The Observer

Chapters

1] The Corpse and the Mother’s funeral           page 21….to 44

2] I’m now a corpse but…….                    Page 44 to 54

3] My Near death experiences True or False?          Page 55 to 74

4] High School college ages and beyond-1970’s-1988s

                                          page 75-107

5] A unit family and a crack in communism        Page 108-

6] I am the angel of Death                     page 108-127

7] He is “Basu”                                   page 127-144

8] I was Basu’s maternal uncle while in earth      page 145-168

9] My Visit to a sea                                  page 168-

10] A question to his Papa – a note from the party’s member 

BholaBabu’s secret diary                              page 169-189

11] I’m a maiden Satan                                       page190-

12]   I am Aeytri

Chapter-1

        

The Corpse and the Mother’s funeral

“…… I’m ashamed to tell you, but I will must tell, I had bristles sprouting on me, I could not speak, but only grunting sounds came out instead of words. I felt my mouth grow harder. I had a stout nose instead of a nose and my face bent over to see the ground I left now, my neck swelled up with great muscles, and the hand that lifted the cup to lips made footprints on the ground….” Taken from the famous book “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka

1 My mother is nothing but a corpse now, -a dead body! My mother died today!. She expired from planet earth. It might be today, or might be yesterday, might be the day before yesterday also, Nobody knows! Who cares for it in 136 cores population in India? I also don’t know! She might draw her last breath and her heart beat stopped beating- no one in my family knows what happened then!- my wife rang me over my cell phone “ I had news from your paternal home’ Your mother passed away. Funeral tomorrow- or Today? Yours sincerely…..” mother died today or maybe yesterday, I don’t know exactly. I had a phone call from my village home -40 Km away “ mother is no more - That does not mean actually any thing to me. It may have been yesterday…… ” satyabrata muttered it from the famous book “ Outsider” of Nobel laureate in literature Albert Camus' ', from his frontal cortical zyrus neurons. A very old person around his age who lived past ninety ,is now burning in carbon ashes in the electric furnace of “Panihati municipality” Funeral ghat [crematorium]- and she is third in the queue, in that crematorium . She is now laying on a bamboo made cot [beastead] as a corpse- as white as parchment paper- bloodless. She had become so lean and chachectic. Satya leaned over her dead face, felt her carotid pulse twice or thrice- could never feel her pulsation at the angle of her jaw mandible. Satya listened for her breath sounds lacing his ear on her flat chest, to be sure enough she was beyond doubt dead. What did Satya expect now? A miracle? a sudden gushing of blood flow on her dead face? Impossible! He wanted to be damn sure and further sure and further sure, before placing her in the electric furnace of 18000 centigrade temperature. Her face is calm and smiling. Rigor Mortis started two hours back, when local physician Dr. A Sengupta signed on paper her death certificate. Satya also had to sign as a witness though he was not present in her death time. – in her death bed in her village home. Satya’s cerebral zyrus cortical neurons again sent chemical signals and he murmured Albert Camus “…mother died today- …. or may be yesterday- I don’t know. I had a telegram from home. Mother passed away funeral tomorrow … That does not mean any thing.That may be yesterday may be day before yesterday—“ Satya went on murmuring within his inner tongue “ I asked my boss for two days off…my wife .. that I can keep the vigil and I will come back tomorrow night from home forty kilometer from Garia town of south kolkata. My feudal naughty wife… my feudal cunt, ranged me from home…in a party. She must be now liking some one’s sweat…. She ranged me “ your’s mom is dead.. just now… I don’t know when it happened- but it happened…. may be today…. may be yesterday…. maybe day before yesterday… I don’t know--- it happened like many things happens every day… every moment in the planet, in the universe. She did not seem to be pleased over my cell phone. I even told over phone “it is not my fault of course!. She did not however answer to that. Then I thought maybe I should not have said that! After all it was not for me to seek apologize before her for my mothers’ death. It was rather more up to her to offer me her condolence. But she did not do that. She will probably do so the day after tomorrow discussing with her younger sister and with her mother, whose direction and advice she followed and follows every day in her entire life. She told over phone she may accompany me in my village house, if I desire it so. But I was mourning them. For that big moment it is almost the same to me as if mother was still alive to me. So I told her “It doesn't matter-if she wishes and she may meet me at shyam bazaar five ponit” . I then ranged my eldest maternal brother Mithu “Mother is no more- I informed him in a crack voice” I caught a private bus at 7 PM oclock bus to arrive to shaym bazaar five point . Here I waited for my wife who came by bus from Garia at 9PM. I purchased some white flowers Rajani gandha sticks, garlands & a new cotton sari . I did not know what else more would be required in home to bid her goodbye forever from the planet as hindu rituals. For that moment, it was almost as if mother was still alive to me. After the funeral over the death will be classified to me “as fact” and whole thing will be “official then”. My maternal brother, Mithu and his wife joined me there. Did they all felt sorry for me for my mother’s death? We caught a taxi and Mithu told her wife “sapna” in Taxi “ there is no one like mother, and pisimani’s breast milk I had drink for my survive in my infancy time- as my mother had no breast milk to drink for me”. Every one of us in Taxi was so silent and quite. The dashing and jolting and smell of petrol from taxi in jam at Barrackpore Trunk road and glare of the lamp posts reflecting on the road made me dozz off. And I slept all the long way of 45 Km to reach Sodepur Station and my village home is one km away from there

 Satya’s five younger brothers were waiting out side at courtyard of electric funeral furnace. Only youngest twin brother’s facial expression was mournfully. Others were talking in groups, gossiping in clusters, amongst them with her accompanying neighborhoods in the funeral ground. Satya could never imagine that this lady at her age of seventy two(72 yrs) had so much popularity and such a strong identity at her locality of “Ward -17” of Bankimpalli and Purbapalli village of Sodepur. Sixty nine people accompanied her corps in her final journey to heaven from this planet to eternity, besides her relatives and family members.Did she then went into her immortality? Satya looked at his golden wrist watch. It was 1-40 AM GMT. Satya felt tremendous hungry and thirsty for long time. Since he had her death news on a road ,at Rabindrasadan, near SSKM hospital , waiting to catch a public minibus to return his home at Garia, satya caught bus at 7 PM to reach Shyambazzar five point, from where they caught a taxi to reach sodepur. He smoked a lot three or four packs of cigarette by the time. Satya has hypertension, concentric apical variant left ventricular hypertrophy, though mild has ischemia in the inferior wall and anterior wall of his heart- a dangerous lesion. He takes beta blockers Metoprolol, atorvastatin and aspirin to prevent his sudden cardiac death since 1998. Satya watched at neighborhoods accompanying his mother’s to her last journey. Satya could know faces of majority of them. Some were unknown to him also. Satya left his parental house 34 years back in a sunny shining and glazing morning of February 1988 and for last 15 years he never came to his home at purbapalli as his spouse did never like that and cused often chaos for his spending night at his home of Purbapalli. He was then his parent’s only means of support. So he does not want to justify to himself, though he was not able to look after his parents and youngest his twin brothers properly as a duty of an eldest son and eldest brother- he admits. But satya became so surprised when so many people, even of present generations boys whom satya never saw before their faces earlier came to express their grief, to solitude in his mother’s death. This is great, un imaaginable in these days also. They are all of poor socioeconomic class! They were Rickshaw pullers, Van Rickshaw pullers, drivers, Bazzar sellers, Local Students, Auto rickshaws owners, Maid servants, Watchman, refugee people of Bankim palli and some few of Purbapalli village. Bholababu called themselves, jokingly “as Mouses”.

 They were waiting! Waiting ,to put her in the electric furnace at 1800 degree centigrade temperature. Some people were talking about “one may get the feeling that’s former life persists. And about re incarnation of life ” He was talking “….. Before my birth there was infinite time and after my death there will be in exhaustible time…. I am just a coordinates—and there are two eternities of extreme endless darkness in the universe….. Heaven and hell……” Does it really exist, in universe? Satya remember Myan calendar ends in 21st December 2012. World would be destroyed by solar storm & collision with an external planet called it “Nibru” that may engalaf our earth while passing by

But nothing happened in reality. will not happen before million years next.

Satya looked at his maternal uncle. He is the only person living now in his maternal side. He is an engineer- a pass out alma matter of Indian Institute of technology (IIT), from Benaras Hindu university… was once a woman killer and womanizer in his youth, satya heard it such… now a very successful business man… proud father of one engineer son from Delhi university and a cost account daughter— and both had already married and have their own family, children, living separately--- Mr. Chakravorty asked “ like to have a cup of tea?’

Satya nodded “ no thanks uncle [chotomama]” 

-- “Here is the end of your mom's journey in the planet”The Earth '' and she starts for eternity alone in dark sky - She suffered here throughout her life in poverty and negligence from your family end…. A human machine to produce six sons and a daughter… it was your father’s policy- the reason” Mr. chakravorty whispered at him in the most disgusting manner, towards Bholababu, Satay’s father- living and 81 years old man of left political party!

- “ my next two brothers Tito and Pinto, -their spouses and my spouse also” satya murmured in his clenched teeth. Satya looked at night sky. “ the Dirty family politics they all played…. Always with my parents….. my youngest two brothers… their own blood… I never heard’

 An old man’s human mortal body was burning in carbon ashes in the electric furnace. There is only one electric furnace in the crematorium of the “Panihati municipality”, at sodepur presently – a nearby town and within CMDA. The other system is burning a dead body by wood in open air and burying the children underground. It was in human to see burning one’s who was so close and nearest and dearest. Satya thought system for Muslims, in koran and Christian’s in The holy Bible are much better to put a dressed dead person in screwed coffins and buried under the ground. Satya could see smokes from high up chimney, spiraling,spinning, moving up forward in space time. The sky is then crystal clear, blue and bright with plenty of shining galaxies ,stars. “twinkle .. twinkle little star how far you are…” his mother taught her every sons and only daughter the rhyme , Satya remembered his mother loved painting, embroidering cloths, katha, coloring borders of ladies garments in most perfect styles of various designs of leaf, goddess, flowers, birds and clloured packages from old news papers to supply in local shops. In his youth time, satya and his three brothers learned from her how to decorate a plate of china clay pot , pot with pictures of God & Goddess or of Indian famous hero’s of independence , or running horses on a mirror made of glass. Satya learnt perfectly to draw running horses of black horses. In their childhood, Satya and his brothers used to play every years and decorate their front courtyard with clay made and plastic cheap dolls- they collected years together. For Jhulan Jatra of Rai( Radha) keshore( Krishna) .Their mom helped them to decorate those dolls, decorate a false hill village with roads, crossings, river and tiny battery bulbs. Radha and Krisna’s worship was there for seven days. The time was janastami- Lord Krishna’s birthday. There went a competition amongst their friends to attract the other neighbours to every one’s house to encourage ‘Jhulan jatra festival’ in much greater attractive ways. All most all childrens of village Purbapalli road no-7, Bankim Palli used to participate in that jhulan festival of Lord Krishna- the suprimo of God of Hindus. Mother also accompanied them in “Rathajatra”- a festive ceremony of Lord of World Jagannath.his brother Blaram and sister Subhadra” Durgapuja festival did not start then in Purbapalli. It was at far distances away –from satya’s house at “Sodepur club”- and only single puja festival in a year in autumn. When Satya and his brothers were children, this now dead corpse used to tell them stories of the “origin of the universe”. She used to tell” we have not added a single atom in this universe, neither in this planet. “It is constant”. How could she know? She knew many things about the universe. The universe is constant and we know a tiny fraction(4%) of this universe and 96% of the universe is yet unknown to humanity. And Satya knows today how much real story she used to speak them and todays unknown part of the universe is “Dark energy”. Actually Satya and his brothers learnt the basic story of creation of the Universe from his mother. She had however an peculiar auditory delusion (? Schizophrenia ). She often could hear human voices from other deep space time- distant planets -as one can hear talk or a talk or a theatre dialogue in a radio transmission or in a television broadcast. Some aliens’ life used to tell her many stories of an alien land of stars- a red dwarf star- for some unknown reason; she named it “Dragon star”. We are all sons and daughters of a star- my home land is a blue planet of dragon star- Dragon planet I shall return back to Dragon planet after my death here- I shall be awaiting for you all there- or I shall come back to you all again. She believed in “After life”. She believed in “Reincarnation- tomorrow”.She believed in GOD” in “JIVAATMA” she believed in “Exoplanets. Similar planets with life and human like civilization in those exoplanets in habitable zones and there are in fact now thousands of exo planets discovered in “Keplers Space Craft Mission of NASA’ which have also earth like atmosphere. Satya’s mind suddenly stroked “ Is my mom’s soul around me?” Satya read once Nobel Laureate in Literature (2006) “Orhan pamuk’s” famous book “My Name is Red” “. …. Tell us what you can see? Is there life after death? Where is your Soul? What about heaven and hell? Are you in pain after your death? Can you see? Can you hear? are you in two dimensions or single dimension? Do you drink ? Do you take food? ”

 Living people in the earthen planet world are so curious about “after life” -Life after death. About Near 

Death experiences[NDE]. Satya in fact unknowingly a few weeks ago, started a thread bear discussion, as an author, in an world famous astrophysics and astronomy forum of United Kingdom www.forumastronomydaily.com as it’s member, with “ Death and near death experiences” where many world renowned physicists, theoretical physicists, respected scientists, doctors, common people, Astronomists joined in the active discussion. It was a lovely scientific discussion in that forum. Question of existence of “ human soul” ultimately raised forward by some respondents. It was a lovely discussion on death, dignity of death, experiences of a man/woman before dying, de-ja-vue phenomenon, and consciousness’ Extraterrestrial quantum theory of human consciousness and finally the existence of “ human soul”. In three or four such responses some described their own experiences either listened or experienced. So many people in the world including many respected scientists, doctors, people, do believe “soul” exists and in Hinduism a “soul” will have to pass through 34 millions of vaginal births and 8.400,000 species of life before talking a human life[ satya does not know existence of more 08 lacks of species from all viruses-Prions to human beings-the highest form of evolution ] and may take reincarnations- what this dead corpse used to tell his brothers in their child time. There is a strong belief amongst Hindus and Muslims,- satya’s father BholaBabu once explained him “Souls[ they named it Atman] divide in life in here after in heaven . Each soul then divide in, one is male atman and other is female’ and they are then called “soul mate”. A soul through his/her re incarnations tries to meet his/her soul mate in the earth, in the planets, through his/her repeated births. The search continues for several hundred or thousands births for most people and when they meet, the soul no more takes birth, no more comes back in this earth. He meets then “ Param Atma –The GOD or Krisna or Naryan, the Creator of this universe”. There are two worlds Heaven and Hell in Hindu’s mythology also. The soul of sinful individuals falls under the domain of devils {Lord Yama of hellish worlds ] and goes in the hell (Dark Galaxies or black holes!) after their death as per their sinful works in the earth. There is another world- Thanks GOD. It is heaven!. The broad Leaf trees bear here plumps of endless sweet fruits, sweet vegetables, sweet fishes and there are most beautifully virgins and angel women” ,Goddess” dancers like Ramva and Urvashi and seva dasis. There are rivers of sweet wines- called amrita . Rivers of milk sweet fishes and sweet water, honey. There are other worlds too. They are probably all Exo-planets of other stars with or without civilization – rather may be a better with intelligent and highly advanced form civilization- as per Darek equation and laws and according Prof Pranab kumar Bhattacharya. She believed in exoplanets in other solar systems in our milky ways. One such is a red dwarf dragon star? – satya’s mom used to tell them in heir childhood. – Now she is corpse lying on the cheapest bamboo tree made of cot as cold as ice freezed . – Satya searched for a dragon shaped star. Does heaven exist in any exo planets? in the red dwarf of dragon star do exist in our galaxy?. Exo planets are reality and many thousands. Satya himself had published at least three articles in the journal “Nature News” and other journals of space sciences on exoplanets about exoplanets and possibility of life there. He published another In Philosophical Transaction A of Royal Society’s Journal. Mother’s soul, if exist surely started her journey for the exo planet in the dragon star if at all . Today Satya knows that dragon star do also exist in our galaxy milky ways. Exoplanets are reality in the Astronomical sciences. Which is then one dragon star? Every star in human open eyes is similar , blinking & twinkling in the clear night sky. Satya wanted to identify a star his mother named it ‘dragon star”- and she did not know anything of Astronomical sciences.- was everything de-ja-vue of her temporal lobe cortex brain? Her hallucinations ? Her auditory delusions? How could she say the origin of this universe happened in the past from a big fire? & inflationary Big bang? _ She had no idea about “The Big Bang”? How could she say that multiple such universes did exist? How she could say that life is possibly every where and someone talks with her from deeper space time- a higher form of technology. Satya has no answer though he is highly top level scientist, analytical in every aspect of sciences, physics, astronomy, medicine, pathology and life and he is considered a top quality scientist of world repute, publishes regularly lots of scientific articles,papers, research works in medicine, astronomy, astrobiology in world’s most reputed, coveted journals like in Nature, science, physis.org, Royal society proceedings, NASA, Science blog, the lancet; BMJ, archives of Internal Medicine; Annals of internal medicine, JAMA, JCP, JCI, Blood, Science Now, NASA, Science Blogs Nature World News, World times, The Guardian, Routiere Space.com., Huffing ton science Post etc etc. 

Tito came “ Barda, you go there… I am here with her…. touching her mortal body. “ satya do not want to talk with his second brother- who metamorphosed severly to be a real bitch- after his marriage- according his own choice, now a converted devil soul- and a giant selfish personality who knows himself and his unit family members benefit only - and was always a trouble shooter for the rest of family members- including torturing satya’s old parents- Tito a real bitch & bustered soul no doubt, he had this metamorphosis just after his marriage- the lady he choiced by himself own. 

 Satya and Mr, chakravorty came out side. Mr. Chakravorty ordered tea and snacks and biscuits for all who accompanied her.

--“… Another two and then she! Every body takes usually forty five minutes on average to burn in ashes of carbon and bone fragments and she is already chachetic ”

---“ I for the second time came here in Smasan - first was for Meja mamima[ 2nd maternal aunt] Satya told Mr. Chakravorty in his melancholic voice and in a ravaged face. He was dam thirsty now.

 --“At that time I was in saket, New Delhi” giving him a penetrating eyes, Mr. chakravorty answered Satya feebly. He appeared this time very pale now. His expression was desolate and he pursed his lips several times, as if it was difficult for him. Was he shocked that his only sister now died? and he remained alone in this planet of his six brothers and one sister? Was he also trembling thinking that next may be his turn. Satya thought probably “yes”- that was true. He was terrified for the future and no body can see the future time

- “ I called you over telephone when she was in her death bed. “ Satya murmured to his maternal uncle- Chotomama

 -“ it is good that your mom passed away heavenly… peacefully…quietly…she could be rather a burden at your sodepur home… nobody except sapna, Rupak & Ritwik would be to look after & care her--- in her vegetative state… and they are economically so poor and don’t have enough money to keep nursing for 24 hours. You could not also do that for obstacle from your own spouse and politics in your family . Is that not true? I know yours rest brothers”

 __“ probably! But she is only 72 and you are?”

--“ your mother was only three years elder to me”

--“ you had no emotional and responsibility for yours brothers and sister?’”

--“Probably not! And I did not care … also ”. Mr. Chakravorty kept on staring at satya “ I am only attending yours mom's funeral. However she was only sister of us and was affectionate to all our brothers –since her childhood.”

--“ I don’t understand why people hankers after wealth… Possiveness….Prosperity.. fame… politicis …quarrels.. all are bogus” satya whispered--- This moment you are living and in next few moment you are just corpse… this is the life…. Purposeless….And reality in this earth” . 

__“ may be so” may not be!- in fact I have no time think of these. Mr .Chakravorty answered himself softly. I belief in materialistic world. I am an enginner and a successful businessman ……”

 Mr. Chakravorty did not know what to say satya. Any further consolatory phrase would have sounded false and ridiculous at this moment. He abruptly stopped speaking and did not utter a word. His little white moustache twisted and stretched.Persipirating drops on his for head-Why?

 --“ every person , every Politician must come and sit some hours in funeral or crematorium or in grave yards… They should learn some thing from here.. The truth..” satya’s voices trembled with emotion. … Every thing is so relative….. Eienstien told it himself. Did he wanted to mean existence of Soul by E= Mc2? I don’t know

 Why people do die? A simple biological phenomenon? A big question before satya. To continue discussion on forumwww.forumastronomydaily.com with world reputed dignitaries in the threadbare discussions “ Death and Near death Experiences” satya had to study all books, Medical journals, on Death and Near death experiences, all references books of Medicine, Neuromedicine Journals on NDE and satya finally came to a conclusion. Satya knows that death comes to people if one excludes any accidents, because they do not care for their health, because they are generally unhealthy and had genetically unhealthy parents, because they receive poor health care , because the available health care is in equability distributed, because the available medical technology is not sufficient at sustaining of life, because they can not purchase the costly health care in a state ‘because of poor cultural and social factors, because of rationing of resources in the family, because of poverty, because of negligence by keens and because of aging process. The human genome however gives every person at least 130 years of life in earth, imprinted in one’s genome on an average. What was responsible for his mother’s death? Because of her illiteracy? Because of long running poverty in her family? because neither satya nor his youngest twin brothers could purchase very costly health care for their mother in the state of West Bengal? because they could not provide her good technology and costly interventional medicine to sustain her a vegetative life? She was cachetic , she had type 2 diabetes, having daily recombinant human insulin, she had tuberculosis- But she wanted to live with all these in this world. She always struggled. She struggled throughout her life with severe poverty and negligence. She never wore a good sari .Her soul must not be satisfied in her this life. Satya knows well that state politicians, state health officials of West Bengal will describe her death is due to a definite disease, not for poverty, neither of starvation, nor of malnutrition. But chachexia is a clinical sign of malnutrition, under nutrition, hunger, now seen as a multidimensional adaptation, encompassing a wide range of conditions like cancer, congestive heart failure, AIDS, any end sage diseases, COPD, cystic fibrosis, Chron’s disease, nutritional factors and caloric deficiencies and it is found commonest in tuberculosis in Indian subcontinent, particularly in West Bengal. Chachexia, starvation, hunger and tuberculosis are major Para diagram of malnutrition, calorie deprivation. 

How starvation, malnutrition lead over to death? Satya as a pathologist and Professor must knows the pathogenesis is tissue damage which is a threat to well being of a human body and it is self promoting i.e. hydrolytic enzymes released from inflammatory cells or injured cells cause further injury and produces substrates for formation of free radicals which are toxic to body . Body tries to localize, hide and latent the injury and tries to clear as tissue debris. Many organisms mainly soil based mycobacterium tuberculosis invade the body and develop acute phase response that induces stereotyped coordinated adaptation ranging from behavioral to physiologic .Protease inhibitors, complement factors, apportien, fibrinogen, interlukin-6, CAP are released. These acute phase responses results coordinated adaptation of intermediary metabolism like increase of protein degradation in skeletal muscles, increase urinary nitrogen, increase protein turnover, decrease skeletal muscles protein synthesis, decrease plasma level of branched amino acids, increased lypo lyses, decreased lipo genesis, hyper lipidimia, decreased serum lipoprotein-apo protein-increased de-novo fatty acid synthesis- glucose intolerance-hyper insulinimia- increased insulin resistance-increased glucose turnover rate-increased glucose neogenesis and finally death by a CVA or by acute myocardial infraction or by uncontrolled blood sugar or by sepsis &DIC.

Forgive me, You readers of this story I may not like at all to get you bored with all these scientific and biochemical explanation of a very truth in calorie deprivation and how tuberculosis leads to death taught always in pathology in MBBS class room . I am here just a story teller- an outsider observer with very high level of medical scientific background. But satya is also a Professor of Pathology. The duty of pathologists is to search the truth often hidden at cellular or sub cellular level of organs or tissues or in genome. A pathologist is the final person to tell, what is behind the curtain( called etiology) of a disease, of a death (post mortem) and how did it happened (pathogenesis) and what is the end result(The final diagnosis) and Tuberculosis , some kind of Type 2 Diabetes is the result of calorie deprivation, under nutrition called MRDM or FCPD.

 The government officials, left or right party peoples, ministerial machineries of the state of West Bengal, upper middle class people of any society, journalists of famous news chhanels or News papers never accept this truth that malnutrition, starvation, calorie deprivation leads to death in West Bengal though it often happens. For them, these types of deaths are due to tuberculosis, or some bacterial diseases and for those who are not regularly taking anti tuberculosis drugs or failure of national DOT programme. But under the curpet of every tuberculosis always lies a story of calorie deprivation, deprivation in development, evictions by government in name of development, unemployment, loosing job, or poverty. The 35 years ruling Marxist party of West Bengal did never accept a very simple truth that in West Bengal so many thousands of death occurs out of malnutrition, starvation, hunger, when in West Bengal more then 30% population(Infact it is 48%) lie bellow poverty line and about 48% people just touched poverty line. Satya means poverty line not by conventional definition of poverty but minimum earnings to enable a person to purchase minimum basic calorie from market with prices from the family monthly earnings. Each and every years, many people are loosing their job due to so called Open market economy based development of the state, based on capitalistic socialism view of Open market Bazzar economy, they now call it or in support of market economy and opening the economy to privatizations, Forgein investments, Bazaar economy and loosening governmental control on private economy investment in the state trades and almost in every things.

 Satya’s mother had tuberculosis. Tuberculosis with type-2 MRDM Diabetes Mellitus. The cause of diabetes was due to malnutrition to her. The endocrinologists, the diabetologists call it malnutrition related Diabetes Mellitus(MRDM). It istype-2 insulin dependent diabetes mellitus. The cause of such diabetes is calcification of Pancreas. Satya’s father suffered from Tuberculosis-that resulted him Broncheactesis, cavity in lung and COPD. Satya’s two brothers also suffered from tuberculosis with Plural effusions and had DOT treatment provided by the central government at free of cost as national T.B control program. Thanks God that it is still free. Tuberculosis is today marker disease of extreme level of poverty, hand Rikshaw Pullers in the country , unemployment, joblessness, malnutrition and starvation by WHO. The educated upper middle class people do not like to talk of Tuberculosis. They are afraid of disease and persons suffering from it if they infect them somehow!. They are afraid of the disease and persons suffering from it, if they infect them some how of Tuberculosis!. The multinationals do not like to spend their resources on drug development at low cost for tuberculosis. Tuberculosis is so rampant in slums.rural village, unemployed families, Rikshaw pullers family. 

 The crude death rate in West Bengal is around 10%, when civil registration efficiency remains till now bellow 40%. In reality crude rate must be 20% or more. Every year new sputum positive cases detected for tuberculosis is around 5,5,00 cases in West Bengal alone and that is increasing since 1998, when from” industrialization and development” slogan started by the ruling Marxist party. Majority of tuberculosis burden both in men and women are the productive age group i.e15 years-55 years and around 25% population of tuberculosis die every years, because they simply can not afford their food, medicine or had no accesses in DOT or become resistant to DOT and now multi drug resistance and even toal drug resistances resistances appeared in the state of west Bengal leading to high mortality rate in the state of west Bengal . Nearly 40% of Indian population is today infected with T.B. National ARTI being 1.5%. The incidence of new T.B cases estimated in India 1.98 million of whom 0.87 million are infectious. The prevelance of TB has been 3.8 million by directorate of General Health & Family Welfare- central division, Government of India, New Delhi. In India there are about 500,000 deaths occurs annually, only simply due to T.B infection and incidence and TB prevelance 1.5 and 3.8 million per year respectively. There is also growing epidemic of Multi Drug Resistance (MDR) and Total Drug Resistance (TDR] of Tuberculosis in West Bengal & in India too. Why? It is the reality & a classical threat of TB epidemic in India is MDR TB. Use, may not use, non adherence of drugs due to its high cost to purchase from medicine shop, low calorie, malnutrion, Jobless ness and some times abuse or misuse by local private physician’s prescriptions of anti bacterial agents has today encouraged the evolution of bacteria towards bacterial resistance, & resulting often therapeutic failure. The private doctors are mostly responsible for it due to ignorance. Why the Indian law system do not bring them under session court trial & proceedings & punish them for their criminal offence for injudicious ,irrational use of antibiotic that threatens now whole mankind? Resistance to anti TB drugs is so raising problem in era of chemotherapy began. Naturally there is also dramatic out break of MDR TB started from 1990 & resistance became today a recognized problem in West Bengal or in India too. MDR strain of M tuberculosis- the bacteria for which tuberculosis occur thus threatened Tuberculosis control and prevention program. Molecular stdies also shows drug resistance in M. tuberculosis is primarily stimulated due to the mutation in the drug target genes and efficacy pump system

 Why Tuberculosis is so rampant even in early 21st century in West Bengal? What a common man or a lay people understands, all well educated, high educated people, ruling party members, big health officials, ministerials do not understand that unemployment, loss of job, lack of capacity to purchase food, lack of calorie, starvation, lack of cell mediated immune status-leads to tuberculosis. Their inadequate or no health purchase capacity leads finally to their death. On the other hand around 30%-35% population of this country India has enough money in their hand to waste, to consume more food, though they do never physical labor for production of any things or contribute in Net State Gross Domestic Product economy development and they simply destroy foods, consumes too much calory , suffers from obesity, heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, Thyroid disorders and spends in lacks and cores in Private health care Industries of the state or the country. They are rather promoted by the Marxist left government through health care privatization or in the new name of Public Private partnership( a better name they use-PPP model in news paper], instead of shooting them before barrels of guns. You readers, as a story teller, I can say that you can spot a very rare cases of tuberculosis in their family. Why did you never ask a simple question when it is a simple bacterial disease? National sample survey of T.B in India, which was conducted then by Indian Council Medical Research in 1955-58 on six zones of India,of which West Bengal was one state with X ray of chest and that survey revealed that there were 5 million cases and of whom 1.5 million were infectious. In 1959, National TB Control Programme so started at Bangalore by Government of India with active co-operation of WHO and NTP started with collaboration of GOI,WHO & IDA, but it suffered then with inadequate funding, inadequate and high shop price of Anti Tuberculosis Drugs(ATD), managerial weakness and non adherence of drugs (30% could complete treatment) and high death rate. In 1993, Revised National TB control programme (RNTCP) started and started DOT (Directly Observed Treatment ;short course) strategy, since good quality anti TB drugs, smear microscopy was enough costly and was not freely available and was not decentralized and there were no comprehensive T.B control services effective and patient safety. Since 2000 within NTCP programme strengthened with adequate funds, staff and other essential inputs, managerial responsibility and creation of sub-district level supervisory team, comprising of senior treatment supervisor, senior T.B labarotory supervisor, designated Medical Officer of WBHS for TB control, diagnostic services for existing microscopy centers for one lack population and decentralized financial system to supply quality Anti TB drugs, drug procurement, distribution. But problem came with other sides like development of drug resistance Tuberculosis particularly with MDR, XDR and TDR due to inefficient administration of effective treatment, poor case handling by Private health care institutions & nursing home doctors, use of substandard drugs, inadequate and irregular drug supply in suburban & rural village areas, high side effects of drugs, non adherence of anti TB drugs due to its high cost for purchase to low and poor socioeconomic status people,unemployed, jobless, slum people, refuzee people, who can not have even their regular meal. MDR TB requires 18-24 months treatment and infact few patients have that financial power or stamina to complete the treatment. TB remains still stigma as the disease is of poverty like AIDS in commnity. MDR TB was raising in West Bengal , 34% in 2004; 35% in 2005; 38% in 2006 and the final result of such MDR or TDR TB is no doubt death. Amongst MDR TB again HIV co infection found in 14%. Then came XDR TB and Totally Drug Resistance TB or TDR in West Bengal. The priority for TB control in West Bengal was never given, when it is a bacterial disease for poor, low socioeconomic class ,malnutrion and under nutrion people. The priority should be based on programme, objective, the effectiveness of intervention and resources like spreading of DOTS achiving good outcome should be 85% or more 2] universal acess for DOTS for diagnosis and treatment, 3] reduction of mortality rate, 4] enhancing quality control of drugs,5] giving respnsibilty to private doctors & private practice,detection & treatment of TB in free of cost 6] formulation of extrapulmonary cases, 7] survllances of case notification and operational research with descriptive epedemilogy,like factor factors- who knows when these will be finally done by sate government of West Bengal?.

 In fact satya now remembers a famous quote by “Albert Eienstien - I do not know how the World War III will be fought in future, but World war -IV must be faught with sticks and stones” and that is due to gradual antimicrobial resisance, antimycobacterial drugs resistances, anti tubercuculos drug resistances is now appeared a growing global challenges. The spectrum of extent of this problem of course varies in different countries and states of India. Though anti tuberculous drug resistances and anti microbial drug resistances is not much more yet in West Bengal , in very near future it must create a lot of rores in the medical circle and political circles of the coutry like India, what Satya visualized to day as a fore see. Another problem with uses of more costly antibiotics will give rise metallo beta Lactamase resistances bacterias. When we look at the mechanism of evaolution of such antimicrobial resistances, it is evident that our native nature has its own strategies. Acqusition of available drug resistances give in a part of survival of fittest strategies of bacteria like any other living beings and we can not do much to stop that, but we can slow down the process by reducing sensitive pressure on bacteria causing infectious diseases. While micro organisms can fight out their battle amongst themselves out in their echosystem, we should do our best to present transgress the boundaries or slow the process of their acquiring resistances determining genes and there is need for national policies which will be practical one and easily implantable and may not be ideal one. Though there is a national level policy and recomandations published by the government of India in 2011, to prevent the sale of antibiotics over the counter sale of drugs, but the policy never worked till . Problems in India are also multifactorial. The health infrastructure is here very diverse and there is more mushrromin of corporate accrediated hospitals run by private care providers without any human face towards ailments. This is awesome On the other hand there is general civil and public hospitals with minimal quality due to financial constrains and budget allocation as non profitable and health being mostly a state subject policy control uniform implementation of restriction of sale of various trade or brand names drugs is difficult tasks here too. More over, in rural villages, in remote areas of West Bengal and in India there is also in acessable medical diagnostic tests even for T.B and therapeutic facilities and qualified doctors available to make a scientific consensus protocol based prescriptions for antibiotics and anti T.B or anti malarial drugs. The local Paramedicals is prescribing there drugs and dispensing anti biotics and anti T.B

 Among the infectious diseases those are prevalent in India and in West Bengal too and in many developing world, tuberculosis is still the major public health issues and killer disease of productive age goups in labours. The WHO report on Global Tuberculosis published in 2011, stated that 8.8 million new Tuberculosis occurred in 2010 world wide of which India had the highest T.B burdain country for 36% T.B cases world wide. T.B controlling is and should be uptaken as a challenge for health control providers,due to ambigious, imprecise diagnosis and long duration treatment and DOT failure. 

Satya felt a throbbing pain within his skull- a boring type headache like migrane. He found his youngest twin brothers Rupak and Ritwik sitting now touching with mother’s corpse . Probably the 2nd body’s turn came now. Hindu death antesty ritual for the departed soul is going on there by a local middle aged purohit (clergyman) . Mr. Chakravorty lit a cigarette. Satya felt thirsty for some puff. But he never smoked before his mother or any elders in his relation, though he is now in rank of a professor doctor by his profession. Satya had tremendous hesitations to ask for a cigarette from Mr. Chakravorty. Satya saw a brown colored “Quails car” stopped there in the court yard. Satya recognizes the car very well. From the back seat, a young boy of around 22 years and a well dressed, fatty, well fair complexioned lady around her 52 opened the other side of the door and stepped down.

 Mr. chakravorty steeped up like a spark in the cloudy sky, stepped towards the car” “Where from Gyatri?’

 Gyatri Devi smiled on her thick lipstick stained lips to Mr.chakravorty- a posh kind of smile, looked at satya “ …When it happened?” then she answered Mr. Chakravorty 

--- “ Directly from Kasba, Rinki broke the news over telephone at evening around 8PM”. Satya looked directly at this fair fatty women with beautiful her curling hairs style. This women was once so precious before Satya. Satya always remain grateful before her. He must be ever gratefully. Satya would be no more in this world, if this lady would not be and would extend her friendly gracious hands for satya-. She knows almost all and every hair follicles of him. Satya also knows every inch, every millimeter skin of this fatty fair lady in her forties . Satya suddenly felt now that he will need some rest on wide lap of this lady. For last 6-7 years, satya had no touch with Gyatri Devi-. not her fault but was intentional from his part only.

 --“we visited last Rangadee- ten days back” Gyatri Devi murmured” - she just then returned from hospital- R.G kar. She was so seek! had breathing trouble too… however could drag her legs and hands… could not speak, neither could recognize others”

 Satya asked “ how is Chotoka? had he come?” Satya’s suborned eyes, stucked at deep valley of her two large but inelastic voluminous boobs under her costly valvet red blouse. They appears till so beautiful, though little voluminous, in elastic even at her age 52. Her valley is till so deep,nice & attractive. Satya knew test of sweats buds of her nipples, her boobs, her saliva. He penetrated her some times, licked around her deep brown pink areolas, snaked around her long erected both spout nipples, knows her shivering while his tounge snaking around her nipples, knows her whispering moaning sounds " uhhh!uhhhmmm!isssshhh... satu what a pleasure you are giving me…., rolling eye balls on her eye socket, her muted face when he attempted to touch her clit with his erect manhood 

--“ As usual! He, too wanted to come here having the bad news, to see “Rangadee” for last time. … I did not allow him… he came out from brain operation however… You must understand that ” Gyatri Devi’s large two eyes searched like a torch on Satya’s face though her chromatic glasses. She is ever smiling lady and a happy mairred lady of upper middle class society

__“ That’s fine!” Mr. Chakravorty answered” You are gaining much weight probably… obesity…... control yourself… You can do at least some sort of daily exercise … at least brisk walk in walker or jogging in jogger… Gayatri… you know obesity… central fat kills”

--‘ At this age Jogging ? Phoo! She smiled beautifully on her thick lips’ .. “ where is body? last visit to Rangadee!” Rangadee was so close to me

 “Body!” The very word stroked heavily at satya’s tympanic ear drum – his poor mother passed away only six hours before and by six hours she lost her own identity to everyone in this world? She is just a corpse now! She is now a simple body! even before Gayatri Devi too?. Some other people also called her body!. Satya over heard that. But Gayatri devi’s word stroked him, shivered him, and shook him suddenly. Satya’s mother had so friendship with Gayatri devi.

 Should a dead person, a corpus have it’s identity? Should a dead person or a brain death person have right on his or her own body? On his or her own organs? On his or her dead tissues when operted out given for biopsy or when postmortemed not to be displayed in pathology museum ? If he or she does not have that registered will or donation will? This big question probably yet to be solved in this country like India. Satya murmured in his brain Albert Camu “mother expired today…. may be yesterday-… may be day before yesterday… I don’t know… the Telegram came mother died.The funeral is tomorrow…” The sentence with three words” Today; Yesterday and Tomorrow and I don’t know… had great philosophy Camu did strat his Novel was in fact a straight way great Kick to present society. She died of extreme poverty… she died of Tuberculosis…! she turned so cachetic … She was so neglected.. neglected by her own sons… by her son’ spouses… but she contributed a lot for her children, for her entire family . She was demand less She had Schizophrenia? 

 Gayatridevi had another relation with Mr. Chakravorty. She is sister in relation of satya’s Mejamamima ( 2nd maternal aunt). Gayatridevi with her son Babun stepped towards the “body” _ Satya’s mother. Mr. chakravorty accompanied them towards the queue. Satya sat on waited on a stone left down under a plane tree. Satya had a migraine like headache. He purchased a packet of cigarette. Satya’s brand is “Wills Flake” Satya lit a cigarette and puffed smoke down to his alveolus of lung. Today he smoked too much. Cigarette tested him bitterly. Satya smokes on average 4 cigarettes nowadays. He breathed the smell of burned human flesh and earth mixed in air in Smasan Ghat.

 Death happens to every life. It is just a state. It is just an event!. It is the end point in the journey of life from this planet earth, after one’s birth to the land of the unknown. It is the end point. It is a biologically, legally, literally inevitable and irreversible event on this planet earth. Satya knows death occurs in Stars, in Galaxies, too. Today however human death no longer predominantly seen very suddenly unless it is sudden cardiac death by one hour, due to dilated cardiomyopathy ( DCM; HOCM) or for electrophysiological disturbances within conduction system of heart, if not treated by cardiac interventions urgently or a sudden accidental death from any causes or suicide or murder. Death occurs today very slowly and at end of chronic life threatening illness say cardiovascular causes like chronic heart failure, say a malignancy, a chronic renal failure or stroke or diabetes with nephropathy or tuberculosis or septicemia in private hospital care in ventilation. Few months ago, satya went through a state wise data on health of West Bengal published by the Health department of Government of West Bengal named as “Health on March”. The causes of death in districts and subdivisions in West Bengal varied. Cardiovascular death and cerebrovascular causes was fifty percent, poisoning ten percent, Respiratory infections was seven percent, burns six percent, Road Traffic Accidents six percent, Cancer two percent , Diabetes 1.42%, when Tuberculosis and COPD is Twenty Five(25%) percent . This is an average district and Sub divisional data of West Bengal in 2010. Satya then became interested in how people in West Bengal state dies. He then contacted the then Register of Health Intelligence Bureau of the state, whose director was one of his senior friends. No doubt a peculiar data satya had then. In tuberculosis still 25% death occurs in West Bengal in spite of 37 years of ruling a left Marxist party in the state- a disgusting figure and phenomenon indeed. We really needed a change- a revolution.- yet to come in west Bengal. A revolution is needed by Proletariat people . Why has no revolution occurred in West Bengal? Middle class people will never do and in history never joined the revolution. Same is upper class people or rich people. At least why do people of West Bengal not demand for a dignified life and dignified death? That could be a theme for revolution at least in West Bengal! 

 In West Bengal up to 60% of death occur at home without any kinds of life supporting care, palliative care or end of life care. Approximately 1.2 lakhs people die each year in this sate of which 15-20% of population die under a hospital care under receiving a treatment. Rest dies without any treatment. It is a real shame before a welfare state. In a developed sate like Cuba of Fidel Castro or in Venezuela of Hugo chavez 60% death occur in acute care hospitals of which 75% occur after discussion to withdraw the end of life care or a life care support. This life care supports in West Bengal state in 2011 are meant for higher, upper middle class people, not for those who are in lower socioeconomic class or in poverty or in bellow poverty line(BPL). Such a life care support is so thinly in tertiary care level hospitals like Medical colleges of kolkata but how they are widely available in private health care institutions or in big nursing homes or in health Plazas and not available in any district subdivisions or in state general hospitals , Public health care systems run by government and every party be it left or right slogans for development of the state Development of public health care—the system is breaking down, gradually will be rudimentary for mushrooming of private health care system. Health care in West Bengal is no more a health science but a health industry of billions dollars now.

 The question stands before Satya is health a purchasable commodity? Is it a consumer good? Should it at all be? Privatization is the contractual transfer of a combination of ownership,operation or responsibility for government functions to any private actor. It induces market principals in public sectors like very high user fees, contracting out and private insurances and leads to growth for profit for sectors. The irrefutable logic for total government responsibility for people’s health and health care raises. Thus question to Satya’s mind about privatization. Up to late 1970s Satya remember, now that government investment in health was merge, in spite of it a network of services in both rural, semi urban and urban areas were created by the state government. Up to mid 1980s health care structure in West Bengal was somewhat satisfactory and rather better in comparison to other states of India. In late eighties and early nineties out lay cut back and concessions to private sectors took place in West Bengal. Then loan from IMF and World Banks began which many state received (Satya was against such loans from capitalists) in the name of reforming health care, calling for sustainability of state health services and health institutions public financial crunch and raise of new upper middle class led to growth of market forces in the health sectors also. The main factors that private sectors grew up are mostly in the curative part, mostly individualized, time consuming, technology based and dependent, and these Private hospitals are houses of mostly non ethical practices, all kinds of corruption, malpracises and huge profit yielding health care institutions. Health care did not improved and in early 2000 private care health institutions over grew mushrooming with very poor quality health care providers (Doctors and nurses) of very low academic background young graduates or postgraduates with mostly non recognized degrees and qualifications by Medical council of India including by homeopaths ayurvedic or unani doctors . Who cares whom?].Sick people are primarily put there either in ICU or in ITU and health care providers there practices all sorts of malpractices,unethical uses of irrational drugs or combinations drugs or interventional cardiology or neurology ,even ventilation continued for already dead one and these private care hospitals ICUs and ITUs are sources of hospital acquired infections which are mostly drug resistant strains of even higher group antimicrobials and patients dies there of septicemias of which 40-50% are organism E.coli- 

 Now and since 2011, the new people's party Trinomul congress came to rule over West Bengal replacing the left front in assembly elections in West Bengal in 2011 People were frustrated of CPM government and wanted to kik off them from throne and they did it in 2011. Lots of changes had been then with all system including the health care system some good some are bad . The changes the government did over the last ten years in health care are totally free health care for all citizens of West Bengal including all medicine, all investigations, free all beds in government hospitals , swasthyaSathi card festablishment of 49 superspeciality hospitals in each and every district or subdivision level , establishment of new fifteen medical colleges for mbbs graduate students with an aim to establish a medical college in every districts of West Bengal state. A good revolutionary job done no doubt. But these private health care system remained as it was before or more worse beyond reach of common people even in covid 19 virus pandemic during years 2020 -2022। Lack of commitment towards patients towards Nobel profession , lack of national protocol based treatment, lack of rationality , and lack of accountability but only all sorts of malpractices and only profit making without any humanities towards ailments and patients party are still most important things in those hospitals on tip of noses of health department administration. Others factors in health care system are lacking of human resources like doctors, teaching faculty, specialist superspecialists doctors , nurses trained technicians there. what a quality treatment they provide in those private care hospitals! Phoo!

In fact Satya’s mother badly needed a life supporting care. But Satya could not provide her that support? Why not ? you ask me? I am not at all exaggerating it or blaming him at all. Because he could not do that. Because he had not enough money. Because of he could not simply purchase the health care from any private health care institutions of kolkata city with his government salary as a professor of pathology and without any health insurances, because Satya was not permitted to spend much for his mother by his pro fuedal spouse’s Sorojini ,various objections or by his other two brother’s spouses obstrucles- who had probably ability and satya had to depend finally on Rupak , Ritwik and Ritwik’s illiterate wife Sapna , on a public state general hospital where critical care system, life support care system did not exist at all. Satya knows it well that he need not to justify himself at all. His mother needed 24 hours caring nurses. But he had modest income to support both his family and his parents, young two disadvantegios brothers. It was not possible with his mere government salary as professor of Pathology beside keeping her in government public hospital free bed. Satya knows today well that for last several years (since 1990s) the left Marxcist party ruled government is rapidly promoting mushrooming private health care providers system through private nursing homes, private health care institutions, Private Medical colleges for generating doctors for those hospitals, public private partnership(PPP model), health tourism, without any kind of state governmental vigilance what is going on there and infact converted a noble free health care system into health industries. Health has turned towards concept of “ health Industries” and a simple purchasable commodity available in open bazzar market of Kolkata city or in districts towns rather then a health science and this was party’s great achievement for 35 years! for 70% population of state, who have no capability to purchase health from their own pocket. This Party must pay one day for their capitalistic attitude and style and they paid in 2011assembly elections. It was a government for proletariats indeed!. Health Tourism in West Bengal is flourishing from immigrants of neighboring countries like Bangladesh, Nepal, Sikim, Bhutan, and neighboring under developed states like Tripura, Assam, Bihar Jharkand and very occasionally from foreign countries in those private health care providers. They mostly come in private health care institutions of Kolkata city to avoid long waiting lists of referrals in their own countries or to have treatment at a cheaper rate then it is in their own countries or to have human organs( like kidney liver lungs) purchasable, particularly for kidney or liver or stem cell transplant, which are banned by laws in their own countries, or to have a surrogate mother to have eggs for fertilization or their uterus to grow and give birth of their invitro fertilized eggs at very minimum cost from the poor class, young unemployed,jobless people, in poverty line through a racket system. Here again how proletariat people are exploited regularly in Marxist ruling of the state. What kind of marxcism really ruled the state of West Bengal for 35 years! 

 But there exist no room for access of 50% population in the health insurances who are in poverty line but by vote of these people government is selected for five years .by their electoral votes only the ruling party form government for 7th time for last 35 years since 1977 and exactly 57% of people who cast their electoral for the left party amongst 86% of people who apply their voter rights in an election for favor of Marxist party. And they are people of poverty line or bellow poverty line of suburb belt and rural West Bengal, i. e slum dwellers, the pavement dwellers, Peasents, the refugees, the unemployed people, the farmers, the laborers of industries, the proletariat people. Satya never understood why these people, arrange long rally Bangla Bandh, for them, and cast their most valuable votes( every polls in democracy has much value} for the left party in democratic system? What did they gain from this government beside a centralized dictatorship or a regimented party cadre or building promoter of some self declared intellectual people. Poor class people, poor socioeconomic urban and suburban people, slum dwellers people, peasants, beggars, hawkers, Rickshaw pullers, auto rickshaw drivers, bus drivers, home maid servants, CiTU workers says that the left part was for the proletariat once but not now for last 20 years. Satya’s father “ late BholaBabu” and his friend “late Gopal Das” used to tell him in his boyhood like these Satya for last 17-18 years never felt it from his inner core of heart. He analyzed it critically. It became rather today party for upper class, a party for flat promoters, multiplex, shopping malls promoters, Syndicates, party for businessmen, party for big traders & industrialists. This party works today for these class peoples and favors spread of capitalism in the cities and villages ,suburban districts, subdivisions peoples remained neglected for last 17-18 years in last three left party ministries in question of developments. Whatever development one will see or happened it were city based or town based and as per rules of time. And this party has no credit for such. The public health care became gradually sick boy when private health care turned a fat boy from a thin air. The government and party became synonymous in last 20 years and in every sphere party entered and party turned health care- a basic human right- a hoax- a purchasable commodity, very costly out of rich of 73% peoples of the state- One of result was his mother -… his family - so many families – so many children – so many infants are suffering from malnutrition, Round or Hook Worm infestation, under nutrition, diarrhea, infection, pneumonia and dying and became ruined by selling their last resorts to bear the cost of treatment, unnecessary investigations, interventions in those private health care industries . This state needed a Che Guevara and a Fidel Castro or a Roul Castro or Hugo Chaveg or Gene sharp at least. And most of so called middle class educated people of this country are highly corrupted people and doctors in the private health care sectors are simply dacoits and every individuals in those sectors are highly corrupted individuals even with terminal illness of a person.-

The communist party in the provinces of West Bengal, India, possibly did some how believe that through the course of low level party’s feudalism, and so called capitalistic development of cities and town’s heavy industries, the proletariats would one day gradually grew to power and uplift in middle class and there will be no poorer{ in fact in India today reverse became the truth that more than 60 cores people are bellow poverty line( BPL) who have no purchase or expendiuter capacity of essential foods and essential living items of Rs 25/= for an individual person in the family(approx 1/2 US$) in rural village and Rs 33/= in towns and cities and only 30-35% belongs to middle class amongst 136 cores population size]. The coversion rate of bellow the poverty line fell in 1.09 in west Bengal in the health on march published by the Health Intellegence Bureue of Health department in West Benagal when in 1990 it was 0.9. So high technology based industries, heavy industries, rather do increase joblessness and unemployment then rather few thousands highly skilled labour workers, for few upper middle class people. No rational person will be against industry. Industrial revolution is always needed for development of a state, ,conversoion of of BPL to APL people. But it must be small scale or middle scale industries under national control . No private organization like it had been done in Bang;adesh, Cuba, Bolivia venezuela did. Open market or Open Bazzar Economy destroy not only destroy a family but also a state or a country. and probably the whole communist world must believed that line also. But when they found that all over the Europe, mill workers were driving to their work places from their home in their own cars or in their own scooter at least; they felt that first that is required capitalism, instead of communism or socialism in West Bengal or in India too. So let we try to deceive those illiterate{?} proletariats, try to please the upper class, upper middle class and upper rich class(30-35% and party’s state or central committee leadership came from upper middle class or upper class ]. So catch the cat at any cost any time. We do not need to distinguish what the color of cat is. Ie where from and in what form or in what condition the money is being invested in West Bengal. Black or Red! White or Black! They were assured from politburo that those damn proletariats people have no other alternate ways but they can live on a pice of loaf as it was in undivided soviet union and that was enough for them. They have no other alternate to leave the comminist party! They must tolerate us what ever we like to do. But intelligently and in organized manner. That was also even the slogan of CPM party chief and of once “CM of West Bengal in 2010 also. A pseudo reality became here stronger than the ideology of communist party of West Bengal during 2005- 2010. Questions of development, improvement targeted versus serving the interests of upper middle class, middle class, the feudal class and rich class,the burgoea daily news paper took leading role must not be compared here-they gave such slogans. Government started serving the middle class, promoter class servs always an open commerce and bazaar economy- what happened in last ten to fifteen or twenty years of CPM Marxist ruling in West Bengal. Marxist in the mid and early 1960s began to gather secretly in small groups . in small circles in town and rural villages forums in order to study Carl Marx’s manifesto, Marx’s economy, Marx’s communism, Marx’s literature amongst the proletariats, mill and industrial labors, refugees, rickshaw pullers, tenants and thatched house dwellers, beggers, vegetable sellers and small traders in near markets and slum dwellers people- Satya himself saw that and he joined in those study circle as silent listeners with his father “Bholababu”. They might not then understand maximum content of it. Satya would not also maximum of its mathematica and science. How would they understand the toughest economics, econometra, theories with their mere educational level? So amongst those, who were however little more intelligent, educated, they tried to simplified the contents of “Das Capital” in their local simple ideology & languages, in order to disseminate it to other nearby circles, whose members simplified it again further in their own form of understanding and further this simplification of the simplest kept passing on and on, so that when Marxism in West Bengal became known widely here as CPI or CPM or RSP party or CPIML party and finally the left front party, and became powerfully rulers of West Bengal in 1977, kerala or in Tripura, almost in same period, Those simplified things became so poorly linked what originally Marx himself told in his “Das Capital” and that can no more be called now an ideology further, according to Satya. and as precisely, as because the remnants of Marx what ever remained in CPM party in year 2000 onward of West Bengal, no longer can formed any scientific logical system of ideas, theories, but only a series of suggestive images of past and some kind of slogans and street corner campagains, some months ahead before any polling or an election. The party cadres gave with a politburue manifesto directives ,red colored flag (worker’s wrist with a hammer, castle and star so on so on). What I, here as a story teller want to say, that over the last 25 years and at least by last 10 years or so there was gradual generically planetary transformation of idealism of Marxism to an imagology amongst Bengalee people and then you may ask me what was that imagology?. I must say it is some thing like advertising in daily news paper what party and minister wants to do but not actually what they did, shows faces and images of leaders in the morning news paper, in facebook, in twitters in internate sites, through various agencies, political campaign mangers, event management, designers, who devises the shape of everything from cars to gym equipments, fashion, styles, walking in RAMP, showiest. show off business, stars detecting (we call it better TRP), event managing, the norms detecting of society by panchayat samiti and social beauty,somewhere by Nagarik samaz- the daily local news paper used such terminology often-the journalists brain child- if you are intelligent guy and analyze them critically you can find al are components of a capitalistic or a feudal society and pro feudal families- all are pseudo showiest glittering- but nothing truly inside remains, beside vast voids, if you search in depth. Marxcist ideologies over last 20 years in West Bengal defeated and vanished due to metro city/town based overwhelming pseudo poss or colonial culture. The real communists workers, who suffered then most in extreme poverty, to build up the most dedicated cadre based party, took themselves gradually aloof in sided tracks or passed away or remained mumed. Imagology had gained here a historic but slow victory over the last 30 years and people of the middle educated class, upper middle class { they are always pro feudal class people] people stopped talking over ideology, the truth, the real and carried the light of candles of dark imagology like candles of Universe. 

 Example was set focused also in Satya’s himself unit family structure, since 1998-1999 onwards to till days, his own spouse, Sorojini-herself. With passing time of their conjugal marriage days, she became much more pro-feudal in behavior ,in character, rather than having socialistic or humanistic touch or communistic attitudes ,mind, notions, and each her behaviors in every steps of her leading life since 1998. She became 100% selfish, self directed pro feudal women and always followed & lived in a caucus of four or five of her own parental family members for her every days to day, minute to minutes decisions, about her own samsar (by passing and keeping aloof her husband Satyas opinion ) became too much panicky, chaotic about Satya’s paterenal needy poor family structure at village Purbapalli, Sodepur , tried tactfully ,forcibly to isolate, out and away satya from his parents house in helping them, tried to hit on his spine intelligently , using very often a gauable stories, theory or gossip about any of them ,showing all possible disgusts ,dys-respects and she disobeyed the basic norms of emanating the ideology of a Hindu Bengalee family norms and a stable joint family structure, unnecessary she became vindictive and chaotic towards even his very old and ill seek parents even to look after them as their doctor son, or his disadvantageous poor youngest brothers Rupak, Ritwik, kausik, sister Dahlia ,when Satya sustained & trained a communistic, humanistic, socialistic ideology and uncompromised views of helping attitude towards them in any possible ways . She however had her own service as a secretariat clerk in an office of kolkata city, had a very good salary of her own living separate in unit family structure 40 Km away from Sodepur, and spent her salary accordingly her for her parents and young sister and herself. She could somehow managed however Satya’s 2nd  brother Tito’s spouse and his unit family- the two bitchs in the world, with a pseudo friendship and pseudo superficial relation .She led her life rather on imagology, as per and according with every moment consultations and advises or order of her only younger sister who was a leo , over their constant cell phones- who herself is a hundred percent feudal educated(?) leo lady without respect to any ideology for humanism and a good follower of show off & capitalism, feudalism, without any meaningfully human idealism for other’s human life besides them in their own coccus , and convincing others people in support of their activities (what ever they never did or followed) and that they are very mindful and respectful persons.They always tried to create a false imageology out side home. Immagegology will one day must ruin them- they never understand that very truth. They never understand imageology is the worst of all things.it will one day engulf them and they will have no point of return. Satya always tried that her daughter does not fall in imageology but he has nothing to do with her as she grew up with decisions of sorojini’s sister and her coccus. Satya’s youngest brothers Rupak, Ritwik, and Pinto till days believe and lead their life on idealistic and in quiet economic struggles, rather than on imagology or pseudo statuslogy. In imagology there is no limit of demands and high demand. And you readers know that imagology is so detrimental for any joint family structure mixed with family politics to sustain in peace, prosperity and harmony, if you fail to implement that somehow and imagology will favors always capitalism, Bazzar economy, feudalism, selfishness, without any humanistic attitude towards others disadvantageous members of family & society. Imagelogy always demands a higher and higher stepping in ladder in the living style and Status to be psudo elitism, everything including self declared statuslogy [and some fine morning you will find that some body, removed, kept aside that ladder and you are then on shoulder of a “Royal Bengal Tiger” of Imagology and you have to either keep on moving with the tiger on otherwise if you step down from it’s shoulder the tiger will make a grand feast of you. You are a feast of goat then.- you are in huge market debt and commit sucide ] and part of open market economy. The larger one, the bigger fish always engulfs and swallow the little and smaller one, rather giving them any chance to be grown bigger and to sustain in life. So, persons believing on imagology are dangerous also to a welfare society, to a Maxcist Party, to a welfare country like India. Imagology grows corruption and must be hatable before conscious political people trained at least in carl marx. Imagology comes ultimately for shakehand of destruction- a day or another- as paristriika and glastonost in the undevided Soviet Union in 1990s. The Soviet economics shuttered like every thing and it was finally broken due to this imagelogy, open market, bazzar economy. The poverty, malnutrition, death rate, break down of health care and female prostitute even from elite class women increased too much that time just for imagology of US dollar instead of Rubell. The communist party in West Bengal province, CPM also lost everything in 2011 election only due to this imagology , in question of seizing fertile cultivating lands from poor proletariat peasants at Singur of Hoogly district and in Nandigram of Mednapore district ,favoring the interest of upper class educated high skilled middle class, technically skilled middle class few percentage peoples employments, for heavy industries, for Special Economic Zone(SEZ), for Bazaar Economy, for the Kenesian Open market economy, for developing mushrooming multiplex plazas, Ionox, International standard Hotel and Bar, for privatization of Health care system as health industries, for Privatization of Education system including primary education, Higher education, and ignoring the proletariats economic, social development,closing the small scale industries and loosing their contact and liaison with poorer sections ,proletariat sections and becoming friends of middle class and upper middle class and industrialists. They forgot that they ruled West Bengal for last 35 years together, based on proleteriates electoral votes from 1977-2010 and never of middle classes { these educated middle and upper middle or rich class people in most time do not like to waste their most valuable time in electoral booth for casting their poll for a party candidate and they enjoy the election day as holiday watching TV or family get together] or upper middle class or rich class or heavy industrialists. What happened in West Bengal in 2011 parliamentary elections! Remember! 35 years of ruling left front government vanished like any thing and opposition came. Actually from 2005 there happened gradual erosion in the strength in CPM party which were manifested in 2011 assembly election of West Bengal and opposition won over 3 millions votes. The CPM government forgot the development should come from bellow level and tried for corporate led development in all sectors that never helped poor people of the state. Involvement of young generation at different level became so poor as leftism was not an attractive option at all, as neo liberal policies created a new kind of generation who may be smart knowledgeable but carrieristic,not at all interested in politics or to cast their votes. The basic mistake was was acquisition of agricultural lands for SEZ, and heavy industries, IT hubs by the left government from poor people- a kind of feudal attitude They failed to Consolidate the unity among poor and poorest as they lost contact with them in last 32 years together and these poor were divided and a major section stood against the CPM party and leaders of party at various panchayat level, subdivision level ,district level, urban level failed to follow a class approach or unity of the poor people of the state. The party vested lands in the hand of left government and the government started re distributing it and problem lied with beneficiaries and CPM Supporters at upper socioeconomic and richer class got the lands mostly. The poor people remained poor, though a few of them got the benefit. The main force of CPM and left party were poor & poorest got divided and a major section left the party. In many localities party’s imageology fell and was not good. There were many complain of high handed behavior of many leaders and there were un necessary and un wanted interference in the social life of common people and in many cases there were corruption. The other thing the party wanted the flags of capitalism and feudalism in name of development and industries, IT hubs, privatization of health and education. The result was obvious. The party’s fixed cadare vote from 49% drastically slipped down to 41% in 2011 election. The damage was un repirable and suicidal. Feudalism also kills the feudal persons a time, unkownigly they do harm of themselves beside others and they are either then over confident or had based wrong information system and they does not feel that even, for their egoism-what Franz Kafka ,told in his World famous book “The Metamorphosis”- through a character Mr.Gregor who had to die ultimately only because he metamorphosed from a Rail compartment hawker to a bigger giant business insect. What a pathetic death Mr Gregor had!

 Why should be Satya sorry that he could not provide his mother, his father, his younger brothers, his sister- a better form of health care- a better form of treatment for diabetes- a little better food, and living conditions to combat tuberculosis, to prevent tuberculosis & Ceribrovascular accident- in spite he is a professor teaching doctor in the government health services of this state? Why he could not provide her mother, blood when she vomited more then a litter of blood , from central blood bank, Maniktalla, with two test tubes in his chest pocket, for two units of blood and took four hours time to return back with one unit of O +ve blood which was too insufficient to raise her hemoglobin for carrying oxygen to her brain cells or to control her left ventricular failure to improve her hypoxia or shock? Did she breathe her last of her hypo volumic shock? / or another new infract in her brain or a sudden pulmonary embolism/ or a massive myocardial infract? No body knows it even six years after her death! No one Knows how and why She died when she was improving from her CVA. Satya tries to analyzes within himself, why she died ,when in that very morning Dr. sengupta examined her, told satya, she is quiet stable, in her pulse, BP, Heart sounds, Respiratory auscultation , urine output and her ECG was perfect before her discharge from R.G kar and her Ejection fraction(EF} volume was > 56% and there was no cardiac motion wall abnormality in her Echo Doppler study With dobutamine stress test, before her discharge from R.G kar ,when in that afternoon, Ritwik told him her pulse and blood pressure was going stable and in normal regular rhythm and her lung bases are free of any congestions and had no crapes or wheeze sounds and she herself could turn herself and opens her eyes to recognize a persons around her, she recognized however at least Sapna.. Then why she died suddenly?- a puzzled question before Satya till days

 The question is, why a state general hospital, a district hospital, sub-divisional hospitals have no effective blood bank, ITU even in 65 years after independence of a country and 35 years of ruling of a Marxist party and by left government? Why satya could not provide her ventricular supportive care to sustain her life? As these ITU facilities were not existing in a State General secondary care level hospitals? Why he could not provide her end of life care- which any upper middle class and rich men and even middle class people can get purchase from a private care hospital at cost of few lakhs Indian rupees . Why upper middle class people will not suffer from Mycobactrial tuberculosis, Pneumonia, ARI, Klebsiella, RTI, Acinobacter Enterobacteria, Psuedomonus Streptococcus pneumonia , neonatal sepsis, diarrhea, sigelosis, malaria, encephalitis, HIV, Dengue & diarrhea. The human organs, the human physiological system are same for all human species- then why poor economics people has lesser life expectancy while rich people has higher life expectancy. Why death rate is high in proletriate group people ?then why not upper class, upper middle class ,rich class people will suffer & die of these diseases in equal percentage in the same country, in the same system? And if they do not suffer or die with these diseases, then it becomes ovious, some thing flows underneath the system that these people are protected from these diseases by the system. And that is privatization. Satya realized that he yet lives in a bogus, rotten left party & UPA governmental system- like previous congress governmental system before 1977. He himself once, his father now late Bhola Babu, his mother, his brothers still, his friends struggled and fought a lot for several years--- wasted their most valuable time in this planet—wasted their carrier--- their education… for the name of communism… for the CPM party… for the Marxism ideology--- for a revolution—that is too far away to come yet. 

For a party that was born in 1960s, grew up with efforts of only poor and poorest people, proletariat people and with a real & noble idealism for declass society and was committed for a revolution ( armed or through parlieament] to banish capitalism or feudalism, casteism in every family, in every Village ,in Indian society, in the factories, in the field to welcome a socialistic structure at least. But the reality was that central core leaders of this party, who were in the long term in State or central ministry or were in central core committee of state or in central Delhi based party and the secretaries of its governments who implements policies makes laws and acts were never came from the grass root proletariat group, never or fewer had experience of revolution, or spending in police custodies for at least 2 or 3 years, rather they were from either from the capitalists class or upper middle class society and were never honest for the socialism or communism or commune system culture. They rather belived in Imagology to take the cream of the power and money. They were not honest towards democracy also. They practiced their Marxism and communism in the theories and were far from implementation even in their own life style in their unit family’s life style. The party for maximum period was neither for laborer, was never for peasants & landless farmers--- never for the slum dwellers, never for the jobless, unemployed persons never for the disadantegious group and they actually did mass hypnotism (51%of their supporters as caders ]… and always confess after 35 years that they actually did all wrong what ever they did for last 35 years or most people misunderstood them, as if every time they were always correct in thie act. Satya understands now that every thing that went on happening in his family was fruit of such an imagology system run in the state and propagated and the selfishness characters in a person in a family is effect of privatizations of educare system for last 30 years. Education in state of West Bengal did never became right by any government laws and acts and like health care system, private educare grew numerously here and there through out greater kolkata & West Bengal as a part of high profitable business, side by side public ( State or central Government aided or government) or municipality run schools, Madrasa schools for backward & minority class puipils of low socioeconomic families. These private buisness schools were mostly english medium as their first language [and were affiliated but not recognized by Indian school certificate board or Central Board of school certificates] mode of teaching from nursery when in public schools, government aided schools, madrasa schools the state government withdrew English in primary section and modeof teaching was mother languages and English to be started from class V as a strict policy of CPM party that was implemented since 1977. The distinction started in primary education level? Haves and haves not. The haves not has no right! Disgusting! These all( I should rather say most ,not all] private buisness schools had run having only affiliation ( it does not mean actually any thing positive any one may be affiliated with any one personally, with any NGOs or with organization or an recognized board or university board without minimum sharing of responsibility, governance about credentials and candidacy] to with either ICSE or CBSE board of Delhi but nither it is accreditation nor permission to run any educare system nor recognition by that school board or university and they had exhorbitant quantity admission charges ,season charges in every years or on their monthly tuition fees, as library charges, as dress code charges ,as book & exercise book charges and for long years together they collected huge profitable moneys from each class (from nursery to twelve standard class) in name of donation fees, admission fees, season fees, examination fees stationary fee and they did all kinds of illegal or corruptions( They often do not give receipt of those moneys], never cared state government act and laws as probably they declared them business houses in open market economy and even they do not feel shame to declare themselves before the supreme court as minority class schools. What a shame- they never bother- the basic charecture of upper middle class- opportunistic parasite or pathogen . If you don’t kill them or eliminate them, they will suck your blood and will kill you. Only the students of high upper class and highly rich class had their entry and affordibility. But the fact is, nither they had accridiation from any National Board(NAC), nor from Ministry of Primary or Secondary education of the state except a kind of trade liscence , nor any recognition from ICSE or CBSE . When the schools under Government or Government aided are recognized or acrediated by Board of Secondary or Higher secondary examinations of the state and their teachers are recruited through an examination system, interview system conducted by School services commissions of government and most often district school inspectors visits, cross examines the standard of each teachers with recognized teaching qualifications and method, syllabus of teaching.These private schools often uses to write in their prospectus in very small letter, almost in unnoticeable places that the school has affiliation only with those authorized recognized boards of government . In 2012, actually the Right for Education of children came with Sincere effort of a gentle Knowledgeable person of UPA government at least as a gazetted Act /law in the country and started unified education system and admission and government inspection & control over private educare. Some private schools and their Association of kolkata, including the La- martinia school, Modern Schools – the so called reputed in kolkata metropolis, went before the supreme court of India declaring themself as “ Minority” sections schools, but the court verdicts went against them and established right for Education with 25% seat reservation for poor sections of the society without any tution or other fees. Please see how these peoples who gives education to children are highly corrupt. So long there was no law to catch them, no right for education, kolkata la martinia used to declared them as grade-1 super class school with total buisness in educare system of west Bengal and as soon as Act or law came out they declared them as minority schools to give them off from the Act? which even a primary village, or a rural schools, or madrasa schools or Buddhist schools , Municipal schools of poor & poorest sections, slum sections, did feel ultrashame to declare themselves as minority class schools. These are simply political game of upper middle class & richer class corruption. They should not have any shame any guilt.They produces all feudal peoples, capitalists people, corrupt class people. What ever, it took 66 years to establish education as “Right” after independence of India. Who knows how many years it will take to declare “Health” and “Food” and “equality of getting job and a house” as a right in India. 

 Satya knows even a state can be responsible for an untimely death in tuberculosis- a death form starvation- a death from a suicide, if it is due to market loan to maintain one’s family sucide for an unemployment or a loss of job, for a case of manic depressive psychosis- a case for schizophrenia from poverty. Suicide: satya once used to think of it so seriously, when he was tremendously frasted to get a job as a medical officer- after completion his house job- after his MBBS degree- he started his private GP for long three to four years. He had no patients as he did not wanted to join in the commission based local chain malpractice GP, paying commission to established practioners and diagnostic laboratories in Sodpur and Agarpara areas or prescribed in band name as per pharmaceuticals direction and literature. He did not want to be corrupt. He used to apply then for a job desperately. But failed. His father Bholababu then already retired from his mere salaried service from AG West Bengal main office at Sarat Bose Road and satya had responsibility of eleven people to feed, to run his family. He could have surrendered to corruption of the state ,local, mal practices at the cost of poor alignments peoples of his locality Sodepur, Agarpara, Khardaha.. But Satya was a communist ideology, like his mousee father BholaBabu. He did not surrender to situation. No body except Gyatri Devi knew it she saved Satya committing suicide, from depression, from madness, from being ruined with her friendship, with her love, with her affection, her tenderness and lastly they had sex. There was left no other option for them. Sex was godly for both them. They understood that truth. Satya himself wanted that from her. There was no audipas complex amongst them. They discussed possibility of it and discarded the theory. She suffered from lot of mental agony for his demand to establish extra marital relationship with Satya. Hpw could it be possible?

 Gayatri Devi had nearly thirteen years of differences in her age with satya. She was however a highly faithful, loyal, hindu wife for her husband- satya’s chotka- the youngest uncle of Satya, whom she married however on a negotiation. She was a loving, caring mother for her own children who then already grew up to his adult hood. She was a highly religious woman with Hinduism and daily practiced worship to God and Goddess in her house . She was devotee of Ramakrisna, read Kathamitra, Swami Vivekanda. But she also realized in her heart satya’s need for her. She could felt how much both of them needed each other. No doubt, she had first extreme sense of hesitation for any such physical relationship with a young boy in such a close in laws relationship like satya, whom she also fell in love with and whom she held from his childhood. She had tenderness, real love and friendship with satya . Satya often demanded his desires that from her, whispering within her ears so stealthy. What else could she do? He next started with fine but shivering touching her body, her sensual parts, and sometimes her private organs when he finds her alone in the house. Satya moved to depression at that time. His fingers touched her entire boobs on her blouse, her nipples, her shoulder, soft skin, nape of neck, her creases in waist, in one evening time, her privacy over her sari and petticoat. For a week or so, after satya touched her privacy and kissed her so deeply mixed with her saliva, she suffered then from tremendous mental agony and sense of guilts for several weeks and finally in one afternoon when she was alone in house with Satya, she also confused her all senses, all her nonsense morality as a loyal hindu wife', all her self resistance before satya and she stood within his arm silently. She surprisingly shivered with her growing passions then, with ecstasy, her desire grew as satya touched her with his fingers. Her long hidden inner sex urge also grew flamming for next hours together as they gossiped, talked and though she tried her best to conceal it from Satya and acted to behave very usal, very normal with Satya, she was preparing herself and finally Gayatri Devi collapsed in arms of seduction, with her great shyness and whispered within herself " no more please satu … I can't wait more...I'm full of Cumming inside mine...i….

... please no more.... That night satya stayed in chotoka’s house. Gayatri devi and Satya after dinner, talked amongst them about her married life, about sex life a woman expects from husband in marriage life, her husband could not satisfied her often . It stimulated her further and set fire in her deeper mind and body –she gradually losing her self resistance and self control.

 Sitting on a chair at the dining table, in the kitchen, facing each other, Satya started to seduce her, to play love games with her. She did not object much to him anymore but accepted it and enjoyed it too. He was a very good player- she understood that immediately. For some time, Gayatri Devi however tried hard to conceal her growing sex (in her brain cortex,in her thalamic hypothalamus down to spinal cord) , from Satya, tried her best to change route of their topic of gossiping rather on some serious issues, religious talk, God, Swami Vivekananda, Ramakrishna, she worshiped or believed. But satya was then determined. He seduced her finally and Gayatri Devi surrendered to him. She was then sitting on a chair completely seduced , with her face down, hidden by her hands,resting on the dinner table, motionless ( even for several minutes squeezing gently her both boobs one after another outside and deep inside her blouse by satya and she never looked even at him? ) from her inner desire. Satta next stood up,walked beside her, leaned and tried to lift her body on his lap.She didn't utter a word still , as if she too was expecting the same way to take her in his arms. She though kept her mute , remaining stared at his eyes, allowed him to lift her from chair and her both arms hugged his strong neck and shoulder. Satya after some struggle for her weight, lifted her in the air . She looked at Satya's lustful eyes. She also sighed off her ecstasy and next closed her eyes as satya kissed on her thick lips. She was prepared for the next to happen. She knew that. Satya stepped with her to his room kissing repeatedly on her lips, while stepping towards the room and before throwing her on bed. She also reciprocated Satya . She came to Satya’s bed with a very high level of expectation for her own big orgasmic Godley pleasure and full of her vaginal mucosal glands warm watery mucinous secretion she felt inside her, female small and big multiple orgasms and soon she began expecting to have it from Satya. She co operated him actively next , breaking off the barrier and shyness she had first and finally separating her elegant shiny thighs apart exposing her vulva, mons full of bushy thick hairs and feeling Satya's hardness in her own fingers in darkness .Time passed on. She left satya’s bed when satya fell asleep. That night before penetrating Gayatridevi, Satya had to promise her ''he will never go to active politics further. He will be good towards his family. He will pass MD… all these or that and after which she allowed him to do all those in the very darkness of the room. And that deep pitch darkness appeared before satya as God. Satya understood why God Narayan also created the universe from nothing in pitch darkness in Big Bang singularity. Why 90% of our universe is dominated by Dark energy. Why Dark energy is so mysterious. Why all creation and all end (destruction , death or big crunch) happen in darkness? Satya till days can listen her moan, her heavy respiratory whitz, her rolling eyeballs, her flickering of leg muscles, jerking of abdominal rectus muscles, her often thrust in pelvis and flickering perineum muscles, her several rolls over his bosom , clinching his shoulder or mid scapula with her nails ,her groaning, screaming, deep long inspiration as he attempted her to penetrate . But she became gradually mute, passive, and satya started stroking within her. She allowed doing anything he wanted to do in the darkness of the room. And such that night darkness was God to them . Satya can not tell how much Gayatri Devi had her pleasure from him, but satya had tremendous pleasure that night… …much then his previous experiences with his school friend kalu's mother Nilima aunt ( she was in her late thirties ,then mother of four children, eldest was kalu in his age ) then he was studying in class nine standard in school. His first experience with Gayatri Devi was so beautiful. Satya attempted to love every inch of her body, kissed every follicle of her skin, simultaneously stroking within her. She stayed with satya in his bed until he fell asleep. Satya and Gayatri Devi maintained their relationship for several months so cautiously and stealthily. But she never wanted from herself and never blackmailed Satya for this- other women would surely did it…. as Nilima aunty did with him finally . Satya maintained no contact with this woman for last 6-7 years intentionally, very purposefully after his marriage. 

Satya began to feel sleepy now. He had now no feeling that his mother lying on a cheap wooden cot awaiting to enter in electric oven in temperature more than 1800 degree to be turned next soon in carbon ashes and bone chips and there will be nothing then left with this women . His mind, his brain impulses was totally vacant! . His mind appeared free and relieved. He felt and had impression that this dead woman body lying on cheap wooden cot did not mean anything more amongst the gatherings, except a few. No female deep voice of her mother in almost all every night call or in every morning Satya started to talk with his parents from a distance of 40 kilometer, from Sodepur Purbapalli village, will rang “ Ssss…Aaaa…tuuuu Raeeee who will look after me? Who will take care of me? How long we have to be in poverty? What will happen to me?”. His 82 years old blind father, “Bhola Babu” will never request him ”Satu take your mother to your flat” . A cost of medicine for her then in Indian currency rupees of 3500/= every month will be saved from next day and may be now utilized in the parent family for their food and for his blind father’s medicine next. But the reality is the truth “ Satya would never hear a very high pitched female voice of fear & disappoint over telephone receiver “ Saa …ttt…uuu ….rrr…eee” Satya again looked at the crystal clear night sky, searching for a dragon star! Where is her mother now? In her journey to eternity at speed of light ? In Journey to an exo planet of Dragon Star? Around her dead body? Around Satya? Around her sons? Did his mother experienced Near Death Experiences(NDE)?- A sensation of passing through a long tunnel- a flash of colorful light?--- a sensation of floating in space time… seeing one’s body from roof height--- A real or a Dejavu phenomenon? Where is his mother’s soul if exist ? A big question before Satya “what is after death of a person?” After death of a Dog? A cat? A decapitated Goat? A decapitated chicken? an ant? Is there anything called “Afterlife”? Is there Soul? As a storyteller, I can say You, But please don’t think myself as expert in this issue that “In this world there are two classes of people 1) Humanists 2) Atheists. Humanists are morally concerned intellect persons, who are not ordinarily religious and who believes everything on basis of materialistic evidences like experiment- result- inference [Idon’t know whether these people do believe in six types quarks; clour particles, sub2 Quarks particles, gluon particles Higgs field, as materialistic but every material what ever we see in universe is made of such particles and even zero mass particle ]. It is like a Marxists belief- like his father “ Bhola Babu” had once in his earlier times. It is like a scientist’s belief with shallow depth! However an individual humanist’s belief may vary immensely from theory of dialecticism to humanism- a central tenet of humanist thought is that world and this life is only one and that in absence of afterlife and a soul.- I am not sure enough what I can say just now. 

But there are a huge and largest group of people who are atheists. They regard GOD as human creation to the theory of creationism to the theory of intelligent design. They believe there is “after life”. There are some places to go after death- like Satya’s mother used to believe. They belief in Tradition of days, tradition of Night and magic worlds

 In the early 20th century, the US physician Dr. Duncan Mac. Dougall carried out a test to his conjecture that “souls' ' if they would exist it must have a mass whatever it is minimum. Unencumbered by an ethics committee MacDougall somehow persuaded terminally ill patients to lie on a very sensitive scale and as they expired and after death most of the bodies in his experiment lost a bit of weight about as much as a slice of a bread. His experiment was never reproduced in the world, as no ethics permitted to perform such in human experiment. Ethical committees are today very powerful, concerned with even animal’s Right & experiments and has their long lists of protocol; So you have to believe on what other people responded on interview in this issue

 40% of European and 60% of US people in science, in a survey told that they belief in soul and in “after life” today. However people in USA and in IRIS do not belief in “afterlife”

 A neighbor stepped before satya “ Purohit calling You! It is now your mother turn and as an eldest U have to perform “Mukhagnee”{ a Hindu ritual of Antim Sanskar where fire catched jute sticks are touched at mouth lips of a corpse before putting in electric furnace and it has scientific ground too that if the person is not dead in real and in deep coma then in temperature on lips his/her brain cells must response }- offering Pindo, then yours brothers will join in the ritual’

 Satya stepped forward slowly. He had to perform Mukhagnee as per Hindu ritual- Antim Samskar. Satya saw her mom- motionless, quite- white -laying on an uncleaned floor before lever pooled iron gate of electric furnace keeping her legs west sided-they placed her so that she can walk now to the kingdom of death. - Only a white piece of tissue paper covered her naked 72 years body. A person broke her old Sakha bandit ( the maiden Bandit ring on wrist of Hindu Bengali women- vital sign of attachment with a family of a maiden lady). Satya sat on his knee beside his mom. He further once, tried to feel her carotid pulsation at her angle of mandibles. No pulse! She appeared to be sleeping, cachetic, parchment white due to bleeding some hours back. Satya looked at her inelastic belly below her navel. Here is the anatomical position of her Uterus, Tube, Ovary. Satya has five other brothers, his only sister, were fertilized here in her tube, developed in that uterus from a single fertilized cells to 8 cells morula to 16 cells blastocoels to three germcell layers to a tube like structure, to trillions numbers of cells to take human shape from blastocoel’s for next ten months time as law of biology and nature. But her shared XX genes of ovum to her offsprings remain always recessive. It is the father’s sperm’s head shared Y or X gene which will be always dominant throughout your life ( The loins hypothesis tells and Who told prof Loins to bring such hypothesis?). What the peculiar cruel law of nature carries on!. If mother’s X gene becomes dominant gene within you, then lots of disease from hemophilia to Duchen muscular dystrophy] you have to suffer. But this dead woman nourished them here for ten months from her own food, what ever she had in her poverty, from her own blood through the placental cord vein . She suffered labour pain for all her six sons and one daughter in labour tables. Rest of her life, she struggled a lot to bring them up, till their marriage- but in return she had negligence, trauma, misbehaviors from his two sons, their spouses even from his own spouse, their family. How people can be so cruel & crude towards their mother? towards their Parents? How people send them in Isolation? In their old age? How they drive out their mother from her own house for sake of another lady? For seizing their last age property and savings ? How…. How … The animals do have their senses about their parents ! but human are losing this basic knowledge and feeling ! How people can eat in dining table or in restaurant or in a hotel when his or her mother beg for food from door to door? How they can be cause of sufferings of their mother”? It is now happening in the middle classes and even in the low middle class society in kolkata and nearby suburban even in villages after marriage of sons. The parents, mother, dependent brothers, sisters becoming burden before an able son. or being tortured from own sons for the property to be transferred of her sons’ or daughters name. – They forget no person beside parents, brother, sister are of himself in the planet- genetically anhis is the present Bengalese society, culture. fruit of imagology of Marxism? For 35 years? Marriage is an institution. Here in that institution the children, the old parents, the unemployed are to be vangurded, solitude. But modern Bengalee people forget that. Today marriage is simply living together and nothing else.- an unit family structure. They never look at their umbilicus? These peoples must not be human! cannot be! They are bitch!They are evil souls! They are monsters! They are with animal instincts. They are bitch- as his 2nd brother TiTo and his family are bitch. Satya stared at her mother’s face. She had also a childhood- a nice and loving childhood & youth- she told Satya. Satya listened that tell. She was a very loving and sweet little girl to her advocate father. When her father returned from court, in Dhaka, East Pakistan, she used to jump on her father’s lap. She lost her father at her 10 years age in a stroke. She was pupils and corneas of her elder six brothers. She was a very beautiful and loving girl- Everybody in her family loved her so much- She was really beautiful with very much fair complexioned, shiny and glistening skin. She was innocent girl with pure heart. But she was not enough intelligent and studious. She did not like conventional studies. But she learnt however origin of this universe- about galaxies- the globular clusters- the stars- planets – Big Bang from one her elder brother- who was then MBBS student at Dhaka and became later FRCS as practicing Eye surgeon at Agarpara. She used to look at sky to identify the stars to search her father-she believed that his father seeing them from sky. It gave a permanent imprint and conception in her brain cells about a sketch of observable our universe. She had no scientific background on these stories. she loved to tell stories that how universe started from a big fire ball--- how it expanded-( Theory of inflation & CMB) -- how matter came--- how galaxies were formed—---how a spiral galaxy looks like--- how elliptical were there----- how cosmic rays come--- how stars were formed--- how stars die—--how supernova and nova happened. She told about Large Megalonic cloud--- about our spiral galaxy- solar system----sun---- asteroid Dinosaurs---- Adam –-- Eve, Noaha in earth- re creation. She believed in a creator of each and every Galaxies_ GOD and Goddess of every solar system. She believed in Creationism_ she believed in extraterrestrial life in this universe- She imagined them in every form of variables. she used to tell satya and his brother’s and sister un tiredly these stories in their child hoods. She loved to tell stories about stars- she told dragon star. She married satya’s father in 1954- a refugee migrant family from East Pakistan during division of Bengal in 1947. Satya’s father was a brilliant student of commerce honors graduation and Post Graduation from University of Calcutta, struggling with poverty of refugees and displacement, eviction- with a Marxist idealism, views and activities in his mind set, working for refugees, poor of the poorest at Sodepur, “Purbapalli village”. Her destiny so so changed with her husband. She also started struggling with inevitable poverty for life style policy of her husband as communist and Marxist. She sacrificed her life for the family welfare to bring up her offspring’s without any question and promise. It was very true when Satya was at home, his mother used to spend his time just watching Satya silently and economic stability came with saty’s and Tito’s service job.She was better. She was then totally dependent on Satya for her treatment of Diabaties, Tuberculosis, for her psychiatric illness, for her living. She was cured. She had much hope with Satya and his spouse. She cried a lot for weeks or more, and she became seriously ill with flaring up her schizophrenic attacks when Satya separated himself out from his village home to kolkata in 1988 february with his spouse due to some inevitable dirty home politics played jointly by sonali Pinto &Tito and his wife. She was very proud of her eldest son. She started struggling further a lot along with her blind retired husband two yongest sons of 14 years then two unemployed sons and a unmarried daughter due to home politics from end of Tito’s and Pinto’s selfishness and their spouses behavior and indulgence for such dirty politics. She felt often sorry that Satya could not come to home due to some obstructions-she knew that. For last 18 years Satya hardly went to see her in her home except when she became either hospitalized or had to consult her psychiatrist at salt lake, or in diabeties doctor’s chamber. She alone or Rupak, Ritwik, since 1988 and Ritwik’s wife Sapna took that responsibility for Satya since 2000 to look after Satya’s old enough parents. Of ourse it was also lacking from the part of Satya’s end, not to giving up Sunday’s or hoidays and let him alone making effort of going to bus stop, or sealdaha station, to purchase tickets, traveling 40 Km distance from Sarsuna, Behala of south kolkata or D.S lane, Howraha Government Quarter or from Garia’s flat, buying all tickets and spending 6 hours of traveling to go and to come back in his flat for sake of his spouse and daughter child.

 Satya stood up without saying any thing. He crossed the courtyard of Panihati smasan, where lots of people were chatting in little groups in that night. It was like muted chatter of Budgerigers. They stopped talking as Satya proceeded with Gyatri devi and Mr Chakravorty accompanied them. Satya’s dead mother’s corpus was lying on dirty floor. Satya’s mother was a Hindu Brahmin Soul. So she needed a Hindu Brahmin relegious funeral by Brahmin ghat purohit. Some accompanied& neighbour persons did make all these necessary arrangements. Satya stepped in the room. It had so badly white washed walls with one electric oven. There was no furniture or sitting arrangement to see the funeral. His rest five brothers stood behind him in order of chronology of their ages. Tito stood just behind him touching his shoulder. Satya felt so disgusting, nauseating and uncomfortable with his mere finger touch. He turned a soul of bitch after his mairrage. A saddist charecture- who tourtured his parents for egos of his wife? The room was dirty all around not bathed and satya felt sleepy. The purohit was an old manof arround sixties. Without turning round Satya asked the care taker “ have you been long years?” Straight away he answered “ “twelve years” as if, he was waiting for Satya to answer. The Purohit was chatting a lot with Mr Chakraborty and others. He was a local man. He told he knew “BholaBabu and saw him” The dead women was his wife!- he appeared to be sorry 

 Satya was doing everything what preist { Ghat purohit }was instructing to perform for the Hindu Brahmin ritual. He was doing every thing like a toy with a spring. In his brain cells, he gurgled Albert Camu’s Outsider “…mother died today- …. or may be yesterday. I don’t know… may be day before yesterday…. I had a telegram rom home. Mother passed away funeral tomorrow … That does not mean any thing.….” Satya felt throbbing pulsation on his temporal bone--- inside his temporal cortex. He badly needed a cigarette to smoke.

 Purohit ,finally asked him to perform Mukhagnee. Satya looked up at others, standing there .with a string of finger’s touch on his shoulder including “Tito”

 Gayatri Devi came forward and sat beside him. She hold satya’s wrist along with bunches of fire Jute sticks in his grip. Now satya had a sudden feeling that soon his mother’s body will turn into carbon ashes. She will have no further trace in this world. she looked at Gayatri Devi and whispered “Kanchima is “mom” really dead?” She and his mother were very close

 __“Yes Satya! my beta! Touch this fire sticks on her mouth lips for ten times with mantras”. Gayatri devi whispered “she will then start her next journey for the eternity, for heaven from this place” Satya thaught darkness, dark energy is now again God and she is alone in that extreme darkness as light. But where is she? She must be around her body! watching them. Does a soul has eyes to see has ear to listen? 

-” but touch her once! For God’s sake! she is warm still!.... touch her kanchima…” Satya looked at bundle of jute sticks catches with flames of fire in his grip’ 

_“ I know it beta!. Be a strong my boy ! You are a doctor. I am with you here Satya” she whispered to him again “ a dead person is dead satya—dead for all time. don’t mistake that this body is now your mother. She was within her body… in past and she left this body and… to meet God at heaven ” and you can not step in past nither this body. We have not yet discovered time machine. 

Satya smiled griefly at her” I am strong Kanchima” Gayatri Devi now pressed at his wrist to touch and rest flame on his mother’s lips and mouth.The corpse does not glimpse, do not shout of pain of fire does not move and do not mean anything also..

Satya looked at Gayatri Devi’s slopes of valley of large two in elastic boobs .He saw her boobs are yet large and voluminous, though inelastic and hanging downward, under a tight bra & covered with costly transparent red blouse, but still very attractive. Satya looked at her circular large ass hips and pelvis. So large and voluminous. Satya knows how much beautifully warm thick bushy vulvae this lady once had in between her two glistening elegant thighs. One could die easily in between them. Satya thought, he now needs this women again. He needs her terribly at least for few days. Satya wants to lick sweats of inner side of her thighs and inner of her labials of his Kanchima and want to listen her feminine voice of moaning, while sucking her nipple or snaking around her erected clits and fingering around her anal skin. Sayta knows she likes all these games. She liked satya’s love game and she used to advice him to play love game before penetration in her

 After Satya’s ritual performance, his rest brother’s repeated the same one by one with preist . When satya’s next brother “Tito” performed it satya grumbled the word within himself” “bitch”. The Preist began his prayers for the departed souls in loud voices from the point on everything then happened quickly. The preist, some flowers, the warden of smasan Ghat went out side then. His mom is now ready to enter in furnace chamber of electric oven . Satya could not however see that his mom’s body was being put in to the electric furnace- a two thousand degree Celsius heat by pulling up the lever. Some people with rest his brothers, hold his mom’s body up, shouted by the name God or Creator of this Universe “ Narayan/ Hari ” in a very low audible voice” Bollo Hari- Hari Bollo” and put her on the iron trolley for the electric furnace. Care taker Dome there, will now pull the lever next and the body will move to furnace in thousand degree Celsius heat. He felt now the real shock. Satya felt within him that how his mom’s hairs are burning first- how her skin is burning…. Her white deep fascia now exposed and burning… her muscles…. her stomach… her liver… her all viscera’s….. her uterus…Oh GOD!… this place where Satya and his brothers, sister took rest, took nourishment during their fetal life.. took shape of human body from a single cell scientist call it Zygote… morula… blastocoels.. a tube… his stomadium-- his brain… the place where his first consciousness came.. as human…he moved his leg… he smiled first… he listened sound of external world through her amniotic fluid… now burning to carbon ash… carbon particles… at finest the quark particle… higgs particles…… the earliest particles in the universe… “We are all sons and daughters of the stars –our sun” this woman used to tell them always in their childhood. 

 Mr. Chakravorty came outside “ She will not certainly take more then thirty minutes…. every person take usually forty five minutes. She is cachetic previously from malnourish… …..from diseases.. skinny . His face was pallor then 

” Satya took permission --“May I smoke uncle?” 

--“Oh! Sure. Don’t hesitate now!”. Mr.Chakravorty went other side. Satya purchased one packet of “ Wills Flake” cigarette-his brand, lit a cigarette and took deep puff- now a bitter test followed through his throat down to his middle stomach. Satya stepped at some darkness towards a tree. Satya wanted to hide himself under a plane tree until the funeral cremation ended. Mr. Chakravorty discovered him behind the tree from a distance of about fifty yards, came and stared deep in his eyes with a look, he assumed was deep meaningful. He now felt no body beside him in his family existed and no body will invite him in “BhaiPhota” from the next time. He held himself in his embrace. Satya now discovered tears at corner of his eyes. Satya said “will you come in Saturday next, will be the Saradhya ceremony{ sacred Ceremony} of your Only Sister’s departed soul”

-“ I must try. Every thing depends on your mami.” – They felt silent then. All neighbors relatives sat in a clustering till the burning was over. Mr.Chakravorty told “ let me go on other side.” 

--“Will you please invite all them to come on Saturday to attain her last funeral ceremony on behalf of me” he requested

 __“ Of course” Satya saw Mr. Chakravorty ordered tea and snack biscuits for all of them . Satya saw Mrs Gayatri Devi walking towards him. Satya looked at high up chimney standing over the clear bright sky- a full moon sky with plenty of stars twinkling…. Our galaxy . Twinkle, twinkle little stars how woundered they are… How far they are..” Satya learned it first from his mother to recite. His mother is now burning inside the electric furnace in ashes…. his mother corpse…. his mother’s fat…. muscles….viscera… bones…. skeleton in smokes…. in quark particles forms… Satya murmured within himself “ forgive me mom! I could not give you peace. I could not provide you minimum comfort. I could not give you enough financial supports. I could not give you better medicine, better treatment.. ..Better food… better nourishment. Forgive me as your worthless son . But believe me I must recognize your silent contribution for myself. For the family… for ours” . He prayed to GOD, the creator of the Universe if at all any exist “ Hi… God… if you exist and if you are real—keep my mom’s soul to rest in peace…. and in heaven… she deserve it…. in a blue planet of Dragon star. Satya bowed his head down before the smokes spinning &    spiraling in the sky.. Her quark particles form-. He again bowed his head and prayed to God from his inner core of heart.

