
One more couple had only girls and no son . There used to be quarrels between husband wife . Wife was abused and beaten but those little girls always stood by mother's side . One of the daughters had faced some unfortunate incidence when she was very small and that ruined her looks . There was a lack of love and favourable atmosphere in family.
This girl completed her schooling and she was sent abroad to stay with her relatives so that she can get some small job and could earn and get married. Her relatives supported her well so she got more educated there and got a job and got married into good family.
I think it's very unfortunate in our society where parents get status conscious, enter into competitions with others , keep wrong family concepts , false ego and do things to show it to outsiders and knowingly or unknowingly their behaviour towards any of their children affect the life , childhood of that child .
This builds bitter memories that last for longer times. Who is to be blamed? And who needs to improve???