Where Am I Lost?

Dear Self,

I always wonder where and why have you left me. We were meant to be together with the whole life.

I'm not different from you, I'm actually you.

Then for what reasons have you left my hand in between.

I still remember when we use to play a lot in our own world but now we have lost that connection forms the outer world also.

We don't play like we used to be,

We don't talk like we used to be,

We don't laugh like we used to be,

Even we don't plan self trips as we used to be.

In the wish to explore the world we have lost ourself

I remember how to cherish what I used to be when we used to leave for school and how annoying I used to be after returning from there as my favorite song playlist was lying the cupboard of my class. I used to wait for summer vacation to play the paper fish race, I used to make a paper house sketch. The wish to go on a beach and enjoy with an ice cream and after that to go on a roller coaster ride To grab a slice of burger and then sometimes either to share with my sibling or to fight for that one bite.

How wonderful my childhood was with the child inside me.

I wonder where have I lost myself?

Where am I lost in this fast running world, where you don't even have time for yourself. We don't get time to spend our weekends as we used to plan at school vacations. We don't go out for a self-service date like we used to save some money and treat ourselves on achieving something. We don't even plan a small trip with our siblings like we used to do earlier. I remember when I and my brother used to save money in a huge treasure box and throw the key so no one could open it. We used to save money for each and every desire or presents we used to gifts to our siblings.

I remember how exciting we used to make our siblings or mummy papa's birthday with planning small intensive parties for them, And now we even don't have time to give a small treat or party as a sign of self-service help. This world has changed us a lot, we have shifted ourselves from the childish love to the super-fast working world. We are no more a human instead we are being treated as a machine. A machine that has no time for self, for others, for family. We are being world loaded day by day, we have to work like bees. Even bees spend some time with family but we, don't even have time to see what our neighbors are suffering from. We are like that small rats that have been so badly trapped in this rare trap of fame fake love and money.

I don't know if I'm ever going to work on anything such or will start it from now,

But I definitely wish that one day I'll literally set me off from the regular duties and give some time to the inner child in me.

For just once I wanna go back to that life. Where I used to sleep without any tension, where the morning Chota bheem show was more important than red blue black files.

Where my morning cup of tea was milk and bread butter jam, then the keto drink.

Where after returning from school I used to wonder about what game we will play today than what work is left now to complete.

Where I used to gather all street friends and play many games then to gather my friends at a night club party. Life was wonderful at that age only now it's being turned into a restless life where you have to work 24 hours even in your sleep and then when you stop to work your life too stops. I don't want to shed down from a tree so brutally where I will not die in peace rather in grief.

I miss the old child in me

Where am I lost?

In this greed?