 Is there really GOD? Really is there any soul? Satya is not sure of it yet. Atheists says “There is soul and soul transforms and transmigrates, as a person puts on new garments, giving up old ones, the soul accepts new material bodies giving up the old and useless one, when scientists say there is no soul and after life.

 Gayatri Devi came. Satya saw her. She is really little obese further. But she is still attractive in this age also. Women of upper middle class looks always attractive. Gayatri Devi stood beside him under the tree

 _ “ Sorojini came today?”

_ “yes ! she is in home “ Satya looked at her in starry sky darkness “ how is Chotka?” _ “ As usual. He looks much older after the operation and returning back from hospital . More over his old back pain troubles him a lot- You will surely stay at home of sodepur till sradhya is over?”{ the final ritual done in memory of a departed soul In Hinduism} 

--“ probably not! where is a room in house for us?” More over Sorojini will return back to morrow morning. She has her office also! Our little daughter is with mother in law- She will trouble her in absence of us” 

 --“ Sorojini did never visit your mother—in hospital – before her death.”

 “Nay.. nay! Never.. She ever felt any empathy…. any duty…. any respect for her, not even for any one of our family she feels any thing responsibility --- you know it better Kanchima” 

--“Yes I know something! Rangadee told it sometimes. Rangadee did not even saw your daughter. In fact, I did not also”

 --“ yes you are right! Any how! leave these topic now….. You know she is 100% selfish, petty Burrzoas and Feudal too .. You are little bit obese Kanchima”

__” Is that real?” Gayatri smiled in her lips – a posh kind smile “ I am also growing old” she sighed off her deep respiration

 _ “ I saw you eight years ago.. You came only once after your marriage with Soroj--- You forget me Satuuu…?”

 All these grievances are meaningless Kanchima. You must know the reason behind. I cohabit with a panicky, Pro feudal women.. ..Who is mother of my daughter.. I am to obey her words… she does not want to maintain any relation with any one in relation with her in laws with Sodepur ! You understand it well .She is guided by her own leo sister. And I am helpless… How is Your Blood Pressure? Ok?” satya wanted to change topics

-“ For last two or three months I did not check that “

- “Medicines?”

-“ Taking them regularly. I am however fit than your Chottokaku… Come at Kasba some day all functions are over.’

- “ yes I was thinking also that seriously.. I need you Kanchima…. If possible….. Satya whispered

 Gyatri Devi remained silent for some times staring at Satya’s . She looked at her back. People are far away of them. Only darkness around them. Satya came closer to Gayatri Devi and whispered in crackling voice “ I really need you Kanchima, for some hours at least.. I want to have peace from you … I am tiered.. I want to die within you.. don’t tell me negative…. don’t advice me good…. Kanchima… please…. I dream those nights…. till these days

 Gaytri Devi felt anxious and embarrassed. This is not the place to talk all these nonsense. This is life. His mother is burning in electric furnace when he is begging all these from her Gyatri devi whispered “ what else more I can give you Satu? I gave you everything…. everything you wanted….. every thing a woman has….. and can offer a man… moreover I have crossed that age.. I am an old woman now… I don’t have many of these desires now… I don’t feel arousal either… I am an old woman…Babun is also grown up.. He is now 24.. You tell….. Should I?’

   --“He is doing master degree now?”

_” yes in ancient Indian history” Gayatri Devi stared at Satya’s eyes directly. Gayatri knows, Satya was a very tough, hard, rough as well have a sensitive inner mind flowing within him too” His mother’s death must turmoil him a lot. He must now express his grief… his cry.. sorrows….his stormy mind…. he should burst in tears at least for once. His loss for his “mom” is un measurable. He is just pretending to show mentally strong before his junior brothers. He is the eldest son. So he must not burst into his tears…. he can not cry loudly… Satya probably considers himself also responsible for his mom’s death… death from tuberculosis….. Diabetes mellitus….. CVA . Who ever might know it or may not feel it, Gayatri knows at least that his parents and especially his “mama” was such a sensitive factor, soft corner in Satya’s heart. But Satya probably could not do much for her…as he expected, as doctor son for them, for sake of Sorojini…. she once heard that . Sorojini could never tolerated Satya’s other family members since her marriage and misdirected Satya about them on gullibles tells . Whatever Satya had to do for his parents, for his younger brothers, he had to contribute it from outside and over telephonic advice. But they were so important for him. They sacrificed for his upbringing as MBBS doctor from prestigious Medical College with much struggle in their life. Satya had to depend on his youngest twin brothers and Ritwik’s wife Sapna. They were loyal solider for Satya and his parents. 

 Gayatri knows almost every thing of Satya. At least knew Satya nine or ten years back, before his marriage with Sorojini. Gayatri knows every inch of Satya, every finest touch of his fingers, as she knew her husband too. Probably she knew Satya once more then she knew her husband. Satya during his higher school time involved with left CPM party and West Bengal state left politics. It was his father Bholababu, late Mr Gopal Das and his friend Siddartha(siddhu) and Basu. He joined later with Naxalite Party-the party wanted to bring revolution and declass society in West Bengal . The party was first real terror for the rich people, upper class burzoays people of the state and owner of many heavy industries or middle scale industries, who were declaring lockout for various unknown reasons and their profit only. At that time in the state of west Bengal mid scale and smallest scale industries were closed around 26,000, seek industries were around 29,000 and millions of people lost their jobs more then 45,000 labours died of complete starvation, tuberculosis, more then thousands labours committed suicide. He became terror for ruling congress party with a hidden gun- a point three not revolver. Gayatri herself saw that revolver with him under belt. Satya showed her once. It was loaded revolver. Gayatri was so afraid. Police wanted him seriously once. He acuried vast knowledge about “Marx economics”, red “Das capital”, “Red Book of china”- he red seriously. He was familiar with Fidel Castro, Che- Guevara, Mao-Se Tong. He believed in china’s revolution then. “China’s chairman is our’s chairman” was their slogan and belief. He believed to change the society through Guerilla like movement, through murders of class enemies for the sake of revolution. He then believed in armed revolution in the barrel of pipe gun and revolver. Siddartha was his past bosoom friend… his guide… his philosopher…., ruined him almost. He worked for Siddartha, for the party, till he became a doctor. Other one was Nilima- his school friend kalus mother, He believed her, loved her probably also. But she tried to exploit his situation with a false blame, she became pregnant by him, which was never a fact and ruined his good fame. His family’s fame in his locality. But really nothing happened so. The baby “Revolution” never saw its birth in “labor room of guerrilla Revolution” murdering few middle upper class citizens, murder of few school headmasters, teachers whom they thought also as Burzoaas(?) , few police personals and death of some brilliant student Guerilla cadres of the party . The naxalite people did not believe in the education system of the state, parliamentary election and system. Revolution never comes if common people do not support the path of revolution. Ever Revolution happened in West Bengal? Or in the history of Bengalese? After being a doctor he started practice medicine , Acupuncture therapy ,in labour classes’,jobless people, amongst refugees and he became finally frustrated attempted to commit suicide. Gayatri Devi saved him from his ruin. Gayatri talked with him very sympathetically .She was some times also moved with his idealism… his views… his knowledge. She understood that Satya will not disclose any thing before her, if she maintains her identity like his elderly aunt. She tried first to be his friend, though she was first refused by him. It was Satya’s nature to refuse at first. She tried to change her with her friendship…. her sympathy…. her love… ..then with her friendship. Gayatri knew well, it was an unusual friendship for her. She took lot of trouble, lot of mental pain to change him… to isolate him from Basu, Ideals of Siddartha. [Siddartha was then murdered in a police encounter in 1980s. Satya was highly shocked. Siddartha went to his hostel, had his meal, three days back, he died in an open fire encounter by police. Satya was called in morgue to identify his body. His ghost was still with him and troubled him a lot] .. from politics. Gayatri once took a lot of pain for him. It was in fact difficult for her after maintain her own family, her chastity, her loyal image in her family as a wife, as a loving mother, to maintain her identity in the society but simultaneously to maintain a forbidden relationship with Satya that was changing Satya slowly. He very slowly left relation with politics, became soft, modest , came out from his cruelty, diligent, got chances in MD, absorbed in service and married Sorojini - whom Gayatri and Satya’s chtoka selected for him through news paper advertisement . Every thing was however possible for her, as Satya’s chotoka, Gayatri’s husband had unbelievable faith on his wife, dependence love for her. But after Satya’s marriage Satya kept no relation with her

 Some one called Satya “ come here it is over”

_ Let’s go! Gayatri Devi whispered. And suddenly Satya burst into tears, into cry, sat on ground, covering his face with his two hands. It was needed and highly needed. Mr.Chakravorty, Babun, Satya’s two brothers and Tito came. Mr. Chakravorty told “ “come satya- do your last duty. Some things are left still”

 -“ I cant.. I can’t see her in carbon ashes and bone pieces” Satya murmured in crying

 -“it is your next duty” Tito told firmly

_ “ I cant do that”

 It was very true! When Satya was at his home, his mother used to spend most of her time just watching him so sielently. She cried a lot and became ill with flaring up her schizophrenic mood attack when Satya separated from his home. She was highly dependent on him. She was also proud of him. She then struggled further a lot with home dirty politics from Tito Vs pintoo and Tito’s wife vs Sonali. She felt sorry that Satya could not come to his home. For last 15 years Satya hardly ever went to see her in her home,except when she used to be hospitalized or to consult a psychiatrist at Salt lake in doctors chamber. Of course it was lacking from the part of Satya’s himself not to visit home on sundays and let him alone making effort of going to bus stops, traveling 40 KM,buying tickets and spending six hours of traveling to go Sodepur and come back in his flat. Rather he would prefer to talk over telephone- instead of traveling. His wife Sorojini did not some times also like then that Satya would go to sodepur, as if his brain would be washed by them

 Satya stood up without saying anything more. He crossed the courtyard of smasan, when lots of people were chatting in little groups. It was like muted chatter of budgerigars. They stopped talking as Satya procceded. Gyatri devi accompanied him along with Mr. Chakraborty. Satya’s mother was a Brahmin Hindu soul. So she needed a religious funeral. Some one did all necessary arrangements. Satya went to room. It was badly whitewash walls with two electric oven furnace. There were no furniture

Satya with others stepped down as the funeral director led them down the stairs beside electric furnace. The man and purohit accompanied them. He was wearing a soft felt dhoti and a white kurta. The funeral director showed them the place.The priest was to walk first in front followed by others. The place was pretty hot. There were some carbon ashes and pieces of fragments of her bones- the black tar- on a tray , without the soul we all humans ,all animals, all trees in this planet are just collection of elementary particles- carbon metals. All living animals are made of carbon in this planet – Satya realized the laws of nature and some kind of energy gives us life.

Satya was doing everything mechanically what purohit asked him to perform. After every thing happened so quickly,and seemed to Satya so natural, every one walked to river ganges to take a bath. Satya did not. He sat on a stone. Great tears of frustration and anguish now streamed down his cheek. They just spreaded out and ran together again over his battered face. Satya saw his brothers, maternal brother, maternal uncle bathing in holy water of ganges. He searched Gayatri Devi- She stood alone with her son Babun upstair

After everything was over, they returned home and night was going to fade away soon. The sun- our star, appeared in east sky of home. Satya with sorojini, mithu with his wife left home at 5 AM to catch a taxi far away from home on walking near station. Others stayed at home. As if nothing happened. The blood red morning earth did not trumbelled a pin head moment on his mother’s death. The taxi entered in Satya’s-in-laws flat at Garia at 8 AM. Nothing happened special! No one told him any words of condolence. It did not mean any thing to any one!. Satya brushed his teath & took morning tea. He shaved and decided to go to hospital to take his scheduled MD class at 10 AM.

He was alone in his departmental laboratory. He had a special laboratory in his Pathology department for DNA technology, gene cloning and cytogenetics- he then working as his research and for his Doctoral trainees thesis in Pathology. Every things was meaningless to him at that moment. He consoled his mind “Every living thing must die even these bacterial and viral clones if not subcultured. The death is the end point and only truth in this planet- but what about the human soul and consiousness ? Does soul exist? In what form then ? In what dimensions? Super string theory says there are eleven dimensions at least in this universe. Is soul two dimensional ? In other dimensions? In other universes? Does a marxcist belives in soul? Does soul exist at all? Does it transforms? Is there any reincarnation in this planet? We have technology to form artificial life, test tube babies. We can synthesize artificial DNA that is able to replicate. We can create artificial chromosome as ggod as found in east cells capable of self mitosis. But we can not prevent a death. We can not pour a new soul in dead person. 

Chapter 2

I’m now a corpse but…….

“……. He saw all forms faces and in thousands relationships…become newly born, each one was mortal, passionate, painfully example of all that is transitory. Yet none of them died, they only changed, transformed, were always reborn, continually had a new faces: only time stood between one face and another--- Herman Hess Nobel laureate literature From his book ”Siddartha”

   

2 I ‘m a corpse now. Just a body without me, lying stiff, freezed from Rigor Mortis, on a cheap bamboo made death cot, fastened with many ropes, waiting to be burned in the electric furnace oven in carbon ashes and bone fragments and I am here in a queue of three. See death [You can say it a state and end point] does not distinguish between haves and haves not of the world. The fire flame [Plasma] inside the small iron made room of electric furnace does not distinguish who was rich and who was poor, poorest of poor who is a street beggar or Rickshaw puller or mercedes car owners, who was fat and who was lean, who was white or black, who is richest while I was living as during birth no one is distinguished and every one is same. Only gender differentiation, or weight differentiation either in kilogram or pound. Possibly the first time, I felt myself “declassed, class less” --- I listened this very word several times from my eldest son Satya and his father. I never understood what they wanted to mean by the term. They wants revolution based on this term. I drew my last breath in this planet, at 18-40 hours in my highly poverty stricken roof of our house at Purbapalli village ,Sodepur north 24 parganas West Bengal, and my heart stopped beating, when one of my twin youngest sons Ritwik and his wife Sapna were in house, besides my cot[ this cot was purchased by Satay , after he earned his first salary as an internee in the Medical college and presented us . Before he purchased a cot there were Choukis in my house to sleep at night at the end of which the bed was kept rolled]. My second son “Tito” [ should I call him at all my own son grew from my own ovum , my own flesh, I conceived him for ten months in my utero? Fed him my breasts milk? How did I? He was rather beyond definition of a son-after next day of his marriage had an unimaginable metamorphosis for whole family members including for myself, turned into a devil soul!- I should not say it for my own flesh- but I am undone ] and his wife[ he himself selected that servicing , shroud, dirty lady for himself- what a choice?] were also in their room at 1st floor of my own house. My 3rd son Pinto and his wife Sonali were not in the house and he went for his private tuition and her beauty parlor for their earnings . Ritwik felt my radial pulse, tried to listen my breath sounds and he was not probably sure that I was in fact just dead [he was not however a doctor—but learned many things from Satya , how to measure Blood Pressure from a very old mercury instrument, to feel radial pulse(regular or irregular, drop beats], count and listen respiration placing a paper on abdomen, palpate gently my abdomen quadrant wise, listen heart sounds and breath sound and other minor tits bits and he used those in his own style and almost perfections that satya relied on his findings from 40 Km away over telephone. He could measure my Blood Sugar in “One touch” glucometer and to push subcutaneous Human Mixtard insulin]. He ran up in 1rst floor, knocked several closed doors of Tito’s room and Tito ordered him through the window grill to call Dr.A Sengupta- our local practitioner in Purbapalli- a little distance from our home . Tito became so inhuman and indifferent to us at home. 

Dr. Sengupta also came in morning to visit me. He comes twice a day- as I returned back from R.G Kar Medical college and Panihati State General Hospital, on request of Satya. Dr. Sengupta had a very high respect for my son Satya, as he saw him from his childhood. Dr. Sengupta is nine or ten years senior to me, of almost same age to my blind husband. I saw he examined me. My hubby – a blind man- 80 years old and who always kept us, his family members, his sons & daughter in extreme poverty, simply for sake his Marxist idealistic ism and activities locally, was lying on a separate single cot( locally called as Chouki and he in fact had no financial capacity to buy a wooden English style cot for us) in the room- we shared since last 20 years. My eldest son Satya talked over our land telephone-he provided it for our daily news, with Dr. Sengupta in morning- I understood. I wanted desperately before my death bed; he should stay with me at least during my illness. Was I a selfish mother before society ? He was only doctor in our family- a Professor of Pathology- of course a big shot- Satya’s father used to tell me with his hidden pride for his son { Satya, as growing older resembles his father almost to me]. Was it much and high expectation from him as his mother, who suffered all kinds of troubles to bring up her sons to that level? Their wives[ the new comers female characters] took the ripened fruits only, they never suffered all troubles to prepare to bring the tree up from the seed. But I knew it well, he will not be able and will not be allowed to come to visit me daily & to spent nights beside her dying mother in this house by his spouse and in laws, with whom he is now bound to live with his daughter. Never! Never! and never was he allowed after they were separated from the house- in a sunny morning of 1988. I cried a lot! My Psychosis resurgent! I was put on further Largectil and serinase. His father remained silent and mute! His educated (?really was she educated at all) servicing spouse never tolerated me, neither my twin sons of then aged 13 years only, my daughter of aged 20 years as their dependent. She wanted her isolated unit family only with Satya in kolkata city. But Satya was like a vital circulating organ within body of our samsar, a pivot for myself more than Tito and others. Satya’s Marxcist father, who was then already a name at Sodepur, my husband, was so proud of our this son- He has politicalized communistic ideology brain. He would take responsibility, batton of this family. I spent every thing of mine against him. Our poverty would be no more –he commited me once when satya passed his MD,had his government service as a doctor teacher.- I dreamt for a better life, better treatment, better food for my children, better house roof- a little better economy! was I wrong as an illiterate mother of Satya? How would you feel when someone would cut off your one organ in your full consus senses and you understand the game behind it and you had nothing to do. We people were illiterate, slum dwellers! of no status, we depended on Satya’s earnings,his salary! Titos Earning! The reasons I knew very well. My second son “Tito” also can not come beside my bed, stay with me for a while, when he is in the same house under same roof. Just few steps down stair case. He asks Rupak or Ritwik about my health from margin of door before leaving for his office. No questions were there for his spouse and daughter to ask about me. I don’t understand when in a Marxist and communist family- my hubby tell us like this, few outsiders female characters can bring a big class difference, economic difference and can divide the members of a joint family as haves and haves not bases on status or pseudo status, for what my husband spent his valuable life with “Carl Marx”? How a state can have revolution on declass idealism and why then our life suffered with bad economy? My all life suffered with bad economy even when my two children were a teacher Doctor and an engineer in telcom industry(BSNL) of Govt of India. What does the law states? Phoo! I donot believe now in idealism , law but in Imagology. And that is all.

 For nearly 29 days!, I was in death bed. I suffered a cerebro vascular accident (CVA), the medical terminology; I don’t really hear it ever before or understand a little about it. What I understood in last one month, and felt that I had severe pain within my skull. Doctors told Satya and my other sons, I had multiple infractions (stroke) at level of my thalamus and basal ganglia, corpus callosum and it happened so suddenly, instatiously. I could not move my leg, my hand, my body, several days and nights. The day it happened, I myself cleaned my own bed, my husband’s bed and swept my room’s floor. I felt an aura then sudden blackout, suddenly became unconscious. Over telephonic information of my unconsciousness and instructions from Satya, Ritwik , Rupak and Sapna took me first at nearby Panihati State General hospital {we call it Ghola hospital at sodepur] emergency and at nine in the morning hours, I was admitted. The nurse in the ward, put a intravenous channel and a saline drip in my left anti cubital vein, put oxygen tube through my nostrils, introduced a rubber tube to feed me medicine directly in my stomach and one Ayamashi 

( General duty attendants] put a female catheter in my urethral orifice straight to my bladder with a urobag. My bladder was full and that relieved me a little. I shared the bed with another woman in free general bed in that sodepur State General Hospital. Ritwik and Rupak had no financial capacity to put me in a paying bed or in a cabin in that hospital. Nurse gave me intramuscular injections on my skinny and boney buttock, as it was prescribed from emergency admission. But I had severe pain in my skull. I wanted to express that- but I could not articulate any words and I developed aphasia. Rupak, Ritwik and Sapna were very much anxious of my condition and were waiting for the arrival of Satya from 45 kilometer distance of Kolkata city- Garia. He was on bus

 Don’t think I am describing and exaggerating all things to make you accounted with medical terminologies I used here. I am also a story teller here. I must tell all these I faced. I myself did not know all these terminology before my death. But I am now a soul or Atman and all Atman is part of Param-Atman with highest knowledge of every thing of this universe and its laws. Jiva Atma does not require any book Knowledge like Krishna

 Satya came two or three hours later, saw me, talked with attending physician Dr. Gowswami –Who was his senior colleague once. Thanks to God, the attending physician was then giving ward round and was available in hospital at least. Usually they are non traceable living elements in State General Ghola hospital, and are often seen in their private chambers or in some nursing homes , then in their appointed public hospitals. Why they will care? This is the custom here and people also accepted it as rules here. If you pay few visits at their private chambers for some months and become permanent patients ,they will take you a little bit care, other wise you are treated just as beggar of streets. This the Public secondary level Health care system of this Marxcist state. He talked with him and arranged for me to take in any state Medical colleges at kolkata, by a private hired ambulance. I could realize everything but I was in a stupor and semi coma phase. I wanted to speak with Satya, so that he looks after his old of oldest father- an 80 years old blind man who was for a long time dependent on me for his daily routine. But I could not articulate a single word. I developed motor apshia! My one side was paralysed. We reached at RGKar Medical College in afternoon, on a trolley; I was first taken by Ritwik and Rupak to the emergency room. Satya talked with an internee who first took my case history from Sapna, then a senior on duty medical officer came. He sent me first in CT room and after waiting for one hour on a trolley, for all Para formalities, Satya performed first, my CT was done in brain under a public private partnership[PPP model] diagnostic lab. I was diagnosed to have multiple infract in thalamus, basal ganglia- a region of hypo thalamus and corpus callosum. I had diabetes mellitus type 2 and tuberculosis for a long 30 years or so were being treated with recombinant human mixtard Insulin and other drugs purchased with money sent by satya every months. It costed average Indian Rupees 3500/= per month. I understood with how much humiliation he had to give us that money.

 I am now feeling that one’s former life may persist. Before my birth in this planet there was infinite time and after my death there is also inexhaustible time. I believed it also when I was living and I used to tell it to my children. And now I am seeing myself luminously shining between two eternities of extreme darkness. This extreme darkness and unbearable silence is GOD?. Am I a soul now? I’m now around my corpse. I can see Satya. my other five children, my nephews, my youngest brother “Manik” my friend Gyatri. Does a soul have eyes to sea, ears to listen? Consciousness to understand? All these are still left with my dead bodies. My corpse is waiting to enter an electric furnace of 1800 degree centigrade temperature in the queue in third position. I am very anxious to be burned at that high temperature. While living, once in very past time, I had an experience of superficial burns on my calf area muscles. I had caught fire from a kerosene oil lamp {at that time we had no electricity] and it was probably Satay’s father who noticed it and sprayed water immediately from the well. That resulted in superficial burns but a big loss of skin tissue in my calf region and troubled me a lot until the ulcer healed. My past memories of the pain of that burn terrified me. And now my corpse will be burnt into ashes and pieces of bones. One can say of course who cares, whether you are living or a dead woman? The value as a human being in country India, in state like West Bengal remained always minus in scale. Rather we value the life of a sniffer Dog! It happens so casually, when numbers of a species are too outnumbered and if I am not wrong census of India tells that we are now 136 cores Indians and 12(twelve) cores in West Bengal. Not a matter of jokes! What do you think? No one cares for no one. No one is inevitable on this planet earth. No one should care for one’s departure from this earth. You lived for some time and now you are dead- that means nothing to anyone. The planet will move on its geodesic. The world will run on its daily rhythm.only you are lost forever. What did Charls Darwin said? The crisis would appear! For food, for lodging, for education, for job, for every thing and then who cares a 72 years old lady whether living or dead now? You have ended your life and wait for burning in ashes and pieces of bone. & that is the truth Every minutes so many people dies to become soul in world. You are not special. 

 Rather people always demand [people demand so by their nature and it is however your senses, whether you will respond or not to demands. You are not shouldered back responsibility by law for others to percolate your acquired knowledge ,your experience, your inference- Satya used to tell in that very way, he was then a very rough and tough boy ] tell us what you are seeing now! Is there life after death? Where is your soul? What about heaven and hell? What’s death like? Are you in pain or pleasure? Is there any place to go after death? Look, these are the highest forms of Knowledge? About the universe! About “GOD!” I also do not feel any responsibility for others. You are very right! Satya once was too curious about “After life”. He started a thread bear discussion “Death and Near Death Experiences” in an Astronomy forum of the World repute internet site www.forumastronomydaily.com. He wrote a review article on near death experiences and published it later as Review Article in 2013 in Journal Annals of Tropical Medicine & Hygiene Journal of Ghana, South Africa. I don’t know what the scientists remarked there, but I can describe what I felt when my respiration was about to be stopped (Gasping state). My heart beat stopped after a few minutes of very rapid fast and irregular beating called supra ventricular tachycardia, followed by ventricular fibrillation. That is the way a person dies. It is ventricular fibrillation. You can come back to life again, if you can defibrillate him/her immediately and he will experience Near Death Experience too.-as I did

 I saw myself floating on the ceiling of my room, and I could visualize my body lying motionless on my old cot, over a rolling Ripple bed mattress- my youngest brother”Manik'' gave it for my use when I was admitted in R.G Kar Medical college, to prevent my bed sore. My God! I was looking so old and so cachetic and turned into skinny bones? My face was peaceful. Sapna was rubbing on my leg and feet. I wore an old cotton nighty.I developed a big blister on my left heel .

. She suddenly cried out. My youngest son Ritwik ran close to my bed. He was in Veranda with his 6 years old daughter “Chiki” . He tried to feel my radial pulse, leaned and placed his ears on my flat chest ribs, tried to listen my heart beats over my bony cage of my chest, tried to open my mouth forcefully to push air in my mouth several times and ran through staircase to my 2nd son Tito’s room in 1st floor. I tried to enter my body, squeezing myself but failed. I tried to tell Sapna “why she was crying suddenly, I was perfectly here.” My 80 years old blind hubby could not, however , understand that I was dead. He sat up on his bed and tried to find his crutch to stand with support, to come forward and close to me { He had twice fractures of his leg and Hip and had Austin moor prosthesis of his left hip joint- done by Satya in Medical college}. But his Crutch was a little far away from his reach. I tried to give him his crutch- what I often used to do as my daily duty, before I felt CVA and went to hospital. I went to fetch it but I could not, though I held it correctly in my grasp. I saw Ritwik to run away to call Dr. A. Sengupta. In the room there were only Sapna, my husband and 6 years old Chiki. Chiki could not understand what happened to me. She shook my body and called me” Mum.. Mum”. She often used to call me by that name. I answered her “ chiki .. I am here” but she could not listen to me . Why can they not listen to me or see me? I was perfectly there. It felt like I was dead! . I am a corpse—a body now. 

Since my childhood, I have heard that there are two worlds. After death, I knew and so long believed that souls divided in life merge in the hereafter. Those who did sinful acts in their earthen life, does not have faith in God or worship God (atheists) falls under the sway of devil of hell and many thanks to almighty God, there are of course another world- heaven. I’m dead. But you can tell me I have not yet ceased to be. I must confess it before you readers that I have not encountered till the beautiful rivers flowing besides the silver and gold made houses/kiosky of God and Goddess of heavens, the broad leaves trees bearing plump sweet fruits,sweet vegetables and beautiful fairies and virgins, nor is there any traces of rivers of milk, chocolates, wines, honey and fresh sweet water, neither I have encountered all “souls” of my relate { my mama, my papa, my elder brothers, or sister in laws) or very personal peoples of my in laws houses who passed away recently or some years back. Neither have I saw almighty God yet, I worshiped or believed or used to pray twice or thrice, a day , since my childhood as my daily routine. I believed that what happens with us, in the world , is the wishes of God -re determined as my destiny. What I see around me is deep black darkness and unbreakable Silence. Now whether this silence and extreme darkness is God or created by GOD as Dark energy of the Universe I am not sure. Any believer with a little knowledge of life, after death in Hinduism or its mythology will know that veal content in my state would prose to see the rivers in heaven.

 ***In short term. I am now a dead woman of 72 years. I have not turned into carbon ashes and therefore have not completely left my body, torned my mortal attachments. More over me had desire of living long. My mama lived up to 99 years old. My brothers lived around 85 years old. So I had not left my body yet. I moved surroundings my body with mental agony and tearfully eyes. You look at angle of my eyes! you will find drop of tears in both angles. I moved with my body to the Panihati crematorium, smasan ghat of Panihati municipality in night. Sixty nine neighbors accompanied with my body to salute my last bid. This must be extra ordinary situation for me as wife of a ex CPM leader of village Purbapalli, Bakimpalli. Satya’s Father may be proud of his till days popularity. What is exceptional in our village town Purballi Sodepur is the difficulty one may experience there while dying. Dificulty? Perhaps I did not uttered the right word rather discomfort will be nearer Being ill is never aggreable, but are towns which will stand by you ,so to speak when you are seek; in which you can, after a fashion let your soul to go. An invalid, an old needs small attention, he or she likes to have some one , some thing to rely on and that is natural enough. But at Purbaplli Sodepur in our house there is ectrems of temperature,the uninspiring surroundings, the sudden night falls and the very nature of it never calls for a good health. An invalid feels out of it there. Think what it can be for a dying man, trapped behind hundred of walls all sizzling with heat in march to july of most years and the whole population sitting on outside yard. 

 It had horrible sufferings upon immortal part of mine, though I can no more feel intense pain in my brain cells within my skull –for twenty eight days I suffered of severe pain from my bed sores on my buttocks, on my back or on my heel- those I developed within few days I had CVA, following micro embolus in my middle cerebral artery. I don’t know where it is in my brain and which areas it supplies.

Satya my eldest son and also a doctor, Ritwik, Rupak my youngest twin son, are in a melancholic mood awaiting outside. My youngest bother Manik also seems to be in deep grief. For some hours I felt deep torments of my soul, struggling desperately to enter further within my mortal ugly 72 years body- a lean cachetic body that suffered from tuberculosis, diabetes for long years or to be escaped out in extreme darkness and to tear off all my mortal coils. I can compare these sort of contractions to the surprising senses of release I felt during the time of my death.

My youngest twins Ritwik and Rupak and Ritwik’s wife Sapna {whom I selected from a poorest of poorest family- a refugee family from East Pakistan] cared for me a lot for long years{ nobody except them} and since I came back from the Hospital. As I was discharged from hospital they brought oxygen cylinder, followed drug in schedule twice a day, insulin as described in the prescription, meticulously and in time, fed me through naso gastric tube, gave suction through angle of my closed mouth with syringe, and prevented my pain of death rattling , used to change my urobag, toileted cloths, dressing of my bed sore. In the morning hours, I felt a sense of discomfort in my stomach. Was it bleeding from my stomach stress ulcers? I was on clopidogrel-anti platelet therapy. My mouth was filled with blood and Sapna aspirated it out. 

She was inexperienced.

Dr. Senguta came to visit me with a call in the morning. Satya arranged it over the telephone. He used to visit me twice a day. He measured my Blood Pressure, tested my blood sugar in the glucometer, felt my pulse, looked at my pupils for light reflex, and examined the power of my muscles. Everything was OK. Last day I had black colored stool and Satya arranged for me one unit of blood transfusion. Rupak transfused me with a gel catheter in my wrist as per telephonic direction. Dr. Sengupta prescribed me antacid, Pentoprazole and Sapna gave it through Ryles tube feeding .I felt relief for some time my stomach ache. Dr. Sengupta talked with Satya over the telephone . I could not talk. My speech was slurred- not understandable. Though I wanted to describe my agony to Dr. Sengupta. In noon or afternoon, I can not tell exactly, I passed further black tarry stool called Melina. Satya could collect a unit of blood [?} but he was not informed immediately. I felt then reeling in my head, darkness in my eyes and exhausted. I wanted to find face of my eldest son. He did so many things for us. He is my only doctor son- a professor in Pathology. But he could not come to visit me in my house for last 7 days. He always took my news over the telephone. I knew the perfect reason. He will not be allowed by his wife Sorojini. He was never allowed to come in the house I desperately wanted his presence near my bed. I soon felt sleepy and within sleep and physical agony, I understood I am dying. I fought against my sense of collapse- against my dying. I felt my lungs filled up with water. I felt air hunger- difficulty in breathing. Some one should increase the volume of oxygen flow. My heart rhythm became faster and faster and faster. I was running like a horse in a race. I wanted to shout. But no one could listen to my crying to increase oxygen flow. Suddenly I felt an incredible sense of relief. I felt relief during the moment of my departure. I felt it like a dream of seeing oneself asleep. I closed my eyes , as if I was going to sleep. Suddenly and very suddenly, I found myself out of my body, floating in air on the ceiling of my room. I saw my corpse lying on a rolling mattress on bed. Sapna cried out, Ritwik ran to the room, tried to feel my radial pulse, listened to my heart beats, saw my respiration movement on my flat chest , ran up stairs to call my 2nd son Tito. I was looking around my room from the ceiling. Tito came down half an hour later, when Dr. Sengupta entered my room with Ritwik. He examined my body, listened to my heart sounds with his stethoscope, examined my dilated pupils for light reflexes and corneal reflexes, felt the absence of my carotid pulse and declared me “dead” before all. I myself listened to my death declaration. I turned my face at my 80 years old husband. He had glaucoma , optic atrophy, cataract in both his eyes. His optic nerve was finally damaged from Glaucoma. None of his sons treated his glaucoma, except Satya tried for several long years. He was also reluctant for operation. He gives medicine several times to reduce his ocular pressure. He is blind for many years. He had a prosthesis of his right hips. He was sitting at the corner of his bed motionless. He was reciting from “Bhagabat Geeta” alone. His blind eyes were fixed at my corpse. I looked at his face. He could not believe that I am a corpse now. Long fifty one years , I lived with this man under one roof- I followed this man- I shared his trouble, his belief in communism and his extreme poverty gave birth to his seven clones- I had myself no choice. Our life moved in a bad economy- in a struggling economy—in poverty. He never tried to keep us in better form. Was it due to his passion for Marxism? to live in communism as a Marxist? His belief, his idealism, his tenderness towards his sons, his policy to run a family never gave me a prosperous life- a woman always wants. The party’s direction controlled his and our lives. I know he does not believe yet that I am a soul now. Last night he even told my youngest twins and Sapna” yours mother will be OK by grace of God soon”. How a Marxist and communist believe in God or a supremo of this universe in his last days? But believe me, he believes in God nowadays as his realization. He worships onkar nath,/ Krishna/ Naryana[ the supreme GOD or creator of this universe] every day for his peace of his mind even sitaram DasOnkarnath Thakur- A real metamorphosis of a communist?. 

 Tito and his wife with their daughter came down from the first floor in dress, as if; they were going to attend a party. Tito is without doubt the worst and most selfish of all my sons and I am really ashamed that Iwas conceived by this man in my own womb, when I think of him, and even worse was his wife- a shroud, dangerous character for any family structure to sustain. It was “Tito” himself who choiced this women as his life partner- none of us, as ugly as she is, in her appearance, in her face, phenotype- she is so in her behavior, shrewdness and her character and “Tito” also turned a spineless personal before his wife with metamorphosis and became trouble shooter for the rest family members including his parents. Stya’s wife and Tito’s wife are friends now. Enemy’s enemy is my friend –they believed in this principle. Sapna was long at my feet touching my mortal corpse . Sapna rang Satya several times but he was out of reach- probably he was in a meeting or in his laboratory in hospital, when he switched off his cell phone. Finally she rang his wife. I saw when at other end a female voice responded to her call “ hello!” she handed over the receiver to Rupak and he wanted Satya. Satya was also not at home. Rupak broke the news “ Boudi where is barda? Mother expired. She is no more… I cannot reach his mobile” and put the receiver down. Then for several hours together, Ritwik and Rupak ranged over our near and distant relatives , neighbours to give the news, I saw gradually my little room filled up with my neighbors- my old friends , Lillidee, Sunita, Chinudee, Mejadee, Kana, Biswajit, mother of kalu, kartik, Papia, Bulbul, Rupa, Aloka, Sipra-their children, my husband’s friends ,local people of Bankimpalli and many others. Sapna’s widow mother with my grandson and my 3rd son Pintoo came. They were sorry and in grief for my departure. Some were whispering about my whole life sufferings and of my last few days, some were consoling my husband and now he was nodding his head and beliefs that I am dead- His wife left him for ever. Few drops of tears appeared at angle of his eyes. He quietly wiped it off and lay down again on his bed and stared at ceiling. Could he feel my existence there? How? He does not see a little distance even in daylight. How can he see me in twilight? I came out of my room. The whitewash of the room walls seemed even more old dazzling, than it was before, every angle ,every curve stood to me now so sharply that it became painful to my eyes. Had I eyes yet? It was that point my old friends came in, they surrounded my cropse .Some sat down on the cot beside my corpse. I saw them now more clearly than I ever saw them before and not a single detail of their faces, eyes, expressions escaped me. I could hear their whispering. Mejdee started crying and sobbing silently. She was standing in second row, hidden behind one of my other friends Chinudee and Sunita. I could not see her very well. She was crying with little sobs. The others did not seem to notice her. Many of neighbors from Bankim Palli and Purbapalli, started assembled in our house. I knew faces every one of them. They stood in my little room or near collapsible gate or main gate slumped,gloomy and silent, staring at my corpse or talking next what to be done next. Sapna went on crying a little loudly touching my cold feet. Some one leant over and spoke something to her. But she shook her head mumbled something and started sobbing with regularity like mejdee. Rupak sat down beside me staring at my face. I understand that I am now a soul, like my consciousness, dimensionless, luminous in extreme darkness. But why no one can see me when I’m such a luminous object? But, I can see every one, though I have no eyes now. I can listen them also though I have no ear now. I looked the sky.

 Surrounding me there is deep endless darkness and extreme silence of the universe. Sky is blue and colored with twinkling stars. There is a full moon. The moon appeared to me brighter than usual, more luminous, more larger, round as a coin, accompanied by a blanket of stars. I could not look at sky for last twenty eight days. I searched for the brightest star “the Dragon star”- I named it, when I was living and as a child. Coconut trees are swaying to the rhythm of fine breezes, their color appeared to me silver in that moon light. Everyone clustered around my dead corpse, waiting for my daughter’s family and Satya, my youngest brother Manik. My daughter, my two grand daughters, came around 20-30 GMT. Her husband was outside India. He went to bring me back from the hospital. He left India the day before yesterday for the purpose of his business. She came with her in-laws and her two daughters, in a hired ambassador car. She saw me lying dead on the rolling mattress, on my cot, lifeless. She sat before my body. She came last day also and visits me almost daily, since I fell ill even at the hospital. She was a supporting hand for her parents till she got married. She had a last hope that I shall come back from my CVA. My grand daughters remained silent before my corpse and soon went to another room. I could not understand well, whether my grand daughters and grand sons were very sorry and affected at all for my departure from this earth. Probably they don’t understand the event of death, at their ages. I could not leave my mortal old body alone. The body, which constantly changed from my infancy time to baby to child period to my youth in reproductive ages,[ I had to give birth to seven clones of my husband in this planet in spite of my ill health, and our poverty, schizophrenia, had nourished them for ten months in my uterus from my own circulating blood through umbilical cord, had to bear labor pain, gave birth them by normal delivery facing with all highest possibility of dying during and after labor and brought them up] suffered from many diseases of poverty, worshiped GOD, complaining and surrendering to all mighty Krishna with my belief of his existence and supremo of this universe , undergone metamorphosis to my old ages of seventy two , died , I stood at one corner of my room watching the very room, I passed my time, for so many years and was played as my own samsar –my husband. Was he my soulmate and did we mate ever in heaven as per Hindu belief impregnated within me? Or my search for my soul mate remained incomplete? He was wrong soul? I don’t know that yet. I didn’t know where to go next, I have to go as a “soul”? What to do next? What is the law of nature in this regard? Where is Param Atman or the very GOD Krishna / Naryana with whom I shall finally mix as energy? I am feeling myself, as if, like my own consciousness without my corpse and surrounding me there is an unimaginable depth of extreme darkness and vast eternity. I don’t know what is next. I was afraid and shivered alone in that depth of darkness. I tried to enter my body by squeezing myself as much as possible through my nostril, but I failed to do so. As some one put “Tulsi” leaf and cotton plugs on my two nostrils. So, I sat beside my corpse and stared at my corpse and watched very minutely how I changed due to my death and constantly from my childhood to old age of 72. I found my eyeballs were pale, bulged a little. Froths in the angle of my mouth, bedsores on my buttock and under my heel. But I am sitting here and then am what? Now I had a feeling that “I” and my 72 years “old body were different. The concept of “I” is very curious. I learned when I was living in this mortal world. I, Am, was in this body, and now in a child’s body, also in a boy’s body in every one’s body. I had also existed previously in so many bodies. Myself, my soul, was so long 72 years imprisoned in this body and went on several changes like my childhood, my youth, my life as wife, as mother, old age, suffered various diseases related to poverty from psychosis to malnutrition to tuberculosis, to diabetes, to FCPD to hypertension, to LVH to tachy Brady syndrome to CVA and death and it is my dead body corpse, not myself and I am now separated from my dead body sitting beside my corpse like luminous in the darkness and I am a soul, was covered by a temporary body and have now separated from the body. I am like a consciousness or a soul. In the absence of soul, my consciousness, this body was simply lumps of some matter of carbon, hydrogen, sulphur, Nitrogen, oxygen, and ATP ,GTP, GDP as energies, some electrical signals, water. and presence of my consciousness was numerous, endless, various electrical waves, signals, neuron transmitters since my central nervous system developed due to ion gradients difference across my all trillions cell membranes, those gave spike potentials, Ion channel transporters, within my brain neuronal cells, their proteins, and their architecture, structure, blood flow, metabolism, ATP generations and electrical potential gradient of my Sinus nodes( SA nodes), of my heart muscles to my regular sinus heart rhythm , made this lump dead matter to breathe, to speak, to love, to worship GOD, to reproduce my husband seven clones, and to fear for death. Was this body my vehicle for a short journey ? Was I luminous at all in the extreme darkness? I am not really this body! I was not at all 72 years old woman body; neither was I an Indian, nor the wife of this old 80 years blind man, nor mothers of my seven children, nor is I seventy two years old. I am existing for several thousands and millions years. I have existed in a baby’s body, I had existed a body which was itself dead, made of dead material and like a torn coat, I was a soul, left my tethered  coat now , that consoled me a little. With everyone, I was also waiting for my eldest son Satya to arrive. He ranged he was coming. He was on Bus... He ranged he is coming. 

Some people went back to their house and work and my room started to become empty gradually. My husband stared at my corpse since then. Sapna sitting at my feet with chiki staring at my corpse wiped off her tears and touched my legs and occasionally sobbing. Tito and his family went back to their room. They seemed not at all sorry for my departure from this world. 

 Satya with his wife Sorojini, my nephew Mithu with his wife came .Satya hastily entered my room, saw me lying on a rolling mattress. He asked Rupak for a stethoscope. Ritwik gave him steho, with which he used to measure our Blood Pressure, listened to my berth sound abdominal sounds. Satya put diaphragm on the left side of my skinny bony chest, tried desperately to listen to my heart beats. But it stopped long long ago. It was the sound of silence. He gave thumb pressure on my orbital nerve. It did not cause me to feel a little pain. He drew my eyelids- it again closed. He felt pulsation at my carotid and angle of mandible. There was no pulsation. He looked around gatherings and sat at the corner of my husband’s chouki. He grasped his father’s wrist firmly and whispered “Papa mother is no more” Second time I heard my death news. I am now freed from the prison of my material body as a soul. I sang myself

 “I died as mineral and became a plant

 I died as a plant and rose to an animal

I died as animal and I was a man

I died as man and became a women

 I gave birth to my seven children

 I felt nourished them in my uterus

 I suffered to bring them up

 But they ignored me or their wife

 Now I again died! Why should I fear?

When I was less by dying?

 The Koran says” And you were dead and he brought you back to life. And He shall cause you to die and He shall back bring you to life & again and in the end shall gather you into himself” I will again come back

Within a few minutes I will be put in the electric oven to burn and my corpse will be turned into carbon ashes and broken chips of bones as is simply van other form of earth. While living I was composed of five elements- earth, fire, air, and ether and after death everything goes back and gross material returns to the elementary. In Christmas or Muslims they bury the body and after some time the body eventually turns into dust which again like ash is another form of earth. Sometimes their bones are found in traces after thousands or millions of years as trace called fossil. So long I was living in the world I was much absorbed in the materialistic activity and was very much attached to my material body. I was fully absorbed in the bodily conception of life and after time of death I was worried about what will happen to my 80 years old husband. Should I think about it more? Should I be worried further for him? For my sons? My daughter? My granny’s? Who are they?

 When living this world ,as a Hindu married woman , I believed, rather one can tell it my samskara, in the process of rebirth and reincarnation of my soul”s. I heard that the souls (Atman) are always immortal and imperishable. I learnt it from lesson books of Lord Onkarnath thakur , Avatar of Ishwar- we believe in Him. I am now a soul Jiva atma!. And so I am now part of a jiva Atma, the limited being, who is now still subject to the impurities of earthly attachments

[ like my old husband, my seven sons, my daughter. my house at 7/51 purbapalli. Sodepur, my body] and it is very natural for every death, delusion,[ my life and I am still living] and laws of my karma in my poor struggling life in the poorest socioeconomic status at one end of state of West Bengal. My death, was therefore not a great calamity before me, whether it is the end of all-I don’t know it presently- as my corpse is still in existence in smasan of Panihati, for being burned and I could not yet dissociate from it and I can see myself, Mukhagni that Satya doing just now, and you know ,the first time I did not felt any pain on touch of fire flame at my lips and I am deeply watching myself, as I knew that my 72 years old body , my this corpse will be burnt and perished soon, and surrounding me presently there is deep pitched darkness and extreme silence as if it was a Big Bang Planck's moment or Dark Energy { you know that from nothing, simply from nothing from zero mass, zero time, zero space and extreme darkness( Dark energy) suddenly this universe was created in Big Bang Singularity and 25% of the universe is Dark matter or 71% is Dark energy and only 4% is all baryonic matter and photon -light we see in universe ]. Death is probably a very natural process in the globe for existence of a jiva Atman (being) as a separate entity, and till now I hope that it will be my resting periods during which as a soul, I will recuperates, reassembles its resources, adjusts my course and will return again to the earth with a new body or in some other planets and I shall thus continued this kinds of journey for several thousands of years together. I am certain that I have been here as I am now thousands time before and I hope to return thousands time- but in what form, in what phenotype I don’t Know. The soul is not born, it does never die, it was not produced from any one- it is unborn, eternal, it is not slain, though my body is slain. In Hinduism, I heard that unless a soul is liberated, and mixed with Paramatman, neither life, nor after life, are permanent. When a person dies, his soul along with some residual consciousness (?) leaves the body through an opening in the head and goes to another world [ I came into this life from a blue planet in Dragon Star I had that kind of notion from my childhood and that my dead father stayed there. You can tell it's a fantasy of my psycho mind but I taught my children like these stories,] and returned again after spending some time there. This is the concept. I was not much of an expert to teach you all about journey in the after life and not interested also. But I had such a belief that I lived before on earth in a blue planet of Dragon Star and I remembered that life and they communicated with me. 

It is however probably not very necessary at all that after death all jiva atman should go to only in one world, a Heaven or a hell. In fact I have not yet find any heaven or hell. But there are many worlds, many planets, many exo-planets, planetismals, almost like this earth, big rocks, where life can exist and where departed souls can take their next birth, depending upon his/her activities on the earth, soul may stay in many worlds, one after another, before returning back again to the earth. It may stay in some hellish worlds before moving to the heavenly worlds or vice versa. Whatever may be the pattern, at the end of it, the soul should have learned some very important lessons for its further journey on earth. A jivatma which goes to heaven [planet flooded with colorful lights ], will enjoy the pleasures of heaven and in the end realizes that seeking heavenly pleasures is not the ultimate goal since however intense these pleasures may be, they would not last long. A soul which falls into the darker world [ like many dark planets in Dark matter galaxies and or many planets without any star systems or black holes ] may get a taste of the horror of the evil it tried to promote on earth, with a multiplier effect and with an intensity and severity that would make it realize the horrors of evil. Thus in either case, the purpose of heavens and hells is to impart an attitude of wisdom and detachment to the souls. However, how far these lessons will leave their imprint upon the souls and mould their future lives, we do not know because once they return to the earth consciousness, because of the power of “maya”, they may forget much of what they have learned or unlearned and revert to their old ways. Hence the need for many lives and learning and relearning the same lessons, till they become an integral part of a jiva atman's samskara .

 So far I knew before my death in this planet, hindu scriptures are not probably unanimous as to what happens to a soul after it leaves this world. Vaishnavism, Saivism and Shaktism offer their own versions of soul’s eternal journey into the higher worlds after death, based upon their respective beliefs. In general they suggest that after death, devoted souls to God would go and live in the company of their chosen deities and other pure souls. The Bhagavadgita declares that those who worship demigods would go to them while those who worship the highest Brahman would go to Him only and those who do not believe or worship God will be put in hell. The Hindu puranas suggest that Vishnu and Siva would rescue their devotees from the clutches of Lord Yama (Lord of death kingdom) out of unbound love even if they committed terrible sins. This is a reward for devotion and complete surrender and a reminder to all human that they should surrender to God and remain devoted to Him. Throughout my life, I lived in Purbapalli Village of Sodepur, I worshiped my Istadevata , God, Ishwar Lord Onkarnath and Narayana or Lord Vishnu. I don’t know yet where will be my next place. I have not yet mate any angels of death to take me to Lord yama the kingdom of death, nor I have seen yet heaven or any road towards heaven or hell .However the scriptures are not clear as to how long the souls have to remain in the other worlds before they reincarnate again. They also do not explain why we do not remember our past lives and what causes this loss of memory in reincarnation. One explanation may be that memory is essentially a function of the mind and that mind is recreated a fresh each time a being incarnates. Whatever residual memory and sense of identity the jiva carried after death is either exhausted in the other planes along with its previous karma or further compressed beyond recognition before the jiva incarnates again as new born. So a jiva starts fresh with no burden of the past memories, except some predominant memories and habits of thought and action that constitutes the main purpose of its present incarnation.

However with the integration of new traditions into Vedic religion, the Hindu cosmology grew in complexity and so were the theological explanations about afterlife and rebirth. The Hindu puranas and later vedic literature speak of the existence of not one hell and one heaven but of many suns filled worlds, sometimes two suns on a single planet and many dark galaxies, dark planets, black planets and demonic worlds as hell. Apart from these, each of the trinity of Gods has his/her own world, which is attained by their followers after their death from this globe. Vaikunth is the world ofVishnu, Kailash of Shiva and Brahmalok of Brhaman. Indralok, is the standard heaven (sava) of the vedic religion, remained as a temporary resting place for the pure souls. Pitralok is the world of ancestors while Yamalok is the hell ruled by a god called Lord Yama, who is also the ruler of the southern quarter, where impure souls are held temporarily and subject to severe pain and punishment till their “bad karmas” are exhausted. He is assisted by an very old attendant, known as Grand Grandpa “Chitragupta”, a chronicler, who keeps a huge catalog of the deeds of all human beings on earth and reads them out as the jiva atma stands in front of Lord Yama in his court and await for his verdict. According to Hindu scriptures, both heaven and hell are temporary resting places for the souls from which they have to return again to earth to continue their mortal existence once their karmas are exhausted. But the same is not the case in case of liberated souls. Liberated souls are liberated in the real sense. They are not bound to any place or any condition or any dimension. Different schools of Hinduism offer different explanations about the status of a liberated soul. According to the school of advaita (monism), when a soul is liberated it reaches the highest world and becomes one with Brahman. Simply, it exists no more as an individual self. According to other schools of thought, when a soul attains the highest world of Brahman or of Vishnu or of Siva, it remains there permanently as a liberated soul savoring the company of the Supreme Being and forever freed from the delusion of Prakriti or nature. It does not reunite with Brahman completely. Some of them may at times incarnate again on their own accord to serve humanity. But event then they would not be subject to the impurities of illusion, attachment and karma. A liberated soul remains forever free and untainted even during the dissolution of the worlds and the beginning of a new cycle of creation

 Probably very soon I shall meet all my previous selves and in between time will exist. I will see all those faces and forms in thousands and millions relationships to each other- none of them actually died. They only changed,were always reborn, continually had a new face and only time matrix stood between one face and another.

Chapter 3   

    My Near Death Experiences True or False?

 3My death experience can be considered also as a near-death experience (NDE) and just moment death experiences, that refers, in fact towards a broad range of my personal experiences, associated with my impending death while I had suffered developed a CVA, or while in real death, encompassing multiple possible sensations, including detachment from my own body; feelings of levitation; extreme fear in total darkness; total serenity, security, or warmth; the experience of absolute dissolution; and the presence of a bright light of thousands cores of sun( was that God?) or finding one self as a bright luminous soul without any dimension, in extreme degree of silence and depth of darkness and sky full of night lights- as I had experienced. These phenomena in scientific ways are usually reported after an individual has been pronounced clinically dead or otherwise when they were very close to death, but returned back to life somehow with medical interventions as in cardiac arrest or in septic shock or in meningitis or in CVA. NDE hence the term was near-death experience. However I could not revert back to my life. No one tried or had even had scope to try. Satya, my son, personally worked once on this NDE and he had a thread bear discussion in www.astronomydailyforum.com He has published one article in the medical journal “ Annals of tropical Medicine and public health in 2012 November issue . He will of course tell you reader something about NDE . It was amazing as an article if you read it . 

From the earliest beginnings of the human race, probably people had their largest inquisitiveness: what happens during time of death and where people’s souls and of other animal’s goes after their death, if it exists at all? Is there really the existence of any soul-people who say so? What happens to the soul then after human beings die? Is there any re- incarnation on this planet? My this experience and statement and the scientific explanation before you readers, is about Near Death Experience (NDE) and probable re-incarnation is of course not of mine but of my doctor pathologist professor eldest son who worte it once and sent it for publication in world's most oldest journal of science “The Philosophical transaction _B of The Royal Society London''. 

 But being very modestly rejected he published it another important journal of Elsevier science “ The trends of cognitive science and later in INDUS journal” .A near-death experience (NDE) he referred to a broad range of personal experiences associated with impending death, but somehow revived back to life, encompassing multiple possible sensations including detachment from the body; floating in space- time & seeing his/her corpus, feelings of levitation; extreme fear of dying; total serenity, often or sometimes security, or warmth; experience of absolute dissolution; and presence of a thousands suns bright light, alien lands and river or meeting with keens who are already died . Such cases are usually reported after an individual has been pronounced clinically dead, or otherwise very close to death, but returned back somehow hence the entitlement is near-death experience. Many NDE reports, however, originate from events that are not life threatening also. With developments in cardiac resuscitation techniques(CPR), the number of NDEs cases reported has already increased world wide. Most of the scientific community regards such experiences however as hallucinatory one, dejavu phenomenon while paranormal specialists and some mainstream scientists and aesthetics claim them to be evidence of “an after-life” or “existence of human soul”.Satya himself owned much interests on human consciousness! What is actually human consciousness? How it is acquired in a human child in the uterus in 28 weeks time? It is the driving force of any human being. Is it activity of the brain only? Heart & Lung only? Where does it go after death? Without consciousness, a human being is just a made of lump of some organ specific cells, made of matter( organic compounds) like Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Phosphorus, Sulfur, Oxygen etc that make DNAs proteins, cell membrane, cell nucleus cell organelle . Is a cell like any protozoa or a human brain neuron, say astrocyte conscious of its own existence, inspired of its very intricate functions- that even a super computer can not do so precisely and perfectly? What is then very sense of “I “ or I am?. Has human consciousness eternal connection then? i.e is it related with space time and quantum particles and physics ? Renowned Theoretical Physicist Roger Penrose FRS (Lond), once concluded that the physiological process underlying a given thought process initially involves numbers of superposed quantum particle states, each of which performs a calculation of sorts like a computer or a supercomputer. In what sense, then, is the human mind unlike a computer? Penrose thought the answer might have something to do with quantum physics! Any system at the quantum particle level (a group of hydrogen atoms, for instance) should not have a single course of behavior, or a single state, but a number of different possible states that are somehow "superposed" on one another. What I want to say at quantum particle level a quark particle may have two or more positions constantly changing what Prof. Andrie shakarov- The Russian Nobel Peace laureate & solid state physicist told in his CP violation theories. When a physicist measures a system, however, all the many superposed states collapse into a single state; only one of all the possibilities seems to have occurred then as events. There is also a term may be called as “Quantum Gravity” and “quasi crystals' '. Ordinary crystals, grow serially, one atom at a time, but the complexity of quasi crystals suggests a more global phenomenon: each atom seems to sense what a number of other similar atoms are doing as they fall into place in a concert, what satya himself does think. This process reminds him,that required for laying down Roser’s Penrose’s “Tiles theorem”; the proper placement of one tile often depends on the positioning of other tiles that are several tiles removed. Similarly human mind and consciousness. Its growth depends on proper placement with others people's mind and exposure and how it is placed in the society and in which circumstances.. However, are all these related to Human Consciousness? According to Sir Rogers Penrose FRS Nobel laureate in physics, the quantum process cannot be replicated by any computer or any super conductor now so far human conceived . Are human minds subject to the laws of “Quantum physics then”? Roger Penrose’s Book satya red” The Emperor's New Mind Human intelligence” outstrips about artificial intelligence that exploits physics at the quantum-mechanical level. Look at Schrödinger’s [the NL in Physics ] famous cat experiment. In this thought experiment, a scientist who has no fear of animal-lights activists, places a cat and a vial of toxic gas in a room that contains a laser, a half-silvered mirror, a light detector and a hammer. When the room is sealed, the laser emits a photon toward the mirror. If the photon passes through the mirror, no harm comes to the cat. But if the photon is reflected in the mirror, it hits the detector, which activates the hammer, which smashes the vial, which contains the poisonous gas, which kills the cat. From outside the room, one cannot know whether the cat lives or dies. In the quantum-mechanical worlds, so the two possible events coexist simultaneously as superimposed realities. But in the classical world, only one event or the other may occur. In Quantum systems , the famous two-slit experiment says the possibility that a photon particle can be in two places at one co-ordinate, time. For Penrose also, human consciousness has a non-algorithmic ingredient. At the quantum level, different alternatives can coexist at single time or co-ordinates. A single quantum state could in principle consist of a large number of different, simultaneous activities. Is the human brain somehow able to exploit this phenomenon? When the differences in the distribution of mass and energy between the states reach at a gravitationally significant level, the different states collapses into a single state, causing measurable and possibly non local changes also in neural structures of human brain cortex sulci and gyri, he told. This physical events correlate with a mental one: So consciousness can exit outside human brain in another state, according myself. Let me think the comprehension of a mathematical theorem, or the decision not to tip a waiter. Now back, finally, to the human mind. For Roger Penrose, consciousness is a non-algorithmic ingredient. At quantum particles and sub-particles level, different alternatives should co-exist. A single quantum state can in principle consist of a large numbers of different, simultaneous activities. Does human brain somehow able to exploit this phenomenon? Satya was inspired however with such a concept,& to understand such a related question? Can human beings quantify their own intelligence in a universe, whose structure is in fact fractal one , mostly homogeneous (Isotropic) but slightly non homogeneous (Freidman’s universe model) anisotropic, expanding forever, has 22 dimensions [at least ten(10) dimensions in String Theory III or in M theory Model and our De- quatrain universe of Einstein or four dimension Brane Model of Universe? Strings theories are today most acceptable theory of structure and origin of universe from Big Bang. Cosmic strings are predicted by many field-theory models, and may have been formed at a symmetry-breaking transition phase of early in the history of the universe at some moment of Planck point, such as that associated with grand unification. They could have important cosmological effects. Scenarios suggested by fundamental string theory or M-theory, in particular the popular idea of brane inflation, also strongly suggest the appearance of similar structures .But cosmic strings are so much thin (with widths of order 1/ms =1/(√lh) or1/mv =1/(eh)) that their large-scale dynamics in an otherwise empty or low-density universe was very well described by the Nambu–Goto action( Nobel prize in physics) , a zero-width approximation. The space time coordinates of points on the string are xm(sa), where sa (a =0, 1) are two world-sheet coordinates, and the action is required to be invariant under arbitrary re parametrizations sa →sa . In fact the Nambu–Goto action is simply proportional to the area of the world-sheet: String theory is based on the idea that the fundamental constituents of matter are not point particles but tiny strings, either open or closed (forming loops; for an introduction, see Polchinski 1998; Becker et al. 2007). The theory can only be made consistent in a space time of more than the familiar four dimensions—26 for bosonic strings or 10 for superstrings General theory of relativity ,based on four dimension (taking Time as a dimension and any events as co ordinate ) & three arrows of time where future can not be felt, and if consciousness is made of most finest subatomic elementary particles than it may follow Schrödinger’s Cat box experiment? There are in fact multiple universes like/ or unlike our observable universe based on subatomic particles and anti- Particles[ Rupak Bhattacharya and Prof .Pranab Kr Bhattacharya’s Multiple electrical universe Model Theory]. An end to the any structure of our observable matter( hadron), or human body & its any organ or any living things, non living things either as ultimate particles of six types of quarks or a set of sub2 quarks particles, seems conceivable. By this, I want to mean not just particles, but any damn structure, whether energy or Gravity or even purely informational, or may there be, if soul, underlying the phenomena in question may be made of such sub2 atomic non visible particles to human eyes & highest power microscope [in another state] but may be detected at LHC on Proton and Proton collider at CERN- Geneva. What about Higgs particles? It seems to me that quantum level physics at Quantum Chromo dynamics levels(QCD) itself may be an infinite enterprise for sample reasons that as soon as some 'ultimate' structure is discovered, explaining the existence of the 'ultimate laws” of our observable universe, becomes the next problem. In any event, I shall so prefer to live in an infinitely open expanding and contracting structured universe. For one thing, our minds might turn out to be much more powerful than if the structure went only so far. Computers and supercomputers, superconductors are today artificial intelligences like human mind and also now constructed robots with humanitarian feelings and senses can understand human languages and feelings are already conceived in sciences to rule out the influences of any other special physical process below a certain scale of size at quantum particles and sub-particles . Now DNA robots are also created to cure human cancer. They can isolate cancer cells from normal cells and can destroy them by delivering drugs or correcting mutations. The algorithm must be protected from errors." Our human brains may or may not be so structured”, as Rogers Penrose pointed out very rightly . Physical events at sub atomic particles level might well have an important role to play in human thought process formation, consciousness. Processes at chemical molecular level certainly do in brain neurons. One has only to think of influences of all neuron-transmitter molecules on the behavior of neurons in the brain, one of such like endorphin. Furthermore, it is a well-known characteristic of nature to take advantage of physical possibilities in the deployment of biological operations. If physical structures can be extended to a certain level, is there some a priority reason to believe that the brain must automatically be excluded from exploiting it? What if , brain could exploit levels of structures in an infinitely structured universe? All these are rather super highest level finest questions even at quantum level higher physics and mathematics in perspective of the Universe concept of Big Bang theory. Artificial consciousness & intelligence today is possible through Super computers and semiconductors . NDEs, I do think also support Einstein's theory of time travel . Albert Einstein's theory of Special relativity allows for the possibility of time travel at the speed of light. Not so? During a NDE, some people had however reported travelling back in time(quick past life review )and some have reported travelling into the future. At NDE they can visit the future of one. But in the real world humans can not see the future as there are three arrows of time. Does NDE support a theory of consciousness? Scientific knowledge is today also in a state of flux. New scientific discoveries come along and overthrow often long-held old hypotheses is my experiences in short life at least in human physiology & Medicine or in Physics. A good example is  attempt by scientists to explain phenomenon of light. E= Mc2. Today it is called as wrong theory(!) as faster than speed of light scientists came out with particles called “Neutrinos” . However there are other particle Tachyons that can also move faster than the speed of Light. The whole laws of Universe, all theories of Physics will be changed if E= Mc2 becomes finally proved wrong in analysis of data at LHC at CERN. Ancient religious texts around the world associated light with some kinds of divine consciousness from which everything, including all other consciousness, originated. Before the dawn of science, humanity relied on religious experiences and philosophy to understand light and our cosmos. Then Isaac Newton came and theorized that light is composed of particles. Albert Einstein said the particle “Photon” has the highest speed in the Universe . Further scientific discovery overthrew their theory and led to the theory of light as a wave. When the photoelectric effect was discovered, the wave theory was ultimately overthrown which led to the "quantum" theory of light as a near zero mass particle and a wave both. Another theory of light recently though not popularized well but to high level theoretical physicist “Cone Theory” -It is in space Time. Light moves from a coordinate in a Cone shaped fashion called Future cone and Present cone. Interestingly enough to myself this duality corresponds with a current mathematical theory of chaos ( one of theory exist that universe is brought out of a chaos theory) which may explain how human consciousness might be both a part of the whole and the entire whole of a single non-localized consciousness. Death may be considered also a chaos and anisotropy or not in order state. Ventricular fibrillation or atrial flutter or fibrillation in the human heart may be considered in chaos according to myself.

Science has yielded some very unusual discoveries about light. The energy of light is infinite as per E=Mc2. Light was pervasive at the beginning of the universe as photon particle. All matter so otherwise may be considered light (electromagnetic radiation). Time stops when at the speed of light. This means that if you could travel at speed of light, you could travel anywhere in the universe and can live forever as you are then nothing but simple energy ( Einstein’s Twin Paradox says travelling at speed of light, one of twin never ages if he moves at speed of light and when he returns back to earth after a year long travel in space time, he finds his other twin became old aged 80 years or more when he remained as it, he left the earth). The speed of light is constant for all observers regardless of their relative speed or directions. So time stops at the speed of Light .Can light particles communicate with each other? Human observation transforms light waves into light particles to experience the reality. Humanity's scientific discovery of the nature of light is the cornerstone of modern physics and natural laws of the Universe. It may also the cornerstone of NDE research and consciousness research in future?

Most NDE studies described people had experiences with a beautiful and loving light of thousands suns, while clinically dead. People often describe this light in same way that ancient religious texts described it as divine consciousness. This demonstrates how scientists have scaled the mountain of ignorance to overcome the dangerous pitfalls of confusion and conquered the steep summit of darkness to finally reach the peak of enlightenment only to find a group of holy men who have been sitting there for thousands of years. So humanity's struggle to ascertain the nature of light and consciousness seems to continue to be elusive. The more one tries to concentrate on the location and source of light and consciousness, the more difficult they are to ascertain it. The old paradigm of reliance on  scientific methods appears unable to conquer these challenges because it assumes that nothing is true , unless it can be quantified by human senses using this method. And if consciousness has neither physical essence, nor locality, then this paradigm may never be able to quantify it. Here is required our Quantum theory. In quantum physics, in particle physics, Quarks, its sub particles -colours, gluons, various types of neutrinos, Z, W particles, many leptons, fermions can not be quantified ,neither can be seen in naked eyes or in microscopes. Similar is Higgs particles. So many kinds & types of Higgs particles existed that probably provided mass. No one had even found them or seen them. But in reality they exist in the universe, in our planet. The search is going on. A search for a Higgs particles in the four-lepton decay channel H ! ZZ, with each Z boson decaying to an electron or muon pair, is mathematically reported. The search covers Higgs mass hypotheses in the range 110 < mH < 600 GeV. The existence of the Higgs boson has yet to be established experimentally, while its mass, mH, is not fixed by the theory. The inclusive Higgs boson production followed by the decay H ! ZZ is expected to be one of the main discovery channels at the CERN proton-proton (pp) Large Hadron Collider (LHC) for a wide range of mH values. Using the H ! ZZ and the H ! WW decay channels, the ATLAS collaboration have excluded at 95% CL the mass ranges 145–206 GeV, 214–224 GeV, and340–450 GeV

Thankfully, so quantum theory is allowing new paradigms to take flight such as the theory that  basic building blocks of universe is though hadrons (matter) but at finest, subatomic totally zero mass particles in GEV or Rupak particles (R particles) or in Higgs fields and then why not our consciousness itself?. What consists of Dark energy? No particle yet known of what Dark energy consists of! But in reality it constitutes 75% mass of our universe. Matter is only 5%, Rest is “Dark matter”. What is that? WIMP the Scientists says. What WIMPS does? It does not allow the universe to move away fastest and provides the force to bind particles. Did any person saw WIMP in naked eyes? Could any one proved its existence? The consciousnesses also found in recent scientific studies on prayer which show that hospital patients may benefit from the prayers of strangers even when they aren't aware that someone is praying for them. These studies have been interpreted by research that consciousness behaves much like a magnetic field or through WIMP?

 The old paradigm of observing, theorizing, and predicting doesn't work very well when studying light and consciousness - especially when it concerns NDEs. It also allows "paradigm cops" to dismiss NDEs as being caused by brain anomalies even though the cause of NDEs is not relevant to whether the experience is real or not. Nevertheless, recent studies have ruled out brain anomalies. Albert Einstein, the father of the new paradigm, may have old paradigm in mind when he said, "All knowledge of reality starts from experience and ends in it." The new paradigm suggests that we don't merely experience reality; we can create reality within our minds. and if minds can transcend physical bodies and experience clear visions of verified events which they could not have possibly experienced under the old paradigm, then it is time to abandon the old paradigm and focus on the new one. This became even more obvious when in December of 2001, Dr. Pim van Lommel published an article in The Lancet, the United Kingdom's highly respected journal of Medicine, about a study he conducted showing that 18 percent of clinically dead patients recalled having a NDE. He also documented verified events that were experienced by patients from a perspective removed from their bodies

The earliest accounts of NDE Satya as a reference could however traced it back to the Myth of Er, recorded by Plato's The Republic (10.614-10.621). In this story, Plato described a mythical soldier, Jim Wilhem, who was telling of his near-death experiences, and about an afterlife and reincarnation.” The story then went like this, “……As I was traveling through the light, I was laying flat on my back and I could see the faint outline of this image, which appeared to be very softly speaking to me, but I could not understand any of the words, but somehow, I was profoundly comforted by him. My trip through this light seemed to be very short, and then suddenly, I found myself lying in the tallest bright green grass, I had ever seen on the earth. As I looked around, I noticed that all the colors were absolutely pure and very bright. I was laying down, as I noticed the blades of grass were at least four feet high and about six inches wide. Looking to my right, I wondered, where did the river come from? There was a beautiful stone built wall that was about one half mile high. It was about 400 yards away from where I was standing by the river. Beautiful cosmic music[ sounds of cosmic microwave background of Big bang?], not familiar to me on earth, appeared to be coming from behind the wall. It reminded me of how it sounds directly outside. Yankee Stadium during a sold out baseball game, only, behind the Heavenly wall where people are talking, and also people worshiping, and the sound of people speaking and worshiping in Heaven is much more pure than anything here on earth. The colors everywhere were extremely magnificent (I cannot stress that enough) and beyond any description one could ever believe. I approached the wall but could not see inside of it. It sounded like thousands; maybe even millions and or billions of people's spirits were worshiping within these walls in Sanskrit language, so I knew I was not alone. The other stories of Near Death Experiences of a African Christian “ Pastor Daniel,” who saw two large angels who were completely white, including the pupils of their eyes. The angels were so large that Daniel later wondered how they could fit inside the ambulance. One was as big as the ambulance. Daniel tried to speak to the angels, but one held his finger to his lips, motioning for his silence. The angels lifted him on either side, and Daniel realized that there was now two of him. The angels were holding him under each arm of his spirit man (which was perfectly whole), while his broken body was lying below. Once they left the ambulance, Daniel became oblivious to the natural world. Mickey Robinson was another person who was in a plane crash that killed him. Before his death, he talked about his NDE “…. Standing in front of me was the most awesome sight - I could see a man standing in front of me, but he was not like anyone I'd ever seen before in my life. His garments were shimmering white in color – as if garments of light - I could see .His bare feet and His hands were outstretched towards me as if to welcome me. I knew I was looking upon God … as I looked toward His face the intensity of the light seemed to increase 7-fold - you couldn't make out the form of his face as the light was so bright - such purity, such holiness, such beauty. I supposed He was God! I asked God if I could step closer. I felt I could, I wanted to see His face. Moving closer waves of more Love began to flow towards me, and I felt very safe”. Another such a true[?] NDE experience of Athet Pyan Shinthaw Paulu's, who was a Buddhist monk’s and his story:” was like this I learned later that I actually died before three days. My body already decayed and stunk of death, and my heart stopped beating. My body was prepared for cremation and was put through traditional Buddhist purification rites. The king of hell told me to look into the lake of fire in the death kingdom. I looked and I saw the saffron colored robes that Buddhist monks wear in Myanmar. I looked closer and saw the shaven head of a man. When I looked at the man's face , I saw it was U Zadila Kyar Ni Kan Sayadaw [the famous monk who had died in a car accident in 1983]. I asked the king of hell why my former leader was confined to this lake of torment fire?. I said, "Why is he in this lake of fire? He was a very good teacher when living on earth. He even had a teaching tape called 'Are You a Man or a Dog?' which had helped thousands of people understand that their worth as humans is far greater than the animals." The king of hell Lord Yama replied, "Yes, he was a good teacher but he did not believe in Jesus Christ as the Lord of the universe. That's why he is now in hell." I was told to look at another person who was also in the fire. I saw a man with very long hair wrapped on the left hand side of his head. He was also wearing a robe. I asked the king of hell, "Who is this man?" He replied, "This is the one you does worship: Gautama ." I was very disturbed to see Gautama in hell. I protested, "Gautama had good ethnics and good moral character, why is he suffering in this lake of fire?" The king of hell answered me, "It doesn't matter how good he was. He is in this place because he did not believe in the Eternal God." Some people described NDE in other ways- They were reality in Science and had references to cite. 

“My name is Maria G Rodriguez and I had an out-of-body experience ,when I was young. One afternoon I came home from school and I decided to eat a little snack. I ate and felt tired so I went to the bedroom and laid down. I fell asleep and all of the sudden I felt my body being lifted up gradually and I realized I was floating in the air. I looked to my right and I saw another "spirit" sitting next to me but when I looked at its face it was covered with smoke. I looked around and I saw "other spirits" sitting in pairs and their faces are also covered in smoke. 

Then all of a sudden, I started to go up and up. I was so high up that I could actually feel the clouds on my face and skin. I felt so at peace. I stopped and I saw the tunnel with the bright lights of thousands Sun at the end of it. I started to walk towards the lights and as I was walking I felt the peace and serenity of the place. I wanted to stay there forever and I never wanted to leave. – This story has been taken from “Return from Tomorrow” by George G. Ritchie, M.D. with Elizabeth Sherrill (1978). George G. Ritchie, M.D. held his official positions as president of the Richmond Academy of General Practice; chairman of the Department of Psychiatry of Towers Hospital; and founder and president of the Universal Youth Corps, Inc. He lived in Virginia. At the age of twenty, George Ritchie is said to be died in an army hospital. Surprisingly nine minutes later he returned back to his life through electroconversion . What happened to him during those minutes was so compelling, it changed his life forever. In Return from Tomorrow, he tells of his out-of-the-body encounter with other beings, his travel through different dimensions of time and space[Actually as per string theory of the Universe there are at least ten dimension as large as our 3D universe dimension and there are white holes through which one universe may be communicated with another dimensional universe] , and ultimately, his transforming meeting with the Light of the world, the Son of God, Jesus Christ. Ritchie's extraordinary experience as a MD doctor not only altered his view of eternity, it directed and governed his entire life, and provided a startling and hopeful description of the realm beyond. Ritchie's story was the first contact Dr. Raymond Moody, PhD (who was studying then at the University of Virginia, as an undergraduate in Philosophy, at the time) had with NDEs. It inspired Moody to investigate over 150 cases of near-death experiences, in his book Life After Life, and two other books that followed

 The traits of a classical NDE scientifically are as follows what Satya wrote and published once in Souvenir of Calcutta School of Tropical Medicine after 60 cases of interrogation who was almost dead but returned back to life.

Receiving messages in telepathic form that he/she is dying or will die on a specific time. Satya’s father will receive that and he will announce that 15 th march-2009 will be his last day on earth in the early morning and he will be announcing that event Seven( 7] days earlier to his eldest grandson and not to stop his examination, if something mishap happens that day. 

A sense/awareness of being dead- as I could realize that I was dead. –a corpse

A sense of peace, well-being and painlessness. Positive emotions. A feeling of being removed from the world and refusing to go away from the world. In fact it is very difficult to cut off mortal toil 

An out-of-body experience. A perception of one's body from an outside position. Sometimes observing doctors and nurses performing Medical resuscitation efforts.  I had also an experience of out of body perception. I myself listened my death declaration by Dr. Sengupta before my corpse. My husband, my child. I noticed what others did and thought after my death.

A "tunnel experience". A sense of moving up, or through, a passageway or staircase. 

A rapid movement toward and/or sudden immersion in a powerful light- GOD? I have not seen that yet. Communication with the light. Rather I find now myself as a bright light in extreme darkness and silence. I never experienced such silence and darkness. I have no dimension, no eyes, no ears- but I am also existing. I do not feel thirsty hunger pain nothing

An intense feeling of unconditional love towards his/her mortal body. In fact that I am now having when I understood that my earthen mortal body will soon be put into an electric furnace to destroy in carbon ashes and bone pieces . I am worried how I shall feel that burning sensation?

Encountering "Beings of Light", "Beings dressed in white", or other spiritual beings. Also, the possibility of being reunited with deceased loved ones- possibly I shall also meet my parents on my next journey. I have searched them around me but I have not encountered them yet 

Being given a life review- A Short rapid life review occurs

Being presented with knowledge about one's life and the knowledge of nature and origin of the universe- I had that in my imagination as the Big Bang. 

A decision by oneself or others to return to one's body, often accompanied by a reluctance to return.

Approaching a border wall. river. 

There also seems to be a link between the cultural and spiritual beliefs where one lives. These seem to dictate what is experienced in the NDE or how it is interpreted afterwards (Holden, Janice Miner. Handbook of Near-Death Experiences. Library of Congress Cataloging in Publishing Data, 2009.). 

Kenneth Ring (1980) actually subdivided the NDE on a five-stage continuum. He stated that 60% people experienced stage 1 (feelings of peace and contentment), but only 10% experienced stage 5 ("entering the light"). As it was described in journal of nervous and mental diseases 171;369-75;1983 But as a whole death experiences is very painful thousands and thousand times painful than a person experiences in his total life.

Clinical circumstances associated often with near-death experiences include cholera, cardiac arrest in myocardial infarction (clinical death), After A DC shock in atrial or ventricular ectopic or fibrillation , shock in postpartum loss of blood or in perioperative complications, septic or anaphylactic shock, electrocution, coma resulting from CVA, from traumatic brain damage, intracerebral hemorrhage or cerebral infarction, attempted a suicide, near-drowning or asphyxia, apnea, and serious depression. In contrast to common belief, Kenneth Ring argues that attempted suicides do not lead more often to unpleasant NDEs than unintended near-death situations.[ Source- The Lancet, December 15; 358 (9298):2039-45.] Precisely use

The distressing aspects of some NDEs are discussed more closely by Greyson and Bush [Psychiatry, Feb; 55(1):95-110. ]Karlis Osis and his colleague Erlendur Haraldsson argued that the content of near death experiences does not vary by culture, except for the identity of the personages and religious figures seen during the experiences;[ PubMed abstract PMID 9171810 ]however Yoshi Hata and his team reported NDEs with substantially different contents than those described above[The Natural Death Handbook - Varieties of NDE]. Contributions to the research on near-death experiences have come from several academic disciplines, among these the disciplines of medicine, psychology and Psychiatry. Interest in this field of study was originally spurred by the research of such pioneers as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, George Ritchie, and Raymond Moody Jr. Moody's book Life After Life, which was released in 1975, brought a lot of attention to the topic of NDEs.[ Mauro, James. "Bright lights, big mystery", Psychology Today, July 1992] This was soon to be followed by the establishment of the International Association for Near-death Studies (IANDS www.iands.org) in 1981. IANDS is an international organization that encourages scientific research and education on the physical, psychological, social, and spiritual nature and ramifications of near-death experiences. Among its publications are the peer-reviewed Journal of Near-Death Studies and the quarterly newsletter Vital Signs [www.iands.org] Later researchers, such as Bruce Greyson, Kenneth Ring, and Michael Sabom, helped to launch the field of Near-Death Studies and introduced the study of near-death experiences to the academic setting. The medical community has been somewhat reluctant to address the phenomenon of NDEs, and grant money for research has been scarce [IANDS].However, both Greyson and Ring developed tools that can be used in a clinical setting. Major contributions to the field include Ring's construction of a "Weighted Core Experience Index" [Ring, K. "Life at death. A scientific investigation of the near-death experience." 1980, New York: Coward McCann and Geoghenan] to measure the depth of the near-death experience and Greyson's construction of the "Near-death experience scale [Greyson, Bruce (1983) "The Near-Death Experience Scale: Construction, reliability, and validity". Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 171, 369-375 to differentiate between subjects that are more or less likely to have experienced an NDE]. The latter scale is also, according to its author, clinically useful in differentiating NDEs from organic brain syndromes and nonspecific stress responses. The NDE-scale was later found to fit the Rasch rating scale model. Greyson [PubMed abstract PMID 9171810 May;185(5):327-34] has also brought attention to the near-death experience as a focus of clinical attention, while Morse and colleagues[ American Journal of Diseases of Children Nov;140(11):1110-4,] have investigated near-death experiences in a pediatric population. Neurobiological factors in the experience have been investigated by researchers in the field of medical science and psychiatry. Among the researchers and commentators who tend to emphasize a naturalistic and neurological base for the experience are the British psychologist Susan Blackmore (1993), with her "dying brain hypothesis", and the founding publisher of Skeptic magazine, Michael Shermer (1998). In September 2008 it was announced that 25 UK and US hospitals will examine near-death studies in 1,500 heart attack patient-survivors. The three-year study, coordinated by Dr. Sam Parnia at Southampton University, hopes to determine if people without heartbeat or brain activity can have an out-of-body experience with veridical visual perceptions. This study follows on from an earlier 18-month pilot project. On a July 28, 2010 interview about a recent lecture at Goldsmiths, Parnia asserts that "evidence is now suggesting that mental and cognitive processes may continue for a period of time after a death has started" and describes the process of death as "essentially a global stroke of the brain. Therefore like any stroke process one would not expect the entity of mind / consciousness to be lost immediately". He also expresses his disagreement with the term 'near death experiences' because "the patients that we study are not near death, they have actually died and more over it conjures up a lot of imprecise scientific notions, due to the fact that itself is a very imprecise term". Among the scientific and academic journals that have published, or are regularly publishing, new research on the subject of NDEs are Journal of Near-Death Studies, Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, British Journal of Psychology, American Journal of Disease of Children, Resuscitation, The Lancet, Death Studies, and the Journal of Advanced Nursing

In the 1990s, Dr. Rick Strassman conducted research on the psychedelic drug Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) at the University of New Mexico. Strassman advanced the theory that a massive release of DMT from the pineal gland prior to death or near-death was the cause of the near-death experience phenomenon. Only two of his test subjects reported NDE-like aural or visual hallucinations, although many reported feeling as though they had entered a state similar to the classical NDE. His explanation for this was the possible lack of panic involved in the clinical setting and possible dosage differences between those administered and those encountered in actual NDE cases. All subjects in the study were also very experienced users of DMT and/or other psychedelic/entheogenic agents. Some speculators consider that if subjects without prior knowledge on the effects of DMT had been used during the experiment, it is possible more volunteers would have reported feeling as though they had experienced an NDE. Dr. Karl Jansen, a New Zealand-born renowned psychiatrist, has reproduced the effects of NDEs through the use of ketamine-an anasthetic drug, thus giving potential evidence of a biological cause of the experience. Critics have argued that neurobiological models often fail to explain NDEs that result from close brushes with death, where the brain does not actually suffer physical trauma or ischemia, such as a near-miss automobile accident. Such events may however have neurobiological effects caused by stress. Kinseher in 2006, the knowledge of the Sensory Autonomic System is applied in the NDE phenomenon. His theory states that the experience of looming death is an extremely strange paradox to a living organism - and therefore it will start the NDE: during the NDE, the individual becomes capable of "seeing" the brain performing a scan of the whole episodic memory (even prenatal experiences), in order to find a stored experience which is comparable to the input information of death. All these scanned and retrieved bits of information are permanently evaluated by the actual mind, as it is searching for a coping mechanism out of the potentially fatal situation. Kinseher feels this is the reason why a near-death experience is so unusua.The theory also states that out-of-body experiences, accompanied with NDEs, are an attempt by the brain to create a mental overview of the situation and the surrounding world. The brain then transforms the input from sense organs and stored experience (knowledge) into a dream-like idea about oneself and the surrounding area.Whether or not these experiences are hallucinatory, they do have a profound impact on the observer. Many psychologists not necessarily pursuing the paranormal, such as Susan Blackmore, have recognized this. These scientists are not trying to debunk the experience, but are instead searching for biological causes of NDEs.[ Kenneth Ring, quoted in Ketamine - Near Death and Near Birth Experiences Dr Karl Jansen]According to Engmann[Fortschr.Med.Nr.51-52/2008(150.Jg.)p.42-43 (German)], near-death experiences of people who are clinically dead are psychopathological symptoms caused by a severe malfunction of the brain resulting from the cessation of cerebral blood circulation. An important question is whether it is possible to “translate” the bloomy experiences of the reanimated survivors into psychopathologically basic phenomena, e.g. acoasms, central narrowing of the visual field, autoscopia, visual hallucinations, activation of limbic and memory structures according to Moody’s stages. The symptoms suppose a primary affliction of the occipital and temporal cortices under clinical death. This basis could be congruent with the thesis of pathoclisis – the inclination of special parts of the brain to be the first to be damaged in case of disease, lack of oxygen, or malnutrition – established eighty years ago by C. and O. Vogt.[ Vogt C, Vogt O: Erkrankungen der Großhirnrinde im Lichte der Topistik, Pathoklise und Pathoarchitektonik. Journal für Psychologie und Neurologie ; Bd. 28. Joh.- Ambr.- Barth- Verlag. Leipzig. 1922 (German)]According to that thesis, the basic phenomena should be similar in all patients with near- death experiences. But a crucial problem is to distinguish these basic psychopathological symptoms from the secondary mental associated experiences which may result from a reprocessing of the basic symptoms under the influence of the person’s cultural and religious views.Some research has suggested that unconscious patients can overhear conversations even if the hospital machines aren't registering any brain activity. Research conducted at Sheffield University led to a finding that the release of adrenaline caused by tissue damage during surgery may cause this.[39] Recent findings have also shown that people diagnosed in a "persistent vegetative state" can communicate through their thoughts, as detected by an fMRI.[ Owen, A. M., and Coleman, M. R. (2008). Detecting awareness in the vegetative state, Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1129:130-8. PMID 18591475.]

Scientific Theories Explaining NDEs

(1) Dying Brain Theory

PRO:

Because NDEs have many common core elements, this shows that they are not spiritual voyages outside of the body, but are a function of the dying brain. All brain’s cells die in the same way and that is why all NDEs have essential core elements which are the same. They are the result of Some neurotransmitters in the brain shutting down which creates lovely illusions. ( Dr.Susan Blackmore Ref-4)

CON:

Because NDEs have many common core elements, this suggests that they may be spiritual voyages outside of the body. Also, if the dying brain creates NDE illusions, what is the basic purpose for doing it? If our brains are only like a high-tech super computer-like lump of tissue material which produces our mind and personality, why does it bother to create such illusions only at the time of death? If everything, including the mind and our personality, are about to disintegrate, why would the brain produce a last wonderful Grand Finale vision? Even if NDE elements can be reduced to only a series of brain reactions, this does not negate the idea that NDEs are more than a brain thing. Please Read this article on the errors of the pseudo-skeptics of NDEs-you will enjoy it.

   

(2) Lack of Oxygen Theory

PRO:

Neurologist Ernst Rodin offers his theory cerebral anoxia as a possible cause of NDEs of the dying brain. Such anoxia produces a confusing dream-like state of delusions and hallucinations. (Susan Blackmore)

CON:

Cardiologist Dr. Michael Sabom(10,22) responded that the NDE involves a clear awareness and a more mystical content, and NDEs have also occurred in people without cerebral anoxia. Pim van Lommel led a study concerning NDEs during cardiac arrest. In their study all patients had a cardiac arrest, they were declared clinically dead, unconsciousness that was caused by insufficient blood supply to the brain, and the EEG had become flat. In patients cardiac arrest (ventricular fibrillation) is sometimes induced for testing internal defibrillators. In these patients the EEG becomes usually flat within 10-15 seconds from the onset of syncope due to the (reversible) total loss of function of the brain. According to the physiologic theory, all patients in their study should have had NDE, but only 18% reported NDE.

(3) Right Temporal Lobe Theory

PRO:

Neurologist Dr. Michael Persinger argues that instability and activity in the brain's right temporal lobe is responsible for religious experiences of deep meaningfulness, early memories, and out-of-body experiences or quick reviewing of life acts. (see Temporal lobe theory page)

CON:

Dr. Melvin Morse agrees that the right temporal lobe shows NDE-like activity with Drugs like Ketamin, but he sees it as the mediating bridge for a spiritual experience, not reduction statistically as nothing but brain activity (Morse, 1992). Also, the characteristic emotions that result from temporal lobe stimulation are fear, sadness, and loneliness, not the calm and love of a NDE. While scientists may be discovering a mechanism associated with NDEs, this does not mean NDEs are strictly produced by this mechanism. A mechanical function associated with NDEs does not negate the idea that NDEs might be more than a mechanical function.

   

(4) Cortical Dis inhibition Theory

PRO:

Susan Blackmore interprets the tunnel and the light as an optical illusion can be also created by the effects of anoxia and drugs, creating cortical dis inhibition, with the effect of random light spots radiating from the center of a dark internal visual field.

CON:

Dr. Michael Sabom tested and rejected this brain-only argument. While brain neurology is obviously a part of NDEs, he says, it is not a sufficient explanation because of the verified or veridical aspects found in some NDEs. This aspect suggests the possibility that consciousness can exist outside of the body in dimensions less form. Does Quark, Neutrinos fermions particles has dimensions? {Ref 10,22].

(5) Hallucination Theory

PRO:

The psychiatrist Dr. Ronald Siegel interprets NDEs and similar imaginative visions of the afterlife as hallucinations, similar to the effects of psychedelic drugs like LSD or anaesthesia. (Hallucination Theory support)

CON:

Psychologist John Gibbs states, "NDE accounts from varied times and cultures were found to be more orderly, logical, defined and predictable than comparable accounts from drug or illness-induced hallucination. Impressive data from Tart, Moody and Carl Becker also argue for the objective elements of a NDE, including returning with knowledge later verified and third-party observations of odd death-bed phenomena (such as luminosity or apparitions). Peter Fenwick, a neuropsychiatrist, notes that drug induced hallucinations take place while the subject is conscious and living. During a NDE the subject is unconscious and near death. While in the state of unconsciousness, the brain cannot create images. Even if they did, the subject must not be able to remember them later. NDEs involve clear, lucid memories. Also, drug induced hallucinations distort reality while NDEs have been described as "hyper-reality."

(7) Memory of Birth Theory

PRO:

Otto Rank proposed that the birth trauma is behind all neuroses, for all anxiety-producing experiences of separation reactivate the separation from the mother at birth (Brown, 52-53). This theory has been modified to explain the NDE. The Great Astrobiologist cosmologist Prof Carl Sagan FRS &NL proposed that the tunnel and light are a reliving of the infant's descent down the birth canal (Sagan, 353-68). (see Memory of birth page) People wants to return back and curl in uterus at time of death

CON:

Carl Becker asserts that the infant descending the birth canal has its eyes closed and its brain too undeveloped to allow memories of birth (Becker, 1982). Similarly, Susan Blackmore showed that people Who were born by caesarean sections have the tunnel experience and OBEs in equal proportion to those born naturally (Blackmore, 1983). Also, birth is often an unpleasant experience for babies. In contrast, NDEs are often described as extremely pleasurable.

Endorphins Theory Endocrinologists theory

PRO:

The brain's naturally produced narcotics, such as the endorphins, have been offered by endocrinologist Daniel Carr to explain why, at the very moment when the body's death would be expected to bring incredible pain and terror, the NDE surprises us with pleasure, calm, and peace.

CON:

Dr. Melvin Morse responds that patients receiving prescribed narcotics similar to the endorphins experienced no NDEs (Morse, 1989).

Consciousness Survives Bodily Death Theory

PRO:

There exists strong circumstantial evidence that consciousness can survive bodily death. While this evidence does not constitute scientific evidence it does make survival after bodily death a possibility that can be upheld in a court of law. The evidence for survival can be found in science, philosophy, history, metaphysics, religion, and anecdotal testimony. Quantum physics makes some scientific theories of the NDE outmoded while supporting elements of NDEs. Scientific studies support the possible validity of NDEs elements such as being out of the body, the retention of mental images during brain death, veridical experiences of autoscopic events, the ability to accurately foresee the future, receiving information that leads to new scientific discoveries, people born blind being able to see, groups of people sharing a single experience, unbiased children having similar experiences as adults, causing experiencers to be drastically changed and convinced of survival after death, skeptics. The following is a list of the evidence supporting NDEs as the survival of consciousness. the evidence supporting the objectivity of NDEs, and the affirmation of ancient religious concepts found around the world. Some of the skeptical arguments against the survival theory are often not valid and the burden of proof against survival has shifted to the 

(a)

Quantum physics makes some scientific theories of the NDE outmoded.

New developments in quantum physics shows that we cannot know phenomena apart from the observer. Arlice Davenport challenges the hallucination theory of NDEs as outmoded because the field theories of physics now suggest new paradigm options available to explain NDEs. Mark Woodhouse argued that the traditional materialism/dualism battle over NDEs may be solved by Einstein’s theory of light and energ. Since matter is now seen as a form of energy, an energy body alternative to the material body could explain the NDE. This is supported by Melvin Morse who describes how NDEs are able to realign the charges in the electromagnetic field of the human body so that somehow the brain's wiring is renewed. He reports on patients who have NDEs and who recover from such diseases as pneumonia, cardiac arrest, and cancer (1992, 153-54). Perhaps the brain is like a kind of receiver (such as a television, radio, or cell phone). What is received (i.e., signals, music, voice) is not produced by the receiver, but exists separately as electromagnetic waves that are processed by the receiver to make them visible or audible to the senses.

(b)

Quantum physics support elements found in NDEs.

Similarities can be found between elements of NDEs and in quantum field concepts of non-locality, universal interconnectedness, a non-material dimension without our time-space relationship, and in the concept of subjectivity. All events are related and influence each other instantaneously and in reciprocity, and only subjectivity remains.

(c)

Scientific studies support the out-of-body aspect of NDEs.

Pim van Lommel led a study concerning the NDEs of research subjects who had cardiac arrest. The findings of the study suggests that research subjects can experience consciousness, with self-identity, cognitive function and memories, including the possibility of per in his study one subject Packer had a myocardial infarction while riding a polo pony. A nearby ambulance crew resuscitated him. Packer reported his experience with the telling comment: “Mate, I tell you there is nothing there”. He was obviously not keen to repeat the experience and promptly equipped the New South Wales ambulance service with defibrillators[36].

