A Thief's Public Interest

My Lord,

I am a citizen of India.I am landless but have an Aadhar Card.In a Rural Bank ,9 kms away ,I have a Jan Dhan Account with a deposit of Rs 15000 which has been saved to meet the expenditure of the court and other emergencies.

'Theft' is my family business; besides this I have not learned anything. With this support I feed my entire family and serve my elderly parents.

Whenever there was an election, I have been voting for the incumbent government. I am a true patriot, and whenever the country faced any crisis I have shouldered the duties of a responsible citizen by donating the entire amount of theft to the National Security Fund. On every Tuesday, I offer Rs 5 to the Hanuman temple. My work underlines that I am a patriot and religious too.

I steal, because it is my business but I have never traveled without ticket. If I buy anything for my family from the market, I pay for it, I also take the bill from the shopkeeper so that the tax goes to the government and our economy is not adversely affected.

I want to strengthen the country’s economy.I have a PAN Card and I regularly submit my return to Income Tax Office.My lawyer says that my income is low to pay any tax and it has to be increased.I want wholeheartedly to support the economy of the country by my increased income so as to proudly say Bharat Mata Ki Jai..

But I face a lot of difficulties in my profession due to which I can not move my business forward. People keep dogs and security guards to safeguard themselves. All of them do their work-dogs bark and security men whistle. I do not want that they should not do it.Even if I fail to feed my grandparents I feel happy to see if the mute animals get milk and biscuits.My grandparents may be in villages or moved to an old age home .In our country the job of security guard is available in plenty but it comes with great difficulty.. Let the security guards do their job but let them not be a hindrance to our profession.We find it difficult to divert their attention because of their loyalty.

It is also necessary to mention here that in this petition (Public Interest Litigation )some of the fundamental rights of the Constitution are to be investigated by a Tribunal.A single bench may not be suitable.

My Lord,

My problems are as follows:-

1.Women conceal their money, without the knowledge of their husbands, in between the clothes kept in the shelves of the almirah. But these days the certificates of Fixed Deposits are also found inside the lockers of the almirahs.I am not a decoit to plunder their amount from their bank accounts stealing those Fixed Deposits Certificates.Debit and Credit Cards are also of no use to me.

2.People kept black money at home earlier , but now they keep in bank lockers. A family has opened several accounts – one for the husband, one for the wife and one joint account and that too in several banks. So they have many lockers.

3. Coins were found in the piggy banks from children's rooms.The total collection from several piggy banks amounted to hardly Rs 2000. Because the children used to put their pocket money in them But PayTM has solved the problem of coins. The children buy chocolates,golgappe from father’s PayTM thus making the money payment without the use of currency.I safeguard myself from CCTVs by covering my our face with towels even if when I see the room or not.The towels become handy to carry the jewels.

4. Nobody uses ordinary locks these days.Big companies use multi -levered locks where the Master Key doesn’t serve any purpose.The levers are to be cut which forces us to waste much of our valuable time. Problems are many which may be explained separately in a rejoinder.

I am a citizen of India and therefore I am authorized to use the powers conferred by the Constitution.

I have the right to life.Theft is my profession, which is not legal, therefore it is a crime.My occupation is covered in my right to live. I would like to mention here that the profession of stealing is ancient. People have been running their own family for thousands of years with the help of this business in every age. But it was considered a crime in every era, which seems not justified in today's context We do not have a narrow outlook now. We are more liberal and fair minded now than before, with a clear understanding of human rights. So many acts considered earlier as crimes, such as prostitution, can now be carried out with licenses.Prostitutes doing their business are called 'Sex Workers', who do business with their life.Live-in- relationships, homosexuality and even adultery are now out of the list of ‘Crime’. Also, those which were not crime earlier, such as Sati, Child Marriage, etc. are now crime. It is necessary to question or interpret whether theft is a crime or not?

My Lord

I have declared that I am a thief.I secretly enter the houses and steal cash and jewels.I do not touch TVs , watches , mobiles etc.Innocently I lifted a costly mobile and sold it to a person for Rs 2000 only.From the IMEI number he was caught but he did not disclose my name since he didn’t want to lose my friendship.He was not a thief but had a good reputation in the society and counted among the well respected .He had the political protection because of his hold on voters of the neighborhood. But the reason why he did not take my name was not that he had pity on me, but because he get benefited by my thefts .

Sometimes the misfortune comes without our knowledge.The young policemen got annoyed with his political clout and beat him severely. They beat him in front of me.I am accustomed to the beating because of my training .But I could not see him being beaten. Immediately I accepted my offense. I did not get any beating but got released on bail. They did not beat me because the whole police station knew me.They offered me tea because they knew that I would manage their expenses.

My Lord,

I'm not the only thief. People steal hearts, steal eyes, steal thoughts,steal dreams, steal boyfriends – girl friends, steal sleep, steal chains, steal social harmony, They steal the ration, steal the wages, steal slogans, steal the stolen, steal the database, steal the names from the voters list, steal other's surname, steal poetries, steals Facebook posts. But none of them is called a "Thief".

