Adam Saw and the haunted house

Well, here we are.

I enter the 'haunted' house.

Apparently haunted, that is.

 

Well, just like a classic movie cliche, it was a dare. Now, I know, I shouldn't do this, but for what? Ghosts don't exist... except under beds... and behind shower curtains... and in haunted museums...

 

Anyway, I go in. As soon as I shut the super old wooden door (Geez, you guys got a renovation ticket?) A cold gust of wind passes through me. No, not 'that' kind of 'passing'. I mean, a cold gust of wind went through me.

FINALLY! I was grilling sandwiches till the summer of May and a nice, chilly polar wind. Except, we're not anywhere near the poles... whatever.

Well, I go inside a dusty, weird looking hallway. The place is littered with clothes... old clothes. Talk about bad laundry. I know my clothes smell, but this one snatches the gold medal.

Huh. Well, this is boring. I enter the dirty living room and I'm about to plant myself in the rickety old couch, when it creaks. Loud. Huh. Didn't know couches could creak. 

I nearly doze off when a howling noise wakes me up. Howling? That sounded like a dying flute. Didn't know flutes could die. Well, whatever. I'm gonna explore.

I go back into the hallway. The walls are stained with... well, red. I know that I'm a clumsy klutz, but you guys know better to spill cranberry juice and not wipe it off.

I hear a loud, slamming noise inside the bathroom, so loud it echoes throughout the house. You guys should really be careful dropping the toilet seat. 

I enter a random bedroom when I see a figure in white curled up on the bed.

Huh?

The figure seems to be just staring... at me.

OH, IT'S ON!

I stare back. 

No one has ever beaten me yet in a staring contest.

The figure - which looks like a girl now - stops staring and just... vanishes into thin air.

OH, COME ON! I was about to win, she nearly blinked. Talk about a sore loser.

I stomp away when my stomach starts rumbling. I can't hold it in anymore. I gotta eat.

I walk into the kitchen, with countless red eyes staring at me on the way. I didn't look at those sore losers. I couldn't stare at them all at once, anyway.

I make my way into the kitchen and open the fridge.

Pee- yew!

Gotta say, you guys know better to stash pieces of rotten meat and thick cranberry juice in the fridge.

I open up the shelves, when suddenly, another white, ice-cold gust of wind went through me. Um, aren't you supposed to be in the freezer? Maybe this is the freezer.

Well, nothing here. Umm... uhh...I needed to go. As in, 'pass'. 

I ran up to the bathroom, relieved myself and as I'm washing my hands in the rickety old washbasin with a shiny, polished mirror, I catch a weird girl staring at me from the mirror. 

I turn around.

She isn't there.

I look back, and she's smiling from the mirror.

WHATEVER! I'M NOT HAVING A SMILING CONTEST WITH YOU, WHO COULDN'T EVEN ADMIT DEFEAT!

I stomp away to the master bedroom, when suddenly, I find a flight of stairs, going down. 

I hurry down those stairs... into a... basement... I think...

I go into the room. It's pitch black, when suddenly, lights start popping up.

Well, the electricity's back. That's a good start. You still got a lot to renovate, though.

I walk further until I hear growling. I stop and look around me. As my eyes adjust, something massive suddenly lungs at me.

WOAH! I duck. No time to play rugby,... whatever you are...

The large, bear-like creature stops. Then he sniffs me and starts drooling.

Ugh! Buddy, you know better to put water-jelly on me...

He snaps at me. Hard. 

HEY! WOAH! Get lost, you... you... Barbarius, brutal, big Brobdingnagian!

He lungs at me. 

Woah! I duck. Ugh. We got a screw loose here.

Suddenly, something tickles my nose. AACHOO! I sneeze.

Ugh. I know better than to forget I'm allergic to dog- AACHOO! I sneeze, louder this time.

The barbarius, brutal, big brobdingnagian stops, starts whining and runs away.

Well, I'm done. I don't know what was all the fuss about.

I shut the door behind me, when the wind opens it again.

I'm about to close it, when I hear voices.

 

Stay...

 

Don't leave...

 

YEAH, WELL YOU GUYS HAD TO KNOW BETTER THAN TO VANISH WHEN I'M ABOUT TO WIN! Sore losers!

 

I walk off, into the dark, warm night. I don't know what that fuss was all about.