Science could not ultimately explain to me why some people have near-death experiences why others do not. That's not to say that current scientific explanations are incorrect, but NDEs are so much complex, subjective and emotionally charged. Further, many aspects of NDEs cannot be also tested. We can't run a test to determine if someone whether actually he/she visited Heaven or kingdom of death and met God or purposely take someone to the brink of death and then resuscitate them in a lab to test their out-of-body perception

Is there Soul & do you believe it?

Science and medicine seek naturalistic accounts of the observable natural world. This stance is known as methodological naturalism. Much of the scientific study relating to the soul has involved investigating the soul as an object of human belief, or as a concept that shapes cognition and an understanding of this world rather than as an entity in and of itself. For much of history, death was often a surprisingly extended process of illusion of time. During this process, the central entity was not the body, but the soul. At the same time, the soul itself could often behave rather like a body. It was a physical thing, which in part obeyed physical laws.)There may be two fundamental religious beliefs. One: the soul is an entity, and is potentially

vulnerable in the way that other material entities are. Two: the soul does not necessarily leave the body at the moment that modern science would judge to be that of medical death. In the period before they converted to Christianity, some Roman scientists accepted a kind of spiritual recycling by way of afterlife. When modern scientists speak of the soul outside of this cultural and psychological context, they generally treat soul as a poetic synonym for mind. One of Great scientist and Nobel Laureate in Medicine  Francis Crick's book, The Astonishing Hypothesis, for example, has the subtitle, "The scientific search for the soul". Crick held the position that one can learn everything knowable about the human soul by studying the workings of the human brain. Depending on one's belief regarding the relationship between the soul and the mind, then, the findings of neuroscience may be relevant to one's understanding of the soul. Skeptic, Robert T. Carroll suggests that the concept of a non-substantial substance is an oxymoron, and that the scholarship done by philosophers and psychologists based on the assumption of a non-physical entity has not furthered scientific understanding of the working of the mind. Daniel Dennett had championed the idea that the human survival strategy depends heavily on adoption of the intentional stance, a behavioral strategy that predicts the actions of others based on the expectation that they have a mind like one's own ( theory of mind). Mirror neurons in brain regions such as Broca's area may facilitate this behavioral strategy. The intentional stance, Dennett suggests, had proven so successful that people tend to apply it to all aspects of human experience, thus leading to animism and to other conceptualizations of soul. In 1907, the US physician Dr Duncan MacDougall made weight measurements of patients as they died. He claimed and registered that there was consistent weight loss of varying amounts at the time of death precisely 21 grams. MacDougall asserted a universally standard

measure for all souls, good or bad, young or old. What the body would lose if he would measure three days after the death, when purifications would start and the soul would himself confirmed the death? His results have never been reproduced, and are generally regarded either as meaningless or considered to have had little if any scientific merit .Nevertheless, medical science offers compelling evidence that many aspects of NDEs are physiological and psychological in nature. Scientists have found that drugs like ketamine and PCP can create sensations in users that are nearly identical to many NDEs. LSD,psilocarpine, and mescaline. These induced experiences can consist of unconsciousness, out-of-body experiences, and perception of light or flashes of recollection from the past. These recollections, however, consist of fragmented and random memories unlike the panoramic life-review that can occur in NDE. Further,transformational processes with changing life-insight and disappearance of fear of death are rarely reported after induced experiences. Thus, induced experiences are not identical to NDE, and so, besides age, an unknown mechanism causes NDE by stimulation of neuro physiological and neuro humoral processes at a sub-cellular level in the brain in only a few cases during a critical situation such as clinical death. These processes might also determine whether the experience reaches consciousness and can be recollected . In fact, some users think they are actually dying while on the drug. The mechanism behind some of these strange experiences is in the way our brains process sensory information. What we see as "reality" around us is only the sum of all the sensory information our brain is receiving at any given moment. When you look at a computer screen, the light from the screen hits your retinas, and information is sent to the appropriate areas of the brain to interpret the light patterns into something meaningful -- in this case, the words you are currently reading. An even more complex system of nerves and muscle fibers allows your brain to know, where your body is in relation to the space around it. Close your eyes and raise your right hand until it is level with the top of your head. How do you know where your hand is without looking at it? This sensory system allows you to know where your hand is even when your eyes are closed. Now imagine that all your senses are malfunctioning. Instead of real sensory input from the world around you, your brain is receiving all faulty information, possibly because of drugs, or some form of trauma that is causing your brain to shut down. What you perceive as a real experience is actually your brain trying to interpret this information. Some have theorized that "neural noise," or an overload of information sent to the brain's visual cortex, creates an image of a bright light that gradually grows larger . The brain may interpret this as moving down a dark tunnel. The body's spatial sense may prone to malfunctions during a near-death experience as well. Again, your brain interprets faulty information about where the body is in relation to the space around it. The result is the sensation of leaving the body and flying around the room. Combined with other effects of trauma and the peaceful, calm sensation felt during NDEs may be a coping mechanism triggered by increased levels of endorphins produced oxygen deprivation in the brain (a symptom in many near-death situations), this leads to the overall experience of floating into space Time , while looking down at your own body, and then leaving to float down a tunnel, in the brain during trauma. Many people experience a strange sense of detachment and a lack of emotional response during traumatic events (whether or not they were related to a near-death experience). This is the same effect. NDEs that include visits to Heaven or meetings with God could involve a combination of several factors. Faulty sensory input, oxygen deprivation and endorphin-induced euphoria may create a surreal, though realistic, experience. When the subject recalls the encounter later, it has passed through the filter of his conscious mind. Bizarre experiences that seem unexplainable become spirit beings, other dimensions and conversations with God. The experiences of people whose out-of-body adventures allow them to see and hear events that their unconscious body shouldn't be able to perceive are more difficult to explain. However, it is plausible that unconscious people can still register sensory clues and prior knowledge and incorporate them into their NDE. Out of Body Experience may probably be defined as sleep paralysis also , & it  happens while in dissociated rapid-eye-movement (REM) sleep state, that may be defined as sleep paralysis. Cheyne and his colleagues reported 17 such cases of autoscopic Out of Body experiences associated with “sleep paralysis” in Journal “the Lancet”, in which the individuals viewed themselves lying on the bed, generally from a location above the bed . However by use of positron emission tomography(PET] scanning of Brain, Maquet and colleagues noted a significant negative correlation between regional cerebral blood flow (rCBF) and REM sleep in a large area of the dorso-lateral, prefrontal cortex and the parietal cortex, temporal cortex, and a significant positive correlation between rCBF and REM sleep in limbic-system structures implicated in the formation and consolidation of memories. In dissociated REM sleep states, activation of such limbic structures during inhibition of the neo-cortex may lead to an one iric recollection of images concerning the individual's sleeping environment. Likewise, in near-death experiences, out-of-body visions, and possibly other phenomena, Such as passing through a dark tunnel , flashes of thousands Sun’s light, Godly structures, recollection from the past events, and even quick life reviews of one works in this planet, reported by many some patients of authors previous work, may represent a dis-inhibition of limbic system structures of brain due to hypoxic suppression of the neo-cortex, rather than any paranormal phenomena or any false memories. Paranormal phenomena such as ghosts, or hindu’s religious belief & events such as possible reincarnation in human form or other form as per his/her works may be explained through distortion over the ages of any near-death experiences. Bruno Bettelheim[35] drew people attention to the importance of myth, legend, and fairytales as a roadmap to overcoming adversity on the pathway to maturity. Near-death experiences may prove to be a fountain head for these devices and, as such, be central to spirituality rather than stemming from it. The other element that does not attract comment is the over whelming positive nature of the near-death experience. This postivity could represent the optimism for the presence of human spirit and soul, or may be it ensures that the experience is totally subjective one to recall and recounting. It may also underpin one of the most quoted biblical phrases from Psalm: “Yea, though I walk through the kingdom of the valley of death, I will fear no evil”.  However after an NDE, majority NDEers are however absolutely certain that there is” life after death” That is however good in one sense. One of many researchers and myself observed consequence: some NDE ers mourn less because they know that there is life after death

Spiritual viewpoints of Near Death Experiences

Some view the NDE as the precursor to an “afterlife experience”, claiming that the NDE cannot be completely explained by physiological or psychological neurologicaL causes, and that consciousness can function independently of brain activity.] Many NDE-accounts seem to include elements which, according to several theorists, can only be explained by an out-of-body consciousness. For example, in one account, a woman accurately described a surgical instrument she had not seen previously, as well as a conversation that occurred while she was under general anesthesia.[ Sabom, Michael. Light & Death: One Doctor's Fascinating Account of Near-Death Experiences. 1998. ] In another account, from a prospective Dutch NDE study [Buzzi, Giorgio. "Correspondence: Near-Death Experiences." Lancet. Vol. 359, Issue 9323 (June 15, 2002): 2116-21], a nurse removed the dentures of an unconscious heart attack victim, and She was asked by him after his recovery to return them. It might be difficult to explain in conventional terms how an unconscious patient could later have recognized the nurse. an Lommel P, van Wees R, Meyers V, Elfferich I. (2001) "Near-Death Experience in Survivors of Cardiac Arrest: A prospective Study in the Netherlands" in The Lancet, December 15; 358(9298):2039-45.Dr. Michael Sabom reports a case about a woman who underwent surgery for an aortic aneurysm. The woman reported an out-of-body experience that she claimed continued through a brief period of the absence of any EEG activity. If true, this would seem to challenge the belief held by many that consciousness is situated entirely within the brain Sabom, Michael.]A majority of individuals who experience an NDE see it as a verification of the existence of an afterlife.[ Kelly, 2001] This includes those with agnostic/atheist inclinations before the experience. There are examples of ex-atheists, such as the Reverend Howard Storm[46][47], adopting a more spiritual viewpoint after their NDEs. Howard Storm's NDE may also be characterized as a distressing near-death experience. The distressing aspects of some NDE's are discussed more closely by Greyson & Bush [.Greyson, Bruce & Bush, Nancy E. (1992) Distressing near-death experiences. Psychiatry, Feb;55(1):95-110.]Greyson claims that "No one physiological or psychological model by itself explains all the common features of NDE. The paradoxical occurrence of heightened, lucid awareness and logical thought processes during a period of impaired cerebral perfusion raises particular perplexing questions for our current understanding of consciousness and its relation to brain function. A clear sensorium and complex perceptual processes during a period of apparent clinical death challenge the concept that consciousness is localized exclusively in the brain."[ Greyson, B. (2001). Posttraumatic stress symptoms following near-death experiences. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 71, 368-373.]A few people feel that research on NDEs occurring in the blind can be interpreted to support an argument that consciousness survives bodily death. Dr. Kenneth Ring claims in the book "Mindsight: Near-Death and Out-of-Body Experiences in the Blind" that up to 80% of his sample studied reported some visual awareness during their NDE or out of body experience. Skeptics however question the accuracy of their visual awareness.[ American Psychiatric Association (1994) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition. Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Association (Code V62.89, Religious or Spiritual Problem]There are many religious and physiological views of near-death experiences. The NDE is often cited as evidence for the existence of the human soul, the afterlife, heaven and hell, ideas that appear in many religious traditions. On the other hand, skeptical commentators view NDEs as purely neurological and chemical phenomena occurring in the brain. From this perspective NDEs are the result of purely physiological and neurobiological mechanisms. The imagery in the experiences also varies within cultures.

The modern science has de-personified death, pulling back its cloak to discover a complex pattern of biological and physical processes that separate the living from the dead. But with the advent of these discoveries, in some ways, death has become more alien.Many of us imagine death will be like drifting to sleep. Your head gets heavy. Your eyes flutter and gently close. A final breath and then… lights out. It sounds perversely pleasant. Too bad it may not be that quick.Dr. Sam Parnia, the director of critical care and resuscitation research at NYU Langone Medical Center, researches death and has proposed that our consciousness sticks around while we die. This is due to brainwaves firing in the cerebral cortex — the conscious, thinking part of the brain — for roughly 20 seconds after ones clinical death.Studies on lab rats have shown their brains surge with activity in the moments after death, resulting in an aroused and hyper-alert state. If such states occur in humans, it may be evidence that the brain maintains a lucid consciousness during death's early stages. It may also explain how patients brought back from the brink can remember events that took place while they were technically dead."In the same way that a group of researchers might be studying the qualitative nature of the human experience of 'love,' for instance, we're trying to understand the exact features that people experience when they go through death, because we understand that this is going to reflect the universal experience we're all going to have when we die," .Recently at the Yale School of Medicine, researchers received 32 dead pig brains from a nearby slaughterhouse. No, it wasn't some Mafia-style intimidation tactic. They'd placed the order in the hopes of giving the brains a physiological resurrection.The researchers connected the brains to an artificial perfusion system called BrainEx. It pumped a solution through them that mimicked blood flow, bringing oxygen and nutrients to the inert tissues.This system revitalized the brains and kept some of their cells "alive" for as long as 36 hours postmortem. The cells consumed and metabolized sugars. The brains' immune systems even kicked back in. And some samples were even able to carry electrical signals.Because the researchers weren't aiming for Animal Farm with Zombies, they included chemicals in the solution that prevented neural activity representative of consciousness from taking place.Their actual goal was to design a technology that will help us study the brain and its cellular functions longer and more thoroughly. With it, we may be able to develop new treatments for brain injuries and neurodegenerative condition

Is there life after death?

There is life after death. No, science hasn't discovered proof of an afterlife yet or how much the soul weighs. But our genes keep going on after our demise.A study published in the Royal Society's Open Biology looked at gene expression in dead mice and zebrafish. The researchers were unsure if gene expression diminished gradually or stopped altogether. What they found surprised them. Over a thousand genes became more active after death. In some cases, these spiked expressions lasted for up to four days."We didn't anticipate that," Peter Noble, study author and microbiology professor at the University of Washington, told Newsweek. "Can you imagine, 24 hours after [time of death] you take a sample and the transcripts of the genes are actually increasing in abundance? That was a big surprise for science."Gene expression was shown for stress and immunity responses but also developmental genes. Noble and his co-authors suggest this shows that the body undergoes a "step-wise shutdown," meaning vertebrates die gradually and not all at once."You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and none is destroyed. You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got."

Near death experience Near-death experiences come in a variety of styles as I told earlier. Some people float above their bodies. Some go to a supernatural realm and meet passed-on relatives. Others enjoy the classic dark-tunnel-bright-light scenario. One thing they all have in common: We don't know what's going on after death.A study published in Neurology suggests near-death experiences stem from a type of sleep-wake state. It compared survivors who had near-death experiences with those who did not. The researchers found that people with near-death experiences were more likely to also undergo REM intrusions, states in which sleep intrudes upon wakeful consciousness."People who have near-death experiences may have an arousal system that predisposes them to REM intrusion," Kevin Nelson, professor at the University of Kentucky and the study's lead author, told the BBC.It's worth noting that the study does have its limitations. Only 55 participants were interviewed in each group, and the results relied on anecdotal evidence. These highlight key difficulties in studying near-death experiences. Such experiences are rare and cannot be induced in a controlled setting. (Such a proposal would be a huge red flag for any ethics board.)The result is sparse data open to a lot of interpretation, but it is unlikely that the human soul enjoys a postmortem romp. One experiment installed pictures on high shelves in 1,000 hospital rooms. These images would only be visible to people whose souls departed the body and returned.No cardiac arrest survivor reported seeing the images. Then again, if they did manage to sever their fleshy fetters, they may have had more pressing matters to attend to

Animals mourn after death? Animals may mourn the dead too We're still not sure, but eye witness accounts suggest the answer may be yes.Field researchers have witnessed elephants staying with the dead — even if the deceased is not from the same family herd. This observation led the researchers to conclude the elephants had a "generalized response" to death. Dolphins too have been seen guarding deceased members of their species. And chimpanzees maintain social routines with the dead, such as grooming.No other species has been observed performing human-like memorial rituals, which requires abstract thought, but these events suggest animals possess a unique understanding of and response to death.

 Walking corpse syndrome-: For most of us, the line between life and death is stark. We are alive; therefore, we are not dead. It's a notion many take for granted, and we should be thankful. we can manage it so effortlessly.People afflicted with Cotard's syndrome don't see the divide so cleanly. This rare condition was first described by Dr. Jules Cotard in 1882 and describes people who believe they are dead, missing body parts, or have lost their soul. This nihilistic delusion manifests in a prevailing sense of hopelessness, neglect of health, and difficulty dealing with external reality.In one case, a 53-year-old Filipino woman with Cotard's syndrome believed herself to smell like rotting fish and wished to be brought to the morgue so she could be with her kind. Thankfully, a regimen of antipsychotics and antidepressants improved her condition. Others with this debilitating mental disorder have also been known to improve with proper treatment. Do hair and fingernails grow after death? Nope. This is a myth, but one that does have a biological origin.The reason hair and fingernails don't grow after death is because new cells can't be produced. Glucose fuels cell division, and cells require oxygen to break down glucose into cellular energy. Death puts an end to the body's ability to intake either one.It also ends the intake of water, leading to dehydration. As a corpse's skin desiccates, it pulls away from the fingernails (making them look longer) and retracts around the face (giving a dead man's chin a five-o'clock shadow). Anyone unlucky enough to exhume a corpse could easily mistake these changes as signs of growth.Interestingly, postmortem hair and fingernail growth provoked lore about vampires and other creatures of the night. When our ancestors dug up fresh corpses and found hair growth and blood spots around mouths (the result of natural blood pooling), their minds naturally wandered to undeath.

Why we die?

People who live to be 110 years old, called super-centenarians, are a rare breed. Those who live to be 120 rarer still. The longest-living human on record was Jeanne Calment, a Frenchwoman who lived an astounding 132 years.But why do we die in the first place? Setting spiritual and existential responses aside, the simple answer is that nature is done with us after a certain point.Success in life, evolutionarily speaking, is passing on one's genes to offspring. As such, most species die soon after their fecund days end. Salmon die soon after making their upriver trek to fertilize their eggs. For them, reproduction is a one-way trip.Humans are a bit different. We invest heavily in our young, so we require a longer lifespan to continue parental care. But human lives outpace their fecundity by many years. This extended lifespan allows us to invest time, care, and resources in grandchildren (who share our genes). This is known as the grandmother effect.But if grandparents are so useful, why is cap set at 100-some-odd years? Because our evolution did not invest in longevity beyond that. Nerve cells do not replicate, brains shrink, hearts weaken, and we die. If evolution needed us to hang around longer, maybe these kill switches would have been weeded out, but evolution as we know it requires death to promote adaptive life.At this age, however, it is likely that our children may be entering their grandparent years themselves, and our genes will continue to be cared for in subsequent generations.

                     

Chapter 4

              

 High School and college ages-1970’s-1987s

“ The wintry haw is burning out of season,

crab of the thorn, a small light for small people,wanting no more from them but that they keep the wick of self-respect from dying out,not having to blind them with illumination.But sometimes when your breath plumes in the frost it takes the roaming shape of Diogenes With his lantern, seeking one just man;

so you end up scrutinized from behind the haw he holds up at eye-level on its twig,

and you flinch before its bonded pith and stone,its blood-prick that you wish would test and clear you,its pecked-at ripeness that scans you, then moves on…..”

 by Seamus Heaney Nobel Laureate in Literature-1995 From "The Haw Lantern", 1987

4 Satya could now memorize his high school times. He then for the first time did come in close association with few people involved with active West Bengal state level politics In India, in late 1960s and early 1970s. Those politics in West Bengal province of India was left politics, later was famous as “The Naxalite Revolutionary movement”. The Naxalite movement was then lead by a very thin built,always armed and lean person with high power glasses in both his brilliant eyes, with a sharp tipped nose and shrunken chins and cheeks “late Mr. Charu Majumadar” of Naxal Bari, at Siliguri District of North Bengal. He was however later murdered and assassinated by the state power within the jail & police custody of Lalbazar kolkata by the congress ministry led by late Mr. Ray. This was the most turmoil and disturbed time in the state of West Bengal; young, talented staff of higher schools, of colleges, of universities of the state, peasants, and farmers, refugees were dedicated force, followers, supporters and soldiers of the movement. They were trained with guerrilla fighting like Cuban or peruvian movement. One of them was Dipankar Da, one of them was his school mate and very close and intimate bosom friend Siddartha,(Sidhu) his friends in Bankim Palli & Purbapalli Bablu, Khokon, Biru, Deepak ,Netai, Bappa. Kalu,Uttam, Gora, Ujjal dada. One afternoon at school tiffin break, Siddhartha took him before a local leader and introduced him with a fatty, black complex (you can call him rather Pitch Black like Santal class people) french cut beard man with two sparking intelligent brownish pupils covered with high powered thick glasses. His eyes dazzled through his glass. His sharp and tipped nose smelled like sniffer dogs. His brown black thick lips always stained with tobbaco had very tight facial expressions, his two dazzling eyes, his two large brown pupils sparked with dreams to change the local social economy, social norms, social laws & regulations, Social and racial discrimination; for development, for the have not classes, for those refugees living dogs life in tents and thatched or tally roofed houses, for the proletariats people and dreamt for a declass society in west Bengal like Fidel Castro, Hugo chavage of Bolivia or Gene sharp and Gaddafi( Gaddafi with his two sons was killed by CIA and its own country Eisrail revolutionary force in 2011] or the great doctor Chi –Guevara. Satya’s father, Bholababu also then working with their friends like Mr. Gopal Das, Chiita Majumdar Babu, Tinkari Babu, Narayan uncle, chitta Saha,parimal babu on same issues under the banner of local left Marxcist CPM party’s local red flag- they formed in communistic and Marxist idealism under state leadership of Mr. Dasgupta, Mr. Basu, Mr Ranadeva Mr. Choudhury Mr. Sen in Tripura. Siddhartha’s family was originally evicted from a riot in east Pakistan- now in Bangladesh. In Sodepur then a village prototype, they could however manage a low cultivator land [ near Badhano Pukur ] and constructed a Kwacha house (hut) made of bamboo fences walls and tally roof at Bankim Palli near Badhano pukur, where Satya’s father Bhola Babu, Gopal Das, Tinkari uncle worked and became an immortal name for their works in reference of Sodepur. The refugees named the refugee colony village 

as ‘ Bankim Palli”. Why such a name was their best choice, Satya does not know it yet. Evicted and migrated peoples from the east Pakistan, in Indo Bangladesh war or china- India war in 1960s & in 1970s-72s took their shelter at various places of north 24 Parganas and south 24 Parganas, like NetajiNagar of Tollygunge , Santosh pur, BaghaJatin areas of Jadavpur, along the railway tracks of lowlands of Agarpara, Sodepur, Natagarh, Ghola, Titagarh, Ranaghat, Kakinara, ShyamNagar, Bongow, Ashok Nagar, Habra Baruipur, Canning, Laksmikanta Pur. Some of them were sent at first to Andaman Nicobar Island and Dandakaranya of Madhyapradesh state of India by the newly elected state ruling CPM party. They tried to make the land habitable by their own sweat facing all hurdles and danger of jungles, dacoits, robbers and local man eaters. But the land in Dandakaranya was rocky, full of jungles poisonous snakes, cobras insects or non fertile for any kind of agriculture to grow, had scarcity for drinking water and mostly den of deadly & severe falciparum malaria, poisonous snakes, canine animals. Many aged and children died there from diarrhea and dreadly severe malaria or snake bites. The state rulers however wanted to settle those refugees at Dandakaranya. But many families somehow flew away on foot in the darkness of night and they somehow reached at Marichjhapi of South Sundarban area of south 24 prarganas and made the area habitat with their sweat. Many of the refugees occupied one of the islands in the forest . There was a confrontation with the local authorities that resulted violence. The local CPM party & government wanted to force the refugees to return them their resettlement camp in Dandakaranya, in central India. They were put in the tracks and buses and were taken away. For some people, their resistance to leave the place resulted violence with the government. In one night, the then government and CPM party with police and their cadare evicted those people with guns and setting fire in their thatched houses, some were killed under open fire bullet, some were drowned at Matla river , some were severely burned and many flew away at different places. You can have a nice and vivid description of Marichjhapi & the then people of Sundarban refugees from a Bengalee writer Amitava Ghose’s “ The Hungry Tides”. Siddartha[Sidhu’s] family was such an evicted flew away family to settle at Bankimpalli as refugees in 1970s . The India government however gave seven acar lands to refugees and at Andaman Nicobar island with local Government machineries they settled there- that was a separate story however of 1947s of division of Bengal to east and west Bengal.

An observer can not take account of any difference in the outlook. His or her business is to observe critically and to narrate “this is what it was” this is what happened, and when he knows that it actually did happen, and that it closely affected the life of population of the area and that there are hundreds of eye witnesses who can apprise in their hearts the only truth of what he writes and saw

 In case the narrator( whose identity will be made known in due course and now he is satya) would have little claim to competence for a task like this, he had not chance put him in way of gathering much information, and had not been by the force of things closely involved in all that he narrates here. He is here also playing the role of historian. Naturally an historian, even an amature ,always has data ,personal and or at second hand to guide him. The present narrator has three kinds of data

 First he saw himself and faced the situations, secondly the accounts of others eye witness and analysis of them and lastly the documents in his hand . 

At that time electricity was neither in most houses of Purbaplli village nor in Bankimpalli colony nor in Natagarh (except in few rich,upper middle class people’s houses of Purbapllli). Roads streets and lanes were dusty, kaccha muddy roads with many big or small pit holes and full of garbages here and there. Very countable rich people had a car of their own. In night, Satya, his brothers and Siddartha had to study under Lantern lamp light of kerosene oil and thin glass cover chimney. Kerosene was available in the ration system then. State government’s food department used to supply rice, wheat, sugar, dal, soap & kerosene through local ration dealers shops on weekly basis- A good system of distribution of food no doubt . In open market shops all these were costly- beyond affordable for low socioeconomic class. One such shop was Bisu uncle’s shop at Desbandhu Nagar. Sidhu had two rooms for nine members of family sparsely furnished. The only objects to catch the eyes were a book shelf on which lay two or three dictoneries, books on communism, few books of marxs from Soviet Russia, a small black board on which one can read two or three half oblitered words “ chittgang, East Pakistan” Satya liked Siddartha’s mom, a middle aged, average built very fair complexioned shiny skinned and little obese lady. Siddartha’s(Sidhu) dad had a small grocery shop, adjacent to their hut for sell of common grocery food items, people of newly built colony of refugees. His mom used to prepare herself various items for that grocery shop like Morroba of Bell, Moas, Achar, Papad and kept on rack of that shop in large size thick glass bottle of wide neck. Satya liked morroba, moas and naru sweets made by her own hand. Satya still remembers its test. Nothing in five stars hotel were comparable with that test. Siddartha(Sidhu) was murdered by state police forces in an encounter somewhere in central kolkata, in 1976 november- when Mr. Ray of congress party was chief minister of the West Bengal state and Satya was then a 2nd year MBBS student in The Medical college- Bengal, kolkata. He went to identify his corpse at the police morgue in C.R Avenue. The body was kept, waiting there for post mortem .Siddartha was lying on uncleaned floor, stiff, cold like ice blocks, completely naked, neglected, had two deep bullet holes at temporal bone of his skull, at chest, several bruise & blood stained marks all over his body- sign of police tourture. His both eyeballs seemed to be bulged outside. His eye lids were open. No one had the minimum courtesy to close it as respect to the dead. Bloody froth came out of his nostrils, dried. Was Siddartha [Sidhu] a revolutionist for a declass society in West Bengal? What he wanted at that teen age? Who shouldered him that responsibility for others? For, an Ism? For an idealism? Left or CPIML idealism? For doing other’s good and living well for others on the planet? He did not believe in a very simple law & fact “You can not do good to others. That no body in the universe shouldered you with that very responsibility. You have come alone for once and only for once, as a human life, which you have obtained through several forms of births as animal or other forms as per transduction and re- incarnation theory of atheists and will go away from this world one fine morning alone. Scientifically, your genome like ADIPOQ gene,CETP gene and the ApoC3 gene provided you at least 100 years or more to enjoy life on this planet, to act on this planet in spite of your ageing process. In West Bengal, the average life span is now 72 years and it was so obvious that you would live here for that period, unless there was an accident or incurable disease. Why for these revolutions? For Social services? Who cares about your active part in revolution and social services? He was in fact a foolish boy of teen. Otherwise why would he join in the revolution? Look at all top party leaders! They never die in bullets! Nor in police encounter! They enjoy their life. They enjoy Power! They involve themselves in corruption! In scams! Their followers, their cadres, common people dies only or are assassinated in the name of revolution. You don’t know what good is. You are thinking to do well, in terms of body- but body is false in the sense that you are not the body.” People’s memory is very short. Nobody would remember your sacrifice, your services for the state, for the - revolution and your futile attempt for good to others. History also did not remember him, neither his struggle for the family nor his love for the ism, nor for the state revolution. The loss was for him, for his existence in this earth in human and final form of carbon based DNA evolution in this planet , for his own family, for his parents, brothers and unmarried sisters. One must remember this before he/she joins any revolution or a worker for the opposite party. What gives you these politics ? Food? Free education? Free Health care when you and your family is ill ? Job? In a party, in a congress, your works actually becomes beneficiary for others one! Your life, your work should be valuable only before you and your parents, brothers and sister and family. Nobody else in this world. Not before the state, not before the country, nor before any one. One must be carrierstic , totally business minded from hair to toe nail and your time to be measured in terms of money only. That is the success of life. That should be mantra of your life. No one is indispensable on this planet for a country or a state. So your every work must be fully targeted for your family up lift, not for others good. Not for social upliftment. No body beside your family members will ask you whether you have taken a full meal twice. Nobody gives you anything without money besides abstracts? It is the materialism, rather should be meaning of dialectical materialism, market economy. Satya told all these, Siddartha three days before, he suddenly came to his hostel and asked for food and shared his hostel meal. He used to come occasionally very sudden, often unexpectedly, hungry as if he did not take meal for two or three days, used to share some meal in credit name of Satya, took rest for few hours in his bed and then suddenly vanished. He told him to look for a job whatever it might be, and to share his shoulder with his parents, rather to do good for others and to come up from poverty instead of doing Naxal party. That night they talked about Debjani too. As a storyteller, narrator, I had to tell his story. I had no other option to prevent the young people to join in any politics and political party. Don’t mind that I told this story to make you bored but to tell the end result of a revolution- in West Bengal , whose end was like Siddartha for many intelligent boy of university and colleges. The Naxalite CPIML revolution also became a dead body or corpse in early 1980s.The school and college boys must not join in any politics Why not the Honb Court judges gives such verdict to make such a law for all students in school, colleges, universities?law must be like this! There must not be any political student union in school, college university. It does not help in education process at all.

 The black complexioned young guy was Dipankarda. He used to visit often Sodepur Village, BankimPalli in refugee tents in those days of 1970s. He was then a master degree student of science at RazaBazar Science College with Radio Physics. He used to come Sodepur with ArunavaDa , Kanchan Da and ChandanDa (another three young bright scholars of same Science college) and SamirDa ( a student of Marine engineering of BE college Sibpur, Howrah). Both DipankarDa and ArunavaDa was ex Presidencies and were very bright and promising student of University of Calcutta and Satya learned many things from them and ArunavaDa and ChandanDa was a tutor for Satya’s next brothers “Tito” and “Pinto” with request of Bholababu at nominal tuition fees. Satya red “Das Capial” in three volumes” from his father’s suitcase. In that age, he red “Red books of China’s” Mao_Je_Dung’s revolution- a book was then banned by the central government declared emergency. Satya’s father was then in front line of local branch of the Communist CPM party. He was popularly known as “Bhola Babu” in his locality and party congress office of Purbapalli union samity. Satya from his boyhood saw his father in organizing the national front of local CPM party (left party) with local refugee families at his locality and a movement to distribute land through municipal government. {at that time in 1970s, it was congress government with Mr. Sen and then Mr. Ray were in chair of CM and Left Front party came in ruling power of Writer’s building in year 1977 18th May led by Mr. Basu as CM] to those vagabonds and living in Tipple made tents. Landowner was mainly Mr. Brazen Sammadar of Purbapalli and his brothers and sisters. They owned a cotton spin mill also at “Natagarh area” within their close relative brothers. Bhola Babu was a popular figure and personality in Bankim Palli set up for his wisdom, wide knowledge about communism, judgments and the party’s organizational matter. After returning back from his office, in Kolkata, in almost all evenings a year, he used to take his very old bicycle, he once purchased for his entire family and returned home at 10 PM or often 11PM at night. Satya’s mother and all members had to wait long till he returned back home for his dinner and sleep and that was the time when his family members had time to discuss any problems related with his own family, or he would get chances to ask his children about their progress in study in kerosene oil lantern flame light. Many times, local people of BankimPalli colony used to come at Satya’s house with their day to day problems even to solve a quarrel between husband and wife, neighbours Vs neighbours. They talked about their problems, about their sufferings about their forcely occupied illegal land, where they constructed their thatched hut. They used to come when some one in their family fell ill and required hospitalization or some one died and to take Panihati crematorium smasan. Many colony people then died of Vibreo –O- Cholera and shigella Gastroenteritis and plague. Almost every week in night satya heard some people’s slogan carrying a dead person on four persons shoulder “ Balo Hari Hari Bolo- jorse bolo- Jordar Balo Balo Hari hari Bolo”- a horror slogan in several loud voice in night darkness and silence, when a dead person's body is carried to smasan and he was really afraid of listening it. However he Knew who was dead and Bholababu often accompanied. Sometimes they used to talk of people of Russia, Chechenia, China, in Cuba, in Peru In Bolivia in Andaman also. Satya heard some names there Carl Marx, Ho-chi-ming, Che- Guevara, Fidel Castro , Gene Sharp and few important Bengalese names of party line com. Promod Dasgupta; Joti Babu, Com. Lakshmi Babu , Com Ambarish Com.B.T Ranadev; Com Sur; Com. Binay Chaudhury; Com. Ram Chaudhury Com.Achutanandya, Com. Nripen Babu and very words “ In club” and “Comrade '', whose real meaning at that time he did not understand and could not digest. These people used the term “comrade” before calling one’s. Everyone was honored with comrade except one name Joti Babu! He was only nomenclatured as Babu in spite of party’s CM in West Bengal and important Politburo member of Party and so far in regimented marxism there is no place 

of Babus. Comrade and Babu simultaneously- strange! He could not understand what those people used to talk about, why do they suffer, why they give slogans, why they always carry “Red flags with impregnated pictures of cristle, a star and a hammer there”. What was the meaning of such a symbol? It was symbol of May Day? Did that symbol and any style had anything special to Satya? Satya heard about a book” Red book’. The book was then banned, by the state congress government for the style of content? Was style of a book such a dangerous for a state government? It was a book by Den-J Mao-SI Tung. The Red book was the bible for the revolutionist CPIML and CPIM.” China’s Communist party Chairman is ours Chairman” and “China’s Path is our path for the impending revolution” was their slogan. These People used to write on wall, on trees, on posters of newspapers as their slogan. Did these slogans had any meaning or a style before the illiterate refugees, before the poor proletariat and illiterate people? Did them red “Red Book and Das Capital?” “Red Book was in Satya’s father’s suitcase-one day, he discovered. At that time, congress government ordered to arrest and to put in police custody with whom “Red Book” would be seen or found. Satya tried to read it stealthily “Das Capital and Red Book”. These books were really toughest one to satya to dig. One afternoon Statya heard “ Bhombol- a dedicated CPM party worker with his congenital one hand was brutally murdered by knife for such slogans by some unknown persons” His intestine, liver, spleen was lacerated. He lived at Natagarh colony. He was terror for middle class, upper class people. Many CPM, CPI party workers rushed there with the news to see his cropse lying on a field. This was first political murder by knife at natagarh area heard by satya in his childhood. Siddartha, Biru, Uttam, kalu, Debasis, Deepak, Bablu and many opined that Bhombol lost his idealism and guide line of comminist party & involved himself with local buesness men for supplying building materials and that murder was for quarrel with profit money. His thatched house became gradually one storied colorful pakka brick built house. He turned towards Burzoa class. But his middle aged beautifull looking , with full of her voluptious youth east Pakistani “wife” gradually turned into cook servant within few years in upper class family of Amarabati and H B Town areas and she posseed deicious sex food with her women flesh of early thirtees for upper class people, where she took her job as cooker and finally a prositute. Presently at Natagarh area, there is public library in his memory, as first “Sahid” with a sign board hanging “ Bhombol Pathagar”. What a good return of a sahid by the party! No one knew what happened to his wife and daughters later. The present party did not remember, neither the history remembered him. Satya did never understand why his father Bholababu also spends his valuable time for such organizational works of left party and in organizational matters, instead of economical development of his self family, when his family remained constantly in line of poverty, with his mere governmental salary as a clerk, too insufficient for members of eleven, when his wife did never have a good cotton sari and had full meal twice a day with her children and when he had not capacity for admission of his children in English medium reputed schools of Kolkata for education and choice free government schools in Purbapalli club house ? What gave this party to Bholabau in his last days of living? Nothing! - A local respect and recognition as worker only? Did it help him much in his old days from his sufferings? No? No one kept any news how the old of oldest man led his last life confined in his house,as a blind man, without his wife. But even in his last time election, he ordered his family members to cast a poll in favor of CPM party - he used to do it in every election and he always hurried his family members to the election booth as early as possible, preferably before 9 GMT hours in favor of left. But one question not answered before Satya and many “why do people will cast their vote with loss of their own time and own energy for benefit of a corrupted candidate-[mostly all politicians of the country in India and in state today are highly corrupted personals] as member of the Parliament or Assembly- doing good for other without any money for their labor and time? It is democracy? Why there should not be option “I do not like any candidates selected” or “I don’t want to cast my vote or NOTA ” Satya asked Bholababu once and he was first annoyed with such a question and then answered “ you had been too selfish Satya. You are at best wasting one or two hours in five years time for the democracy to cast your vote, to stand in que in sunlight, to select a government! It is for the name of largest democracy in world / to select a government-.” And if you don’t like to help a candidate of a party, or don’t feel it is your duty or right , then Don’t go- how many percent of people cast their vote in West Bengal? Polling rate is 86% in villages and rural areas and 60% in kolkata towns and city- The middle class group 40% do not go to polling booths to lose even that energy in Que. They enjoy that day just as a holiday. And from 2010 Satya confirmly decided not to cast further his vote right in favor of any candidate in any election in the name of largest democracy. Why he will help another unknown person to place him to parliament or in assembly and to be more corrupted, powerful, make money at cost of his vote, his time, his energy {Politician in the country India as well in state of West Bengal of every political party are all hundred percent corrupted and whom he does not like. It became only possible because his father died in 2009 and there was no order over the telephone to go to booth to cast his voting right. 

Amongst Satya’s father’s local friends, Satya liked, but surely not loved, one tall man with gigantic structure and physique( had he pituitary adenoma? ). He was more than six feet with a large lower mandible, high arched palate, two big protruding eyeballs and wide opened eyes and two long legs. He was Mr. Gopal Das, unmarried.[probably no women could have consider the man as her husband or her lover, because of his commanding rough voice high up intellect, and because he did not know faltering women or appreciate their beauty - Debjani had also same idea about him ] Mr. Das was a very serious Type A personality, mostly listener, little spoken by himself. His voice was heavy rough (at sharp D scale octave), course, a tough and often in commanding tone. He used to say “what have you done seriously with the problem?’ What is the out come of your action”? or “why you could not do that?” or’ define the problems in chronological numbers –one—two—three…” Satya never came across such a rough and tough but dedicated, honest and pure by his heart. He was like a dictator in that organization—a king maker. Mr. Das had however formal education probably not more than school final level education. He was a grass root worker, obeyed by every seniors,juniors one in Bankim Palli,Purbapalli even in ***Amarabati- one of poss area in sodepur. He started first a co-operative shop for people of Bankim Palli and Purbaplli at reasonable prices, was decided at a party meeting. He was the father of the Co-operative system concept in sodepur. His earnings were from that shop and he shared the dividend of his profit to its members. This co-operative in almost previous and original shape still persist

 Satya started to like Mr. Gopal Das for some unknown reasons. The growing up boys and girls, and many middle class women of Purbapalli used to keep a wide distance and walked away from him, when they suddenly faced him on road, for his rough voice and rough and. One possibility was Siddartha and Debasis and Bablu. He came out finally an adorned teacher about communism and Marxism for Satya . He also probably wanted a disciple, truthful, loyal to him, to his organization, to his party, who has much study on the subject and has power of analysis. Satya sometimes became a silent invitee in those meetings as apprentices with time. Satya red “Das Capital- First volume” from his father’s book shelf. It was a very hard book for Satya to assimilate at that age. He could not understand many syllables, many lines, many paragraphs, or many chapters of that very book. It was a very famous book of higher economics full of difficult sentences, syllables, languages, mathematics, equations. In those days so many paragraphs, so many lines of Das capital Marxism remained unexplained to him, beyond his capability, beyond his understanding, beyond his intellect.

 The six feet tall man tried to explain those toughest things in so simple ways in Satya’s mothers tongue languages with Chittagang of East Pakistan accent of voice, with example from his surroundings, from daily life of neighborhoods of Bankimpalli, Purbapalli villages. One thing he never tolerated, if you question his explanation further. You have to take it granted that he was final. No further explanation and that is your loyalty to communism and to him. He was a detector in fact.

As a high school first boy in his class, Satya loved John Keats's ode "To Autumn" for being an ark of the covenant between its language and sensation; as an growing adolescent, he loved Gerard Manley Hopkins for the intensity of his exclamations which were also equations for a rapture and poverty and an ache he didn't fully know and he knew until he read it. He loved Robert Frost for his farmer's accuracy and his wily down-to-earthiness’; and Chaucer too for much the same reasons from his school library.

Gradually Satya became a regular visitor cum assistant of those gathering congress. Some times his father called him in those meetings saying “like to Go?” Satya’s mother disliked that his son mixes with those political peoples, at that age of thirteen or fourteen, and wastes his valuable time, instead of his daily school homework. Satya always ranked himself as first boy , amongst his school friends beginning from class one and he was then class seven/eight standard. Her only son used to always stand first in the class room of a free government school. Satya would then sit on the back seat of his bicycle, when his father paddled in the nightfall darkness on uneven, kwacha, muddy roads to reach any hut in the refugees’ tents of Bankim Palli, where a meeting was scheduled to be held. There were no electricity lamp posts and electricity overhead lines on roads of Bankim Palli and most part of Purbapalli. Purbapalli was then a village. Electricity came only then in a few houses of the upper and rich class of Purbaplli in ward no 17 ward No-20, or on Sodepur Rail station Road. Only kerosene oil lamps or lanterns or Hazak lights on some occasions. Bhola Babu used to paddle his cycle slowly and very cautiously. They kept three cell battery torches in the rainy seasons for the snakes. In the rainy days, as night deepened, air filled with cry of toads, chirring of various[ jhijhi mostly] insects, poisonous and non poisonous snakes, scorpions took upper hands and some people used to catch frogs from the locked water and ponds with Hazak light and gum boots in their legs up to knee. They used to transport these frogs outside India. Each frog costs then 10- 25 Paisa for them depending on size and species type. It was a means of earning for some few people. They used to come from Natagarjh areas. Water might be locked for months of two or three, some times four, in all rainy seasons around their houses, entrance gate and surrounding their houses till 1980s, as and when the near by ponds over flooded and in 1980s his father attempted to put mud and soils in the very low lands [ around five Kathas and four chhatak land] around their one storied house. Fishes and snakes from pond came up often, with flooded pond’s water and they also swim in the locked water around their houses and Satya his brother used to catch those fishes with chiip and Barshi through grills of windows. Most of time they successes fishing[ kai , sole , magur , puti, Khalse fish- the local name was like]. And if they would success in catching a good number of such fishes, then that day there was a kind of picnic day in kitchen of house. In springtime, before Durga puja festival, water logging in front side yard was cleared and dry land appeared green grasses appeared and it made the land more and more fertile for various vegetables and flowers. Bholababu with his children for long years and every years did agriculture many such vegetables, by his own labour for the family and it would not only saved much money, for daily marketing various vegetables and fruits but also a means a short of exercise for Bholababu and his children to keep them most fit and out of obesity. Bholababu and Satya had special predilections and love for Rajani Gandha flowers, jasmine, yellow lender flowers and he marketed their seeds from market . From October to May of years sweet scents of these flowers were in air around the house. It was however another way to pass their children times, playing times. Satya and his brothers made their own aquarium in wide neck glass bottles and collected various types of small khalse, morolla and various fishes. There was a kind of competition amongst brothers, how good and colored fishes were inn their individual aquarium. There was another competition amongst Satya’s brothers and friends. Collection of old stamps and Satya had good collections. Pinto used passing his time on writing detective novels in that age and he played various acting roles in Road theatre in stages and he had stammering then He started a small club with childrens of Bankimpalli of his age or bellow and every year they celebrated Swaraswatipuja and Kalipuja and staging a street drama of his writing at near by Purbapalli khelar math. He was sharp in mathematics and algebra- the gene he had from Bhloababu.

 Up to 2006, almost 26 years later, when Satya first entered his paternal house at purbapalli, Sodepur, the surroundings, remained as it was, as he left in a sunny morning of 1988, - rather worst, exposing all her ribs and cages of Bankim Palli village. The same, uneven, muddy, Kaccha roads with large pitholess, songs of mosquitoes and insects in evening and nights, water logging in rainy time, very poor or all most collapsed municipal drainage system , very poor flow drinking water supply from the Panihati municipality,almost collapsed tube well , no electric lamp post in spite that CPM Government came in power of Writers Buildings, ruled West Bengal since 1977, and ministerial manifesto claims for development of villages in living standard of people and that Bhola Babu still then living but confined in his own bed from his complete blindness, fractured & prostheses hips, neglected by his married sons, in spite his old time, party comrade friends for whom Bholababu walked carrying party’s red flag, gave all slogans, and spent time on street gathering and campaign for Mr Gopal Bhattacharya MLA during Assembly election procedure, elected several occasions as Member of Legislative Assembly of the state, in spite Panihati Municipal Board always formed by CPM party and in spite Bholababu in every election orders his family members to caste their poll in favor of left front party. So it was curious and ridiculous. So high development form a party for the proletariat? Whatever changes happened so far, it was for the passing time and self effort of individual families in Bankim palli and promoters. Promoters raised flat at Purbapalli, Amarabati, HB town, and school roads. The roads became much narrower  

Satya gradually was given the task of writing poster on old news paper of “Bangadarpan” or GanaShakti or Amrita bazaar or Anandabazar Patrika. Anandabazar was considered by left minded people as Burzoa class paper financed, advertised and supported by the ruling congress government then. He used to draw various classified slogans as directed with red color ink often with Alta. Many such slogans ended with words “ In-club ; Jindabad, Long Live CPM” etc. What Satya then realized that human society in their village locality, could be broadly divided in two major classes “ “Have’s class” and “Haves not’s” besides various cast divisions like Brahmin, Kayasthas, Nama sudra, Sudras, Baisya. Satya belonged to upper Brahmin class. It was most privileged class once in Indian history. Division of people on basis of caste feeling was also very high amongst the illiterate people, who came as refugees as migrants and settled and for whom Bholababu, Gopal Das fought and established the CPM party office. It was at those time ,so easy to make these refugee people to fight amongst themselves and within themselves, within their own brothers in a family, with one family and another, in very simple or very minor or even in non issues, passing/throwing an unnecessary untoward comments or a complaint from upper /middle class neighborhood people towards their prestige . Much and much later, Satya understood , poverty hits bitterly people on his/her back bone, on self respect, on self judgment of good or bad for him, on self confidence, and thus people in poverty or below poverty fights, quarrel, amongst them, within own family members, within a para, for a false prestige. They have a high sense of false prestige to them? They have their own economy system to live on this earth. Satya saw it like these, from his very child hood. These people used to quarrel for nothing so serious and much vague complaints amongst each other, amongst one family with another in their tents, thatched tally roofed house. They used to forget then that they were all refugees to outer society. And these upper class or upper middle class people enjoy or feel pleasure from their quarrel and breaking their unity. And used a term” Rotten people '' of Colony or “colony people '' not people of Bankim Palli or Have not class family. They probably did not know the meaning of Colony is colonization. Satya’s family, Siddartha’s family and most people living in BankimPalli, Natagarh areas belonged to '' Have not class” when 120 families of Purbaplli, Amarabati were in have class. People living in Amarabati, H.B Town and in Western side of Sodepur Rail station were well economically developed and many people living there belonged in “have classes' '. Government started building Housing and sold people in the western side adjacent to the railway line and station. Satya could understand that people of have class, always tries to poke the peoples of have not class in one or other ways with pseudo Burzoas views and lifestyle and people of have not families are to fight against the have class for almost everything and it was the story of not only in Sodepur village of West Bengal, but the world’s history. These people always tried to exploit the have not classes labour, intellect, skill and Debasis used to tell that “have class people can do even sodomy with have not class people, as have not classes allow them to be sodomized. The fight of “Tom uncle” is the best example- he explained Satya. And “Uncle Tom” was written in America[ now called the largest democracy], the most powerful and have class capitalists, in the first world. This fight is the basis of every revolution, every renaesious through out the world. The King, the Jar of Soviet Russo, The Duke in France, revolution and finally the government of a state every time became a spokesman and favors interests of have class. Now in West Bengal, in this country, it is the government, who represent the interests of upper middle class, rich class, heavy industrialists- those for all have class-though the government came through fight and endeavour of have not class people through democratic parliamentary system. The have class people never truly support the Marxist government. They support fascist, feudal, capitalistic and burzoas views ,attitude ,action , and idealism & government, like congress government or congress party. The truth is the same in a family structure too; the truth is in a Para or in a community, in a state or in a country. So fight in a family, in a community, ultimately if any, turns against the governance, against a system, against the state and against the country. So needed always changes of government, more then one or two democratic strong opposition party. 

Mr. GopalDas, told Satya once, that Gross Domestic Product[GDP] of a country, the economic standard on which a country’s economics runs, is not equally distributed amongst Indian population. Though it is the mainly farmer class, peasants populations of villages, it is the laborer class people in any industries, [mostly small and middle scale industries,], in various service sectors, in business sectors generate all over GDP. In West Bengal, in Agriculture [ quarterly Rs 58,777.44 cores comes as net state domestic product of West Bengal , from manufacturing sector Rs 35,610 cores followed by Road construction 20,56l cores. Other ways for NSDPE are Forestry, Mining, Electricity gas and Water supply, Transport storage and communication[43,000cores], Trade Hotel and Restaurants[16,873 cores] Real estate[27,588 cores] and public administrations and Insurances. Per capita income per year in west Bengal in 2006-07 was 28753 Indian Rupees only. He explained that all domestic products, domestic articles, we use, all foods we consume, all clothes we wear and everything we see in three dimensional[3D form] are produced by the skilled or unskilled laborer with their hard labour and sweat. All foods, raw, dry, or cooked we consume to sustain our human life, at large are produced by the farmers and peasants then by laborers in the food mills & food processing industries and laborer can be broadly classified as skilled and unskilled. In the year 2006 main workers in West Bengal unskilled 30.61% of which male were 51% female 8.74%; marginal workers{skilled workers} 2.57% when non workers[ middle class and rich class population ,who do not give any physical labor for a three dimensional product] were 17% in rural and 70% in urban town and city based areas. So these figures are enough to indicate that in urban, town and city areas middle class and richer class population are increasing and used as consumer of all 3 dimensional products of Net State Domestic Products and they utilizes it without contributing anything to make it. He told that upper middle class and richer class people are thus worthless creatures of Almighty God—Till this day, Satya believes these very words from the inner core of his heart. They are really worthless creatures of GOD and prophets . Satya asked Mr. Das” uncle! then would you not believe the conversion from below poverty line{BPL] to poverty line{PL] and then above poverty[APL] and becoming middle class or richer?”. He answered Satya—“ Yes I do believe!. I do believe in equal share, equal wages, equal education of children’s, equal health at free of cost nationalized never by private with incentive. Private people are always corrupt than government sectors. and it is possible only in socialistic or communistic system but not in a capitalist or fascist system and a well fare state should take responsibilities for three basic needs like education, health and equal social care and all system should run and controlled by a National governance system, must be nationalized and that is communism what did Marx, Mao &Lenin told.

 He simplified Das Capital according to his understanding. But Alas! Mr. Das’s dream never came true in West Bengal. In 2010, Satya knew it well that CPM party and it’s government favored rather Path of Capitalism, instead of implementation of socialism and or socialistic communism. The party and its government did however some beneficiary works for proletariats and poor people for first ten years of its governance up to 1990s, and then for last two decades it turned 180 degree towards upper middle, middle class, and richer class population of the state and development was mainly in city based, whatever it was. The rural suburban areas remained neglected. That must not be the policy, as the party came always in power for last 35 years seven assembly elections with vote and sweats of poor village class, proletariat class. This middle class population is/was a betrayer always as world history tells. People learn from the past history and history is for a lesson. And party leaders did not learn from history. They said first is capitalism and while practicing capitalism, facism at full, socialism and communism will come. First fill your lust, your all desire, your own comfort and your unnecessary wealth and expenditure, then spit, if anything rest remains for poor and poorest. The policy, in which members of a capitalistic family, a feudal family, a fascist family moves in the world. Satya knows that conversion rate from below poverty line to poverty line-1.9 –a better then in 1970s it was 0.9. What it mean? That amongst the hundred poor people’s only two people are reaching above the poverty line today. In 1976-77 when industries of India, people from West Bengal numbered thirteen(13) per 100 labourers, in 2009 it reduced drastically to only five(5), when in 1973-74 census of India told people living Below Poverty line was 50% ,in 2000 census of India it reduced to 27% and in 2010 census it increased to 29%. In 1977, registered industries in West Bengal when was 1585 and in Tamil Nadu it was 1633, in 2005 registered industries in West Bengal is 6100 when in Tamil nadu it was 2150. It is Ridiculous before Satya. Satya understands that profits or incentives that are generated by mill owners, any trade owner, and any private and semi-private industries is through from sweat and labor of all these laborers and farmers in the paddy fields or in agriculture.

 What Satya wanted from the left party government? Stomach full of two meals, two tiffin in the schools, some good clothes, free education, free quality health care and some somewhat good house, good road and communication and environment to live. Human life is too short and try to live in your own style. And this government for the last 35 years made them all private and purchasable commodities at high price from the open market or Bazaar system , AC mall, ACsuper market, Ionox system. For whom? You ask yourself! Satya wonders why the poor people still cast their vote for them. why they didn’t think for a change for 35 years? They are called caders of the party- West Bengal needed a revolution- a change and revolution is yet to come here. The real leaders are not born yet. 

Satya remembers till day a very simple question, one of his youngest twin brothers Ritwik asked him in 1997 ” well Barda ![the eldest brother], why people in our family do suffer from poverty, Tuberculosis, when all of us either a graduate or a post graduate in science or in commerce from university of kolkata- recognized by university grant commission and in West Bengal UGC recognized universities are University of Calcutta, Jadavpur university, Rabindra Bharati University and Kalyani university at Nadia district and he did point his fingers towards Sammadar’s family and houses “…. and look! None of them are even graduate! - None of them do hard physical labor! Except Sonali Dee in our house, and as I do work. But they possesses mansion like big houses for all their brothers except one[Binoy uncle], two cars, they wire costly cloths; have refrigerator to drink cold water and ice cream in summer; Television set, Air conditioner; Marble tiles in bath room floors also and what not? They lead always a very comfortable life. Why not we? Ritwik was then a 3rd year law student(BA-LLB ) in Surendranath college of Law , kolkata, under university of Calcutta, and was actively involved in student politics with Trinamul congress(TMC] party and Satya knew that such an involvement in active politics of a party other than students forum of CPM, SFI could ruin his study and his ulterior chosen dream to pass out as law graduate- what happened later truly in reality. Ritwik fell mentally ill- developed his hidden schizophrenia- a psychosis that was hidden in his genomic DNA from mother, expressed with his poverty, negligence and worst family struggles with poverty. He had to take lithium drugs, antipsychotic medication, Resperine, antidepressant drugs long years together- Valporate- a highly central nervous system depressive drugs affecting the brain's functional spike potentials and thought process.

 What Ritwik once, in 1997 asked Satya, probably a prototype question for any left politics conscious person and that Fidel Castro in his boy hood also asked his immediate junior Raoul Castro- the same. Raoul Castro had education and had an answer for his immediate senior brother Fidel but Satya had really no answer for Ritwik, as Satya knew that the real answer lies in womb of his unit family members-his spouse, Tito’s spouse, Pinto’s spouse- though Ritwik pointed his finger towards Sammadar’s house. He was then yet clever and conscious boy. Satya’s family-his spouse Sorojini led her life and she always enforced Satya to follow with Burzoaska, feudal, capitalistic system and imagology rather than any ideology and according always her own young sister’s direction and was much envy for Satya’s parent family members good, since her marriage for nothing positive cause. Satya could never change her- she grew up and belonged to a middle upper class Burzoa society, grew up in feudal, post British colonial educational system in various steel plant towns-had her education from schools where individuality, selfishness is taught- as a storyteller I shall rather tell her story letter. Don’t mind- You just go on guess and guess! 

 The Sammadar undivided Hindu as a joint family was one of local landlords and jottdder( class enemy according to carl Marx) of Purbapali , Bankim Palli and Natagarh village lands of Sodepur areas of that times. Sodepur was though then a suburb to kolkata, and within 24 parganas District-- 20 kilometer away from Sealdah main Rail way station by local steam engine Rail Trains(local EMU train then did not started) was not like today’s cosmopolitan, and highly developed Sodepur Town,[ Note Bellow_: according to wikipedia, Ganadarpan, Kolkata Metroploitan Development Authority. http://www.cmdaonline.com/kma.html. Retrieved 2007-09-03. Website north24parganas.nic.in and refrence.com as published _: Sodepur (Bengali: সোদপুর) is a small town located about 40 km from Kolkata, which is today, one of the major Indian cities. Sodepur is a part of the Panihati Municipality under Barrackpore sub-division and North 24 Parganas district of the state of West Bengal. It is a part of the area covered by Kolkata Metropolitan Development Authority[1] The major landmark of modern to days Sodepur is the shopping mall complexes named Sriniketan, and the Peerless Nagar Housing Complex , Lokasanskriti Bhawan in the West Side of Sodepur Railway station, Rathindra cinema in the East side at Sodepur Station road and Mina Cinema Hall on the BT Road. Perpendicular to this road, is Sodepur Station Road, which is Sodepur’s major shopping areas. This road is lined with shops selling all various items. The Sodepur suburban railway station lies on the right of this road. The posh area of Sodepur for rich and upper class people is Amarabati, H.B.Town, a very natural growing up town though very costly living standard. Sodepur's important neighborhoods are villages, however less developed Purbapalli, Ghola ,Bankimpalli, Natagarh, Sulekha pansheela in the eastern side of Rail Station, while Govt. Housing Estate, Peerless nagar , Panihati, etc. in the western side of Rail Station. The oldest school at Sodepur is Sodepur High School (H.S.). It was established in 1853. This school is one of the oldest in West Bengal. The other old schools here are Chandrachur Vidyapith (Boys, Girls and Primary), Desbandhu Sikshyatan, St. Xaviers Institute( very recent), Buniadi School. Panihati College, APC college , which contributed much in education system of the locality. Most of people of Sodepur are today service personnel either in any Government sector, semi- government sector or in private sectors. There are many shops where some of the people are employed. Though educational level of sodepur is today very high (about > 80% literate at graduate or Secondary level standard) the unemployment rate is also very high as there are no industries and scope of agriculture there. EMCO(India) based in Sodepur manufactured Shutter Vibrators, Grinders, Step Down Transformers and distributed all over India. Sodepur in the Barrackpore sub division was historically famous for the Khadi Prathistan, where historic decisions with regard to freedom struggle of India were taken by Mahatma Gandhiji and other great leaders like Subhas Chandra Bose. In 1921, Satish Chandra Dasgupta, an eminent chemist, resigned from Bengal Chemicals influenced by the Gandhian thought of Swadeshi and set up the Ashram . This ashram near the Sodepur Railway Station has a special place in the history of the Indian independence movement. Gandhi termed this ashram as his second home and stayed at this Ashram at various times 1939, 1945, 1946, 1947 and lived here for five to seven weeks. Sodepur is mostly occupied by the people those were uprooted from Bangladesh (East Pakistan and those came as proletariat refugee in the Indo Bangladesh War. Majority of the population of sodepur in its eastern side of rail station migrated as refugees of Bangladesh at present either from division of Bengal in 1947 or during the war of Bangladesh. They were settled either by purchasing low lands from land owners or having lands from government mostly they concentrated at Bankimpalli, Natagarh, Ghola areas as an effort of late Mr. Bholanath Bhattacharya of Purbapalli and late Mr. Gopal Das. sodepur was the castle of CPM party since long years once the party was organized by late Mr. Gopal Das and late Mr. Bholanath Bhattacharya and his friends in middle 1960s and continues till this days with leadership of Mr Gopal Bhattacharya and Mr. Chitta Majumdar. Sodepur has a new police station of its own though mostly controlled under Khardaha Police station. The Health System for people of Sodepur consists of mostly private Nursing Homes and Private practitioners apart from one State General Hospital] 

 But Sodepur in 1960s, rather was a village proto type mostly in its eastern side of Rail station with countable numbers one storied buildings houses, mostly kwacha,uneven & muddy roads, low lands, where waterlogged in rainy times and hogla jungles grew there, plenty numbers of shallow ponds, empty lands for paddy fields, jungles full of green grasses, kash flowers in Spring & autumn, big trees- coconuts, mango, Karabi flowers trees ,jam frits, Khejur fruits, aswatha trees, Falsa fruit trees, karabi flower trees and one could perceive the earth in its horizon curve through the trees . Mr. Sammadar family at Purbapalli was one of such few landlords there. Others were, Mr.De ,Mr.Moitra, Mr.Phallan, Mr.Pal. Mr. Basak. They also used to sell their lands. So they were very rich. They were enough rich to lead a very glorious, gorgeous life for every members of their family without even a high school education and without a drop of their sweat from their physical labour, except one man from their family Mr. Binoy Sammadar or Binoy uncle. God only knew, why by a chance of his mistake , Binoy uncle in their generation, became only graduate with history honors from University of Calcutta in their family? He was separated from undivided family & built his small ground storied house; separate, a little distance away from Mr. Sammadar joint family mansion house. He had two daughters fair complexioned “Papia Dee” and “BulBul Dee” and one son “Khokon”. His wife was a bosom friend of Satya’s mother. She named her “MejDee”. Binoy uncle was also friend of Bhola Babu and visit their house on and often to discuss with BholaBabu on various matters, including his own family problems, if any. He had another earning from business of selling LIC insurances as an agent and various other insurances like newly started chit fund business Peerless Insurances.. He used to wear a dhoti- classical begalee dress and often remained bare chest with sacred thread. He often walked in the rally of CPM party. Sammadar family used to sell off their lands before new comers, who wanted to settle in those areas. They used to give money loan to poor and needy people with high interest- the system of micro finance- Bankers for poor, for which Professor Yunus of Bangladesh, won Peace Nobel Prize in 2008-. How ever Prof. Yunus was through “Gramin Banking” system of Bangladesh. But the concept was almost same. Take loan- pay it with high interest- take a further loan-pay it and thus the loan principal never be paid up. Satya could never respect any members of Sammadar family. BholaBabu also purchased five kathas and six chattaks land in the next plot of Sammadar’s joint family, selling off all gold ornaments of his wife, loan from his office friends and did built their house applying loan from his office and his provident fund. He started his house with one brick built Pakka room in 1961s and ended incomplete 1st floor 1984. But it was irony of fact, that probably grew up in the darkness of future time that Satya’s 3rd brother Pinto will one day fall in love with one of teen aged girl of Sammadar’s family, who however crossed boundary of high school from Chandrachur Vidyapith for girls with many private tutors and Sammadars family was so proud of her that they threw a party [with their all near by and distant relatives and other upper class society people, neighborhoods of Purbapalli) for her passing Higher Secondary in 3rd grade. With all neighbors, Satya’s family including his father, were invited, when Satya’s father however belonged to separate group class and one of their envy. They were so much proud that within some days they brought a band new fiat car for her and appointed a middle aged person as a new Shafer to escort her at Jaypuria college, shyambazar- she was Sonali. Sonali became wife of Pinto in distant future in 1989. At first Satya was against that marriage but Satya's father was in strong favor of his 3rd son. The family politics stepped in Satya’s family in a very short time. But today Satya must agree that his father Bhola Babu had a fore sight. It is really mysterious till how Pinto could manage and control Sonali and her parents and other family relatives and stayed in unit family though he built a new one storied building for them. Sonali ran a beauty parlor- the first beauty parlor in Sodepur and was the owner of it.

 A little far away of Satya’s family’s little house, a new neighbor built their new house, purchasing lands from Mr. Brazen Sammadar. Satya saw construction of this house from digging its basement to construction of roof. It was a Bungalow pattern house, with a quite different architecture, than of other houses in Purbapalli- most modern ship architecture at that time in late part of 1960s. This family also purchased the land from Mr.Brazen Sammadar. Their land was a large pond before. Satya with his friends swam there after playing saucer ball , till the coming night fall in sky or before going to school in school. It was a shallow pond then. Owner of that house was Mr. Dutta . He was a short height man with complete baldness on his skull. His wife Mrs. Dutta was an actress in group theaters, staging at various kolkata theater halls. Mr. Dutta had two daughters and a son. Debjani and Enna. The older was named as Enna and younger was Debjani. Her nick name was TuTu. Debjani got admission in the same school of Satya’s in nine standard classes in the morning section, they had a brother, Biswanath and every one called him “Bishu”. The younger girl, Debjani seemed like older one Enna and vice versa. But they were not however twin. They migrated in Sodepur from south Calcutta now “Golf Green” areas. Mr. Dutta’s house was a nice built house, marble floored, well decorated with very costly modern wooden furniture, sofa sets, TV sets( Black and white), Radio, Gramophones, Telephone, Electricity, Big lawn and verandas along with rocking chairs, where Mr. Dutta’s family, some times their relatives, their friends waited for night fall in the sky, in summer times, gossiping, inhaling, the sweet smells of Rajani Gandha and jasmine flowers- their old garden keeper planted. They had planted small trees with some red, some blue, some pink flowers and a straight always cleaned side walks were lined with some trees of note of colors along with bloomed flowers in that garden. One could also hear many birds singing in those flower trees. In mid and late 1960s, there were no two storied building houses at Purbapalli or Bankimpalli or in Natagarh [ these types of houses were seen well in Amarabati, H.B Town or in western side of Railway station] except of very few like Mr. Sammadars house. Mr. Dutta’s house, Mr. Aich’s house or Mr. Saha’s house and Mr. Dutta’s house was a Bungalow type house like a ship architecture.

 Mr. Dutta gradually with years became a member of left CPM party also. It is not well understood why he chooses to be member of that party whose work, idealism was different one and whose majority members were proletarians, refugee, and slum and colony people. At that time middle class Burzoa people sneezed at name of CPM party. It is not known whether Mr. Dutta wanted to be member for his family security or party wanted his friendship and donation.He thus became a friend of BholaBabu. He used to visit at Satya’s house when there was a meeting of CPM Party. 

One evening, Satya accompanied his father to Comrade Dutta’s bungalow house. The party meeting was scheduled to be held that evening in comrade Dutta’s bungalow. It was the first time that Mr. Dutta became host of that local party members gathering. They had electricity, ceiling fans, Black & white Television set electric radio set. Satya never saw before, these varieties of very costly furniture of mahogany or seguen wood and polished so beautifully chairs cot and center tables. They had a big aquarium, where verities colored sea fishes were swimming and a doll was creating bubbles of water to catch fishes in a net in his hand. They had a peculiar dog. Satya heard it later was “ Dovarian species dog” small in size and shape but highly dangerous for any strangers in house. 

 Mr. Gopal Das asked satya to accompany Debjani and Enna in other room. Debjani was a little shorter in her height then Enna was and in that fifteen years of her age, had a good feminine flamboyant appearance and as fair complexioned like pink rosy color skin ,like their mother had. She was a full grown up figure. She used to speak very fast and in an unmistakable way of speaking, swallowing often the last syllable of words and she used to end up her sentences with an aspirated exclamation! Both the sister dressed costly, but soberly, with yellow sari and blouse and very occasionally with red or pink colored frocks, when she practiced her dancing. Debjani knew dancing well since she practiced it from her very childhood. One middle aged bald headed man with moustache use to travel from Goal park are of kolkata in every saturdays evening to teach her dance- she told Satya one day and she used to move her waist and her circular ass with such a boldness--- was very unusual at that time, seen amongst girls and women at village Purbapalli neighborhoods. She seemed like a modest, inhibited, colorful girl. Debjani practiced her dancing often in lawn or in their big veranda or in garden with typical rhythm and good grace of her smiling and shining eyes and softly singing the words of Rabindrasangeet or Bangla dance songs, raising her arms in dance mudras, sometimes lifting her sari or frock showing her knees, moving her waist and shoulder , so that her feminine gracious body to which her costly sari blouses, skirts cling and were in meaningful ways. She had so many beautiful curvatures even at her age of fifteen, seemed to shake, vibrate in her walking in their garden from the end of her hair to her toes.

 Mr.Das told Satya to accompany Debjani and Enna to another room. Debjani wore a sari and blouse. The beautifully colored sari and matching blouses. She was looking gracious and a grown up lady. She looked like a grown up lady at her menarche. Before Debjani, Satya also had shy feelings about girls and ladies though he knew fantasy stories of his friend Debasis.   He had shyness in presence of opposite sex and several girls of his village Purbapalli. Initially Satya had no feeling for Debjani also. Satya was so scared and was hesitant enough to go with Debjani in other room. But Mr. Das’s words were all final for any one. He told it was a very important meeting for ensuing municipality election they were first time participating as per party line decision taking part in parliamentary democracy and Satya need not to be present there. Mr.Gopal Bhattacharya, who for long years became Member of Legislative Assembly of CPM party from Panihati Constituency, also supported Mr. Das. Mr. Gopal Bhattacharya was also then with a refugee camp from East Pakistan and working for the CPM organization to grow up. Another important comrade, a young boy, was there. He was Dulal Chakraborty. Satya had no other option but to accompany Debjani and Enna. Enna was then busy giving instruction to their maid for preparing tea, coffee, suerbat, and snakes to be served for that gathering. And the gathering was on their lawn. Her mother was not at home.

 As Satya entered the room, he understood , both sisters Debjani and Enna was eagerly waiting to be introduced with him. Soon after, Debjani took him in her room. It was gorgeous and beautifully decorated, nicely cleaned and a big room for both sisters. Red colored heavy curtains in the windows made it more beautiful. Satya could never think such a big room for himself or for his brothers and sister or for his parents’

---“you are surely Satya Brata?” first boy of class nine, in school” she smiled in her sparkling eyes and smiling thick lips, colored with costly lipsticks. Her teeth dazzled white.

__ “and you are?” Satya asked

 _ “Debjani”… “and not of course of Kuatch! But for someone else! “She laughed musically “you may call my nickname Tu… Tu.. Tuuu Tuu” every one in our family calls me in that name “ have you heard singing of a bird TU…. Tu …Tu… Tuee” ever

_ “ You can call me Satya- every one call me in that name”

_ “ I heard so much of you in school—I heard about your PAPA- I know many things of you—your friend’s name Siddhartha, Bablu, Khokon, Deepak, Debasis, Biru - my brother !You Know him? Bishwanath.. Bishu! Is fan of yours and of your friends….. He wants to join with your group…. He is lonely here… “ she told all these so fast 

“ I saw you probably at the school gate.. Talking with other girls!?”

 __ “of course you must have seen me. Am I not beautiful to be seen by boys? – I often wait to see you entering in school. I am in your class . Class nine standard.. In the morning session”

 Satya’s eyes struck suddenly on two books in the rack of a beautifully Belgium glass covered bookshelf . He stepped there “ May I have one book?”

 _ “Why Not?” 

He opened he shelf and took two books “ they were Joseph Brodsky’ Watermark and of Borris Pasternak Doktor Zhivago” by Nobel Prize winner in literature authors 

 Have you read it? Satya opened the book “Doktor Zivago”

“Nay ! I don’t like Politics, all words like, revolution, potato fire, intermittent wars, French revolution or Russian revolution. These books belong to my brother and Enna. She pointed her index at Enna. Enna from the kitchen turned her shoulder, and gave a smile at Satya. She was pleased that they were talking about her interest. She was busy preparing snacks with their maid to serve the gathering at the lawn. She was preparing lemon sorbet for them. “ I don’t understand tough words like French revolution or Russian revolution. It is very hard book for me to understand and digest. I am a very simple girl, want to live simply with my family- I like to be colorful, dancing, and singing with richness and prosperity. I want to be happy in my life. I have one life and I meant to enjoy that gracefully……” she went on speaking continuously without catching her breath

 That evening Satya and Debjani with Enna talked, laughed, till the meeting was over. In that meeting several important decisions were taken as resolution.1] Mr. Gopal Das will submit his nomination as contesting councilor of ward no 17 from CPM party against Bangla congress candidate now in chair 2] they will fight for possession of lands from Mr. Brazen Sammadar through government and local Panihati municipality for landless refugees of Bankimpalli and Natagarh 3] they will contribute to bring electricity posts in roads 4] they will start night watching and one male members from each family must be allotted to prevent recent thefts and dacoit 5] they will ask municipality for deep tube well, construction of sanitary latrine at each house 6] Mr. Gopal Bhattacharya will fight in Assembly election from CPM party and Satya’s father Bhola Babu will be his counting agent and for candidates from the party both in municipal and Assembly elections

Satya’s Grey matter at that very age was totally political and Mr. Gopal Das and BholaBabu wanted his son to be a future Marxist politician. But Satay’s mother seriously wanted Satya not to be involved in active politics. Satya at that age, made a clear cut distinction in his cortical memory cells between “ haves “ and “ haves not” and Satya’s family was in “ Have not” when “ Debjani and Enna'' belonged in “ Have class” . In eyes of Satya, she belonged in “beauroya class” and in the Class enemy group. So there was a clear understanding that by no chance, Debjani or Enna can be friends of Satya. Satya had two bosom and important friends “ Siddhartha and Debasis and his idol was “ Mr. Gopal Das, Arunava Da, Chandan Da, Dipankar Da” Debasis was two years senior, student of class eleven, going to appear in Higher Secondary school leaving examination. Debasis was first boy of another school “ Trannath Vidya Mandir '' at Panihati, near river “Ganges and Panihati cremation smasan Ghat of Panihati municipality. Debasis had very high level intellect and in his later life became a WBCS{west Bengal Civil Services Executive} and class I officer in Central Excise Department, holding the rank of Deputy Director, father of two boys and he could maintain a joint family structure with his brother’s family. Debasis loved particle physics and higher mathematics. He taught and guided Satya’s youngest other twin brother “Rupak” physics and mathematics at free of cost and of course it was his teaching and contribution, that Rupak came out finally with concept of “ Zero mass particle in The Big Bang moment of Universe creation(Planck’ s time] and cause of mass in matter is probably another particle in Higgs fields he hypothesized first in world, called according Rupak’s name “ Rupak particle or R Particle in family of Neutrinos particles”, His concept of Anti matter and Anti universe Anti galaxies and Bhattacharya Model of Universe and anti universe and multi electrical universe in1993 and he first told Gravity is due to a particle he called it “Graviton” and not simple energy Gravity is for which he was nominated for Nobel Prize in Physics before the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences, Sweden by Professor Pranab kumar Bhattacharya, as he was an official nominator for Royal Swedish Academy in 2008 and in 2010. He was nominated for Nobel peace Prize for 2013 along with Mr Gene Sharp by Professor Pranab kumar Bhattacharya as one of steering committee member of WestBengal Branch of International Peace Bureau and member of Nobel peace forum Oslo.

Debasis was 2nd son of a local school master, teaching then Sanskrit in his school and they were six brothers and three sisters. Debasis used to do jobs, played games, cricket, soccer balls, was expert in swimming under water, butterfly stroke, back stroke in large ponds and he was really a very naughty boy, was fond of doing all those was not very usual and commonly not done by boys of his age 18. He was more matured in his intellect and his mind & IQ then his chronological age was and he had a very high IQ. He used to talk many filthy verbs and syllables in almost all his colloquial sentences in Bengalese like “fucking, cunt, bokachoda, ass hole, and boobs” and many them alike. Both Satya and Debasis was topper in their respective classes and in respective schools. But Debasis’s total score in marksheet always remained much better then of Satya’s. He never scored less than 95% in his classes. Even in his Higher secondary school leaving examinations, he scored 83% with three letters (>80% marks) and was admitted at Presidency college with physics honors. He scored first class in BSC physics Hons degree of university of Calcutta. However at that school living age, he read all adult stories like Charles Dickens, Lolita, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, Mid Summer Day Night, Madam Brovery , The first three munites” and used to talk about female body, female sex and their ecstasy and orgasm. He started his masturbation when he was in his class eight standard. He often told Satya a peculiar feeling of Sex urge for his little distant but a married relative women, who had two grown up sons. By his relation, that lady was his aunt. He had a fantasy about female body. His aunt had two sons then of age 10 years and 7 years and her husband suffered from some kinds of psychiatric illness, old Tuberculosis, COPD and Asthma. She was in her middle thirties, fatty, obese with accumulation of fat in her middle parts, loose and protuberant lower abdomen, large circular ass and wearing spectacles in her eyes. She was middle black complexioned, lost shining of her skin and habit of constant chewing tobacco with pan and betel nut. She was not at all a beautiful woman in her appearence, that young boys of eighteen cold feel sex with her. Her husband, often suffered from breathing problems and required admission at Panihati primary health center[ later the hospital turned into a state general hospital status by DFD monetary help with new Ground floor OPDs and ward buildings and set up] or had to take injection from ESI local doctor. In a year, he also suffered from exacerbations of his psychiatric illness. He used to take antipsychotic medications like Largectil and developed slurring of his speech, mask facies like Parkinson’s. Her husband was thin and his neck muscles vibrated, ribs became prominent. His eye balls protruded and bulged. Debasis often used to go his uncle house, when his uncle required admission in hospital and his nephew brothers came to give news of theirs father’s admission in hosp[ital. Debasis, with permission or order of his parents, spent night there, till his uncle returned back home from hospital. Satya sometimes also went to   Debasis’s uncle house. It was near Sulekha, in Ghola Bazzar- a brick built without outside cement plaster house with asbestos roof. His uncle was worker at cotton mill of Mr. Sammadar’s. They had three small rooms with a small veranda. A small dining cum drawing room. The rooms were decorated with very old and broken furniture, chairs, table for study and a very small worship room for goddess for her aunt

Did Debasis really felt sex towards that woman of middle thirty, rather than many other younger girls of his age or bellow his age. In fact, there was nothing worthy in her, for whom a boy like Debasis would feel sex towards such a women, leaving aside, many better looking younger girls of Purbapalli or Amarabati and Debasis told him that his aunt also knew about his passion for her. She could read it in Debasis eyes and mind. Was it not a perversion or an Oedipus complex? Or was it a simple fantasy for debasis? Debasis was otherwise very shy to mix with opposite sex and had no girl friends. Usually, common girls avoid friendship or mixing such a scholar boy or topper boy, who always scored first in their class. They rather respect them from a distance. For Satya the rule was the same, unless Debjani would come and was straight forward and scored herself 2nd or some time first in her class. Girls like mediocre boys with average and or with low intelligence and IQ, whom they can mobilize according her wishes and will and who will remain always loyal to her own family, who will give her always security, who will never question to her and will always support her acts what ever it is.- Debjani told satya once. They do not like “Book worms” or “scholar”, or “revolutionist” boys. Debasis' aunt also understood, sensed and guessed his mind, feeling and his hidden desire towards her. She was not at all beautiful in her appearance or in complexion to fall in love or to feel physical attraction with her and she was first astonished for it but she never rebuked or spoke a single word on this until the night…. And Debasis had a fantasy story for himself, like this    

….” One day, when Debasis Higher secondary board school leaving examination was just over, and according him, he did it very well, and he was in vacation, awaiting for his result out, his distant related uncle at Sulekha Ghola Bazar, was admitted for further exacerbations of his breathing difficulty and that time his uncle was referred at R.G.Kar Medical college, from Panihati Primary Health Center hospital and he was admitted there, through emergency, followed a shifting in chest department. His aunt and their eldest son of 10 years accompanied in an ambulance to get him admitted there. Debasis ,from that night had to stay in his uncle’s house for some days. Satya with Debasis and his aunt also visited his uncle next day morning in visiting hours and he was a little bit stable then. Few days later, in one evening, debasis confessed and told him the story that he saw his aunt’s clean and clean shaved cunt, while she was sleeping in her bed. That evening his aunt had a fever and debasis slept in other room with her eldest son. In late night, he decided firmly and very stealthily like a cat paws, stepped in her room and with his high tachycardia, in his heart rhythm, sweat drop of perspirations at tip of his nose, and upper lips, he very gently , very cautiously, very gently ,slowly, taking much and much time, curled up her sari and petticoat from her feet, first exposing both her elegant knees, then both thighs and then near her inguinal groins and finally exposing her cunt, seen in moon light and light from street lamps fell on her bed through open shutters of windows. Was his old aunt in deep sleep? She could not understand or feel that? After some time was over, much unexpectedly, suddenly, his aunt unconsciously separated her both thighs & legs exposing her perineum and full texture ,shape of her cleanly shaved cunt before dazzling eyes of Debasis. It was a large cunt, recently cleaned of all pubic hairs as he described and Debasis head leaned in between her thighs, to inspect details, in moon light, he could not however prevent it touching of it with his trembling fingers and Debasis, and Satya sitting on bare roof of their house, in choking voice, he gave Satya vivid description, how her cunt looked like, how it became gradually, with time, became wet and juicy, as he gently and smoothly fingered along her labia’s margins. His aunt allowed him that surprisingly separate, unconsciously her two thighs, her two knees and two legs. Her clitoris became stiff & erect, but she still pretended to be deeply asleep, in motionless posture, on her back. Debasis saw a cunt for first time. Was the story possible at all? Can any sensible person believe his story? Was not the story a fantasy of a 18 years boy of low income class? But Debasis continued his story. Two or three days later, he told Satya, he unbuttoned her blouse and enjoyed the beauty of her large inelastic voluminous two breasts ,those fell alongside her axillae and a wide cleft and wide space in between them. Her erected two short and stout nipples with dimples, deep brown areolas. He saw her naked breasts for long time sitting beside her and he then curled up her sari and under petticoat above her inguinal groin, same manner, as he did earlier that night and her aunt kept her thighs and legs in lithotomy position, soon after. This time Debasis gathered enough courage in his mind to separate her labia majora with his index and thumbs , felt her clitoris erected and he gently and smoothly fingered her clitoris. She remained quiet. He for some times hesitated to introduce his index finger through her large smooth introituses- but he very soon firmly inserted. It seemed to him quiet hot inside, but little watery and he fingered in depth of her mucosa, fingered her clitoris from its inner depth and his aunt did not protest him at all or removed his finger, or opened her eyelids but remained quite, motionless and he accumulating much of his courage fingered in half circle rhythm it smoothly and with other fingers pressed and fondled very gently her breasts. He had still enough fear in his mind, if she awake suddenly and refuses him. Surprisingly his aunt did not move and Debasis kissed on her lips and now fingered vigorously in her introituses. Soon it became full of watery juice of her cervical secretions with peculiar unfamiliar sounds, and when suddenly she sighed off her pleasure and sex, turned unexpectedly herself back and by her both hands she drew her sari and petticoat again down her heel, swaging up her legs in air and turned on other side and remained as if asleep. Debasis became afraid momentarily and he got down from her bed and stood at window grill in darkness of night. He stood there several minutes looking at starry sky through grills controlling his up flaminig desire and growing sex. But his desire and sex grew up further .He saw her aunt sleeping in same posture motionless. He again very silently stepped toward her bed, drew up mosquito net , sat beside her belly, and gently curled up her sari and under petticoat slowly. She remained asleep turning her back. This time Debasis saw her circular big ass. She allowed him to see . He touched her naked rough and dry skin of her ass and pressed his hand in between her thighs from her back side to grasps her cunt. She allowed him to grasp& fit it perfectly. As he squeezed it very gently, she separated her two thighs wide apart. Her vulva was this time wet of her inner vaginal secretions. Debasis made it more secreting, again introducing his index finger. She remained yet so silent and quite. Debasis this time leaned on her cheek, kissed on her dimple chin and hold up her one breast so gently and sucked her short but stout nipple and still she remained non responsive and pretending to be asleep. He sucked her breast for some times simultaneously fingering vigorously her introitus. She kept her thighs separated allowing Debasis to suck her nipples like an infant baby. Debasis took out his engorged stuff and pressed it lightly on her ass skin. That bursted Debasis on skin of her big ass and it was at such a height of his excitement, that he could not separate him from her. After some time, when Debasis went back in his bed, he listened his aunt to open her door, to go to bathroom. He told his aunt always shaves her pubic hairs and keep the area clean

 Satya did not want to believe all these absurd stories. All were fantasies of a boy of 18 and Debasis had no real girl friends. Satya went several occasions at Debasis uncle’s house at Sulekha of Ghola Bazaar. She seemed to be a middle aged ,around her late thirties or early forties, with her motherly affectionate behavior towards Debasis and his brothers and sisters, rather a most religious lady, believing and worshiping Hinduism, God and Goddess, and engaged herself in her daily “Samsar'' duties, her two sons, her ill husband’s care. She was however frustrated with her husband’s illness, especially when his psychosis exacerbated and depression of her husband became long lasting. She was never a sexy woman in her appearances or behavior at all. She was like all semi literate village mothers and a loyal village wife. Had Debasis an Oedipus complex? or a perversion at his 18 years? He was a very good boy and topper in his class with a very high intellect. Satya himself also had minimum idea of doing sex or sex of a female. He then did not start masturbation even. But he liked to listen his fantasy stories In poverty laden families, in low socioeconomic class sex remains like a daily passing of urine or passing your stool. Sex is enjoyable of Godly passion and or with ecstasy before upper class and middle class society people, who’s other human survival needs are satisfied. That was the concept of Carl Marx in his Das capital. Sex and Prostitution is rather also marker of Poverty. So is AIDS a marker of extreme poverty in a society . When Soviet union fell, when Russ economy crashed and there were leaping unemployment , Prostitution even by elete class women and their Sex increased in Soviet union . The cause was to earn US dollars. Debasis' aunt belonged to Satya’s class and Debasis too. Debasis' aunt never appeared to be sexy or an unsatisfied woman, but a very simple looking village house wife of low socioeconomic class, complete house wife, affectionate mother, loyal wife, affectionate mother, disturbed and troubled mentally and economically with her husband tuberculosis, breathing problem and psychosis. She was a frustrated woman with her husband too. How could she allow Debasis, who was her nephew, younger to her age to do all those sinfully bogus acts? Unnatural phenomenon! More over she was very obese, flamboyant with protuberant belly bellow her stomach, large circular ass, Naval looking, elastic two large breasts—not at all attractive or beautiful to hug by any young boy or even by older man. Her eyes also never told such an illicit, shameful, sinful relation with her nephew Debasis. But Debasis seriously claimed all his stories were true. Satya one evening explained Debasis- all these were his fantasy, his dreams, towards sex—and all these can not be real. But Debasis claimed to be a fact on his part. He was however first and always topper boy of a school. Should he tell a lie? When he knew Satya never likes a liar. 

His uncle returned from Hospital. His one lung was almost destroyed and fibrosed. Other lung was emphysematous, had a small bulla and a cavity. His tuberculosis, though not relapsed, resulted in Bronchiectasis as its complication. He was so given Streptomycin, INH, PAS. Refampicin was not available then. He joined his service at Sodepur cotton mill again with a fit to resume his duty certificate from RGKar Chest Department and his Tuberculosis was not an open case. His breathing difficulty often worsens, when he attempts a little bit heavy work in the mill or exercise. He was so shifted as supervisor for doing night duties. He often coughed sputum and every morning his wife massaged on his back to cough out accumulated sputum in night in his lungs. He was going to develop Bronchiectasis. His wife arranged a separate room; so long she used it for worship of her God and Goddess where his children had also restricted entry before their father. Tuberculosis was then considered severe contagious be it open or closed type. They needed to be treatment in a sanatorium at jadavpur K.S roy T.B hospital . But how a person of low socioeconomic class will provide sanatorium cost? And more over who will bear the burden of his family needs for one year, if he is not doing his duty in cotton mill and get his salary? So he was kept isolated in a separate room, separate utensils for his use, separate cloths and every thing for him was separated.

 Another day, Debasis confessed Satya that he in real sense fucked his aunt with her full consent, in silence, and her cooperation, in the middle of the night, she was in her sleep, on her bed. Before intercourse, he fore played with her for at least an hour or if not more to arouse her desire at full length to be fucked by him, lying beside her in her bed, sharing her pillow and convincing her and her aerosol. She also surprisingly cooperated him fully , althrough, without any kind of rebuke or any sort of minimum resistance, protest from her end and joined actively with him in fore play so silently and enjoyed his love game, staring at his eyes in the darkness and often sighing off her growing ectasy in darkness in bed net. Debasis aroused her by sucking her thick tobacco stained lips, moving his lips on her, snaking her tongue with him around her mouth, clenched teeth and palate, swallowing her tobacco mixed saliva, fingering around her nipples, licking around her brown areola with his tongue, squeezing her bare & open breasts, kissing around her umbilical. Unknotting her petticoat, curling down her sari and petticoat on her clean and shaved mons, fingering gently her labial margins and inside her cunt. She was secreting then heavily. Everything they did so silently. NO one could sense it little. She was totally seduced. She could not believe it before that a boy of 18 years old, like Debasis could have such a sex urge for an old lady like herself, and she never imagined also that and when Debasis unbuttoned and showed her his venous blood filled engorged excitement, before her eyes, she probably blushed in pink looking at it and she stared peculiarly at his act of exhibiting it before her, and she confessed that she had really no idea that she had still some kind of attraction towards even a teen aged boy, to a topper boy and very good boy like Debasis himself and that some man/boys can till day are excited at her female body, though she was not at all beautiful to look and she knew that very well, and when Debasis kissed on her clean shaved mon pubis arc, she with her two hands with maiden bandits pressed his head, nose and mouth on it, separating her two thighs, two legs well apart and moving her pelvis & perinium in forward thrusts and offered her body to Debasis ,as if she was offering herself to her God and Goddess and she behaved with him next, as if she was yet a virgin girl and it was her first fore play with a man and she was experiencing first sex in her life. That was a pleasant experience for Debasis. She herself next with her own fingers separated her labial folds to show him how long her erect clitoris is while in aerosol and how much juicy she still is, if she is properly stimulated by fore play. She knew it well Debasis is a novis boy and it was his first experience. She allowed him to inspect it vividly. With high curiosity he inserted his fingers in her hot juicy ,secreting interior felt depthness to touch her cervical os,while she stared at him in half darkness with high expectation and peculiar smile on her lips, biting often lower one with her teeth, some times snaking around her lips, clenching her pillow or bed sheet or moving her perineum in upward or forward or side thrusts. That resulted in Tung Tung musical sounds sometimes from her bandits on her wrists and debasis enjoyed that sound. When Debasis touched her asshole, she further blushed into redness but allowed him to inspect as a novice boy and when he was ready to penetrate her and did it an inch or two, she was so highly pleased and grateful to receive him within her and whispered him that actually she also awaiting for it for a long time, by some man whom she could trust. She had no sex with her husband for long six or seven years or so, for his Tuberculosis, for his breathing problems and psychosis. His breathing problems worsen, when ever he attempted doing sex with her. More over her husband's stuff did not erect enough and was not hard enough to satisfy or bring her any orgasm ever. She almost forgot the godly pleasure of female orgasm & probably she felt it once in her total married life-she remembered it. She had no option left open for choosing sex with other, considering her social security , her loyalty to her samsar, her age, her non appeal physique and her identity and she kept her sex hunger, sex urge within herself hidden by force and through worship GOD and Godess. That kept her a little cool. She however needed much time for her cum and orgasm and she had not tested her orgasm for long several years. She is so grateful before Debasis, though he was too young for her age, that he himself had approached and had shown his courage to have this relation, which she however sensed a year back and she is quite aware that such illicit relation is sin before eyes of society her relatives.No body accepts such a relation and every one will blame her as every persons knows Debasis a very good first boy. She requested him earnestly to keep her Identity ,her dignity, her solidarity, in society amongst relatives as it was before as aunt & to keep their relation top secret so that no one has minimum sniff, as she really loves her husband, her samsar, her children and this world to live. He can do what ever makes him pleased with her in absence of any persons when they are alone or some where else. She expressed again her gratitude again kissing on his lips.

 Debasis sucked her stained lips, stained tongue with strong tobacco smells[Jarda] and swallowed her saliva, as she did also on vice versa. Though she was enough obese, fatty and her skin lost most shininess, smooth ness, she had protuberant belly, her vagina totally engulfed his full erected phallus, hard like steel and lying on her spine, at bottom of Debasis, very affectionately but silently. Debasis gave satya a vivid description of intercourse, how his aunt responded with his foreplay to arouse her, and in his strokes and when she felt her orgasm again for Debasis, She whispered that she needed it further, at least once a month, if Debasis don’t mind doing it with her and enjoys it with her and is kind enough for her. She was really grateful to Debasis that he felt her feminism further , long years after and that she almost forgot it. She was ready to do all what debasis likes from her. Was it possible? Did it really happen? Do any sensible person can believe the story? I don’t think so. Society was not so progressive then at Sodepur. It was impossible and a simple fantasy by a very good brilliant boy and it was Debasis- naughty boy!

Female orgasm from the 19-56 years women is a near-universal physiological phenomenon, but most of Indian female ( 55% married bengalee women ,even female married doctors) still don't know all that much about it or had never felt it as their partner or they themselves are not aware of kegel exercise of love making in bed. It is exercise with clitoris from inside vaginal mucosa, tip of clitoris with pelvic muscles squeezing and simultaneous sucking nipple like a baby child. Every female orgasm is godly sense, pleasure and experience "The amount of speculation versus the actual data on both the function and value of female orgasm is remarkable, It is estimated that one in twenty five women in the metropolis /cities/town of middle class India has had difficulty in achieving orgasm in the long several past years, while between 25 and 10 percent of women are anorgasmic - unable to achieve orgasm at all and never felt any orgasm- though they became mother of children. This is high ridiculous as femimnine gender. And so women goes towards extramarital relationship from whom they get once pleasure of orgasm . But without precise data, to explain what happens during this experience, in the time course of moment of orgasm, and particularly when an area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex (PFC) becomes then highly active. The PFC is situated at the front of the brain and is involved in aspects of consciousness, such as self-evaluation and considering something from another person's perspective When in a study done by MRI by the team of same author of this novel and also Barry Komisaruk's team of New jursy at Rutgers University in NewYork, recently found heightened high level activation in the PFC during female climax - something not seen in previous studies of the orgasm and that a women who felt it once vigorously wants for several times again and again irrespective of her educational and social status and very easily can establish extramarital and forbidden relationship. With Fantasy & referential imaginary often reported as being part of the sexual experience, Komisaruk and colleagues wondered if the PFC might be playing a key role in creating a physiological response from imagination alone follow the same cycle with Kegel exercises - brief squeezes of the pelvic floor muscles - and then clitoral tip touches. Let us have an real experence of kate Sukel who herself took part in the experiment and she was mother of three child and who was a faculty in Gyeanocology and obstretics and Director of Kinsey institute of research on sex gender and reproduction in Bloomington, Indiana told in her paper published in world prestigue “New scientist “ I'm then asked by Komiisaruk team to self-stimulate towards orgasm, raising my free hand to indicate climax when I shall reach. Despite the unique situation, I am able to do so without too much trouble.Over 30 areas of my brain are activated in my married life, as I move from start to finish, including those involved in touch, memory, reward and even pain . As Komisaruk expected, the imagined clitoral touches and Kegel exercises by myself activated the same brain areas as real ones, albeit with somewhat less blood flow. The PFC, however, showed more activation when touches and pelvic squeezes were imagined compared with those that were real. He suggests this heightened activation may reflect imagination or fantasy, or perhaps some cognitive process that helps manage so called "top-down" control - the direct regulation by the brain of physiological functions - of our own pleasure. The team presented their results at the Society for Neuroscience annual conference in San Diego in November 2010. However, when Janniko Georgiadis at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, and colleagues, performed similar experiments they found that the same brain region "switched off" during orgasm. Specifically, they saw significant deactivation in an area of the PFC called the left orbitofrontal cortex (OFC). Georgiadis argued that the OFC may be the basis of sexual control - and perhaps only by letting go, so to speak, can orgasm be achieved. He suggested this deactivation may be the most telling example of an "altered state of consciousness" and one not seen, as yet, during any other type of activity. "I don't think orgasm turns off consciousness but it changes it," he said. "When you ask people how they perceive their orgasm, they describe simply a feeling of a loss of self control and finally a tremendous relief and sense of well being." Georgiadis suggested that perhaps orgasm offsets systems that usually dominate attention and behaviour. "I'm not sure if this altered state is necessary to achieve more pleasure or is just some side effect," he said. It is possible that the inability to let go and reach this altered state may be what prohibits individuals with anorgasmia from reaching climax. The orgasm is a strong analgesic for both man and women of any age. With brain-activation studies of orgasm showing unique patterns of activation in regions implicated in attention, self-awareness and consciousness, researchers believe its study may also help with the control of pain."Orgasm is a special case of consciousness," says Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University in Newark, New Jersey. "If we can look at different ways of inducing orgasm, we may better understand how we can use top-down processing to control what we physically feel."