Krishna stole many things, but his name came only for stealing butter as he is called ’Makhan Chor’. After birth Krishna left mother Devaki to adopt Yashoda as his mother. Krishna stole the hearts of many; he stole the poison from Putana’s breasts, stole clothes of Gopis. I do not claim but it is said that the clothes of the Gopis were made available to Draupadi because Duryodhana had closed all cloth shops at Hastinapur .Gita was taught only to Arjuna , not to all Pandavas and that too in Sanskrit so that others may not understand.

My Lord,

The object of my petition is not to divert the subject and project the right and wrong in our code of conduct.My intent is to give glorified names to the different types of thefts mentioned above .There are glorified names like lover, smart,intelligent, politician, hacker,spiritualists.savior of religion but we get addressed in shameful names like thieves,burglars,dacoits even when we do not steal any one’s food or clothes .We have no intention to see anyone nude by stealing dresses or derail Loktantra by stealing the voter’s list .I steal the money lying idle in boxes and lockers by my thefts and , keeping a portion for my family , I invest the rest for improving the economic condition of our country.

My Lord ,

Idle money stacked by hoarders stagnates our economy.The person who hoards is also not benefited.If I steal Rs 1000 and use Rs 100 for buying oil for my bike for every Rs 100 spent government excise and VAT gets more than Rs 50 which is equivalent to one day wages to a labor under MGNREGA If I buy items worth Rs 200 which has 18 % GST then the government gets Rs 36.I am still left with Rs 700.If I spend it the government gets more.The government can use it for development projects in the interest of the nation.From my analysis it is clear that I play a key role in the development of our nation.

My Lord,

There are many ways to steal money, jewelry in our country. Some people make money by reading lines on palms. And others read what is written on forehead.Some people make money by black magic,some by creating a talisman from some bone fragments, some do Mantra- Tantra ,some people do magic by sleight of hands, or a miracle by Babagiri who steal money with perfect understanding,.Tantrik and Mantrik get patronage of ministers who glorify them for their chicanery.There are institutions which are licensed to impart skill to the individuals in their respective fields.Some institutions are there in the name of NGOs.If under “Skill India” training is given to us on the technicalities of thieving people like us thieves may be benefited immensely.

The techniques of our country are world famous. Potato can be turned to gold, gas can be sucked by means of a pipes So can we not develop a technique by which a mere tap on the almirah or cupboard will indicate whether there are Rs 2000 currencies inside or not and if so how many so that thieves may open only those which yield money leaving others in tact. We are to break ten almirahs now to get rupees 10 to 20 thousand. But the thieves get the blame for stealing in lakhs.In order to claim from insurance the the amount is inflated by stating that the money of relatives were there inside almirahs. If we get training to learn the techniques, insurance companies may be benefited for reducing their losses.

Can we not develop a technique by which a mere touch of the almirahs may bring all the currencies out without breaking?

My Lord,

Lastly, with a prayer to accept my plea, I would request the court to give suitable directions to concerned sections, as it deems fit.

1.It has already been mentioned that my petition is on the role played by a thief in improving the economy of our country and so it is also related to the right to work with safety and security.Hence, it is my belief that at least the Tribunal Bench will be set up by the court to redress my grievances.

Statement of expected returns:-

2.Instead of calling me 'thief ‘use more dignified terms like 'SBE' (Secret Booster of Economy) in English and issue a notification thereof.

3.As homosexuality and adultery have been excluded from crime recently , theft can also be kept not as crime by the definition but as a 'Secret Economic Activity'

4.To make me technically capable direct the Digital India Mission to make an 'app' whose soft ware has high quality programming which will provide me information as soon as I enter the location , as to which house is more beneficial for theft What is the position of the CCTV in the house, the cameras are infrared imaging or simply- just for scaring a thief .Whether the recordings are stored or not and how to deactivate it either by disconnecting or by cutting the power supply.In the same App let there be provisions for scaring the dogs or the watchmen by raising all types of sound or generating scary laser images.Their attention should be diverted to the sound or images so as not to hear the sound dhap- dhap made by my shoes.The App must be updated from time to time for which there may be provision for Auto Updation through satellite.

5.While designing the App, care should be taken to see that the Deed of Anonymous property, all banks' details, fake passports and other such documents which are of no use to me ,but very important for SEBI, ED, and Income Tax , can be scanned by me in full pixels in the dark The app should have the convenience of storing all electronic counterfeiting department's computer hard disk directly

6.After the age of seventy, a pension of 10 thousand should be made available to my Jan Dhan Account, because I may not be able to beg when I am incapable , being physically weak.

7.Apart from this, the court may also pass orders which may be helpful in the growth of my business, as it deems fit.

The petitioner will ever be indebted to the court for the act of kindness.

Signature - Thief

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Thanks to Mr. Govind Rakesh whose story has been translated.

एक चोर की जनहित याचिका

 © GOVIND RAKESH

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