Confession

It was that first time when I looked at you. 

You started running through my mind. 

Everything went along step by step until that one day you’d look at me, and that’s when I knew,

 I’d always had this feeling when I’m around you.

Every time I see you I hold my breath 

And my mind goes blank.

So I suppose I'll just always be on the other side of the room,

Loving you from a far.

I step forward to meet you.

Heart beating so loudly through my ears 

Hands tangled with anxiety and eyes wide open in fear

A voice echoing in my head urging me to start speaking

So I gather all my strength and I force my lips into motion.

The first word comes out trembling, it hits the huge crowd and starts crumbling

No one can hear you! 

I whisper to my self ... 

I was so relieved to see you, 

But I tightened my knuckles and darted my eyes and shifted away

In desperate hope that you might notice my discomfort. 

I knew the thought that I feared you would sting far more,

Than any words, I could ever speak. 

The truth was, 

A conversation with you was all I wanted. 

And the truth is, 

sometimes I wish this was still the case.

Yet now as you turn towards me,

I feel my stomach drop and my toes curl.

As I lie to myself that I want to raise my eyes to meet your grin. 

How do I say this?

Ever since that day we met

You already caught my attention

My eyes we're looking towards you

With every little thing you do.

Writing this piece not with my mind but my heart,

Not with my thoughts, but with my feelings

It's not easy to say

But I wanna say it anyway

I love you ....