People who suffer from chronic pain conditions can be coached to relieve some of their symptoms through such top-down techniques, says Kenneth Casey at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. That is, they can use high-level mental processes to modulate what they feel physically. "The placebo effect is an easy example of practical top-down control. You believe you are taking a pill that will help and somehow it does," he says. "In my experience, simply telling a patient that the pain they are experiencing is not harmful has an analgesic effect."

Debjani fell in love with Satya by three or four months, just like a calf. It was probably and no doubt one of the romantic ways to fall in love by a teen girl. But Satya was then till an immature guy to understand what a love is from a sixteen years old beautifully, matured ,upper middle class sensitive Girl .He was then however aware of only female sex stories from tells and fantasy of Debasis- sometimes reading sex magazine books “ Jiban and joyban” supplied by Debasis. Debsis told that he collected those books from his uncle’s house. There were many such books and his aunt read those books. Satya was then ignorant about love of a teen aged girl. Debjani also had other boy friends. They were from her own society, of her own class, might be her distant relatives or in close relation, who often came to Mr. Dutta’s house or with her mother. Satya’s mind was then totally political by Siddartha, Dipankarda, Chandan Da, Arunava Da, Mr. Gopal Das and believers of revolution by communist party or by guerrilla fighting by the comrades. Liken his father ”BholaBabu”, Mr. Gopal Das, V.A Lenin. Dr. Zivago, Chekhov, Fidel Castro, Roul Castro, Chi- Guevara, MAO –Se_ Tong; De- ji-Jiang, Norman Bethune, Dwarakanath kotnis was his idol. Mr. Gopal Das was a confirmed bachelor and Siddhartha always kept himself away from touches of female. He then liked to speak rather of Bolshevik revolution, French Revolution, Cuban Revolution, Peruvian Revolution, China’s Party, and how all these revolutions took place in reality and there stood

 a big partition wall, like wall of Berlin, between women’s love ,marriage and revolution in communism, unless the women was a herself comrade or a guerilla fighter, carried a revolver in her waist belt and or trained like MIR girls in Cuban revolution.. A good party worker or a saccha comrade should not be stained with abstract things like love, marriage; children to the communist or in a communist government or party friends and enemies must not mix together. More over Debjani belonged to the upper class and she was a class enemy- according to Siddhartha. Then how her father Mr. Dutta was accepted as a party member and considered as comrade? Satya could not understand that why women were de touched from the process of revolution by the party in Sodepur? Moreover Satya was afraid of his father “ Bhola Babu “ and he was very conscious of class divisions and caste divisions too, being a communist. Caste feeling was strong amongst the hindu refugees of Bankimpalli.  

Satya had science subjects with biology as additional fourth subjects and Debjani choice mechanics( to be a future engineer?) in the school. Another boy in Satya’s class, choice Mechanics as fourth subject . He was Tushar -who often stood either 2nd or 3rd and was promoted in class nine ranking 2nd in Satya’s class. Tushar belonged to very rich class and his father was chief Manger at Agarpara Jute mill, they had own 2nd floor Bungalow pattern house in Amarabati, had their own ford brown colored car and he had private tutor for most of his subject. Tushar had two very beautifully elder sisters studying either in colleges or in universities. Tushar often used to come to Debjani’s house and they were family friends. Debjani also stood second in her next class promotion in girls school in morning time. Satya was always topper in his class as usual. It was rather credit of ArunavaDa, Chandan Da, Satya always confessed. Neither Tushar, nor Dabjani had teaching from ArunavaDa or Chandan Da. Satya never shared his class notes or books with Debjani, though sometimes she wanted it. All were for is next brothers Tito and Pintoo who always scored highest in their respective classes then. However Satya shared his knowledge, his notes, discussed his study or whatever he read with Debasis, Bablu and Siddartha, often in the afternoon or in evening . Siddartha copied from his class notes and notes or mathematical solutions by Arunavada or Chandan Da and he ranked within ten in the class. Actually Siddhartha liked to work for his party organization much then for his study. His mama used to complain satya, if Siddhartha would concentrate a little more time for his class studies, he would be like Satya and Satya knew that much better then any one. What he did not know then that Siddhartha will be killed in a police encounter in his 21st birth day for the sake of revolution –revolution like drama and game in West Bengal by order of Mr. Guha neoygi.

Debjani in turn, did not also like Satya’s friends circle, especially Satya’s intimacy with Siddhartha- a slum refugee boy- and his political involvement with the left party. She was afraid of Naxals, Leninism, Maoism. She hated and criticized Marxism, Carl Marx, his Marxism theory. However she was ignorant of most preliminary or most elementary things of Marxism, Marx economics and politics and when ever Satya wanted to start a discussion on such topics, which he just digested either from Siddhartha or Mr. Das, about human sufferings in fascism, feudal societies, for the poor and poorest people, refugees in the tents or in thatched house, and how upper class and middle class, Rich class people utilizes badly the lower and poor socioeconomic class, their intelligence, labor, their knowledge and make profit out of them and incentives out of their exploitation or Mr.Das explanation of any topic in Das capital, she first pretend to listen him quietly and passionately for few minutes and invariably she in next moment managed to change his topic very quickly. She was rather fond of saying of traveling around by air either as aeronautical engineer or a pilot or an air hostess in aeroplanes, either in her imagination or in her dreams and she told herself a very simple upper middle class[she accepted her position before Satya, and of course she often said, was not responsible for her birth and bringing up in a fascist family according Siddhartha which were never under her control ) girl of leading her life with humble but in luxurious style with her future pilot or a doctor or an engineer handsome husband, her minimum required two children who will be studying abroad in USA or in UK- a good marriage, chastise honeymoon in Switzerland and a very good rich and happy couple. She had no idea what a revolution is or what it meant! Or what the young communist party (CPM) likes to do at Purbapalli village or at Sodepur or at West Bengal. She never read of Bolsheviks revolution, what was role of girls in that revolutions, china’s revolution, DauviousKy, Chekhov, Carl Marx, VA Lenin and in fact she was least interested about life history of Fidel Castro, Chi Guevara, Pablo Neruda, Norman Bethune, Dawrakanath Kotnis or Guerilla fighters and comrades in Cuba or in Peru. She did not like Siddhartha for all funny reasons, that he was dark complexioned skinned boy, because he was poor, because he lived in thatched house of colony area, because he read in Kerosene oil lamp, because his mother, his brother and sister does not know elitisms and speaking nice things of world and quarrel with neighbors in chita gang languages and moreover because he was a totally politicized brain and because he was not a snob like rich and upper class people. But why she loved Satya?- like all Bengali girls first love and whenever Satya asked her in future, several times she always said “…….. Yes …. I like everything of You”. Debjani used to tell him”… Why I like the best, is the way you talk with a girl—you adore my beauty… you are passionate….. you are handsome…… like your father “ and always it appeared before Satya so funny and original, because of her intonation and musical voice, was so different from other neighborhoods girls of Purbapalli and Amarabati or Bankimpalli, there and also because of her certain expression in her honey eyes words, saying that left probably many snob upper middle class neighborhoods of her society, of her relatives, her other boy friends that kept them in dark trying to guess what actually she meant for them. Debjani always spent her times saying things to guess what actually she meant them, with often double or triple meanings, asking them riddles or taking them jokes of kind- Satya’s friends Debasis, Bablu, Siddartha told him several occasions- to keep wide distance from her- as she may be trouble shooter for his career, They were against his mixing with her in her house, living them, out of jealousy and in fact that the left politics through out world did never allowed to come up or raise up girls as leader with intellect and if she is from upper strata. They were then in ten standard classes in their school, One afternoon, before Durga Puza, Debjani expressed her love. It was she herself, invited Satya at a cafeteria, newly opened that time, in west end of rail station of Sodepur- now a multiplex Shopping Plazas . Satya had not enough fund in his pocket to spend in that cafeteria bill. He was hesitant to go. But Debasis gave him inner courage “ coward!” he said “Are you not meant to be a boy?”. Debjani had always good amount money in her purse. It was then a most fashionable air conditioned restora cum cafeteria only for poss. class, elite class people and these couples booked their table. Cost of plate was too high. When Satya arrived there, after his school, in his school dress, watch man at gate looked at him as some unwanted boy and Debjani was already there at a table of colored glass with four fashionable chairs on the terrace, protected by a glass partition as cubicles, drinking a cup of ice cold coffee, dressed in costly yellow colored sari and matched blouse, with white sandal shoes. She looked herself like a model or a heroine of a cinema and her dress and interior situation changed her extraordinary lady. She ordered of honey cakes, cream puffs, cold ice creams, sherbet and pieces of costly pastry or pizza. Satya took a catch of glimpse on top of her round spongy breasts curvature, that were already pointing and was undoubtedly as firm and soft of young frits- Debasis told once, in his vivid description of sucking and snaking around his aunts areolas. After, a well dressed boy, delivered before them in beautifully designed china clay plates- Satya never had experience their tests on his test buds these items before, and he was simply novice to use spoons and in table manners[ these things were never taught in his school and such table manner customs of was not present in their poor family], Debjani suddenly murmured “ I ….love-you-….good boy” and she expressed her desired love, so suddenly and unexpectedly but very firmly that Satya felt suffocation , coughing and pizza in his mouth and throat spoiled the glass table cloth. Debjani allowed him to settles down and then offered him a glass of cold water before his lips and she whispering “ I have next birth day on 7th march- the next Friday, and I hope you have not got any thing planned for that evening—and so you are coming. We have thrown a party in that evening… You know I like yellow color. What special you like to see me in that evening?I will be sixteen in that evening… sweet sixteen? You know the song of Maria in Sounds of Music?”

--“ I hope pink color will also match you and marvelous” Satya took a deep breath and shook his head trying not to look at her eyes directly and in egger

--.” I want to live with you and love you!” she hesitated a moment and with a deep sigh she made a confession “ I finally ended up falling in love with you-… I tried my best to resist myself,—I know, you believe in class difference and there is a big wall in between you and myself… and it is not surely my fault that I was born in the upper middle class—your class enemy… forgive me.. It is to early for you also I know… as you are not yet a matured boy in that issue of life.. Not that good boy! You are also sixteen only”--“ But Debjani!............…

--“ Call me rather TuTu…. Tu…. Please” I like to listen myself in that name from my near and dearest”

_-“ OK! Tu Tu ! You know my family. We are refugees also! Our house! Our economy! A little house with the sweat of my Papa one room for my six brothers and another for sister and parents and I think you will not suit my family”.

__” You are son of your father. Your father and Gopal uncle is great. My father often discuss so always with my mama. I adore his works for refugee people. He is also a learned man and honest and I know every thing of you” she suddenly sketched his head gently and looked up Debjani expressed his love and was confirmed and steady of his acceptance. She holds his hand and stared at his eyes so deeply and passionately that Satya had nothing to utter further and he knew it well that Bhola Babu will not allow it at least for his good name as a communist party worker.Satya gradually became aloof from his close friends, Particularly from Siddhartha, who was against his mixing with Debjani and after returning home from school he and Debjani used to sit on rocking chairs of their big lawn inhaling sweet smells of jasmine and Rajanigandha, bell flowers. They often spoke about their School syllabus, physics, chemistry or mechanics. 

Debjani had a passion for chemistry. Some times Enna, her elder sister, also accompanied them. She knew about Debjani fell in love. Debjani also dragged her most time; they sat on their big veranda or on rocking chair in lawn. Enna was not at all uncomfortable being a third wheel, interfering with their making out or preventing Debjani from talking alone with Satya and telling him all pretty things in world she dreams, into his ears in whispering, even though, their conversation had to avoid certain more deeper subjects, Satya some times wished to tell her about her sex, about his friend Debasis, because Enna was present and Satya noticed how her curled hairs danced whenever she moved her head, the mischievousness of her eyes, the color of dark honey to her that way she had talking and at certain moments, at the low cut necklace of her close fitting blouses, to catch a glimpse of the top of those round spongy breasts like two small soccer balls . Enna’s presence often made it difficult for Debjani also to talk to Satya about the hidden sinful things she would have also liked to talk, about her inquisitiveness of man sex, phallus or orgasm and masturbation. There was no other ways, but she often had to steer their conversation towards insipid subjects, like her future plan for her next higher studies, as either an aeronautical engineer or a stewards or air hostess, her plan to travel world tour, or plan to go to USA for a science research scholarship in chemistry or perhaps to marry a rich man preferably a pilot or an engineer or a doctor and having maximum two children at least, after completion of her graduation or to plan to travel Europe for a little while or at least a movie star like her mama. Satya however had no such a plan for his near future. A boy, of sixteen of poor economy class family should not have any future plan. They depend on their destiny. So he had to listen everything with envy. Satya had actually no ideas about Europe or USA or Germany or Switzerland or France. He red something about Russia, Peru, Bolivia, Cuba and he was fond to see all those counties, if chance ever comes before him.

 Almost every afternoon, returning from school, Satya and Debjani used to spend their playing time on their Big Lawn. But sometimes, in summer or spring days, they liked to go to a corner of a lake [ it could not be truly a lake, but a large size natural pond in the midst of open field, belonged to Brazen Sammadar family as owner] overgrown with many jungle trees, palm trees, coconut trees, jungle flowers, karabi flowers trees, on their walking path, after returning back from school, when and if the sky was clear and blue and Debjani would and must swear before God the sky to be cloudless in all the summer days and sun shine on ground. Sitting near Ghat stairs{ of course not cemented Pakka Ghat] of that lake, they could see horizons of earth in curved space times and the rusty red colored disk in flames and flares, taking its leisure with blazing beams of fierily lights in the clean and cool water of pond. Debjani’s face then focused with the same flavor. She used to her red lips painted with costly lipsticks, tweezed eyebrows, and silky lined black eyelashes shading her mischievous eyes with black pencils. She used to wear a yellow colored costly sari with matched blouses exposing her upper third boobs and their in-between deep curvature in most provocative manner. Her gaze often fixed on the ,landscape incandescent ball of sun, awaiting the moment, when the last beam of it dropped and swallowed by the horizon, to formulate the wish that great planet of Sun Mercury would appear in the north sky, when Debjani would come more closer and one such evening she insisted Satya to be a little courageous to kiss on her lip like a strong and real man and to test spongy feeling on her blouse. She insisted Satya to love her more and more and not to be a cowardly good boy and she would be happy with that.

 Everything seemed to be going steady. Some of Satya’s friend, specially Siddhartha, Bablu. Biru and others and some of neighborhoods of Bankimpalli, began to speak amongst themselves badly of their free mixing Debjani, Enna and Satya- a son of Bhola Babu, because of their class, because of their style of living, because of their costly dresses, because of their brown ford car, because of their living style, often making fun amongst themselves and poking the people of Bankimpalli and even Satya and when Satya would try to defend him saying that those type of talk with the Dutta’s family was just envy, green envy and poisonous envy, they used to laugh with filthy meanings 

Neither Satya, nor for his brothers, nor for his sister ever celebrated a birth day or gave a gracious evening party and system of such celebrating one’s birthday or throwing evening party in that locality was almost non existent, except very occasionally in Big Sammadar family and it was mark of exhibition of one’s prosperity and wealth, [besides celebrating in community village, Rabindra Jayanti or Najurul Birth day or Indian national leaders birthdays] and Satya had no idea about the evening party Debjani invited him in 7th march, evening in their lawn. Why the neighborhoods did not threw any evening party in Purbapalli and Bankim palli? These were probably that they were ashamed to let others to see the poverty or modesty of their houses where they lived. The fact was that they were poor and embarrassed by everything they had in their houses, what upper middle section had in Purbapalli, Amaravati or HB Township could do so. 

Satya received a letter from Debjani, last evening. She handed it over and told him to read when he will be rather alone in house, addressing none, the letter was in sky blue coloured envelope engraved with a picture of heart pierced by an arrow in red pink colour. It was first letter From her . It was a Sunday morning, at the beginning of summer days in the calendar month that satya was siting on his old wooden chair (they had only two chairs and a big study table and desktop to keep his and tito’s books] in their two room houses. His poor ill mother was always busy cooking their foods, meals, tiffin etc in the kitchen. For her kitchen was the only world. She wore a dirty tethered sari and blouse. Her world kitchen and another room were made of fences with tally roof. There were many tents made of thick Tripple or of plastic or houses made of fencing with tally or tin roof, stretching across the banks of large ponds of Mr. Brazen Sammadar, in front of his house and those tents could be easily distinguishable from one another by their individual colours and hight. The roads in between tents were very narrow, kaccha, muddy, and most uneven even in the summer season. Each and every family made their own sanitation system surrounding a space with plastic or triple and digging shallow the earth. Satya was reading physics, hiding the letter within pages of the book, with one of his elbows propped on his desk.He was thinking about the party that family of Debjani threw on her birth day and Debjani invited him in the evening. Should he attain that evening party? In fact Satya was totally mismatched in the party of those elite class people there, neither he was fit nor he had good and exotic dress for such a party. He would be known as son of Bholababu there. He would be otherwise an alien in that party, as satya did never meet and knew other invitees. Another and most important thing was what signal would go to his next brothers, to his friends, to his colony people, to his friends, like Siddartha, tito Debasis, to Biru to Bablu, who all disliked his intimacy with Debjani as she belonged o a separate class. 

Satya opened the letter in a beautiful sky blue colored envelop with slow and a dreamy deliberateness and over the envelope she engraved his name in pink colored pen. Satya read letter. Her handwriting was not a good at all.It was her confession that she really fell in love with an insignificant boy of age sixteen, a first boy of class ten standard, knowing something about about his poverty and his socioeconomic class and when she belonged to a well to do family , for which she was not responsible. . In the letter Debjani wrote”…. I have now probably right to know all about your family…. Don’t misunderstand me….. In future we probably get our self married…. I hope your father will also probably agree one day that we are made for each other in heaven and we are soulmate…. And you are the kind of man who had upset my tranquil life…. And I can not cut myself into another pattern… your brothers, your sister, your mother will surely not be envy towards me as a member of your family and they will certainly not discontend me.

 With Debjani’s letter in hand Satya had been then sitting a long time on his study table in his room. His face turned to window grills at the refugee people tents, near vicinity to his house and towards tender green vegetables in their own front side courtyard two and half kathas dimensions, his father cultivated. He was thinking about Debjani and her first love and he could visualize his future metamorphosis- if he would accept her as his fiancé- an inevitable metamorphosis that would not be surely good for Bholababu’s other family members- even not for him too. At last he put the letter in his pocket, stepped out across small varanda to his parent’s room. His father Bholababu was busy at his Sunday works, his other two brothers’ Tito and pinto sat there with Bholababu with their respective books on a wooden choikee- satya saw that choikee- as he became a conscious child. Their bed and mattress was rolled on at a corner of a choikee and mattress was was very old and tithered here and there. Her sister Dahlia was then four years old thin and lin as a rickety girl on lap of his father. His mother was in the kitchen. His mother though ill in her health, anemic, had to do much labour for their cooking, though they ate scarely any thing delicious and costly. Some times she would kept asking his father Bholababu to fetch some essential items or cereal from a nearby shop or shop of siddartha’s father or co-operative of Mr. Das and he either did not answer or ordered his 4th son Jhantu to fetch that on loan basis. That probably determined his 4th brother’s fate always to carry order of elders of the house to bring something or marketing, to attain the huge line for ration shop or to fetch kerosene or for municipal taxes and he used to do all these without any kind of protest. Bholababu opend a khata to purchase essential items and he always kept account of even minor expenditure of his family. He used to pay up Loan in first week of every month after he had his monthly salaries from his Calcutta office and to bring those essential shopping items he ordered the cooperative shop owner with signature. He must then verify his signature before delivering those items and when he is outside home the Signature of his wife or of Satya and there was significant role of satya in the family after Bholababu.

 The room of Satya’s parents was however dark, unless it is a sunny morning and day. Moreover, their room was overshadowed by the high coconut, bittle nut trees, neem trees Papaya trees, and siuli flowers trees, Bholababu planted himself by his own hand across the three windows and boundary wall of Mr. Brazen Sammadar and a much narrower kwacha road in between two small windows

 In the summer time moreover only it was hot also. They had no electricity and so no ceiling fan or table fan. Bholababu was sitting by the windows in the corner end of a chouki, reading news papers and his next two brothers Tito and Pinto was listening him,sister dahlia was playing on his lap 

Ah! Satya “ said his father Bholababu, ….”Can you read the News paper for me and make a précis for me from the editorial?” He was reading “The States man” Bholababu wore a lunge and a cheep fatua on his lean and thin chest “My father may be a giant figure here in Sodepur” Satya said to himself and he will not certainly accept Debjani as styas’s fiancé and future life partner, unless Mr. Gopal Das accept her and advice him to do so and there was a distinct class division amongst them. 

Satya said a little aloud-“It is too dark in the room “ How do you read here?

 _“yes it may be. But many people do not have a roof in rain and you have that- look around, they lives in tents “ are you not in a better position ?” Satya sat beside him and took the news paper

 The politicians are dependent on the journalists. But on whom the journalists are dependent? Surely on those who plays them and those who pay them are the advertising agencies that buy space from news paper, At first glance it may seem that agencies will un hesitatingly approach all the high circulation news papers like Ananda bazaar, States man, Basumati, jugantor who are capable to sell and advertise their products. Look at the communist country of Soviet Union. Millions and millions of pictures of Lenin displayed everywhere, in every newspaper and does this indicate any love for Lenin by people? Similarly in West Bengal, Pictures of CM Mr. Ray and PM Indira. Communist party has long forgotten the practical goal of their activity i.e. to make the communist system a better linking system – a better liaison system in Russia. They have created their own languages, their own formula ,their esthetes, their idea of right life style which they cultivate, disseminate and force open their unfortunate people in soviet union- Satya did the précis from an editorial article written in the stateman-1972

 Bholababu corrected his writing, and smiled at him with sense of his great satisfaction and extreme pride as father of such a son. His dream may come out true one day – he foresighted - Satya to become a future politician for the state at least- a minister post

_ “I came to ask you and your favor “Satya went on “I like to attain birth day party of Debjani… and she is now my friend… just a friend… you must not be worried about me”

_ “who is Debjani?” Bholababu stared at Satya with sign of his inner rage. When he is in a rage that floods his entire body- a river of lava raises in his brain, which seems to be flashed on his face. He closed his eyes and counted ten. He knows rage was bad for a party chief organizer, for government, for his heart, it may give him a coronary. He always knew how to control his anger and smile in spite his rage

Bola Babul remained silent. He could fore see metamorphosis of Satya? He opened his eyes staring deeply at satya with his two X- ray eyes. He has big shining eyes that could see inner of you almost naked

 Satya then gargled “I hope Mr. Dutta and family invited you all party members?

_No! So far I know he did not except Gopal das as councilor in chief “he closed his eyes again and politely answered “O. K you will go. But remember – A great wall of Berlin- I hope you know the wall, in between them and us. The wall now exists and will also exist in future- I hope you understand me my son!”

 Satya nodded his head, he understood that very well. It was the most delightful moment for Satya of that day he came closer to his father. “ I never attended any Parry. What gift should I take for her? What dress should I wear? “He knelt down beside his father. Bholababu saw him with his large pupils staring at him fixedly from the corners of his eyes and answered “ I would advise you to gift her Pablo- Neruda’s “Twenty poems of Love” or Earnest Hemingway” or Boris Pasternayek’ --- All are in my Suitcase— You can choose any one Oh Yes! Take Pinto as your companion” What massage Bholababu wanted to give Mr. Datta and Debjani with those books? “They are class enemies, in spite party member and lover of a true communist’s son?

Satya and his brother Pinto attended the party in night 8PM. It was a glorious and a remarkable birth day party no doubt. Their lawn was beautifully decorated with colored green, red, pink yellow Philips/ Bengal bulbs. All guests were wearing English suits with either jacket or brown or black or white colored suit in summer days and tie with their satisfactions There were queue of few Mercedes Benz’s, cad illus , manicottis, ambassadors, fiats and fords cars outside the gate on the streets and people were sitting on tables on corridor or lawn hunched over greasy paper plates. The main house was however dark. The chief members of the party was Mr. and Mrs. Dutta. No one was there at the gate to receive them. It was gate of a big house in purbapalli village. Satya could not understand whether to knock on the Iron Gate with calling bell or not. A few hundred paces further on along middy road which here turned on right side began purbapalli village. Pinto would enter the house for first. He was a little bit afraid. Debjani was wearing pink yellow dress with almost transparent lace top over her shoulder- the crescent of her petticoat showed under it from the lower edge of which the silk hung down in a beautifully cut ruffle. Satya felt shaky and felt condemned at entrance gate, when he found Mr. Dutta busy to talk with an military dressed officer like man, and when saw them stepped slowly to him “TU U is there…” He pointed at a gathering of ten girls and ladies, where she was like a princess. You can go straight in….”He told. Satya heard a sound in his mouth that sound him snapping of his teeth

 Thanks… uncle dutta” Debjani invited me today…” he gurgled

 I know” Mr. Dutta turned his back towards the officer like man to entertain

 Satya and Pinto stepped in almost like two invisible passerby, with shame that suddenly caught hold of him as most unmatched companion and invitee in a confusing dress for that birthday party. They had nothing better. .All invitee gathered in small groups of three or four around the tables. The lawn was flooded with beautifully green dim night lightening. English music of beethoven or ravisankar from a gramophone. Bishawnath came forward. He was dressed rather in Punjabi and pajama and satya handed over the “Publo neruda’s Twenty poems of Love” gift for debjani- Bholababu himself choice for her birth day gift.- on the page inside Bholababu himself name of debjani.

 Please take a seat’” Biswanath asked satya and Pinto drawing three cane chairs out from amongst a heap of them and offering them and both could not refuse him. They were sitting at the edge of a pit. The pit was for some time in their lawn. Some excavated soil piled up there in the rampart. Satya did not find any persons fro the CPM organization or from Bankimpalli or purbapalli. Biswanath also sat with them. He was then yet a stranger before satya and Pinto. He was probably of same age of Pintoo. Satya terribly expecting Debjani or Enna. But by the time she disappeared some where. Satya smiled at Bishu- He returned back his posh smile ‘I heard many things about you from Bardi and didi bhai” Satya looked at their houses. The house around satya at once took a share of his silence and the darkness over him all the way up to the stars to the muddy roads and darkness all over the village in ward no-17, beside this lawn, satya began to eel within himself why his father Bholababu choiced Pabo nerudas for the family. It was a show of their prosperity- the feudal custom – satya felt it for the first time.

 -“He has come” probably Enna exclaimed before Debbjani suddenly pointing towards them

-“He must come”Debjani immediately replied with some impatients? Why wont you believe me? He will come////

 Despite the actual size and areas of the villages Purbapalli, Bankimpalli of sodepur which was then less densely populated per square foot, in 1970s of several thousands only, most of the people usually in Bankimpalli Natagarh and its adjacent localities were descendent from the first settlers, who arrived probably during 1941’s man made famine and others had come in gradual successive waves like, after partition of the subcontinent of India in 1947 and Satya was then in womb of future to take his birth in march 1957- almost ten(10) years later, and most others came after the Bangladesh War in 1971 there. Many had even come more recently and as a result the nearby lands were forcibly deforested, bushes of jungles were cut, and Ponds were selled, many … Coconut …. Palm …. Banana …..trees Jam trees Bell trees flower lost and development process as cosmopolitan character started probably as natural course and on usual pressure as the later descendents came from greater or kolkata for easy train communication from sealdah by 35 minutes time. Gradually as a result of pressure and density of descendent population from kolkata middle class in this village was increasing in such an increasing flow, that no patch of cultivating and fertile land allowed lie fall as it was. All were sold. The green fields, Ponds, large ponds, Lakes, Low lands, play grounds that actually qualified Bankimpalli and Purbapalli as a village character gradually started to be dotted away with growing clusters of allowed brick built houses and so called cosmopolitan middle Burzoas class from kolkata(1974- 2000]. The most of the roads inside the village though remained uneven muddy kaccha roads with many pit holes , the main road of Purbapalli to station road became Pakka peached by the municipality. The transport system for common, except for few rich class people was then either many cycle vans or a bicycle trolly with a square platform mounted behind the drivers saddle or a rickshaw were the usual vehicle for the people of Bankimpalli and purbapalli stood in queue at rail way gate of sodepur station to go any where at sodepur. The refugee people were given this kinds of van Rickshaws and Paddle Rickshaw – licencesd at municipality as an heartfelt effort of Mr. Bholababu, Binay uncle, Mr Gopal Das, Mr Gopal Bhattacharya from the Panihati municipality. A Private Petrol run Bus service (private Bus No 78E or 78 B)- a very few numbers however ,used to move from shyambazar choumatha more to Natagarh or Ghola Bazar and 78 to Barackpore over BT road. The cycle vans were most abundant vehicles there and it was livelihood of most refugees of Purbapalli, Bankimpalli. Gradually. many people like Naryan uncle’s family started to sell fishes or to seat in near by natagarh market as very small traders to earn. Some started business as agents of Insurance company- then started in 1972s “The peerless Insurance company- as a cheat fund then or in LIC or in Post office various fixed deposit agents”. Some were absorbed in the mills and near by industries. Some utilized there education for services in government and private sectors. But majority remained unemployed and in poverty. Cycle van then was usual vehicle to go to station. The platform seemed to carry luggage and live stalks as well as passengers, who used to seat on it either well their both legs folded or their feet along with over the edge since the platforms were flat, where no handle holds passengers had to cling on best they could, when the vehicle hilted bumps or pit holes of uneven kwacha roads, they locked their arms to hold each other. Bankim Palli and Purbapalli, Amarabati changed a rapid change and at that time at a first glance no difference then thousands of other distant villages especially in the refugee areas- the Purbapalli People used the term “colony area”- [the term came probably from sudden colonization] a highly packed settlements of palm thatched huts and bamboo walled stalls, doors and one or two windows and shakes without any electricity and when evening rolled on at at night up to 10 PM, kerosene lamps or chimney lanterns lights in most palm thatched house, plastic tents and newly brick built houses. The concept of outer wall plastering was not nor the concept of present flat or apartments. At the center of village within a short walking distance from Satya’s house in the Village there was a maiden or open green field space, not quite a Geometrical enough to be termed as a real Square- AT ONE EAST END OF THE FIELD THERE WERE THREE OR FOUR HOUSES- ONE OF WHICGWAS OF TARASANKAR- WHO WERE NOT HOWEVER MIGRANT OF Bangladesh- but was peasants in character, whose one of uncle- was unmarried used to dress in very cheap gauche or lunge- was a CPIM party member and friends of Bhola Babu till last day Bholababu took his last breath. He was the person who was in touch with Bholababu till his last days and used to spend some hours every day with him. . A little walking distant of Purbapalli Khelar Math, there developed a club house “named Purbapalli club, where van rickshaw and rickshaw stand was done and a fixed rate chart was hanged there to go to different areas... The newly formed party started a primary school for the poor class and refugee peoples mainly. It was then fencing school. The teachers were appointed the married or unmarried women from purbapalli with minimum wages. The tuition fees was very minimum and was in day time (10 Am- 4 PM) Satya’s last three brothers started their first education in that school. During afternoon and evening hors it turned into a Purbapalli club and Jim. Jhantu admitted there for body building some time in his teen age. Satya’s father Bholababu was 2nd secretary of that school and also kept an account. The first was Parimal chakraborty... The school was named then “Purbapalli Academy school and later it had its accreditation to board of primary education of Government and of Panihati Municipality, inspectors of primary school used to visit the school to maintain its standard. Till this date school is primary from nursery class to class four and Ritwiks daughter and satya’s nephews studied there.

Let me tell you the history of gradual development of village of Purbapalli and Bankimpalli. In 1971s, in the refugee camps, slum thatched houses there was almost epidemic of diarrhea , gastroenteritis, cholera in almost every years just after rainy seasons or in summer time, death rate, specially of infants, Childs and old aged rate was very high. At that time in Panihati primary health centers, and in nearby Bandipur primary health centers almost all beds, floor were occupied with such patients of cholera or diarrhea or gastroenteritis from either E.coli or shigellosis infections., Bholababu, satya’s brothers Jhantu or pintu had to open accompany in the panihati smasan ghat often and at that time there was no electric furnace chamber. Dead corpse was burnt with woods there. Major death was from Bankim palli- refugee peoples. They were illiterate, slum dwellers unemployed or self employed living either in palm thatched houses with bamboo stalled walls in most of them. Some had started brick built houses with tin or tally roof. In rainy seasons there was stagnation of water from over flowing of ponds.Mr. Gopal das was elected as councilor in chief in 1972 from wards no 17, 18 and 20. Some thing had to be done. The election manifesto of CPIM was for electricity in all houses and roads, Pokka roads, drinking pure water supply through deep tube well through municipality and sanitation. But how was it possible for such a large areas for about few thousands populations in village of Purbapalli and Bankimpalli. Or for whole sodepur. Every week the issue came up in main discussion. The municipality had limited resources hen.

 In fact it was Siddartha, Debasis, Bablu, Bappa, whose vision brought out a temporary solution and was in fact very effective solution. In a meeting of the party, they were invited by Mr. Gopal das. Siddartha placed the proposal through his old father. It was a story of first real attempt of development of village and community- especially of Bankim palli, Natagarh, Ghola Bazaar & Purbapalli. The story was like this-

 Purbaplli, Bankim palli had many large ponds owned by Mr. Sammadar’s family. They used to cultivate fishes there and sold in the distant market. Siddartha proposed that to arrange supply of pure water drinking water in every houses of village of Bankimpalli and poor people of Purbapllai, who do not have deep tube well. At Bankimpalli there was a large lake like pond of Mr. Sammadar. That pond was used by refugee people for every thing including drinking water. They first fenced the water lake and ensured restriction of entry of people for use of bath, washing of cloths and utensils. The municipality took responsibility to bleach the water of pond with bleaching powder that liberated chlorine. They covered the pond as source of large tank receiver of rain water too. The municipality arranged pipe line to every thatched houses and tents and in every houses of Bankimpalli, purbapalli and Natagarh who had no deep tubel.- It was probably the first concept of purified water supply from a tank receiver system- what was in fact proposed first by siddhartha and party members was though hesitant about the real result of such a plan, they implemented it. They used to collect from every house hold then rupees ten from every family who were able to provide it, quarterly to purchase bleaching powder and to keep the water cleaned. The water was pumped through pipe line in every hours in morning and evening fixed hours. The panihati municipality installed iron made pipe and to construct temporary lavatories for every houses> they at same time installed hand pulled deep tubel too. But it was troublesome for female members to bring drinking water from a good distance, The first objection came from the upper middle lass,educated class of the village purbapalli and also from some refugee people. They had a strong objection. How would they drink the same water what the low cast people,poor .slum refugee people do collect and drink. More over upper middle class people had their own deep tubel or well preserved deep well for their water need. Then the question raised for some upper class, upper cast,whole village will suffer? People will die of cholera, typhoid and gastroenteritis?. BHolababu and MR. Das had also cast feeling of Brahmin and belonged to upper cast. They could not first resolved such an important issues. Municipality had some other proposals. New TABC cholera vaccine was then discovered along with sabin polio vaccine and was in mass scale field trial. They proposed to vaccinate all child,old young people of the village with TABC vaccine supplied at free cost by WHO and UNICEF. But what would happen during the period to immunity to develop. No body was sure of developing immunity.Siddhartha ans Saty’s friend stood first for a silent revolution. They told there must not be any option. They and cPIM party sticked on the proposals. Mr sammadar agreed not to culture fish and breed fish in that large pond. The people agreed municipality to put iron pipe line along the drainage system. The first pipe line came in Saty;as house. The decision came those people agreed to decision they will get water, The other from the deep tubes,though they had differences of opinion had to agree- gradally by months and finally in all refugee areas,slum areas in all houses of the village. It took time 1972-74. The whole area changed a lot. NO further outbreak of cholera though sporadic gastroenteritis and typhoid persisted and was reported bt the local physician DR, KartikGupta.. Incidence of diarrhea and cost of expenditure for this fell a lot. This pond was maintained by people of Bankimpalli and days a major source of drinking water dor a large section of people of that area. IT is known popularly as “ Badhano Pukur”

 The very proposal of siddhartha as a revolutionist opened the eyes of the local municipal government councilors,that if the local municipality,local government can supply the purified water, can keep the local ponds cleaned and spread bleaching,only the outbreak of cholera, typhoid,gastroenteritis could be prevented. This was the real fact, The WHO in 20 th century reported the same,that if you have supply of pure fresh drinking water with simple chlorination and proper sanitation and sewage disposals,the death rate particularly of infants, child,old and adolescence young population can be highly reduced and even can be zero. The next attempt of MR Gopal das and Bhlababu, tinkari babu was to vaccinate every people of ward no 17,18,20 of Bankimpalli, Natagarh whee diarrhea,GE ,cholera and typhoid was rampment along with tuberculosis to vaccinate with TABC{ Typhoid,paratyphoid,cholera cvaccine] and for  BCG and for polio salk vaccine. The vaccine was very much painful for next 7 days and was not without complication like high fever, severe body ache,local tenderness, swelling and even death from anaphylactic shock. And at first people refused and was afraid to accept those vaccine. It was again Gopal das, chitta saha and their party members who called satya and his friends particularly siddhu. Siddartha hen was almost famous and known reformer with his new assistant dilipda. The party members ,including Gopal Bhattacharya, mr Amitava nandi all were egger to have a decision from him. Siddartha threw a proposal before them as experimental one. Before a vaccine camp, each sunday from 11 AM-5Pm it was announced that 2kg rice and Dal will be supplied to the family if he family brings the baby or their child to vaccinate BCG,polio and TABC and if the family complete the schedule vaccination,then municipality will give copper made plate,glass,spoon. Satya;s family got such coopermade glass plates, pot. The result came immediately. The vaccination programmed became successful

The development and evolutionary decisions for benefits of refugees people health do never require knowledge of very high tech, higher education sophisticated of medical technology ,but simple knowledge of different kinds of problems the poor people, the refugee people do faces and suffer daily and an organized sectors works and involvement of local governments for their permanent shelter, land and food what the local CPIM party did with leadership of Bholababu, Gopal Das, Chitta saha, and many others and they also accepted brain of younger and teen aged Siddartha- who himself was a part of refugees. The main problem of refugees, poor class, slum dwellers what Siddhartha did felt that time around his surroundings- within their tents were hunger, joblessness, inability to perform labor for ill health, aliments those kill them, dearth of preventive education and insecurity at large in foreign lands. He knew how these people did live, how they fights to live and how to help their fight to live. The very little, but very important knowledge- you are/you will be never taught in your schooling, your college, in your university, or in your research field or lab. Satya today bows his head before his late friend Siddhartha at least to save thousands of peoples life of Bankimpalli, village purbapalli with his knowledge that he gained from his surroundings-what Mr. Gopal Das correctly used to tell “learn and invent from your surroundings sufferings”- What Satya knows today after being MD, FIC path, FNASC, as a world repute scientists and member of the prestigious Royal Swedish Academy- and satya repeats the same – Siddhartha (siidhu) told it when he was student of class X1 only . In memory of Siddhartha, Panihati municipality today named the local Area (Para) of Siddhartha as Siddhartha nagar- in short-the people call it siddhupara. If Siddhartha would alive these days Satya would send his name for the “Nobel Prize in Medicine or in peace” of course other names he would surely send his father “ late Mr. Bholanath Bhattacharya(late Bholababu] and late Mr.Gopal Das- but alas! Nobel committee stopped posthumous prizes since 1972 ]- why would he nominate these fellows name before Norwegian committee? The communist did not believe in Nobel Peace Prize – why Satya would give these fellows such a great and highest honor of the planet, leaving beside more then 190 international peace foundations organization through out world who are working for international Peace against war and other international Peace workers? From the very beginning the Norwegian Nobel Committee choose to define any humanitarian efforts even in a family, as an essential part of fraternity amongst the nations the committee focused on a basic aspect of the very word "humanitarian" helping victims, the poor, hunger of evicted refugees of any war between nations, states, was classified as crucial in order to improve the lives of mankind and reduce suffering of the refugees and slum dwellers. Dear readers look and consider acts of Mr. Bholababu, Mr. Gopal Das and their CPIM team works at Sodepur Purbapalli and Bankim Palli, Natagarh Village. Critically do Postmortem at Siddhartha’s work. He brought a real great revolution as preventive medicine- though he did not study Preventive medicine then. He showed us that what should the way to think to prevent world wide poverty and crisis. He reminded us that poor people must have their own kinds of economy, treatment and teachings directly from nature to live their life and has their own price to lead their life in their own style [style appears very important everywhere] and that economics is a very very strong economics to fight against for a revolution. Let me remind you my readers in this very context , about a peculiar fact, I know it today as a community member of Nobel Peace prize forum-Oslo, that the then a Norwegian Minister Mr. Halvdan Koht who in fact acted as a nominator for a field person worker Mr. Fridtjof Nansen, ultimately to become the “Nobel Peace Laureate” of 1922 after a long fight. Fridtjof Nansen who was not at all a educated person was a field agriculture worker in Russia and his team organized relief works during the 1921 famine that flooded through the Soviet Union, and the following years he won the Peace Nobel prize- he was appointed by the then Bolsheviks government as chief Commissioner for the Refugees in Russia by the Bolsheviks party of Soviet union, a position, in which he had no other option but to sacrifice his entire family’s members love, tenderness, interest , he used most of his energy, time on resettling Greeks and Turks poor refugees after the Greco-Turkish War, who came in a villages of soviet union as War evicted refugees, slums, street vagabonds. Russians however did not believe in Nobel Prize –as it was bourgeois and capitalists and old-fashioned prizes they used to tell. From 1925(He was then already Nobel Peace owner] Nansen continued work to fight to secure homes for homeless, those living in tents and thatched houses [similar as it was in Bankiimpalli, Niagara areas of Sodepur, the displaced refugees of Indo Bangladesh war people lived] and lands for landless for Turkish Armenians inside that village of Soviet Union, as similar works Satya’s father Bholababu, Mr Gopal Das, Siddhartha and many others did in Purbapalli and Bankiimpalli in 1971s. The Bolshevik government rather wanted to see the end of League of Nations' aids to Russian refugees, particularly because many of them were then taking part in anti-Soviet activities. At the same time, the Nobel Committee hoped that the 1938 Nobel peace prize would strengthen the shattered image of the League of Nations. In a time of crisis, many people had lost faith in Nansen’s organisation because of its inability to prevent war and to create peace. Therefore it was necessary to focus on the humanitarian work done by Nansen and his team. After 1922, peace Nobel Prize to Fridtjof Nansen, during its first years, the Nansen’s party organized an Office focused its aid effort on a people for whom Nansen had particular concern and those people who surrendered before him: the Armenians refugees. The Nansen colleagues and friends organized the construction of villages to house more than 4,000 Armenians in Syria and Lebanon and resettled another 10,000 in Ervin in the Soviet Union. In the middle of the 1930s it handled refugee cases mostly from France, Syria, Yugoslavia, Greece, Germany and Bulgaria. Others were from Czechoslovakia, Turkey, Romania, Switzerland and China. A wide range of relief measures including medical relief were implemented there: office representatives issued documents of identification for stateless refugees (It was then probably called "Hansen passports"), arranged visas and appealed expulsions. They also handled tax-issues, procured housing and employment, gave loans to small tradesmen [a kind of microeconomics- Bholababu and Gopal Das used to belief- co-operative system concept], traced missing persons and helped supply food and medicine to the sick and the elderly. In 1933, the organization was a driving force in hammering out the Refugee Convention of the League of Nations. Governments that signed were obliged not to expel refugees as long as they did not represent a threat to national security or to the general public order. His work was carried on by the Nansen International Office for Refugees, an institution founded in 1930 by the League of Nations and rewarded further with the Nobel Peace Prize of 1938.Humanitarianism thus demanded and awarded several Peace Nobel prize like The British Friends Service Council and the American Friends Service Committee, both aid organizations and Quakers who fights against intolerance and social injustice which were looked upon as major roots of war, unrest, injustice; an attitude which explains the broad and industrious Quakers engagement for social and political reforms and revolution .They are also in the frontline in the struggle against slavery, feudalism, capitalism, privatization and in the fight for human survival rights[ Do Indian have today constitutional primary Right to live?, Right to have food?; Right to have a good house? Right to have university level education? Right for his/her health and Right for Job? Both Constitutionally & lawfully? But India is the 2nd largest Democratic country! Does not Democracy give all these Rights to a man and woman ? Who cares Right for poor people, Proletariat people? Beggar people? Labor class people?]. In the early nineteenth century they helped found the first peace societies, and after that Quakers were instrumental in the development of the modern peace movement. Such an Australian, Albert Schweitzer was such a revolutionist Quakers who dedicated his life for humanitarian work treating malaria, leprosy, dysentery, cholera, venereal disease, sleeping sickness in Africa and increased awareness bonding between local government hospitals and local people and he was awarded Nobel Peace Prize for 1952, the Nobel Committee especially appreciated his cultural philosophy, as "Reverence for Life", which served as an ethical principle for his humanitarian efforts. In his view the individual must constantly look beyond all that knowledge and science have created and penetrate to the elementary: The free human being seeks the joy of being allowed to care for life and avert suffering and destruction. In 1958, George piere received the Nobel Peace prize for working amongst the European refugees and anti colonialism and anti capitalism. Capitalism is shouldered by colonialism. Capitalists, Pseudo capitalists, Feudalists persons/family/ Society/ State/ Country is thus colonial and that must be banded, must be vanished from this world to establish peace, humanitarianism 

[This picture shows about refugees’ mother and children waiting for food and a shelter (taken from www.nobelprize.org) 

 [People who came from East Pakistan now Bangladesh during Indo Pakistan war used to live like this tents in Bankiimpalli and Purbapalli & these tents were in 1970s besides Satya’s house at end of Purbapalli in Lands owned by Mr Brazen Sammadar and his family] 

But why did Mikhail Gorbachev had won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1990? A startling Question indeed! Actually his prize acceptance was associated with strong Criticism, scepticism, embarrassment and huge fury in wide circles within the Communist society of the whole world and amongst the Soviet Communist Party too. According to a secret report, from the former Soviet Union's Committee for State Security, KGB, Gorbachev's receipt of the award was rather assessed negatively by a majority of the Soviet population then. It is now clear that Gorbachev's decision to postpone his visit to Oslo in order to receive the Prize and give his Nobel Lecture was, indeed, influenced by this generally negative reaction towards Soviet communism society . Most likely, the Bolshevik movement leaders were rather indifferent towards the Nobel Prizes.- The fruit is always sour! First of all, the very idea of handing out a Nobel gold medal and loads of money to any peace activists, revolutionist was in all likeness, was then considered high level bourgeois and capitalists and old-fashioned. After all, Alfred Nobel, the donator of the prizes, had belonged to a family of wealthy capitalists with close ties to the Tsar and the nobility of the Russian l'ancient regime. rAther the communist society believed in International Stalin Prize[American black singer Paul Robeson and Chilean poet-playwright Pablo Neruda] among and Gorky Prize for literature, the arts, science and peace, for the people who "contribute to the struggle for real humanism and civilization and Lenin Award

                

It was about a long year after Debjani left me ( because of caste, economic and status difference) and she choose to marry our common school & class mate Tushar ( he however belonged to rich class family in Amarabati area of Sodepur & was her college class mate with chemistry honors in Presidency college in 1973 batch) I was then in fourth year MBBS class of The Medical college, kolkata with merit scholarships of Rs 75/= per month ( however paid once a year from cash section of principal office ] and university medals in all three subjects like Pathology( I was class Assistant and it was so expected), Forensic and state Medicine and in Pharmacology-curiously I was sometimes honored with university medals], though I had not done enough preparation for my mental turmoil; emotional imbalance and familial disturbances like that my mother’s often psychiatric illness ( it was very difficult to manage a psychotic women with schizophrenic mood disorder in a poverty laden economic burden for a boy of 18 years) and our mom was suddenly detected to have diabetes mellitus in 1976 ,admitted in the Medical college hospital brought by myself with high fasting and post brandial venous blood glucose level and almost in pre diabetic coma and she was immediately admitted at Medical college in free bed through emergency under Professor of internal medicine. She was finally diagnosed with brittle Type diabetes then which terms today as Malnutrition related diabetes mellitus(MRDM) under type II classification leading to Fibro calculus pancreatitis and loss of Beta cells of Pancreas organ. At that time much was not known about this type of Diabetes and Diabetes was classified as primary or secondary and under “primary” there was insulin dependent type called IDM and non insulin dependent NIDM. The MRDM or FCPD or MODY was not much Known & treatment was lentilPork insulin and with sulfonylurea drugs as oral hypoglycemic agent and a strict diet chart. The treatment cost so resulted another burden in the economics of Bholababu’s family along with my hostel and various tuition cost. She was prescribed as per protocol therapy lentil pork insulin with sulfonylurea drugs tolbutamide- available in the market under brand name “Rastinon” tablet with a diet chart. She needed also every month to check up for her blood sugar level and there was not a single diagnostic laboratory in Sodepur then, no glucometer or glucose oxidase strip was also available in the market in India to measure her blood. She was taught how to take insulin self under her skin. I used to remain anxious for her hypoglycemia suddenly she may develop- advised me from senior house physician of unit of Prof. Sengupta, who liked me and was of same political soldier MCDSA students union and he often gave me physician samples of lenti Insulin some times ultra lenti pork Insulin and Rastinon tablets to reduce our financial burden for her medicine. So I had to go home almost every weekend to draw her blood fasting and postprandial and to test a biochemistry laboratory of Medical college kolkata. and how she is physically and mentally. 

Debjani used to come to my hostel room at “Seal mansion” at college street , and I had to offer her enough time in the college square ,or in the coffee house or at Mouchak restaurant terrace , some times at after noon show of cinema hall Purabe or Prachi near sealdah station with the dress circle ticket before her sudden marriage with Tushar, of course every time paying bills from her purse. She knew it well that I had no financial capacity to pay bills amount from my pocket. And I never felt any shyness for it. I had little knowledge or even I could sniff at all that she also maintains a parallel court ship with Tushar – our school & class mate. Tushar stayed at Hindu hostel behind Calcutta University and she also spent time with Tushar in his room. She never disclosed it before me even by a mistake. I had then a very good amount of leisure and free time in the evening hours, I admitted myself in French language classes in the Presidency College. Why did I choice then to learn French languages was never much explainable to me but probably thinking so that I can translate from that languages the best one day. I usually attain my French class in Presidency College of College Street, opposite to hare David school, two days a week from 4PM to 6 PM, after my college hours& students union works. Basu often used to be waiting for me at entrance stair case of humanities building of that college and sometimes Basu was accompanied with a tar dark skinned boy “Pravash”. I was always backbencher in all my classroom, so that I can quit off my classes as and when I felt bored and saw Basu waiting near staircase, through the back exit doors. Pravash was a tall pitch black colored young with light ebony skin, a slimy boy with most silly kinds of smile of idiotic nature on his thick lips that displayed him some time before me some kinds of magnificent hidden things within himself. When just, I discovered, as he started arguing with us about the state politics in college or university students union forum, specially on leftist politics, Carl Marx , about Naxalism, it’s idealism, functions, organization and negative fate of such an revolution which is not supported by the mass ,with critics ,and its possible fate of a dream for proletariat revolution by farmers and few intellectuals. I found much similarity with this boy with my friend Sidhu, with Swaroopda- four years senior to me- a founder member of Democratic Students Association (DSA) in 1975 at Medical colleges, defeating the long ways of Chatraparishad (CP) of nationalized congress party and surprisingly DSA came in students union power of all Medical colleges of Kolkata, Presidency college, Scottish church college; Maulana –Azad college, Vidyasagar college St pauls college; all Engineering colleges and gradually spread in almost all colleges in kolkata and greater suburban. Swaroopda, Pabitrada, Jiban Da, Avijit, Ranabir (a guy who always carried portrait of Carl Marx or Lenin in his axilla) Sibuda, Punyabrata Guin, Saibal Suresh- they were leader of Medical college unit DSA student forum of CPIML party- the naxalites. Swaroopda was highly intelligent enough-a son of a School teacher, capable of becoming involved in impassioned dialogues, discussions, arguments on literature, arts, and sports, besides his depth of bedside clinical knowledge on medicine and students politics. He was a good organizer and known to all teachers and doins of Medical College and had tremendous popularity amongst medicos. He did his house job in Chest Medicine. Pravash most of the time remained however mum like an imbecile personality (we called such personality as B.C on abbreviation - of a dirty Bengalese word). I was however very much assured there was something else in his being that communicated his entrustment, his idealism, his generosity and his sticky sense of justice towards socio economically oppressed people that used to guide his life. I had also the suspicion and strong suspension that how much information, how he could gather about leftist and everything of life which often exceeded than myself, even Swarropda, jibanda, Ranabir, Arunaloke, Avijit, Tapan, Saibal, Partha, Suresh and Basu. He was almost alike Siddhartha and I told him also the story and fate of Sidhu- and how I had to see his post mortem. I myself suffered and saw “what the poverty is! I felt what the hunger is! I knew much what a rural village is! How people try for development! I knew much better what is eviction is! What refugee is! How is their life how a person looks at them! How they struggle to survive in tents in rainy time and I had both practical and theoretical knowledge about the Marxism, leftist, naxalism. I grew up in such a family and as disciple of an Iron heart man devotee of Marx economics and society on proletariats revolution Mr. Gopal Das, who explained me the difficult theories of two volumes of “Das capital” in the practical daily life of refugees of Bankiimpalli and Purbapalli where they practiced Marx in their own manner, style and explanation-in reality –may be right or wrong ways-. I had and did not believe that I had seen especially in so genuine way any of revolutionist- except my police encountered murdered probably my best friend “Sidhu” and one day, I do not remember the exact date and time “Pravash” in presence of Basu, Swaroopda, Pabitrada, Ranabir, Arunaloke confessed “he also agreed to be ordinary member of CPIML party’s Students forum _DSA” I was utterly surprised- Swaroopda was a real good organizer.

 The election procedure is a most followed way to create a democratic environments and also to form a democratic government in the colleges, university campus & in the state when a fair election occurs and the election campaign starts when nominated candidates or his/her followers or sometimes leaders of the party of which union belongs from state central level/ politburo level used to jump from a nice car and shouts on microphone makes a two hours speech, but at the end it depends on the journalists of the news paper, TV or radio , when of about fifty thousands sentences that the candidates or state level or central level leader uttered will be released to the news paper or not or to be quoted in the TV or in radio or in the poster wall papers. That is why the state politicians always prefer to address the public in the TV or radio or send SMS or choose facebook addressee directly before Assembly or parliamentary elections. The politicians always wants to exploit the moment when he/or she is finally seen by the entire state or country and to say something of his party’s agenda or every thing that is on his/her mind, but journalists often ask him/her only about things that are often non relevant and off on the political needs at all and that has no desire to talk about. He/she will find himself in the classic situation of a college boy called the “black board” by us and will try to use the old college/high school track. He will then pretend to answer the questions but haphazardly. College union elections are a miniature form of this procedure and few of the state level leaders are expected to come out from the union secretaries or presidents as a final product in Assembly or parliaments.

 One day, Swaroopda, just few days earlier of students union election, came up in lecture theatre dias along with “Pravash” for such campaign in favor of DSA union and both of them appealed with their own style and individual charismas, so clearly to the purity of their DSA agenda and revolutionary vocation and to shake off congress party as government from the state and its student forum Chatraparishad[CP) as their main enemy to establish democratic socialism and CPM party as their B party or vice versa and to shake off the trash poss. upper middle class or rich class culture of the medical college. They told in their speeches, the education system in West Bengal was then a rotten system and Beuryoa system that the degrees does not provide any job in the market and Medical colleges of the state often produces doctors for treatment of upper class people only, as the most students will do post graduation as MD or MS or Post Doctoral degrees for fabulous private practice Mch/DM and they will do practice in kolkata to earn huge money or will join the private sector with much lucrative salaries and various incentives and they spread slogans to boycott such medical education examinations, those class assistantship/or Gold medal/ or other college medal examinations or post graduations entrances and called graduate MBBS doctors to go to villages of West Bengal in Primary Health centers, where doctors and graduates MBBS were really needed as Family physicians and to establish a Medical college in every district of the state/ country where students of rural local areas will study MBBS and will serve the poor at least will stay in village, their own home. The idea was no doubt revolutionary but problematic to implement in a democratic system at the same time for a single state with recognition of those MBBS degrees by Medical council of India to start private practice or to have West Bengal Health department Medical officer recruitments in Primary Health centers(PHC) 

 Swaroopda Ranabir , Arunaloke ,Tapan Dutta Punnyabrata Guinn Sandeepda, Jiban da, Ranadev da, Biswarropda, Sibu Dutta were then genuine leaders with very high nostalgic idealism for revolution of Mr. Majuumder, Mr. sandal, Mr. Chatterejee, Mr. Hague, Mr. sountal of CPIML party. All of them had underground connections with Mr. Majumdar,s daughter then studying at R. G Kar Medical college. In fact, I was not aware of that. They started a parallel afternoon out door clinic like that afternoon clinic in Russia but with traditional Chinese Medicine “Acupuncture therapy” where I joined and Basu and Pravash also used to come as trainees. It was a kind of needle stimulation treatment in various points of the body through which male vital energy and female vital energy used to flow in living human body they beloved and they stimulated one such energy through these various sizes needles, sometimes with very low voltage electrical stimulation through needles, they explained us in their separate theoretical classes. I was not aware that the clinic was run by direction of CPIML state leaders. The patients were mainly of near by Rickshaw pullers, Thela pullers, prostitutes or commercial sex workers of Sonagahi or prem chand Baral lane, Harkata lane, kalighat brothels, street beggars, slum peoples, hawkers, pavement dwellers who had chronic diseases of various symptoms &chief complains but had no money to purchase the allopathic modern medicine prescribed by the morning time OPD doctors or physicians with OPD tickets at four medical colleges or kolkata based hospitals. I had of course real doubts that how did these short needle therapy works in various chronic diseases except doing some kinds of analgesia by stimulation or blocking of some neuron chemicals at synapses junctions of peripheral nerves. Most of patients attended the clinic had also tuberculosis or hypertension or some suffered from diabetes or chronic low back pain, PID, rheumatoid arthritis, Gout, STDs, Allergic Asthma, chronic migraine, so much today I remember. In fact I had suspicion and strong doubt whether Acupuncture therapy had at all any scientific and pharmaceutical basis and or whether it acts like placebo therapy like homeopathy. I never came across there any intelligent patients or a middle class family persons to attain that clinic. I never saw any middle class patients there. Gradually the name of clinic spreaded and patients numbers increased a name was needed to the clinic as “ Dawrakanath Kotnis Memorial Acupuncture treatment clinic” the same times they distributed leaflets printed in bengali or Hindi languages to spread their health related political views amongst attendants in that clinic as patients. The clinic was free of cost for consultation and treatment. Not a single paisia was needed. Rather the doctors their offered their physician samples when needed along with traditional therapy of acupuncture. But I hadstrong suspecission how much those leaflets could bring a health care revolution-they believed then. Later I came to know that the clinic was run by distant direction of Dr. Bijoy Bose,who took training on acupuncture from china and Dr. Pabitra Goswami both were active supporter of CPIML party. Dr Pabitra Goswami, Dr. Punyabrata Guin, Dr Saibal pal Dr Suresh Thakur went to chattrisgarha at Raypur to work with labour class and Bhoopal gas accident sufferers and built up Sramajibi Hospital with help of Dr Binayak sen and his wife Mrs Nilima sem. So attain that that Acupuncture clinic I started to be absentee in my French class and finally I dropped the French class after 4-6 months. From the students union we arranged flood relief camps on several occasions collecting medicine from various faculties of clinical departments and attended the flood affected villages at small groups. At the top of MCDSA was Swarropda”

 That was the time, when my room mates at that period Seal mansion hostel of Medical College on 30 D College Street Road, were jayanta MouliK, Kollol DasBaxi, Seikh Muhammad Reajuddin Raja Lahiri& Vishnu prasad Samantha. Raja Lahire was always a topper boy in all undergraduate(MBBS) and Post Graduate(MD) college and university examinations like class assistantship, Gold medal examinations and Rajada were two years senior to my class when Kollol Das Baxi, Vishnu Samantha and Seikh Reajuddin and myself were classmates from 3rd year classes. I was officially placed in the hostel since my end of first year class and my father Bholababu had to spend Rs 300/= from his mere Govt. salary as section officer of AG West Bengal then ( from 1973-1977] per month. It was then sufficient amount at that time for my MBBS education staying from hostel and from 1977 my father arranged an educational bank loan form Central Avenue branch of Bank of India {he had an AG audit there ] with modgaze of his house and being guarantor for my educational Bank loan ( from 1977-1980). Rajada most time stayed in his house at kasba of kolkata and mostly was a day scholar. So sometimes Pravash used to come to our room and shared his bed. Pravash was a post graduate scholar in Government Art College opposite Rabindra Sadan. When ever we five were in hostel, we used to play table tennis in the common room at corner room of the ground floor of that hostel in the evening time and many other boarders like Surapati, Kushal Patra, Prabir sen, Ranadev Biswas, Biswaroop Bhowmik, Jayantada, Rajada played with us. I was a good table tennis player in college. Jayantada was a good cricket player and he often led college cricket team or football team and intercollegiate tournaments along with Ajitda. Jantada was a universal lover for married ladies and enjoyed love games often with married women between ages of 25 to 40 years, even mothers of one or two children. He had a fixed lover whom he married later. She was then a trainee nurse in our college. Jayanta da was also from a poor economic family like me. He was helped by his eldest brother who was posted in police service at Lalbazar police headquarter as sub inspector of Traffic and was also close to CM of the state. He had to maintain his economics often by loan or some times working as a clerk of a renowned neurologist in the kolkata metropolis- his distant uncle and who was then Professor of nuero medicine at Medical College, kolkata. Jayanta da’s collections of married ladies mostly belonged to high or upper middle poss, class families collected from that chamber whose husbands or children had neurological problems or psychiatric problems and consulted in the chamber of his uncle and most of their husbands had phallus erection problems too due to their neurological diseases and some of these women used to come directly at our room for him when the room remained vacant and we were in college. Jananta da had his charisma to take some of them in bed even. These women also surrendered to him to satisfy their long hidden unfulfilled desires and long years sex hunger and urge before a much younger handsome medicos boy and enjoyed their orgasms.Some of them also bored with their married life with diseased husband or child and required relaxation. One of them was Sushmita, silpi, Swati. He had to first judge the women’s desire and stimulate her hidden desire and break up their social inhibition and he then directly approached to her without hesitation. He had to spend money and time for it. She had then no other option but to surrender completely before him for her orgasm pleasure. Jayanta da often called himself as Lutcher or latkhor {a rotten boy). It was Rajada and swaroopda for whom latkhor jayantada passed all his MBBS university and college examinations. None of my roommate had any interest in student’s forum politics with MCDSA union and with afternoon acupuncture OPD clinics and was very little politically mobilized except some moral support towards MCDSA and during election as casting votes with much requests. This is because, except myself and jayantada, all my room mates came from economically upper classes and jayantada loved to play cricket and with married beautifully looking ladies rather then to understand politics, Carl Marx or VA Lenin or a revolution or naxalism . Vishnu was from Jottdar (cultivator land owner) enemy class family of Burdwan district. His uncle was Mr. Sushil Dhara Samanta- a long year’s veteran Member of the Parliament in Delhi from Janata party then. They had huge acres of cultivating lands in village and he was against any socialistic democratic idealism in state politics or students politics and moral supporter of CP. He was a high studious pretending good boy with morals to learn seriously medicine, surgery, and gynecology and remained always seriously busy with his books, wards OT and emergency duty but he could never did expected result of his labor. It was myself, from whom Vishnu often asked for the discussion of the chapter, he read some days back for his recapitulation and he was over serious on these issues. He was a xavarian and over smart boy with dress and English language articulation but his knowledge on subject remained superficial. Whenever our discussion went to depth he was then at total loss. He became confused. He confessed that medicine was not his cup of tea; rather he would shine if he would be in general science. In real life also, he could not become much successful and spent his life as a General Duty medical officer in ESI service-as he never got chances in post graduate degrees and diplomas. When amongst my room mates in seal mansion Hostel jayanta da became Professor & Head of Surgery, Rajada Professor and Head of Pediatric Medicine with a legendary name in pediatric medicine practice , Kollol as Professor of cardiothoracic surgery and Reajuddin as a fabulous practitioners in their community and owner of a diagnostic laboratory in in free school street of kolkata metropolis. Seikh Reajuddin belonged to minority Muslim of Sunni community and he had however strong sense of cast feeling as a Muslim community. He did not believe in secularism. By term seikh he belonged upper rich class Muslim family in their community and tried to keep an invisible wall or distances with Hindus, though he was good and helping friend of all room mates and often banker for jayantada and me too. He however sometimes joined in discussions with Pravas or Sidhu or Swaroopda when they came in our room. He used to practice Rojas and read everyday “Namaj” –twice a day. During time of “Namaj” he used to sit in classical posture at west facing in floor and read paragraph from holy Koran. He kept the book Koran in his almirah covered with red muslin cloth. He often expressed his anger, if any one would speak a word during his Namaj hours –twice a day and read paragraphs from holy Koran in a peculiar rhythmic kind of voice. He was habituated with beef preparation and his one brother or a sister often brought beef preparations like biriany, Kebab-he shared with us sometimes- I had no objection to have beef (though my father had strong belief in Hinduism, as Brahmin and he would never tolerate me if he would know I ate beef] and sharing the tasty beef biriany or kabab and other beef preparation sent to him in large Tiffin container. His eldest sister used to come with full Tiffin carrier with biryani or beef kebab preparations. His eldest sister used black colored costly borkha. She was a beautiful looking lady in spite of her three children. Some times her children accompanied her. Majority of Muslim women looked nice and very beautiful. But they lacked education and had no self identity in their family and dependent totally on their man. They were afraid of talak system. - His sister told me. Some times and often many Muslim patients were sent to riajuddin from their own community. From 3rd year MBBS class riazuddin started his private practice in the free school street chamber in evening hours and he earned a lot then. He thus could lead a fashionable life. HE was fond of Jayantada and he was banker of us.Jayantada had a very close friendship with riaj. To Riaj the glorious prophet was only Muhammad as Muhammad did not like tea or coffee he did not touch coffee or tea. And he enjoyed much their annual holy festival Eid Bakera. Then Durgapuja of Hindus.

 One day Sibuda broke the news before all. Neither Basu nor Siddhartha nor pravash nor any of my hostel room mates were much interested about “Debjani” and my relationship with her, except jayantada and Shibuda who used often make joke with stability of our relationship. One evening Shibuda, Basu & Pravash were waiting for me at the entrance gate of Presidency College. So I came out my French class ; we walked towards the Kumar’s canteen restaurant. In the restora, Shibuda gave me news about Debjani finally. He said by ways of greeting wearing a long and cool face “….. and I am so sorry for you my friend … it is not at all good news at least for you satya….” He continued. I ordered coffee for us as muhammad did not like it and to me to digest the bad news about her. We then sat at the corner end table. It was then warm spring twilight with early stars appearing on the north sky over College Street tram lines, streets to enjoy the good evening weather. Shibuda ordered beer at his own cost for us to celebrate the bad news? Basu had then almost established relationship with his aunt who was once a gorilla trained CPIML activist in suicidal squad revolutionist “ kaliany’ and whose husband was absconded from family for the sake of a revolution leaving her and her three children on Basu’s young shoulder and kalyani was also then habituated doing anything what Basu likes with her or she likes for her behind eyes of the society and culture and her children, relatives ,like husband and wife and she accepted their relation for the sake of their survival & education of her children and she started to believe that Basu’s maternal uncle lost for ever.

 __“ I do suppose now that after so much bitter incidences and bitter times with you and your parents from their ends, you are not still in love with her- the lady you introduced with all of us as your lover- Debjani, and she often came to your hostel and I may suggest you one thing as your good friend that you must strongly try to forget her from next tomorrow” _Shibuda whispered to prepare satya mentally

__”Of course! and I suppose I must not do that ” Satya replied instanously clenching and grinding his teeth with a sip to beer glass “ can you tell me about her once and you people must gathered some news from organization level also I believe and all about the fucks she had gone with Tushar- I must know that. I really d’not believe how she dared to betray me in such a manner?

__“Can you imagine those tremendous pieces of news, were that first thing of course I heard those and I had no real proof for those, neither had we seen any thing such in her …. In fact we did never gave any importance on her to keep watch as a comrade of ours DSA organization – besides she as your mere lover and at least I was sure that the relation she maintains with you is temporary to exploit you- I was damn sure of it !” Shibuda scratched his head for few minutes….” That shimmy things that she was an absolutely nothing but simple and most ordinary lady of upper middle class beuryoa mentality and according to us She was not worthy to you neither she would fit in your family for your poverty. She would be Trouble shooter one day for yours and I think what happened was good for yours”

 __”My other friends also told like all these words. Siddhartha could never tolerate their family but still… she was in love…. I believe that” Satya lit a cigarette and offered to Basu, shibuda & Pravash

__” So we were all great minded and correct” Shibuda smiled and had a sip to beer glass

__” This is none of your business, nor it has any relation with any Party, MCDSA or SFI or CP or with any Acupuncture clinics ” Satya murmured “I must know how he came to picture in between us?”

___”She had surely sexual affair with him” _Shibuda smiled in his blinking eyes like an intelligent and wise man

__” he must be then a bustered!. He must be then my enemy! . But are you sure of it? One should not do any gossip with her!. Enna- her elder sister did not also give me any hint of it- neither his brother Bishu- I every week end go to home for my mother’s illness and Bishu respects me and my father like a prophet- you know that”

Shibuda gave shark his head remorsefully and pulled satya’s arm in encouragement “ they must being together in bed in Hindu Hostel also… I suppose it ”

__ She visited him almost daily and it was just wonderful for him .How nice her cunt would be fit for you! - but you lost those opportunities “ Pravash opened his lips- he saw her once only. 

Chapter-5

Growing unit family and a Crack in commune 

 5 Satya was leaving his paternal house, his own village Purbaplli, Sodepur, along with his seven months old wedding spouse “Sorojini'' after few months tussle with his parents, his beloved 2nd brother “Tito” and 3rd brother “Pinto” and even his only sister Dahlia and a dirty family politics that started in the peacefully & loving their own house- leaped economically much better for last 4-5 years as Satya and Tito joined their government services though Bholababu retired from his services in 1983. And that family politics with stepping in of “ Sonali” Pinto’s newly wedded spouse and since then constant provocations and mental pressures from Satya’s in-law's house end to having had a separate unit family at kolkata. The demand from their end was day after days increasing and from Sorojini herself. Sorijini then always had a caucus of her own parents and her sister and few trusted people of them living at long distances and she was in fact shadows of her mom and younger sister. She grew up in a post British various steel Industrial colonial township society of somewhat upper middle class unit family without any respect towards socialism or communism but Selfism ,feudalism and capitalism and so by their own educational system, culture, religion ,must not adjust the so long years continued a prototype commune system of joint family of “Bholababu”- he tried to maintain that till his death in 2009, and moreover when Sorojini’s office was in BBD Bag, kolkata,opposite to writer’s building and she had to travel either by local train to sealdah station and from their by bus, satya always escort her to her office or by mini bus- one and half an hour journey from Barrackpore Trunk Road of Sodepur. The demand became worse when Satya got chances in MD course of Calcutta University in 1987. Satya was in mental agony and so were his parents. The chaos and dirty family politics set by Sonali herself and Tito joined increasing day after day and Satya had no other option left behind but to support Sorojini in every things, though he understood that some times Sorojini was wrong and surely wrong about her complains against his parents or brothers or sister and quality of bathroom latrine etc. The unseen tussel, intolerance, breaking of joint family started universal in middle class families of West Bengal between newly married outsiders brides and their parents in laws even with minor daily issues. Unit families were increasing day after day. Demands of flats system living in unit familystructure increasing with leap. New business sector “Flat housing by private promoters” grew in communist state of West Bengal since the 1990s. High Rising Building erection started in cities and metropolises. It gave birth to a new class. The promoters & developers started to give a lump sum donation to local CPM party leaders and party office, The CPM party, which was by the proletariats, by beggars, by refugees by labourers gradually became the party of rich people, upper middle class people and of Promoters. In 1988, however there was not a single flat house at Purbapalli, Bankimpalli, Amaravati, Ghola HB town which are now found even next to Satya's house. The concept did not yet then spreaded there. Satya however had enough experiences in student politics, state politics, Naxalism, about Carl Marx communism, a commune system, but he was simply novice to family politics played by newly female outsiders- now then members of the family as newcomers- came from different socioeconomic strata, different educational system , different culture , involving his parents and he was then damn sure that his such separation from this home is for ever, and that will affect the health and education of his youngest twin brothers Rupak and Ritwik[ who were then only 14 years old], his teenage sister Dahlia and his old parents who are ill, specially her mom’s mental & physical health. The family will be further thrown to poverty. Sorojini could never tolerate more this house members,-his keens, - his parents and in each and every step she would complain for negligence and mental torture towards her. Satya knew the laws of state for favor of Bride grooms in favor of women. Law is for the fools however and privileged people in this country. Satya knew that sorojini’s allegations against his parents most often are exaggerated,often imaginary, false,- a plea to have separate establishment, to have her own unit family as per her parents teaching and he had nothing to do but to support her going against his parents, his brothers, sister and his education, value, consensus & morality to maintain the marriage as institution . There was no questions of adjustments here .Sorojini was brought up in totally different culture of higher socioeconomic and living status, in post colonial different industrial townships societies bungalows like nomads with official transfer of his father and they simply wanted to purchase Satya- a MD Doctor – a finished product- for them.Sonali was intelligent, understood & took advantage of this situation to separate Satya and Sorojini from this house to grasp the house control in her own hand. Sonali Knew Bholababu has a soft corner towards his 3rd son Pinto next to Satya and Sonali was from a jotdar ( land Lord ] “Sammadar” family and all her relatives were close to Bholababu’s house and none but Sonali and Binoy uncle had college level education. Mr. Brazen Sammadar also wanted to teach lesson to Bholababu’s family as Bholababu was class enemy to capitalists , upper class families & Jotdars group ,& Under his able leadership and CPM Party his all lands and ponds were brought under “ Barga” by local municipality of left government and taken over by the left government to distribute the lands and ponds amongst the refugees of Bangladesh of Bankim palli- in 1978-83. Mr. Sammadar himself was so highly eager for marriage of Pinto with Sonali in family of Bholababu knowing every tits and bits of their economic struggle, poverty, space problem in house, and how sonali and his three other daughters were brought up by him with all kinds of resources & luxuries at his house. Satya from beginning was against this arranged marriage. He objected before Bholababu for this marriage. But it was again Party’s decision also. Mr. Gopal Das and other local CPM party core body people of Sodepur Panihati, requested and informed their consent for this marriage. Strange! An unusual marriage!. No one protested! Why? Satya did not understand the politics behind the game then that why Mr Gopal Das, Tinkari uncle, Dullal uncle, Chitta Ghosh gave such an unusual consent /whip from left party side and Bholababu must obey party guideline. It was Party’s decision after all!. Who is satya there? Later, he heard that Mr. Sammadar gave a huge amount of donation to party office. And it was so obvious that Mr. Sammadar wanted a big crack in a communist struggling family. And that was possible if satya and sarojini were out of this house. Provocations and politics played by sonali’s family members were implemented through sonali & pinto in the Bholababu’s house and Pinto was just a puppet of this game. The first step of it was separation of Satya from the family- the toughest guy- disciple of communism and Leninism- a doctor who is highly educated and understand tricks. And it became easy for her when Sorojini and her family demanded that also.  

Everyone in that house, Deepudee, the entire village of Bankiimpalli, Purbapalli, who had the news seemed so sorry. Hari- a neighborhood, near by their house, a truck driver, lent him a large creamy white truck to carry his goods, luggages to the city of south end of Kolkata, at Behala, Sarsuna, their temporary destination about 65 Km away, and such a vehicle provided him sufficient space to accompany Satya’s four brothers Rupak, Ritwik, Kausik and his maternal brother Santu. Satya took all those articles, packages he had from his marriage gifts in addition to packing cases of his important all medical books, journals, certificates, files, important papers, a table fan, a sofa cum bed, his trunk that Bholababu gave him in his hostel journey in years 1974,his spanish guitar- he learnt classic instrumental music beside french language and he acquired enough skill in playing world classic songs in intercollegiate tournaments like ke-sera-sera,Doctor Zivago, sound of music, come september, Ben Hour, and many such.His new address was then’ Gosh Para’ of Sarsuna, Behala, in the ground floor flat of a one storied rented house- where lived a school master for last 10-12 years as a tenant. Sorojini’s maternal side eldest brother built a two storied brick built house, hundred steps away from their rented house and he arranged that house in 7 days. The name of “Ghosh Para” was according to owner of that house Mr. Lalmohon Ghosh who was first & oldest habitant of that area. It was a water logged, low land paddy field long long ago- on way of developing by Kolkata Metropolitan Development authority(KMD]. Electricity was there. Satya, Sorojini, satya’s three brothers had to travel in the morning shining sun rays of month of winter session(February) on the truck and reached there in the afternoon and unloaded the goods till evening set in west of the horizon and his brothers and neighborhood made everything so smooth and decorated and left him at 7 Pm. Satya noted when he left the house and touched feet of his parents tear rolled on eyes of his mom and Bholababu tried his best to hide it in breaking heart of his despair and when his brothers left him, for him- a kind of journey-which he was unfamiliar and both Sorojini and Sonali won the battle. Satya knew the next step from the end of Sorojini and her family to metamorphose him and for their use- a finished Product as Doctor of Medicine. He already read Franz Kafka. He noted during they left his house, Sorojini did not even show the honor to touch the feet of his parents though his mother blessed for her new unit family journey and came outside till Hari’s truck started its engine. Sonali did not come in front. She was in her room and Pinto stood motionless. Dahlia was with mother holding her hand strongly. She was weeping. Tito was not at home- gone elsewhere?.

“ So we are now here and alone-65 Km away from our home –and alone” Satya told Sorojini

“I am so happy today” she extended her both arms “after a long four moths fight. I could not breath there freely even- is that not? My dream came finally- it is our own family…… my family”

“ I think we shall have some dinner and sleep now “ Satya answered melancholy

“I had my dream and my own family- and I am the sole mistress of it- no more your parents- none of your brothers- sister- no communism, party members- nasty & bogus! I was not free there. I had no liberty there!” She tried to explain her

“ You had every liberty there and you enjoyed that too- you reconsider”

“ No more argue please- let us enjoy today’s night& freedom- I am safe”

“We have lot of works to do from next morning- in unlocking the packing, marketing, cooking and both of you and I are novice to start a new family- we are alone here- no more hands will be available for us and satya gave a final glance round the room full of packages still

“ Don’t be worry I shall manage every things” was her answer” let us enjoy this night”

Both of them were tired of a long journey on a truck. Satya had no option to ask any one whether his brothers, Hari reached safely at Purbapalli at Sodepur by truck. They never came before Calcutta, Behala. Every roads, streets was unknown to them as Sarsuna, Ghosh Para, Behala, were unknown to Satya and all his brothers accompanied him was below their teen. Hari must be knowing the roads to back Satya consoled him. He might make a telephonic call to Mr. Sammadar’s house. But Satya yet does not know where the telephone booth there is at Gosh Para. That day dinner was arranged to Sorojinis maternal brothers( he was called by every one as “Barda”] house. Barda was a very good by his heart a gentleman, living with his family two teen kids and parents satya called “Mesho and Mashi”

The next morning was very foggy and thicker with chill. Fog spread upon the still and heavy air on a play ground in front of his flat. Sorojini was then sleeping. She took leave for next seven days from her office to decorate the flat. As Satya came out, opening the door and iron grill, he found a large green grass play ground just in front of veranda of his flat, a well at the edge of wall of the rented house and he had to pump water from the well by a bucket and a hand pump tube well, he had to pump to fill up a small cemented container ( called choubaccha] at his small bath room for bathing, and other daily works for next three years every morning. Satya had to fill up that chamber. There was a quiver in his lips then. He straight went to well into which he was looking was as ancient as the village and Lalmohon Babu’s House is and his present position appeared there as long circular perspective ending in a shining desk of quivering water at a distance of fifty feet at least. There was lining of green moss near the top and more nearer some fern trees. A drop of tear for the last time rolled from his eyes into the depth of the well and it never rolled. Satya felt that her mom can not absorb the shock of his separation, neither Bholababu. They will fell ill.- A new kind of revolution started for him and waited for him which he could foresee and he had to resist it alone- he thought. He consoled him “…. What ever happens---- surely for good!”

The old man with grey hair- house owner Mr. LalmohonGhosh emerged from his door in 1rst floor and he stepped down. Satya quickly waved a signal of assent and drew water with what was a great effort for one of his stature and poured into the pair of his plastic buckets and pausing a moment for a breath. Satya saw many thatched houses and brick-built dwelling houses that had been constructed for some late years together and many tall trees filled. The roads were small narrow lanes of bricks, metal and many are muddy kwacha roads. Some brick built houses with fences and rocking along the sides of small lanes opposite to him there was a one storied brick built modern architecture house with a flower garden. In fact there were then few tall buildings of modern architecture, design, uniform, to his eyes had been erected haphazardly and there is a large lake near the edges of the playground and muddy road at its banks. Satya bore two brimming house plastic buckets of water to his new room. Sorojini yet did not left her bed. She had last night physical relation with satya and she was tired too. She had leave from her office. He had to pump water to choubaccha container in his bathroom. Satya could hear voices of conversation in progress within nearby doors with Mr. LalMohon Ghosh and some unknown people to him …..” And who is he?” asked one- “ A new stranger?”

- “he is our new tenant-“answered Mr. Ghosh. “he is a Doctor- newly married and doing his MD degree at SSKM/ PG hospital. He came from Sodepur last day- where his other family members live. It is our blessing that we have a doctor of modern medicine at last instead of the quack and homeopath- he can help us in an emergency. He and his wife will live here. his wife is also servicing women”       

 Before Satya and Sorojini, there lived a school master (he was an honors graduate from Calcutta university) of Sarsuna Behala High school for boys [The School was of class twelve standard under West Bengal Higher Secondary Board) in the same flat. They were Mr. and Mrs. Tarafdar. Their only child was born here in the nursing home at Manton, Behala. They lived here for long a decade or more. I saw their child to be born here, grew up here, playing in this field soccer and cricket……and Mrs. Tarafdar had an long extramarital affairs with an outsider young man, less than her age, who was enough handsome, strong, muscular, often visited their house when school master was in school. Their maid knew the changes of that family. She was witness of everything. Every thing happened before her eyes. She told the story. The split was obvious and inevitable. The family crashed and divorced. Oh! The little poor boy! He stood alone on veranda when his parents quarreled. . The woman disappeared one night with the young boy leaving the boy with his father. How a mother could did so? And women can do everything. It is within their basic instinct. The school master believed his wife like a blinded man.

 It probably took more than a week that satya and Sorojini could settle and decorated their newly unit family in the new flat of totally unknown Ghosh para of Sarsuna, Behala, Sorojini had a direct West Bengal state corporation(WBSTC) bus L7A or 18 private bus service to go to her office at BBD Bag area opposite to Writer’s buildings. The bus route was from Sarsuna Bus depot to Howrah station bus stand. Its route was Behala, Taratala, Hastings, PG, Red Road, Esplanade, GPO, Tea Board, and Strand Road to Howrah. The Bus used to be overcrowded during office hours and there used to be a long queue to have a ladies seat in the bus. The bus depot way approximately 1.5 km distance from Ghosh Para Chow Rasta more, where from she used to get a rickshaw directly to Sarsuna bus depot. Fare was Rs five only. In 1988 there were no auto rickshaw services or taxi services available there. Either one had to walk on road for fifteen minutes, or use a bicycle or by rickshaw. Satya also joined his MD class at SSKM –Presidency General hospital at 244 AJC Bose roads Kolkata... For him there were two bus services WBSTC 7 and 222 available. So Sorojini left flat early at 8-30 Am and Satya left house at 10 AM... It took about two months to settle the new family unit. Sorojini Purchased a 150 ml modern kelivinator freeze, a gas oven, managed a gas cylinder and satya purchased a black & white TV, ceiling fans, a showcase war drove, other major stationary items required to run a family of two persons. The Middle aged local maid who was for long years in the school master’s family joined Satya’s house both at morning and evening hours and also for cooking for two persons. Satya used to do monthly and daily shopping from a near by shop run by a house wife women at corner of play playground. The milk man was local also, opposite the playground. Satya then had a stipendiary salary income from the Health and Family Welfare department of Government of West Bengal around Rs 2200/= per month as a doctoral trainee fellow. Sorojini had almost the same or close to him salary. Satya from his salaried income used to contribute Rs 300/= to Bholababu for the treatment of her mother, medicine of the family, his twin youngest brothers school tuition fees, his sisters studying BA Hons in political sciences at Victoria college sealdah. The joint family in the commune system of Bholababu had no other option but to manage 10 members family with his mere govt. pension , contribution from Tito, Satya’s contribution of Rs 300/= Pm which of course increased to Rs 600/= Pm by next year's time. Bholababu handed over the charges of family to run to Tito who measurably failed to manage with that money and his next choice was his 3rd Son Pinto who was trained with some sort of ideology of Marxism and Leninism and Local CPM party used him for street drama to spread party’s manifesto & Messages. For some unknown reasons Bholababu had a soft corner and fascination towards Pinto. Did he sense in 1988 that his son will remain for the rest of his life in the commune system of the family? However politics played by Somali and her relatives and of Sorojini under guidance of her parents ,was almost successful. The Family plunged further in the financial crisis & calorie neutrituon crisis started. Satya’s mom's psychiatric problems re-emerged. Pinto engaged Sonali in his beauty parlor and gave charges of it. She had to open the shop sharp at 9 AM, returned home at 2Pm, again to open shop at 5Pm- 10 Pm. This was the way how Pinto tried shuttered off the politics played by “Samadar family with Bholababu family. Kausik went back to Delhi to join a job of Peon at BIPP without completing his B.com examination. His Study remained unfinished. It was impossible to support everything with that small quantity of money. Moreover, Tito and Pinto were selfish not to contribute much of their individual income in the commune. Pinto concentrated to expand his business and Tito for savings in his bank account. No one outsider could understand such a family crisis. Bholababu as if played the role of Mr. Gregor’s father of Kafka’s Metamorphosis supporting her fiancé to reduce the food for the transformed giant insect knowing very well that it will kill his own only blood . Have you ever read the book of Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis? Mr. Gregor- a train hawker one day find himself turning gradually in a big insect and his family, his sister, his mother, his father, his fiancé – who happened to be daughter of his big manager of his company finally decided to kill him-as the manger advised her daughter.Mr. Gregor tried his best to return back. But he was metamorphosed already. His every attempt failed though he loved his family too much and he was killed without any food. Bholababu used to remain busy with his friends Mr. Gopal Das, Gopal Bhattacharya MLA, CPM Party office, slogans, street camp again, municipality affairs and developments of Bankiimpalli & Purbapalli, when his family were facing many minor problems started with daily based marketing, loan at co-operative store, medicine shops, problems with housekeeping, rationing of resources, restriction and cut shortage of monthly budget. By this time, since 1989 Bholababu started developing open angle glaucoma in his both eyes with immature cataract. His field of vision became tubular already and his tonometric pressure was high enough. He required both cataract and glaucoma operation. He visited at National Medical college and RG kar Medical college ophthalmology department infrequently. He did not want to disturb his son satya also for his illness. He was reluctant for operation also and was treated with three or four types of eye drops medicine and that caused further burden. Tussle developed with amount of contribution in the commune system with Tito and Pinto. Pinto was regulated yet by Sonali and her family. Tito played a logic that his contribution can not be more than Pinto and his wife. It should be half what pinto contributes... It created further problem and problem worsened much when Tito married an very ugly looking black complexioned women of Gangarampur Malda by his own choice & selection. She was a graduate women servicing in Labor department of Govt. of West Bengal. She could understand the situation and politics within a short span of time and understood her husband’s giant selfishness. What Sonali and her relatives wanted to teach the lesson that communism is no more valid and must break a time was totally fulfilled when Tito’s wife by one month time after their mirage and stepping her in house as outsider, played another most shroud dirty game converting her husband Tito on pressure a giant selfish personality- even towards his parents, youngest twin brothers, sister Dahlia, and she hit directly on running economics of Bholababu family completely separating Tito and stopping his all contributions but utilizing all kinds of facilities of the house, occupying two big rooms at 1rst floor, spending electricity, taking off all furniture & Gadgets Tito once purchased for the family including TV, Almirah Clock dining table, sofa, but not paying a single coin as a rent for two big rooms and electricity spent by them. Every thing she did by Tito showing their muscle power towards two week & ill persons, making nuisances, chaos, insulting Bholababu and Satya’s mom. They became real trouble shooter for Bholababu and for the entire family and remained so till 2006. They disobeyed minimum family norms, ignored Bholababu’s ruling the family, insulted mom- the owner of house, became indifferent to the sufferings & illness of his parents/ brother/sister, and used often unparliamentary words creating all kinds of nuisance as much as possible. None of them even asked parents about how they are? They were real bitch.

 At Sarsuna, Ghosh Para there was then only a Modern Medicine house” chakraborty’s Medical House” where a BHMS Homeopath doctor and a local quack doctor used to take care of local population in their ailments. The Ghosh Para was like a semi village full of long trees, banana trees,pumpkeen trees,several muddy play grounds,and many pounds.The local market place was in open air ground,where fresh vegetables from interior of villages,fishes from local sweet water were available.Few stationary shops and one sweet shop was there at Rickshaw stand. The quack doctor “ Dr. Hore” rather had much private practice then homeopath and indeed he took care to be, avoided inconvenient investigations. Investigation facilities were available at diagnostic laboratories at Behala Manton areas or near Behala Tram Depot. Local villagers formed only his patient and his wide reputation was among them only. Emergency and essential Medicine shops were few in Bus stand depot-2 Km away. The Quack practitioners was in fact survival for many people. The distances he used to travel were enormous and extended nearly whole of Ghosh Para in length and breadth. Every persons believed him on his prescriptions, medicine and he was a tall fatty man and the quack physician celebrated pills covered in paper mixed with either antibiotics, anti amoebic, anti diarrheal, or steroid., infallibly cured all common disorders of fever,asthma,shortness of breath and alimentary system. His visting fees was Rs 20/= only and in fact Satya was only Licensed doctor there doing his MD degree at SSKM Hospital Kolkata- that news spreaded like a fire throughout Sarsuna- Behala and every one strated to salute him from a distance when he met some Pedestrian with much dignity. He was treated as ET there. Women used to respect him from a distance- as he walked to bus stand.

One day while going to hospital Satya walking some what Lazy by reasons of his concentration he was overtaken by a light footed Pedestrian,an extraordinary tall but fatty,a swallow tailed coat and a watch chain that danced madly andthrew around scintillation of skylight as its owner swung along upon a pair of thin legs and houses boot- he was that quack

“Well Mr. I am hurry- so you will have to walk pretty fast if you keep along side me. Do you Know Who I am?”

“Yes. I suppose I know- Dr. Somnath Hore”

“Ah! I see! I am known to everyone! I see that comes of being of public benefactor- is that not? You are new tenant to Mr. Lalmohon Ghosh!”

 Dr. Somnath was an quack doctor well known to people of Sarsuna,absolutely unknown to anybody else as he indeed took care to be and to avoid inconvenient patients. Dwellers of GhoshPara.Sarsuna formed his patients and his reputation was among them. His position was humble and his field was more obscure than those of quacks and an organized system of modern medicine and advertising doctors and nursing homes in Kolkata metropolis.He was somehow became savior to many.

“ I hope you are a Doc- the news spreaded like this”

“ Yes doing MD degree at SSKM Hospital under university of Calcutta.”

“Ah! I see you will do private practice here? His voice trembeled”

“ Not decided yet”

 1988-1992, Sarsuna, Ghosh Para on outskirt of south city, Behala, was then very dirt,during summer times with extensive hot,muddy during rainy times with stagnation and water locking in the narrowed lanes, on roads and in the field in front of Lalmohon Babu’s house, satya took as rented to live with Sorojini in ground floor. It was very cold in winter, bone piercing,even through woolen sweater or thick coat but the apparent village within the metrocity of Kolkata that appeared before Satya with its purity for its habitants, for few long months, no longer promised to be so innocent and of pure heart alike his own domestic lands of Sodepur. The rainfall often was so torrential in months of june to September, the cold chilling air within November to February was more terrorizing in the ground floor flat. The cold chilled weather flowed all mornings, all nights whenSatya walked to sarsuna Bus stand from Ghosh Para More at 9AM or returned back to home from SSKM hospital. Usually from hospital Satya used to go first at Sorojini’s office at BBD Bag and they used to catch a minibus from BBD minibus stand, standing long one hour or so often behind a long que at evening and the bus dropped them at Chowrasta more at Behala, often completed their evening marketing and took autorickshaw to Sarsuna Bus stand, from where they availed man driven rickshaw to reach Ghosh Para more and then walking for next ten minutes to reach their flat. When Satya had some kinds of appointment or some jobs in his laboratories or to work in the central library to complete his thesis works, he had to return alone at 9PM or 10 PM. He was then elected as central executive members of Association of Health Services Doctors, West Bengal (AHSD-WB) – a pro left Association of service Doctors from SSKM Branch. In 1989, Satya obtained ordinary membership of the left front CPM party as Mr. Gopal Das. Mr. Chiita Majumdar, Mr Tarit Topadar, Mr. Tinkari Mondal and Mrs Tania Chakraborty recommended his membership at Panihati Unit of North 24 Parganas district zone and he thus awarded a special “Red card” issued for easy entry at VIP corridors ,rooms of ministers directly at writer’s Building and that VIP card was issued directly from home(personal) department of government of West Bengal. Through that ID card, he could avail any sort of help and facilities, when he was in trouble and he wanted and the card was signed by a deputy secretary, home personal department of govt.of West Bengal. Satya understood that his homeland Purbapalli,his friends,his well wishers did not forget him by three years' time though he could not have contact with them any more after his departure from home with Sorojini.

