A beginners guide to Exams

Oh my god, terms exams are in a week! And they’re gonna be happening at school. What am I supposed to do? Also, I don’t do ‘studying’. That’s Max’s thing. Mine is hiding slips in the cap of my pens, writing the answers on the inside of my sleeves, and, towards the past few years, using google to find the answers to every a few answers during the test. Anyway, I’m guessing this means I need to start taking my studies more seriously. Now if only I remembered what my history textbook looks like.

After digging around my bookshelf for an hour, I found a really heavy bag. It was full of my textbooks. Man, I never knew I owned such clean books. These literally smelled like ink. Oh well, now I guess they’ll turn into the mess all my other books are. Now I gotta go, show mom, I know how to keep my school books clean. I hope she doesn’t understand the technique though. I would be butcher's meat if she did.

After I looked at all my books and figured out which one was which, I checked my exam schedule. Okay so math was the first, and I had five chapters coming. I opened my book and began reading. Wait where was the information, all I could see there was a bunch of questions. Oh, wait. This was my exercise book. So where was my textbook? I looked through the bag some more. Once I finally found the textbook, it was the same problem...hardly any theory and only practice exercises. “MOM, my math textbook is a scam.” “Honey it's math, you don’t read math. You need to solve the problems.” “Well, then the textbook needs to become independent. No one wants to solve its problems we’ve all got our own.” “Well you better, because this time I’m not gonna be there to check all your answers and make sure you’ve googled up the right questions. Yep, I know you use google.” alright I’m screwed.

I went to my desk, got my headphones out, and started doing math. I opened the first chapter and read the first question. “P(x)=a+2x2+29 and G(x)= x-2. Find a.” Alright this seems easy enough. ‘A’ is the first value in P(x) and the first letter of the alphabet. Math is easy. I wonder why people think it's so hard. I’m definitely gonna ace this exam.

Five minutes into the exercise, I got a text from Addison. I looked at the time. 10:07 A.M. I could spare three minutes. I picked up the phone to reply. Three minutes later I looked at the time again. 12:53 P.M. I swear I thought it was just three minutes. Oh, well. At least time would pass this fast while I was doing math. I got back to the textbook. Three hours later I looked at the clock on my wall. 12:59 P.M. How the heck is this possible. I swear someone needs to make time pass consistently.

After what felt like a year, I finished three chapters. I went down for dinner. (yes I skipped lunch). I’ve still got two chapters of math left. I guess I deserve a break now. I guess I’ll eat dinner and then watch movies all night. And maybe finish the other two chapters.

After dinner I was so tired I thought I would fall asleep in my plate. Mom thinks I’m drunk...i honestly have no clue what she means, I don’t even know where the wine is. Yeah okay, that's a definite lie. Anyway, after doing my best to survive dinner without falling asleep on my plate, I went back to my room and opened my texts...there were so many. It took me half an hour to download them all. The first one was from our teacher on the school’s official server. “Exams cancelled, students to be promoted on the basis of overall performance.” So that means I’m not gonna be struggling with studies anytime soon!