The Schizophrenic Man
The Schizophrenic Man
“Hi, where have you been by your thought, you are not alone now, talk to me,” I said. And he awakens from his dream and started to tell me as a soliloquy.
“My brain is busy tonight.” He said
“What are you saying? Mine is also busy, everybody’s brain is busy unto he dies.” I said and sipped from the beer once.
“Mine is different.”
“How?” I asked. Then he started to narrate how he feels about his pain. “my brain always talks with unknown and unseen knowledgeable objects. My cell membrane’s holes have no doors to be closed and to shun the spirits of the world. With my blood, those spirits have passed through neurologically, I mean through the transmission of nerve impulses; or biochemically, I mean via hormones and neurotransmitters; or biophysically, I mean through pressure waves; and energetically, I mean through electromagnetic field interactions.” He became silent after telling all these.
He was good enough yesterday. We both were in the villages’ inn before we departed and said “goodbye” for that night. I knew ere, my friend was so brave and cool in his behavior and a passionate man, too. “hi, you haven’t finished the history that you begun to tell me. And what? Why you tried to describe deeply how your mind and heart communicate with those unknown objects?” I asked him. And he started to tell me again. Then he continued as an acter to narrate the past history.
“It was before long years; I were alone after I reached at my lonely home. My home has had no kitchen, alcove, and bed room. It has had only a room and has held my bed, one table, and a wooden drawer on which my baking materials are kept, the other home furniture I have had are the lonely chair and 14-inch color TV, and the Old TV stand. As I entered in to my home, the first deed I did was to switch on the TV to watch that’s night transmission.
It was unusual, in that somber night, after I started to watch the TV just as I sat on my lonely chair, I heard a voice of my girlfriend while the anchor reads a news. Immediately, I went out from my narrow home by opening the slummed door to embrace my lovely woman, but I did see nothing outside, the corridor is gloomed with the 60-watt incandescent lamp, not shined well. My woman, I searched here and she was not there, then I entered in to my home again, started to watch the TV.
I remember, after a few seconds, I heard my friend’s voice around the bottom age of the TV, it was terrifying, he did shout once by calling my name. I switched off the TV and opened the door again to watch the outside. No one was there. To prove it, I walked to my neighbor’s home and knocked their door to ask if my friend and my beautiful beloved girlfriend would have been in their home. All said “No, no one is with us.” Oh, what an illusion, I returned back to my home. Then I wanted not to open the TV again, but what I did were just to slept. Truly, in that night, I couldn’t. my brain was filled with stress and unusual dread.
It was mandatory to be a day, that traumatic night had passed without asleep, but around the morning I had gotten a snooze, just as a nap, sweet and bizarre, and I woke up at the mid of the day. I mean I were encountered absenteeism to attend at my workplace. That wasn’t my fault. It was trouble which was encountered in my brain.
After noon, I went to my office after I ate my breakfast and lunch together on the vast dish of the neighbors’ restaurant. My team leader, as soon as she observed me at the entrance of the office, asked me that “why you had been absent in this morning?”
“I am sorry, boss, I were not well since the last night, I got pain, it has looked as headache.” I said.
“Whatever the cause was, you should to call me ,to notify me! You did wrong!” she said.
“Apologize me now, I were in the state of mind that abled not to control myself, my mind was taken by some imps, or some mischievous devils or bad spirits. I had gone with sleeping, just as a dead man. My soul and my body were departed for that time of being. I am sorry boss.” I said kindly. My body sensed me to had a rest, I sensed losing energy, and sat on my office seat.
“Harry up, they are waiting for you.” She said again.
“Who are they?”
“The discipline committees are waiting for you…”
I remembered the day, every week we have a meeting at that time but I did forget it. Then I went to the hall.
After a week, I opened my TV to see the holiday’s direct transmission program. But I could observe without a confusion not more than thirty minutes. My mind and the TV started to communicate each other. My organs of observation and hearing correspondingly did react with All images and sounds of the TV. All words which were spoken through the media looked to penetrate in my soul and my mind. The movement of all images looked to mimic what I had done before by revoking the permanent memory of mine from my brain parts. My amygdala started to emanate enzymes of fear catalyzers; my hippocampus started to declare my episodes from my old memories. Everything in the atmosphere started to talk with me, and I recognized as I was getting to be mad.
I stood in front of my TV and warned the wave not to make a conversation with my mind. “Shit!!! Stop a conversation with my mind!!!” I said. But my TV continued disturbing my mood, eventually, I kicked it with my foot, an explosion in my narrow home bumped with a bang sound to my neighbors; however, no one asked me and said “what happened?”. Then I lost my dear friend, My TV was my friend since I bought it in credit.
After that, I went out from the home to drink an alcohol because I assumed that it might had a relief. In that night, I were drunken well, but I couldn’t get a pain relief. It was so painful, Oh…. I were really mad.
In the next morning, I went to my job place to accomplish tasks in accordance with my orders. And I noticed that my hand writing and my thought were not gone similarly. Many times, I wrote with errors out of my thought. I thought to write a figure seven and I wrote five or another different number. I thought to write the phrase “I love” but I remember I wrote” I hate” or another phrase instead. It was a writing and thinking disorder concurrently. My speech was so beloved ere. After that period of time, I started quavering or something as a stutter. I noticed that my ignoring repetition has increased from the prior. I accept a thing from someone and I forget as I accepted it. I give something to someone and I forget while he returns to me. I heard while you said something to me but it wasn’t a true sound. You call my name and I say “Yea”, “Oh, no, I didn’t call you.” became the reply of anybody at everywhere.”
And I became sad after I heard all his pain. Then asked him that, “when was this thing happened on you?”
“Before 10 years, when I was 26.”
“how old are you know?”
“ I am 43”
Oh, this is incredible, so how you became so healthy and brilliant now albeit you were a psychic man ere?” I asked him politely.
“This is a good question, once up on a time I visited a doctor and he advised me to read about schizophrenia, and he said to me that: after you know about it, you will start to control your mood to live with patience. Otherwise, you will be mad if you will continue bothering much.”
“Then?” I waited to hear the next sentence eagerly.
“Then I did read it, as you see I am well now. Since that time, I am living with all symptoms as I told you. Some are saying to me that, people who are selected to be a prophet might be to encounter a pain for the prophecy of a future. Because I started to see indications of the future fate of this world at a personal level.”
“Wow!! This is an awful history. I don’t know to which category I classify it, is it a Scientific or theological?”
“I don’t’ know, too.”