Satya however never felt any kinds of nostalgic feelings towards Sarsuna to be involved their CPM local office,though it was closely and almost similar to his home land “Bankim Palli” as Sarsuna, Ghosh para, never took him to memories of his childhood, to his youth times,to his friends,he was brought up,nor to the windows of his room, no longer returned to his previous places and he was gradually adjusted with upper middle class life with Sorojini and he missed so much his previous life enjoyment, except two fat boys “Raju” and” Sanju”. Sorojini used to go back to his parents and sister almost every alternate week ends (usually saturday after her office hours) and returned back Monday evening after her office hours with Satya. Sometimes Satya used to accompany her and his ground floor flat remained locked. So Satya had to spend alone in a flat unless “Raju” used to accompany him in his flat for those days at night after dinner. Raju called Satya as “ Mesho” and with times he became friend of Satya. Raju was Sorojini’s eldest maternal brother’s Son and he was then 15 years old boy of class nine standards. of same age of “Rupak and Ritwik” Satya’s youngest twin sibling brothers whom he left at Sodepur. Satya’s another two liking personalities were Sorojinis eldest maternal brother (Barda) and her aunt (Mashi). She used to cook nice recipes often for Satya and Sorojini and she supplied some things she often cooked. Satya called this 62 years old lady ( Mashi) . Satya still remember test of her various recipes with due respect. He stayed at Sarsuna for four years and passed his MD degree from their and enrolled himself for post doctoral PhD in Pathology in university of Calcutta. He shifted in 1992 at 193 Andul Road, Danesh Seikh lane, Howrah with sorojini as soon as he obtained a new flat there from housing department of Govt.of West Bengal.

The West Bengal Assembly election for left front party for 4th time ministry formation at West Bengal and as a new party members at Panihati constituency he felt some kinds of moral responsibilities for it. Bholababu had glaucoma and cataract in his both eyes worsened and he could not be more active in evening hours due to his narrow and tubular vision in both his eyes. He was reluctant for operation for his glaucoma and cataracts. More over Pinto and his wife Sonali and Tito had started dirty family politics for sharing finance of smooth running of his joint family and contributing money for his operation at Netraloy Chennai, Bholababu fixed a date and he treated himself with medicine eye drops Pilocarpine and Beta blockers depending on tonometric pressure,he measured at eye OPD of R.G Kar Medical college,Kolkata. Damage to his Optic Nerve started. He however stopped smoking Bidi or reduced it in numbers. Mr Gopal Das, his mentor passed away suddenly in 1989 of a heart attack in home staying alone and discovered his crops on floor two days later . So he also reduced visiting party offices daily unless he had an important call from their end. Mr Gopal Bhattacharya filed nomination as candidate of left front that time also. From the Party Satya was called for and bestowed task of writing an article on Party’s newspaper “ GanaSakti” and “Bangla Darpan” about pre-poll survey and party people told him to go to poor and poorest people of colonies areas of Sodepur. To understand what those people are thinking about left party’s works for their socioeconomic uplift as they were real vote bank for the left front government. He would be introduced there as “Bholababu’s eldest son and poor and poorest people must open their doors to speak before him about their grievances. The opposition candidate that time was T chaterjee –a chartered accountant by his profession. Circulation of news paper” Ganasakti was high” in Sodepur than other newspapers and news paper “Ananda Bazar” was supporting Congress and read by elete, or middle class people

All journalists, who were sent to cover pre-election or election news should in 1980s first had to take permission from local Khardha Police station during back 1980s and because Satya was then a political exile and he returned from Behala to his home land Sodepur,mostly in alternate Sundays after absence of 4 years and because Satyas duties was forwarded by party’s people,issuing him a Red card that was instructed to all people including police department of state of West Bengal,to provide him all kinds of supports necessary for him and all kinds of protections” and because it was favoured from central office of the Party, the police sub inspector(SI) could not object him. Rather the assistant sub inspector of police station called him in his table offered him the chair and he knew already that Satya was eldest Son of” Bholababu”-and impressed him a lot and asked him politely

---“There is going unrest and terrorism too amongst parties even. There happened a murder of a councilor few days back- you must be knowing that, some abou 14 people(men) suicides and do you want protection from police end?”

---“ Pardon!” Satya answered him back—“ I hope I don’t need it”

--- “ No! I am suggesting you because I am ordered like this from my upper level- you understand what I want to mean! I am suggesting you Plain dress police man at least- this is however also constituency of Finance minister of the state—one for your own safety and my service……. And please let your mind set so!”

----“ Do I need it actually? I came here just to cover 4th eletion only for three or four week ends and why there are so many suicides amongst men and women and why there are murders! I am known to my localities and here. And I hope to survey those various wards of Purbapalli, BankimPalli, Natagrah,Ghola,Amarabati,Pansheela,Desbandhu nagar, H.B town and Panihati areas with samples selected randomly and I hope no one is going to drive me out from their doors” 

---“ Not of course! I did not want to mean those! More over you are an MD doctor too—I heard of your academic excellence some time before as I am also from Amarabati areas—but you know that opposition is growing strongly like congress, BJP, Janata Party and newly growing up TMC ’s Party. So it may not be politically peaceful survey as it was and you saw in earlier times. More over Mr. Das is no more. There were some murders- like Bhombol- you must knew him- your once party member. There are suicides and suicides started and spreaded like epidemic.—in home, in rail line--- many things changed by 4 years time and is changing. 

__” True! And I hope that this year election will not be peacefull, transparent and there may be riging and months back there happened a political murder and also suicides of 14 people. However we have caught all possible terrorist youths in the localities as per home departments order”. The political murder-was a municipal councilor- at Natagarh area and one rumor was that he had been shot dead over a very simple municipal depoint- the demolition of an illegal structure- you know construction of flats started in sodepur areas—promoters…. And the assultant belonged to under umbrella of ruling party… we could not yet capture him as there is political pressure and he is under direct umbrella of a big leader here…. I don’t want to name for the sake of my service! I have my wife.. my children…. My old parents… in my husband… and I don’t want to loose my job…. Is that not true? The Assistant subinspector of police station smiled….. And people say the assultant was young moves freely! It will be disappointing to put him in jail.He works for Pro-poor, proleteriate class. But murder is a murder- noncognizable offence! What can we do? Political pressure under which we work and every thing is today politicalized and nepotized. Satya first met with the party's local office of Panihati unit and many faces were unknown to him. He had no touch with politics of Sodepur, since his MBBS study in college life. Mr. Gopal Das passed away in 1989. Mr. Dulal Chakraborty introduced him with other young new stars and introduced him with spokesman and he took interview of spokesman, who was confident about victory of Mr. Gopal Bhattacharya as MLA and left front ministry in much better margin as it was in last three assembly elections in 1977, 1982 &1987 from Sodepur panihati constituency and gave the list of works the left party did for last five years for improvement of habitant of Sodepur in regard to roads, swaege disposal, culturals, clubs, local libraries ; municipal markets, Najrul Mancha; industry and employment. Bholababu did not come to party’s office more and did not know Satya had come to cover pre-election survey ,sent by party’s central direction,of course he would be knowing every things within short days- Satya knew that and when the interview was over Satya decided to vist door by door solitarily. So from Sodepur station, Satya stepped out directly to the poor and poorest areas of Purbapalli, Desbanhunagar, Nil ganz road, Ghola, Natagarh, Bankimpalli, through the refugee colonies of Bangladesh war-1972 –who were evicted from Bangladesh and setteled there for last two decades. Satya moved with sad determination towards poor and poorest neighbourhood and dwellings slums often through broken silences of barking street dogs and naked or half naked children playing on narrow dirty lanes or in front of home yards of tinny shanties now,kicking on broken plastic soccer balls broken plastic cars,one armed old dolls,empty plastic bottles of coco or limca or wooden boxes of tea or medicine.Most houses he visited in Sodepur, those areas made their shanties, bricklet walls up to ceilings and fluted aluminium sedd and some roofs were of talies,filled up with trees of vegetables like kumro or lauo trees. Some houses had blooming flowers or gardens of vegetables in front or in little open spaces of back yard. The bricklets in some extended up to curnish level or to roofs are mostly without cement paster or white wash. They had hooked illegal electricities from near by lamp post and took power lines and many houses do then possess back and white television, old freeze, FM radio set; electric stoves, a few of them had LPG connection or electric heater to cook for family members and of course many had clay made woven with local cow dungs and coal fuel. Coal became costly

 When Satya made his ways from one home to another house knocked on doors and if a women answered him and however and somehow could recognize (It was not very easy to recognize him after his loss of contact since 1977 with them) in a voice deserved to inspire his confidence and he had to explain them that he had come here to report on pre-poll survey on the ensuing assembly election and to report why suddenly men of sodepur started commiting suicide and whether citizen dwellers residing here could share their views , they would be then doing good for the left parties. Many of old members of families were respondent and however behaved friendly. The new generation boys,girls or new comers women family members could not recognize him. It was natural and expected. They also did not heard name of Bholababu and about Mr Gopal das but they new that there is para named as”Gopal Nagar” in Natagrah. And they were not sure whether it was after his name or not At that time concept of Para was more evident. The elder people of para used to rule the youngs and involved them much in various beneficiary, cultural activities, physical activities and used to solve problems of a family. Again there were cold war between one para to another and that could be felt during interpara tournament match,be it in cricket or in football. Satya moved randomly selected by him one door to another of various such “para in gradual developing melancholic moods for inequality in prosperity of habitants of Sodepur suburbs. He passed an open play ground,you readers can call it a park that was filled up by dismantled swings, all broken things, various garbages collected from near by houses and surrounding Shanties of bricket walls and Tally roofs and a group of teen aged boys were playing foot balls. It is called “Khelar math” on roads and lanes high lamp posts erected[ Satya remembered the first resolution of the party- was electricity] by local Panihati municipality, at quite a long distances, some of which did not worked for long months or years, some pale yellow glowing lamp bulb lights from the top with a shade were not enough the evening and night darkness under the lamp posts and on the road and satya stopped to watch them to understand what were the utility of those lamp posts and he compared the sodium vapour lamp posts or trifalla lamp posts on roads, lanes and so many flyovers buildings, malls, cinemas, ionoxes shopping malls, hotels, plazas, restoras of any places of kolkata and that of howrah metrocities- Sodepur, Bankimpalli, Natagarh, Desbanbhu Nagar remained in darkness in1992 as he left it in 1980s. It reminded him dissolution and remoteness, poverty, unemployment and tolerability, delegency of the habitants for any protest and revolution against ruling left front party. And the pictures hit him with such a forces that he felt GOD inside him. He understood that most of suburbans and rural villages in most places of West Bengal state are yet struggling for existence and survival in spite left front party ruled over three times assembly elections- more then 15 years and formed government and they say the party is of the poor,made by the poor and for the poor- rather poor of poorest,proleteriates,refuges,low middle classes of the labour classes, unemployeds- there is no kinds of development for them!. He realized that party has turned out its look, its face and is focused to upper middle class, neo middle class and richer class population and party’s moto is to catch the cat and not to look at its colour- red, black or white or brown and the party must be loosing its contact with poor people. Satya grew up in one such para of Sodepur Purbapalli in a refugee communist family and so far he remembered he had not obtain or does not believe in any kind of religious lessons[ Mr Gopal Das told him Religious thoughts are opium and as Bholababu is a true Marxist and it was only Satya’s mother who was a religious house wife believed in GOD ] and he had never taken also any religious lessons in his school or college times( He used to avoid such lessons and functions] and these pictures and findings suggested him one near future forecast that the left party will be no more- a party of the proletariat but turned party of upper middle class, neo middle class, richer section and of the industrialists and a new “ TMC ’s party will come out in time to rule the west Bengal” and such a thought within his brain did not caused him any anxiety or raised any panic or sorrow impulse in his mind and he murmured within him” There were haves and haves not from long past history of human civilization and there is and there will be” Not any revolution nor any GOD’s party can bring equity or communism- a dream of mankind. In equality in wealth, in economics, in life style,in human rights, in education , in employment, in health ,in society will persist for ever for another century 

 What the town Howraha was then in 1990s? It was a neglected very old city with fast growing, migrating populations from near by suburban, villages in search for various jobs from near by provinces like Bihar, Odessa and was a very unplanned city then with growing up sky skippers, flats, offices, plenty numbers of various items shops. Groceries, supermarkets, restaurants, narrow lanes, uneven roads, old cinema houses and was a conjecture of picture of unplanned township, without any pigeons, any sparrows even crows, without play grounds, open fields to play saucers, good tracks , playing cricket or badminton by young people and children and walking pavements for old adults or for jogging in dawn, full of pollutants with increasing numbers of two wheelers, passenger cars, vehicles, taxi, lorry, goods trucks, many industries small big, ancillary on both side roads paralleling the river” the Ganges”, the Grand Trunk Road & fir show road, liberating carbon smokes and various chemical poisons on air from chimneys and long standing problem of traffic jam on roads, specially on entry & exit points vidyasagar Setu( Connecting then only hanging bridge between Calcutta and Howrah city). Buses and minibuses could move so slowly that you would require one hour extra time to reach from D.S lane on Andul Road to Howraha station (almost half-an hour distance in normal spped) in over crowded mini buses, or private buses to sibpur or BE garden or Bengal engineering college or bakultala or govt.public buses without any trees where you would no more hear the bit of wings of birds or rustlings of leaves, besides in botanical gardens. The seasons could be discriminated only looking at the sky. All that told you that the spring is coming is the feel of air or baskets of flowers brought by hawkers from the largest whole sale flower markets of howraha in the shops “ It is the spring” Cried by the hawkers……of shops. During the summer time the D.S. lane baked the houses, flats bone dry, sprinkled the brick walls with grayish dusts of air pollution from chimneys of industries, mills and you had left no option but to bake in hot summer in midst of frequent loads adding for power cut, putting the DS lane and andul road areas, Botanical gardens areas in ghostly appearance in moon light of abandoned city.

Perhaps the easiest ways of making a town acquaintance was to ascertain how the dwellers in that town works, how they are educated, how do they live the town and how do they die in that town. In that town what Satya could have felt all the above there they did much the same time. The truth was that most people in D.S lane of south Howrah in government rental Housing of 193 & 197 Andul road were outsiders and citizens worked hard since dawn to late night 12 AM even next day. But solely to maintain a emerging neo middle class status of mixtures cultural life and many with object of getting rich and rich. The chief interest of howrah town was then commerce and only commerce and their chief aim in life as they called it “doing Business” and these people did not eschew such simpler pleasures as love making, going to theater, cultural programs gossiping on rocks, playing cards by pensioners and olds moving to botanical gardens- an ideal place for love making or a family picnic or going to a cafeteria or standing on balcony to breath polluted airs. The people were running to earn money by hook or crook. The young’s and children were running in the rat races of various competitive examinations of CBSC or ICSC schools colleges in kolkata city admissions, coaching classes for state level or all India level joint entrance Examinations, the passions and idealism of younger generations vanished or were very short lived. The vices of older men seldom ranged beyond addition of fame of bowls to banquets and social clubs and were very few and if existed where money changed in hands of fall of cards or a wheel. The character of DS lane of South howraha city was however most common in all parts of posh areas of kolkata metro city and people were trying hard from morning 3 AM till late night daily and loosing interactions with his next neighborhood and to ask “ hello a very good morning! How are you? How is members of yours family” and even they did not knew who are living in next blocks of flats. This is called modernity and DS lane touched that modernity in 1990s as a cosmopolitan character and it was the land areas of jungles of modern flats in the 193 & 197 Andul Road and newly constructed promoters costly flats adjacent to BE college and BE gardens and mandirtala areas of sibpur and satya rented a flat at first floor in BF1 block of 193 Andul road of D.S lane Govt rental quarter in 1991 allotted from housing department of govt of west Bengal from new secretariat buildings. That was the time satya had to influence the connection of his comrade Papa through MLA of panihati CPM party Gopal Bhattacharya to Alimuddin street Party’s main office and the verdict to allot him a flat went straight to secretary housing department whom satya mate one day in writer’s building in his office chamber and the direction went then already, Satya had the allotment letter by one month time of his official application for the rental flat as a medical officer then posted in R.G Kar hospital as demonstrator of Pathology. Satya with sorojini moved to that flat on a summer morning of April 1990 with all his domestic articles from Sarsuna rented house. The premises had more then two thousands flats with all kinds of the then modern facilities around them likes market, supermarkets, various shops, showroom jewelries shops, computer and internet café entertainments, restora, salons, beauty parlors garment houses, tailors shops, car show room and what not except one- any hospital near by- the near by hospital was Howrah state General Hospital and Presidency General Hospital at AJC Bose road kolkata that require at least two hour journey by taxi . Many( nearly sixity) Specialists and super specialists doctors lived there along with Civil services personals like WBCS or IAS officers with Judges or Muncie of courts Clerks and peons of Writers buildings and of Howdah districts in their marked quarters as per basic pay of them confined within their flats. But life was highly risky fir sick and ill people there

 What was most exceptional in the D.S lane of Andul Road, South Howrah town was the difficulty one might experience there during time of dying or when they fall in seek. The word difficulty may not be the correct word to express by this narrator, rather discomfort would come nearer. Being ill there was a horrible experience. Satya himself felt. One day few months of living there he had loose motion with high temperature- and as a doctor he understood well he needed saline transfusion and consultation under a doctor. He was alone in the flat as sorojini went to parents’ house in Bandel. There was then no telephone connection and cell phone did not arrive.. Being ill there was a curse, a horrible experience. There were few nursing homes- but all not equipped, though costly for middle class people, few diagnostics centers but lots of private chambers and medicine shops near by areas. The nearby hospital was Howdah State general Public hospital with 150 beds and dirty, unhealthy atmosphere in medicine and surgery wards. The Physicians, surgeons, Gynecologists and other specialists were too busy with their own private chambers and earning huge money. Money was there only aim and character of howrah was that Doctors had their practices in pharmacy medicine shops and they had allotted sloughts of hours in days and evenings from 8AM to night 1 AM. Doctors needed to pay pharmacy shops for allotted hours and had to write brand name medicines available in that shop. The pharmacy medicine shops were full of patients’ crowds waiting in Queue of slips or appointments done previously for visiting specialists’ doctors. The South howraha was heaven for doctor’s specialists for a fabulous practice and doctors were purchasable for quantity money. So being ill there was not much agreeable especially for poor, clerks, peons and slum dwellers because the city or town would not stand by you when you are seek. A seek or a seriously ill patient needs always emergency management or some sort of attentions or observation at least. One could however manages to take the seek to Howrah public state general hospital or to a costly but ill equipped nursing homes or to a private doctors chamber or in kolkata based Medical colleges but in Night after 10 PM it become obvious that if any emergency arises by a heart attack or heart failure or asthmatic attack or an severe abdominal pain or a brain stroke or a anti partum /post partum hemorrhage and for a dying person he/or she must feel discomfort- as there were no supporting system even a modern dying to provide

 I hope These were some kind of haphazard observations by Satya can give a fair ideas what the town of south Howraha D S Lane &B E garden was in 1990s until the 2nd Hoogly river bridge and many fly over roads were constructed and inaugurated in 1995 by CPM lead left government that made communication with neighbour town kolkata metro city very easy for every things like communication, culture, illness, treatment , school and colleges by at start for several years few govt run buses, taxis private cars and ambulance services with tax tole and sick patients patients in emergency could be easily taken to SSKM or PG or any hospital of Kolkata for an admission hiring a taxi or an ambulance or a private car.- I must not exaggerate town appearance and life in it in1991’s for long six(06) years satya and sorojini had to face those troubles and when you get through these troubles in daily life and once you formed it in habit and since habit are precisely what town encourages to form a new Associations like there 193 Doctors club staying there in houses and flats of 193 & 197 D.S.Lane & Botanical garden areas and of nearby locality finally named “ South Howrah branch of Indian Medical Association” in 1993 where leading role to form that association by a CPM Left party minded general surgeon” Dr. R.B Pal” to provide all the best possible treatments of local people in Emergency situations. A ground based flat with three rooms was allotted by the local government District magistrate and that branch IMA members rose to 60 members in couple of few months and every night two doctors to give duties for an emergency with 6 beds Satya was elected as President of that South Howrah IMA for 1993-98. This branch of IMA still in existences with membership of 150. Almost every days 6 beds were filled up with Asthmatics, COPDs, sudden abdominal pains even patients with hemoptysis or PPH requiring blood Transfusions or high fever. Some times death occurred there also. However those deaths were made comfortable providing oxygen, drugs, attention and care. Local house wives came forward as nurses duty in the evening and night and were trained by on duty doctors. Sorojini however denied always to take any active role in such duties as she was working lady in office though she enjoyed respect of President IMA’s wife. Every month academic seminars to refresh doctors and house wife nurses as academic activities were done. A periodicals SHIMA was published annually. These get together increased brotherhood.

One important thing in 193 Andul Road of South Howrah areas, there was no social unrest and very dull peaceful life and viewing from that point, life was of course good. Though not exciting but peaceful and D.S Lane was treeless,glamour less, soulless town end by seeming restful and after a while one can go completely to sleep there. It should be also mentioned that DS lane was grafted on a unique landscape in the center of shalimar Railway station, Bengal Engineering college -SibPur, Botanical garden in the east Guestkin industries and 2nd hoogly bridge and a newly built Private care hospital cum nursing home that came out” West Bank hospital” by some NRI group doctors who came back in Kolkata city- a completely profit making business hospital with infrastructure of modern care for the rich class society of Howrah district at Bakultala on Andul Road, where many members of IMA joined later as consultants. It was first kind of Private care hospital in left government in health care industries in Howraha. 

 It was truth that daily life of Satya and Sorojini at 193 D.S Lane government rental house flat was very exhausting & colorless one and yawning from bed at morning, when sun rays fell through his windows, he used to walk briskly on narrow lanes dressed as athlete towards Botanical garden or Bengal Engineering college, Sibpur , if weather was good for aerobic exercises to keep his heart some what healthy( he was by that time detected having boarder line ischemia in his inferior cardiac wall and borderline concentric hypertrophy for hypertension or hypertrophic cardiomyopathy ) and returning back to his flat, to go to municipality built supermarket for daily shopping and marketing fishes,vegetables and milk as ordered by Sorojini, then preparing his cup of morning tea ( satya was habituated to drink cups of tea frequently with puffs of cigarette), when Sorojini was already dressed to leave for her office from D.S lane bus depot by minibus at tea board of BBD Bag and after she left ,Satya prepared for his hospital at School of Tropical Medicine, kolkata ,posted then as senior lecturer in Pathology department, where he had to report biopsies, cytology, FNAC, experimental pathology, doing various research projects, taking lecture and demonstration classes of post graduate diplomas and doctoral students in Tropical medicine, having lunches in adjacent Medical college canteen or at canteen of School of Tropical Medicine and in afternoon he used to catch up buses to Sorojini’s office at BBD Bag to pick her up to catch mini buses for D.S. Lane from Esplanade near metro cinema hall. It usually took one to one and half hours to return back and satya at 7-30 Pm joined in a fitness club, he had membership there and did light Jim at least thrice a week for one hour, and returning back in flat, seeing the news or serials on a colored T.V, he purchased on installment basis. Sorojini remained busy with maid or cook Lakshmi and Bulu to prepare their dinner, salad and satya would go to read a while his subjects pathology, journal articles published, in pathology , preparing his classes, PPT Presentations of his research works or on astronomy or theoretical physics to build up and strengthen Rupak’s model of universe, dark matter galaxy or a zero rest mass particles and anti particles at Gev temperature at Planck’s moment that brought mass in this universe or on Tachyon particle, a faster particle then light particle(photon) in the universe or his concept that gravity is particle he named it “graviton” , before going to his bed room. Some times he had been called to 193 Doctors Club’s hospital at ground floor of a quarter or he himself visited the on duty doctors as a President of South Howdah branch of IMA either for a simple kind gossip with on duty doctors colleagues or to know whether they had facing any troubles. Most of nights were were cool and manageable. Satya was often so tired that letters on his books, or images of histopathology or cytology on books or in journals on pages began to dance before his eyes. They had neither a land telephone or a cell phone then till 1995 and when it came in their flat, many problems from Sodepur directly, either with his mother’s illness or with brothers ( Tito and his wife and Pinto’s quarrel ) and new comers family members playing family politics[ troubles with contribution in the common funds, or with even minor issues that were made a major issues ] complains he had to solve by his directions over the telephone to his old ill parents and minor Rupak & Ritwik. Rupak and Ritwik then19 or 20 years old) (were his loyal soldiers carrying out his instructions without any questions to fight their poverty, how to live healthy in poverty and how to save life of his parents and to keep them in peace. Satya used to remain in anxiety about her mother’s psychosis exacerbations or about Bholababu illness of sudden life threaten hemoptysis from his bronchiectasis developed as post squeal of tuberculosis. More over he had dim & tubular vision and his blindness progressed from glaucoma and cataract. No one even he cared of it.

On Saturdays and Sundays of weeks end, Sorojini almost always had a trip directly from her office alone or with satya (most often) to Bandel of Chunchura district, her parents purchased a old house and constructed new extending further 2nd floor in 1993-1994. There lived her parents with her sister and these trips were three or four trips a month and Satya had no scope to spend a single Saturday or Sunday at D.S lane flat unless he had a duty or a seminar or a meet of IMA. He could not also go to Sodepur. Once or twice a year, they used to travel hectically to see other provinces in India either as a simple travelers with LTC from Sorojini office or to present a paper at conferences of national or international level organized in India either as a paper presenter or as a guest speaker or as a symposium speaker or to chair a session in those conferences. That was the ways Satya and Sorojini traveled almost all over the India’s provinces cities by train or in Bus routes. Satya gained Indian national level fame & Respect as a scientist and bench researcher in pathology and awarded hon. Fellowship of Indian College of Pathology in 1997 and Life membership of International academy of Pathology in 1995  

As Ritwik completed his B.com pass course degree with Accountancy, Economics as his subject of studies, from the University of Calcutta, from city night college at Amrhastreet, in the year 1996, with much hurdle admixed with extreme, intolerable poverty within the family of Bholababu, he had a hidden ambition and mind to join the Law classes and when one day he expressed that before Satya, Satya nodded his head, as joining at law courses at those time meant involvement with student politics with students unions of either the left party or TMCs party or People’s party and Satya did not want his loyal soldiers brother’s life are ruined with political party’s activities, rather than searching a suitable job for the family support or his carrier next and Ritwik himself got admission in five years degree courses of Law (LLB) started newly then in Calcutta University at Surendranath Law college at evening hours. Rupak also had his honors degree in mathematics from university of Calcutta from st. Paul’s college of sealdah in that same year but his percentage of marks was not enough to get admission in master degree classes at science colleges like Raja bazaar Science College or Ballygunge science college Calcutta where Msc in mathematics were then taught.

 So Satya over land line telephone( concept of cell phone was not then) from his D.S Lane flat or when they came to Satya’s office for collecting his monthly financial contribution of Rs 1,200/= INR to Bholababu’s family or to collect Insulin injection for mother or to consult at OPD for his parents or for them, he pressurized his then 20 years old two brothers to appear for next for state level competitive examinations for a government or semi government or in private companies ,if they could hook one –to apply for any post they appear fit and adervitize in public news papers like public service commissions or union public service commission or Railway service boards, Bank services, Staff selection commissions etc and to be selected for any such posts required then political supports, affiliations as active members and party leaders backup & extensive preparations for these kinds of examinations in private coaching system grew in various centers, filling up applications proformas and sending them with appropriate postal orders or bank demand drafts as processing & examinations fees to get admit cards for competitive examinations or interview and in mid 1990s the cost was enough high for all these absurd and at that time there was hike of unemployment almost one cores of population registered in West Bengal province alone in state employment exchanges. There were no new industries in West Bengal. Whatever there were they started declaring for closure. The Left party and government ruled to enroll names, qualifications and addresses of unemployed persons at Graduate, Post Graduate, Doctoral level. Higher Secondary School Level or Madhymik secondary School level certificates were essential as minimum qualification for a clerk to be appointed in government job. The Youngs people had the chance to enroll their names at every district level employment exchanges. The collective would go to central employment exchange at Salt Lake City Kolkata. The government of India as well the state governments, semi governments’ organizations issued embargoes against all kinds of recruitments in vacant and superannuated posts and so the west Bengal government. The heavy, large, middle industries, jute industries, cotton industries, manufacturing industries in west Bengal, in Kolkata underwent liquidation and were declaring lockout and closer and mill owners left west Bengal investing capitals in other states of India where there were no political unrest ,no electricity cut and load shedding problem. There were no new industries set up. Ministers and bureaucrats secretaries of the government the chief of state often visited London,USA, Germany, Japan, Singapore, to sign up a memorandum of understanding (MOU) for drawing capital in the state irrespective of whether the cat is black or white. But nothing in reality happened in West Bengal except one or two the unemployed and jobless young people grew. Some Information technology industries developed in salt Lake IT sectors. Child labor and human trafficking increased.

But there was a peculiar Silence and no movement. No public unrest at all from the younger generations against the government. Some Maoist people grew at Jangle Mahal & here & there where the people starved. So it was really difficult for these two brothers to appear in competitive public services examinations like PSC, Clerkship, bank services, staff selection, with confidence to get through for very limited numbers posts which were advertised in local newspapers. Inspiring the entire toughest situation, both Rupak and Ritwik appeared in the WBCS and IAS preliminary examinations and Satya himself went to the centers of examinations. Both failed. Satya could understand their problems very well. But it was tremendous needs for the family that any of these two brothers must have earnings instead of their further university degree and he had nothing to do. A degree of university in general science or commerce or humanities stream does not bring or guarantee any job. Nothing is taught in classes for a job or a business or to make some goods for sale. To start a business there requires investment of money and the family had no money to invest for these two brothers. The degree certificates of a university are waste box papers and never guarantee any job in whatever few jobs they appeared in interview in the state, unless they had high level connections with employers and ruling party’s political local leaders. So Rupak joined as a peon in a private company (an honors graduate of mathematics university of Calcutta as a peon- pooh! What a shame for the university degrees and its certificates!) At Salt Lake City of Kolkata with a salary of RS 500/= INR (Again what is a necessity of such degrees? The certificates are useless papers!) That helped his movement from salt lake, his pocket money his admission at Jadavpur University in master degree in mathematics in evening classes

 One day from employment exchange of 24 pagans (then it was yet not divided as north 24 pagans or south 24 parganas) district of west Bengal almost 7-8 years after enrollment in employment exchanges, he was called for a fitness test for the post of Constable/ habildar which actually stated for persons with educational qualification of class VIII or bellow standard. But in his first interview he could not be however enough smart of speaking of astonishment with disappointment seeing numbers of candidates with graduate and post graduate qualifications even from near by states appearing for fitness tests for filling up 300 constable posts and he developed shock, reluctant tongue, ordered to join in long parade and 500meter run in the extreme hot summer that he was never practiced, where he vomited suffered from dizziness,reeling,and felt unconscious and he was cancelled to be selected

Both brothers Rupak and Ritwik tried their hardest to get a job, a decent job in Kolkata city or nearby sodepur suburban without help of left party & Bholababu & his comrades & Satya and both brothers were trusted, loyal, honest & tested personality by Satya. Ritwik was perfectionist, moral and too much honest by his own character and they had a narrow circle of friends within Bankimpalli & Purbapalli, and that made Rupak more innovert and they did not have personal likings or disliking or demands of any earthly things. They were loyal to Satya and to duties for their old ill parents. Poverty, unemployment always invite depression, schizophrenia, unhygine, uncleanness, bad physical appearance, slovenliness, bad manners, tuberculosis, and fungal infections on skin and hits on self confidence. Satya one day advised Ritwik why not to involve himself in the local politics with party of his choice like God’s party or people party TMC but certainly not with the left party – and he knew that the left party already started decaying its support and started its journey in path of entropy by that time and it was matter of time that the party will be wiped off from state and then why no to dream for assembly or parliamentary speeches or to be an IAS/IPS/IFS and if he would be a parliamentarian or member of general assembly of God’s party he would be more powerful person day by day and benefactors of all business operations as such in agriculture, commerce or finance would be subordinate to him. But first of all he needed a job and base work in the local field with God’s party 

 Most of companies had no vacancy and Bholababu had no family business or money to start a business for his sons except to join the left party politics when his was full of family politics by the new comers female characters as family members isolating and trying to separate their husbands and not to look after the two old people and two young boys and their sister Dalia. Every day dirty tussles with Tito and Pinto and with Bholababu with contributions in family and their assistants and the situation went so bad that family members lost speaking terms amongst themselves. Under the curtain were Sonali , Pinto’s wife, Tito’s wife and in 1995 added with kaushik's wife Seema too. Sorojini often tried to develop chaos when Satya tried to help his loyal soldiers and she could not even tolerate any family members of Satya who ever it might be. She was growing selfish, pro-feudal and remained confined within caucus without any knowledge of what is a family structure and she ever believed that her family was her parents, her own sister and her relatives by blood for obvious reasons. She used to play all guaible theories against those two boys to misslead Satya from his track and Satya managed those somehow. She often tried to develop chaos with Satya’s monthly contribution to his parents and two soldiers brothers

The left Parties supports with common people decaying with rise of TMC’s party who also spoke and displayed similar to left party’s slogans, policies and manifestos but in different manner. What was raising then real estate? Syndicate of left party, Insurances, privatizations of all national companies. Privatization of health sectors, open market economy policy entered the economic market of west Bengal as a part of globalization and some newspaper editorials strongly supported the Globalization, Open market, foreign investment, IDF. For globalization and Open market economy the catastrophe had knocked the door in economy of the state as well as of country but the final blow did not succeeded yet then. The price Index of market started to raise the petrol diesel cooking gas coal charges rice charges vegetable charges grocery food charges electricity charges became high and high. The surcharges became high. The subsidies of government was cut drastically People did not pay income tax nor customer tax. VAT was introduced. Restriction of foreign currency and paralysis of imports and exports in economic life of the state and with zero balance budget and huge numbers of unemployment in the state the life of West Bengal came as if stand still

 Practically speaking in those times of mid 1990s there was no income of all enterprises of the state of west Bengal and only expenditure. Poor class people became much poorer many committed suicide, but some survived. But how! There were economic wars! There happened explosions of thousands of unemployed workers, which added social problems of frustrations, depressions, theft, docoity, prostitutions, rape. Why not the left party could give guarantee of employment and economic sustainability when its election manifesto , slogans,placards always told, they wrote in walls’ House, Food, Health , Education, Job, Employment for every ones and is our Right”. They had no strategic enterprises. They signed only MOU with foreign multinationals and ministers, the chief officers travelling in forgien countries to attract capital in West Bengal to do industries to bring technologies! Where went our Science Graduates, Post Graduates, doctorates? Our engineers? The state should not tolerate such kinds of hemorrhage. What should be the cure? The Agriculture industries, the small scale industries in large numbers; vocational training for graduates suitable for industries as human resources. These could have solved 70% of the job of the state and of the country, state nationalization of all manufacturing firms and industries that Fidel Castro did in Cuba. Were there not enough funds in reserve bank – the central bank currency? Where went dollars Pounds and Euros? Why so many enterprises operating at loss? Why closer approved by government? The ministers, MPs MLAs were in power to get rich and west Bengal started backward state in every aspect. Black money flooded in the country and ran a parallel economy. Ministers were mostly dishonest. MPs and MLAs were purchasable to pass any bill to come into laws that affected the common people at large. In center coalition government formed 

 My dear gentlemen and all civilized modern ladies, I am not at all joking with all you and I do perfectly know as son of an old wise and now diseased mouse (my political brain and all ideology grew for him and his friend) who lived his life with leftist mind and political ideal, that jokes are not always be so enough brilliant every where and every times and you must be aware that Marxists don’t believe in any jokes though they speak with jokes some times and with filthy and non civilized languages like mousse communicate with them when insulted or annoyed or feels dangers they bites and spreads plague even by dying. Gentlemen I’m always rather trembled by my inner heart mobilizing quarries why all these nasty things happened when West Bengal was ruled by leftist government and Marxist party for 35 years long?? Gentlemen will you be a little kind enough to answer for me( you are wise people with knowledge on civilization) for an instances want to cure men of their very old habit of greediness, directorship, likings for feudalism, selfishness, capitalism open market economy ( all are against the civilization & culture) for my mouse wiseness of near sixties and reform my wills as and in accordance to the modern society of these times but moral values decaying human society this times in cities, in towns, in metropolis, that, is it possible but also that is it at all desirable to reform a man who comes from a socialistic type commune structure or under ground mouse to a pro feudalism structure and so how to lead his married life in pseudo- capitalistic attitude by any change of habit or by any chaos or force? or living with incentive work forces for serving any private profitable health care, educational institute, diagnostic laboratory industries at cost of his/her own acquired knowledge, own long years gathered experiences , own intelligences ,endeavors, knowledge’s to fetch profit from any market for privatized what Sorojini and her family wanted always from Satya and so he fighted within him? Satya never believed that he had any kind of responsibility for any middle class and upper middle class society people-who ever he/she would be. Gentlemen may I ask humbly before all you another question? How do you know certainly, perfectly that such a kind of “metamorphosis or reformation” for privatization instead of nationalization to government is good, for benefit of any family structure or of a state or of a man? How do you know it definitely an open market economy in a state, liberalization of money flows in the market, black money in the market, SEZ and kenethian open market economy will be good for mankind? Not the communistic or socialistic economy? How do you consider that in Democracy every one has right to do every thing and do any thing what he or she likes, I do or dislikes to do. Gentlemen and all ladies I am eldest son of a wise mouse- an insulted mouse of course in a pro -feudal family structure controlled totally by women-and I decided then to keep myself away mentally, at least I knew that I could not change the old habits and I am perfectly conscious mouse of my own Intellectual Property Right and its all laws and sub laws and I never want it to be shared with any one in this world except my only daughter and my first degree blood relatives whose name I mentioned and if any one even try to infringe my anything those are under coverage of my IPR he or she civilized learned man/woman must be punished in capital form by laws and I know it very well that laws are made in India always for the foolish. Satya had always so “inertia” to join as a consultant Pathologist with much incentives in any private organizations or any private Medical colleges as per choices in West Bengal state or in any where in India or in foreign lands with multiple advices and forces of cultured Sorojini and her so called cultured caucus family many a times and often came over to Satya –when he had the interview call , but Satya always stacked to serve poor mice’s and economically ,socially suppressed mousses in public care health system and for all mousse form his own uncivilized , uncultured slums, consciousness and you all gentleman, all readers must know it that a legitimate fruit of such consciousness some times turn one people living in “inertia”, in isolation, facing back towards so called modern civilization , towards so called utopian cultures, towards mankind of definitions of pro-feudal , feudal, and capitalistic mind setup peoples i. e what I want to tell you, as a storyteller here, that if one surrenders to an utopian cultured peoples or family or system then your consciousness sits with hand in folded. All direct persons and all men of actions when are active under so called cultural system and civilized peoples or under a group’s of civilized or cultured people’s “choices and demands ” and they acts accordingly purposefully as because he /she/they are totally stupid one and limited. How to explain that? I am telling you! In consequence of his/her/ their limitations- of which awareness exist in, he/she/they take either immediate and secondary causes for primary ones and that is the way they persuade themselves more quickly and easily, then other people do that and they find an infallible foundation for their activity and their mind set are very easy and that is the chief thing. To begin to act anything, you must first have your mind completely at easy and no traces of doubt should be left in it- and they forget that. And what is civilization and what is culture that we human have acquired for thousands and thousands of years then? Did the civilization soften the human being? Human activities? I do think, at knocking age of my near sixty that only gain of civilization for humankind (who today care for mankind?) is the greater capacity of sensation. The all scientific inventions, all scientific discoveries and some landmark literatures- (all which are so far awarded Nobel Prizes) and nothing is absolute. Through development of sciences man came to finding of enjoyment to push the other man or his/her brother, his/her old parents in suffer, in struggle, in blood shedding, in quarrel, in wars, in nuclear weapons and civilization and cultures are all man made and they are so variable from local places to local family to family, village to town country to other lands and civilization & culture is totally depended on casts, religions and non sense religious belief. In old times man might had seen justice in quarrel between brothers and brothers, brothers and sister, father with sons, mother with daughters and daughter-in laws or between country versus country and they found justice in blood shed and with his conscience at peace exterminated those he might thought proper and now we think that blood shed is abominable and yet we engage ourselves in this abomination with much more energy. Even with AK 47 guns, mortars, missiles & nuclear weapons! How pity is this human being are!  See the example of Satya’s and one of brothers and ill fate of Bholababu’s family and analyze it very critically, mathematically, all happenings , all incidents, changing policies, environments , Bholabau’s basic idealism & rely nests on socialistic communistic of Karl’s Marx ,his once dictatorship to run his eleven members family in a commune joint family system, his lack of knowledge on his Intellectual Property Right laws( If he was in fact conscious of his IPR, value of his time, value of his endeavor he would not spend his valuable time(which is counted in modern society by terms of money) for a non existent party to grow in a locality or development of a local place and habitant refugees instead of development of his family members) , the role played by all new comers in his family - the all outsiders and starting dirty family politics by Sonali- a girl from feudal family system and then joining in politics Titos brutal wife, Seema and even Sorojini from a long distance of 45km as a team some times and gradual sinking of Bholababu’s rest family members towards a man made inevitable poverty, economic crisis, unhappiness and every thing were related then so purposefully, so mathematically with stepping of all newcomers family members from outside( gentlemen, I’m not here to blaming any persons in the new liberalized economy but I remind the excerpt of Albert Camus “ The Outsiders” and excerpt of the novel “ the Grass is Singing “ by late Doris Lessing or Madam Bravery of…. . All the authors are Nobel Prize winner in literature and both the book are world famous classics. The resultant vector forces of two forces , one that of Karl Marx or socialism or communism what ever you like it to say and other the capitalism or liberalization or pro- feudalism or feudalism what ever way you like to define it were the resultant force played also in Bholababu’s family structure that directly hit to suffer Dalia, Kausik,Rupak and Ritwik – and in spite they were enough brilliant, intelligent, hard workers laborer I must say , but they had no real scope beside darkness or struggled to face extreme poverty and thus they failed to achieve good educational supports, good schooling, failed to purchase necessary minimum books, and good school leaving or university leaving results—a suitable service in state of west Bengal though Satya purposefully prevented Rupak to do any services outside for his own sake and his achieved knowledge in higher mathematics, Theoretical physics, Astronomical sciences must not be leaked out before outer world beside Satya’s to use them in proper places and it was as Satya was highly conscious of Intellectual property Right Copy Right ,Patent Right laws and satya had completely political zed brain and he knew how to publish a research or hypothesis without breaking the real truth to reproduce and implement by others ( This knowledge was not present in any of Bholababu rest sons and a daughter)     Dear readers, if you consider and have a little bit of intelligences to vile the roots of the matter that how a loving family of a refugee of Bangladesh riot man are ruined gradually of men created and could hit the economic structure so seriously, not due to fault of any ism or governance of head of a family ( the head man tried his best to maintain a joint economic family structure- like all ants, sheep, rodents and mousse) but it was due to his sons-and in-spite his sons passed their earlier life, were brought up through poverty, but in unity and gentlemen if you are enough intelligent to understand Franz Kafka’s “Metamorphosis” whose morel was” every man & woman must pass his/her part of life through poverty and hardness to be perfect and gold” and of course these fellows knew what the morality and humanity is and what is a human being and you must be otherwise convinced that the fault was in introducing a new system “ Open market economy” in the family by the newcomers outsiders” that brought greediness, jealousy, chaos amongst brothers, concept of selfishness, unit family demands, self identity, isolation, neglecters, disrespect towards economically unstable and old ill peoples, attempting to attain individual property, prosperity, comforts and oppression towards others weaker people and that theoretical communism practices could not hold tightly all family members in peace and unity under one roof. There developed disparity in wealth and chances of betterment, education, health, food in every thing, quarrel amongst brother to brother, son with father, mother with child set in like a hidden flow and practicing individualism , all kinds of human values once were set up amongst Bholababu’s sons started thus to fade away. Non-issues became then big issues and subject of great disputes and behind the curtain were all new comers’ female characters playing their roles through their husband to crack the united joint family system. Gentlemen! May I again address you to remember junior “Mr. Gregor” of Franz Kafka’s Metamorphosis? Who was behind the curtain of all miseries being a giant insect crawling on wall and roof and final death of Mr. Gregor from starvation? Of course his fiancé who happened to be daughter of a mill owner, whose products Mr. Gregor used to sell in train compartment as a hawker and It was Gregor’s sister who sniffed it perfectly and cautioned Mr. Gregor’s parents and they believed her so much as she was from upper class society and in Satya’s parent family new comers were from a jotdar ( Land lord) sammadar family, a post colonial middle class unit family and two others with middle class village family with individual identity, politics, culture and educational system and Satya is at least convinced that these people never acted against real normal interest guaranteed by conclusions of reasons of family or in arithmetic mean calculations were certainly advantageous for Hindu lower socioeconomic family men and must always be a law for a family to run peacefully and also for a mankind in large when comes in question and I’m sure that in the arena of 21st century in 2014 you will raise finger point towards Satya that it might be a theoretical laws of logic of Marxist economics but not laws of modern economics in Open market liberalization, laws of modern cities, laws of development where people are educated so with university degrees diplomas and purchased with more money, where every things turned to be politicalized & privatized instead of nationalization by government , where internal markets became open to foreign internationals monopoly, where more than 53% population( more than two cores) in state of West Bengal lives below poverty line in hunger, poverty, suffer from tuberculosis, millions of child acts as a bonded labour and child trafficking is the rule ,millions dies of diseases starvation everywhere and millions take birth again and in a country/ state where parallel black money economy runs smoothly and un protested . One social malady that resolutely withstood the test of time in this country/ state is the issues of flow of black money .The accumulated flow of alleged tax evading Indian income slashed away in bank accounts located in tax havens lying beyond the reach of Indian tax authorities- is the true faults. The opposition bench in Indian parliament house irrespective of any political party occupying them never ceased to criticize the so called “incumbents” for their inability to recover the Indian black money from tax heavens, even its deliberate policies for protecting many persons by turning blind eyes towards the problem. Further the criticized often became the critic with fluctuations in electoral fortunes. Amidst this to avoid solving this problem of the parallel economy it rather acted as an alternate consistent nature- not too much to act, because it accurately diagnosed the diseases “ the corruption’ Every educated people in Indian town and cities is highly corrupted including me. Gentlemen what will you consider me now? A mad man obviously! My family in fact does consider me like this! Please allow me to defend this very mad man of nearly sixty- at least I’m now selected as Super Professor of “Faculty Row of America”! Top Professor of American Universities ( please forgive an edifice of this old mad man) with probable vast knowledge in sciences, Pathology, Medicine, Astronomy, Theoretical physics and people, students and all college colleagues consider me even today a moving text book of Robbins and Kumar’s text book in Human Pathology- am I really so? I (now satya) do completely agree with all you readers that every man and woman taking birth in this planet- the earth, pre-eminently and by instinct are surely animal (Of course there are exceptions), pre destined to strives for an or kinds of all earthen objects engaging himself/herself in various mathematics, literature, engineering, health care, medicine, agriculture works that is incessantly and eternally must be. They labors to construct roads, buildings, flats malls ion ox super markets jungle of bricks high speed train high towers, space stations, space ships wherever they may lead their ambitions and finally they do not consider where these roads will ultimately lead to him/her. They never think of the future as they can not visualize the future in three arrows of space-time dimensions. But future is always there and will be there and very intelligent saint persons may feel that dimensions” the Tradition of moon “or “the Tradition of Sun” and to me all these so called educated modernized men/women, all those wealthy men, all these prosperous successful men/women does mostly are nasty and dirty things for man kinds and all these they do to earn more and more black money from open market inflation economy , because he/she knows only his/her own interest to be satisfied and earthen things and fame can be purchased with those money only and when and if men/women would once become good and noble ( I don’t consider it may happen ever) and being enlightened his actual position in this vast eternal Universe and space time and how insignificant he or she is ( he/she was not before a successful fertilization of a women ovum with a single sperm amongst millions of sperms in battle in her fallopian tube after a successful intercourse and proper lodgment of that eight cells morale in the women uterine endometrium –( all are chance factor however ) and he/she will exist in this planet for a certain limited period- then dead ) and understanding his advantage in the good and nothing else and we all know that no one man can consciously acts against his or her interest except very few ! And perhaps all through thousands and thousands of year’s men, more the women acted only from her own interest to serve. What to be done with billons of facts that bear witness that men under always influences of a women being unconsciously or consciously and without understanding her real interest ( except during copulation in bed) have left them in the background curtain and rushed men on path that ultimately meet in chaos, in danger, quarrel, isolation , destructions , frastated love , suicide even great war perish and sinking in the darkness. Does a woman love? And what that love is? Even a woman is true enemy of another woman in the family even-unless she is a mother and it is the truth like death is the final truth for any living being or any living cell in this planet. The only role of any woman has its noble attitude- role of a mother- like any other animal’s role . Satya never understood why so called intellectual men/women of middle class or upper class, [so called they are educated], who never make or create any three dimensional objects ( new world) neither can grew crops in the fields and do always works with his/her brain cells all those abstracts things,- design, mathematics, physics, biology, economics, politics etc are passionate to be awarded as “intellectuals of a state ” but loves all kinds of destructions, chaos, wars ( there can be no dispute that dues some love for it also) because he/she is also probably & instructively attracted of possessing intellectualism awards & recognition from the family members – (owe how great he/she is!), neighbors, government officials , universities officials , a state or a nation level by hook or crook adapting by fair or unfair means and always they are taught to be in competitive moods and competing the edifice he is constructing .Who knows? Perhaps he also loves edifice for a distance and is by no means in love with it!. Gentlemen I am often also confused what the role of relationship between such intellectualism and awards by any institution or a state or a nation? Why the state demands so much civil from the intellectuals and is uneasy one? In fact gentleman, intellectual is a confusing term very difficult to pin down. It is a kind of hold all term that includes writers, scientists, doctors, engineers, and economists, thinkers drawn from different releams of scholarships or learning. But to common people discourse, a select dot of this variegated group emerges from its ivory towers to take part in discussing any issues be it in family, or in local village, or in an area, or in a state or in a country- and often the issue becomes controversial one non issues becomes then issues by them. Suppose in case of Bertrand Russell- when he is seen as an author of “Principa mathemetica” he is described as pure mathematician, but he is also known as greatest philosopher of 19th century and when he joins the campaign for nuclear disarmament he can be described as “intellectuals”. The term intellectualism is thus mostly political one and fuzzy before me and elector public over tone. The intellectual‘s natural self positioning is that of a critic especially of the family or an local area or a state and thus to appear as the conscience of the so called civil people/state/nation. The state or local government is well within its right to honor an individual/persons who has done for the local area or for a state some kind of services, but gentlemen most scholars, researchers, scientists and writers do not do their work neither in the services of people nor for the state nor for the people nor for nation to which he/she belongs. At least I don’t and write. I work for my own compulsion, sake, my own creative urges, my own problem solving, the keenness to discover and some thing new and so I consider and strongly belief that no other people, no state, no nation can stand in between my creation and should have no right on my any works without my written permissions or can do any critics or can copy any thing or implement any thing even a word and that is what is known as Intellectual property Right. The people what should do recognize and appreciate his then work and such recognition or appreciation comes in ways of my works and a scholar, a researcher or a scientist can aspire to no higher award than appreciation and recognition by his/her peers only- none else.

Chapter-6                            

 I am the angel of Death

6 Im death , rather you can tell me angel of death, as one faces me must in reality, one fine time in this globe, when an animal takes birth. Satya correctly said I’m the only truth in this Globe. I’m the end point of any animal’s life. From me, starts extreme deep darkness and silence starts. And you learned, Satya told you, “deep and endless darkness, endless silence is our God”. So I’m also part and parcel of our God! Rather you can say me I ‘m an angel representation, from our God “Yam”according Hinduism. You Know him, our only king, our only Sultan of the country of death is Yam! The Hinduism, tells people such! Muslim’s Koran tell it Behest and their angels of death Michael (Arabic: ميخائيل, Mikhail ميكائيل, Mikael ), Who is one of the Archangels in Islam, and one of the two archangels mentioned in the Qur'an, alongside Jibreel (Gabriel). Michael was an archangel in Jewish, Christian, and Islamic tradition. He is viewed as the field commander of the Army of God .Satan to the Hebrews. Samkhya is the oldest of the orthodox philosophical systems in Hinduism. Samkhya is a strongly dualistic philosophy that postulates everything in reality stems from purusha (Sanskrit: self, atma or soul) and prakriti (matter, creative agency or energy). There are many living souls (Jeevatmas) and they possess consciousness. Prakriti consists of three dispositions known as qualities (gunas): activity (rajas), inactivity (tamas) and steadiness (sattva) which arises when the two other gunas are held in equilibrium. Because of the intertwined relationship between the soul and these dispositions, an imbalance in disposition causes the world to evolve. Liberation of the soul happens when it realizes that it is above and beyond these three dispositions. Samkhya denies the existence of God .  Western dualism deals with the distinction between the mind and the body, whereas in Samkhya it is between the soul and matter. The concept of the atma (soul) is different from the concept of the mind. Soul is absolute reality that is all-pervasive, eternal, indivisible, attribute less, pure consciousness. It is non-matter and is beyond intellect. Originally, Samkhya was not theistic, but in confluence with Yoga it developed a theistic variant. 

 Different religions and different belief often tried to pictured myself in the frame by the masterly miniaturists. But I agree, with all oldest and masterly miniaturist of the Globe, It is very difficult to illustrate a portrait picture of mine, the death himself with all agony, relief or death angel, in the most perfect way, by even all, most expertised and skilled, miniaturists. And if the picture, is to be made perfect one picture, it ought to be understand what I am in minds of different cultures people, in different religions , at different times, in different belief and different rituals along the corner of Globe, and to be drawn at least few hundred thousands times before a illustrator can draw me perfectly, no matter, how the miniaturist may be masterfully when he tries to paint a object like me for the first time and for his one life time. Because, for this mastery, the miniaturists ought to be acquainted with death himself ought to be handshaked with him then. And so it becomes now my duty, as the storyteller I am also, let me give some idea about myself in different times and different religions. Let me first start with Hinduism as it is story of Satya. And satya is a Hindu Soul. His family is Hindu and Brahmin family. Of course Satya’s Papa Bholababu was though a marxcist, and a marxcist do not believe in casteism, soul , God, after life, reincarnation, soul mate, religion and Dharma, BholaBabu however had finer feeling of these senses and he also believed in God in later part of his life and he will in future time die by 4 years of time in 2009 ,as bed ridden and he will so meet me in the state General Hospital of Sodepur,

  I’m in Hinduism is a demon angel of my lord Yam. And Im here twin brothers equipped with spiky hammer like Gada. And I am portrayed here as a demon like angel, seizing one’s life from his heart,almost by force and unexpectedly before all Hindus. Why they have portrayed me, like this, I don’t actually know. It is probably the oldest of old miniaturist who portrayed me like this and no body then tried to add or modify that. Let me say, first clarify it, that there remains a point that Hindus die like a Hindu” and Muslims like Muslim, jain like jains, Buddhits like Bhuddhism Christian lik Christians and so potrait of lord of death and angels of death may be different and there are other angels of death, in fields of death. I am not alone! You can say and also my first question is what that Hinduism is? I asked that question to our Grand grand grand father ’ Mr. Chitra Gupta” with white long beard who remains always busy with our lord Yam and he maintains a lists of all hindu’s Soul and their Karmas as a good soul or a bad soul. because reincarnation in after life will depend on it and Hindus belief in Reincarnation. And our Grand grand pa was so pleased to gave me a lecture on that day , that he got a chance to teach me in front of our lord and that I considered him as my teacher. Let me, first explain that! .The very word Hindu was originally derived from a language named in Sanskrit- an oldest language, and it was a word Sindhu, -the historic local appellation for the Indus river in the north western part of the Indian subcontinent. The old Grand grand pa, told me the word Hindu was first used by those Arab invaders and then went further west by the Arabic term al-Hind, referring to the land of the people, who lived across the very river Indus. Originally, Hindu was a secular term, which was used to describe all inhabitants the Indian subcontinent or Hindustan, irrespective of their religious affiliation. Our Grand grand pa had also probably knowledge in english history too. The communist CPM party, once declared in West Bengal, teaching in English in primary section not required, amongst the students of Government and Government aided schools and they abolished teaching in primary sections- They might did blander, and they say they always do blander in their experiments several and several years later, but our Lord, Yam did never. He knew the best of best knowledge are written in English and the language is universal. He continued his teaching, The term Hinduism, was introduced into the English language probably in the 19th century to denote the religious, philosophical, and cultural traditions native only to India. The beliefs and practices of the pre-classical era (1500–500 BCE) were called the "historical Vedic religion". Modern Hinduism grew out of the Vedas, the oldest of which is the Rigveda, which was dated to 1700–1100 BCE. The Vedas centers on worship of deities such as Indra, Varuna and Agni, and on the Soma ritual. Fire-sacrifices, called yajña were then performed, and Vedic mantras chanted but no temples or icons were built. And thus no trace of vedic civilizations are found in terms of mandir or temple. The oldest Vedic traditions exhibit strong similarities to Zoroastrianism and other Indo-European religions. They contain many mythological stories about the rulers and wars of ancient India, and are interspersed with religious and philosophical treatises. And wars used to kill many many people and that time I had to do much labour, I recalled. The later Purans recount tales about devas and devis, their interactions with humans and their battles against demons. Three major movements underpinned the naissance of a new epoch of Hindu thought: the advent and spread of Upanishadic, Jaina, and Buddhist philosophico-religious thought throughout the broader Indian landmass. Mahavira (24th Tirthankar of Jains) and Buddha (founder of Buddhism) taught that to achieve moksha or nirvana, one did not have to accept the authority of the Vedas or the caste system. Buddha himself went a step further and claimed that the existence of a Self/soul or God was unnecessary. Buddhism peaked during the reign of Asoka the Great of the Mauryan Empire, who unified the Indian subcontinent in the 3rd century BCE. After 200 CE several schools of thought were formally codified in Indian philosophy, including Samkhya, Yoga, Nyaya, Vaisheshika, Purva-Mimamsa and Vedanta. Charvaka, the founder of an atheistic materialist school, came to the fore in North India in the sixth century BCE. Between 400 BCE and 1000 CE Hinduism expanded at the expense of Buddhism . Sanskritic culture went into decline after the end of the Gupta period. The early medieval Purans helped then to establish a religious mainstream among the pre-literate tribal societies undergoing acculturation. The tenets of Brahmanic Hinduism and of the Dharmashastras underwent a radical transformation at the hands of the Purana composers, resulting in the rise of a mainstream "Hinduism" that overshadowed all earlier traditions. Hinduism as you know today, it can be subdivided into a number of major currents. Of the historical division into six darshanas, only two schools, Vedanta and Yoga survived. The main divisions of Hinduism today are Vaishnavism, Shaivism, Smartism and Shaktism. Hinduism also recognizes numerous divine beings subordinate to the Supreme Being or regards them as lower manifestations of it. Other notable characteristics of modern Hinduism include a strong belief in reincarnation theory [ after life] and karma, as well as in personal duty towards his or her parents, dependents, disadvantageous, destitute poor people, or called it dharma. So according to our grand grandpa Hinduism, in an attempt to accommodate a variety of views on a rather complex subject: Folk Hinduism, -as based on local traditions and cultures of local deities at a communal level and spanning back to prehistoric times or at least prior to written Vedas. Vedic Hinduism as still being practiced by traditionalist brahmins (for example shrautin ). Vedantic Hinduism, for example Advaita (Smartism), as based on the philosophical approach of the Upanishads. Yogic Hinduism, especially that based on the Yoga Sutra of Patanjali. "Dharmic" Hinduism or "daily morality", based on the notion of Karma, and upon societal norms such as Hindu marriage a girl. The basic philosophy, scientific purpose of marriage in Hinduism is nothing but to maintain the dynasty by propagating of gene of a person. And thus todays gene clones Customs . Bhakti or devotionalism, especially as in Vaishnavism. Hinduism is sometimes and often characterized by the belief in reincarnation (samsara), determined by the law of karma, and the idea that salvation is freedom from this cycle of repeated birth and death. However, other religions of the region, such as Buddhism, Jainism and Sikhism, also believe in karma, outside the scope of Hinduism. Hinduism is therefore viewed as the most complex of all of the living, historical world religions. Despite its complexity, Hinduism is not only one of the numerically largest faiths, but is also the oldest living major tradition on earth, with roots reaching back into prehistory. Prominent themes in Hindu beliefs include (but are not restricted to), Dharma (ethics/duties), Samsāra (The continuing re-cycle of birth, life, death and rebirth), Karma (action and subsequent reaction), Moksha (liberation from samsara), and the various Yogas (paths or practices). Hinduism is a diverse system of thought with beliefs spanning monotheism, polytheism, panentheism, pantheism, monism, atheism, agnosticism, gnosticism among others;and its concept of God is very complex and depends upon each particular tradition and philosophy. It is sometimes referred to as henotheistic (i.e., involving devotion to a single God while also accepting the existence of others), but any such term is an overgeneralization.[ Most Hindus believe that the spirit or soul exist— the true "self" of every person, called the ātma— is eternal-as Satya’s father had belief such .According to the monistic/pantheistic theologies of Hinduism (such as Advaita Vedanta school), this Atman is ultimately indistinct from Brahma, the supreme spirit. Hence, these schools are called non-dualist. The goal of life, according to the Advaita school, is to realize that one's ātman is identical to Brahman, the supreme soul.The Upanishads state that whoever becomes fully aware of the ātman as the innermost core of one's own self realizes an identity with Brahman and thereby reaches moksha (liberation or freedom) The Hindu scriptures refer to celestial entities called Devas(or devī in feminine form; devatā used synonymously for Deva in Hindi), "the shining ones", which may be translated into English as "Gods" or "heavenly beings''. The devas are an integral part of Hindu culture and are depicted in art, portrait architecture and through icons, and many mythological stories about them are related in the scriptures, particularly in Indian epic poetry and the Puranas. They are, however, often distinguished from Ishvara or Creator of the universe, a supreme personal god, with many Hindus worshiping Ishvara in one of its particular manifestations (ostensibly separate deities) as their iṣṭa devata, or chosen ideal [ Satya’s mother had a belief of her own Ista Devta Vishnu and Onkarnath”. The choice of iṣṭa devata is a matter of individual preference, and of regional and as per family traditions.Hindu epics and the Purans relate several episodes of the descent of Supreme God to Earth in corporeal form to restore dharma to society and to guide humans towards moksha. Such an incarnation is called an Avatar. The most prominent avatars are of Vishnu and include Rama (the protagonist in Ramayana) and Krishna (a central figure in the epic Mahabharata Karma translates literally as action, work, or deed, and can be described as the "moral law of cause and effect"] others many Avatar came in India’s land and of them Chaitanya, Ramkrisna, Sai baba, sitaram Das Onkarnath are some important. According to the Upanishads, an individual, known as the jiva-atma, develops sanskaras (impressions) from actions, whether physical or mental. The linga sharira, a body more subtle than the physical one but less subtle than the soul, retains impressions, carrying them over into the next life, establishing a unique trajectory for the individual.Thus, the concept of a universal, neutral, and never-failing 

Karma intrinsically relates to reincarnation as well as to one's personality, characteristics, and family. Karma binds together the notions of free will and one‘s souls destiny in the kingdom of dead.This cycle of action, reaction, birth, death and rebirth is a continuum process, we call it together samsar in Globe. The notion of reincarnation and karma has a strong premise in Hindu thought. The Bhagavad Gita stated that: Samsar  provides a person all ephemeral pleasures, bodily pleasure, which lead people to desire with him or her for a further rebirth through a Yoni[vagina], so as to enjoy further the earthen pleasures of a perishable carbon hydrogen molecule made body. However, escaping one from the Maya[ false or magic land] world of samsar ,brings  through moksha is believed to ensure long lasting happiness and peace of Atman. It is thought, that after several reincarnations, an atman eventually seeks unity with the final cosmic spirit Paramatman. The lord Vishnu. So,the ultimate goal of life, if you ask me, I shall tell it that in Hinduism, satya’s father Bholababu told him once, it w as referred as moksha, nirvana or samadhi, is understood in several different ways: as the realization of one's union with God or Paramatman, as the realization of one's eternal relationship with God, as the realization of the unity of all existence, perfectness in un-selfishness and knowledge of the Self or Who I am , as the attainment of perfect mental peace through all these ulterior and most respectful phylosophy and knowledge of Self , and as detachment from all worldly desires. Such a realization can only liberate one from samsar and he or she becomes then purest soul and ends his or her the cycle of rebirth. Due to belief in indestructibility of the soul, death is deemed insignificant with respect to the cosmic self. Thence, a person who has no desire for earthly matters and wealth or ambition left behind and the person who never felt responsibilities for remaining in life or one’s affected by a terminal disease may embrace death by Prayopavesa and gains Moksha.The exact conceptualization of moksha differed among the various Hindu schools of thought. For example, Advaita Vedanta holds that after attaining moksha , an atma no longer identifies itself as an individual atma but as identical with Brahman, The God in all respects. The followers of Dvaita (dualistic) schools rather identify themselves as part of Brahman, and after attaining moksha expect to spend eternity in a deva lok (heaven), in the company of their chosen form of Ishvara. Thus, it is said that the followers of dvaita wish to "taste sugar", while the followers of Advaita wish to "become sugar" and so Satya prayed to Brahman that his mother’s Atman must attain moksha and can spend eternity at heaven mixed with Brahman.

 However the followers of dualistic schools consider God “Brahma” as a supreme being of this universe, who however possessed all personality, as Vishnu, Shiva, or Shakti. The ātma according to this school, dependent on God, while moksha depends on one's love and daily worship towards God and on God's grace. When “God “is viewed as the Supreme personal being (rather than as the infinite principle), God is called then Ishvara ("The Lord"), Bhagavan ("The Auspicious One") or Parameshwara ("The Supreme Lord of this Universe"). However, interpretations of Ishvara varied extremely, ranging from non-belief in Ishvara by followers of Mimamsakas, to identifying Brahman and Ishvara as one, as in Advaita. In the majority of traditions of Vaishnavism, He is Vishnu, God, and the text of Vaishnava scriptures identify him as “ Lord Krishna”, sometimes referred to as “Shyam Bhagavan”. There were then also schools like the Samkhya which had atheistic leanings. The vast majority of Hindus engaged in religious rituals on a daily basis. Today however the percentage remained a few. Most village Hindus wives and girls observe their religious rituals at home, like Satya’s mother did it every evening. But observation of rituals greatly varied amongst regions, villages, socio economic class and individual’s belief. Devout Hindus perform daily chores such as worshiping at dawn after bathing (usually at a family shrine, and typically includes lighting a lamp and offering some kind of foodstuffs before the images of deities), recitation from religious scripts, singing devotional rhymes, meditation, chanting mantras, reciting scriptures etc. A notable feature in religious ritual is the division between purity and pollution. Religious acts , presuppose some degree of impurity or defilement for the practitioner, which must be overcome or neutralised before or during ritual procedures. Purification, usually done with water, is thus a typical feature of most religious actions. Other characteristics included a belief in efficacy of sacrifice and concept of merit, gained through the performance of charity or good works for disadvatageous and poor individual’s family people and local people, that would accumulate over life time and would reduce sufferings in the next world of deads kingdom or in reincarnation. Vedic rites of fire-oblation (yajna) are now only occasionally practiced, although they are once highly revered in theory. In Hindu burial or sradhya ceremonies, however, the yajña and chanting of Vedic mantras are still the norm in sradha. The rituals, upacharas, however changed a lot with time. For instance, in the past few hundred years some rituals, such as sacred dance for departed souls and music offerings in the standard Sodasa Upacharas set prescribed by the Agama Shastra, were replaced today by the offerings of rice and sweets. Most Hindu traditions revere his or her living body of religious or sacred literature, in Vedas, although there are exceptions. Some Hindu religious traditions regard particular rituals as essential for salvation, but a variety of views on this co-exist. Some Hindu philosophies postulate a theistic ontology of creation, of sustenance, and of destruction of the universe, yet some Hindus a re atheist. Objectives of human life Classical Hindu thought accepts the following objectives of human life, that which is sought as human purpose, aim, or end, is known as the* puruṣārtha *Dharma ("righteousness, ethikos") *Artha ("livelihood, wealth") *Kāma (" all earthen sensual pleasure") *Mokhṣa ("liberation, freedom from samsara)")

From Ramayana, Krish, Cremation in electric oven, Smasan and burning of human corpse in open air

 A dead body or corpus in Hindu undergoes Antesti or Cremation –a process of reducing dead bodies to its basic chemical compounds in the form of gases and elementary particle form (Quark form) and in few small bone fragments those can be turned into carbon ashes. This is accomplished through burning—at very high temperature, vaporization and oxidation. Cremation may serve as a funeral or post funeral rite that is an alternative to the interment of an intact body in a casket. Cremated remains, which are not a health risk, may be buried or immured in memorial sites or cemeteries, or they may be legally retained by relatives or dispersed in a variety of ways and locations.In many countries cremation is usually done in a crematory (or crematorium), but others may prefer different methods. An example was and still is the common practice of open-air cremation inWest Bengal and in Orissa of India. Antyesti or Hindu funeral rites, also referred to as Antim Sanskar, or Antim Jatra [final journey] is an important Sanskar, sacrament of Hindu society. Hinduism and Jainism are notable for not only allowing but prescribing cremation. Cremation in India is first attested in the Cemetery H culture (from ca. 1900 B.C.), considered the formative stage of Vedic civilization. The Rigveda contains a reference to the emerging practice, in RV 10.15.14, where the forefathers "both cremated (agnidagdhá-) and uncremated (ánagnidagdha-)" are invoked. Cremation is forbidden by Islam, which has specific rites for the treatment of the body after death.The Bahá'í Faith forbids cremation, except when required by lawTraditionally, Zoroastrianism disavows cremation or burial to preclude pollution of fire or earth. The traditional method of corpse disposal is through ritual exposure in a "Tower of Silence'', but both burial and cremation are increasingly popular alternatives. Some contemporary figures of the faith have opted for cremation. Parsi-Zoroastrian singer Freddie Mercury of the group Queen was cremated after his death. Extensive texts of such rites are available, particularly in the Garuda Purana. There is wide inconsistency in theory and practice, and the procedures differ from place to place. Further, these rites also differ depending on the caste, jāti, social group, and the economic status of the deceased person. Before the dominance of Vedic Aryan culture in the Indian subcontinent, human bodies were either exposed to the elements of nature, and to the birds[ now followed in Jain customs], or buried in the earth{ muslims or christian] , in the bunk of river, and sometimes a cave or an urn. Centuries together, cremation became the usual mode of disposal of the corpus, with certain exceptions – the exceptions being bodies of infants, yogis, sadhus, and a few others. Cremation became popular due to the Hindu concept of detachment of one’s soul from the body at the time of death, and the transmigration of the soul from one body to another. Hindu funeral rites may generally be divided into four stages:1) The rituals and rites to be performed when the person is believed to be on the death bed. ;2) Rites which accompany the disposal of the dead body. ;3) Rites which enable the soul of the dead to transit successfully from the stage of a ghost (preta) to the realm of the ancestors, the Pitras. ;4) Rites performed in honor of the Pitras. 

Procedures for cremation also varied from place to place in India. Immediately after the death, the body is to be placed on the floor or on a cot with the head of the deceased pointing towards the south, which is the direction of the dead’s kingdom according to Hindus. An oil lamp is then lit and placed near the body, this lamp is kept burning continuously for the first three days , following one’s death in a house. In Hinduism, the dead body is considered to be a symbol of great impurity; hence minimal physical contact is maintained, perhaps to avoid the spread of infections or germs. Most often for upper class society, the body is bathed by purified water, and then dressed in new clothes, if the dead is a male or a widow female then generally white clothes are used,whereas if the dead is a married woman with her husband still alive or a young unmarried girl, then the body is dressed either in red or yellow. Sacred ash (bhasma) is applied on the forehead of the deceased, especially for the worshippers of Lord Shiva (Saivites), otherwise sandalwood paste is applied on the forehead, if the dead was a worshipper for Lord Vishnu (Vaishnava). Further, a few drops of the holy Ganges water may be put into the mouth of the deceased ,so that the soul may attain liberation, also a few leaves of the holy basil (tulsi- who himself is lord Vishnu) are placed on the right side of the dead body. The body then may be adorned with jewels, and placed lying on a stretcher, with the head pointing towards the south. Sometimes the body may be kept in a sitting position too. The stretcher is adorned with different flowers including roses, jasmine, and marigolds, and the body is almost covered with the flowers. Thereafter, the close relatives of the deceased person carry the stretcher on their shoulders to the cremation ground. If it is located at a distance, traditionally the stretcher is placed on a cart pulled by animals like bullocks in villages. Nowadays vehicles like trucks are also used. The cremation ground is called Shmashan (in Sanskrit), and traditionally it is located near a river, if not on the river bank itself. There, a pyre is prepared, on which the corpse is laid with its feet facing southwards, so that the dead person can walk in the direction of the dead’s kingdom . The jewels, if any, are removed. Thereafter, the chief mourner (generally the eldest son-as in story it is Satya) walks around the pyre seven times keeping the corpse to his left. While walking, he sprinkles holy water and sometimes ghee onto the pyre from a vessel. He then sets the pyre alight with a torch of flame. The beginning of the cremation heralds the start of the traditional mourning period, which usually ends on the morning of the 11th-13th day after death. When the fire consumes the body, which may take a few hours, the mourners return home. During this mourning period the family of the dead, are bound by many rules and regulations of ritual impurity. Immediately after the cremation the entire family is expected to have a bath. One or two days after the funeral, the chief mourner returns to the cremation ground to collect the mortal remains and put them in an urn. These remains are then immersed in a river. Those who can afford it may go to select places like Varanasi, Haridwar, Allahabad, Sri Rangam and Kanya Kumari to perform this rite of immersion of mortal remains. The preta-karma is an important aspect of Hindu funeral rites, and its objective is to facilitate the migration of the soul of the dead person from the status of a preta (ghost or spirit) to the abode of the ancestors (Pitrs). It is believed still days that if these stages of funeral rites is not performed correctly or performed incorrectly, the soul of the dead person shall become a ghost (bhuta). The body is so cleaned up by pouring water over it. The water is poured by sons and daughters. Then it is draped in a fresh, washed cloth. The relatives put uncooked rice over the mouth of the deceased. The karta ("doer", who performs the rites) has a quick bath (no soap, etc). Sits on the ground in the wet clothes. He wears only a single cloth. The purohit says the mantras and the karta follows them. The body is then lifted and kept in the funeral van. The grandson carries a ghee-flame and takes a few steps and the van follows. Then the van speeds up and reaches the cremation ground. The purohit chants the mantras and the karta follows him. Relatives and friends visit and offer their condolences. The host is not supposed to welcome them. The relatives silently go off without saying goodbye. The box containing the body is placed in the retort and incinerated at a temperature of 760 to 1850 °C (1400 to 2900 °F) During the cremation process, a large part of the body (especially the organs) and other soft tissue are vaporized and oxidized by the intense heat; gases released are discharged through the exhaust system. The process usually takes 90 minutes to two hours, with larger bodies taking longer time. The ash remaining represents very roughly 3.5% of the body's original mass (2.5% in children). Because the weight of dry bone fragments is so closely connected to skeletal mass, their weight varies greatly from person to person. Because many changes in body composition (such as fat and muscle loss or gain) do not affect the weight of cremated remains, their weight can be more closely predicted from the person's height and sex than from their simple weight. Ashes of adults can be said to weigh from 4 pounds (1.8 kg) to 6 pounds (2.7 kg), but the first figure is roughly the figure for women and the second for men. Cremated remains are returned to the next of kin in a rectangular clay or plastic container, contained within a further cardboard box or velvet sack, or in an urn if the family had already purchased one. An official certificate of cremation prepared under the authority of the crematorium accompanies the remains, and if required by law, the permit for disposition of human remains, which must remain with the cremated remains. Cremated remains can be kept in an urn, stored in a special memorial building (columbarium), buried in the ground at many locations or sprinkled on a special field, mountain, or in river or in the sea. In addition, there are several services in which the cremated remains will be scattered in a variety of ways and locations. Some examples are via a helium balloon, through fireworks, shot from shotgun shells, or scattered from an airplane. One service sends a lipstick-tube sized sample of the cremated remains into low earth orbit, where they remain for years (but not permanently) before re-entering the atmosphere. Another company claims to turn part of the cremated remains into synthetic diamonds that can then be made into jewelry. Cremated remains may also be incorporated, with urn and cement, into part of an artificial reef, or they can also be mixed into paint and made into a portrait of the deceased. A portion of the cremated remains may be retained in a specially designed locket known as cremation jewelry. The cremated remains may also be entombed. Most cemeteries will grant permission for burial of cremated remains in occupied cemetery plots that have already been purchased or are in use by the families disposing of the cremated remains without any additional charge or oversight. The final disposition depends on the personal wishes of the deceased as well as their cultural and religious beliefs. Some religions will permit the cremated remains to be sprinkled or kept at home. Some religions, such as Roman Catholicism, insist on either burying or entombing the remains. Hinduism obliges the closest male relative (son, grandson, etc.) of the deceased to immerse the cremated remains in the holy river Ganges, preferably at the holy city of Triveni Sangam, Allahabad, or Varanasi or Haridwar, India. The Sikhs and Punjabi Hindus immerse the remains in Sutlej, usually at Sri Harkiratpur. In southern India, the ashes are immersed in the river Kaveri at Paschima vahini in Srirangapattana at a stretch where the river flows from east to west, depicting the life of a human being from sunrise to sunset. In Japan and Taiwan, the remaining bone fragments are given to the family and are used in a burial ritual before final interment. The rites generally last for eleven days- thirteen days, at the end of which the preta is believed to join the abode of the ancestors. Thereafter, they are worshipped during the 'sraddha' ceremonies. Shraaddha {Death Anniversary} is a Sanskrit word which literally means anything or any act that is performed with all sincerity and faith . In the Hindu religion, it is the ritual that one performs to pay homage to one’s 'ancestors' (Sanskrit: Pitṛs), especially to one’s dead parents. Conceptually, it is a way for people to express heartfelt gratitude and thanks towards their parents and ancestors, for having helped them to be what they are. It also can be thought of as a "day of remembrance." It is performed for both the father and mother separately, on the days they became deceased.In practice, the karta (person who performs shraaddha) invites Brahmanaas (individuals who are considered to be very noble heart, soul, worthy, knowledgeable, etc.) that day, imagines they are his/her parent, performs a homa, serves them with sumptuous food,and treats them with all hospitality and finally serves “pinda pradaana”. (pinda—balls made of rice, given as offerings to the Pitṛs).. Since this is one of the most important and noble “Saṃskāras” (rituals meant to cleanse the mind and soul) that the Hindu sages have envisaged, it is imperative that the performer of the ritual understands what he or she is doing. Only then will the true intent of the ritual be fulfilled and the performer of the ritual feel completely gratified. Else, the ritual becomes just a mechanical exercise for one’s part. Many religions discourage cremations til days. The Roman Catholic Church's discourage cremation stemmed from several ideas:* first, they consider the body, is the instrument through which the sacraments are received, *is itself a sacramental, holy object;*second, that as an integral part of the human person, it should be disposed of in a way that honors and reverences it, and many early practices involved with disposal of dead bodies were viewed as pagan in origin or an insult to the body; and *third, that it constituted a denial of the resurrection of the body. *Cremation was forbidden because it might interfere with God's ability to resurrect the body; however, this was refuted as early as Minucius Felix, in his dialogue Octavius.Cremation was, in fact, never forbidden in and of itself; even in Medieval Europe, cremation was practiced in situations where there were multitudes of corpses simultaneously present, such as after a battle, after a pestilence or famine, and where there was an imminent fear of diseases spreading from the corpses, since individual burials with digging graves would take too long and body decomposition would begin before all the corpses had been interred.Beginning in the middle ages, and even more so in the 18th century and later, rationalists and classicists began to advocate cremation again as a statement denying the resurrection and/or the afterlife, although the pro-cremation movement more often than not took care to address and refute theological concerns about cremation in their works.Sentiment within the Catholic Church against cremation became hardened in the face of the association of cremation with "Professed enemies of God." Rules were made against cremation,which were softened in the 1960s. The Catholic Church still officially prefers the traditional burial or entombment of the deceased, but cremation is now permitted as long as it is not done to express a refusal to believe in the resurrection of the body. Current Catholic liturgical regulations requires that, if requested by the family of the deceased, the cremation must not take place until after the funeral Mass. This way the body may be present for the mass so that it, symbolizing the person, may receive blessings, be the subject of prayers in which it is mentioned, and since the body's presence "better expresses the values which the Church affirms in those (funeral) rites (or mass)." Once the mass itself is concluded, the body could be cremated and a second service could be held at the crematorium or cemetery where the cremated remains are to be interred just as for a body burial.Although "The Church clearly prefers and urges that the body of the deceased be present for the funeral rites,...Sometimes, however, it is not possible for the body to be present for the funeral mass. When extraordinary circumstances (emphasis added) make the cremation of a body the only feasible choice, pastoral sensitivity must be exercised....In other words, cremation is discouraged and funeral masses with cremated remains present is not permitted in keeping with the truth of the sign in the liturgical action. This is because, ashes are the sign of the corruption of the human body, and thus inadequately represent the character of ‘sleeping’ awaiting the resurrection. Furthermore, it is the body, not the ashes, that receives liturgical honors, because through baptism it has become a temple of the Spirit of God. It is of greatest interest to keep the truth of the sign, so that both the liturgical catechesis and the very celebration may be held truthfully and fruitfully. Therefore, if the body of the deceased cannot be brought to church for the celebration of the funeral mass, it is allowed to celebrate the same mass, whenever it be permitted, even if the body of the deceased is absent, according to the rules to be observed for the celebration in the presence of the body.In 1997 the Vatican's Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments granted an indult to allow for "...the celebration of the Funeral Liturgy, including Mass, in the presence of the cremated remain being made less rare, although still not preferred, in the Latin Rite dioceses of the United States of America. In order for it to be allowed certain qualifications must be met. These qualifications include: 1) the cremation has not be inspired by motives contrary to Christian teaching such as respect for the body or the resurrection of the body. 2) the local "...bishop (judges) it is pastorally appropriate to celebrate the liturgy for the dead, with or without Mass, with the ashes present, taking into account the concrete circumstances in each individual case, and in harmony with the spirit and precise content of the current canonical and liturgical norms." In other words, in the USA there is no guarantee that in every case of a cremation prior to the Church service taking place will receive a Funeral Mass. This indult does not mention other rites, dioceses, or nations.When a Funeral Liturgy had to be celebrated with the cremated remains present ,they must be taken in worthy vessel and disposed in holy water preferably in a river amongst the hindus. Our Grand grandpa, and teacher told me that however the final disposition depends on the personal wishes of the deceased as well as their cultural and religious beliefs and there is no bar on it. But it is always better with the concept in Hinduism that obliges the closest male relative (son, grandson, etc.) of the deceased to immerse the cremated remains in the holy river Ganges, preferably at the holy city of Triveni Sangam, Allahabad, or Varanasi or Haridwar, in India. The spirit of the deceased then gets nirban .The Sikhs and Punjabi Hindus immerse their remains in Sutlej, usually at Sri Harkiratpur. In southern India, the ashes are immersed in the river Kaveri at Paschima vahini in Srirangapattana at a stretch where the river flows from east to west, depicting the life of a human being from sunrise to sunset and or these may be placed on small prepared table or stand located in the space normally occupied by the coffin. In Goa, the usual funeral prayers and practices are then to be adapted to suit the occasion in memory of the diseased, for example prayers which explicitly refer to the body present under normal circumstances would need to be changed.Regardless of the location and funeral liturgy, or lack thereof, the Church still specifies requirements for the revenant disposition of ashes, normally that the ashes are to be buried or entombed in an appropriate container, such as an urn (rather than scattered or preserved in the family home). Catholic cemeteries today, regularly receive cremated remains, and many have columbaria.Protestant churches were in past times, much more welcoming of use of cremation and at a much earlier date than the Catholic Churches; pro-cremation sentiment was not unanimous among Protestants, however.The first crematoria in the Protestant countries were built in 1870s, and in 1908, the Dean and Chapter of Westminster Abbey—one of the most famous Anglican churches—required that remains be cremated for burial in the abbey's precincts. Scattering, or "strewing," is an acceptable practice in many Protestant denominations, and some churches have their own "garden of remembrance" on their grounds in which remains can be scattered. Other groups also support cremation. These include the Seventh-day Adventist Church.. On the other hand, some branches of Christianity opposed strongly the cremation, including some minority Protestant groups and Orthodox community. Most notably, the Eastern Orthodox and Oriental Orthodox Churches forbid cremation. Exceptions were made for circumstances, where it may not be avoided (when civil authority demanded it, or in epidemics) or if it may be sought for good cause, but when a cremation was willfully chosen for no good cause by the one who is deceased, he or she was not then permitted a funeral in the church and may also be permanently excluded from liturgical prayers for the departed. In Orthodoxy, cremation was a rejection of the dogma of the general resurrection, and as such was viewed harshly. Mr. Chitragupta continued his valuable lecture for me that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) in past decades had certain leaders who said that cremation is discouraged, but not expressly forbidden. In the 1950s, Apostle Bruce R. McConkie wrote that "only under the most extraordinary and unusual circumstances' ' would cremation be consistent with LDS teachings. More recent LDS publications have provided instructions for how to dress the deceased when they have received their temple endowments (and thus wear temple garments) prior to cremation for those wishing to do so, or in countries where the law required cremation. Jehovah's Witnesses publications had stated, "Cremation is not condemned by Jehovah. ...Something that might influence a person’s decisions in making these arrangements, however, was the way that the local community views funeral customs. Those who abided by Bible principles would certainly not want to do anything that would cause unnecessary offense to their neighbors.''Cremation dated to at least 20,000 years ago in the archaeological record with the Mungo Lady, the remains of a partly cremated body found at Mungo Lake, in Australia. Alternative death rituals emphasizing one method of disposal of a body—inhumation (burial), cremation, and exposure—have gone through periods of preference throughout history of humanism .In the Middle East and Europe, both burial and cremation were evident in the archaeological records in the Neolithic. Cultural groups had their own preferences and prohibitions. The ancient Egyptians developed an intricate transmigration of soul theology, which prohibited cremation, and this was adopted widely among other Semitic peoples. The Babylonians, according to Herodotus, embalmed their dead. Early Persians practiced cremation, but this became prohibited during the Zoroastri Period. Phoenicians practiced both cremation and burial. From the Cycladic civilisation in 3000 BC until the Sub-Mycenaean era in 1200–1100 B.C., Greeks practiced inhumation. Cremation appearing around the 12th century B.C. constituted a new practice of burial and is probably an influence from Minor Asia. Until the Christian era, when the inhumation became again the only burial practice, both combustion and inhumation had been practiced depending on the era, and area. Romans practiced both, with cremation generally associated with military honors.In Europe, there are traces of cremation dating to the Early Bronze Age (ca. 2000 B.C.) in the Pannonia Plain and along the middle Danube. The custom became dominant throughout Bronze Age in Europe with the Urnfield culture (from ca. 1300 B.C.). In the Iron Age, inhumation became again more common, but cremation persisted in the Villanovan culture and elsewhere. Homer’s account of Patroclus' burial described cremation with subsequent burial in a tumulus similar to Urnfield burials, qualifying as the earliest description of cremation rites. This is mostly an anachronism, as during Mycenaean times burial was generally preferred, and Homer may have been reflecting more common use of cremation in the period in which the Iliad was written centuries later.

 Our Grand Grandpa Chitragupta the old told me with his annoyance that Criticism of burial rites was a common aspersion in competing religions and cultures, and one was the association of cremation with fire sacrifice or human sacrifice.Cremation remained common, but not universal phenomenon , in both Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. According to Cicero, in Rome, inhumation was considered the more archaic rite, while the most honoured citizens were most typically cremated—especially upper classes and members of imperial families.Christianity frowned upon cremation, both influenced by the tenets of Judaism, and in an attempt to abolish Graeco-Roman pagan rituals. By the 5th century, the practice of cremation had practically disappeared from Europe.In early Roman Britain, cremation was usual but diminished by the fourth century. It then reappeared in the fifth and sixth centuries during the migration era, when sacrificed animals were sometimes included with the human bodies on the pyre, and the deceased were dressed in costume and with ornaments for the burning. That custom was also very widespread among the Germanic peoples of the northern continental lands from which the Anglo-Saxon migrants were supposed to have been derived, during the same period. These ashes were usually thereafter deposited in a vessel of clay or bronze in an "urn cemetery.". The custom again died out with the Christian conversion among the Anglo-Saxons or Early English during the seventh century, when inhumation of the corpse became general.Throughout parts of Europe, cremation was forbidden by law, and even punishable by death if combined with Heathen rites. Cremation was sometimes used by authorities as part of punishment for heretics, and this did not only include burning at the stake. For example, the body of John Wycliff was exhumed years after his death and cremated, with the ashes thrown in a river, explicitly as a posthumous punishment for his denial of the Roman Catholic doctrine of transubstantiation. On the other hand, however, mass cremations were often performed out of fear of contagious diseases, such as after a battle, pestilence, or famine. Retributory cremation continued into modern times. For example, after World War II, the bodies of the 12 men were convicted of doing crimes against humanity at the Nuremberg Trials were not returned to their families, but were instead cremated, then disposed of at a secret location as a specific part of a legal process intended to deny their use as a location for any sort of memorial. Recently, in 21st early century in 2011, such a thing happened with Bin Osma Laden. He was shot dead, and next was cremeted in the sea, after a muslim ritual done by US Army , after assisination of him. In Japan, however, erection of a memorial building for many executed war criminals, who were also cremated, was allowed for their remains.Cremation is however forbidden by Islam, which has specific rites for the treatment of the body after death.The Bahá'í Faith forbids cremation, except when it was required by law. Judaism also traditionally disapproved of cremation in the past. It had also disapproved of preservation of the dead by means of embalming and mummifying a practice of the ancient Egyptians. During the 19th and early 20th centuries, as the Jewish cemeteries in many European towns had become crowded and were running out of space, cremation became an approved means of corpse disposal amongst the Liberal Jews. Current liberal movements like Reform Judaism still on support of cremation, although burial under earth remains the preferred option. The Orthodox Jews,have maintained a stricter line on cremation, and disapprove of it as Halakha (Jewish law) forbids it. This halakhic concern is grounded in the upholding of bodily resurrection as a core belief of traditional Judaism, as opposed to other ancient trends such as the Sadduccees, who denied it. Conservative Jewish groups also oppose cremation. Some secular Jews may reject cremation perhaps in reaction to The Holocaust, in which the Jewish victims of Nazi genocide were disposed of by cremation at the death camps. At many former Nazi death camps, mounds of ashes are present beneath a shallow layer of dirt. In Israel, there were no formal crematories until it was 2007 when B&L Cremation Systems Inc. became the first crematory manufacturer to sell a retort to Israel. In August 2007, the predominantly orthodox ZAKA members in Israel were accused of burning down a secret crematorium. ZAKA spokespersons denied any involvement, but its founder, Yehuda Meshi Zahav, applauded the act of arson, calling the existence of the crematorium a "desecration of the dead" and that the crematorium was "destined to disappear in flames''. Since that incident, cremation takes place in Israel without interruption, by Aley Shalechet, the first modern funeral home in Israel. Traditionally, Zoroastrianism disavows cremation or burial to preclude pollution of fire or earth. The traditional method of corpse disposal is through ritual exposure in a "Tower of Silence'', but both burial and cremation are increasingly popular alternatives. Some contemporary figures of the faith have opted for cremation. Parsi Zoroastrian singer Freddie Mercury of the group Queen was cremated after his death. Neo-Confucianism under Zhu Xi strongly discourages cremation of one's parents' corpses as unfilial.Traditionally, Buddhist monks in China ,exclusively practiced cremation because other normal Chinese detest cremation, refusing to do it. But now, the atheist Communist party enforces a strict cremation policy on Han Chinese. However, exceptions are made for Hui who do not cremate their dead due to Islamic beliefs.

Since it was a question of my existence that was being discussed, I, the angel of Death, listened intently to the conversation, the entirety of which knows, would bore the distinguished miniaturists amongst us. The angel of the dead, whom hindu bengalees miniatures like a demon human form, instead like others angels in world like Michael or Azra'il in the form good man So you readers should have now a minimum thoughtful idea that I am the angel of death is not as bad as I have been often portrayed by man in bengali Religion. I realized that in very very past there was a young but most talented miniaturist whom Iswar(GOD) had endowed with astonishing talent for portrait and GOD himself wanted that I must be also illustrated in Hinduism and a old Grandpa man of the miniaturist with him ,who guided him to illustrate me in oil paintings and aroused him with the devilish idea about me as a real demon with black body and sword in my hand and multiple spikes in my body . What he essentially wanted to draw something unknown to us in all shadowines not something we know in all its illumination

 “I am not in the least familiar with death” – the talented miniaturist told the old man before he attempted to draw me

“We all know death! We fear him very much, We fight against him! but we do not know him”

 The old man then brought an idea before eyes of the miniaturist like this The angel of death has thousands of thousands wings spanned between heaven ,hell and earth from the farthest point in the east to the farthest point in the west. His wings would be a greatest comfort to the truly faith full souls towards God, and for the sinner and rebels it becomes extremly painfull as a sharp spikes through the flesh. Most of the miniaturists in world depicted me laden with many sharp spines and spikes. The angel will be sent to you by Ishwar(GOD) and Allaha to take your lives, would carry a big ledger, as our grand grand pa old chittrgupta does always, where in all your names appears and now some of yours name would be circled in black and ishwar or Allaha has the knowledge of exact moment of your death, when the moment of death appears, a leaf falls from the tree located beneath his throne and whom ever lays hold of this leaf can read from when death has come. But if you don’t mind, I must say that for all these reasons the miniaturists must not depict me as a most terrifying being but thoughtfull too, like who understand accounts. When the angel of death, who appears in human form extends his hand and took soul of the person whose time in earth had ended an –encompasing light reminiscent of the light of sun shone and a wise miniaturist should depict myself in light of sun shone and this light would not be visible to those who have gathered beside the diseased. What I can suggest for the future miniaturists .

 You appear to be pale now at my name! at my presence in satya’s story? But you must not to be at all afraid of me just now. I am every where, admixed with time. I am the synonymous time. Past time. In Satya’s story, I’m here just an illustration. You can tell me that partly it is also my story! I am also a story teller for you! You already knew, Satay’s mama! She was rally poor and poorest lady soul but I must agree she was a very honest soul! She was in great pain through out her life and great troubles for last 4 weeks from a sudden clot in his artery of Brain. By law of nature and medical sciences she could not express that to any one. I gave her so relief. Our God sent me to give her relief of her intense pain in her brain. And you know it very well that I’m like every one, like every God and Goddess, and angels of our kingdom of death, loyal to our big father God Yam and my teacher Chitraguta grand grand pa and they told me to give her relief and So I have sized her life few hours ago. But she was not afraid of me. She did not ask me “ wait! I have this duty or that thing left in the earth!> She just wanted to see her eldest son SAtya” But how long I would wait for Satya? I had to move from one to other places based on ny wings. I can now read sign of terror, horror in your eyes for my illustrations presence in this novel. Is that not true? Though you readers people know it very well that I am not now real death to call back one’s life from this planet- like children you are still seized by terror, horror, as if you have actually met death himself. And your attitude towards him really now please myself,. As you look at me, some persons are so afraid of myself, that they start pee and soils their bed sheets with stool, and fights amongst their body and soule against me but you know that I’m unavoidable . Think once ,about your last few moments, last few days, and hours of gasping and rattling. Every death is so painfully. Thousands time more pain, you have ever experienced in your life time. And this is not at all a joke!. When faced with death, people lose control on their all bodily functions. They understand I am near by them. But inspite they want to live. That is the tragedy and in this world there is no man who lives and, seeing the Angel of Death, becomes terrfied , as he understands that his end point has reached and can deliver his soul from his own hand, except a very few. It is thus explained in Midrash Rabbah to the passage: "One may not escape the Angel of Death, nor say to him, 'Wait, until I put my all affairs in orders, or There is my slave, my enemies, take him in my stead.' When the Angel of Death appears, there is no remedy for him who ever he or she is! .There is no difference between a rich and a street begger to Angel of death . Angel of Death sits before the face of the dead. However If one who is purest soul, delivered his/her soul before GOD or has sinned, but has confessed his fault to GOD himself, the Angel of Death may not touch him.  By acts of benevolence, the anger of the Angel of Death is overcome; when one fails to perform such acts the Angel of Death.The Angel of Death receives his order from God of death. As soon as he had received permission, to destroy, will make his appearance to be cruel on those issues. However, once he appears in field he makes no distinction between good and bad, rich and poor and poorest of pooris. But In Islam, the concept of death is viewed as a celebratory event as opposed to one to be dreaded. It is the passage of the everlasting soul into a closer dimension to its creator that is seen as a point of joy, rather than misery, obvious mortal grief and sadness notwithstanding. Indeed, the Islamic prophet Muhammad demonstrated that grief was an acceptable form of what makes us human, however prolonged mourning at the expense of the living is inappropriate, especially in the light of the transition from one world to the nextthey won’t have any idea what kind o entity i was. Apart from the characteristics and responsibilities he has in common with other angels in Islam, little else concerning the Angel of Death can be derived from fundamental Muslim texts. Many references are made in various Muslim legends, however, some of which are included in books authored by Muslim poets and mystics (Sufis who do not have citations from Quran nor Sunnah). For instance, it is said that when someone's time has come, the angel of death appears only to him and to no one else even if he is in a room full of people. If this person has more sins than good deeds the angel would appear to him in a vile and ugly form. The angel would rip his soul from him in an agonizing way. If the person has more good deeds than sins the angel would take his soul from him as gently as a mother rocking her baby.According Hindus and Bengalees, I am one of angles from our kingdoms of Death God “Yam”- the death. The end Point of One’s life. There are many death angels for this world from east to west, from North to South. . And I am the death angels for Hindus Bengalee peoples. I am the real termination of the all biological functions that sustain a living organism in this planet. We the angels of death and our asistants are sent to take the soul of those destined to die. Who are Angels of Death? You must have aquestion in your mind. Let me tell a story for you to introduce us. 

                      Stories of Azra'il

When God wanted to create Adam, he sent one of the Angels of the Throne to bring some of the Earth's clay to fashion Adam from it. When the angel came to earth to take the clay, the earth told him: "I beseech you by the One Who sent you not to take anything from me to make someone who will be punished one day." and when the angel returned empty-handed, God asked him why he did not bring back any clay. The angel said: "The earth besought me by Your greatness not to take anything from it." Then God sent another angel, but the same thing happened, and then another, until God decided to send one of his cosest angel Azra'il, the Angel of Death. The earth spoke to him as it had spoken to the others, but Azra'il said: "Obedience to God is better than obedience to you, even if you beseech me by His greatness." And Azra'il took clay from the Earth's east and its west, its north and its south, and brought it back to God. God poured some water of paradise on this clay and it became soft, and from it He created Adam Let me tell you few some other stories as a story teller here, about the other angels of Death. All these stories may give you all readers of Satya,s Story, some kinds of idea about us the angels of king doms of death. The death of Joshua ben Levi, in particular were surrounded with a web of fables. When the end time came for him to die and the Angel of Death appeared to him, he demanded to be shown his place in the paradise first . When that angel had consented to this, he demanded the angel's knife, by which he would to sieze his life and that the angel might not frighten him by the way. This request also was granted him, and Joshua sprang with the knife over the wall of paradise; the angel of death, who is never allowed to enter paradise, caught hold of the end of his death garment. Joshua swore that he would not come out, and God declared that he should not leave paradise unless he was absolved from his oath; if not absolved, he was to remain. The Angel of Death then demanded back his knife, but Joshua refused to give it back. At this point, a heavenly voice )rang out: "Give him back the knife, because the children of men have need of it" (Ket. 77b; Jellinek, l.c. ii. 48-51; Bacher, l.c. i. 192 et seq.). 

                   Stories from Bibel 

There is a story with angel of death in Bibel . The story is like this!. The Angel of Death, who was identified by some with Saytan(devil), immediately after His creation had a strong dispute with God as to the light of the world . When Eve touched the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, she perceived the Angel of Death, and thought, "Now I shall die, and God will create another wife for Adam.Adam also had a conversation with the Angel of Death The Angel of Death sits before the face of the dead . 

                    Stories of Abraham

While Abraham was mourning, for Sarah the angel of deah appeared to him, which explains why "Abraham stood up from before his death. Samael told Sarah that Abraham had sacrificed Isaac in spite of his wailing, and Sarah died of horror and grief. It was Moses who most often had dealings with the angel. At the rebellion of Korah, Moses saw him . It was the Angel of Death in the form of Pestilence who snatched away 15,000 human life every year during the wandering in the wilderness (ib. 70). When Moses reached heaven, the angel told him something . hen the Angel of Death came to Moses and said, "Give me thy soul," Moses called to him: "Where I sit thou hast no right to stand." The Angel retired ashamed and reported the occurrence to God. Again, God commanded him to bring the soul of Moses. The Angel went and, not finding him, inquired of the sea, of the mountains, and of the valleys; but they knew nothing of him. Really, Moses did not die through the Angel of Death, but through God's kiss i.e., God drew his soul out of his body (B. B. 17a; compare Abraham in Apocryphal and Rabbinical Literature, and parallel references in Böklen, l.c. p. 11). Legend seizes upon the story of Moses' struggle with the Angel of Death and expands it at length (Tan., ed. Stettin, pp. 624 et seq.; Deut. R. ix., xi.; Grünhut, l.c. v. 102b, 169a). As Benaiah bound Ashmedai (Jew. Encyc. ii. 218a), so Moses binds the Angel of Death that he may bless Israel. Solomon once noticed that the Angel of Death was grieved. When questioned as to the cause of his sorrow, he answered: "I am requested to take your two beautiful scribes." Solomon at once charged the demons to convey his scribes to Luz, where the Angel of Death could not enter. When they were near the city, however, they both died. The Angel laughed on the next day, whereupon Solomon asked the cause of his mirth. "Because," answered the Angel, "thou didst send the youths thither, whence I was ordered to fetch them" . In the next world, God will let the Angel of Death fight against Pharaoh, Sisera, and Sennacherib.

                  

                     Stories of Azrael/ Izrael

Az rael is the name of the Archangel of Death in some extrabiblical traditions. He is also the angel of death in Islamic theology. It is an English form of the Arabic name ʿIzrāʾīl (عزرائيل) or Azra'eil (عزرایل), the name was traditionally attributed to the angel of death in Islam and Sikhism, as well as in some Hebrew Azrael, also pronounced as Izrael, is the name given to the angel of death in Muslim literature as well. Along with, Gabriel Michael and other angels, Azrael is believed by Muslims to be one of the archangels. The Qur'an states that the angel of death takes the soul of every person and returns it to hand God. However, the Qur'an makes it clear that only God knows when and where each person will be taken by death angels, thus making it clear that Azrael has no power of his own discesion . Prophet Abraham once asked Azra'il who had two eyes in the front of his head and two eyes in the back: "O Angel of Deaths! What do you do if one man dies in the east and another in the west, or if a land is stricken by the plague, or if two armies meet in the field?" The angel said: "O Messenger of God! the names of these people are inscribed on the lawh al-mahfuz: It is the 'Preserved Tablet' on which all human destinies are engraved. I gaze at it incessantly. It informs me of the moment when the lifetime of any living being on earth has come to an end, be it one of mankind or one of the beasts. There is also a tree next to me, called the Tree of Life. It is covered with myriads of tiny leaves, smaller than the leaves of the olive-tree and much more numerous. Whenever a person is born on earth, the tree sprouts a new leaf, and on this leaf is written the name of that person. It is by means of this tree that I know who is born and who is to die. When a person is going to die, his leaf begins to wilt and dry, and it falls from the tree onto the tablet. Then this person's name is erased from the Preserved Tablet. This event happens forty days before the actual death of that person. We are informed forty days in advance of his impending death. That person himself may not know it and may continue his life on earth full of hope and many plans. However, we here in the heavens know and have that information. That is why God has said: 'Your sustenance has been written in the heavens and decreed for you,' and it includes the life-span. The moment we see in heaven that leaf wilting and dying we mix it into that person's provision, and from the fortieth day before his death he begins to consume his leaf from the Tree of Life without knowing it. Only forty days then remain of his life in this world, and after that there is no provision for him in it. Then I summon the spirits by God's leave, until they are present right before me, and the earth is flattened out and left like a dish before me, from which I partake as I wish, by God's order."

Azrael may be portrayed as residing in the Third Heaven.In one of his Protrait forms, he has four faces and four thousand wings, and his whole body consists of eyes and tongues, the number of which corresponds to the number of people inhabiting the Earth. He will be the last to die, recording and erasing constantly in a large book the names of men at birth and death, respectively. In Jewish mysticism Azrael was identified as the embodiment of evil, not necessarily or specifically evil itsel.  Depending on the outlook and precepts of various religions in which he is a figure. Riffian (Berber) men of Morocco had the custom of shaving the head but leaving a single lock of hair on either the crown, left, or right side of the head, so that the angel Azrael is able "...to pull them up to heaven on the Last Day." Azrael, as both a character or a more abstract concept had been adopted by many different Muslim artists, musicians, poets, and authors over the centuries to express or evoke a variety of different meanings or emotions in the reader – often drawing on the cultural resonance of the name for effect[ ReferenceIn Salman Rushdie's 1988 novel The Satanic Verses voiceover artist Saladin Chamcha has a vision of Azrael; 

In Edgar Allan Poe's Nobel Laureatee story "Ligeia", Ligeia's husband "struggled desperately in spirit with the grim Azrael." and in his story Mesmeric Revelation the corpse of the sleep-waker appears as if pressed by Azrael's hand.]

                   Stories of Michael

Michael was an archangel in Jewish, Christian, and Islamic traditions and Religions. He was viewed as the field commander of the Army of God. Michael (Arabic: ميخائيل, Mikhail ميكائيل, Mikael ), is so one of the Archangels in Islam, and one of the two archangels mentioned in the Qur'an, alongside Jibreel (Gabriel). In the Qur'an, Michael is mentioned however once only, in Sura 2:98. But Michael is mentioned in the Hadith, however numerous times. According to Muslim Peoples beliefs, Mikhail was often depicted as an angel of mercy, and the one through whom God supplied rain and thunders for mankind. Furthermore, Muslims also believe that God has also put Mikhail in charge of rewarding the righteous in their life on Earth. Mikhail is also credited with being present with the Muslims in their first victory in Arabia, at the Battle of Badr.Muslim commentators’ state with reference to Sura 11:69 that Michael was one of the three angels who visited once Abraham. Metioned by name in the Book of Daniel, the Book ofJude,[and the Book of Revelation, in which he leads God's armies against Saytan's forces during his uprising. In the book of Daniel, Michael appeared as "one of the chief princes"[ who in Daniel’s vision comes to Gabriel's aid in his contest with the angel of Persia(Dobiel]. Michael is also described there as the advocate of the Children of Israel and as a "great prince who stands up for the children of your [Daniel's] people". In Hebrew, Michael means "who is like God", which in Talmudic tradition is interpreted as a rhetorical question: "Who is like God?" (which expects an answer in the negative) to imply that no one is like God. In this way, Michael is reinterpreted as a symbol of humility before God.Much of the late Midrashic detail about Michael was transmitted to Christianity through the Book of Enoch, whence it was taken up and further elaborated. Christian cultus devoted to the archangel was first initiated in the East, as a healer, at Chonae near Colossae in Phrygia and in the West, at the end of the fifth century, as a patron in war, at Monte Sant'Angelo sul Gargano. In late medieval Christianity, Michael, together with Saint George, became the patron saint of chivalry. Jean Molinet was one who glorified the primordial feat of arms of the archangel as "the first deed of knighthood and chivalrous prowess that was ever achieved." Thus Michael was the natural patron of the first chivalric order of France, the Order of Saint Michael of 1469. In the British honours system, a chivalric order founded in 1818 is also named for these two saints, the Order of St Michael and St George. Michael is also considered in many Christian circles as the patron saint of the warrior. Police officers and soldiers, particularly paratroopers and fighter pilots, regard him as their patron. He is the Patron of the Catholic Police Guild. He is also a patron of Germany, the City of Brussels,[ and Kiev.

In the apocryphal Conflict of Adam and Eve with Satan, Michael taught Adam how to farm. The archangel later brought Adam to heaven in a fiery chariot, giving him a tour of the blessed realm. After Adam's death, Michael helped convince the Lord to permit Adam's soul to be brought to heaven and cleansed of its great sin. Jewish legend also states Michael to be one of the three "men" who visited Abraham. He is said to have tried to prevent Israel from being led into captivity by Nebuchadnezzar II and to save the Temple from destruction; but the sins of the people were so great that he was powerless to carry his purposes into effect. There is a legend which seems to be of Jewish origin, and which was adopted by the Copts, to the effect that Michael was first sent by God to bring Nebuchadnezzar against Jerusalem, and that Michael was afterward very active in freeing his nation from Babylonian captivity (Amélineau, "Contes et Romans de l'Egypte Chrétienne," ii. 142 et seq.). According to a midrash, Michael saved Hananiah and his companions from the (Midrash Genesis Rabbah xliv. 16). Michael was active in the time of Esther: "The more Haman accused Israel on earth, the more Michael defended Israel in heaven" (Midrash Esther Rabbah iii. 8). It was Michael who reminded Ahasuerus that he was Mordecai's debtor (Targum to Esther vi. 1); and there is a legend that Michael appeared to the high priest Hyrcanus, promising him assistance (comp. Josephus, "Ant." xiii. 10, § 3).The motif of Michael and the dragon appears in Michael's fight with Samael in Assumptio Mosis, x.). This legend is not found in Jewish sources except in sofar as Samael or Saytan is called in the Kabbalah "the primitive serpent".The idea that Michael was the advocate of the Jews became so prevalent that in spite of the rabbinical prohibition against appealing to angels as intermediaries between God and his people, Michael came to occupy a certain place in the Jewish liturgy. There were two prayers written beseeching him as the prince of mercy to intercede in favor of Israel: one composed by Eliezer ha-Kalir, and the other by Judah b. Samuel he-Hasid. But appeal to Michael seems to have been more common in ancient times. Thus Jeremiah is said (Baruch Apoc. Ethiopic, ix. 5) to have addressed a prayer to him. "When a man is in need he must pray directly to God, and neither to Michael nor to Gabriel" (Yer. Ber. ix. 13a).With regard to the nature of the offerings which Michael brings to the altar, one opinion is that they are the souls of the just, while according to another they are fiery sheep. The former opinion, which has become prevalent in Jewish mystical writings, explains the important position occupied by Michael in Jewish eschatology. The idea that Michael is the Charon of individual souls, which is common among Christians, is not found in Jewish sources, but that he is in charge of the souls of the just appears in many Jewish writings.

Michael is said to have had a dispute with Samael over the soul of Moses (Midrash Deut. Rabbah xi. 6.) According to the Zohar, Michael accompanies the souls of the pious and helps them to enter the gates of the heavenly Jerusalem. It is said that Michael and his host were stationed at the gates of the heavenly Jerusalem and gave admittance to the souls of the just. Michael's function was to open the gates also of justice to the just. It is also said that at the resurrection, Gabriel will sound the trumpet, at which the graves will open and the dead will rise.Some Christian theologians identify Saint Michael in Scripture even where his name is not mentioned: examples of this identification include the cherub who stood at the gate of paradise, "to keep the way of the tree of life" (Genesis 3:24), the angel through whom God published the Decalogue to his chosen people, the angel who stood in the way against Balaam (Numbers 22:22 sqq.), the angel who routed the army of Sennacherib (2 Kings 19:35).It may have been natural to St Michael, the champion of the Jewish people, to be the champion also of Christians, giving victory in war to his clients. The early Christians, however, regarded some of the martyrs as their military patrons: Saint George, SaintTheodore, Saint Demetrius, Saints Sergius and Bacchus, Saint Procopius, Saint ercurius, etc.; but to St Michael they gave the care of their sick. At the place where he was first venerated, in Phrygia (modern-day Turkey), his prestige as an angelic healer obscured his interposition in military affairs. It was from early times the centre of the true cult of the holy angels, particularly of St Michael. Church tradition relates that Saint Michael in the earliest ages caused a medicinal spring to spout at Chairotopa, near Colossae where all the sick who bathed there, invoking the Blessed Trinity and St Michael, were cured.

The Miracle of St Michael at Chonal, 12th-century icon from Saint Catherine's Monastery, Mount Sinai.Still more famous are the legends of the springs which St Michael is said to have drawn from the rock at Colossae (Chonae, on the Lycus). Church tradition tells that the pagans directed a stream against the sanctuary of St Michael to destroy it, but the custodian of the shrine, named Archippus, prayed to St Michael, and the archangel appeared and split the rock, opening up a new bed to divert the stream, and forever sanctified the waters which came from the gorge. The Orthodox Church believes that this apparition took place about the middle of the first century and celebrates a feast in commemoration of it on September 6 as the "Miracle of the Archangel Michael at Chonae. The Monastery of the Miracle in the Moscow Kremlin, where the Russian Tsars were baptized, was dedicated to the Feast of the Miracle at Chonae (Kona). Hot springs at Pythia in Bithynia and elsewhere in were also dedicated to St Michael.At Constantinople likewise, Saint Michael was a great heavenly physician. His principal sanctuary, the "Michaelion", was at Sosthenion, some fifty miles south of Constantinople. He supposedly visited Emperor Constantine the Great at Constantinople, intervened in assorted battles, and appeared, sword in hand, over the mausoleum of Hadrian, in apparent answer to the prayers of Pope St Gregory I the Great (r. 590-604) that a plague in Rome should cease. In honor of the occasion, the pope took to calling the mausoleum the "Castel Sant'Angelo (Castle of the Holy Angel), the name by which it is still known. The sick slept in this church at night to wait for a manifestation of St Michael; his feast was kept there June 9.

Another famous church was within the walls of the city, at the baths of Arcadius; there the synaxis of the archangel was celebrated November 8. This feast spread over the entire Greek Church, and the Syrian, Armenian, and Coptic Churches also adopted it. It is currently the principal feast of St Michael amongst the Eastern Christians. Although originating in Phrygia, its station at Constantinople was known as the "Thermae of Arcadius" (Martinow, "Annus Graeco-slavicus", November 8). Other feasts of St Michael at Constantinople were: October 27, in the "Promotu" Church; June 18, in the Church of St Julian at the Forum; and December 10, at Athaea.

Archangel Michael as represented on a coin of Emperor Michael V.

At Rome, the Leonine Sacramentary (sixth century) has the "Natale Basilicae Angeli via Salaria", September 30; of the five Masses for the feast, three mention St Michael. The Gelasian Sacramentary (seventh century) gives the feast "S. Michaelis Archangeli", and the Gregorian Sacramentary (eighth century), "Dedicatio Basilionis S. Angeli Michaelis", September 29. A manuscript also here adds "via Salaria" (Ebner, "Miss. Rom. Iter Italicum", 127). This Church of the Via Salaria was six miles to the north of the city; in the ninth century it was called Basilica Archangeli in Septimo (Armellini, "Chiese di Roma", p. 85). It disappeared a thousand years ago. At Rome also the part of heavenly physician was given to St Michael. According to a legend of the tenth century, he appeared over the Moles Hadriani (Castel di S. Angelo), in 950, during the procession which St Gregory held against the pestilence, putting an end to the plague. Pope Boniface IV (608-15) built on the Moles Hadriani in honour of him, a church, which was styled St Michaelis inter nubes (in summitate circi).

in Paris In Normandy, Saint Michael is the patron of mariners in his famous sanctuary at Mont-Saint-Michel in the Diocese of Coutances. He is said to have appeared there, in 708, to St AubertBishop of Avranches. In Normandy, his feast, "S. Michaelis in periculo maris", or "in Monte Tumba", was universally celebrated on October 18, the anniversary of the dedication of the first church, October 16, 710; the feast is now confined to the Diocese of Coutances. 

The hymns of the Roman Office are said to have been composed by Saint Rabanus Maurus of Fulda (d. 856). The hymn "Te Splendor" to Saint Michael (which derives its name from the fact that in Latin it begins with Te splendor et virtus Patris) is published in the Raccolta collection of prayers with indulgences, and, in 1817, Pope Pius VII granted an indulgence for saying the hymn.

In art, St Michael is represented as an angelic warrior, fully armed with helmet, sword, and shield (often the shield bears the Latin inscription: "Quis ut Deus?"), standing over the dragon, whom he sometimes pierces with a lance. He also holds a pair of scales in which he weighs the souls of the departed (cf. Rock, "The Church of Our Fathers", III, 160), or the Book of Lifeto show that he takes part in the judgment. Michelangelo depicted this scene on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel.

His feast (September 29) in the Middle Ages was celebrated as a holy day of obligation, as he was the patron of knights, but along with several other feasts it was gradually abolished since the eighteenth century. Michaelmas Day, in England and other countries, is one of the regular quarter-days for settling rents and accounts; but it is no longer remarkable for the hospitality with which it was formerly celebrated. Stubble-geese being esteemed in perfection about this time, most families had one dressed on Michaelmas Day. In some parishes, (such as the Isle of Skye,) they had a procession on this day and baked a cake, called St Michael's bannock.

Roman Catholic and Orthodox Christians often refer to the angel Michael as "Saint Michael", an honorific title that does not indicate canonisation. He is generally referred to in Christian litanies as "Saint Michael the Archangel." Orthodoxy accords him the title "Archistrategos", or "Supreme Commander of the Heavenly Hosts."

In the Roman Catholic Church, Saint Michael has four main roles or offices.[28] He is the Christian angel of death, carrying the souls of all the deceased to heaven, where they are weighed in his perfectly balanced scales (hence Michael is often depicted holding scales). At the hour of death, Michael descends and gives each soul the chance to redeem itself before passing, thus consternating the devil and his minions. St Michael is the special patron of the Chosen People in the Old Testament and is guardian of the Church; it was thus not unusual for the angel to be revered by the military orders of knights during the Middle Ages. Last, he is the supreme enemy of Satan and the fallen angels.

Some early Protestant scholars identified Michael with the pre-incarnate Christ, basing their view, partly on the juxtaposition of the "child" and the archangel in Revelation 12, and partly on the attributes ascribed to him in Daniel.[29]

In the Roman Catholic calendar of saints, Anglican Calendar of Saints, and the Lutheran Calendar of Saints, his feast day, once widely known as Michaelmas, is celebrated September 29 and was one of the four quarter days on which accounts were settled and, in England, when terms began in universities. In the Eastern Orthodox Churchhis principal feast day is November 8 (November 21 by most Orthodox churches since they use the Julian calendar), where he is honored along with the rest of the "Bodiless Powers of Heaven" as their Supreme Commander, and his miraculous appearance at Colossae (see below) is commemorated on September 6.

The last visit, that of his appearance over the mausoleum of Hadrian, certified one major aspect involving Michael, namely his role as an angel of healing. This title was bestowed at Phrygia, in Asia Minor, which also propagated the cult of angels and became a leading center for their veneration. St Michael is reputed to have caused a healing spring to flow in 

 I am referred by the scientists both to the particular processes of human life's cessation as well as to the condition or state of a formerly living body. These people sketch me in protrait always in a phenomena which commonly bring about death include predation, malnutrition, accidents resulting in terminal injury, and diseases. Almost all other animals are fortunate enough to survive hazards to their existence eventually die from senescence or biological ageing. You must know that in any year we the angels of death have too much laborious jobs to seize off life of usually 57,029,000 human peoples deaths and to place them before our GOD Yam and I am not joking on it , it was as per tabulated by our oldest of old Chitragupta for that year 2002.The only to whom I can not reach amongst all animals kingdom God had created exception of rules of our Sultan is the jellyfish Turritopsis nutricula, thought to be, in effect, they are immortal. In fact I never understood that why God has given this jelly animal immortality. Causes of death in humans are as a result of intentional activity what Satya told in his first chapter and that obviously include Malnutrition, Starvation, Diseases, Chronic diseases, malignancy, metabolic diseases, Heart diseases, Stroke, suicide, homicide and no doubt another is war. Satya knows it much better, as he studied me very well and in detiled that today the most leading cause of death in developing states of India and devoloping states of Bengal is infectious disease. The leading causes of death in developed countries are rather different atherosclerosis (heart disease and stroke, cancer, and other diseases related to obesity and aging}. These conditions cause loss of homeostasis, leading to cardiac arrest, causing loss of oxygen and nutrient supply, causing irreversible deterioration of the brain and other tissues. Of the roughly 150,0,000 people who die each day across this globe, about two thirds die of age-related causes  In industrialized states of India, the proportion is much higher, reaching 90%. With improved medical capability and technology, however dying has become a condition to be managed by doctors. Home deaths, once commonplace, are now rare in the developed world. In developing states like West Bengal, inferior sanitary conditions and lack of access to modern medical technology makes death from infectious diseases more common than in developed states. One of such disease is by Tuberculosis, a bacterial disease which killed 1.7 million people world wide in 2004.Malaria causes about 400–900 million cases of fever and 1–3 million deaths annually  .AIDS death toll in Africa may reach 90–100 million by 2025. In the world, approximately 62 million people, all causes of death combined, die each year. One in twelve people worldwide is today malnourished and they falls in death. In 2006, more than 36 million died of hunger or diseases due to deficiencies in micronutrients".According to the World Health Organization, malnutrition is by far the biggest contributor to child mortality, present in half of all cases.Underweight births and inter-uterine growth restrictions cause 2.2 million child deaths a year. Poor or non-existent breastfeeding causes another 1.4 million. Other deficiencies, such as lack of vitamin A or zinc, for example, account for 1 million. Malnutrition in the first two years is irreversible. Malnourished children grow up with worse health and lower educational achievements. Their own children also tend to be smaller. Malnutrition was previously seen as something that exacerbates the problems of diseases as measles, pneumonia and diarrhea. But malnutrition actually causes diseases as well, and can be fatal in its own right.

 From all causes, besides war, roughly 150,000 people die around the world each day.  War is an openly declared state of organized conflict,]typified by extreme aggression, societal disruption, and high mortality.As a behavior pattern, warlike tendencies are found in many primate species, including humans, and also found in many ant species. The set of techniques used by a group to carry out war is known as warfare. When there is an absence of war, it is called peace. War generally involves two or more organized groups or parties (often, nations). Such a conflict is always an attempt at altering either the psychological or material hierarchy of domination or equality between such groups. In all cases, at least one participant (group) in the conflict perceives the need to either psychologically or materially dominate the other participant. In all wars, the group(s) experiencing the need to dominate other group(s) are unable and unwilling to accept or permit the possibility of a relationship of fundamental equality to exist between the groups who have opted for group violence (war). The aspect of domination that is a precipitating factor in all wars, i.e. one group wishing to dominate another, is also often a precipitating factor in individual one-on-one violence outside of the context of war, i.e. one individual wishing to dominate another. In 2003, Nobel Laureate Richard E. Smalley identified war as the sixth (of ten) biggest problems facing the society of mankind for the next fifty years[In the 1832 book "On War", by Prussian military general and theoretician Carl Von Clausewitz, the author refers to war as the "continuation of political intercourse, carried on with other means." War is an interaction in which two or more opposing forces have a “struggle of wills” The term is also used as a metaphor for non-military conflict, such as class war.

War is a seemingly inescapable and integral aspect of human culture. Its practice is not linked to any single type of political organization or society. Rather, as discussed by John Keegan in his History Of Warfare, war is a universal phenomenon whose form and scope is defined by the society that wages it[ The conduct of war extends along a continuum, from the almost universal primitive endemic warfare that began well before recorded human history, to advanced nuclear warfare between global alliances, with the recently developed ultimate potential for human extinction.The Marxist theory of war is quasi-economic in that it states that all modern wars are caused by competition for resources and markets between great (imperialist) powers, claiming these wars are a natural result of the free market and division of human by class system. Part of the theory is that war will only disappear once a world revolution, over-throwing free markets and class systems, has occurred. German Communist Rosa Luxembourg theorized that imperialism was the result of capitalist countries needing new markets. Expansion of the means of production is only possible if there is a corresponding growth in consumer demand. Since the workers in a capitalist economy would be unable to fill the demand, producers must expand into non-capitalist markets to find consumers for their goods, hence driving imperialism.

Chapter 6

      He is “Basu”

                 

6 In those early days of 1970s, the province of West Bengal, specially the city of greater Kolkata and its surroundings suburban, were experiencing the height of fever of an unsuccessful drama for a revolution and activist guerrilla movement like guerrilla war and movement of Cuban and Peruvian liberation movement and was teeming with young but very brilliant school, college and university students, who dreamt of a de- class society in West Bengal and demolish of bourgeois, the then congress government, bourgeois education system [that resulted huge unemployment then even for Doctors and engineers] under revolver and pipe gun and hand made splinter bombs. The congress government in the center and in West Bengal state then declared and established emergency situation in West Bengal and arrested in police custody many leaders of left CPM party and those are in opposition and tortured on common people who tried to raise their voice against it by a law called MISA. There was huge raise of market price of every common article, food, vegetable, rice, cereals and every things and as a result, percentage of poor people, poverty line people increased by leaping through the years together under governance of congress rulers. The state economy also shuttered like any things with a huge loan on the shoulders of a just new born about RS 22000/=. Black money increased to upper class people, businessman, middle scale trade people and industrialists. There was no trace of democracy in West Bengal. Every body, including many news papers editors were afraid of local congress governance. That was no doubt a real and justified time for delivering a revolution for the state West Bengal. But alas! The Revolution baby was born in labour room but was very soon assassinated by the state. Satya was then 2nd year MBBS medicos in Medical college kolkata- secretary of the student union led by Democratic Student Organization (DSO). Satya lived then in a hostel at 30 D College Street, in 1st floor, sharing the room with JayantaDa, Kolol and a Muslim boy Riaj. Sata’s father Bholababu used to give him then Rs 300/= every month for his tution fee, study, as well for his hostel expenditure,pocket money and for everything, [from his mere government salary as an auditor (monthly Rs 1100/=), cutting off minimum daily demand of his family members and educational many costs of his other five brothers and sister. As a result, scale of poverty was raised in Bhola Babu’s family. But the family members were good enough became agreed to bear over the impending further poverty for some long 8 years, having a distant hopes for future good family economy, when Satya would come out as a successful doctor and would practice Medicine locally. Satya’s mama wanted always that satya must be physician for local poor people, destitutes and refugees and for the proletariats. It affected, by laws of nature, nutrition, dress and education of other brothers and sister of Satya and it affects first the female genders of bengali family, - Satya’s mama and sister and Pinto and kaushik so had to join in their teen ages odd jobs in a shop as delivery boy & at a garment shop to earn for their own studies and assist family for food. They took these kinds of difficulties in smiling face for Satya and for Tito in later years. Satya was so great full towards the family members especially to those two boys.Rupak and Ritwik were then five years old twin boy. 

The environment of the Medical college campus, and Medical college hostels were then studded with a kind of posh and trash culture of rich and elite class students from the upper society- many of them sons and daughters of established doctors practitioners of different districts and subdivisions of the state. And Satya usually tried to keep thousands yards distances from those rich class boys and girls mentally – though, he had to mix with them very superficially and look after if there a problem as a secretary of the DSO union. One day Satya met a young boy “Basu”- a black boy thinned as slimy, in the small restaurant on college street road, opposite third gate of Medical College “Kumar’s Canteen”. Satya liked coffee house opposite to Presidency College on College Street. But he had not then enough pocket money to drink coffee in coffee house. Kumar’s canteen was then a very small restora & was cheaper for break fast or Tiffin even then his hostel canteen charges. The boy was Basu. He was then taking master degree in physics at Rajabazar Science College, kolkata, at sealdah, and he also knew political identities like Dipankarda or Arunavada. He was also mentally involved and supported that kind of revolutionary activities amongst academics in university. Actually his maternal uncle and aunt was member of CPIML party and his uncle was abandoned from the family for sake of revolution and they did not find his trace for last four years. Basu started to come to this restaurant around four or five afternoon. They became friends by few months. Basu and Satya used to come in almost every afternoon in that small restaurant, if he had no night duty as a watchman security guard of Group 4 company and they occupied the last corner table with orders of tea and toast. The table was almost fixed for an hour sometimes for two hours from 4PM to 5 PM.

Café houses were then places, where usually pleasure seekers intellectuals’ antel and wealthy people of city usually sit knee to knee and involving in all sorts of gossips from politics to literature to sex. The poor people and students from backward socioeconomic class or students from villages, in universities or colleges around college street and central kolkata, used to avoid coffee house to drink few cups of coffees, as they did not have enough pocket money to pay for few cups of coffee, though entering coffee house in College Street was prestigious and important style. But this Kumar’s canteen café was not like all cafeterias in central kolkata and College Street, rather here people of all categories and class used to come to spend few hours with a cup of coffee or tea or snacks at much cheeper rate

Both Basu and Satya learned about their financial burdens and crude realities in their respective family. Satya told Basu about his father BholaBabu, about Debjani. Basu was then twenty three (23) and Satya was nineteen (19). Basu was thin skinny but a good hearted, friendly and much talkative rather about his maternal uncle, his maternal aunt (sejo Mamima), on left politics,changing society, marxism , lenin, Engaels, Russian Bolshevik revolution, Cuban Castro revolution, Guerrilla fighters in cuba and in Peru Lima, about Fidel Castro, Raul Castro, Chi Guevara. Basu was black. He had a big smile and his thick black lips and face which always inflated with his shrunken dimpled cheeks even more. He had once much desire to study medicine. He talked of the active role of Norman Bethune in the Chinese Revolution. He scored a very good rank in state level Joint entrance examination for admission in medical course, but could not admit himself because of his financial constraints and because his maternal uncle, one night suddenly left the house to join for revolution for a guerrilla training of CPIM party. He was abandoned with no trace for the last five years. Basu grew up since his childhood with his third maternal uncle’s family. His parents left this planet in a train accident and suicide, when he was only thirteen. Basu consisted of exclusively multiple efforts to find a respectable job to support the family of his sejo maternal aunt” Kalyani” whom he loved much. But a job for a science high 2nd class honors graduate in physics at that time in kolkata was not so easy, when Doctors and Engineers were unemployed in the late 1970s middle to 1980s late. So he was doing an odd job of a watchman security guard at night or in evening time to support and run the family of his sejo maternal aunt smoothly along with his master degree class in theoretical physics. He had to give much labor for it.

One day, Satya asked him’ why not he was interested in trying and joining the police or Military academy of the country with a job?” It was rather easier then, for him to chose as carries then a physicist and he promptly answered” though I feel all sympathy in world for those who are sacrificing and serving for this country in police or military academy, I have rather no minimum nostalgia in joining as military or in police, as by their term police and military I hate them from my inner core of heart and by the term country, you want to mean is nothing to me… can you tell me what it is? What am I to do with the term country? I don’t know whether it is to eat or to keep it over my shoulder or whether to drink when I am thirsty? In fact though I am inspired often with politics, now all my dream became focused in bourgeois mediocrity—on getting a nice job,-- that would let me spend for my aunt Kalyani and her children’s education and spend for my good dresses, pockets money to spend in cafeterias—a flat—a car—in most ordinary way—if possible in future a good beautiful house wife one day—my progeny—my children—you know in most ordinary way—not of course like my sejo maternal uncle – who leaves his family for county’s people—though I do respect his idealism, his politics, his sacrifice for a revolution—I want the rest of my days peacefully mediocrity in kolkata or in a suburban city. I do not want to live in any anxiety of dying from a lead bullet in a police encounter or in a war field or in a plane crash for the sake of this country, nor have I wanted to be a Shed for any revolution or for a party or by an accident. – He declared I am now in love with Kalani- yes my sejo maternal aunt.

Basu told Satya all facts and every thing he was doing then, particularly his inner desire and a forbidden relation with his sejo maternal aunt by his own choice and almost forcefully he established. His maternal uncle belonged to a comrade in Naxalite movement of a revolutionary party inWest Bengal , CPIML and he was once a dedicated worker, when he was a graduate engineer student in North Bengal Engineering College ,he joined CPIML in 1965. They were origin of a village close to Naxal Bari area and belonged to Rajbangshi Tribe caste. His maternal aunt Kalyani was also a comrade and once activist guerilla fighter of origin from next village-to his uncle in Naxal Bari. The Chief of Naxal party was also from Naxal Bari- a lawyer by his profession, was born in1923, was slim with light skin, light hair with thick glasses and he always wore white Dhoti and white Punjabi. Kalayani was also Graduate student in Political sciences from North Bengal University, though she not completed her examination to pass the degree in 2nd year. They married with the verdict and rulings of the chief of the party. She was distant in relation to the chief of the party. Basu’s uncle left his family and house four years back suddenly without any trace. He received guerrilla training from Cubian MIR with a scholarship there, Fidel Castro, chi Guevara he came in direct contact- he used to boast of and was trainer for the other activists. He served a high post in Bank. For last four years Basu and his maternal aunt Kalyani searched for him in every possible way in every possible place. They had also missing diary at Lalbazar missing squad, advertised in the missing column of most circulated daily newspaper. They met chief of CPIML one day and the party comrade told he may be living, may not be and may be murdered from police encounter at Andhra or a chattisgarh of Raipur

Whole responsibility of the burden of his maternal uncle’s family came on Basus’s thin shoulder. Her maternal aunt Kalyani with time however adjusted to learn to live with him, in absence of her husband in the family and living with Basu, mentally being involved with him, though Basu was too young to her to be involved mentally. Basu was thirteen years younger to her. She also had three growing up children whom Basu loved too much.

Kalyani was a little short in height, middle complexioned fair lady with her delicate bones, much attractive shape and dressed her with great simplicity on cotton saris and blouse, very occasionally with shallower kamij or costly dress. She had dark but expressive eyes, something with feminine, something passionate, and something motherly tenderness and love in her manner, walking and talking. Her eyes often shone something with egger, something with passion, something with ecstasy, something with tenderness. She had two large boobs with their deep curvature in between , high up but circular ass almost dancing and dazzling with her every steps of walk. Her black hairs fell to her back mid spine. She gradually became dependent on Basu in her daily life for every such decision to take, for the smooth run of her family. She did not a step forward without consultation with Basu for last 4 years her husband abducted and left her family for the sake of an unsuccessful full revolution. She did not know whether she was a maiden or a widow. She remained inconclusive and in between the two extreme ends. Basus sejo aunt kalyani was also a political woman and was an activist comrade in CPIML party, took guerrilla training from her husband, before their marriage, kept revolver, AK47 always with her and fell in love with his maternal uncle in the workshop and finally married with consent of chief of the party. After their marriage she kept however herself away from activist actions and active politics, though always supported her husbands. But she never spoke about politics, nor of revolution particularly with base, and she not only talked about her any political inclination and was probably ignorant in most the elementary of ongoing politics in the state.

With passing time, Basu had a growing notion within his cerebral networks, that his maternal aunt Kalayni badly needed a man. She however never expressed those sorts before. But with her daily life, her daily interactions with Basu, living under the same roof, day after day increased her dependence on Basu to lead her family life. Basu could understand that she will allow him to share her bed with lust, if Basu could however convince her. Basu started fantasizing with her during his masturbations in the bathroom or in his night dream, without her knowledge. It was quite natural for a teenage boy. Basu as politically highly conscious, a good boy, knew it well that his fantasy, his lust was a great sin to the society and other peoples in their relations. But he was undone as he had no other girl friends and no girl approached him due to his black complexion and very slimy figure. For long one year, neither Basu nor Kalyani expressed their mind to each other and Basu fell in love with her aunt. He purchased pornography story books or pictures from street and used to read them to find a similar desire of lusts

It is always something thrilling, something devine, something godly to fall in love with an older women, especially with your aunt.Every person wants to experience it, talk of it, his past memories, his fantasies. The fact is that Kalyani was thirteen  years older then Basu, and he wanted to know her intimately. According to Milan kundera writing- a great novelist of France ``every man’s life ought to include a love affair with an older woman and that this provides man with some of their most beautiful memories. An older women is a jewel in the life of a man” So happened with Basu.

 One afternoon, when her children went to play outdoor field, soccer games, they used to play that only game, and she was alone, busy with her kitchen jobs, Basu somehow expressed his love and fantasy in a clever manner to her, in a voice somewhat lower than usual... She first blushed in red with such an indecent confession and proposal from a teenage boy... She did not say anything. She did not do anything. But listened carefully to Basu in quiet and in silence and was astonished first at Basu’s desire and confession of his love to her. She pretended that she could not really belief that. They talked on this issue quite a long then. She was hesitating to have such an illicit relationship with a teen aged boy who was thirteen (13 ) years younger to her. Basu noticed her blushing, later face turning red, sweat appearing on tip of her sharp nose, flickering at angle of her ear lobule… and all three were her growing ecstasy and excitement- he failed to understand those as a novice and a good Boy. She did not rebuked Basu for such a confession, neither she requested or ordered Basu to leave her alone. She remained silent for some time Basu expecting some response from her end. Finally she wanted some times to think over his indecent proposal.She toldBasu that she never thought him in such a way.Basu knew from her shining eyes she spoke a lie.She wanted time to be mentally prepared.She however agreed that she had mental dependence on Basu and she needs his help to lead her life to bring her childrens up as her husband absconded and he did not do even his parental duties and she believes that he will return back.She did not believe in theory that CPIML party told her, her husband murdered a police officer and was killed in a police encounter in Chattrish Garha, Raipur village Jungle and she believes her husband will return some days or other when revolution will be over. Basu did not disturbed her and their life went on usal next 

 It is a very well known fact, that men usually have an unfortunate tendency to avoid his paternal duties and it becomes more when he is a revolutionist as CPIM or CPIML party member or believe in DE-Jung Mao, Lenin Che, Fidel Castro and they refuse to grasp it that a child is very essences of his life and love for his family and try to ignore even their own children and a call for a revolution is better option for them than their children’s love and so Basu’s maternal uncle could be absconded from his family and love of his children and duty for them. But an essence of love is a child and it makes usually no difference at all whether it has actually been conceived by her ovum or from his own sperm. In algebra of love, it is a symptom of magical sin of two different beings. And thus when a man loves children of a destitute women-left by her husband to odds of the world, then hundred percent probability is there that his love for children will endanger the female, with his love ultimately to go to bed for a physical relationship and leads to an issue of them

 On day 25th or so, Kalyani, so as per above natural law, unexpectedly came to Basu’s room. Basu was then absorbed in a book on quantum mechanics, deeply in difficult particle physics quantum theories, leaning on his study table, the room was near to dark and on one table lamp Philip Bulb bent on top of his book. She came very silently. Kalayani wore a simple, cheap, printed cotton sari and a cotton black blouse. She had no bra underneath. Basu saw her and lit a cigarette. He was habituated to puffing cigarettes or bidi in front of her, after his graduation result and a job. She came in bold stepping, quiet and sat on the corner of Basu’s bed. She remained silent for a few minutes gazing down at the floor to her toes and feet. After a pause of some moments, she started to discuss some common family affairs, Basu listened her turning his face towards her. Gradually she became spontaneous, provocative and that had lead her in different changing gesture, sitting posture, exhibiting her large covered breasts, peeped over and face thrust forward, one of her thighs set crossing over other, slightly back, her large voluminous circular ass moved high up and became very prominent and a mocking glance that left her levitator, not knowing whether next she was speaking seriously or joking or provoking Basu. Kalyani did paint her lips with pink color lipsticks, rubbed her face with some oily lotion, put red bindi on the middle of her forehead as a traditional mark of married women, whose husband was living. Her black hairs fell on her shoulder and her back over her black cotton blouse. Her dark honey eyes told something else, her consent, she was going to do with Basu, was categorically a forbidden game, she knew it well. Basu could then understand that his maternal aunt came to his room for a different purpose with a mental preparation for being fucked by her teenage nephew Basu. She holds a peculiar smile in between her stained lips that Basu saw never before. While talking, she gazed Often to his eyes and Basu was gazing into hers, she was biting her lower lip with her white teeth, so that the mechanism of seduction was set in, and Basu could understand her mind. Her voice gradually became coarse, often whispering and cracked. Basu stubbed the end of his cigarette twice on the floor, took a gulf of smoke down to his alveoli and put it in an astray and sat close to her. He grasped her right hand and interlacing his own fingers with her big slender fingers. She did not resist that. She did not took away her hands Basu in a cracked voice with his growing inner excitements asked if she at all needs Basu in her bed and he is ready to do everything, if she likes and practiced before with her husband, and she could be sure that Basu had grew up enough to give her ultimate pleasure of her vigorous orgasm, if she cooperates and agrees to have that pleasure of orgasm from her nephew Basu, and she probably thought for some days on this important issues. And she smiled of her blushing and her shyness like a newly married bride to go to marital bed with full consent. Basu rose at height of his excitement as she unexpectedly agreed and he exhibited her, his bulge over his trouser by a gesture. As she looked at his trouser, Basu suddenly pulled her on his chest and she hid her face there. Both hugged each other tightly and for first time, Basu felt softness of her flesh-softness of her body- softness of a women.—mother of three children-whose husband absconded-who depended on him for last 4 years- and with whom he fell first in love. She allowed Basu to move his fingers on her black blouse, down to her waist and large ass over her sari and petticoat and then she hugged Basu more tightly around his nape of neck

 Basu hold up her face and she let Basu to kiss her gently for 2-3 kisses on her lips and then Basu kissed her strongly and caressed her. But she did not respond surprisingly. As a most experienced married woman, she did not move her lips away. She came further closer to Basu and allowed herself to be kissed and pressed her large in elastic spongy boobs over her black cotton blouse often looking and staring at Basu’s eyes. She was as if indifferent to Basu’s pressing and squeezing on her black blouse and of course never opened her mouth to let Basu to swallow her saliva. Her body too seemed like an iceberg. In a voice somewhat unusual and continuing to gaze into her eyes, Basu next asked her to bare her bosom. She did not say anything; she did not do anything. She blushed further. Basu hugged her more tightly and he himself unbuttoned the front of her blouse. She kept on gazing into Basu’s Eyes and Basu’ s act to unbutton and the red of sunset merged with her blush that ran down over her skin to the very pit of her stomach and areola. Basu placed his hand on bottom of her inelastic large breasts “Has anyone touched and caressed your breasts after sejka absconded in the last four years?” he asked her whisperingly

 “No! Don’t you know that? Is there any other man with me, whom I could offer to touch and look at these, beside you? And you are still too childish to play with these my dear good boy!’ She pinched his nose and she kept on gazing all the time into his eyes... Her nipples were then erected, stout; her areolas became more brownish, her sweat pits became more prominent with the finger touch of Basu. Its contour changed as Basu rotated her nipples anticlockwise and pinched and scratched them erotically. She yet remained passively resigned to his effusiveness as if like the queen of England, accepting homage of an inexperienced novice- a teen aged boy, with her motherly affection as an aunt with a curious attitude of non participation, though her soul exquisited jewel of her sexual arousal, she enjoyed, she felt starting wetting in depth of her vagina and stiffness in her clitoris. She felt sweet and mild squeezing in her belly below her stomach. With time, she finally surrendered her body to Basu and when his excitement cooled down a little, Basu had the courage to see her naked, she did not protest it for long. She stood up silently and gently, went to the door, shut it from inside and stood at the corner of the room and hesitated to undress by herself own, one after one. At the corner of the room, the ceiling appeared to be slopped and light from a single Philip bulb of table lamp, barely reached there. Basu stood up, untied his trouser and gazing directly at her eyes dropped it down to his heel. She blushed at the sight of the necked body of 23 years boy and covered her both eyes with her crossed hands. Basu, a bit taller to her, slim bony to skin, black complexioned, with broad forehead, almond shaped eyes and a strong elegant nose. She remembered Basu’s childhood, when he first came in this house, his hands were thin and long, his fingers were jollevy and fragile, his hardy was flaccid and short but stood straight with touch. When he was sixteen, his body and face had not yet then settled as a man and was as if museum of innocence and now in 23 years, the night, when she lead eyes from this dark corner of room, through her crossed fingers, she saw that he had attained almost perfection in his engorged penis erection to give pleasure any women from 20 to 50 years in this world. It was as good as her husband's , 11 inches long, like the fan of a poisonous cobra in the bushes of dark pubic hairs. His cock, well strong, straight, tall, and enough healthy, may be testy, and well developed, almost similar to his maternal uncle. His maternal uncle was so proud of such a cock, the gift of god- and women must love it to play with, he used to say to her often. 

Basu with his naked body stood in front of her. He put her hands down and pressed his lips on her again. This time she opened her mouth and felt his tongue inside her mouth. Basu took her delicate fingers to his nakedness poisonous snake’s fan. She hesitated first to touch his cylindrical flesh fan- as, in fact, Basu was 13 years younger to her and nephew in their social relation, - a forbidden relationship to society- she knew that - but suddenly she grasped it with her soft hand, tenderness and moved her lips with Basu, without shivering and a little groaning sound.

 Basu dragged her forcibly on his bed. She wore only a white old petticoat. Basu wanted to undress it also to see her naked completely. She did not allow it on the first night at least. She whispered to put off the Philip bulb. Basu obeyed her. He came up with a hand torch. She was waiting for him motionless. As Basu crawled on her, like a reptile, full of lust, totally naked, and curled up her petticoat above her belly, full of scratchy marks, she allowed it to do, spreading her thighs apart and exposing her cunt as good as possible for Basu, as she was habituated with her husband 4 years back. Basu kissed her again and again to raise her inner freezing desire. She allowed Basu to do all those at times being amused, at other times indifferent and always putting an end to his effusiveness with her impatient expression “ This is enough now……. Basu….. enough…. No more please…. You are a good boy…. Please leave me now….Next time…Basuuuuuu” and on very rarest occasions, she also took initiative to arrange or muss his hairs with her right hands or passed her slender delicate fingers along his nostrils or mouth, as if she wanted to smoothen them. She was as if a big iceberg. Basu switched on his two cell battery hand torch. He turned at her stomach and belly, smoothen thighs and perineum. Two fantastic, smooth, olive skinned thighs she had- her belly down to her stomach and umbilicus was inelastic and full of white stretch marks called striae alba for her last three pregnancies. She turned her face toward the open window opposite to Basu and covered her eyes and forehead with her wrist. Basu focused light down her belly at her perineum, cunt, of a middle aged woman at mid thirties, mother of three children. Basu first time saw her mons pubis- a triangular bulky area between her groins and two thighs. The skin showed to be of darker or brown then the rest of her body with sparse silky fine hairs, spread down smoothly to the upper half of her labia majora. Basu kissed on it and she was allowed to be kissed there. Basu spread her thighs further with milder thrusts and she herself allowed that. Gently and with hesitation, Basu touched skin of her labia’s. He felt it little wet but not enough slippary, which he read often from pornography books he purchased from market hawkers. Kalyani covered her eyes with her wrist. Basu drew her hands over his naked groin. Kalayni looked at Basu. He put his stuff on her finger touch. She grasped it without any further words and moved it’s foreskin up and down with her tenderness. Basu leaned on her pubis mount and kissed on her cunt. First time she holds his strong manhood firmly and squeezed it and moved prepuce and its skin down at full length exposing his glans. For next and sometimes, she allowed Basu to play with her naked body as a novice boy. She remained silent, almost passive and cool, mostly indifferent to Basu’s act, but allowing him to do any thing, he wanted to do. Neither she moaned, nor she groaned out of her ecstasy, pleasure or passion and finally, when Basu was ready to penetrate her and one inch of his first effort to penetrate a women, she with her coldness whispered “slower—Basu—slower-- correctly” and when Basu entered in the darkness of creation of life , through gateway of her womb, she encircled his nape of neck with her two slender delicate hands and turned her face towards the open windows looking at starry sky and remained al through passive. It was Basu’s first experience to have a physical relationship from a most experienced married woman, mother of three children, who was once a comrade with guerilla training of CPIML party and kept AK47 with her in her waist. But she did not care of Basu’s pleasure. With his every stroke, her body was moving and she was taking her deep breath but without any sound from her mouth. Basu forcefully turned her mouth under him and pressed her lips tightly with him, introducing his tongue to snake within her. Her fingers then mussed his hairs strongly and she separated her thighs widely to keep Basu in between her. Her interior became somewhat juicy and lubricating then before with constant strokes. Basu felt his experience quite different then his habitual masturbation and of much pleasure. Suddenly she slabed on his cheek and whispered “... Fucker boy!... fuck me!... fucking your own aunt?... Shame to you! OK! fuck me... well—I am Cumming... stronger... stronger… more quick… quick..” and her two legs suddenly swung up in airs and crossed Baius’s necked waist and she became little active this time from bottom, moving her pelvis up and down rhythmically with Basu, flickering in her perennial and pelvic muscles and squeezing Basu’s cylinder in her. Her fingernails scratched Basu’s back muscles spontaneously and tightly and she whispered “you my fucker nephew! Fucking your aunt? Is she so cheap...? She is destitute! Ok! Fuck her!... Oh God! Oh! Haaah! Hussss! My God! Kill me at the same time... Oh My heaven” Basu felt a spasm within her and he was finished. He gasped on her bosom in between her boobs and she crossed her legs tightly. Basu was totally exhausted. He and Kalyani lay side by side, fully naked, silent and Basu for the first time felt really exhausted and guilty. Suddenly Kalyani wept out with a moaning sound. She hides her face deep in the pillow. Her completely naked body was vibrating with her weeping. Basu remained silent and allowed her to weep. He also felt guilty, sorry for his act. He did sin for first time fucking his own aunt.

 In the next morning around seven o’clock, when Basu opened his eyelids, he saw at foot end of his bed, aunt Kalyani ,washed, dressed with her usual cotton printed sari and blouse, combing her hairs, exposing almost her one side in elastic larger boobs and their deep curvature peeped through coverage of her black blouse with an uncommon, peculiar, look at Basu that revealed a profound sin for their last night act, but also her happiness and a kind of deep sense of respect , love tenderness for Basu.

For the next five days of that week, Basu had night duty from Group 4 security service private company as a night watchman in a renowned newspaper company of the city; he was deputed there for the last three months. So he had not spent nights with his maternal aunt, in house. He came eight hours in morning, took rest, went to his college, spent an hour at college street with Satya and reported for his duty sharp at21 hours night and Kalyani too behaved with him with her most usual interactions for the family without a single uttering about that night's sins. On Sunday next Basu enjoyed an evening with family. He had a day off. In the evening, Basu took his maternal aunt Kalyani and her three children in a costly cafeteria near Rabindra Sadan( however it was luxury for Basu to order costly dinner dishes at that cafeteria for five people, as he had not enough money to spend for it). For long four years or so, after his sejka abducted and disappeared from the family for a cause of political revolution in this state of West Bengal, kalyani entered such a poss. air-conditioned restaurant and cafeteria come bar. She dressed herself simply but had a graceful appearance with a fantastic exposed waist, sharply attractive legs, and high up circular ass, fine ankle, and delicate wrists. She seemed much sure of herself and was confident and she often moved her head at the end of her reply and sentences her children often asked her and Basu was talking with her with studded non challenges. Her make up was superior and more natural of a married woman of middle thirties then heavy applications from her. She wore a saffron silk sari- a fashionable surd and low-cut red blouse that bared her smooth bulky shoulders and emphasized her throat with an elegant necklace of gold chain from which hung a precious ruby stone that with her movement swanged roguishly over the opening where her arrogant breasts peaked out. Her wedding wrist band with other gold and bronze wrestles on her both wrists. Basu sat opposite to her on a sofa in the cafeteria. He could not exchange his glances with her in presence of her grown up children, though he had no doubt that she perfectly aware of his constant following with his eyes at her body and she overlooked or never looked at him and rather always arranged to show her profile and remained busy talking unnecessarily with her children, ignoring Basu’s eyes at her. She was dressed so simple, but smart with peacock colored chiffon silk sari and matching red blouse with golden chain, ruby stone in her necklace, elegant ear rings, wristlet that Basu had come to conclusion that she is a simple lady of very simple origin and class, though Basu was afraid that she was a activist member of CPIML party and Basu remembered that she never gave a dam about politics in general and or interested in any kind of revolution. She looked very attractive, beautiful and sexy with her chiffon sari and matching blouse and gold ornaments and simple make up for that evening in cafeteria dinner party and that Basu fell in love with her.

 They returned home around 22-45 hours night by a taxi and when entering through the entrance gate of the house, she suddenly turned her back and almost in a cracked whispering voice “You may come to share my pillow—if you like so tonight.. Of course after my children sleep and not before that… I shall be ready... OK” Her children then walked ahead. Basu’s heart raced as if he had just ran a marathon and she walked much faster to open locks of living and dining room

 Night rolled on deeper, larger and longer. Basu waited for her to come in his room with her ecstasy and he could not wait more for her with his excitement and engorgement for her. He silently stepped to her dark room. She was in her bed inside nylon net with her two children, sleeping fast beside her. Basu silently sat on corner of her bed with tachycardia in his heartbeat was faster than 120/minute and sweat drop at tip of his nose. He saw her in darkness lying straight on her back supine. What an attractive and delicate figure this lady yet has, though she was 13 years older to him, once a good friend of his mother, and a mother of her three children by his maternal uncle-sejka. She had no bra underneath. Basu silently and gently leaned on her two lips and kissed gently with a sound of kiss and pressed her one boob to wake up her. She immediately sighed off and opened her closed eyes and looked at Basu in the darkness of her room “oh! It’s you—my fucker nephew boy” she whispered cautiously through her clenched teeth “Like to play all those in front of your sleeping brothers?” She after a little pause whispered ‘It is still however yours sejka’s place and you are taking his place now! He used to do all these in this bed – of course in the early morning hours… and I was habituated in that manner--- and you know my good boy! your uncle was a good fucker…. A perfect man… every women would like his cock… you know Basu! It was so big… so hard… and he could stand average within a woman”

 She allowed herself then kissed several times and mollustrated her one sided breasts under her blouse by Basu. His hands were perspiring and it was hard for him to breathe smoothly and his unexplainable excitement. His eyes looked over his face, her tip of nose, her ears, her throat , over her lips, over her blouse, her stomach and his hands trembled and searched knot of her petticoat, when she gently grasped his wrist “ no…. no.. For God’s sake Basu…. Please not here…. not in front of my children” and Basu’s five fingers then slipped over her uneven belly, her stomach, around her naval and on her mons pubis, over her petticoat and sari and Basu searched for her silky bushes over her sari. She allowed Basu’s trembling fingers to scare her pubic hairs over her sari and then even down in between her two thighs to grasp her triangle, to squeeze it, to scare’s it her pubic hairs again and again and she from Basu’s fast and noisy respiration could understand “Basu at peak of his excitement and when she whispered” Please go to your bed..You will put me in trouble if you start playing all these with my body before my sleeping children... if they wake up with your sound… and I am to go for bath room... please go... you are a fine boy”

 Kalyani sat up on her bed, untied her khopa and her hairs fell on her wide shoulder and her back to middle of her spine. She looked around her bed, in the darkness of night in her room. Her two sons were in fast asleep, just beside her pillow. The other side remained empty for last four (4) years and a few minutes ago her nephew was so long here, trying to hug her over his slimy chest, to arouse her desire. She is however today mentally prepared to have vigorous intercourse with full pleasure from her nephew Basu. How many years will she wait for her husband to return back home? She had been waiting for her husband to return back home for four years and she felt lonely, helpless and weak living with her three children to bring them up without a man. She missed the strength and protection of a man, besides her nephew, who was though thirteen years younger to her, stood beside her to support her family in day to day life. She is also a woman- a feminine structure with human flesh, blood, mind, though trained once with guerilla training in CPIML camp of Naxal Bari and she was highly trained and habituated to adjust all difficult and worst situations in their life and to remain steady and smiling before impending death and to act even as human bomb. She felt her both nipples now fully erected and wide; her breasts became heavy from their bottom up. The much known sensation spreaded all over her body from her breasts and belly. She knows the sensation and the desire. She felt strong desire raised like flame fire from her inside to be handled, to be molested, to be squeezed strongly, to be sucked like a little child, to be snaked around, by a strong man, who will put her in feeling of pain of molestation, caressing her soft flesh, piercing depth of her cunt mucosa with his strong engorged manhood almost feeling her introituses, she now wants a man who will lead her to her orgasm. Her bartholin glands, cervical glands are secreting. She thought, one night Basu had already done it. She felt Basu’s manhood within her. No doubt, it gave her pleasure in that night, after long four years of abstaining, though mentally she was not then fully prepared to have intercourse with Basu, which she never imagined even. She had no other man around her. Basu’s maternal uncle had a strong physic and structure and he was a good player in the love game, in bed, in late night, before sun raised in the horizon. Kalyani also loves and is fond of foreplay and love games in bed. She knew various means to sustain his strength and various positions to satisfy any man as well to get her satisfied from a strong man. But she was devoid of sex for last four years. She was habituated to masturbating herself with her own fingers or with a candle kept in a hidden place in bathroom, before she took her bath. She felt her clit erected and her body demanding a severe fore play, fucking and pleasure of orgasm and there is no man before her beside Basu- her nephew- a slimy black boy of 23 years only- a novice boy. Back from bath room, being washed by soap, water, hugging by Basu, hiding her face in his thin shoulder, out of her shyness for being fucked by this young boy of 23 years- her nephew, Kalyani quietly, in slow steps, entered Basu’s room and herself shut door from inside, Kalyani stood near door with full mental preparation for being fucked by him. As she turned back, she saw Basu busy untie his pajama and dropped it to his heel. He wore an old cotton ganjee only on his slimy chest. The first time in flooded tube light Kalyani saw this 23 years young boy with his full engorgement, erected for her- Kalyani saw a perfect manhood, a strong manhood, ready for her use and her pleasure. Basu had become no doubt a perfect man. Kalyani felt shy to look directly at his sword, at his erection and at the same time she became pleased for his shape and size. He is a perfect man now. Basu came forward. The first time as he stood in front of her, she closed both her eyes in her ecstasy, as Basu dropped her anchal of her sari and gently touched her erect nipples over her red blouse and rotated it clockwise and anti clockwise. Basu placed his lips on her and with his fingers in between her thighs searched her clit, over her sari and petticoat and she separated her highs. She did not move away, opened her lips, moved her lips with Basu. Her eyes remained opened and she kept her eyes with Basu. Basu took her right hand down on his naked groin. She hesitated for few minutes clenching her slender fingers to touch on its skin. She allowed Basu to be kissed deeply and more deeply. She allowed his tongue to be snaked around her lips and teeth. Basu was taking deep inspiration with his excitement she understood. She now gently touched his erection and suddenly grasped it , hard like steel, with curious attitude of minimum participation, not allowing Basu to lessen the invisible distance, she kept from Basu, but squeezed it very gently to feel its hardness, its shape,its length and dimension and pulling down its foreskin, exposing his glans at level of its corona. And that she did with her much affection like an aunt’s attitude, though she surrendered her body to Basu, next time allowed Basu to undress her cloths except her white old cotton petticoat from her marvelous waist. She allowed him to curl it up above her rough belly and to look at her triangular pubis in between her thighs, her mons pubis covered with bushy fine silky pubic hairs. She allowed his manhood to be rubbed over her belly and mons and labias and when basu expressed his desire to show her some pictures of pornography book, he purchased from street hawkers, to arise her, she sat bside him. Basu showed her naked pictures of various strong French and American man with 18 inches long erection, sucking by beautiful naked women by sometimes two or three and Basu simultaneously was kissing on her two lips, on her teeth, on her chin, down her throat, neck, squeezing her breasts, rotating her nipples. She remained indifferent mostly though, staring at pictures and often co-operating with Basu. She finally told him “ let go to bed and please put off the tube light- I can not participate actively with you in light.. You please take a hand torch if you want to see me more.”

 And lying on her spine on Basu’s pillow , when he stepped gently with hesitation, before her , stood and switched on the torch, she first time had a direct look at it and held it at its skin root, she touched her lips on its glans. Basu sat beside her belly and with a sudden thrust at her two knees separated her elegant thighs. Basu saw labials of a woman in her mid thirty, mother of three children, her maternal aunt, waiting for him. Basu placed his mouth on its skin and kissed. He separated her inner labias by his fingers very gently and with much hesitation and saw its introituses. Basu looked at her eyes. She also stared at him with a peculiar unfamiliar look of high expectation of foreplay. Basu now untied her petticoat from her waist, drew it down at her heel and she cooperated with him to get it off. Kalyani is now full naked before Basu. Basu introduced his two fingers in her introituses mucosa and leaned on her lip. She now tightly grasped his engorged manhood at his groin, squeezed gently, drew its foreskin further down and smiled at Basu “your uncle must return back some day! Is that not?” Basu pressed her lips tightly and she opened her mouth. Basu whispered at her ear “you need it now for your normal life to let go” Basu started fingering her. It was yet dry and non responsive mucosa. She made her legs in lithotomy so that it was easier for him “but from you? Neither I nor your sejka imagined that ever”

-“ He will not come back. He is murdered by police encounter- the captain told it.” She let his tongue to go inside her mouth and moved his foreskin, as if she was making Basu masturbating very slowly. She also snaked her tongue with Basu and swallowed his saliva.

 -‘I probably Love You” Basu whispered at her ears in the darkness. She remained silent for a while-” is that true?”

-“.I swear. I started wanting you much with all my heart, with my body, with my sweat, in those four years. I have done all these in my dream, in fantasy about you and want you and love you and cursing you. After al you were a revolutionist some day.You are trained in guerilla war”?

-“ Yes with our captain Mr. Majumdar! Kanu Saynal, Jangal sountal. He is my relative in other way. But I am of a lady too with all desires of a lady for family, children. “She moved her legs straight and again folded her knees to widen her legs. She turned towards Basu, came closer to him almost hugging on her chest ….”….Oh! My Heaven! You are learning my boy…. Slower! rithmetical… she whispered” she came further close to Basu and there remained not an inch gap in between them “ I and your sejka was in same camp at naxal bari. Our captain, you understand about whom I am talkimg helped much for our marriage. You sejka proposed me first. I was in activist group- sicidal squad- you have no idea on it my good boy. He wanted that I lead life as a wife and a mother than an Human bomb and activist for the revolution”….. She remained silent for several munites and whispered “ I never imagined these all with you. You must be a crazy boy on this earth who can say so to his aunt like me” she said with a smile, aroused looking at Basu in darkness, as if he was an exotic animal “what a cheap sentimental things you tell me my good boy”

 -- “The worst thing is not that I say them; the worst thing is that I felt them for some days. It is time- kalyani- I had never said anybody but only you- and you know probably that you also love me- now in place of sejka—in these four years—you know it better than myself—is that not?

-“ It is impossible thing Basu” –she suddenly rolled on his chest and lay on him on her belly. Basu was a little surprised as he was not really ready and did not expect that. She first arranged herself to place her mons on his erecting and slowly moved her ass and pelvis to roll on his erecting, on his belly, under her mons pubis. Basu hold her back muscles in between her scapula spine tightly. His hands moved on her naked nape of neck, on her back, spine, scapula, on her gluteus, on her ass and Basu scratched her ass hole. She moved her pelvis in such a way that Basu’s erection rolls first bellow her mons on his belly, slips down along her vaginal slit introituses and she immediately pressed it with insteps of her elegant inner thighs and then suddenly releases her thigh pressure to return back its original position. She did it again and again and again. She pressed her lips with her own, kissed him and Basu opened his mouth, when she introduced her tongue forcely, snaked inside and Basu swallowed her saliva. She did all to make Basu understand that she was as good as a newly married bride and a girl of basu’s age- s a lover and in bed. With a sigh she whispered---’ Do you really want to fall love with your this aunt?” Basu told--- “yes! Several times. I am probably in love with you” 

--“It is your fantasy for a woman's flesh! Right!”

 Basu now turned her on her back. She drew him on her chest again and lay comfortably bottom to basu

--“Do you have fallen in love with me? ”Basu murmured rubbing the edge of her ear

--“ All these probably not for love! I am not however very sure! Why lie to you! She replied so coldly “………..it is just for security. It is just for support for my three children- I need a man, so long your uncle does not come back- and I believe he will come back a day and she hesitated next a moment and with a deep sigh made a confession “I may even end up falling in love with may be you- with my three children if all these goes on…… but for god’s sake one request “……no one outside world should see us like this--- OK? and at least never my children…’ …” we can behave like husband and wife or as a lover – whatever you call it today, only in late night or in the early morning and in front of people, society, relatives ,our relationship must be as usual as it was before. I am then your respectable aunt and you are just my cunt” You will probably be much better then your’s Mejka- I hope it in bed.

 Basu then kissed her, with much devotion, every millimeter of her skin that came in view, in the moonlight pouring through windows, breathing the soft lightly perfumed aura that emanated from her body. And Basu saw her belly full of stretch marks of her three previous pregnancies, two visible scarmarks and her silky bushy mons pubis across her groins, because of her cesarean section operation. He felt then dense emotion,tenderness as he separated her two elegents thighs, he kissed insteps,her fragrant underarm and he turned her back to kiss her gently on her naked spine, her motion full two spongy circular gluteus as delicate as velvet and then he snaked his tounge on her large inelastic breasts at length. She laid on her back motionless, spreading her two shiny legs to make a place for his head to peep and his lips on her labias and she covered her both eyes and forehead with her right arm. Basu felt he should began to move further and further from him in order to concentrate totally with an interty on the sole play personal egotistical sexual pleasure his lips must give her. She with little hesitation, from her part, started licking, sucking nibling her big sex organs in his mouth, when she first time moved her big pelvis uplifting and giving gentle thursts on basu’s mouth. He felt she was growing wet with much time and started vibrating…… It took however long time.. to arouse her desire to be active in foreplay with Basu and then she gurgled … Yes.. that.. … the .... way… Basu… you are good boy Hushhh… uhhh… Ahaaa …..Haaaaa … after so many years…. Basu… put tongue… deeper… much deeper… right….. Suck me….. Suck your … aunt….. Your sejka… kept me for you… Basu… You should approach me much earlier my nephew…” she laughed and kissed on Basu…” I really never imagined you have such a nice hard sword to fuck 

  How delicious and exciting it was for Basu to feel his maternal aunt Kalyani- a middle aged married women of her mid thirties, mother of three child, an experienced woman who was once a guerilla fighter and an activist comrade in human bomb squad of CPIML party to be purring, moving, rocking, submerging herself in vertigo of her growing sexual desire, satisfaction and pleasure from a novish 23 years old man and until and at last a long wait shook her body from her head to toes “ now… now Basu… I can not stand .. it .. more” in choked voice “ please give your’s “ she gurgled in her ecstasy

 When they finished love, making love, and were both lying in deep silence, mute, in bare body, completely naked covered under a yellow bed cover of Basu’s single bed and Basu was still caressing with his fingers on her naked voluminous tight boobs, erected stout long nipples, around her large brownish areolas, in her waists fat creases, around her silky bushes on pubic mount and silently kissing her almost invisible scar playing with her stress marked inelastic belly, hressing his ears on her diamond naval and listening to gurgling sounds from the inner depth of her abdomen. Kalyani lay motionless, straight on her spine, gazing at starry sky with sense of high guilt and sin of doing such love games accepting her nephew Basu within her interoitus, moving affrent sensations in her spinal reflex arc his strokes through her cervical vault squmous layers and touching vaginal mucosa but at same time she could not at all deny the godly pleasure , she felt of her female orgasm several times, long after 4 years by him,she really needed it after her husband absconded- she had no sex desire and feeling of her feminine but she felt also ashmed of her sudden exhibiting her gurgling ectasy of her extreme satisfication few munites before to a novish boy of 23 who was her nephew and whom she saw from her childhood. It was so natural , so spontaneous, from her inner depth of body and mind , was beyond her control, though she was trained as Guerilla fighter once indeed to be quiet nd calm even in her death with a granade or cyanide capsule. Had she won Basu? Had she placed him in her absconded husband? For security of her family?, for bringing up her children? She could not be sure yet.

 One day Satya and Basu came in a Café` in Esplanade area . It was possibly then late winter session though weather was little bit warm. Satya inherited a coat from Bholababu in 1973. Bholababu used it for long time when he used to go outside for official tour. He had only this coat. Bhlababu offered him as Satya stood first in Higher secondary examination. It was the only gift from a militant mouse of CPM party. Basu wore a sweater. The student waiters’ welcame them inside the café`. Satya was then 3rd year MBBS student, doing General Medicine bed side clinics. He used to follow Hutchision’s clinical Medicine and Davidson’s Practise of Medicine. First time he purchased a cheap stethoscope from opposite Das brothers small Shop, one mercury BP instrument, one hammer ,to practise how to do clinical examination of patients in Medicine ward to arrive at a provisional diagnosis. At that time there was no CT, MRI, Colour doppler. Limited scope of Ultrasound examinations. Very limited scope of biochemistry. So the Professors of medicine used to give stress on Bed side clinics. Satya was class assistant in physiology and junior prosector in Anatomy. He was awarded Pan Memorial prize in finest way of body dissection. He was Secretary of DSA student organization in Medical College. Most of Diagnosis was then based on Clinical medicine and bed side medicine and clinic was very strong. Not like today’s highly computerized sophisticated technology based investigation depended. He remembers his first Six months time in General Medicine ward in main MCH building of Medical College under Dr. Bidut Mallick MD ,under Lecturer Panchanan Mallick MD. He was then RMO cum clinical tutor in the department of Medicine. Seven or eight students in every batches surrounding a cot of patients. They used to take first total history of patients illness, learning examination of clinical medicine. in a system wise. Every day classes started at 8 am sharp and ended at 5 PM as per scheduled routine with one hour break for lunch. Calcutta Medical College was then the most prestigious oldest college not only in West Bengal but in all over India. Similar was Presidency college. Satya in 1970s heard name of a student Amartya sen in Presidency College-who in 1998 Won Nobel prize in Economics for his social welfare theory. In the evening, there was emergency duty or either going to ward to examine patients clinically what Dr Mallick taught them in the morning bedside clinic hours. Senior House physicians ( Senior Dadas) then used to take evening class in groups in the wards up to 9 PM night. Satya was in study groups of Raja lahiri, Dr. Pradeep Banerjee, Dr. Sugata Bnerjee, Dr Sibarjun Ghosh, Dr Dipesh Mandal and many such. Of Them Prof Raja Lahiri was his room mate and close friend. Basu also passed MSc in physics, but with very low 2nd class marks- not a very good result he did to get any job in competitive market or doing a further a PhD. Because eligibility of doing a PhD or M Phil in Calcutta University Required then either First class marks or high second class MSc

 Satya asked Basu “ What is next now for you? Do you want to go elsewhere or trying for a school teacher’s job & living with your aunt and her family ? Or doing something else any other job? However you are now a recognized physicist by the UGC recognized Calcutta University” I think you may try for Forgien scholarships .There are many university who offers research fellows with your marks 

Basu promptly answered him “I told you earlier! I am in love with her now! She probably trusts me- I am not however damn sure. I am not also sure whether she is in love with me. But you trust me we practise physical relation every alternate weeks almost alike husband and wife does in their love play when children are asleep. She does not protest me now a days a little to share my pillow when her children falls asleep. I just take her in my bed when I desire her so. She also co-operates me obeys me silently. But she never came to my bed from her own instinct own desire, neither she ever stimulated me by herself.- It is always I- You understand my position! But she co-operates in all senses what ever I want. She expresses her ecstasy in her final pleasure only. I understand it, she accepts me only for her security and her three children to be grown up with my active help- alike their father. She is afraid that if I marry some one girl and leave her family and make them orfan. Of course I must not do that! I should not! She confesses that always- at least till her husband returns back- till days she believe in that- but I know, my sejka is dead five years back. They had brutally murdered him. She was also a Guerrilla. Active Squad member of CPIML Party. You understand my position? More over I myself also don’t know where to go and what to do ”. But I require a good job and I must try for that.

 Satya remained silent for some times- “ may I tell you something?”

---“Why not? You can tell anything you like”

----“Don’t you feel there remain many things for you to do for this rotten system in West Bengal? You are politicalized personality. Don’t you understand that men have to make world for themselves besides making love games play at bed and giving birth to clones? Just think of your sejka as an example! He was guerrilla fighter trainer in the CPIML party. Your aunt Kalyani was also a guerilla fighter, even in suicidial squad—you told me that”. Your sejka did a secured job in the Bank. Still he absconded for sake of revolution! Why? I think a revolution was really needed- but I am suspicious how much the revolution game or theatre, what ever you term it , will finally succeded and if really revolution comes in favour of the proletariats in West Bengal, it will require a glorious war then! At least this can be called then beginning and I have, why I should say I only, you have seen what poverty means in reality. My ill poor mom wants, I become a doctor for the poor, refugee, proletariat people in my area and for that I am in Medical College today. Otherwise, I would be in Presidency or Bengal Engineering college, where my father could provide me financially. My father wanted I become a politician my family suffers so much for support of my study. You must understand we need to change the society. Look Basu look around your yourself. The all ppors all helpless peoples landless peasants, all refugees-all are nothing but slaves in his own land. My father tells us as mousse and some mousse might turn to be militant one day or other and they must die. All are slaves in their own land. Don’t you feel that? Always scratching every way- my father tell- What did you like to do? Did you ever felt seek for them out? Did you ever join them actively? Did I ever join for them in their struggle? No Basu! No Yet. We support revolution to come mentally. We do student politics But I am doubt full how much I will be successful in future life? How many leaders and followers in DSA and DSO will finally turn out to be revolutionists? Your sejka joined them. He must be great. My father joined them. So we must suffer. But I don’t know what finally they will do! I did not yet put any pillow over my brother’s years and I shall not protest if any one goes in path of revolution. So you know why I do like Siddhartha. He still comes to my room often.

 Satya inside is most important- not that you consider?. Everything depends on that. They are mousse as Café table saw a young street hawker boy of around 27 was selling some jackets and woolen sweater on the footpath, close to the café door. Satya stared at that boy seeing him calling for buyer and then whispered- “look Basu at the street hawker! I hope he must be a little bit older than we are and struggling for survival for his family and I am probably sure that he has found his real war in his life. Most of proletariat and poor men do not know where to give actual fight and how to fight. That is economics. The family economics my father calls themselves ourselves also. But some mousse knows it how to for revolution. The whole revolutionary world knows about Lin Piao. He gave us probably the first fight in the fields of such war. I hope that you must have hard about Lin Piao of chinese movement idea of “class enemy”. Lin Piao was in china. The Lin piao turned the revolution into middle class theatre. Young middle class exhibinists in towns putting on peasants clothes and staining their skin with walnut juices going out to join in gangs and thinking that revolution meant killing of only policemen. The police had no trouble in wiping them out people in that kind of movement underestimate police ( taken from chapter “The rose sellers” of book “Magic seeds” by VS Naipal page-13] middle class people are so really dangerous people for anything.” I am giving you an example. Let me assume that there happened a real war as it once happened at Africa. But I am sure that the middle intellectual enemy class will be hindering force for successful outcome of any revolution. And Afterwards what people will say? They will say, we have lost some many brilliant young revolutionary intelligent people for the name of revolution. You know it very well and better than myself that both intellectual advancement and economic advance is so slow in West Bengal. In india , the landless labourers, peasants,refugees tries to move to the town for any job and earning and let me assume his son perhaps may become a clerk to live his destiny in slums in next generation, The clerk's son let me further assume will become either a doctor or an engineer or perhaps get a higher education from any university for his merit or may become a scientist like you and I am growing but getting a job is so difficult. And so we must finally conclude that to come a revolution it will require generations after generations to create that required pool of devoted revolutionary talents like Mao or Marx and by that time police will destroy the struggle we fight. Lin piao line I think is so foolish in the field of revolution. You must identify the class enemies and destroy them, hang them, guillotine them and those are simply upper class people and rich people of the country. So a revolution can not be succeeded by people like us. Revolution must come from below strata, from the low socioeconomic people, from the labour class people ,from the village people, from the landless people, from the refugees. There must not be any room for the middle class people neither in the leadership nor in taking part- they are masqueraders and you must understand that and so your sejka did correct things I must say. What does a middle class people do fight He has other things to do. A middle class mentality will never allow you to be a street hawker. He would have said he has another life to lead. I shall do a good, a very good academic career; I shall do a good job with an attractive salary; I shall have a false paper & visa and I have to go away from my home; I shall live my life in a unit family. I will pretend that I am a part society though in fact I do not belong to that( a kind of Feudalism) and will try to follow the living style of rich people. I must have a decorated flat; I must have AC machine one- two three cars to drive to my school,college and office I shall watch plasma TV and will know all forgein programme and will start to think that they are really mine. I shall forget my poor family people-if they wants help from me-but I shall go to costly restaurants and eat biryani,mutton curry and drink wine. ;I shall learn to drink Momo or whisky or wine and soon I will be counting my money and driving my car and I shall feel that I am like the people in advertisement. I shall marry good looking women an will go often to bed- all these Basu I told you are feudalism and look at the at this street hawker look at his face Does not he seems that he found his real war.He does not seem at all ashamed. Do you think that he is ashamed of his being a street hawker- Go and ask him . He might be a brilliant student like you and me. He may be a hons graduate. I think he is not ashamed at all.He appears to be aman with a cause.. he is a rue revolutionary

 In fact there are at least two worlds. Onwe world is ordered, setteled

 

Chapter 7 

 I was Basu’s maternal uncle While in earth 

7 I was Basu’s second maternal uncle his Sejka. But other people at first called me as “Abani” You readers know it, there is a famous poem of a leftist poet subhas mukherjee in kolkata “Abani Bari accho? And there was time, when Basu’s mother encouraged and taught him to address me in that very way “Sejka” and then he was probably five years old only. Later not only Basu, but everybody, my neighborhoods, even my party colleagues, the CPIML party, all members in Naxal vadi, our beloved captain Mr. Charu majumdar, of whom very shortly I shall describe , began referring to me in that way “Sejka Babu”. Our family was an uprooted destitute and flew away and crossed the border of then East Pakistan of chittagong district and we first came at a village adjacent to naxal vadi. My father at East Pakistan was an LMF doctor practicing there. He had an unbelievable fabulous practice there. My elder was a postmaster in his profession did not want to settle in a village in Siliguri district. My younger was a FRCS eye surgeon. In1960s around 16 years back, we moved from siliguri and came at Agarpara of north 24 parganas district purchasing a land and building one storied house at netaji nagar., with asbestos roof in a muddy kwacha road, shaded by tall coconut trees, mango trees, jam trees, pumpkin trees and big paddy fields in front of our house. Our house was known before the poor class people of that locality of netajinagar” we named it so based on a local club there, but even to distant locality as “Eye clinic” . It was only eye clinic among three or four railway stations. It was due to my next brother “ Asit”, I called him Sonar Bhai” who was an eye surgeon, a student of chittagong Medical college and had a FRCS degree and he used to practice at this house in a road facing room as his chamber, simple and common eye diseases and sometimes cataract or glaucoma operations at very low prices. At that time he had fees of Rs 2/= as his consultation- you people can never imagine that- He was a real communist and like chi –Guevara People of locality of Agarpara, sodepur, Belgharia, Khardha often used to come to him to check their eye problem, power or specs. He was then the only licensed eye surgeon by the West Bengal Medical Council as FRCS surgeon in local areas and he was dedicated to the scientific, rational services of the poor and refugees. He was the most and perfect genius personality I had ever seen and believer and follower of the undivided communist party of India. Villages like sodepur, madhyam gram, agarpara, Belgharia, dumdum cantonment, Birati, Barasat Ashoknagar Habra were then inhabitant of refuses of division of East Pakistan and Indian independence and followed riot amongst Bengalese & Muslims 1920s ,1947 and 1971s. Hindu people flew away from East Pakistan on road, on railways and took shelter along the rail line track lands and low lands of those villages. Those areas were then full of bushes, jungle trees, paddy fields and uprooted peoples took their first shelter in plastic tents provided by the government. With their sweat, they made those areas habitable lands. It was Satya’s father- a tall man “BholaBabu” we knew him then in hat name and local communist party and other left party who fought, settled with government, local municipality to provide them lowlands, marked by panihati municipality- established in 1905. As a rule there was tremendous poverty, lack of clear drinking water, problems in sewage disposals, sanitation and very often outbreak of cholera in those refugees’ camps and many aged people and children died of cholera then. ORS was not discovered by then.I joined the communist party in 1962. I was then a graduate engineer from Shibpur engineering college, I joined CPIML. I went for a long time in the underground training camp of Naxal Bari village with our chief commander and was strongly influenced by Mao- je -dang, Lenin of china’s revolutionary party line. And when I used to come back to our home on a summer time campaign, amongst the refugee colony people, amongst upper class school students, amongst college students, university students, amongst farmers, peasants, and landless people with my party friends and usually I would return home for 2-3 months stay. I used to see our only sister and Basu had also taken refuge in our home. Basus’s mother- may she now rest in peace loved my wife Kalyani much and though Kalyani was too young to her. They became friends with each other. Basu’s father was also a refugee and lived in another village of Bamangachi of Barasat district town of north 24 parganas. Bamangachhi and Barasat were not like todays. Bamangach was a village then – a total village. They were people from Dhaka. Basus father was a Sanskrit teacher in a village school. His father could never maintain his teaching post at that village school, because he was always ill tempered, angry and had weakness over local made alcohol “tari”. He used to drink alcohol and used to smoke Bidi. As a result, they were poor indeed. In fact, the salary of a school teacher, who used to make the backbone of nation India was then too poor to run one’s family smoothly. So Basu’s mother with Basu often used to take refuge at our house and Sona Bhhai used to give money for their family support. Our Sona Bhai was very kind hearted to our sister. Our sister used to cry for her fate with her such a husband and Basu was then a 6 years old boy and at that time he would also cry when his mother cried and became quiet when his mother felt silent. Basu’s father died of a sudden train accident- immature. He was drunk that evening and was crossing the rail line at night returning home. We had news of his run over in the rail gate of Baman ghachi, Hridaypur, crossing on the next day, when Basu’s mother in the next morning came to our house with such a Bad news. She became a widow next. During these years Basu’s mother brought him very frequently to our house, under very pittance, as she anticipated a future for Basu in our house and we brothers took their responsibility, his education at school. That was the time when kalyani was pregnant. I married kalyani – one of our sucide squad comrades and a party member. She was a graduate student in history at that time-before taking party membership, a smart girl with much attractive feminine figure. She used to take guerilla training in our camp and was one of the few activist members of the party amongst us. Our chief Captain Mr. Majumder had a special interest in her. But as per CPIML party norms and rules it was very difficult to marry a comrade with a pistol or a gun in or at her waist unless otherwise approved at party. She also had a great respect, admiration and love for our chief captain in the workshop. Our master was also a graduate student in engineering. In our workshop we were trained as guerilla fighters in deep jungles of hills in the name of a revolution in West Bengal – Naxalite movement. I then relished every my exercise demanding agility, boldness, audacity or stamina, even the most brutal ones that tested your will, Your obedience towards a superior, plunging into mud holes with a full field pack or surviving in the wild, drinking your own urine and chewing on stalks, weeds Grasshoppers. The word Naxal, Naxalite actually came from Naksalvadi, then became a very common term by almost all people of West Bengal and in all daily newspapers of West Bengal, and they used to refer to various Communist groups . The very term 'Naxal' was actually then derived from the name of a small village, Naxalbari, in our siliguri district, we took first shelter as a refugee from the East Pakistan after post independence division, in state of West Bengal, India, Here actually the revolutionary movement started for the landless people, who took their shelter as refugees, for peasants, for the economically poor and poorest people’s improvement, had its first origin with some kind of guerilla fighter trainers and trainee from the poor of poorest cultivators and landless farmers,peasants family and college and school students of poor section peoples family members. These kinds of people were then called the Naxal people. Those Naxals people were then considered far left radical in their political idealism, activities, but often many of them were highly educated and in real sense brillant communists, with high sort of idealism of declass society, we were spreaded and operating from different parts of West Bengal in schools and colleges . The origin of naxals can be traced back along with a split in 1967 of the Communist Party of India (Marxist), leading to the formation of the Communist Party of India (Marxist–Leninist) led by Mr. Mazumdar- our beloved captain and commander in chief. At Naxalbari, a section of the members of Communist Party of India (Marxist) (CPM) left the party and was led by our chief commander Mr. Majumdar, Mr. Sanyal , Mr. Chaterjee, Mr. Haque and Jangal Santhal, Mr, Dey, who called poor oppressed class people in their party and initiated a revolution movement in rural, suburban villages of West Bengal, with the displaced people of east Pakistan refugees, slum dwellers people, destitute people, oppressed people, and our chief called to fight these people against the landlords, big traders class, business class, rich class families in their own para who were stamped by them as class enemy and that impending revolution was dedicated by those leaders in the name for the poorer section of the society, who formed their own parallel government. In 1964, so far I now remember and was taught that CPM Party was splitted out from the united Communist Party of India for benefit of few persons as leaders of a next government- they could smell it like sniffers dog and the party line decided to participate in elections procedure, postponing any kind of armed struggle over the revolutionary policies in the West Bengal to a day when revolutionary situation prevailed in the country. In the year 1967 ,CPM so participated in election procedure and polls, which was against policies of a revolutionist, and formed a coalition United Front government in West Bengal with Bangla Congress. This led to schism in the party with younger but very intelligent cadres, including the “future visionary” our beloved captain, and he directly accused CPM front leaders of betraying the revolution process for poors and landless. On may 18, 1967, the Siliguri Kishan Sabha, in which Jangal Santhal became first the president of CPIML, declared mandatory Guerilla training with a lesson from Cuba and Bolivia and their readiness to quit members their conventional social life and relationship for and for readiness to sacrifice life for the sake of revolution and to adopt any kind of armed revolution to redistribute the land to the landless, to provide judgment for the poor people of the society, to provide food and minimum secondary level education at least for the poverty line people. They had no doubt very noble idealism. All left parties wants it as their manifesto. Initially the movement had its centre in West Bengal. In later years, it spread into less and non developed areas of rural, semi urban areas of central and eastern India, such as Uttar Pradesh, Chhattisgarh, Orissa , Andhra Pradesh, Jammu and Kashmir through the activities of underground guerilla groups . In the 1968, May 14: AICCR was re-named as All India Coordination Committee of Communist Revolutionaries (AICCCR) with comrade Roy Chowdhury as its convenor. The renamed body decided to boycott parliamentary and assembly elections. Within AICCCR , certain fundamental differences lead to the exclusion of a section of Andhra comrades led by Comrade Reddy. In 1969April 22: As per the AICCCR's February decision, a new party CPI (ML) was launched on the birth anniversary of Lenin. Mr. Majumdar was then elected as the Secretary of the Central Organising Committee. AICCR dissolved itself. Declaration of the party formation by Comrade Sanyal at a massive meeting on Shahid Minar ground, Calcutta. CPI (M) tried to disrupt the meeting resulting in armed clash between CPI (M) and CPI (ML) cadres for the first time. in 1970May 11: The first CPI (ML) congress is held in Calcutta under strict underground conditions. Comrade Majumdar was elected the party general secretary. In 1970s Initially the membership was raised to 30,000 of intelligent, educated class people at university level. The Naxalites people gained a strong presence and political support among the radical most intelligent sections of the students movement then in Calcutta in the name of organization of Democratic Student Organization(DSO). Students in suburban, rural villages left their school and college with call for revolution to join the Naxalites. Mr. Majumdar, to see gathering more and more students into his organization CPIML, declared that activist armed revolutionary warfare must to take place not only in the rural areas as before, but everywhere in the state and that would he hoped to be spontaneously like cuban revolution which was simultaneously going on by Fidel Castro and chi Guevara . Thus Majumdar declared an "annihilation line" like Cuban and Peruvian revolution, a dictum that Naxalites should assassinate individual "class enemies'' such as landlords, rich middle class,non proletariat businessmen, Trade man , Industrialists, High police officers, corrupted politicians. In the fear throughout Calcutta, most schools were shut down, many students joined Naxals. Naxals took over union office of Scottish church college, Presidency college, Bengal Engineering college Shibpur, Maullana-azad College, Gurudas college, Vidyasagar college, St Pauls college, Medical college, RG kar Medical college, Jadavpur University and used the machine shop facilities to make pipe guns to attack the police station and landlords. Their headquarters became Presidency College, Kolkata and Medical College Kolkata and Engineering colleges. The Naxalites found their supporters among some of the educated elites, and even from Delhi's prestigious St. Stephen's College, JNU of Delhi, alma mater of many contemporary Indian leaders and thinkers, became a hotbed of Naxalite activities. In the eastern states of the mainland India (Bihar, West Bengal and Orissa), they are usually known as, or refer to themselves as naxalists while in southern states like Andhra Pradesh they are known under other titles. During the 1970s, the movement was fragmented into disputing factions. By 1980, it was estimated that around 30 Naxalite groups were active, with a combined membership of 30,0000. * of both Right and Left) and others.About our great captain leader Mr. majumdar, I must say, he was rather born in a progressive landlord family in Siliguri in 1918, he not only dedicated his entire life to poor landless peasants' cause but also authored the historic 1968 Naxalbari uprising, the ideology that guided the red radicals even today. He was Son of an active freedom fighter, Charu Majumdar or CM rebelled against social inequalities even when he was a teenager. Later, impressed by "petty-bourgeois" national revolutionaries, he joined All Bengal Students Association affiliated to Anusilan group. Dropping out of jadavpur college in 1937-38, as a future bright engineer, he joined the Congress party and devoted himself in organizing with bidi workers. He later crossed over to CPI to work in its peasant front and soon won respect of the poors and downtrodden of Jalpaiguri and Darjeeling. Soon an arrest-warrant forced him to go underground for the first time as a Left activist. Although the CPI was banned at the outbreak of the World War II, he continued his organizing activities among peasants and was elected to the CPI Jalpaiguri district committee in 1942.The promotion emboldened him to organize a 'seizure of crops' campaign in Jalpaiguri during the Great Famine of 1943, more or less successfully. In 1946, he joined the famous Tebhaga movement and embarked on a militant struggle in North Bengal. The stir shaped his vision of a revolutionary struggle. Later he worked among tea garden workers in Darjeeling. For taking the road of the intertwined revolution, the CPI was banned in 1948 and CM was put behind the bars for next three years. He tied the nuptial knot with a fellow CPI member from Jalpaiguri - Mrs Majumdar Sengupta in January 1954. CM's growing ideological rift with the CPI came to force after the party's Palghat Congress in 1956. The 'Great Debate' across the communist world in the late 1950s propelled him to mull a revolutionary philosophy suiting Indian conditions.He was again jailed during 1962 for criticising the Nehru Government’s notorious attempt of Chinese expansion.The CPI split in 1964 over ideological differences among the cadres. Our chief captain Majumdar joined the breakaway part, the CPI (M), but could not go with its decision to participate in polls by postponing 'armed struggle' to a day when revolutionary situations prevailed in India. He kept a bad health during 1964-65 and was advised rest. But he devoted this time, even in jail, to study and write about the path of the Indian revolution on the basis of Marxism-Leninism-Mao Tse-tung thought. This exercise shaped his vision and ideas of a mass struggle, which were recorded in his writing and speeches of 1965-67. These were later called 'Historic Eight Documents' and subsequently formed the basis of Indian Communist Movement or Naxalism. The CPM formed a coalition United Front government with Bangla Congress in West Bengal in 1967 by betraying the cause of revolution.On May 25 the same year, the CM-led "rebels'' launched the historic peasant uprising at Naxalbari in Darjeeling district of West Bengal. The rebels annihilated the notorious police inspector – Sonam Wangdi, and created the foundation of India’s New Democratic Revolution. The state government’s Home Ministry headed by the CPI (M) leader Jyoti Basu brutally suppressed this movement by killing 11 women and 2 children. But the ideology of "naxalism" not only survived but also spread in different corners of the subcontinent. 

With the upsurge of naxalism in India, comrades from Tamil Nadu, Kerala, UP, Bihar, Karnataka, Orissa, Tripura and West Bengal set up All India Coordination Committee of Revolutionaries (AICCR) in CPI (M) on Nov 12-13, 1967. It was renamed as All India Coordination Committee of Communist Revolutionaries, which launched CPI (ML) on April 2, 1969 with Majumdar as its General Secretary. In 1970, the CPI (ML) organised its first party congress in Calcutta in strict underground conditions. CM was re-elected as the General Secretary. The Party Congress put forward the programme of protracted people’s war advocated the battle for annihilation of class enemies from the earth.Authorities mounted a fierce crackdown on Leftist movement across the country, particularly in West Bengal, Bihar and Andhra Pradesh, which climaxed during and after 1971 Bangladesh war with the killings of many key Naxalist leaders. By 1971, Comrade Majumdar and Comrade Dutta and Siddartha became India's most wanted men. In the early hours of 5th August, 1971, comrade Saroj Dutta was brutally murdered by the police at the Aryan Club ground and in 1976 comrade Siddartha Mukherjee- Satya’s best friend was brutally murdered by police Mr Guha Neoygi in Central Kolkata . As per the CPI (ML) records, Mr Majumdar was arrested from a Calcutta hideout on July 16, 1972, due to the betrayal of the then PCS of CPI (ML), Bengal Unit, Dipak Biswas.During his ten days in police custody in Lal Bazar lock-up, no one was allowed to see him -- not even his lawyer, family members or even a doctor. The Lal Bazar lock-up had achieved a reputation throughout the country for the most horrifying and cruel tortures of the world. He died at 4 am on July 28, 1972 in the same lock-up. Even the dead body was not given to his family. Police, accompanied by immediate family members, carried the body to the crematorium. The whole area was cordoned off and no other relatives were allowed in as his body was consigned to flames.Death of CM closed a vigorous chapter of Indian "revolutionary movement".Let me begin my story with the movement of the lower economic class people, refugees of 1940s,1972s partition, poorest of the poors Fench house dwellers, Tent dwellers , slum dwellers in village of Bankimpalli, purbapalli, at sodepur , Khardaha, Agarpara , Madhyam gram, Belgharia, and as a whole rather I must say why and what the movement of naxalism in West Bengal grew up and what was difference with CPM party that also was acting and growing also there. In fact, it is my opinion when I was living in the earth, that if only one revolution would be successfully happened in the total history of West Bengal , it was Naxal movement and[ as such I must entered in the fame box of immortality as Sahid] and presently in other form they call it as Maoist, the state and nation news papers says it so and government are very anxious of such movements?. I think before a critical analysis of such movements that readers, must have first a little knowledge and should memorize to understand that in the early history of communism in India went through a great rupture [1962-64] from its original communist party of India (CPI). I shall advice to look at the Meerut Conspiracy Case, dealt the emerging communist party a real sharp blow from its below the belt that resulted total break in the party. By the time elapsed next , the fragmented party had however reassembled with poor , slum rural destitute peoples, and by the time, the Communist International had come under the complete grip of Stalin himself and practice of communism thus converted in India and in West Bengal state also as like almost Stalinism influenced, that is the whip of directions of elite central detectors(central committee's or state committee decisions or guide line ) whip and guideline and that the party is every thing then life struggle of a poor person or a poor family members and the party is for just the party itself and not for family or its member’s individual problems and taking active part in electoral system of the country to acquire highest power of ministerial system by the state leaders and it had no doubt a baneful effects on the CPI. The Grass root workers ,who were rather pillars of the party are meant for just working groups or carrying out upper level decisions or verdicts without any fruit for them. Beggars should have no choice – though the Beggars may be pillars. You Must be Pleased what we throw towards you as part of our food. So many unwanted people who were not really at all left minded , Dhandabaz , Skeptic ,but of upper ,upper middle class or rich class or bourgeois class, class enemies as per definition of classical marxism entered and got membership within the party for their own benefit and protection as they sensed that the party very soon will come in state ruling power to form state level ministry. This however, I do not mean at all that the CPI or CPM achieved nothing from them. These bourgeois class people always wanted and tried to guide the party central or state leaders in a very wrong way. What I want to mean before the readers of my story that the revolutionary characteristic and traditions of classical Marxism were then highly distorted in a number of various crucial ways with passage of time, for next 20 long last years, and that later started conflicts within the major currents of the Indian communists remained locked within Stalinist parameters. In the case of Bengal/West Bengal, I would argue, an additional component was the influence of the then revolutionary nationalist tradition at least in north 24 parganas and south 24 parganas districts. The very significant number of revolutionary nationalists (the were called however today for some unknown reasons as “terrorists”) who became converted to communism in jail accepted certain political ideas (not mere political independence, but also social and mostly essential economical, educational changes of poor and poorest people, peasants class, labourers class Bangladesh refugee people through rather an armed revolution like cuban or peruvian or revolution or that was happening in venezuela ), certain philosophical views (materialism, atheism), but they brought also their own prejudices and cast feelings . Notably, their rejection of Indian Gandhism had been based on a simple counter position of violence and non-violence, and therefore the simple equation of both revolution and violence was sometimes carried over in the villages of the state. Equally was important I think, today was the top down approach of the revolutionary groups, and the seamless manner in which this merged with, and that provided an indigenous basis for the acceptance of Stalinist vanguardism, which replaced Lenin’s real concept of building a class vanguard that would be in constant dialogue with the mass of labour workers, by the imagery of transmission belts and commands or instructions from above being implemented by those to lower down grass root organisers like Siddartha, and I am So sorry that Siddartha had to quit from this earth on his 23 rd birth day.

Classical Marxism and naxalism as I Saw and felt : So far I had understood,[ before my death in an encounter with police in a paddy field at andhrapradesh village] ,There are many things that one can however learn from philosophy and economics of classical Marxism too. Classical Marxism is a mathematical science indeed. And mathematics is true that governs the whole universe. Revolution is so must. Only time becomes a factor. For an assessment of any kind of revolutionary movement, claiming himself or herself to be a real Marxist, however, I needed to begin by looking at the core political components of that revolution. I read that repeatedly, that Marx and Engels also argued in the same issues “the emancipation of the working classes, labour classes, Peasants classes work force is the original task of the working labour classes themselves in the feudal or capitalist society for establishments of any marxist pro-proteriate revolution if wanted from core of heart by these proletariat people group”. This should be the central plank of the marxist politics, what was my opinion as member of the CPIML party. In the rules of the International Working men’s Association which once wrote by Marx himself, so far my memory said when I was living in the earth, Marx himself argued that the goal of worker’s class societies must be “the protection of his/her family members from poverty, from malnutrition ,food crisis, employment, education, the advancement as a community and complete emancipation of the working classes in a locality or in a commune system.” As MarX pointed out, in the third Thesis on Feuerbach, Marx himself “opposed the idea of higher educators from outside areas or colonial teaching rather local teaching for the masses from surroundings , sufferings, pointing out that any ‘ such educator’, that is socialist theorist, must oneself learn the meaning of socialism or communism through regular working at grass root level of community participating and solving day to day problems of poor and poorest ,illiterate, peasants in a locality and through all revolutionary practices in his own life and style –that in fact Satya’s father Bholababu, Mr. Gopal Das , Satya’s friends , kalyani’s family , Basu’s father and many refugee class people practised in their life in reality in 1970s. According to myself What I In other words tell you my massages, That the socialistic theory can bring the ideological changes in human beings in a locality, or in a village, or in a state, in a country, could only be continuously developed through such revolutionary practices in the leaders of party’s life, which would also change the material circumstances. The very concept of working labour classes, self-emancipation I here meant that the revolution was not a going to be a process, where a small number of educated upper economic classes, selfish but wise people would dominate the masses as leaders of the party and decide what would be good for them- that which finally went on happening in West Bengal since late part of 1980s. This was the principal tradition of the socialist/communist party left front members’ currents during the period in mid 1980’s- to early 2010, Bazaar economy, serving the upper class, upper middle class population , changing policy of democratic socialism towards capitalism and denying needs of poor, unemployed, peasants, and seizing the lands from poor peasants for special economic zone(SEZ) and heavy private industry at Singur and Nandigram issue put last pin in the coffin of a CPIM party in 2011 however, and though Marx and Engels stood out by their break , with this traditional directions from Alimuddin street party office in West Bengal. This also made inevitable destruction, as their next key point. This changed the nature and role of the revolutionary party according to myself as dead person’s ghostly conscious. They did next mean to ignore the real need to build a real revolutionary CPIM party by hiding behind the voices and talk of poor and poorest working-class self-emancipation through bullets and using State armed police forces?. But some people of them , they saw the revolutionary party as comprising the most militant activists and aware of the members of the working poor class. and while they did not also deny the role of bad elements from other elite, middle or rich classes people, they made it clear, that the communist party could not be made up at all chiefly of such proletariat, illiterate, refugee, peasants, landless, slum elements. Such a generalized picture, of course, did not give us the full complexity of their views. But they did go on to elaborate their intellectual positions by, on one hand, developing analyses of concrete situations, and on the other hand, by presenting critiques of other socialisms or communistic idealism in other countries. Thus, in a number of critiques of the theorists of conspiracy and insurrection, they showed that conspiracy kept out the masses of millions poor workers, but not the state police force or court. And in a telling comment, they finally dubbed advocates of such methods the “alchemists of revolution in West Bengal”. For their own beneficiary part, I think, they laid stress on two key issues – the creation of independent working class political action including class participation in elections, Trade union , coordination , and the development of a new socialist theory within independent working class parties-like left front. In an 1850 essay, So far I memorize, when Marx himself argued that any secret organizations led by professional educated conspirators could not draw in the broad masses of the proletariat in their organizations- it extinguishes automatically –giving origin of a new revolutionary party :These conspirators of the CPM party in West Bengal did not confine themselves to the general organization of the revolutionary proletariat of the state. It was rather precisely their business to anticipate the process of revolutionary development in West Bengal and in Tripura state, to bring it artificially toward a crisis point, to launch a revolution on the spur of the moment . . . they are so the alchemists of the revolution . . . and have the profoundest contempt for the more theoretical enlightenment of the proletariat about their class interests. Thus Marx was explicitly counterposing a scientific theory of a communist party, capable of explaining theory and organising the proletariat for struggles, to the pre-scientific (“alchemical”) party which advocated substitutionism and was contemptuous about developing real class-consciousness.While discussing what should be then the strategy of revolution for backward state (of particular interest for the poor people like us), should Marx and Engels come to an argue, by looking at Germany, that the upper middle class people, bourgeoisie[ who are not actually rich, belong to middle or lower middle class but they behave or pretend like reach class people in their lifestyle, notional ideas, support Bazzar system, private system and they do always suffers from false ego of enjoying false status in his/her society or before disadvantageous class people and utilize them for their own self ] was utterly incapable of leading any democratic revolution and they must not be CPM party members. If revolution triumphed somehow, the upper middle class, bourgeoisie class would always try to enter into a deal with the rulers, governmental system, landlords, rich class and the semi-absolutist monarchy. So the main task of CPM party would be to build a bloc of the working class, the peasants, and the petty bourgeois democrats, and within that, to strive to create working class hegemony. This was summed up in the famous Address of the Central Authority to the Communist League, where they talked about a “revolution in permanence”. An added point of great significance, very often was ignored, is that their revolutionary strategy involved a struggle for consistent democracy, and that this meant, not repudiating the gains made by liberal-democracy, but extending it far beyond anything liberalism could achieve The key contradiction of naxalism in West Bengal state flowed from its inability to break the shackles of Stalinist substitutionism what I would think when I was alive in the earth . Who would rather play the leading role in the revolutionary process was the aim question then? Formally, all “Marxists” begin by answering, “the working labour class”. But then, for the sake of Social Democracy, and decision of participation in parliamentary , assembly and municipal electoral processes, the role of the working class was gradually exhausted by voting for the socialist party periodically. For the Stalinists then , however the party represented by the working class. The voice of the CPIM party’s politburo became thus the actual voice of the down rotten working poor class for all practical purposes. Whether “revolutionary” or “reformist”, parties of Stalinist orientation agreed that the party’s central and state leaders were the conscious section of the class, not because, it continuously replenishes itself by recruiting the best-as they used to say , or most militant activist elements of the working class and ensured a continuity of proletarian family leadership-which did not in fact happened, but because by self-proclamation and definition, the party was the vanguard of the class consciousness. Some revolutionist so then accepted the Chinese Commnist Party’s leadership, including its glorification of Stalin, the CPI(ML) was opening itself to some extent the same kind of errors in the question of their leadership. The programme of the party though said that “the working poor, destitute class, refugee class, slum dwellers class, unemployed class can and will exercise its leadership over the Peoples’ Democratic Revolution though its political party”, the CPI(ML). This assumed to me that the working poor unorganized class people had possibly only one political party ie CPIML left for them . Moreover, the working class, refugee sections did not have any other organisational forum beside CPIM through which it can express its viewpoint. This suspicion hardens, when we also read that the working class will play its vanguard role by sending its class conscious vanguard elements to organise and could lead the armed struggles of the peasants, poor economic sections of the state. In other words, the central task of the party was seen as organising a cuban or peruvian armed revolution in the State of West Bengal. In a country, with its rich working class history, decades of patient communist work among the workers, the development of trade unions, this was an utterly destructive line. About the cities, our the captain Mr Mazumdar had only hopes of such revolution . The Political-Organisational Report adopted by the first Congress of the CPI(ML), asserted that through the process of building the party, the revisionist line had been defeated. One aspect of this revisionist line was the building of mass movements and mass organisations for poors economic demands to live minimum standard. In addition, it was claimed that the armed struggle of the peasants was inspiring the labour workers and the petit bourgeoisie. In other words, the leading role of the working class was a token genuflection to the canons of Marxism. Majumdar’s speech on that occasion said that building the party means the development of an Guerilla armed class struggle. (missing out the “armed” was tantamount to instant degeneration). About the cities, he just expressed the hope that a revolutionary tide would come among the higher school students, college university students and workers, not only in Calcutta, but everywhere in India. How it would come, by withdrawing revolutionary cadres from the mass movements and organisations, was left however totally unexplained by him . Revolutionaries who opposed giving up the trade unions had already found themselves being ignored, and were then pushed out. Dipankar Bhattacharya ,Siddartha Mukherjee, Prkash Ghosh, Parimal Dasgupta from Bengal, Purnendu Majumdar, Pravas Roy in South Bihar (now Jharkhand) had to go in their own ways and were murdered in police encounter. Further articles by our beloved captain majumdar showed the real content of his strategy. Thus, the article ‘A Few Words About Guerilla Actions in a cuban style where I and kalyani and many others were trained in MIR style’, revealed that actually it was also a petty bourgeois led peasant action, and had nothing to do with the real poor working class. Another article by Majumdar, ‘To the Working Class’, repudiated general strikes as ineffective, repudiated economic struggles in the name of opposing revisionism, and simply exhorted workers to participate in armed peasant struggles.Indeed, our beloved captain argued that it was not possible for workers to defend themselves with trade unions, so the party should not build or bother about trade unions, but only build secret party organizations among the workers. Blood shed and barricade fighting were envisaged, but without struggles that would really enhance the consciousness of the working class – unless exhorting them to read Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse Tung and attacking the revisionists count as real struggles. Why did Marx and Engels stress the historic role of the working class and why did they insist on protracted learning processes through participation in concrete struggles? Two points must be made clearer with my explanation about the revolution in West Bengal. The first is again the implementation of basic Marxist strategy, that the emancipation of the working classes was a task force of the working classes,poor clases themselves, should not be handed over to a group of self-proclaimed bourgeoisie enemy class revolutionaries even if they drape the Collected Works of Marx and Engels over their bodies.But why the working class? Marx’s reply was that the feudal system, capitalism reproduces itself by exploiting alienated labour, unemployed in every possible way. The historical tendency of the struggles of the workers often goes far beyond the tendency of peasant struggles for life. The poorest of peasant, as a peasant, wishes for a little bit of land, a space, however illusory for them, within the existing system. The worker do often realizes that the existing system gives to workers only mere wages. The separation of direct producers from the means of production can only be overcome by the socialization of products of three Dimensional or food production, by workers management of publicly owned property. Secondly, as a class, who occupy a family structure concentrated in any position in capitalism, feudalism, workers, labourers, peasants can stop their family economy functioning lavishly or smoothly if they do not spend their labour or intelligence. Finally, objectively, as collective producers, the working class has the power to create such an exploitation-free society, village, state or country. A rejection of this meant that the revolutionary aspirations of the large number of cadres who went to the new party and groups were wasted. The contradictions of naxalism also meant that the Maoist forces in India, whether the CPI(ML) or those outside it, had a complicated and mistaken view of “socialism” then. For them, the Soviet Union was “social imperialist”, while China was “socialist”. Having accepted that despite the little blemish here and thee, Stalin and the Stalin era had meant the construction of socialism, they ended up accepting the view that abolition of private ownership constituted socialism,- which was in most time a correct form of socialism, but however it was without any serious discussion on the essential need for workers’ democracy at our time. On the other hand, since they condemned the Soviet Union as “social imperialist”, the line of the political party at the helm was seen as the crucial factor between socialism and capitalism. Finally, an utterly idealist attitude, following the “Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution '', was taken about the nature of class struggle under socialism. Rotten apples in the superstructure were supposedly capable of overturning a basically sound base.A correct understanding of the fate of the Russian revolution had been among the most important issues in deciding a revolutionary line anywhere, throughout most of the twentieth century. Socialist democracy, the meaning of the dictatorship of the proletariat, the transition from capitalism and the economic issues involved, all have implications for the future of revolutionary movements elsewhere. Here, the cause was that Naxalite revolutionaries failed, because they were unable to question the basic arguments of Stalinism. One party rule remained unquestioned. Only if the party turned bad, the country changed from socialist to capitalist. The role of soviets, or analogous forms of institutions was ignored. Bourgeois democracy was not to be extended by socialism, rather, bourgeois democracy was to be simply rejected.This made the difference between the CPI(ML), or the other leftist organisation in West Bengal, on one hand, and the CPI(M) on the other, a difference based on the will of the cadres, and nothing more. The revolutionary struggle was begun in 1967 (taking the announcement of “Spring Thunder” as the beginning). Yet the working class that had grown up already was highly ignored by CPIM during last two decades. The reality of bourgeois democracy in West Bengal was brushed up. For certain Naxalite groups, like the CPIML(Maoist) they continued to be basically irrelevant. As a matter of fact, this meant a refusal to engage with the objective reality of West Bengal state, and to impose an utterly illusory line. Of course, reality proved stronger than the utopian illusions. The experience of China, or even of Russia, in both of which countries there was little or no real civil society today, and where the ruling class ruled almost entirely through force, without democratic human rights, do not provide all the lessons for revolutionary strategies in countries where there have existed some form of bourgeois hegemony. At the same time, by removing all revolutionary cadres from a number of areas, the struggle to establish the hegemony of the revolutionary forces was given a go by. It was assumed that the example of rural armed struggle would replace concrete struggles in working class areas. Moreover, this was based on an extremely deformed reading of a few passages of What Is To Be Done?, according to which the party injects class consciousness from outside and the working class by itself can only develop bourgeois consciousness .The assumption that only the most exploited were revolutionary, meant the exclusion of the organised workers, those having a little better pay or working conditions. This of course ignored the reality that they had obtained those slight gains because of militant struggles, not because the ruling class was buying them up through bribes. If ultra leftism of a very old kind was behind all these mistakes in West Bengal (after all, Lenin had criticised exactly these errors – boycotting elections, boycotting unions, and so on – in Left Wing Communism: An Infantile Disorder), inability to look sufficiently into the shortcomings of Stalinist communism was at the root of another set of mistakes. Notably, special oppression remained originally ignored. Even later, it was often not theoretically discussed, so measures taken were sometimes ad hoc. Gender, caste, indigeneity, were not taken as important markers for revolution. The party programme simply mentioned that the Peoples’ Democratic State would, inter alia, “ Must abolish the caste system, remove all social and economic inequalities... and guarantee equality of people. That class unity in reality could not be forged till these inequalities were addressed in the revolutionary process and within the working poor class received no recognition. A big part of the Communist movement, including its revolutionary wing, was extremely suspicious of feminism, love factors which they seeing in it a bourgeois or petit bourgeois current, even though in India, feminism had a strong socialist component right from the beginning in the early 1970s. Neither the party, nor its struggles, were often gendered. At the same time, the Naxalite movement did provide an impetus for many young women as well as men. As Kalyani often pointed out before me, the inspiration from a female provides the movement immense. Till the mid-sixties, in most women’s colleges, there were no directly elected unions. Girls nominated by the authorities ran the unions. The militant student-youth movement of the mid to late 1960s changed that picture. Women also took part in the ideological struggles around the Naxalbari peasant struggles. They fought in the jails, put up red flag, and confronted the jailers. Moreover, the path of Naxalbari meant challenging existing values in a way that the mainstream left had not been doing for a long time. Among these was a rebellion against domestic discipline and conservatism. That so many young women came to the new party was because, in Kalyani’s words, “the opportunity to breathe in free air”. Failure to identify patriarchy as a distinct enemy to be combated may have limited the endeavours of these cadres. But the call to immediately join the revolution was something that enabled them to overcome in practice many of the constraints of patriarchy. So if the CPI(ML) did not provide all the solutions, nor did it stand as a force of traditional conservatism. In the same way, the formal position of the party talked only about class, in a very abstract way. But the struggle to bring in poor peasants, after the end of the first phase, meant entering into new terrains. The focus on the landless peasants led to a recognition of the complex interrelationship between caste and class in India. However, while the far left were grappling with the complexities of caste-class relations, for the mainstream Stalinist left caste was simply semi-feudal remnant that would be overcome with the development of capitalism, till the Mandal Commission Report implementation forced them into some kind of awareness (even then limited to electoral purposes). The major problem that the legacy of the original path of Naxalbari left was however its rejection of the reality of bourgeois democracy and the need to work out a new strategy to fight for revolution in a country where a bourgeois democracy did exist. An idealisation of bourgeois democracy does never any good according me. It is a very restricted democracy. Yet even that, by providing certain apparent alternatives, keeps a grip on masses. Secondly, the legacy of Stalinism, its distorted democratic centralism where the leadership has too little accountability to the party ranks, also has been a major problem. Moreover, the legacy of Stalinism has meant a legacy of the two-stage theory of revolution and popular frontism, or alliances with bourgeois partners, as revealed by the Trinamool-supporting Naxalites of 2009. Finally, if workers who demand democracy, or party members who form tendencies over ideological conflicts, are immediately branded capitalist roaders, or thrown out of the party, then one will forever split into two, two will never unite into one. Not “revolutionary authority”, but workers democracy is the answer here. But in order to carry this task to the end, to turn to revolutionary Marxism, one has to subject the path of Naxalbari to a more thoroughgoing critique, without giving up its revolutionary inspiration. there also some elite group public rejections, untoward reportings of Burozoa daily news papers. A journalist plays always vital roles to public acceptance and rejection and leading toward mass movements. Actually it was the then very brutal Chief Minister,  Mr Ray of the then Congress Party, who himself entered in the pandora box of immortality for eliminating and ending Naxals and their impending revolution in West Bengal, in Panjub and in Jammu Kashmir as CM and Governor of the states, who instituted strong state police forces including military encroachment war and all kinds of possible countermeasures against the Naxalites caders, college students and who supported them even morally . The West Bengal police fought back to stop all the Naxalites revolutionary activities and all their movement. They had to do avoiding all kinds of spy ,from underground networks. The house of mr. Mitra, then he was Congress party MLA from Sealdah, was turned into a torture chamber, where Naxal students Association( DSO/DSA) from The Presidency College, Medical colleges, Hindu Hostels, NRS Medical collge and from Calcutta University were incarcerated illegally by whole police force Police of West Bengal and the Congress cadres. CPI-M cadres were also involved in the "State terror". After suffering, thus much losses and facing newspapers of our chief comrade secretary and comandant Majumdar's "annihilation line", the Naxalites alleged human rights violations by the West Bengal police, who responded that the state was effectively fighting a kind of undeclared civil war and that democratic pleasantries had no place in a war, especially when the opponent did not fight within the norms of democracy and civility. Reasons for failure, 1967-1975. In a methodical study, Dr. Sailen Debnath MS(cal), Mch (cal), Dr Pabitra Guha (MD) Dr. Swaroop Sarkar MD(cal), Arunalok chakraborty MD(microbiology) who were then leaders of students front of Naxalite party from Medical colleges had surmised the consequences and reasons of failures of the Naxalite Movement organised by Majumdar and Sanyal. They wrote What? "The Naxalite movement, though continued intensively from 1967 to the middle of 1975s and resurfaced after some years, could not go a long way achieving anything commendable because of the following reasons:-

1. The Naxalites peoples wanted to surround the towns and cities by the villages, i.e. they wanted to encircle the urban centres with organized labour, Slum dwellers, Refugees, peasant forces of the local villages. If the peasant ,slums, refugee militants could have occupied the cities, and towns of West Bengal, according to our beloved chief Majumdar, the so-called bourgeois people’s congress government would fall making the passage to the coming of a democratic socialist government; but the Naxalites could not finally and did not come up to a stage capable of organizing the peasants, slum dwellers, beggars, refugee peoples in most effective manner and thereby failed encircling the towns and cities. They were rather in isolated groups and mostly remained and worked as underground like that happened in early cuban revolution. 

2. our chief Majumdar and Mr saynyal gave a high importance for secret underground organizations and Guerilla armed training of its special cadre members for the purpose of eliminating the upper class, upper middle class, Landlord and higher police officers , and corrupt politicians of the state as class enemies. As the Naxalites did not have mass level organization in West Bengal, but in several isolated groups and their works were from underground level, they lost mass people support. Only with selected few armed elements or militants, who were not properly educated in political line, no big thing could be done whatever highest idology lies behind them. The reality they could not feel at all. 

3. "Khatam first your class enemy for the sake of revolution-who ever it may be- may be he is your father, uncle, your beloved teacher or your own brother or sister-your own blood" was their main slogan or the action of eliminating the so-called class enemies –they themselves marked them in rural villages or in urban or in semiurbans of near by kolkata but could not do it in metroplitan city or other towns or cities, where actually most class enemies people are often concentrated or built houses ,palaces, mansions, Flats ,for their living with all kinds of earthian facilities and lavishness ,like a bat sucking blood in fudal ways , was probably a wrong principle of political mobilization by the individual murder of selected few people whose political class- economic character was never adjudged by their socio-economic conditions- may be even proletriate, and the properties they possessed, but rather very often only by their political affiliation or by the name and colour of the party or parties they directly or indirectly belonged to for a long or a short period of time. For example, in Jalpaiguri and Alipurduar they killed some petty jotedars who otherwise could have been comrades in action against the capitalists or fudalists or could be friends in a revolution for radical changes. 

4. Recruitment of cadets in the Naxal party was then never done on the basis of proper judgment and scrutiny of the political characters, socioeconomic character-whether they in reality belonged to proletariat groups or not and also by the behaviours of the recruits. It so happened that many people only to feast on their animosities with their personal enemies got recruited in the Naxalite party only to utilize the help of the Naxalites to have their personal enemies in the neighbourhood killed on the basis of pseudo-identification of them as class enemies. 

5. In many cases, dreaded criminals too enrolled in the Naxalite party with the aim of getting firearms and to train themselves in the manufacture and use of firearms. Thus very soon the party turned into an organization of professional criminal outfits who soon deserted the party after obtaining training or weapons. Many of these armed criminals soon began to carry out armed robberies. In many cases, they also informed the police about the hidden training centres of the Naxalites so as to avoid becoming victims of the Naxalites’ targets as approvers in favour of the government.. 

6. The ruling Congress party inserted spies inside the unguarded 

6. The ruling Congress party inserted spies inside the unguarded and porous Naxalite organization to gather information about its secret bases and arrest its supporters. Government intelligence personnel and police disguised as Naxalite sympathizers got into the party’s inner organization and rounded most of its leaders including Charu Majumdar into the jail. Thus police had information about the movements of Majumdar after he had gone underground in 1970, and he was arrested in Calcutta in July, 1972. He died in jail days after his arrest, probably on the night of 27th or 28th of July. It is not known how he died, although the government reported that he died of a heart attack. 

7. Ordinary people in villages were terrified at the brutal and gruesome ways they killed the fellow villagers vilifying them as class enemies. As for example, at Bholardabri in Alipurduar they killed Rajen Pandit who was a refugee from East Pakistan and arduously was running a family of 12 dependents. By any means he was no class enemy at all. In another case they killed a person, chopped his head off the torso and hung the head and the torso down the branches of trees with ropes in two separate places, the horrible sights of which cast a gloom on the faces of bemoaning villagers. After that, Naxalites could count on no support from the villagers. 

Nay! When did I fell in love and began to think of my marriage with kalyani seriously, the first people ,she probably had introduced me with one of her girlfriends in her village Sahana…… and she was though a middle fare complexioned girl, was also good looking girl, the charming and flirtatious and she had been her bosom friend since her primary schooling time –she told me. After some maneuver, I went with her two friends for a boating sail in a large lake, the local Raj Bangshipeople called it ZHIL, and with Kalyani on the dock of that JHEAL I told her about our marriage. Two girls with dirty forks were selling their fishes,they caught in their fishing net . That was the reality in their village. We struck up a conversation and then I went with them to the local municipal band Party and concert. There I danced with kalyani and her friend Sadhana, who danced like a Bombay made film like heroin stars, on hindi voice songs. Both Kalyani and I felt madly in love in that concert. The second day, we went out for a bengali movie starring by Uttam kumar and Suchitra Sen “Deya neya”; and Silpi Next day, where in the darkness of cinema hall, I could kiss on her thick lips and told her she seemed to be the women of my lip, though she is a dangerous comrade cadere of CPIML party ,in the sucide squad by her choice- intended for an armed revolution(?). I thought , I could never be with anybody else before, beside her. However I do confess now, that I had said all these during my college period in Shibpur Bengal Engineering college. I had also probably said these at least for three women and they did believe me, went to share me as my pillow partner. But this time, I meant that seriously. Kalyani took me next to meet her parents, elder brothers and sister in her village house next and she invited me to lovely at her aunt’s house too, where I told them that I was planning to marry her. They approved my enthusiastic approach and her aunt was a lovely women no doubt. I asked finally her parents for her hand but they were also afraid knowing of our idealism and party membership. In accordance with, they requested me authorization from the party and they told me that our chief in commander was their distant relative and he had much expectation with kalyani and it was the rule to take authorization to marry a comrade, from the higher commanding officer of the party. It was my first clash with the party front line leaders with a strong fasist reality, that despite I was 26 years and kalyani 21 years, I was at splendid grade ,magnificent record as an electrical graduate engineer and as a comrade,[ and by this time all the party comrades might knew about all these our love] the chief in commander,the newly elected secretary of party pretended as if he had known nothing of it. So the reply to my request was to marry kalyani was at first negative and was delayed much. The newly elected secretary first answered me” it has to be discussed with core body to be passed and needs about three months time”. We only knew that our newly elected secretary, commander in chief Mr Majumdar was her distant relative and the same request might reach to him from kalyani’s parents and aunty. When he heard of my request, the chief in commander, secretary summoned me one day in his office. The chief had a peculiar gaze at me- a gaze that no one could endure without lowering his eyes. His piercing eyes through his thick glasses seemed to read the most secret and hidden thoughts and dreams and made people almost naked before him- I realized. I was enough for me to walk into his underground office, then click my heels as military commandants and announce my presence in the most martial voice of my throat could produce then” I, Mejka babu- Mr Abani is at your service my Excellency”

-“Come in” said the sharp, thin voice of the man who sat at the other end of the room leaning on a wooden table ,writing something and not looking up at me. I went further some step and stood before him in attention, not even moving my muscles. He wore a cotton loonge and had a bare , thin chest. On his left hand finger, I saw a ring with a little precious stone, according to superstitions, it was probably his engagement ring with mrs. Majumdar- whom I never saw. I heard they had a daughter too.

 “You have a good training and are a fighter for the revolution!” I heard him to say

Thank you very much “ _ I answered the beloved comrade. The black coloured back brushed head moved a little and those large staring eyes under the thick two glass, with brightness but without any humor” I have never was afraid of my life and probably you too- our life is sacrifised?”

 “A good record may be as a future revolutionist for our poor fascist state and government and country can not be stained by a simple marriage. What do you think of it? However remember we are revolutionary communist and in my own government friends and enemies can not mix”

He spoke so quietly, not releasing me from his penetrating eyes and gaze. The chief of our comrade might be a future great statesman, where whose vision would add capacity to work to make an armed revolution successful throughout the state West Bengal, nay! Throughout the country, but what was relation with that with our marriage as a human?. He cleared his voice “there are lot of women in this country you can find another if you like. Why kalyani?////

 in fact, I murdered that wretched, treacherous, landlord, secondary school teacher Assistant head master, and I must tell you the very truth that I was not in fact at all afraid or a little sorry for that murder. I till know and often felt that I had not committed any kind of sin or any kind of crime at all before my state West Bengal or my country India or to my GOD- and that murder was so necessary for the sake of revolution. What did Mao Je Dang tell us? “The barrel of gun, the Gun Powder is the ultimate way of political power to gain, if not by nagotion, and for a successful revolution first kill your class enemy”. You know it that, during the 1960s , in our time such a slogan was so popular in West Bengal people , at least before the revolutionists students and workers of CPIML. Behind the curtain of the popularity of such a dangerous slogan were nothing but bitter experiences of toughest life, proletariat classes, labour class, unemployment. This treacherous teacher took shelter of police against us – to the congress ruling government - the state. If you look back at France Bolshevik revolution and in any or all countries, where ever a little kind of revolution started where chained, bonded, proletariats labourer, human minds, human soul wanted liberation, freedom, better living,job security,two meals, there then the state government or country government ministerial immersed their all legitimate claims hitting on spine of revolution through police force with help of spy giving the name of a politics. So, I had also no other choices but to murder him. He became the spy and informer to the nearby police force, of our underground activities -for the revolution in a sub urban village and organization- we were almost ready. However, I had believed that I may also be murdered by police force encounter any moment any time. However and in fact, I was not afraid of being murdered by any police officer. We were trained guerrilla fighters however. I myself knew how to take life and how to sacrifice my own life when required. But I could not ever believe that I could take any school teacher’s or college teacher’s life also. What could I do else? The foolish teacher was then acting as secret agent, as spy to the ruling government to the police officers. I knew that after the school teacher was murdered {I can assure you the reader that he felt little pain while dying [his young but beautifully fatty wife with her full term youth will not have his news for several days and weeks and long searching him here and there. His only daughter, who is of almost of same age of my daughter {he mentioned it before us before his death] will spend from crying up and must be staring fretfully at the courtyard gate of his three storied building. But I was not coward This murder I did for the sake of revolution, as that teacher was a traitor, class enemy and by the order of the chief- I murdered that unfortunate victim in very ordinary manner without a little troubles to him. Before this I did not commit any crime, never there being a murdered takes some getting use to so. So I could not stand being at my home with my family anymore. So I absconded in the middle night for their security purpose at least. I had to come out to the street. I could not even finally stand also on a street. So I started walking. I walked on and on, another ad another ad another street. As I stared at my passer by at different places at people face, I met, while walking, I realised that many of them believed they were quiet innocent, because they had not yet obtained that opportunity to take part in the revolution or to stuff out a life of a jotter teacher, At most they wear some what stupider experiences, because they have not killed yet and like all fools they appear to have good introituses with their wives or lovers or some one else. What will happen to the young full fatty widow of that teacher? What will be her uses of her introituses? She will, why will she must, some day offer some one after will be abstinence and some one must be there to fill her introituses next. So I did not felt guilt also for her. I was really sorry only for her daughter who lost her father for ever at her age.

 The long way questions before me, was why and at all, that kinds of revolution was really required in the West Bengal? Only because, country laws did not permit equality of poor class? poorer class? Proletariats class? proletarians peasants? Land-less farmers? Trade milers labourers, who works and produces every things for noble class upper class, middle class, people by their sweats? Killing Jotdar People? Destroy and of hateable Feudal, and capital system from individual family and followers? For an Idealism? Killing the class enemy? Who determines who is the enemy of whom? Class enemies? Based on then what kind of law? Family/individual economics? Family laws Casteism? Both were important? Even Laws in our country in India is also important? They divided people also in classes. Noble and advantageous and others! Just think for once! Our country, our state says every one’s responsibility is to know law. Law is equal for every person in India, be he is a beggar or a rich living in mansion, be he is a peon or a train hawker and a chief justice. But ask any people in our contry?. Our laws are not generally known by most? Laws-the constition of India gives every people of the country right for education, right for food, right for good living, right for safe drinking water right for free treatment and right for living- IT is not I am- The code of Laws states- The criminal major acts /codes of India and there must be more than near 600 such acts with its many of their clauses and subclauses ammendments/ insertion/ state ammendentments as individual state wise. There are also many Indian Penal codes ( major about 1900], Indian evidences acts and codes (almost about major codes 2000]. Under different sections subsections, illustrations. They are kept always secreat within the boundary of lower courts to supreme court and wihin small groups of people we call them magistrate,muncef, judges,-all are government servants appointed by the governor or presidential system many advocates and some noble persons I should say who rules us. And we the common people are scrpulously administred as codes of laws or as Indian penal codes and We say IPC says so without knowing any things of it What is IPC or whhat IPC says. It is neverthee less is an extremly painfull thing to be ruled by laws that no common one in the contry knows what it tells What the constitution says. and laws are written in suuch a copmlex manner in Inglish language(does laws has separate English language and composition beyond one’s understanding?} in language that one law has means (interpritation) in many a way. This are no doubt for a sustain level of corruption in the country who are intellegent, educated, working in offices companies ,has money to give bribe. The educated middle fedual class. So there must arise a lot of discrepences during the interpritations of thos laws and the most shocking thing is that disadvatages do arise when only few[ and not the whole people are allowed to have their say in their interpritation] as they are lawear or judges of categories, in what ever adaptive means they once became graduate in law from an university. Even by allowing mass copying from the books and it was the usal manner of passing graduation degrees of law in country at least during 1970-1980s. The interpritation of a law must had ben to work for centuries together and has itself doubtless acquired the satus of law then and though there remains still a possible freedom of interpritation left, it has become very restricted. More over the noble lawears or judges of diffeent level of court, which are also nothing but a salaried servant to a government,and their whole family fed by governmental system, must not be above the government and its officers rules, who make the rules for the governance. They must have obviously no cause also to be inflenced in their interpritqation of a law by their own personal interests innical before us for the laws as if were made to the advatages of the nobels in the system of demoracy. As if they themselves are above the laws and that seems to me be why the laws were entrusted exclusively into their hands.

 The barrel of gun is the final source of all political power”- why the very slogan of Mao- je- Dang till day so important and turned an effective and essential Slogan through out world? It was becasuse of confinement of Laws in favours of some Elite some Nobel, some upper class. It was because for economic independence. because of torture of upper middle class, middle class and rich class people towards the poor, porest of poor, unequal division of resources and unequal wages of labour, stealing the skill for developing of a product without proper royalty and wages { the educated class people of India in industries or in productive sector are still sily perfect copier of others { and laws never gave them that right] of any thing like a thesesis, book, journals, knowladge, system, design,product, a style and everything what not we see arround us as techology and knowladge without any peermision from originator and Royalty or Copy Right clearence] and they have no skill and all bitter experiences and the government or sate or country who ever ,when it came as rulers even the our beloved communist government took a detrimental role towards those disadvantageous people. What ever laws today had been done in perliament or assembly each law has been acquired in every country against and after a blood shed revolution and shedding blood or death of sahids. Till 1980s and middle of 1995 the government of state of west Bengal took also that role. They did not learn the lesson from “Bolshevik Revolution or Marx idealism- they used to tell in street corners gathers. If you readers are enough intelligent, you can devide distinctly the periods of first eighty years of the past 20th century in Carl Marx’s idealism, then that converted in Marx’s imagology. The first 60-65 years, the world divided into two distinct parts and there were enough cold wars between the capitalism, capitalists feudalism & feudal families and Marxissm and Socialism. Them a middle possition was taken Democracy and what is tha I don’t understand ? What to do with that To eat or to keep in my head” Does it provide a man Roti Kapra or a Mokan? America is then largest Democracy country. This was the period of fight and fight and counter fight and couterism. The communist world later say socialist world and capitalist and feudalist world but when finally communists came in ruling power of some of countries though out for for few years they in fact for some time wanted to do good for proletariats-at least in West Bengal through Barga System, vangurding iequqality in social castism and Right to information act , But problem appeared when they became centralized detector and gradually kept themselves aloof from development of proletariat . Power became centralized to party office instead of decentralization and the state government became pupetary instruments of those few ministerial peoples, Big traders, commercial system and privatization of Education{all private bellow standard level for education] and Health and great and big berlin wall ( this very term was used by BholaBabu to Satya- I rember” grew up between those proletariats people labour class dream (60%Population now in India) and government and when revolution started in West Bengal it played a torturers role towards revolutionary people. Democracy can never solved the problem of Proleteriates.It is fit for the Ellite class, educated class who are all aware of all laws of the country and their rights as per country laws. Democracy can not survive if laws are kept always secreat. So Professor Bhattacharya nominated in 2011 february the activist group of “Arab Spring” for The Peace Nobel Prize - 2011, who stood against such orthodox democracy system which was controlled rather by money dollar, muscle power,Town and city based all facilities and prosperity and in fact ARAB SPRING took gun out of such a frastrated law of the country. 

 I understand why the proletariat people who though knows how to take a severe revenge by themselves against those 10-% upper middle class population and 1-2% very rich class people of this country who actually enjoys all earthen country’s property ,all economics facilities leads a very comfortable life style, those who favors market economy, capitalism, feudalism in a family, village, suburb, urban town or cities of the states of the country, and who actually governs the living’s economics, [ Rich, middle and upper middle class people are mostly corrupted people] offers minimum chances to survive in the world for the others rest weak class members and their up gradation and rest 60% proletariat people- actually on whose labor, intellects and daily works the Gross domestic product(GDP) of a family, of a country or states net domestic products depends[NSDP), and this is not only in this country, India, but probably through out the worlds , and I must refer to my worlds to look that only 1-2% population of the world { today world population reached 7 billions i.e. 70-140 cores people in the planet owns the 97% populations property, labor ,economics through the open market, Privatization systems, Industries, Banking system, private Insurances system ,through acquiring, protecting property [–our democratic constitution says so, but it remains silent how much property a man/woman can acquire & maximum limit of it] in the system of democracy and in our country, India, those 30% people do survive, leads the fabulous life, and the rest like a mouse’s or dog’s life? ], and these 70% though knows how to stand up for themselves in general as community and how that has to be done –requires and want revolution and how that revolution has to be successfully done. It is a very simple that just consultation, discussion [Ruling Party vs. Opposition party], middle class people can not bring any revolution. It never happened in world history!. Revolution also requires arms. Destruction of class enemies. But problem of proletariat class is that their time is spent on to earn their own foods, to full fill their stomach hunger. Empty stomach can not bring any revolution. So long live the feudal system!, capital system! Those style in feudal or capital system, they lives better than others. They follow the rules “First divide and then Rules the week” .They favor markets, privatization, Flat, Car, AC, Malls, Plaza,. They are against socialism, community. Why the have not class stands against it? Why, when they are posed, but they are not in fact organized nether in a state nor in any country , nor globally ,- but it can never be told unjustified , if they want the revenge to be taken { I am sure enough now that they will never take such revenge as proletariats are real gentle people, have humanity – not social intellect dacoits! And corrupt ] and let me suppose by the felling of their taking revenges, then for the time there will be nothing else but the feeling left in their whole being to seize by arms. And I consider that Bolshevik revolution movement in France was the correct way. Identify individuals and put those 1-2% population in the guillotine and that can be the best means that capitalism, Feudalism to be vanished from this planet and the world in socialism. So an armed revolution is needed. But I said the poor people, the salvaged people, the struggling people, the slum people, the beggar people, the vagabonds, the labor class are real gentleman than we the educated middle class people with our nepotism, our greed ,our modern education, our selfishness, our inhumanity in the society. Such gentlemen, simply will never dash straight for the objects, he/she require , for his or her demands , for his/her human rights to live in better way , like an infuriated bull with its two horns down and in fact I am sure if they would demand those nothing but a strong stone built wall [ the state police force, the state army] can stop him immediately . For them, such a wall must not be an evasion, as for us middle class rich classes, so called educated people who think only, plans only and consequently do nothing, but our demands are so very high and enjoys every thing must not be an excuse for turning our self aside- an excuse for which we are always very glad though we believe it in ourselves as a rule that we do not do any thing productive for human betterment. We common people, are non pulsed in all kinds of sincerity but want our security by the state people by the government by Nagarik Samaj and by other people .The stone built wall has for us something of course traquilising, morally soothing – we are safe, may be something mysterious, well, such a person I might regard him/her as a normal man/women in a family, as his tender mother wished to see him when she brought him on the earth. I envy such a man, and then I was green in face. But now to me he or she is a simple stupid personality for this planet and I’m not actually disputing that at all but perhaps because that a normal man must be a stupid man. And I’m more persuaded of that suspicion, if one can call it so, by the fact that if you take for instance the antithesis of the normal man in a family, the man that is the man of acute consciousness, who has come of course ,not out of the lap of nature but out of a retort of vast knowledge (this is simply a kind of mysticism to most others common man) this retort-made man is also may some times bound to act as non pulsed even in the presence of his antithesis in his consciousness that with all his exaggerated consciousness, he genuinely and then must thinks of himself as a mouse and not actually a man. He may be rather called an acutely conscious mouse, yet a mouse and when he meets another so called normal family man, and while the other is a man and the worst of it, it is he himself, his very own self looks on himself as a mouse; no one of course asks him to do it so. Now let me look at this conscious mouse in action in the normal society, in the family. A mouse does not of course feel insult usually. Let me assume for an instance that the mouse can feels insulted too and wants to take revenge itself too towards a torture to it. For through others innate stupidity, the mouse should looks upon his revenge as a justice and right pure and simple; while in consequence of its acute consciousness IQ, the mouse also does not believe in the social justice of it that the stupid normal man will offer him as a judge. To come at last, to the deed itself, to the act of revenge-it should desire and it knows well that it is alone in the hole of a family and very week animal and no one in the stupid family or society would like do justice for its peaceful living and breeding . So out of its vagness, annoyances, apart from the nastiness the luckless fate the mouse knows it very well , will succeed in creating around it so many other nastiness in the form of doubts and various questions, adds to one questions so many un settled questions, that there will be inevitability works up around it a sort of fatal brew, a stinking mess, made out of its own dounnoyance, ragged emotions and of the contempt spat upon it by the direct men of action, who stand solemnly about its judges to kill it. Of course the only thing left for it is to dismiss all that with a wave of its paw and with a smile of assumed contempt, in which the mouse itself does not believe, creep ignominiously into its mouse hole. There it will stay in its nasty, .staking underground home our insulted crushed and ridiculed mouse promptly becomes absorbed in cold, malignant. For the last 37 years together it will rember its injury down to the smallest most ignominious details and every time it will add of itself details of still more ignominious spitefully teasing and tormenting itself with its own imagination. It will be ashmed of its imagination,but yet it will recall it,it will go over every detail anditwill invent unheared of things against itself,pretending those thing might happen and will forgive nothing to the man. It will try to begin to revenge itself itself but that will be in peace meal,in trival ways from behind the stove without beliving either in its own right to vengeance or in success of its revenge towards the man knowing that from all its efforts at revenge ,it will suffer a hundread times more than on he on whom it takes its rvanges. 

 Sp 

Chapter-8

  My Visit to a sea beach 

   I’m Satya. I, long after thirty five (35) years came to one of the coastal areas of the state of Odisha, India “Puri ''. I first came puri, when I was a child of twelve years old, was in my sixth standard class room, with my parents, my granny and my other three young junior brothers, Tito, Pinto and Kaushik in the year 1968 or so. We were then four brothers in this planet. My mom, was expecting another child birth our sister .This time, I came here with my own unit family, my pro feudal minded spouse Sorojini, my only daughter Upasana who is now just past her10 years birthday , my widowed mother in laws, a, chaotic, feudal character married lady who happened to be sister in law and her thirteen years old boy. My name is Satyabrata-by this time you all readers knew- The silent observer in this novel. I’m a doctor [MD with post doc fellowships] in my own profession, a honorable Professor and head in Pathology discipline, for any final diagnosis of disease and a geneticist, at a state of art Postgraduate Medical college and Hospital & Tropical diseases a very high standard recognized Research Institute by Medical Council of India and central Government, in the “city of joy ‘of Damanik- Kolkata and city of the Nobel laureates in country, India . I have another academic faces too before the world’s scientific community. I’m however an internationally recognized face as theoretical physicist and an astronomist too. I’m a member of The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences ,Stalkhome, Member of Nobel Peace Prize forum and Institute Oslo, Steering committee member of International Peace Bureau, Indian branches in West Bengal, and a member of The Royal Society Proceedings in one sense- a finest recognized scientist in world, London. As a human pathology teacher in kolkata city and as a histopathologists, Immuno pathologists, Geneticist, I accrued both National and International fame and popularity and recognition even by the highest council body in India “ The Medical council of India” only with my self effort. Throughout my jealous academic career & a often silent masked face ( People say me so] and as a researcher, I always attempted to place myself and remained as topper, wherever and whenever I competed and I do possess many patents in the Indian patents office too. I have plenty and innumerable publications ( more then 330) in PubMed Indexed journals of Bio Medical sciences of very high & tpo impact factors and or in astronomical Sciences or in Theoretical physics in world’s top most journals like in Nature, Nature news, The Great beyond, Nature Network, Nature Proceedings, Boston Blogs, Nature blogs, The Science insider, Science News, Science Now, Science ray , Physics Org, Physics World, NASA Govt, British Medical journals, The Lancet, Proceedings National Academy Sciences USA, The Cell, Physics Review letter, Cosmos journal, The Royal Society London publishing journals, Polos journals, JAMA , Trends in cognitive sciences of cell ; Archives of Internal Medicine, Annals of Internal Medicine, JCI, JCP , JCT ,Blood, British Journal Hematology, Cosmology, IRCUS, Times UK, HuffPost Science , Wall Street Journals and in where not to be boast off pride! But I always remain silent, masked as an insult mouse. My heavenly father once told me “remember we are mousee in this planet !” Even though I never reacted or express myself or still do not react in any way, when I see my sent articles published in the world's top most journal’s online issues neither I react if I am rejected. [I never share all these information with my pro-feudal spouse too]. I’m peerrefree board member of some of them also. I owned plenty nos of awards, medals, distinguished certificates of excellences of my researches, nominations for various awards and I’m official member or fellows of many international and Indian National academic bodies of worlds very high repute. But I do usually avoid joining with them & having any portfolios or executive rank meetings and general body meetings. I usually avoid presenting my research or sharing my experiences, my knowledge in Indian/state level National Academy body annual or bi annual conferences or to give any guest lectures, unless the same invitation is from highest & finest level world based scientists gatherings there . I remain often silent when their invitations offer letters as even guest speakers in my E mail address box and I simply delete them and they send me reminder after reminder. You rather can call my character as an innovert one, not exactly manly . But I do all these as my strange wishes. I was for several occasions selected as nominators for the “Nobel Prizes” , best awards of the Science magazine of AAA&S USA, BMJ, Crawford Award of Royal Swedish academy of sciences, Kavali Award of the Royal Society London - In short, you may say I’m yet a very well known scientific personale of very high repute among the world’s finest scientific community .My heavenly poor parents and my extremely poverty laden paternal family members (they are also still mousse- so often, they are co -authors to most my published articles in those journals & books authored by me, I do not like any criticism by editorial board about authorship and I had withdrawn many important articles even it passed blinded peer review just the editorial board asked me about contribution of others co-authors and I’m high conscious and well versed about my Intellectual property Right ), my late maternal uncles, aunts had done too much favour and contributions for myself to bring me out first very successful as a MBBS doctor from”The Medical college Bengal, kolkata” in 1981 january as an alumni and then also for my MD (Prestigious ChMB] degree in “Pathology” in 1990, from University of Kolkata. It was in fact my granny who suggested my name.- My name in bengali suggest- a quest for the truth- and persons who speak only the truth and there is also another meaning “ a newly rising sun which symbolizes the truth also”. The name was taken from greatest hindu mythological epic book “ Mahabharata” during my Annaprashan. So my story must be also a story for a journey towards the quest for “the truth”. The truth of human life, truth of a country’s economics, politics, truth of a state politics, of a village development, of refugees, of a family, of the universe- where I took my human configuration, human consciousness, human cognition of birth—this life. I don’t know actually how many times I had to take my birth in this planet the earth, in different shape, anatomy or human identity form, and how many thousands times I myself died here in this planet , leaving behind my mortal body as torned coat , keeping my clones here- through process of reincarnation, hindus do believe? May it be so, several hundred thousands times? You can of course understand by this time, as a storyteller- I know that human life on this planet is simply purposeless, for myself, for any person on this planet ,whatever he or she is how much he/she is famous for a fraction of time. _ I think that all schizophrenic persons are correct. I am fond of the life of Dr. Jhon Nash N.L in economics for his Nash Equilibrium theory in game theory of economics. I went several times to the book “ The Beautifull Mind” They feel the real truth of the universe and purpose of human life on the planet of this solar system.

 I do strongly belief that human life is too much short in the context of this planet, in the context of this solar system, in the context of our galaxy- The Milky Way ,in the context of this cosmos- we observe in the sky. At best I can accept the purpose of life to flow one’s self gene, to be propagated or his or her own clone. Science in laboratory today is solving the problem. In my highly sophisticated DNA Translational Medicine laboratory, whose in-charge I’m still now, I myself created clone of myself and of my brother Rupak. It is freezed now in a petri dish in liquid nitrogen in E.Coli Vector. I’ m aware and had acquired a minimum scientific and philosophical knowledge about this very universe- it’s beginning as a “Big Bang-theory”, it’s probable end as “Big crunch” or real laws of this Universe. In fact I along with my youngest two brothers Rupak, Ritwik, my daughter Upasana, had really too many published journal articles what happened during the zero moment (Planck’s time] of the “Big Bang”, or where from mass actually came to matter at Gev temperature or about antimatter disappearance and another anti universe or in panspermia or about exoplanets or gravity is due to a particle we called “Graviton” which were cited later by many scientists throughout the world and we have established our own model of Universe- -a real pride and prestige. But I don’t care.- I will not be immortal like my father Bhola Babu in the history of Sodepur. I have no contribution for Sodepur- my village. Not for any place. But for the Science and scientific discoveries in my laboratory. What do you readers think? But remember, I’m always a mouse- not a man. I don’t like to be man also. Most of them are probably worst, wothyless and stupid creatures of the universe. I know that space time is endless, four dimensional at least ,curved, pitch dark with trillions of bright galaxies, solar system, newly born various kinds of stars, old stars of billions years, dying stars ,red giants, dwarf stars , neutron stars , various types of nebulas, millions of Quasars, Pulsers, blackholes, whiteholes, novas, supernova’s remnant dark matter, dark energy, dark matter, cosmic hiss & songs and every things follows a special law- the laws of universe & we the every human being is lost in the vastness of this eternity. I realized that if only one truth exist in this planet, The Earth about any life that is the “death or simply entropy”, if and when birth is taken as a chance factor and the death as entropy of a chaos through the electrical system, ion channels system in our body. 

I do today believe in soul even as a finest scientific personality accepted by the world !. You can not belief in that as a scientist why do I believe in soul in my age 57 years. The communism, the dialectics and materialism could not give me anything ! Nay! Any thing I must say it thousands time. I ,as a growing boy was so slender, slim, somewhat black coloured, tall, but muscular, Hindu, Brahmin cast , Descendent of Kashyap Saint – a typical good boy like with somewhat burnished skin, large two brightfull, intelligent, but diligent eyes ,now always covered under thick glass and thick yet black eye brow lashes, a tipped & bent nose like a parrot, five feet six inches in hight, with now protuberant belly simply due to lack of any body exercise, brisk walking, and burning off my intake calorie as petrol and when I stand before any mirror that I often do almost daily, whenever I get such a minor chances even in a shopping mall or in a restaurant, to see my physical metamorphosis ( however I did not metamorphosed in my philanthropy & in my mind, philosophy ) and my opposite mirror image[ it is not of course my anti matter I] reminds me that I am looking almost like my heavenly father “Bholababu” and at my age 57- I’m stepping years by years towards my entpoy- towards my chaos- my death each and every moment without realizing the real truth, purpose of my this time life in the globe. I dream often my corpse entering in the electric furnace of smasan & iam shivering from imagining the furnace room with 1800 degree centigrade temperature. What I can not see is my future time- my fate, my spouse & daughter’s fate. Exact my death time, date, manner of my death and where I will be after my death or my next incarnation. I just guess may be in Turkey- Istambul- the muslim country. I like? As further with a human body. Normal or with any congenital defect? I have not probably met yet with my soul mate with so many births & death. No persons probably can see “future arrows of time”, as arrows of time scientifically are exactly three and there is no faculty of human brain to go beyond these three arrows of time. Fortunately nobody call me now as Satya or Satu-re. I have another my common pet name “ Bapi”. I’m for some people as Dr. Pranab, for some Professor Bhattacharya, for some people “Pranab Da” For Some people”Sir” For the world “Professor Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya ’ ,when I chair an important session in a national or international conferences, if I at all I attain that or as an adjudicator of MD or Post Doc PhD or as an examiner ,they announce me as “Professor Pranab kumar”, need no introduction at all” and I become so often morrosed instead of being . My mother passed in heaven in 2006 and my father Bholababu then was almost condemned to death, blind in his both eyes from long standing Glaucoma,optic nerve atrophy and bilateral cataract and continued to a living death in a single bed, looked after by Rupak, Ritwik and Ritwiks wife Sapna and our long maid Depudee. No CPM party man, except his very one or two close friends used to come to him. And he eagerly awaited to listen to voices. Though he attained “immortality” in respect to village “Sodepur” as a part of it’s history. Once I can not remember now the time, I was asked by a so called Medical scientist “whether I do believe in GOD and that was because he believed then no man becomes so much guilty that would not be pardoned by God him but he must first repent for his sin and so become like child whose soul is empty and ready to embrace every things''. He was a Professor in Surgery and regular member of our canteen table gossip. He was leaning right across our table, waving his crucifix directly at me. In Fact I was about to tell him that he was wrong to choose me for his such difficult questions, at this point. It did not really matter me much whether I do believe or do not believe! But he went on me interrupted other discussions for his answer and pleaded with me one last time drawing himself very close to my chair and asking me in front of my other strong hindu Brahmin friends, whether I had ever upanyan (second birth to be as Brahmin), whether I know and can recite “Gayatri mantra” as a proof of chastity of my Brahminism as my cast and whether I bear the sacred threads in my chest wall and I believe in GOD. In fact it really mttered me a very little, whether people thaught me as a Hindu or as Brahmin or a Muslim or a Christian or even an ape. I never believed in any religion, cast, but in class division on economics- I probably inherited in my gene from my father and through my long exposure in the society- I saw & I told him. I often ate beef, kabab on several occasions- I confess it today. I don’t consider that for these reasons I lost my Brahminism. He told me that it was impossible that all men believe in God, even those who would not face him and who will not face him. He told me people all over the world will believe in GOD even in the next 600 years of progress of science. People do believe either in GOD Narayana Avatar or in Mahammad Avatar or in Christ- or in something energy that is the belief, and if he would to believe my notion and philosophy about human life, his life would become totally meaningless. His wife, his children, his earnings so much money, and his property he personally did or inherited–all are then meaningless! “Do you want to mean my life and what so far I did and now doing or will do tomorrow are all meaningless?” He almost cried in anger and annoyance. As far as 

I was concerned I really believed in that, I had nothing to do with me and I told him so. I believe the only truth in human life is death!- entropy! I believe rather in shaitan in human being really exist. The discussion was then getting hotter across the table. Most of my friends and colleagues exclaimed quite unreasonably and said “ you did not even follow the Hindu ritual rules for your parent's death. Don’t you love your parents then? Your mother? Your father? and I felt rather embarrassed often in such type questions and it hits whenever thrown to me. I often do tell “ I loved my parents, my mother quite a lot like all common, sensible people do love. The thing was fact, I did not have enough money to have look after my parents and had faced trouble from my spouse & her family{ They had notion for last 25 years,I was a purchasable commodity and my salaried earnings is for my unit family ie only myself, my spouse herself, my daughter’s high level comfort ,maintenance lifestyle leading in a flat, and they would be pleased if it was also spent for her parents treatment, gifts, etc and never for my parents or any one else brothers, sister, nephew, nice- who are in disadvantageous economics that led these people to tuberculosis- If I would try to donate them they announced some illicit relation there with me} very well like many of you and make their old life comfortable! There went high finest level dirty politics played by some female characters who came from marriages, in my parents house. But that did never mean anything to others I knew. I just would control my natural feeling those very days? That was also not true for me! I joined my lecture class and delivered my scheduled lecture after the very next morning of my mother’s official funeral, at 9AM next morning in May 2006. How was it possible ? I remained so quiet, so indifferent and behalved throughout so very usal in the flat, we lived, in front of my spouse, in laws, played with my then six years old daughter-as if nothing happened in my life. No one in the house paid me any condolences. I faced the other truth of life. I accepted the pseudo -truth so easily. I realized that my mother’s corpus turned into carbon ashes, bone pieces now- I saw it myself in my own eyes and a permanent print created in my pre- frontal lobe, and I was to go back to my work and that nothing had changed to my surroundings, I lived in a flat. They were not at all sorry for her departure. And here was the end of my materialism.

 From one costly hotel that my spouse and younger sister in laws booked directly from kolkata metro [these two women are always habituated to lead a very high standard and costly life with always a pseudo -capitalistic and feudal attitude they often over shadows or announce before others in their sweet sophistication & that in their behaviour (mostly my sister in laws and my spouse is just her blind followers, without her any self respect, judgement ,I saw her from next of our marriageA like “Mrs. Marry Turner with Dr. Dick” the characters of Dorris Lessing’s Nobel Prize winning Book “ The Grass is singing”) and when ever they do a tour[ they go outside tour at least every two or three months intervals] they booked always very costly hotel with AC room unnecessary ), I awaited for the waves of the Bay of Bengal sea to become more visible through the windows of a sea facing 2nd floor room of “Hotel International”. We reached “Puri” at Orissa State, the land of Lord Jagatnath( Suprimo God Narayan himself] at around 3PM by train from Howrha. But our hotel booking was probably from 4PM but as there were still no vacant room in that hotel, we had to spend from 4Pm-9Pm night at Puri sand beach & we got our room around 10 PM in the hotel . We had booked two rooms .One for my unit family which was a non AC and another was AC for my sister in laws and her12 years old son and my mother in laws. It was night 10 Pm or so, when we came down from the swargadwar sand beach to our hotel room. The moon then shone on the white surf of dark sea of Bay of Bengal. Our hotel was a three star hotel “International hotel”- a long walking distance of 15-20 minutes from Sarga Dwar main beach-needed autoRickshaw. The hotel though in the night dress, appeared somewhat gorgeous and big one, but in fact was not at all royal one- in an isolated place, a little far away from the lighthouse for the cargo ships at sea horizon. My sister in law and my spouse had a little chaos with night on duty hotel manager & his staffs for the rooms they allotted for us, as it was not at per them. After it was however settled at about 11PM, we finally had our fixed rooms and settled ourselves to sleep. Men and women were still coming back from the beach by auto Rickshaw. { when in 1967-68, I came first at puri, there were only few hotels and resorts in puri and beach was not extended beyond the SargaDwar smashan and now I find Puri changed like every metropolitan city and tourist place congested and the beach is extended much further even after the lighthouse in west side and the place of this International three star hotel was then a technical training college-what I remember now ] and at last I saw it. The air of Puri at night is today even no doubt devine to me, no less. I lay with my 09 years old daughter and my spouse in the non AC room’s comfortable bed ( all kinds of bed are comfortable for myself) and slept as I took also sleeping pills . I woke up at 4 oclock morning to breath in soft Puri’s atmosphere blown in the gentel wind from the sea through windows. The darkness of night started now fading away, few minutes past and brilliant blue of horizon quickly becoming intensified, beginning the spectacle, I had been accepting, since I woke up at five oclock, in spite I took the pill, breaking my rule against sedatives. I am not habituated with sedatives till now. The pills I daily take are antihypertensive, beta blockers, aspirin, statin and anti oxidants and often laxatives. The air of Puri is no doubt devine. I again slept until the sun was flaming into my room. My wife and my daughter woke probably much earlier and went to other room where my in laws slept. They already probably had their bath. I next took my bath and stood at the terrace outside my room the outside air was exactly that of my own body. I felt no break into hot or cold then. So an unborn child must feel the sheltering waters of its first home in mothers womb. It is indescribably smooth,fluidity and the result is well being, a total absence of conflict with the outer world’s environment. I saw men and women still coming and going and people of various races, castes and customs- though mostly bengalees there. Already there were surf rides enjoying the morning swells of sea waves and men and women in all but nothing were sautering on the beach. I was quite right about my spiritual changes, whenever I came to puri –the land of Lord Jagannatha. I came back to my room. My wife ordered for a cup of tea and some toasted eggs and loafs for me. The caretaker served in my room. I sipped into hot tea and lit a cigarette. It was a bad habit of mine but I am fond of tea and cigarettes. In Spite of my cardiac problems and hypertension I can not yet quit tobacco. It was probably genetic. No less the dark blue surface of the ocean marked by the streaks of white foam extending to a leaden sky a remote line of horizon, while at the shore it breaks up in re-sounding,white capped waves against the sea. My memory suddenly slipped back and braught photographic images- of those days- of a little boy of then 12 years wearing half pant and T shirt walking on the sandy beach of this sea ,holding hands of his tall father, walking very slowly and the tall man explaining him why the earth is round like orange, what is called horizon of earth, universe, why the space time appears curved at the horizon of the sea. I saw holding hands of my father and along with other three junior brothers with our mother entered a cheap restaurant at Swargadwar Mahapravu crossing on the road of beach,so that we could have our lunch. It was lunch time. Our mother was then pregnant of 5-6 months or so. I remembers till this dawn the restaurant was very close to chowmatha more of Swargadwar  where Mahapravu chaityana’s bronze idol still at center even now placed. I throughout our days and evenings searched for the traces alone of those faint images of 35 years back in my brain flashes. I found the very lane, The very house where we lived for next three months ,but could not trace the very one storied house ”Devi Nivas” with a terrace in its front, whose owner was Bhoababu’s friends and of same village at east Pakistan and whose wife recognized my granny as “ Mashima” . My father then came for an audit of the Governor house of Puri from AG office and stayed there for three months with his family and granny and maternal uncle “Manu”. They had two boys and a daughter .We took the rent of two rooms. The very house probably turned today into a hotel. I recognized it because just side of it there was a ashram “ Bholagiri” and the ashram still remains as a dormitory. I searched the ice cream factory- just before entering that lane but there was no trace of it. Instead it is now a four star hotel cum restaurant. I searched the shop of Mr. Nirmal Majumdar which was close to Sargadwar smasan from which we used our day to day shopping and surprisingly I found it exists but in larger form , though it is run by his descendants, who recognized Nirmal uncle . 

I found almost nothing of 1968, except Bharat Ashram with same red painting of outside and wall outside and Puri hotel but they are in most modernized form expanded form, In The restaurant we seven were offered table next to windows facing the blue sea with white foam shores and through the window. I could see specious garden and sea and the statue of a mermaid pouring water from her hand pot. It was named as then probably “Sagar kanya” restaurant where Bholababu ordered Kanchuri. And I often used to purchase kanchuri or hand made roti from this restaurant, I remembered. I wondered existence of that restaurant in AC form and turned in a big hotel, Pulin Puri Hotel till day amongst multiplex meshroom of costly star hotels on swargadwar road along lines of beach and I really felt my self as a most distant foreigner even in my own country where I spent long 90 days of my childhood. When I left Puri at my 12 years age, the city probably ended in or near Puri Hotel and it was then turning point of road of Swargadwar but not with high costly hotels , mansions, coloured street lights, Open bars many road sided restaurants ,asphalt country club houses, AC shops for marketing for the tourists.

I came out of the hotel with my families & in-laws & children. My wife, her sister and two children wanted to go for a swim in sea waves. But I & mother in law did not want to. Three of us walked over on the beach and I found my wife, her sister, two children plunged straight into the water. The sand was gradually beginning to get hot under our foot. My daughter insisted on me in the water but I denied myself the water,. We sat on the sand. On the beach I stretched out flat on my stomach beside my mother in laws and put my face on the sand. Soon after, my wife came up and sat with her mother. I turned round to watch her.she was glistening all over with salty water and holding her back off her face. Others were in the water till lunch time approached. I also got hungry. My daughter came up and told me to come in water and complained that I have not kissed her since morning as my routine job and it was true. “Come into water” She proclaimed. I had no other option in hand. We ran and sprawled in little waves at the edge. We swam a few strokes and she clung on to me.

 The women, I saw swimming with her both arms helped by kicking with her feet and little splashing sound followed in air, all on a sudden, might have been around her mid fifty or a little more aged, I don’t know and I was watching her stealthy sitting on plastic made chairs from the sandy hot beach. This time, in 2011, I came to Puri again with my unit family and my mother in laws on a call of a Professor of Sociology to deliver a Orissa Government sponsored speech at “Bhubaneswar city “on a topic Public health care system model- Satya long before had with his brothers worked on this very issue and published in first at “the Lancet” followed in BMJ journal QHSC. He accepted this guest lecture as Professor Mohanty was close, very Known, to him and he assured him to be honored by the state Government of Orissa with a Memento in the memory of a person who was in fact doin in the field of Pathology internationally once in past eras . He was honored then with L.N Mahapatra memorial medalation- a prestigious oration from Government of Orissa- Kalinga. Professor L.N Mahapatra was once a real doin in Indian field of Pathology, long back alma mater of King Gorge Medical college at Lucknow, UP, Teachers of Teachers and was marked for his work on protein calorie malnutrition disorder in India, particularly with marasmus and Kwashiorkor and Tuberculosis in childrens. He was famous also for the co authorship of V.S shawminathan to work at sub himalayan belt of Ganges River for the endemic goiter and their recommendation to prevent endemic goiter was to mix iodine with table salt and then Govt of India accepted their recommendation and then came iodized salt today in Bazaar by a private company. This lecture was based on quality health care system model in Public health care in west Bengal- for whom and for what purpose” the paper Satya published few years back in the famous journal “the Lancet” & in BMJ in 2006 with his brothers, sister and daughter as his co authors. After that satya joined with his family & in laws came Puri in 2011. This time we took the hotel in Swargadwar proper in a sea facing non AC room with a moderate acceptable charges. The hotel had a long history since early 1960s. Name of this hotel where in 2011 we had our lodging is old BNR hotel and near to old BNR came up new Chanakya BNR hotel. The old BNR and guest houses were property of Indian Rail staffs and for senior employees of Calcutta British firms and it then represented one type of culture of upper middle classes guests in Puri. The holiday homes and those of temple sided hotels now represent another types of culture of low middle socioeconomic classes. And around Swargadwar, occasionally two cultures had chances to met. At around 40 years ago, so far I now memorize, bright Railway locomotive memento was displayed out side the old BNR hotel and then it was as bright as a new pin.It is dusty junk now concealed by a hedge, ignored by hotel staffs clients and guests, the explanatory plaque,how the hotel grew up virtually today unreadable. Modern India and so called high class, educated class people from West Bengal province who come here as guests’ infact also shows little interest to its historical mementoes and old history. The Hotel BNR in 1968, when a little boy 12 years was the epitome of style and comforts. The sitting room had silken drapes. Carpets then covered the polished wooden stairs, the Bar offered several brands of scotch and choices liquors and the dining room served excellent bengali or other Indian dishes at subsidized prices to rail and other central or state government staffs. The Library room had abandon of fictions and hard books or paper back classics of Bengali writers, oddishi writers, and Hindi authors and in English classics. Today the sitting room gone. The management wants to make money and only money using it for various functions, seminars. So has the library. The present clients and guests do not use the library at all . They have no capacity or time to spend a moment here. I searched for any classic novel by author “ Kamal Majumdar , Indumati Roy or Jibananda Das and or Mahasewta Devi- and I did not find any! Strange! I was in fact frustrated. The manager today speaks in Odissi and some time bengalee. The Bar is off. The staffs did not hear the name of Raja of a small village Chilka”Rardakimidi” who first started the hotel in early1960s. Nither there is any portrait of a tubby little black odissi man in dhoti and Panjabi who in 1960s uninhibitedly gargling from his finger bowl through the enclosed verandah that served as BNR hotel dining spece. The Darwan wonders why a rusty old contraption had been dumped near her sentry booth? But the hotel to day sparkles with fresh paints and various coloured LED lights.  Road of Swargadwar changed further a lot with rows of plenty hotels and restaurants, L.E.D street lightings and population densities. I was sitting on a deck plastic chair and sand watching minutely my eleven years old only daughter who was then surfing in soap waves with my wife and mother in laws for some 30 minutes and so and some times I was calling her loudly “ back near to edge of beach”as she often attempted to go with waves along with her mother and playing with white sea surf at their waist deep water. The family of Professor of Pathology, Professor Mohanty is now also at Puri and they had lodge in a separate hotel and little distance from swargadwar. He ranged me one hour back to join a lunch with them and he will probably accompany him son with his family and grown up two boys and one young lady unmarried daughter. But Professor Mohanty was late always. Already swargadwar sandy beach was full of people. Mostly people come in this beach as tourist from various part of West Bengal provinces, kolkata, greater kolkata and orissa state. Some foreigners also are found here scattered. But they prefer isolation, lonely beach- chandipur. So here is no dearth of Bengalees. These people also enjoying the surf waves bathing with their spouses, families,children or college young boys, lovers or Extra maritals. Who knows how many of them come here just for enjoying their extra marital relationships. Trends of HIV & AIDS in community is increasing by leap in West Bengal and Orissa state too. Puri hotels and holiday homes are also heaven for establishing all kinds of extramarital relationships, while dancing with sores of sea waves. Women of all ages enjoys it. Who knows how many condoms, spermicidals, vaginal tablets or, vaginal creams, Viagra tablets or creams are sold each and every day from the medicine shops in swargadwar? How many vaginal pads! Medicine shops are there always full of tourists and sales men remain so busy. I myself saw asking for latex costly finer condoms by some married, apparently sophisticated, young & middle aged, middle class women,possibly tourists from suburban region of greater kolkata or may be from kolkata ,in medicine counter last evening,when I went there to purchase and asked for ciprofloxacin-D ear drop and ofloaxin tablet for my daughter’s sudden ear pain from CSOM after having sea bath in a medicine shop at swargadwar near mahapravu idol statue. I awaited till my medicines were served in desk and by this 5-6 minutes time , I counted at least 10-12 women and young boys and girls wanted over the counter.Could any pharmacy shop owner imagine that in Kolkata suburb? A couple wanted spermicidal jelly. They did not felt any shyness or shakiness to ask for all these things. Smartly women asked for condoms and purchased pacKets of it. It really surprised me “ India is shining” shining with HIV &TB and Poverty unemployment, beggars in the beach,on the street.

 Any how not let me to deviate from the story itself. Men and women in were enjoying the surf waves bathing, enjoying morning swell of sea waves and many men and women in all but nothing were sautering on the beach. My daughter waved me from her waist deep water to join with them in the sea waves. I nodded my head. I don’t like much sea waves bathing. She walked before me with her wet in swimming costume and caught my wrist drew me forcibly to join with them in the sea waves. She knew my nature. I first denied but my daughter insisted me naggingly to join with them in the sea waves. I finally agreed but up to waist level depth- no more. Professor Mohanty was much late and I had no other option behind left but to join with then in sea waves to take family photographs. I first took off my shoe and stalking and curled up my full length cotton pant above my mid thigh unnecessarily and my daughter also helped me to do it. My daughter caught me tightly to drag me forcibly to join with them in water. The sun was shining almost vertically onto the sand and the glare from the sea was really bearable to me. The beah was full of people yet. I with my daughter walked a little along the edge of the sea to join with my daughter and mother in laws. Now and then a little waves would come up higher than no others and wet my pant. I was not thinking anything because the sun beating down on my head and making me sleppy hot & tired. There was dazzling red glare at beach. The little waves were lapping restlessly at the sand as stiled sea gasped for breath. The waves sounded even longer and lazier than they had been at mid way. It was still the same sun, the same light and same sound as before. I saw out on horizon a tiny steamer went by and I could see it as a black speck. 

 I became very busy with my 10 years old daughter. She became so pleased that his father to join at last with them in sea waves surf playing. I t was a rare opportunity for her to play with her father. She had a colorful polo ball to threw it once towards myself, next to her mother and her mother next to her. My daughter wanted to go little deeper water. Sea is of course not enemy to me but they are. Let me to say,probably it is my wary friends.I, in my pre-frontal lobe zyrus bear a long past bitter memories with an angry sea, in my childhood, I first came with my father “Bholababu” and it was then a friendly sea,when my father took me in the sea waves to enjoy first experience of bathing in sea surf. I must say that it was a lion can be friendly feeling a man with a playful pat.

 Satya’s mind often flashed back to that very memory, whenever he comes before any sea and prevent him of bathing in morning swells of sea waves. It was when, he first came in Puri with his parents and other three brothers. His mother was pregnant then for his sister. His father was a good swimmer. He and his father stepped in water and swimmed in the sea in a peculiar jumping movement to encounter the coming waves. You can tell rather Bholababu was leaching and surf riding. There was a storm in Puri, last evening and though the sky was then quite, blue, and shining sun, in that morning. After some time when Satya became tired and salty sea water mixed with sands entered through his throat and stomach, his father threw him on the edge of the beach and Satya came back to his mom and brothers, but Bholababu was rolling back at the magnificent waves of Bay of Bengal. He was however a good swimmer in ponds but he was not a strong man, had his COPD. He was a lean man , tall man , he went a little further away through those magnificent waves in the sea and the sea was probably awaiting for him like a lion with playful pat. The sea caught him in huge paws. He swept out of his feet and swept out and out until he was choking, blinded and almost half drowned. Very little people were near him. A young “Nulia boy” ran close to him with life belt. He first saw him drowning. He quickly seemed to him and shouted” Take my hand”. He shouted “ We will be strong enough together to save you” hand in hand, they were then thrown down, at last upon sand ,far away from the place where Satya,his brothers, mom were seated. However Satya could remember now, he, his mother and his child brothers were helpless in those moments, in the waves and in the mercy disposal of God of the ocean's intense power of under current. Bholababu lay motionless almost 20 minutes on hot sand and nulia and few local people pressing on his abdomen to vomit out salty sea water what he drank while drowning. Thanks to God and that unknown Nulia boy for saving his life.

I often enjoy myself though I am in a crowd and best for myself to be solitary and so I enjoy my terrace in the hotel to view the sea or to view a mountain. I usually read the local newspaper and try to understand or let the day sleeping post me or watching local TV channels pictures until my spouse or my daughter call me for lunch or dinner. Usually I try to avoid talking my fascist, feudal natured sister- in- law, whenever & however possible it is. I try to gather the local history or to talk with a abordized people, beggars begging on sea beach, pavement dwellers or families living there to gather the local history of development in their own eyes. These poor economic people have their own type of economics and understanding philosophy of life and I knew to eradicate poverty is simply to know them, to talk with them about their problem, not the statistics which are far away from the reality. And at puri I revealed why never revolution and improvement of low socioeconomic class people never happened though marxcist left minded government ruled both provinces 

Puri Illustrates to me one of the most pertinent reasons why there could not be or can not be ever a successful revolution by the left party or by God’s Party or by people party in West Bengal too and I know well that no successful revolution ever happened in India also. It has nothing to do with sancity of Lord The Jagannath and or his famous temple where almost one lakhs people daily comes to see his daity, for worship and prey for their better life, prosperity and healing touch of Brahmin Purohits of Lord Narayan here the Lord Jagannath. or credibility of these people worshipness. It is that the first of Lenin’s three pre-requisits for a revolutionary situation to develop in an area - According to me these three are 1) widespread discontent amongst habitants in a province- just can not exist in this country. So huge is still the backlog depression and oppression to the poors and so much low are public expectations before the government that no matter how steeply standards of living, education, health falls of lower socioeconomic class-who are main forces (labour, peasents, unemployed, slumdwellers, child labourer, prostitutes etc); there will be a huge number of people for whom even the most degraded products foods and lodging represents tremendous improvements of any thin they have ever knew

Many of other causes of revolution that communist people likes are also patches of full employment ensue that joblessness is seen by Bengalee and Odishee people as a temporary phenomenon never a permanent evil. It is even more relevant that far from sustaining society’s division into the classes that I surprised even exist before lord Jagannath ( only Hindus are permitted to see and worship the lord inside the temple-and no one protest) ,so beloved of Marxist writers casts actually blurs the edges between capitalists, pro- fudalists, fudalists, burgeoise and the proleteriate and rather bringing any revolution castism favours formations of intercasts wars and movements.Westerners are often confused at encountering Brahmins(pandas of the lord) of every social and economic level not realizing that this fluidity means the proleteriate people does not have to wait for a revolutionary situation.

Chapter-- 9

 

A Question to his Papa – a notes from the party’s member BholaBabu’s secret diary 

“…….  I am now a sick mouse, an unattractive old mouse in my age (80) eighty and I do now believe that my both lungs are diseased from long continued smoking of local made bidi and believe me that I know nothing about my diseases ,except that I had once developed tuberculosis in 1993. My eldest son, Satya-who is a pathologist told me[ he always considered me a giant figure in local politics and in Sodepur village] that and I had to take anti tuberculosis drugs for long one and half years not for myself but that I don’t become infectious to community, at least for other family persons- satya told me in that way. Since then, I often suffer some times from massive hemoptysis [Sometimes I cough liters of blood with my cough bouts], some times, I require urgent blood transfusions { at Ghola State general hospital] in Sodepur [there is no Blood Bank yet now ] when I could be admitted at State Govt. run Medical colleges by Satya. First of all I used to be admitted at Ghola state General hospital through emergency and the emergency on duty doctor prescribed me injections and Dextrose saline transfusion and satya was informed over his cell telephone by either Sapna or my youngest twin sons Rupak and Ritwik and Satya used to arrange my admission at state Medical colleges in free bed, mostly at RG kar Medical colleges or at Medical colleges through emergency Dept.{ Gentle man I want to say that Panihati Ghola PHC hospital was updated to state General hospital in 1980s by our party’s decision where I myself played a major role and was stated as, it must be equipped with blood bank, Fare price medicine shops, Pathology,Radiology, Chest dept ENT , G&O Surgery Orthopedics ]. I was carried to State Medical colleges by Rupak, Ritwik, Sapna, sometimes her mother also, by hired ambulance with a referral letter from Ghola hospital. What a shame? Twice, I now remember, I went to severe hypovolemic shock while reaching on State Medical colleges within an ambulance on the way but somehow I revived back from my impending death with inotropic drugs at emergency till satya could admit me & arrange for my blood transfusion . Kausik(jhantu)- my 4th son donated his blood these times for exchange of one or two bottles unit emergency blood from blood Bank. Did I had no right to have blood, when I am was in hypovolemic shock due to severe blood loss when blood donation camps were voluntary and Blood had to be purchased from outside Blood bank with high cost? Gentle man! Business started with health in West Bengal reached in that place- even with donated blood by poor people of villages. Did I not demanded availability & supply of life saving and essential free medicines when I was admitted in free beds of a govt. Hospitals?. Gentleman! nothing is free here except doctors consultation, examination, round & prescriptions, bed charges { sharing two or three people in a single bed} ,nursing charges and few nominal investigations and two meals when you are admitted in a free bed in Govt state general hospitals for 72 hours only. All Medicines, even normal saline, Dextrose saline and all appliances,even injection syringes, transfusion sets , you have to purchase from outside medicine shops, even emergency life saving medicines too. Why there will be no fare price shops are run by those Medical colleges and in govt. hospitals, Why Doctors prescribe very costly medicines/medicines not in their generic names but in Brand names? Because they can earn commissions , incentives, free air travel to different areas of the globe and various costly gifts from the Medicine companies. Most time, blood is not available in Govt. blood banks of Blocks, Subdivision Districts . But you go to private blood banks or blood banks of private institutions and Nursing homes! You can easily purchase blood but with very high costs for one unit . But Blood is donated by voluntarily by poor common people of villages ,mostly collected in Donation camps with the ulterior aim of saving one life. Never for selling or purchasing commodity blood is like any other organ . It is illegal by laws of Drug and cosmetics acts of FDA . Blood is an organ . Like other organs it can not be allowed to sell or Purchase from the market private blood banks or shops of metropolis. Who cares with the health system of West Bengal for 12 core people with 48%people below poverty line( Govt tells them as BPL]? You will get blood when you pay a very high price in cash counters of any private blood banks of the metropolis, town or city. Gentlemen, I am really so sorry! We, at least I can say, I never wanted this kind of state Health care system, where health goes in hands of private healthcare providers and become a business; I could never imagine that Government health care will become soon also Health Industry in CPM ministry too, Health plazas, Health Fair without any kinds of humanity and human face and without government control over the private healthcare industries and Public government health care system goes rotten day after days in the state. Gentlemen! I swear that people of the state one day or other must pay for it at the cost of their high level of casualty. I never wanted a mixed type health system. I always believed in Che Guevera, I dreamt of Cuba, Bolivia , Russia, Venezuela, Guatemala Costarica through Socialism ,welfare state or communism at least for Right to food for poors , Right to be employed, Right in free quality and quantitative delivery of health care through three/four tire referral system- a classical model of Russian health care- to be controlled by the Health dept of state Government , Right for free education, free supply of books, Mid day meals in schools, Right to have a house those do not have and for street people government built housing all these, After VA Lenin ,Josef Stalin with his huge mustache(seen in Picture) was no doubt appears to me good now [though he killed many upper class, rich class people after bolshevik movement success in kremlin] , Crushev was probably good then our CPIM leaders ,I confess it today. Their Russian economics then was totally controlled by Russ communist Government- a single party ruling. There was no poverty in Russia. Everyone was equal . People in distant Siberia had free education, free treatment, free housing everything free and cared by Government vigilance (KGB) and vigilance level was very high and there was no oppression and corruption. Of course there was not democracy at all ! Right to speak, against party’s decision. The same was true in China! Gentlemen I am aware that in 1993, 14th February the new communist party started their journey with power of M Gorbachev as president of Russia and it was he The Gorbachev who took their Russian communist economics in open market economy through Pairastrika – Look Gentlemen in Mosco town only there are at least 50 rich people of World whose property is now few hundred cores Rubles, if I am not wrong!. But what happened to others for opening open market economy and allowing forgein investment in trades, small business and economy in Russia? You can not argue with me that poverty amongst people is increasing day by day in rapid succession. There appears dearth of food There are many beggars in the street , there appear slums, There is scarcity and downgrading of govt control hospitals and waiting lists increase day after day . Multiplex Pvt hospitals appeared in more numbers. I heard that in Mosco , a cup of coffee in any Restora costs more than a cup of coffee in Paris. Prostitute numbers beggar numbers increases in Russia- Social security scheme is in trouble. What a frightful turn over fate of famous Bolshevik movement to goodbye capitalism and feudalism ? Gentleman Just think once ! Today’s result is for Mr. Gorbachev and his followers Mr Bregnev, yelisin & Mr. v. Putin.- result of they wanted democracy like us? Open market capitalistic economy, like India! Are people in Russia now good? I don’t believe that . I so consider Josef Stalin or Vladimir Lenin or Crushev as Great man. How many people do remember now Mass killing organized by Stalin? People still put Rose flowers in the Graveyard of Stalin or VA Lenin in Kremlin- I believe that.

 Treatment of tuberculosis is costly then in West Bengal in 1993. Free Government DOT programme was not there. So it troubled me to adhere to ATD drugs .Since then, I do often suffer from hemoptysis, once or twice a month. Not very often it becomes severe and if not controlled by a week, I becomes admitted then at Sodepur Panihati State General Hospital [ I developed Bronchiectasis-a sequelae of Tuberculosis and who is responsible for that? Myself? As I was a rascal?] [We say it Ghola hospital] through emergency in free bed sharing often with another one or two persons in the same bed and that was instruction of Satya to his youngest brothers- my youngest twins sons Ritwik and Rupak. It was often Ritwik and his wife Sapna who stands beside my bed day and night ,till I am little better. They had not enough money to arrange paying bed and attendant and purchase costly medicine for me I knew that. I have difficulty also of breathing. I don’t have now and did not have ever enough money to consult a doctor on regular basis, maintaining my family members with my mere government pension. Medicine, Investigations, attendants are too much costly at Sodepur? I have enough respect over a doctor

(Please remember, my eldest son Satya is himself a doctor- a Professor in pathology, at Govt State Medical colleges] and I do respect modern medicine also. In Spite of, I often refuses to consult any allopathic doctor or alchemist in Private chamber or in mushrooming nursing homes or in private hospitals grew up in Sodepur, because I know very well that health care providers doctors there are mostly and highly corrupted fellows at cost of human Ailments, They are nothing but educated dacoits living in the society and roaming freely { Why they are not punished by the law and laws never fix their consultation fees or limit their income- A open market economy? ] and I can not pay the doctors charges fees there and many kinds of unnecessary investigations High costs Two or three antibiotics at a time, they prescribe every times, I myself understand that wrong, irrational Prescriptions. I know that if each time I would be admitted in private health care nursing homes or hospitals I would be put immediately into their either ITU or in ICU or in RCU which were not really needed to support my hemostasis and either I would die much earlier by septicemia after a un necessary ventilator use or my discharge bill would be each time more then Few lakhs in Indian rupees but to sell my house and others things and to live in high debt and I would had no way to question them but in court if there would be negligence ! These docoits are educated dacoits in the society. They understand who may go to court or who will not and what to write or not to write. Many of them do not write in Bed headed tickets and sign. What a nonsense health care delivery system grew up over 35 years in my state! In fact, I can not purchase medicine after maintaining my existing family structure. But I confess that yet I do respect doctors in state Government health services of West Bengal Whatever rudimentary form it exist and General family physicians(GPS) like my friend Dr Kartik Gupta or Dr.Amiya Sengupta in Purbapalli yet. I know better than any one, that I am injuring myself, infect myself and no one else. My lungs are now very bad. My Prostate is so bad- may be cancerous and I had difficulty in voiding micturition- let it go more bad and worse day after day. I had been going on like these for long twenty years or more. I am also almost blind today. My vision can not see a distant of few feet in bright sunlight and that is too tubular vision. I had long glaucoma, atrophy of my optic nerves, matured cataract of my both eyes. Who cared me besides my late wife, Ritwik ,Rupak and Sapna and old lady deepu? But they are so poor economically & financially for my proper treatment. I put daily eye drops thrice and four times a day- - the medicines which were prescribed last twenty years back- I remember from RG kar Medical college . They advised for my operation on glaucoma and cataract surgery . Sapna, my sons Ritwiik and Rupak even six years old chiki gives my eye drops. I had suffered of my hip and my long leg bones(femur] fracture from osteoporosis and osteopenia and was bed ridden. Now I move on a Wheelchair or two Cratch, just outside my room. I had suffered from tuberculosis and as a result of it Bronchiectasis and I often cough out blood- sometimes so massive. I don’t care to die- to good bye this planet. This rotten society & state.[ Literacy rate at Sodepur I heard exceeded80%]

 I used to be in the central government services in Accountant General of West Bengal( popularly called AG Bengal) first as a lower division clerk entered in 1966- then as auditor and through long 21 years of my services in A.G Bengal posted in Brabourne Road kolkata-1, I was promoted to be account officer- just two to three years before my retirement from the service in 1984 august. I crossed then 58 years. A.G West Bengal was then a most prestigious government office. I remember, once I audited as assistant Account officer the Chief Minister’s (C.M)of the state's office in Writers Building KOlkata. After the Audit was complete I sent my notes of some irregularities with public money to CM. He wanted to meet me in his office chamber over telephone. I sent him a slip through his CA and the chief minister told his CA “ tell Bholababu to wait for half an hour-outside my chamber- I shall call him- I am busy with an important issue” and when the CA repeated me that, I sent him another slip writing there back “Bholababu can wait for hours together for CM but an auditor of AG Bengal can not wait more than five minutes for a CM of the state” and I returned back with that file. I heard later that CM was so astonished and aggrieved with me and became ashamed when my note was put in question in the assembly and was discussed in State committee of party’s core body. It was I, I was in fact a respectful loyal central government servant then. I did never took a single coin bribe or favour of any kind [ so my family members was destined to suffer from such a high level poverty and you know India was one of top corrupted counties in postion 56 of world corruption ]. I was very conscious of my status as a refugees, as a mouse . I was a complete politicalized mouse, believing and practicing extremely in communist party, Russian communism Cuban, Bolivian communism, developing socioeconomic position of refugees(mousse colonization) those settled in village of Bankimpalli,Purbapalli, Natagarh ,Sulekha areas of Sodepur and those living in tents like street dogs. I used to grind my teeth towards the upper middle class, rich class people at Purbapalli, Amarabati or in H.B town. They were my class enemies I believed .I could not tolerate Mr. Chandrachur- local Jaminder Sammadar’s family persons, Mr.Dutta, Mr.Saha. Mr Aich, and many to be member of the communist party- We built up. But I could not be bold enough over our suprimo Gopal Da. So I could not also accept Debjani for Satya. Forgive me gentlemen ,I may be mistaken. Mr. Dutta was no doubt a humble person, soothing and polished personality. He was a timid personality also. He took shelter to our party for the sake of protection of his family members, for his property’s security. In that regard I must confess late Mr. Brazen Sammadar nor his family (except Binoy Babu]never approached before our party to be member. Mr Dutta some times used to clanked his sword of course in no doubt most distinguishing manner at me. I carried on attend with him for about three years over tha t sword. At last I got some what better of him. I became the secretary of Purbapalli and Bankimpalli unoyon (development) Samiti- I had to always follow my suprimo Gopal Das- Why only I? Every one!

 But gentelman! I was a sick mouse!. At time of tuberculosis,in a year, I had several bouts of hemoptosis- and I never consulted a doctor- though my friend Dr Kartik Gupta( He was MRCP and he took consultation fees Rs 2/= only and used to move on his by cycle [like Dr.Darwakanath Kotnis – He told me once] was a doctor ,forcefully used to give me streptomycin injection antibiotics or cough suppression codine syrup from his physician samples, whenever he somehow had news of my illness. After my office hours, I used to spend time in party office. I used to maintain liazo with State office of the party-now Promod Das Gupta Bhavan near Sialdaha Rail station at Moulali . I wanted my eldest son Satya to be politician, trained in communism and at least a member of the Assembly of this state from CPM party. I used to dream that But he did not followed me. Nither, my second son Tito. They moved as per their mother’s wanting and his maternal uncle’s house decision to be a doctor. – My third son Pinto to some extent followed me and so I had developed a big soft corner for him. I was a full loyal communist and a government servant. I was a respectfull popular man in my para and to my most neighbourhoods. In fact I worked what ever whips came from Centralised demoratic Party’s state commitee. Do you consider me now a great Raskel? Or do you consider me a honest loyal comrade to a party? Do you consider me a hero? Nay! I was never a hero!. I was our Gopal da who was then a real hero! I was a simple comrade soldier- you can tell me an insect to party- I have no objection if you tell me that way. At the age of my 80s, I am loving out my life in my corner bed at 1st fllor of my house often taunting myself with fitefull and useless consolation that I was intelligent

{ I often considered myself most knowledgeable, intelligent man with communist or socialist idealism) but I could never became any thing seriously and I often console myself now a days that it is the fools who may become any thing. Few days back satya visted me [ I know he was not usally allowed to vist us come in this house and help us ecomically by his spouse and her relatives ] and he was speaking his desire that he would nominate my name for “Nobel Peace Prize” before Norwiegn Nobel institute as an official nominator and he wants my consent and biodata and brief of my works._ I simply laughed at him! Ha-ha- ha! What was the meaning of Nobel Peace Prize at 82 years sick mouse, who wants to quit this dirty world soon ? I know my name is already existing in Ganadrpan, Ganasakti News paper in wikipedia”-the largest encyclopedia of world in the article of “Sodepur” that was provided by the “Panihati Muicipality” Kolkata Metropolitan Development authority and CPM party with Gopal Das name. What means that to me? To my so many years underground sufferings? My struggle? Today, my realization is that 99% middle class educated who claim themselves as normal people, young generation, so called talented middle class people, must be and morally aught to be prominently charecterless, 400%selfish human creature as descendents of ape, feudal & dirty in nature wearing a mask of artificial polishness, poss smile in between lips without exposing their teeth, but without conciousness and face of a human being and are worthless to do any thing but to think only , and now this 82 years old man and you know that at his extreme age of oldness, now this old man belief strongly in God, in Church, in mousque, In hindu temples & Mandir in Maszids. I today believe that “in GOD or in practising Religion,retual there is no opium- What Marx told”. Spirituality is highly required to be a human and conscious human with minimum humanity . I belive that to live more than 75 is just a curse- like a vulgar- immoral. Who wants to live beyond 75 years? Do you like to want to know it from me? They are 30% upper class, upper middle class & rich class people of 122 cores Indian people. I must say they are fool in real sense ! They are worthless fellows!- simply these words I uttered one evening to my one long time friend Tarasankar- who is illiterate( not even crossed class eight standard] but a regular never failed[ even in torrential rain with an umbrella] visitor of mine, in my house, every evening and we talk now nothing but on Hindu Religion, Koran, about GOD, Onkarnath as Avatar of God, about heaven , about angel of death, about death, about after life- re incernation, about essence of philosophy of this universe- Why it exists? Who created it? Is there any creator of our universe? What is purpose and what is purpose of human life- the history of human evolution ,struggle. Look gentle men! I now discuss with such a man who was also my CPIM party member, long time friends &followers, and who participate with me in all these discussions. I like today Hari nAm Kirtan. What a nonsense I am now. Not that? I’m now a totally changed person- you can say. Probably I have come to edge of my complete realization as human conciousness and understand what is gold and what is glittering. I do realize what is purpose of human life and what to attain in life. I again tell you, I do respect medicine as science but not the modern speciality Doctors- in private sectors hospitals! Let me say the truth! They are simply educated Docoits to sieze hard on money of common people without minimum humanity, spirituality in the name of medical science. I have doubt how much science they follow? How much Hippocratic oath do they follow? I want to tell all old man on their face, all those vulnerable old man to suffer a disease, all those silver haired seniors- I tell the whole world that to its face “… Who thinks I shall go on living to sixty…to seventy… to eighty… to ninty… let me take my little breath! I often feel breathlessness and to take puff from an inhaler Satya gave me long ago. But I want to tell you gentelman, whether you care to listen it or not, I don’t care, I nevr wanted to be an insect like Mr. Gregor was converted in Franz Kafka’s “The metamorphosis” book. Rather I always wanted to be a human mouse with my conciousness- oridinary human conciousness- today this conciousness, respect to old people is mostly lacking & lost from most modern educated able men and women. It is lost even amongst members of my own family too. I find it – the new comers female personality from other family as a part of mairrages of my sons, and they could metamorhised my most able childrens? What a nonsense!. It would have been quite enough, for enough to have the concousness that is half or quarter of the ammont which falls to the lot amongst so called cultured poss gentelemen and gentel wemen educated ladies. There are some middle class mentality people who does pride themselves on their diseases- developing diseases- they suffer as symbol of their economic familial status. I often listen so. What a nonsense society growing up! The fuedalsm never ends. It changed it’s faces only and wears mask. I must not dispute on it. My contention may be absard to many of you. But yet, I had persuded that a great deal of conciousness, every sort of consciousness-in fact is also a disease( later I must discuss what conciousness is]. More and more the conciousness a man has and- I had a goodness and all that becomes sublimed and beautifull, the more deeply I sank into my diseases- it was once the diseases of deprivity- I really suffered. My family took it granted that struggle that had to do with my kind’s nature and belief of socialism for communism, perhaps was normal conditions for them. Did they enjoy that poverty?-that deprivation? Poverty is the part of communistic idealism- I don’t understand that. But poverty has no doubt has its own kind style,merit and own type of economics and genleman ! you know that style and economics is very important in human life. It can lead you to as high as “ immortality” . I still belief that to be a real conscious pure hearted man- a man must pass his part of life through poverty and deprivation- and there comes the question of struggle and struggle makes a man perfect like pure gold with all humanity conciousness and revolution comes with hands to hands of deprivation and poverty- yes! I shall insist upon that bitterness at last comes into positive real enjoyment. Iam telling you these, because I keep waning to know for a fact that whether other people do feel also such enjoyment? Let me exppalin before you. Let me take another puff of bronchodilator. The enjoyment was just from the too intense self pride of intense conciousness. It is the feeling of one self that one had crossed the barier and the fact is that you can never be a different man like “Mr Gregor” of famous book “The metamorhosis”- I liked so much Franz Kafka’s “TheMetamorphosis”. I read all stories notes of Kafka. So you understand gentel man, I can claim the one of mousse man as most intelligent intellectual person of my erea who went through the inner meaning of Franz Kafka- my advice to you,” …do not become a different man. That may one day kill you, your fame. Your physical existence from the world. Don’t try to be pretending either a pseudo capitalist or a feudalists” and if you struggle in your life and a part of your life goes through poverty you can never become a different man sir, that even you’re your time,situation, your companions ,your life partner, your family demands that so. You will still struggle from inner core of your heart, that you are metmorphised from an inevitable situation of demand from a man to an insect. Your past & previous life must & will haunt you in your dream at least and you can not have a deep quite sleep.With those people, who knows how to revenge themselves and to stand up for themselves from poverty- deprivation I called them revolutionist and how these happens? Why they feel taking revenge? why when they are possessed ,let me suppose by the feeling of a revenge,then for the time thre remains nothing else but a feeling is left in their whole being. Such a person simply dashes straight for minimum demands for life of deprived and one can name it struggle for human peace and nothing can stop him but the strong wall- of police arm force. Facing such a strong wall most men will be non plussed. For a revolutionist him that strong wall will not be an evasion but the government power and for most most middle class and upper middle class or rich people who can only thinks and infact do or did nothing for human society, mankind and they always seek for excuses for which I often found them remaining always very good and glad. I wanted my Sons like to be that to be non plussed in all security sense. The wall for them must not become some how tranquilising or morally soothing to be metamorphized but might be something mysterious and to break the wall.- Well such a man I always regarded as real man as his tender mother( my wife) nature wished to see him when she graciously braught them into being on the earth. So I must honour her wishes in regard to my eldest son. Look gentle men! I was also probably a stupid man! and raskel man. Dont you feel it so now? I always moved and persuaded as the antithesis of the common norml man, in my life- my wife always said and excused me so, that is the man with high acute conciosness who has come of course not out of lap of nature but out of almost mysticism , seriousness and for demands. This retort old man is some times so nonplussed in the presence of his antithesis that with all his conciousness I genunenly think myself as a conscious mouse only but not really a man. Gentle men, I uttered you the very term “mouse,” for me. I myself, consider those poor refugees people in Bankiimpalli around my house living in tents or thatched houses as a colony, in Natagrarh colony areas, in and around Sulekha Bazzar areas and in the end of north eastern part of old village Purbapalli and its adjacent places in 1970s, all the proletariats people, all rickshaw pullers, van drivers, Truck drivers, Taxi drivers, local Small shopkeepers ,market small salers, auto rickshaw poolers, maid savants , Cooks, working in Gentleman babus houses , watchmens, marginal workers ,non workers , including then my family members ,all refugees man from Indo Bangladesh war migrated here in 1947 sand in 1970s in and around old Purbapalli village, as acutely politically conscious mousse they were. Some of them were politically conscious enough, some however not... and moved their time to earn for food. Some were quarreling nautically within their own brothers and family members, neighbours mousse, some became habituted drinking chullu, Tari, Bangla liqure. Caanabis, to forget their family poverty and daily quarlls ( Chullu was local made alcohols mixed methylated spirits]- many were illiterate, studing in free schools for the mousse we some mousse established as “Purbapalli Unoin Samiti Pathsala{Primary School} where Satya and his all brothers were also a student, all my family’s child mousse were student including the present generation breeds also to start their first lessons. But in comparison of village of rest of south Purbapalli, Amarabati, H.B Town and East sides of Sodepur railway station(except one or two colony area], where a good deal of upper middle class, few rich class, Land lord people, middle type traders, so called educated service class people ( let us consider these as human beings as descendents of monkey as per theory of Darwinian evolution and as part of nature’s laws). Those living in Bankiimpalli., Natagarh, Sulekha and at extreme northern corner end of village Purbapalli like us were simple mousse as if living by grace of them in that human society. As a result, we mousse of proletariats classes ( Some of we may be literate conscious Read “Das Capital in 2 volumes”, Doctor Zivago ; Franz Kafka , or Foyder Dostoyevsky, Marcose’s “hundred years of solidity” solzhentsin , Chili’s Publo Nerudas “ Hundred Love poems –speaking of Changes” and many Nobel prize winning literature books and in India there were then Only One Nobel lauratee on love poems of human Geetanjali – Whom Nobel prize Secretary in Litrature in 1913 in his sppech told him as a mystic poet or some mousess might not be literate and remained so politically unconscious- who cares for making them politically conscious?) considered ourselves as mouse’s colonization in Sodepur –as migrant of East Pakistan. Some mousse were introduced then as Chittagang some as Barisal some as Dhkai Some as Kumilla so on so on. But before the humans they lost their such identification and were termed as Colony mousse. I intentionally here omit the terminology “street dogs or Slum dogs”- because many readers may later feel insulted of calling ourselves, themselves as “street dogs or slum dogs”. But Street dogs or Dogs are in better position then Mouses. If after my death, the lord of kingdom of death “ Yam” offers me an option for next re- incarnation _ I must want to be reincarnated as “ a dog” in a wealthy family of kolkata metropolis of West Bengal – why? I shall describe that later” Let me take a little pause!. You know that I can not speak now at a stress. My lung is so bad. Ihave COPD, Bronchiactesis, Old Tuberculosis and breathing difficulty. Let me take a puff of Bronchodilator “salbutamol and of Steriod mixtures” 

 “Poor people” suffered here from high degree of feeling insult unnecessarily- as part of nature & fate of all mousses in world. So, we lived our life in the so called society of human beings (were they God for us mouses?) as a separate and distinct society/coloney of mousses- and every one knows mousses always belief in nastiness of its surroundings by their paws and grin their teeth while smile, bears bad mousy smell from their body- human beings don’t like those or can not tolerate such smells. Now let me explain what these mousses will do when they will be in action? All these mousses were deprived of minimum necessity of their livings from the human society, from local human government even in torrential rain during rainy seasons and over floded ponds muddy roads or suffered in extreme cold in winter under their holes or drenching swaets during hot summer time, They had not obtained safe drinking water, electricity while living in holes like tents or in thatched houses and they had to search their food ,what those human beings threw away in their local Bazzar and shops dustbins as their waste.- As a result these mousse are often insulted and felt injured ,some moving to death by the descendent of monkies/ape and also by their next generation children throwing pieces of stones towards them or laughing at them or whispering at them, as if they were thief and docoits in darkness of their foods - As laws of nature of human (I mustn’t blame the humans- they of course can not tolerate nastiness of their surroundings, they are educated –what as if only mousses do and not to do) These mousses will try first to avoid and keep distance from human touch and contact for their own safety from being killing and will try to be hidden in their holes ( please read here their tents and thatched houses and will breed there in larger numbers- years together you readers must know that when female mousse attains reproductive ages they copulate breeds it breeds many infants mousse- as many mousess die in natural course some are eaten , some are taken away by snakes and few survives ultimately as laws of nature ) but they will feel gradually un bearable insult towards them within few years, as many of them were also acutely conscious of their socio political deprivations, injustices -they think and right from the surrounding society- When they will see prosperty of human and it will not find any cause of such disperty under same sky and one day they will arrange and call for a candeled light meeting amongst themselves in their underground holes. In that meeting they will obiviously take a dangerous resolution to invade, to harm those wealthy human beings by strong biting with their strong teeth, nothing but simple for revenges themselves too. They will elect their leaders one…., two….. Three…… four and so on and accumulate other mousse as their dedicated cadre. And they are now in a party. Gentlemen these were CPIM Party how it was formed in Sodepur Purbapalli by mousse like us in 1962! Later on the human beings en mass infiltrated in the party, as the party came into power to rule the west Bengal in 1977-as some mousess took decision to go to parliamentary electoraal procedure-though it was against decision of revolutionary party. These infiltrated human beings pretended then to be well wisher of the party and gave much donation to party fund for their own personal familial business security interest but not of the mousse interests to serve thir problems and if you critically analize as conscious mousess were if the party turned its interest from proleteriate class mousse toward vampire human beings of upper middle class, promoter class, feudal class families and persons middle man class and rich class and moves government economy towards open market economy ,pairastrika etc and party’s chief himself when delares communism comes with hands to hands of capitalism- or we should not see the colour of Cat black or white in case of forgein investment in the name of employment and industry . But gentleman! during the electoral process ,each and after five years in assembly or in parliament the party had no other option but to depend on mosses at remote places wholes & whipped the mousess and old sick mousse like me- who were with the party form the origin of party . And as I told you past in the party there were some many yet intelligent politically conscious mousess( many mousse expired by laws of nature) and those human beings joined in those mousess party to turn it back as organized cadare based regimented human’s party and they side tracked/discarded the real old acutely concious mousse like me,chittada, Gopal da and discovered an innovation to come to power in each and every electoral procedure called Scientific rigging procedure. In fact Gentleman, the old mousse and new generation mousse from their heart till loves the mousse party like my old friend Tarasankar. But they are not still militant. They do not like more to live in mouse’s hole. They have however little metamorhised by a little bit of human nature as long 35 years acompanion of them. So they cannot protest. Whom to protest Gentelman? I say genle man these mousse party will one day vanish in air. The human beings will sowallo this party soon. If you see minutely like a scientist and scientific theory says that community if exists it is very much distinct within the animals. See ants1 the smallest animal of worlds! All animals live in a commune system, except the descendants of ape - human. They are most selfish creature, feudal minded- specially the females - made in hands of all mighty God! No comrades I do belive to day in God God is no more opium to me! But they are peculiar creatures who talks rather on communism, human right, right for others. In reality they do not believe it or practice it in his or her family now. These mousses will be now interested of any kind of revenges for the human beings- as a part of their justice- very pure and simple. - All of you must agree with me on this point. But as consequences, that some mousses may have acute militant Political conciousness, they will not believe in negotiation talk for their demands before local human governments and land lords and justice that might be offered for them by the human judges and judiciary or parliamentary system of ape descendents. And finally these mousse will believe to give strong and lethal bite them as a very act of their revenge and will try to spread plague to human society as a part of mass killing and at least spread wave of shock and teror. Of course some mousses will split from other those militant and malignant will try to pretend benign- though their motive and target remains the same. Thy shall start fundamental nastiness, creating first around themselves and so many nastiness in the form of doubts, questions, adding up questions after questions , so many unsettled questions amongst themselves that finally they will finally workup around the other neighbors mousses for mass support of their movement- and will try to go to electoral procedures and power and election to form a local kind of government of mousses- which will be first a sort of striking mess, unless that government lasts and wins over longs, who stands solemnly about judgement and human will be at first laughing around them to fight the election . Of course other mouses may take another street- left away for those mousses who will dismiss all parliamentary negotiation ways, dismisses all these and with waves of their paws scratching and with a strong mousy smell of of their body ,assumed contempt, in which they themselves do not believe, creep ingeniously into the mouse holes(here readers consider it underground). Here in its nasty underground home, our insulted crushed rediculate mousse will be absorbed in hunger, after hunger, cold, pneumonia, malignant , militant and will have everlasting spite till they falls in final death. For years together they will live there, they will remember their injuries down to smallest, most ignominious details and every moment will add and add of itself details, still more ignominious teasing and tormenting itself for the revenge with its own imagination. Will it be ever ashamed of it’s harmfully imagines for it or for human? But yet, of course, it will recall all, will go over of every minute details of its present and Past sufferings, Suferring leaving in underground, tents ,its all hunger, Stomach ache, diseases it suffered, insult it felt, torments it beard and as a law of nature it will imagine many unheard things about him/them against them above the hole, pretending themselves many untoward things may happen and I can assure you gentleman it will never forgive the human judgement or judiciary. May be to it will start taking revenge itself too, but all those revenges will be in peace meal, to whom it will consider his dangerous enemies, in trivial ways, from behind like guerilla fighter, incognito , without believing either its own right ( I want to tell you the human Right) without knowing the real success of its revangeble scratches or bites, but I ensure you gentlemen it will suffer hundred times more than on whom it will take revenges- may even die, but it will recall all over again with accumulated interest over all the years- where will start an armed revolution against descendants of apes-human judiciary of upper, upper middle and rich class- in a word against have class. Actually the middle class, upper middle class rich class people ( now in India it s near 30% population } who never suffered/suffer of any deprivation, who never faces/ faced any insult and or injury will never understand a single atom of these mousse, people will not understand it either who never received a slap on his face and like theses mousse, you can potentiality hint it towards me and my family too, that perhaps I had my family members had experiences of such socioeconomic injustice slaps on our faces – in my life – and so I do speak to you, as one who are experienced and who knows. But gentlemen set your mind in the way that I have not neither my family received slap of injustice of feudalism in my face (I think it is my eldest son Satya] and it was absolutely a matter of indifference now to me- what you may think of me. - A mouse or a human being

 

   

Gentelman, if you like to devide the descendents of monkey in this planets the human beings [don’t spit on me, as evolutionary ape (nandethral) or monkes are our fore fathers] are you can simply and broadly devide them in basic two groups . one is advantageous groups ( they are humans capitalists , fudalists peoples, sudden raise of middle class people, rich class people with Prosperty, wealth and 90% of human wealth remains in hands of 10% human beings and I usally call that 10/90 gap) and the disadvantageous groups ( like all slum dwellers, village, suburban distant urban poor class people, landless people, Peasents, Rikshaw pullers, van drivers, bus conductors, bus drivers, night watchmans, all laborers maids servants, all proletriate, poor socioeconomic groups or they are haves not group and if you call them mousse – I don’t have any objections as I am myself is a mousse). If you look from the history of civilization in this planet, be it here and every where lands, every country, there was/is always clashes between these two groups “haves” and “haves not”. Why I term it simple clash? I must say it a war may be now cold war and that is the origin of of all kinds of terrorism, and basis of all revolution-The poverty. “Haves” people always took / now even takes all sorts of advantages first, they enjoys all socioeconomic facilities provided by the every nations or a government [ except communists countries] with or without the Perfect certainities and Protections . The disadvantageous groups are like all mousse retreating gradually in their holes. They always give their loubour, their hands, their brain , their finer touches, their intelligence towards the humanity to support the life of idle advatgeous group. Is that not most stupid Phenomenon? . Let me explain that! Suppose a farmer or a group of farmers or peasants yield paddy or cereals or crops or vegetables or fruits- the most necessitates things by humans as animals to survive in the planet{ they can not eat marbel or crystal made houses or A/C machine or Car as their gut enzymes does not support it to digest] - in his field even by making loan to purchase seeds, and all necessary items to grow Paddy, vegitables and he grew crops. The system is so made for the benefit of the advantegios people groups of the Indian society that nither the farmer nor the peasants enjoys any direct power to sell his crops directly in the Indian village markets of the cities or metropolis or even in his own village. There remains must always a group of middle buisness men- a class of rich people or middle class people who will first purchase it from the peasants or farmers at very low prices they will direct, and they sell it in the larger market dealer and shops at higher and higher price [look at spencers, Big Bazzar, Metro markets, Food plazas Super markets] and as a result, the original farmer or peasants who gave his labour to grew crops gets little profit to support his family and always remain as mousess- debt mousess . Profit goes to middle man and larger or middle Trade persons in between and peasants and farmers often suffers from the debt and sucide- this is every where in all industries. The labours gives their labour ,sweat, brain, intellegence and the Profit goes to Industrialists, traders ,buisness personals, middle class instead of original laboureres in the industry.. Of course, I must say you that there may be some other persons or people too, who can not be categorized, can not be included under any such classification. Genleman! if you take the whole register of human advantages and disadvantages, to the best of my knowledge, so far at my age eighty years, I accumulated and so far I understood human politics, a family politics [it starts when new female personalities from other family comes as partnership member ] and politico economical formulas of advantages, Profit, incentives.What can be called simply as advantages? At least in our state of West Bengal? It must be your economical prosperty, it is your accumulated wealth Gold, Silver in coins or bars or ornaments forms in Bank lockers , Bank balnces, use of credit cards , your freedom to move any where your Places of choice, your habitual freeness to purchase any thing from super markets or malls or Ionoxes even what is not at all of high necessity to your sustaining life , your marble made or crystal made palaces or highly furnished flats, your decoration your one…. two… three cars, your scope for private education of your children with school of Pseudo status ( it is not necessary what your children learn the essence of philosophy of life or universe or puropose of life ] and or higher education, purchase and health care purchases capacity and so on so on . I do not want to increase the list- and the man who goes openly ,knowingly and unknowingly to all such lists –are in my opinion due to fact that advantegious group people and be cautios of them as they are often highest selfish personal, feudal in nature, obscuranist, will often guide you in wrong path for your destroy and they try to do it towards others disadvantegious people- inspite of they knows it very well that these people pay all their labours and time for them- as they dream to be like them and they are not united often to resist and often belief . I become always surprised and in fact it remained a surprisig fact, why does it happen so? The possible explanation I finally derived- these proleteriate people are sighed off fools who do not understand their own interest nor the real significance and value of their given labour and works and can correctly do value of their work. The fact remains that there must really exist some thing that is dearer to almost every man than the greatest advantages which become more impotant and more advantageious than all other advantages. So haves people do survive in the society of our democracy without any physical labour and brain remaing just idle, in intertia.- Gentleman let you think that these “have not” labor class people went to interia one day. And I think it is better to do nothing rather to remain in conscious interia and you will say that I envy the normal middle class man to the last drop of my bile,but I don’t care to be in such place. Allow me genleman to defend myself at least!. I agree all with you that man is pre-eminently a creative animal, pre-destined to strive consciously for an object for his better form of living and to engage himself in all kind of enginnering, medicine- and that leads to all discover,inventions and who does that gentleman? All university college professors, students, researchers, and who make them available in the market or to covert the design or methods in three Dimensional products?- the labourers in the industry! How they are able to do it? Because the researchers publishes their materials methods technology without his Exclusive Marketing Right(EMR] in the journals and how many people have monetory power to file for patent and EMR? It is highly costly and spending few lakhs to filee patent and giving patent attorny fees. - why do they publishes them? –for their recognition-their foolishness! Who turns it in three Dimensional products-in the industry? _the labourer!- gentelman take a very simple example it is very essential to make Pakka smooth roads- because it is one of exclusive criteria for an industry and development.- wherever they may lead you but who makes the road?, You? I? nay!. It is the poor village migrated people living in slums? Why they preapare road for your benefit?- because he is pre destined to make the road and to earn wages to run his/her family needs and perhaps that he/she is stupid man than the direct practical man, may be the thought some times will occur to him that the road he made always lead him somewhere and that the destination it lead to less important then the process of making it. The engineer design the road as a first impression like in a fertilized ovum there appears a three dimensional one cell layer human child design made by our gene(GOD? Nature?). And nature’s law in the uterus (rather tell it God’s set up laws for this planet ] is to to save the well conducted design of child from the despising situations or body engineering, until finally birth is done from the womb. Some men likes to make roads and to create and that a fact beyond all desputes and laws of nature. But man does also have passionate love for chaos and destructions and they are worriors also. And its more prominent amongst feudal capitalistic men and women. Women in general( of course there are exceptions) are more passionate for all kinds of chaos and destructions in a family. And they some times probably love to do it.- because are women more mature then man in their thaught process, in their intellegence?. I don’t believe that! There is no scientific proof of that! Are they more feudal and love to be capitalist and feudal? Do they love destructions? Do they fond of all kinds of despute and root of all quarll? Modern women? Educated economically independent womem Becaue probably se is insstinctlvely afraid of attaining her object andcompleteing the edifice one is constructing.who knows perhaps she only loves that edifice from a distance and by no means she she loves it with its close quarters- and that is the reasons that women today dislikes for sharing joint family-

 genleman look at one of youngest twin Rupak. Hecould never value his intelligence his knowledge of physics and mathematics. He is intelligent had degree at master grade level but he teaches and do private tution at very cost to poor people of Bankim palli and as a result he will always remain in economically disadvantegious state.- he is always opposition of to his own advantages- but I don’t blame him. The world till runs probably persons like him- the mad persons, lovers of humanity- they can not take advantages and will invariably leave out it tthey even donot take it into their recoking in the form in which it should be taken. But one fact is truth there remains most advantegious advantage which is more important and more advantages for the sake of which a man if necessary is ready to act in opposition of all human nature laws that is opposition to reason, prosperty- yes that is honor and the best of best is Nobel prize that asatya wanted to nominate myself- but I this kind of advantages is most remarkable and must be or the higest lovers of mankind who did highest for mankind- and so I could not compromise to nominate my name by satya for such an extreme honor—

Gentelman! Had you ever looked at ant heaps? Ant heaps are not today seen in the towns. But they are quite often found in village huts, in the fields. Row of ants? I do often watch them with my dimmed tubular vision while siting sole,idle at corner of my bed. They always carry some things in their mouths or with their legs. I now think that ants had always different kinds of tests. They have marvelous edifice of a pattern which ultimately endevours for “the ant heaps”. With the ant heaps the race of ants begins and with the ant heaps they finally ends up. So I do respect the ant race- and if you must endure the ant heaps. I think the greatest credits of their labours persiverence and good sense as a community. Have you ever looked how they lives their lives in the ant heaps? We people can learn education from education from them. What Education should be given to men? Look at my own family! All my children! All my children,all my children spouses,my grand sons had their education either at high school level or at college level or at university level either as graduate,post graduate or doctorate. Did they had proper education what was to be learnt from ants heaps? Nay! I think that they loved and in the process of dirty family politics{except my eldest Satya and two twin sons) but do not how to end it and I must say it broadly that my 2nd son Tito and 3rd son Pintu had such a dubious character. I must say to you my friends that such dirty family political games was first started with stepping in Sonali(Pintu’s wife) and Satya’s Wife( Tapashi) and later Tito’s wife joined with them,now when Sonali kept herself away with such game and the game is continued with Tito’s wife replacing Sonali’s vacancy by Jhantu’s wife,whenSatya’s wife took the lead giving ideas them of game as hidden outsider. So far I knew Satya had a rough and tough character once with power of analysis in the most correct way. He passed through all stages like ants make the ant heaps.. I suppose he was not metamorphosis to a giant insect and he perhaps knows the only goals on the planet to which the man kind lies in this incessant process of attaining not the things to be attained which be expressed always as a mathematical formula 2+2=4. The formula I just uttered is the basic character of any feudal process game tostart with( two or three female personalities – the new comers in my family started and liked the game of poosiveness and there were their credits that they could involve my beloved sons with my ideology of socialism, as a passive or active partner of their game.). I knew that my sons from their inner core of heart did never and will never want to be partner of the game( and so I consider them loyal to their wife, spine less apes ,which I was never). The game of Feudal personalities( even if there is single intelligent feudal personale…. In turn every one common people will turn feudal and colonial) likes the passiveness of materialism, selfishness, unit family structure and destruction of any family unity and bondness, first by hitting on economic structural stability(what ever it is) and great stone wall between the members. The fact is that who lives and like feudalism they live in more better form and put the disadvantageous people in greatest trouble to exist as human.

But gentleman, I can tell you perfectly and surely that this kind of materialistic passiveness is not the life. But it is the beginning of death of Feudalists, beginning of gelousness amongst brothers with brothers, Brothers with sisters, sisters with sisters, starting of guable stories and spreading of such belief amongst each other and such thing also started in my family too.- I could not prevent it though I understood who were players and refree of such game. This not only in my family,but I hope in most middle class and even low middle class families of the state.

Why man does So? And how far man goes with such a game? Politics in the family, if the opposition is weak in economics or in number or in vigilance the mathematical equation 2+2 always become 4. Let me imagine that the these feudal capitalistic attitude people in fact does nothing, but each and every one of such people do posess a highest IQ level of>167 like of Albert Eienstien and each such people derived an equivalent mathematical formula like E=mc2[ I am really very much afraid of such relativity formula and I conceive that in world there are fewer than 200 people who understands the real meaning of this mathematical formula- The laws of Universe] and the feudal people attains every things in their life in this planet from Samsar and he/she/them succeded in attaining what he/she/they wanted- but I assure you gentleman it will finally dreaded him/her/them. . He /she/they will not be in mental peace and tranquility..He/she/they must feel when he/she/they has found if there is there will be nothing left to look after himself/herself- Gentelman at age of my 80 years as a mouse life I realized these mathematical formula certainity of a game is a kind of a just of in it and something ausefferable , when the certainity aims towards other peoples sufferings and self passiveness of wealth. This concept and practice of pseudo feudalism or pseudo capitalism attitude, style and one day the players of the game will start to do harm within themselves,even to himself or herself- completely unknowingly as a part of his/her/their nature- and nature just take revenge.

 Thus twice two make a four mathematics may be a part of Cox combo who will stand up with arms or hand grenade barring the path of capitalism or feudalism as revolutionist, as terrorism and will try to put the capitalist, feudalists under gilotene –be in in a family, in a village, amongst neighbourhood , in a state or in a country. . It then become standing erect with arms against the state power and then there it becomes exceelant things. . But twice two makes always four was charming things and I can follow many drawing equations E=Mc2, when ever I tried to do in my life- I obviously failed.And those people who who can perform twice two as five are suiable persons for the”Nobel Peace Prize”- I told Satya. It must not be me. And I hope it might be my youngest twin Rupak probably could do Twice two as five and today Satya’s world base fame as theoretical physicist or as Astronomist is due to Rupak’s theory of a mass less particles during Big Bang Momements of Creation of Universe and mass came from another Particles in Nutrinos particle groups,his multi electrical universe concept{ Bhattacharya Model of universe] his concept about anti matter and particle concept of Gravity as he named it “Graviton”- so far I understood him and I think he is the most fittest person in the way of twice the two is five for Nobel prize nomination.

My dear gentel maen! Problem is not with capitalism or feudalism. They are isolated and 10% population in the countryand 1% in the whole world population.. If there is no capitalists in the state, in the country, in the locality, then where from industries will grow? If industries are not there where people will get Job? Unemployment among youth will rise. Poverty will be more. There will be no flows of money in the market. Look at history of civilization and capitalism or feudalism. These people who practiced it in their lives remained welloff, much in better form, in luxurious form. Problem is they do not bother what happens to other people on whose labour they enjoy the fruits of capitalism.- the labour class, the peasants class,the farmer class, the inventor class. These feudal people, these capitalists’ people are pseudo people. They are highly possevive people, corrupted people but idle and passive people. Money itself can not generate any thing. It is brain and labour what generate a three dimensional product. These people accumulate wealth. They lead fabulous life style and they die living their clones of them to continue the same system.. The trained up clones, in the same way from their beginning of school days follow the system. These people you can identify so easily. But problem with the people in psudeo capitalism or in feudalism or such a families or in the society, or in your neighbourhood or even in your own family. Within their concencious mind there remain no words like family members welfare, social welfare [-though they pretend to support such activities with their pseudo smiles] for the disadvantegious members of the family. These people have no concept of family even, no concept of community or communism. These people do not think beyond themselves and their well being. He/she is fond of others sufferings and laughs at misguiding them in wrong tracks towards people living like mousse,like me-who are not conscious about them.. But they forget one important thing. Suffering is the great benefit for these peoples as well. - Because proleteriate class, Poverty line class or Bellow poverty line class, Low socioeconomic class (constitute in India more than 65% people) are all mousse like me and some of them may become militant hungry and may make suicidial squads to destroy pseudo feudal and psuedocapitalistic peoples by strong bite strong scratch and spreading plague. There will be then no bag piper to kill those mousse inany river.

 Gentelman sir, Do you belive in a Palace, in a decorated A/C big flat or in a mansion or a crystal made house- can never be destroyed? A palace at which perhaps no one of your class will be ever able to put his tounge or make a long nose on the sky and perhaps but many middle class,upper middle class people dreams of such a palace or a flat or a mansion- a very well decorated flat of marbel adorned with modern furnitures,cars- they are all dreams of 30% todays middle class population of this country ,India- rather I should say dream of Upper middle class- a rather kind of dream--- but I had never such a dream—you can so tell me a rascle!- I told you I was afraid of Edificcie and mathematical fourmula 2+2=4

 He woke up,though he most time remain bed ridden by sense of his long years for his dimmed and tubular near vision fields from his long years glocuma, optic nerve atrophy in both eyes [ inspite he uses to put drops of 2% pilocarpine and beta blockers eye drops- (both was very costly from local pharmacy medicine shops and probably he ccould not afford them in correct doses thrice a day] bilateral cataract [ he could not afford it to operate] and he had austin moor prosthesis in his right hip-with a catestrophic lean phisic (his ribs could be counted in perfect details from a distance). He had long been immobilized in his bed in prisioned almost in his room, at first floor (after his wife’s death in may 2006- he himself wanted to be shifted there) of the small house- he built with his long years sweats, by the side of chottapukur of Bankimpalli at north eastern end of Purbapali village, about to be devoured by hairs, silver grey eye lashes insects covered with eyes. Through out his life he was a mouse (he always preferred to call himself like that way],-a loyal mouse to the local mousee’s left comminist party CPIM party, to the chief of the party. The night before Satya came to visit him with a proposal to nominate his name for the “Peace Nobel Prize in 2008, he lay almost sleepless in his room darkness, through the window’s iron made grills rods, he could have instead however see (if he had vision) the tops of bittle nut trees,he planted by his own hand long long & long years back, grew up to their full lengths and a piece of sky studed with bright blinking stars and a bright full moon. He can some how till see the hazy moon shape. Two years almost he spent in the planet that his long companion wife passed away to heavenly kingdoms of death. In his often sleepless nights, he listens the chattering of old buddies, insects, night owls. He always put on him shorts, underskerts, shocks ,LOONGEE and or tithered, discolored payjams. He rather prefers loongees most of days. He now a days feel cold and breathing diffficulty, congestion in lungs most of time even in summer times. He is skinny to bones now. His hairs are stlll black colored at patchy areas though almost silvery grey. He does not shave himself to be clean himself most often. His face ,his zygomatic bones becane more prominent and his body appears like a skeleton. But you can identify him yet from his innocent smiles, witth two bright intellegent innocent eyes, and prominent tipped nose. He was long popular for his smiles- He was in fact a musueum of innocense. The smile of a child. He now belives in God, in re- incernation though he respects and now even speaks of Socialism, Karl Marx . How much foolish he is in 21st century in capitalist open market economy system of the state?

 Long after, almost twenty years, Satya visited for some hours his sweet home at Purbapalli village of Sodepur. His mom expired two years back.Since then ,Bholababu was being cared and looked up by Rwitik’s wife Sapna ,his youngest twin sons Ritwik and Rupak and a very old lady maid cum his aya “DeppuDee”. DepuDee is now arround her sixties. Her Sons lives in Mumbai and do service there but does not look after his mother. Satya was in the very room, where his parents lived for last 50 years long and Bholababu now shifted in upstair, after his mom’s death in his own will at a small room.. Depudee was as their family members for last 22 years time and she had no home

--“Are you going to see him suerly?’ Deepudee was busy preapering a cup of tea an some fried tiffin, Parota for Satya & for others, from the adjacent small kitchen she told “……he always talk and likes telling stories of your and your brothers,sister child hood and remembers distinctly every thing of you and all your friends specially Siddhu. He is and was infact very proud of you” Deepudee said at last “are you one of members For Nobel Prize nominators?--- He told your all brothers and asmall gathering here…. few days back….. I listened! He probably deserve that … if you don’t mind”

 Satya knew many questions were struggling enough to pass out from this sixty years women’s lip ever since he came in his little home at village Purbapllli, Sodepur after 22 years. Satya instead of asking deepudee or to Sapna -who was along with deepudee helping her, to take him to his father room- he first went to kitchen at ground floor of house - where his poor ill mother spent her whole life time silently without a single protest to his father’s coomands and was demandless staying in worlds of her auditory delusions to prepare meal for the entire family members and Satya now fixed himself for some tiffin and tea cup in his hand. Deepudee became much old really. She was in this family, since 1988, Satya had to be seperated out of this house with his spouse on demand and chaos, for a rented house to live at Sarsuna, Behala- South Kolkata, and then in a large two rooms of govornment quarter flat at D.S .Lane Howhra- then on his own purchased flat at Brahmapur Bansdroni South kolkata Poss area Regent Park - then at Garia. - Like that of a gipsy family. Satya so had never developed any permanent identity any where or had a permanent adress as if the whole west bengal or kolkata is his home town.- except still a place at village Purbapalli-his own village, Own Sweet home. Gipsy peoples and family do not have any kind of idenitity or home by laws of their nature. Satya had been stepping at his home for last thirty munites or so to see his old father Bhoababu. Last time, he came two years back to perform the 2nd sradhya retual cerimoney of his late mom and he was busy from 9Am to 5 PM to do all retuals with purohit. He then Left house for Garia to his unit family. As a result he could not have a look at his 22 years back left home. Satya was preparing himself to face his father Bholababu within his innerself  

……“first I shall finish my breakfast….” he answered not smiling and both Sapna and Deepudee lowered their eyes of confusion” will you stay here at least this day?. Your father wants!,we all want that! at least-a day---“he already heared you have come “ Ritwik told in his usal low voices- “I understand there may be/may not be some troubles between you and him- and we understand some thing about it- Rupak and Ritwik both appolizes ,not knowing what to do with their own hands and fingers. Sapna told “ He always wakes up early in morning, before any one wakes up. He can not sleep in night too ! He has developed probably prostate problems, trouble to void urine, He feels paiin in his legs, in his hips—He does not want to use his cratches more or to consult a doctor. Ritwik however made a wheel chair for him. He sometimes comes in attached varanda to this room on sunny days

Satya came to varanda and courtyard. Satya saw his home with new eyes. This house, all rooms still painted, as it was long long before white washed, coloured-he left 22 years back. No further addition. At ground floor a small extension was made by his 4th brother Jhantu for his own kitchen. In the front yard his 3rd brother Pinto built his new one storied house on the land Bholababu and Statya’s mother gifted him officially. Satya stepped up to the room his parents lived long and his mom breathed her last. He found there bookshelf- intact as if it was, when he left this house in February1988. He glanced through the collection of Russian authors novels of Bolseveik movemenet Revolution, Das capital Vol-2 of Karl marx, Das , Boris Pasternaek, Solzethentsin,Earnest hemingway-all favourite books of Bholababu. He searched Dr. Zhivago. But It was presented to Debjani once he remembered. There were some illustrated health books of Satya’s undergraduate MBBS class like Gray’s Anatomy, Cunninghum, Ganog Physiology Lawrence Pharmacology Prices text book of Medicine- satya left them in 1988, arranged as it was then. He came up phtographs hanging on wall just above he bookself. It was Satya’s college freshers Photograph, when he entered Medical college, kolkata. Satya wanted to identify himself there. It was he!.. yes—he. He saw the photograph of his late mom, hanging on other side of wall just bellow the faded photograph of Onkarnath-his mother worshiped often. He saw the photo graph of his Grand parents in the lower shelf- it was taken long long ago. His grand parents, for visit when came and stayed in this house, satya was hardly 10 years old boy. Jungles and full of jungles tall trees were in front and arround their houses and the photographs were taken then. 

Deppudee darted out cupboard and stood beside Satya, where he was looking at the pictures his freshers photographs,his grand parents,his late mom’s ,his only sister-Dalia sitting on lap of Bholababu- She was then5-6 years old. Satya remebered, when he used to come home from Medical college hostel as his sister Dalia grew up then. She used to return from her school and her mother used to call her “ Dahlia---- Dalia--- come here…let me see at you…. let me kiss you… you are almost pretty and looking like your grand mother. She would stroke her hairs very carefully-her slimmy hands,her slimmy long nails painted often with cheep nailpolish. Dalia would suerly feel so dreamy when her fingers moved through her hairs and caressed her scalp. She had many other names . Her brothers called her- Mona , Pampa, She had a flower name Dahlia- the sweetest of all flowers. She had highly affectionate to all her elder brothers ( They however never celebrated a birth day party}. She was loved by her mother’s friends too. Satya remembered, probably it was one of her birth day. Bholababu’s one office collegue came that very day. He was Anil uncle. He gave a box of chocolate wrapped in some kind of metallic paper. That man gave a kiss on her cheek. The man called her-she stood with her hesitation near the door of his room- “Dalia come here!- I have a surprise for you! and she gently stepped to his father collegue”Anil Uncle”—She touched at his feet and came back with that box. She looked at the luxrous chocolate, impatient to try them out but not daring to… Satya found the box still kept in that show case bookself- a very insignificant little things- but so important for moving back to time, in past memories of their child hood

 Satya now nods. He feels somewhat calm and too some extent he appeared to be confident. He realized he passed long long years in the depth of pitched darkness of psuedo -capitalism and fuedalism going on still in his unit family structure instead of going towards the light of knowladge- light of universe. He examined next, the decay of the houses, exposing them arround him. The brick walls, plaster, were white washed in rough and ready way long long past ,the paint and plaster had been dirty and became grimmy by 22 years. The floor of the room where his parents lived, cracked here and there. Now here lives Rupak.. A blue plastic bucket and short dirty broom made of ribs of coconut branches stood against the wall. Not a far away, a small one lavatory of where a women can camouflage with dark cloths for daily lavatory works. Satya thought “twenty two years I had not seen what I am seeing now. I am seeing all these because with my companionn family members I have made my self probably another person – a metamorphosisis happened within myself?. I can not go back to my old that saya again. But I must go back to that old way of seeing them at least. Other wise my purpose, my cause will be lost, before I began any thing here. I live now in kolkata metropolis among people with more complicated belief and psudo-capitalistic and many of them with fuedal ideas and here in this house, the world apears stripped of all kinds of artifice. They are not accomplished people. They could not be. They are simple people. Satya now stepped lipping towards the first floor stair case wth Ritwik and Rupak, Depudee and Sapna wre following behind him 

_“Does any one come to visit him? any body, besides his family?”-I mean

- His daughter, grandsons, grand daughter, Sapna looks after him- your mom too was - Deepudee answered him- She is no longer tall, wearing a dirty white sari and blouse as her uniform did not at all hide her discomfort on standing at door way…” your Aunt used to come some times—but your uncle broke his legs. So she can not go out homess. More over he had a brain tumor operation- I heared so. But she takes news of him every day over telephone” Ritwik answered .Satya thanked her within himself- she is in her mid fifties

 “ Is he now in bed room”? Satya climed the stair case with discoloured,near broken railings, where he remember new pots filled with flowers used to be had and he could now even smell the flowers sweetness as his nostalgic senses. His father fond of plantation, agriculture by his own hand , on his nature. He reached the upper floor. He noticed cheep tally roof, some of them are loose, cracked or broken up. Two rooms were locked by his 2nd son Tito and his family. These could had been a modern house.Comfortable ,furnished house with taste , if his other family members would be united, devotted had sacrifice and there would be no dirty family politics started & involving the outsiders family members & living here through mairrages by their choices and even controlling that dirt politics from outside over telephonic instructions or gossiping. The house had fallen on very bad time now- inspite of presence of a personality like Bholababu living here yet. He was a good organizer of the local CPIM party but not a good administrator and could not organize even his family members correctly? Few outseiders female character had shuttered and broken it in pieces destroyed his sweat of socialsm and capitalism. The selfisness, politics Market economy entered in the house,

As Satya with Rupak, Ritwik, Sapna and Depudee stepped towards the door of Bholababu’s room, Satya was greeded by intense beam of sun lights powered through the small three windows open grill peeping through the tall nut trees beside his windows .The glare of stars blinded him for few seconds- then he made out the Bholababu’s bed covered by cheep old grey spread over the tethered mattress bellow, very old burs sue with a oval broken glass mirror, some very small very old photograph of many certificates of Bholababu, satya’s , Tito’s of their past excellences in their examinations in academic carriers, Photographs of VA Lenin, Carl Marx, Chekhov, Chi Guevara, Kim-jal Ung and an very old wooden chair with its back arm and four small wheels at bottom of its legs, fitted by Ritwik for his ambulance at verandah and the 82 years old mouse in bare exposed counted ribs ,wearing an old discolored white pajama- Satya thought a perfect picture he was seeing for the rest 70% people in West Bengal at line of Poverty [government termed them as PL) still. What a disparity between “haves” and “haves nots” even in 21st century after 60 years of independence of India and 12 th fifth years plan to iradicate poverty by central government different schemes

 He has grown more wrinkled in his skin and appears still taller than usual. He was disturbed by a white colored urine funnel pot at feet of him staine hevily with deposition of Calcium layers- a small chamber pot half filled with recently voided straw colored urine. The pot was tied up with a rope at the grill of windows so that he can himself take it up at time of his desire for voiding. Back then his hair black yet, except many distinguished grey silvery white at his frontal, temporal and occipital site, now the spurse hairs and his old head is dirty. His eyes though shrunken in two cavities of his orbits were large and always smiling as museums of innocence as child and now some of themselves as if he came across the GOD himself- the master of this world, but these two slits slung at him out fairy frightened. His teeth were once very strong and now he has few of them. H e often suffered from teeth ache without consulting any doctor and taking medicine for it. It was his nature to tease himself- and Satya knows it and he had last tooth ache for a whole month. He moans of his tooth ache pain very often. He probably enjoys that tooth ache without consulting doctor or taking medicine until it is uprooted by itself

 What happens when a person has developed tooth ache? People are not spiteful in silences but moans. But they are not candid moans of course I think! They are mostly malignant moans. These moans expressed in the first place of all the aimless of his pain, which is so humiliating to the other’s consciousness, to the other members of the family residing and caring him, to the whole village, to the whole state, to the whole legal system of nature, on which you have left no other option but to spit of disgrace, disdainfully but from which you suffer all time, while she does not. Satya also suffered from carries teeth ache often and in several occasions. - He knows its suffering. They express the consciousness that you have in real pain. They conscious you that in spite of all possible wage terms you are complete slavery to your aching teeth and if a dental surgeon or some one physician wishes it your teeth will leave of aching and still if he does not, they will go on aching to another two or three months and that are finally state that you are still in protest of a system ,of some body, all that is left with you, for your gratifications as to thrush or beat your front strong wall with your fist as hard as you can and nothing else more and Satya knew the nature of such people tolerating alone such long standing tooth ache with moaning within himself. The real nature of these people of this house to suffer in silence, to feel enjoyment in tooth ache as sentences of protest and here Satya becomes really afraid of .Have you ever listened some times the moans of so called educated masses of twentieth century and twenty first century suffering from tooth ache on the 2nd and 3rd day of the acute attack? When he/she starts moaning- that is not because, he has just developed tooth ache- not just as any coarse peasant but as a man affected by the progress of rotten educated selfish in human people- the system of feudalism existence, the growth of capitalism and gradually growing rotten pseudo civilization As moaning becomes gradually become nasty and malignant and goes on for the whole night. He knows that a simple antibiotic and Metronidazole and Brufen painkiller can keep off him from such tooth ache and he has to finally visit a dental surgeon, who will erupt his teeth at his chamber and he will be cured of his tooth ache, but he will have to sacrifice his tooth for ever. Satya thus lost many of his teeth. But Bholababu did never however that, Satya over telephone advised him to take him antibiotics and metronidazole tablets whenever he developed tooth ache. He enjoyed the tooth ache always and moaned overnight to protest as a fatigued defeated soldier, knowing very well harassing and giving pain to himself and the audience if before him and the whole family to listen to him his protest. There might be another explanation of these, Satya thought. Bholababu might thought” well I am warring you! I am lacerating your heart if at all you have a conscious heart; I am keeping every one in the house awake, well. Stay wake the, you too feel every minute that I have tooth ache-you ring back to Satya, tell him about my suffering. That’s the way many of his teeth fell finally from their sockets. He never consulted any dental surgeon nor any eye surgeon, never took medicine for his teeth ache .Did he wanted to give any lesson to his beloved sons and family persons. Sufferings can be also enjoyment. Do you not understand that even now? It seems that our consciousness must go ahead all the intricacies of this pleasure. Gentleman, do you laugh on his acts? But satya can not! He can not be delighted also! He is always afraid, jerky and looses his confidence in such situations, as he himself respects as a man- not a mouse and he is on way to meet at him- an old but once militant mousse who are trained to protest and suffer a lot like his tooth ache with others who are also trained like him- after long 22 years- so he was very cautious. Guilt revealed with him not within the mouse as he note-his father but with a different consciousness, intelligence, political idealism and Satya still respect almost every member of this house, then he respects himself and other his known persons. These people are completely demand less. They never learnt to place demands before any one even before their able brothers. Nither before the state. They became rather habituated to live in all kinds of sufferings like constant tooth aches .But they contributed a lot and still contribute. They actually do not know loking at their own interest. They never value their work of their rights?. If their eyes were opened towards the real interests, outsider peoples would at once be afraid doing so many nasty politics, nasty things in the family and they would see then their own advantages and would understand nothing else, like Satya’s wife and Tito’s wife understands nothing else beside their own advantages and possesiveness.

 Satya found his father’s cheeks were too shrunken ,so that they almost touches each others. He wears very old woolen stockings up to his ankle of his feet those touches the floor. To look at him he used to raise his head from his back rest, sretches his neck now, as if he were to stand up he would catch his cratches or some bodies shoulder

 “It is me Papa….. Satya---- Satu” – Satya gurgled whispering approaching towards his bed. He with shoulders support of Ritwik and Sapna sat on other corner of his bed-resting himself on the wall and Sapna & Deepudee arranged a pillow on his back spine as support. Satya sat on corner of his bed- a meter from his father “ Do you remember me! Reognize me! Your’s eldest son-me!”

 There happened probably a kind of internal agitation when the old man, long after 22 years movement of the pale bony hands with tempered fingers that rested on his hip with his name so close to his ears. But the shrunken orbited almost blind eyes came forward face to face of Satya and did not move away from Satya with an innocent old smile style

“ I can not recognize any one distinctly except fews like Deepu, Tarasankar- my friends, members of this house Sapna and your other brothers staying here and my grand sons- oh your sister Dalia with her two daughter and her husband comes to visit me often,” _I now see through the iternal light within myself”- “ but I can recognize voices- I have not been deaf yet; probably I now recognize your voices- on telphone your voices are however some what different-electronic” Satya gave him a salute like a left CPM comrade to him and stroked his feet on floor like a military cornel or Brigedire - out of his respect for this very old man

 However this man gained immortaity-before his death in the history of Sodepur at different Newspaper- From Bartman to Ganadarpan Satya when searched in the Google search engene with key words “Sodepur” or with his name. Every man wants immortality after his death. Buthe atatined that during his living time. He was no doubt great

 The old man began to move his head up and down “ At last however you have come to see me— I mean you have been allowed by your better half –that fuedal women I must be grrat full before her what you say?. I hope you can be happy with your family-though I am in doubt, I know you more thanTito .You are with ideology of mine-may be no more a mouse ” His throat emits a long hars strangled moaning like laborious song for his teeth ache & respiratory troble. He obviously has respiratory trubles. Satya knows it. He suffered from tuberculosis, COPD, Bronchiactesis and very often haemoptasis and his throat filled up with mucous secreation too. He tried to clear up his throat. His blind eyes fixed on him. “……I am proud of you my son”

Satya hesitate a little…. “I have come to visit you and to ask you very silly questions whose answer I am searching. The first, You probably know I am today a member and nominator for the Nobel Prizes, Member of the Royal Swedish Academy of sciences and also of Nobel peace forum oslo; I Informed you those on telephone ” –I also hope you are aware that your mortal name was mingled with development and history of Sodepur and mainly work for Refuzees of Indo Bangladesh work . It is given in Wikipedia, Ganasakiti. Ganadarpan, by the Panihati municipality and Kolkata Development Authority _officially. I sent xerox print out of them to you. I came here today for your permission to nominate your name and work officially for the “Nobel Peace Prize” this year if you give me permission for the same. I can not nominate others name besides nominating you first if you agree on it and then I require some information about your CV and gist of your work

 The old man remained starring at Satya, remained silent, sighed off spited and asked Ritwik to give him the urinal Pot. Sapna and deepudee stepped other end of the room. It was Satya, Ritwik and Rupak and the old man in the room. Satya himself held the urinal pot before his urethral orrifice.” I take much time to start urine and have burning senation too”. He coughed

_”you have problem with your prostate.. you require hospitalization for an operation

 “Your grand pa died also of prostate cancer in 85 years age- I shall also IT is within our gene”

“ I heared your name from your many party members-all your collegue members loves and did much beter than you Papa from this democratic government, from the system and now the party has changed the direction of their policy, adopted capitalistic democracy instead of socialism or communism, you people sacrificed your life and faught. Even the chief of your party leads luxurious life-though retired. I once saw him, he came at sodepur Gholar Math -you all visted him I was with you. You took me there I aso visted him in his ofice at his chamber- He recognized your name”

 Now the the invalid opens his eyes.He was so long busy to void his last drops of his bladder in the urinal pot. His head rested on the back of a dirty thithered pillow and his wrinkled empty mouth opened to take some breath. Satya now noticed his father socks are very old, inelastic, up to his ankle and legs are as thin as child

--“ Do hey give posthumous prize? So far I know they stopped from1974 “he appeared to have fallen asleep closing his eyes

-“Why you are saying So?”

 Then I would request to nominate Gopalda’s name He did much what I did IF they give posthumous prize you nominate his name …….Because I can see death angels arround me,talking with me or “you better nominate yours brother’s name Rupak- of course if you thinks him fit so- not as your brother but as a scientist, as a real nominator

_”I have another silly question! I am writtiing – a novel on leftist revoltion in West Bengal Your opinion on Revolution in the state of West Bengal- Satya whispered- you were a devoted soldire of it You and Gopal uncle, Anil uncle and many others

“ I do now belive in GOD, belive in eternity, heaven desitiny…… Satu….. then a revoltion class enemy class distinction or now on Das Capital, Dr Zhivago or Boris pasternaeyk or Fydor Dostoyevsky all rubbish & trashes. Haves and haves not remained since history of civilization and will continue to remain, Uncle Tom were then and is now, Capitalism Fudalism Were there and will be there. Can you feel it in your own family? ” He coughed. “… I am sorry for your destinity…… I swaer I had no hand in that selection…… it was your’s maternal side……. They also could not anticipate..their nature . Both you and Tito…. Both of you lost – Why are you wasting time to write on revolution? Do you think you have that moral suuport from your inner core? Tell deepu to give a glass of water I can not see distinctly now a days.

 

 Forgieve me! my beloved papa, I don’t want to do it very now. Not because of fact, I’m capable of doing that, on the contrary, because I am capable of doing that and I ‘m so genuinely touched what you did through out in your life sacrificing the most valuable interests of yuor own wife, your own childrens, your other family members, your’s own comfort, simply just for your party left marxcist CPM and your marxcist idealism belief activities, organization. But I must say you papa, the fruit of you people generated and ripened was eaten by some other people of upper middle class & rich class who never did actively any thing nither tolerated aced tourture for the sake of this party, but not the people who loved genuinely your party, sacrifised your whole life as a member, sacrificed your comfortness in this world, your self to organize or you people died premature as political murder, you believe it or don’t believe that. Can you tell me how many of leader’s wife, sons or daughters were murdered in the game to concur writers building? How many upper middle rich or middle class burzoa class family people were Gilotinzed{ they should be really gilotinized] after your CPM party came in this state as a ruling power? Rather they patronized them since late 1980s. Was that not true Papa? Was it not too much Papa? You people were side tracked. I was not in fact so generous minded, nither was so much fool to be the party member like you people were to sacrifise my own life style. Papa our human life is for single time in this planet papa- I do believe. You Marxicist people also say such and believe strongly on that. You don’t believe on incernation or after life or in God or in creator of this universe as God. God is opium to you once- I kew that. I saw you then . I watched you. I was also too much intelligent enough and probably possesed much better I Q then any dam top leaders of any party of yours. You Know papa My IQ still at this age 137 percentyle. I don’t Know how many people do poseses such an I Q. You never belived my mom’s believe or ideology of worshiping to her God. You then laughed on her. My spouse Sorojini also does not believe on God. But Papa do you belive in “Big Bang” of Creation of this universe? Or in believe of Steady State theory of Fred W Hoyel? And if you really belief on Big Bang theory then you have must to belief on a creator of this universe and ultiple time universe creation and death of Universe after a cetain time in Big Crunch . And I hope that you know it already that this Big Bang theory of Dimitri Lamatiere – the priest - is the basis ,is the pillar stone of so many and innumerable Nobel Prizes in Physics and it is going to be proved beyond doubt for our universe. And our universe’s matter (which constitute only 4% of total matter and 23% is Dark Matter and 73% is the Dark enrgy- no body knows of what that dark matter & dark energy is constituted, No body knows where from the spin and therefore mass came) is basis of your materialistic Dialectism theory of Carl Marx. Consider Papa your Materialism with which you people dealt consist only 4% of our observable (baryonic or matter] universe and my Mom, though she was not enough educated, illeterate not a CPM party member, belived in creator or God, She probably dealt with 96% of this universe simply on surrendering her belief and soul on God- I should say it rather the “Creator of this Universe” from zero time zero mass and zero volume- The planck’s time in quantum physics. This is beyond proved today .She was great my dear Papa. You misunderstood her!. And now you yourself believe on that & worship at end phase of your life, when you were in fact betrayed even by your 2nd/ sons 3rd Sons, their spouses, their children and your even your close living party members of this generation. So Papa why to waste that much valuable time in name of a corrupted Wrotton CPM or CPI party or organization keeping your own soul, your family members in hunger, in financial trouble? You could however achive or earn much money, much comfort in living, much wealth, car good houses, that kind of Graduate student at university level you were You could achieve much and much comfort- was that not correct papa? There would be better education of your children? But I must agree that Im genuinely touched what as a family head you family people did for my own study in the Medical college, kolkata and success fully coming out as MBBS doctor from that college under university of Calcutta, the oldest Mdical college in Asia ,of course inspite of your very bad economics ,severe financial constrains, strong poverty and life through struggle? Did you not expect any thing from your eldest son as a doctor and for a comfortable life? Did you not dream that? But why you never demanded any thing from me? Nither You , nor my mom nor these two boys who deserved extreme care as youngest of the family as a rule of nature, but they grew up with much negligence ,care love. What I did for this family I did from my own concencious. Not for you. Nor for any person in this family. To avoid distreious burden of diseases and for you people minimum survival. That could be also done by your second son ,your third son. But they turned their faces from these family, though they utilized this family members and their spouses braught the dirty family politics- the cause of your’s further sufferings. Of course you will say none of their spouses except Sonali was your’s choice- They were other’s relatives choices or by self choices through courtship. Why? Because, you had no time to think about that who is comining as member of this family and as invaders. Whether these invaders will destroy or will make this family up, will be at all helpful or will match to the structure of this family , you never thought of that. But look at mom choice-this very women- Ritwik’s wife and Depudee. Who are the persons looked you in yours and Mom’s illness, in your trouble time? My dear Papa I learnt from you the proverb “ A friend in Need is a friend in deed “ It is none but Rupak Ritwik and Sapna, Deepudee and your this son papa! They are not well Placed econoically. They are not communist by their politics- So far I know. I did not allowed them to be involved in politics. So they did not had knowledge for devide & rule policy or Distinction between “They and We” or Class division. I did not wanted them to be involved in politics- though you wanted. I wanted to bring out them as minimum Graduate from this tough family economics and provided them moral and least economic support to continue their study. Because I knew Knowledge/ information & its application is Power to survive in world . None of your communist friend, none except probably one or two who are still in this earth Don’t communist has any thing wantings in lue of ? But one thing I remained still in great confusion why you objected so strongly to marry “Debjani to became a member of this family- she wanted from herself ,when you never protested sonali, eldest daughter of Mr Brazen Sammadar -who was rather real jottddar and real class enemy of your marx idealism. Was it Gopal uncles order you had to follow without option or some thing else like you took lead role to distribute his land amongst refuges in Bankimpalli in 1972s ? I am really confused papa.

_ “ you know my son there remain always a strong hard sttel stone made wall in between haves and haves not which is not visible in human eye but if you are intelligent you can feel that. I know you are not that person with such strong nerves as it is in Pinto- your 3rd borther was. Your 2nd and 4th brothers are opposite . They are spine less creature surrendering every thing to their spouses. It is not the question how much they had education. It is the question of manhood, strength in mind, your commitments, your feelings and your surroundings- Think about you also. You always attempted for mutual adjustment, balance , co –habitation, as dielegent personality and you never learnened even to grin your own teeth. What meant to you revolution, if you yourself are not a strong nerve leader- a revolution needed even in your own family- and would it was a bi g expection from you by us if to play a model role of such a revolution in this family? But you were always exceptist. You side tracked every problems of this family giving simply some financial help and sharing your moral and support of medical problems of some selected disadvantageous members- you choiced by yourself. Nither you have ever been a real part of revolution for your family,nither or this para nor of this village of Banikmpalli, nor of people of Purbapalli,nither you sacrificed any thing for them- though I wanted it seriously as my future replacement in the local comitee of the CPM party. What your late mom wanted you must remember that! She wanted that you would be a doctor first for this family members,then for the local people your neighbours,then for to treat the diseases of poor refuzees of Bankimpalli and then for Purbaplli- And surely not for people of city based Hospitals . Instead you choiced your carrier as a kolkata metro city based Pathologist- as a faculty of Medical colleges. You have been today Professor.A legend figure may be! I’m no doubt prud to say “ my son is professor of a Medical college!”. But what really meant that for these haves not people? – you wanted respect, fame, money, comfort- but actually not any revolution from inner core of your heart - I hope no body really wanted any revolution in West Bengal in its history- If we would want a revolution then it would come by 37 years the CPM party is in power in writers building- you agree on that? You will listen and find the same slogans of this party what you in your child hood wrote on news paper with red Ink Alta of your late Mom- The same food, development, free health, free education , Job, Security, Security for food and against capitalism and fudealism of America. And foloowing Chinas or Russia’s comunism- The state of West Bengal will never be a Cuba or Chechenia or Venezuela or Peru or Mexcan- never- because there is no one like Fiedel Castro or Roul Castro or Chi Guevera or Zavoj or Gene Sharp.- see you never wanted to sufer- you never suffered as your other brothers and sister suffered- as your mom suffered. You always took the best part of the family- you were also selfish I must say- in question of your carrier as a medicos- you always preferred a comfortable life- you never shared ours daily sufferings hunger choes - the old man took a breath and now appeared to have fallen asllep. Satya knew that what this old man was speaking was the truth and only real truth. He was also selfish and feudal in other sense –a upper middle class oppurtunist creature. Satya was very much aware about of laws of nature! Deduction of natural sciences! Mathemetics! Rupak probably knows better then him.

 As we the human beings are descendents from the ape or monkey ( we yet do not know what were the missing links, and because our 99.9% gene structure are similar with that of ape genes or of shimpangee’s genes structure) then it is of no use of sctowing- accept all incidences in your life as a fact or as co oridinates in the eternity of vast curved space time. When you prove that in reality, one drop of your fat must be dearer to you, one drop of your blood is dearest then hundred and thousands of your fellow human creatures- and it is nature’s law , then comes the solution of all virtues, duties, all prejudices and fancies and then only you accept that if you understand that . In a case of “ twice of the two always makes four in mathematics. Nature never seeks your permission to announce that result. Nature has nothing to do or to follow your wishes, your book knowledge, your Phd or Dsc degrres, Your Job nature, Your fame , Your contribution ,your prejudices, your likings, your disliking and whether you like her laws or don’t like her laws. You are always bound to accept the laws of nature. Bound to accept your own genetics or your gene that you inherited from your parents and your fore fathers in utero. It will follow nature’s law. What will you do with your fellow people’s gene or their genetics? It is simply useless unless it matches. It is always rejected by natures own laws. It never solvs your problem when you fall in diseases and require an organ or stem cells transplant even blood transfusion unless it matches with your own RBC antigens. Nature rejects your fellwos gene or tissues or blood in your body by a immune response reactions through a cell named T lymhocyte we call it Graft versus host dsease may be acute or chronic and that will lead you to your entropy or death. So you must face the strong walls of nature genetics!. You may ask me “why should I care for the laws of nature? Laws of this universe? Laws of this planet- the earth? Laws of mathematics? Do I like dislike these laws and the fact that twice two always makes four not the three nor the five. Do I like at all E=mc2? Einsteins this famous equation. 

 

Chapter-

  I’m a maiden Satan 

You were the seal of perfection onceMay be full of wisdom and perfect in a female Leo fair beautyWere you even in the Eden,the garden of GOD him.. The LORD will plague you with many diseases until he has destroyed your body from the land you are entering to possess. The LORD will strike you with wasting diseases, with fever and inflammation, with septicemia, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, with cancer & pain which will plague you until your human body perish from this planet in fire or clay”

  When father God created me as angel ,my position was infact above every other angels in heaven in Hinduism & Geeta also. My appearance was then so beautiful and dazzling. I used to radiate then various colorfully lights and glory. I was then covered with gold and shimmering jewels all over my body. I was then considered as Chief covering angels and I worked in the throne room of God himself. My possition in heaven was so prestigious. Of course, I might had a further glorious future. I expected it also. But gradually I became greedy, for golds, ornaments, diamonds, all kinds of jewellaries and became much possesive, jealous and proud of myself. If you are kind enough to go through the history of my origin, The very word satan ie, about me youcan find first wriiten in Hebrew lieratures , was generally accepted to mean 'to obstruct', but it also had in it the idea of an opponent or an adversary .  I was the adversary of the god of Abraham . Thus 'the satan' originally meant there, one who 'obstructs', or 'challenges God Abraham'. Let me tell you a real story .The aspect of the satan is seen in the story of “Balaam and his donkey” (The author is great ful for providing the book to his friend Dr Sahidul Islam- cardiologist). Balaam was going on a journey against the wishes of God, who sent 'a satan' (obstructer) to stand in his way ('... I was then angel of the all mighty Lord & stood in the road to oppose him'). It is only because his donkey could saw the angel and refused to go on, that Balaam was prevented from being killed. In the book of Job (probably the oldest book in the Old Testament), Satan begins to take on some of the characteristics. Christians traditionally ascribe to it. The book of Job is a story of a righteous man who loses everything, became very poor (yet he remains faithful to God), because of a 'bet' between God and Satan. After a period of intense economic suffering of the man (when God has 'won'), Job receives back ten times the amount he originally had. In terms of Satan's role, the story begins with the angels presenting themselves before God, with Satan also coming with them (Job 1:6-7). When Job asks why God let Satan torment him the answer was b« You were the seal of perfection,

Full of wisdom and perfect in female beauty. 

 You were in Eden, the garden of God;

Every precious stone was your covering:

The sardius, topaz, and diamond,

Beryl, onyx, and jasper,

Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold and diamond.

The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes 

Was prepared for you on the day you were created.

 You were the anointed cherub who covers;

I established you;

You were on the holy mountain of God;

You walked back and forth in the midst of fiery stones.”

A poem by Professor Pranab kumar Bhattacharya- the author

 I am a Leo woman.I’m vibrating in most the human, upper class , upper middle class so called educated lured ladies & women of late thirtees and early mid forties and within even also beautiful Indian bengalee women- either servicing or not have their dependence or not . I had taken birth in this planet with a human feminine shape & physique {why not masculine I greif often?} with all sorts feminine mean minds and feminine lusts & desires. I’m lucky of course that I often was not killed, feotocide before or just after my birth or thrown away in dustbeen of vat of municipality, which happens still in Indian and bengalee village based society & families very regularly even in this 21st centuries. I may be here too intelligent or too pretty to look in my out face appearance or may be ugly in my appearence. But I never say you for once that beautiful on my inside heart, where it really counts, I rather mean, I may be gorgeous, vibrant, curvy, sexy, with fair complexions & greasy skin with much artificial modern sophistication in my tunes, voices, smiles and talk, & feministic women to look. Even in 21st century. I donot have realy any fixed home. I roam about from one home to another. Look at 2011 years women in India or in Bengal. They may be often educated & sofisticated. Literacy rate in India is today 80% nearly . May not be in science. But in humanatics, commerce, MBA etc. Many of them do their services as secreteriate clerck and earn their money. I also do services. But none of them in bengalee society, I think, has her own personale home-except, however for a few percentage women. Exception is not the rule always that you must know! Of course before her mairage, her home is her paternal home- but some what she remains neglected based on wishes of her parents- some times father some times mother herself, then her in laws home after her mairrage, be it arranged one or by courtship, then in her husband’s home, then her son’s home like almost maid servant, if however she is not driven out by any politics played by us. Had you ever gone the book” A room of one’s own” of Mrs verginia wolf- written in 1929s? I have red that. My conclusion is “ A women must have her own money & own’s room of her, if she is to write a genere fiction or a novel, where she can talk with of herself. We females always likes to be under one man- who ever it is. What we have in our possesion a nice fat waist curvatures, diamond or oval deep navals, shiny greasy skin, soft spongy body, two elastic mountainous or handful boobs (oh! I don’t like at all tiny boobs- they must be handful at least to be utilized in bed by a man for propagation of his clone]. We have our bushy or clean mons pubis, labias, puffy vulva, depth of vagina with pink rugiocity mucosa of vergins, clitoris(oh! it is so sensitive & nice to touch even shaking my all body & mind] for penetration while intercourse by a man. We have two boobs made of fat tiisues, ducts, milk secreating glands, nipple, for being molestrated in man’s two palms and fingers and to be snaked & sucked by man like babies. We do feel godly shivvering sex pleasure!. Sex urge, sex fantasy, we enjoy & have much higher lasting rather longer than what a man does posseses! I do confess as a women, from our date of manerche to our menapose ,even lasting after our menapose, she spends her much time for sexual fanatssy pleasure than a man of her age. Sex is Godly feeling to us. But we don’t like older people, sex less people. I cant even tolerate those men who do not feel sex buldge under his trouser looking at me and my curvature and my body and mind rejects him instaniously. But the society teaches us that my husband’s room is my room? I must follow his desire? Who cares the society norms? If she is intelligent? So I often and some times become a female satan. I want feminism! I want my vigerous orgasm! But I don’t know exactly what to do with this feminism? I also concieve in my belly. God- my father, provided me so uterus, cervix, ovary tube, appendages and all female hormones. So I confess that I became a satan hidden in my own nature & in mind, desire, lusts, my puritential self righteousness for earthen materialistic things, money, much money, all jewellaries, golds , diamonds ,family politics, & war amongst the members of a family,whom I don’t like. Look at history! Behind all great wars the central role is wish of a women. In Kali Yug, in 2011, I can not today tolerate my in laws relations by my mairrage and I play politics; I don’t like socilism or communism. I kow myself only and my children. I always want my own idenity, my own unit samsar, where Im the final words. I don’t mind what happens to others!. And many thanks to all mighty “God”, my own creator, my father, he designed me first actually as an angely as sarpent ( God was kind enough that he first designed me as female succubus but in some religion however I’m bisexual also or as a man also as it is in Hinduism epichs like “ Masculine Asura” or “Ravana” or “Durjodhana”. Satan is usually referred always there as a masculine being in Hinduism. Female satan are called “witch”. You can not call today a female as “witch” though she is in fact that ,because law does not permit it. Such laws helped me a lot to full fill my wishes. Many Hindus, Muslims believe that satan, or the devil as he is often called, can "possess" human beings .Possession is bodily invasion by the devil.) looking that no persons in earth will understands my real inside hidden mind, can successfully study my hidden desires, my limitless lusts, my sex urge for younger boys & girls, because in upper middle class so called english medium school educated women & men. I’m may be nicely acting like actress, very soft & touchy sopken when situations demands such, speak with sexy smiling coloured with costly lipsticks and fine fragarance perfumes, courfull dresses ,costly saris, blouses, gold or diamond ornaments and most sophisticated way -so convincing to idiots , had my university education may be BA, Bsc,MA, Msc, PhD , but who cares in the society that with whom I shall live in together, or marry or with whom I shall talk, when I shall return back in home in night, or with whom I shall enjoy sex in bed – all are value less to man -I feel it strongly and now when & if I may be a class teacher of muddy children human minds. What do you think sir, then? I can mold human growing minds towards all these feminism, selfishness, politics in family ,open market, capitalism, mall , Ionox , plaza , posh culture, fuedalism-all evils. There are of course many non-satanic men and women who find me intimidating - too intelligent or too pretty, or worse yet, both at the same time and they try to avoid me and keep hundread yards distances from myself. I don’t care them! They are few in numbers who can understand me. It takes however sufficient exercises, practices, money expenditure, and much time to be a special woman to be lke a satanist feudal feminist. The poor economic class family girls, ladies, wives, the rural village girls , boys , men , wives can never acquire my special skills of satanism because, they don’t like their self identity, likes to spend their life under some man , morally they are good , helpful for others in distress, they have not enough money to spend for acquiring such special styles & skills. Styles are so important in this Kali yug. Various styles. Up until quite recently, the ratio of satanic men to women had been about 10 to 3 but that seems to be shifting in West Bengal too,in metropolis, cities, and in small urban towns even. More and more young women are going now through the process of exploring the feminism , seeking her ,feminine physique pride, self identity and power in her own family, and more discovering impotence, talking of her un- pleasure, unsatisfication in sex practices & limitations to satisfy her orgasm by their husbands to keep up with their lusts and puritanical self-righteousness. In fact it is tough to satisfy one conscious women sexually with her feeling orgasm by a single man-her husband only, when he is week & old. You must know female sex lasts for long, may be an hour long. And there exist very few men in world who can sustain his manhood at height for an hour or so. It is for few munites maximum-two or three munites on average. The first thing in feminism style is not full filled. Feminism in fact shares a flaccid, luster attitude and its presentations. We, feministic satanic women so like all kinds of dramas/ actings/ exaggerations/ adventures /risky behaviors / like to travel frequent here & there, acitivity and we know it best how to conjure it for ourselves. Those who study such trends within ourself may be calling this "lipstick feminism" (from the more honest "lipstick lesbians?"), "nontraditional feminism" or "antifeminist feminism." You have red obviously Foider Doitevesky? He told it.

I am very much alive and real being in this globe by God Abraham in Christianity also. So described in the holy “Bibel”. I am shown there a fallen angel from heaven to hell. So I am a facist, fuedal, capitalistic and destroyer to any good things, family bindings, structure, selfish, beliver in unit family, do want to harm to others very intellegently with various false advises whom I don’t like and want to take my revange. I belive in creating cold wars between two innocent brothers, brothers and sisters, sisters and sister, sons and parents, husband and wife, family with family ,state with another state, nation with a nation. I am so fond of war, chaos, entopy. How ever there are many men who are also satan. They are however still mazority in ratio. Hinduism also does recognize that different man as satan , Asuras and other entities can perform evil acts and may be thus called satan, under the temporary dominance of the guna of “tamas”, and they are causes of “worldly sufferings”. The Rajasic ( capitalism, fuedalism) style of living and Tamasic Gunas of Maya are considered especially close to the Abrahamic concept, the hellish parts of the ultimate delusion called "Prakriti"- the female nature. In Ayyavazhi, officially an offshoot of that is Hinduism prominent in Tamil Nadu (a southern state in India with Dravidian heritage), followers, unlike most other branches of Hinduism, believes in a satan-like figure, “Kroni”. Kroni, according to Ayyavazhi is the primordial manifestation of evil and manifests in various forms of evil, i.e., Ravana, Duryodhana, etc, in different ages or yugas. In response to such manifestation of evil, believers, in Ayya-Vazhi religion believe that God, as Vishnu or Narayana manifests in His various Avatars such as Baman to Rama and Krishna to defeat evils. Eventually, the Ekam with the spirit (the spirit taken by Narayana only for incarnating in the world) of Narayana incarnates in the world as “Ayya Vaikundar” to destroy the final manifestaion of Kroni, Kaliyan. A devil-like figure in Buddhism is Mara. He is a female beautiful looking tempter, who also tempted Gautama Buddha by trying to seduce him sexually with the vision of beautiful women who, in various legends, are often said to be Mara's daughters. Mara personifies unskill fulness, the "death" of the spiritual life. He tries to distract humans from practicing the spiritual life, benificial life, prolonged disease free life by making people the mundane, alluring or the negative seem positive. Another interpretation of Mara was that she is the desires that are present in ones own mind preventing the person from seeing the real truth phylosophy of the universe and purpose of life and respect for a human life. So in a sense Mara is not an independent being but a part of one's own being that has to be defeated. In daily life of the Buddha -the role of devil had been given to Devadatta. Look now at first mother of every human “ The Eve”. Eve was first a holy child of father, made from left sided ribs of God’s son “Adam”. God created Adam from clay. But Eve was targeted by satan and she belived the sarpent satan to eat the Apple bited by the sarpent. And when father God asked her why she ate apple given by satan sarpent, Eve's response to God's question was, "What is this that thou hast done?" was, "The serpent (here the dropped angel satan) beguiled me and I did eat of temptation." Eve was thus exposed to satan's all works and did what satan then wanted. She lost her human concensus and all holy &pure things. But she put the blame on satan. Eve did never accuse God as satan had accused God to her. She did not side with satan rather made a choice and intellegently sided with God against satanto save her. Yes, to me Eve sinned by eating the forbidden fruit apple, but she did not reject God also. Eve knew herself that satan, the serpent, will ultimately deceive her. However satan's full design against Eve failed by God’s intervention; and therefore, satan hated her and has had enmity towards the good hearted woman every since. Jesus Christ, mankind's deliverer and redeemer, who defeated satan, crushing his head. Her spiritual seed, through Christ, against which satan now wars, is all true believers, who form the body of Christ. That spiritual seed will wrest the kingdoms of this world from Satan. In other words, these overcomers will enter into the full victory of Christ's work. The woman, the Church, the masque- God’s places is still persecuted and hated by satan. Why satan's hatred to Eve? Not because of that she was weak, or inferior or more easily deceived maliable than man Adam. Satan's enmity was rather against the natural clone seeds [children] of the good woman, which, of course, is all human mankind. He so started hating the good & kind hearted woman because she is the bearer of the seeds of kind people in world.

 I got my name “Satan” actually when & after I was thrown out of heaven by my father “God” Abraham himself. I became then so angry and wanted in fact a real judgement from Father himself, being ordered to be displaced from the heaven. But he was not at all merciable to his first child? I was thrown to hell as my own kingdom. I and to send out devils to prowl the earth for converts towards me. The demonic & witch world seems to have been allowed to exist for one purpose only: to tempt humans to turn away from my father Abraham himself. Iam like demons or witch for some peoples. There are plenty people like me around my society. Have you red the book “The Satanic Witch” that  came out 26 years ago!, Girls and ladies! Did you ever just get around to reading it? To me, it's still the same old game of cribbing from Anton La-Vey's books, catering to the new and newer and newer satanic generations, but not wanting to acknowledge those blasphemous philosophical roots. Jayne Mansfield recognized that, for the first time in her life, she had found a philosophy through which she could be a business woman, an intellectual, a mother and a sex pot, deciving men all at once. She mustn't be criticized for committing the ultimate sin of reconciling irreconcilables. There are many educated and intellegent service women like me in this world. We all belive in the spirits world. Satanic women want to gain their strengths by kicking man on their back spine, then castrating men, or by making themselves out of their safe custody as their victims. One may find them they're acting as if providing healing touch and inspiration to those under their roofs, to those, whom they know or who follows them, but cracking their whip & they prefer,accommodates them best in corporate circles ( capitalistic, party ,pseudo feudalism living style), managing their own home-based businesses in same manner or maneuvering whatever they need to survive, all are applying and increasing their power - not whining about why they don't have any! Actually these women do not know what really they wanted in their life. They don’t have or understand any philosophy and concept of human life. They do not have faith on God. We don't need also real "feminism" on our sleeve as our primary identity. We have our identity as “Satanists”. Satanic women are fierce some times; fierce defenders of their men in likes, of their children, of their ideas and of their right & own coccus world. They don’t think for others people- beyond their direct blood relations. Wiccans rather understand the female archetype in a completely different way than satanists do. We know that woman is the Nature - Charle Darwinian laws in his “Origin of Species” book says so. As per his scientific laws women’s nature should be well, as peaceful, awe-inspiring sunsets. But how women can be conniving and ruthless, plotting and vengeful destroyer? "Mother Nature" isn't loving and all-embracing. She's selective, may be cruel and unyielding. Satanists recognize that the force of western modern civilization has always been a masculine, heroic, Promethean drive toward adventure and exploration. Feminist/ Wiccan cant is ultimately "soul candy," like the term that's evolved for pop-science and psychology - this is the equivalent. You may seek it out when you need bolstering up, thinking that you'll be inspired and spurred to greater achievements, lured by promises of unique feminine perspective and strengthening. But ultimately it's not satisfying. The illusion of strength is superficial; the nagging victimization becomes insulting. When a satanic woman and her mate decide, if they'll have children, or who will work in the outside world and who will stay home with the kids, it's a pragmatic question - who has more earning power? Who's invested more money and time developing their career? Who's more capable of earning money at home as opposed to in the workplace? Who's better able to have the patience and other attributes necessary to raise a child? The Satanic woman doesn't need a job to define her capabilities; nor does she need to have children to feel fulfilled. She reserves her "nurturing" for those who deserve her help and encouragement - namely: herself, her mate, and those few she chooses to call her friends & own blood. She wants to find a man who can express her demonic or she conjures up a lover for herself; she isn't desperate for love, vulnerable to ploys from fast talkers.

Many young bottom-of-the-clock women in kolkata metropolis and sub urb from upper middle class who are looking for gothic strength in a man, can't find it in the simpering she-males around them - so they manifest their demonics themselves, dressing in black leather, black stockings and carrying a big black whip. A compleat, satanic women can best spend her time in constant, intimate spiritual and various sexual game play contact with her strongest demonic archetype - satan Himself. In practicing her arts of enchantment, manipulation, inspiration, and protection in the real world, she strengthens both herself and those she chooses to love. She becomes a direct line to our source. That's why a powerful sorceress must be cautious about aligning herself with, and transferring power to, unworthy men.Identity and stimulation. we satanic women tempt, convince and influence people for a , luxurious, colourfull life, costly life style, enjoying party ,sex, leading often sedentary life style, lustful life, intellegently corrupted life, to be more possesive, mostly with those men are weak minded people on this earth, but most of the time our minds, our motives remains invisible to them. They are in fact Idiots. I must say it. They suffer in their life for their own idiocy beliving us blindly. But we some time fall in love also. Then arises the problem with us. What to do!. 

Satan had actually many names. He /she may be called as the devil, Dragon, Serpent, Beelzebub, Abaddon, Apollyon and many many other names. You can find the names of Satan lists many of his/her names from the Bible itself.

 I strongly believe in myself & my works and most of time I pay no mind to what has been told about me by others. It no doubt causes pain within me and I plan how to take revange in later time when he/she forgets about me. Alright! Let me start with God’s book, the Glorious books of “Hinduism” Ramayan and Muslim’s Holy Book “koran”. Everything about me there may be the truth- I don’t mind in those descriptions of Ravana or Durjodhan or. Let it be clear before you that when I say this “when I do so with utmost humility, for there’s also the issues or non issues of style to be successful. A non issue can be turned into issues in fuedalism. It however always causes me great pain that I am belittled in the glorious Hindus Ramayan or Mara in Buddhuism , Mahabharata or Muslim’s koran. But this pain is way of my life! This is simply the way it is. In Islam the satan is referred there as Iblis . According to the holy ‘Qur'an’, God himself created Iblis out of "smokeless fire" (along with all of the other angels) and God created man out of earthian clay. The primary characteristic of the Devil, besides hubris, is that he has no power other than the power to cast evil suggestions into the heart of good men and good women and increase their numbers in the earth. According to Muslim theology, “Iblis” was expelled from the grace of “God” when he disobeyed “God” by choosing not to pay homage to “Adam”, the father of all Human beings. He claimed before God to be superior to Adam, on the grounds that man was created of earth unlike himself. As for the other angels, they prostrated before “Adam” to show their homage and obedience to God. However, Iblis, was adamant in his view that man is inferior, and unlike angels was given the ability to choose, made a choice of not obeying God. Disobedience annoyed God. No one can tolerate disobedience! This caused him to be expelled by God, a fact that Iblis blamed on humanity. Initially, the Devil was successful in deceiving Eve, but once his intentions became clear, Adam and Eve both repented to God and were freed from their misdeeds and was forgiven. God gave them a strong warning about Iblis and the fires of Hell and asked them and their children (humankind) to stay away from the deceptions

 So you can see that in all most all religions ,I, satan was once created by God himself thousands & thousands of years ago however as a perfect angel. I was then called “Lucifer” even in holy Bibel and then I used to be lived in heaven. Traditionally, however “Lucifer” is a name that in English generally it refers to the “Devil’ or Satan, especially in reference to his/her status as a fallen angel from the heaven. In Latin, from which the English word is derived, “Lucifer”, however means "Light-bearer angel [The name Lucifer was applied to a female Satan by St. Jerome and later to the demon of sinful pride by the great poet Milton himself in his famous poem “Paradise Lost”. Lucifer is so the title and principal character of the epic poem by the Dutch playwright, Vondel (who used Lucifer in lieu of Satan), and a principal character in the mystery play by Imre Madach, "The Tragedy of Man". "Lucifer" is also the Latin term originally used by the Romans to refer to the planet “Venus”, when that planet was in west of the sun and hence rose before the sun in the morning, Because the planet “Venus” is always an inferior planet( Kingdom of Satan), meaning that its orbit lies between the orbit of the Earth and the Sun, it can never rise high in the sky at night as seen from Earth. Depending on the orbital locations of both Venus and Earth, it can be seen in the eastern morning sky for an hour or so before the Sun rises, or in the western evening sky for an hour or so after the Sun sets, but never during the dark of midnight. A 2nd-century sculpture of the moon goddess “Selene” accompanied by “Hesperus” and Phosphorus: the corresponding Latin names are Luna, Vesper and Lucifer.  The Picture of Lucifer Taken from Wikipedia Astronomical significance of Lucifer

LUCIFER, was also called Lucifer Calaritanus by, bishop of Cagliari, Sardinia, was a fierce opponent of the heresy of Arianism (first proposed early in the 4th century by the Alexandrian presbyter Arius, who taught that “Jesus” himself is not truly divine but a created being). To further his rigorously orthodox views, Lucifer Calaritanus founded the Luciferians, a sect that survived in scattered remnants into the early 5th century. Blake pictured Lucifer in his illustrations to Dante. George Merediths sonnet Lucifer in Starlight addresses the "friend" as Prince Lucifer. To Spenser in An Hymne of Heavenly Love, Lucifer is "the brightest angely, even the Child of Light]. You ask about me about Christians? Im sure that most Christians still believe that the satan is an angel who was kicked out of heaven to roam around the planet earth, after leading an unsuccessful rebellion against God, and they use passages such as this to justify this from bibel that “Jesus was stronger than Satan. Jesus loves you and desires to save you. Satan is said by people to be the name of an evil being opposed to God, and those who seek to do God's will. Satan was actually not a very prominent figure in the Bible, despite the fact that some people might argue that its presence can be seen throughout. Although it is common to find Christians speaking of the universe as a place divided between good and evil forces (God and Satan respectively), this is not the picture of things in the “Old Testament”. As far as the writers of the “Old Testament” are concerned, everything that happened was an act of God. When bad things happened to people in the “Old Testament”, they did not blame a devil but assumed they had upset or offended God. When good things happened, it was believed to be because people had pleased/obeyed God. The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking lunt and final: Hath thou an arm like the Lord? Now if we begin with the idea that Satan is a being of pure-evil cast out from the presence of God, and totally opposed to all God stands for, then the story of Job presents us with a problem. For if Satan ( the devil) is such a creature, why and how is it able to come into the presence of God? In the Scripture, God is said to be holy and pure and cannot dwell in the presence of sin ('Your eyes are too pure to look on evil; you cannot tolerate wrong.', so how could I, the devil did enter in heaven? Clearly there is no easy answer here, yet if we see Satan's role simply as the 'accuser', this may resolve part of the problem according me. Satan is simply here the challenger, the tester or the accuser. If Satan is being of pure-evil, then this is a strange conversation. Yet it begins to make sense if we see Satan's role simply as that of an 'accuser'. Furthermore, Satan only afflicts Job within the bounds of what God allows, and never goes against what God says . Once again, this is not the image of Satan traditionally held by many Christians as a being who has, and does, find any and every way possible to intentionally disobey God. Yet it does fit in with the Old Testament picture of God as the source of both good and bad (or misfortune) in the world, and Satan as nothing more than God's adversary . The idea of Satan as adversary may explain how it appears in a world God created good and perfect ('God saw all he had made and it was good' . Also, Satan must be included in the idea that everything God created was good. Yet as Satan is also a created being , and as the Bible says that everything that God created was good, this means that prior to the Fall , Satan could not have been the evil creature it is traditionally held to be.Satan will be physically on this earth for 3 ½ years in Gods Calender. During that time he will disguise himself as God. After the 3 ½ years he will be put in the bottomless pit for next 1,000 years. During the 1,000 years satan will not be allowed to tempt any people for an evil. At the end of the 1,000 Gods calender years satan will be released from the bottomless pit for a short time. He will gather the wicked together and they will fight against God and His people. God will bring fire down from heaven to destroy the wicked. Satan will be cast into the lake of fire. He will never again tempt any person. Now when the thousand years have expired, satan will be released from his prison and will go out to deceive the nations people which are in the four corners of the earth, God and Magog, to gather them together to battle, whose number is as the sand of the sea. They went up on the breadth of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city. And fire came down from God out of heaven and devoured them. The devil, who deceived them, was cast into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet are. And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.” 

It is no doubt true, God Abraham first created man before the eyes of us, as angels. Then He wanted us to prostrate ourselves before this creation. Yes it happened, the way it is written. While all the other angels bowed before man, I actually refused to do so. I reminded all that Adam was made from mud and Eve from his chest rib ,by my father, whereas I was created by him from fire, a superior element as all of you are familar. So I must not bow my head before man and lurs the so called city living middle class educated women father Abraham found my behavior well “proud.’ Dis obeying him and He also can not tolerate disobeying Him

Lower you from these heavens”  My father ordered me.” It is beyond the likes of you to scheme for greatness here” He said before every one, every other angels

“Permit to live in heaven until judgments days” I said until the dead arise!

 He granted his permission and I promised that during this entire time. I will tempt the discendents of Adam & Eve specially the women who would been the cause of my punishment and he gave me verdict to construct the hell and send those in hell those I would sucessfully can corrupt and follow me. I most often try with women who does not belive and have faith on God. As some people claim that al mighty God and I pact. According to them I was helping to test Almighty’s subjects who are innosence from birth to destroy their faith, morality , humanity ,the good people, holy people, posseses sound judgments would not led astray,while the evils givining drives into their all earthian desires for materiasm to be fullfilled, posseveness, feudal, jelousy, less judgement, likes capitalism , are panicy , would do sins and later they must fall in depths of my kingdom “The Hell”- I constructed. There may be other ways to explain my jobs. If all men and wemen would rather go to heaven then no one would be frightened of doing sins, and the world of Heaven and its government my father’s deciples could never function on virtue alone.So Evil was in fact necessary. Am I not correct? I am not the only sourse of all evils and sins in this world. Many people sins out of thier own blind ambitions, ignorance, own lusts, lack of will power, Lack of knowledge, baselessness and most often for their own idiocy with some ones instigations deception or temptation on my part. What could I do? I have to do my Job- I am designated by my father. 

 I belive that humans fate is determined by his/her time of birth and influences of planetary rays on them in the earth. I belive strongly in astrolgy and horoscopes and as per the Indian horoscope I am a “ LEO woman”. By nature a leo woman are different than other woman. There are few woman in this world, who likes a leo woman. I shall adivice you all that if you want to make a leo woman your life partner, you think hundred times, you will have to do plenty of completion if you want her to descend to using your name for the rest of life. Leo charecture women are usally not satisfied with a common and timid charecture man. A leo woman –like myself wants to be leader of her sorroundings, or of her family or in her group, whether dshe deserve those or not to be. She is as if lording any thing over lesser charecture woman or man,as if she is a queen ,with false but disarming warmth, with very beautifull smiles on her lipstic , sofisticated false behaviour so that one can not really mind. Perhaps many other girls, who can sense that she is born to rule her husband, her family, her relatives- may be she is right or wrong with delicate style , customs, and manners- like myself.

 Nature seems to have shown some kind of prejudices when I fashion- The leoness with enough vivacity, cleaverness, grace, fairness in her shiny slippary smooth skin, beauty to develop sex appael for at least those women with some left over and I shall make you understand that you are just inferior to me and I can convince it in your mind, you are then victim of inferiority complex gradually growing in your brain cells. One thing of course you can do, rather set yours eyes on Television or on your computer screen or on a humming bird with less brilliant feather and distruct your mind what a Leo woman talkes or advices you. The man who expects a Leo woman to worship at his feet is living in fools paradise. Consider yourself rather little lucky,,if a Leo woman is willing to be your bed partner and allows you to posseses her emotionally. Bt every act of permitting you, every acts of permitting you to love her in bed, she is practically knighted you for heavens and serious forms of orgasmal pleasure and after that you may face a lot of worse. A leo woman is always fond of luxery, costly items, costly living style not available in the burgain basement of yours. Some times a Leo female can act up a strain and pretend herself to be as sweet and harmless as a jelly bean,She may have a voice like a whispering, gentle, courteon manner, big eyes that sparkle deligently when she bats her lusters. A Leo female may appear to be smooth and calm ,as cool and flacid like-but many a times she may behalves like a lioness. They like to have gifts, share gifts, expensive items & foods those are excitement in her tests and is depressed severly when you do not comply & to accomany her one should so positive in different ways of cometeing her. She likes royalty to her,she likes flattering her and her appriciation-that she may not deserve. A leo woman loves a muscular andd tall man. Leo woman are occasional arrogant and has much vanity. It is her nature to feel herself falsely above common masses but many leo women are there who are kindest and most generous of females with a woman comassionate for her children and for helples and for sake. If she is a typical Sun’s hid,she becomes so generous, so gracious and dazzling that mst people gladly gave her credit for being out of the oridinary. She iss intellegent,witty,strong and capable,yet deliciously feminine at the same time leo woman not liike confinement inside her four wall and under one roof can soon rob of her sparkle. She loves to build her carier and unless you have enough money to spend behind her it is better not to take her your partner.Leo woman ikes to have jwelaries,costly coulrfiull dress wears curlers uses wrinkle creams and spends much money in beauty parlour, makes beauty treatments,spends time infront of mirrors. A leo women is always dominating and commanding. As a mother a leo woman like me,,she will pour love on her children generously and lavisly affection on them. I would be easy for her to see their falts,but when she does,she will be strict. Many leo mother have a peculiar way of spoilling the child by teaching them to snap to attention like solidiness,polis their manner and obidience to her.There is a danger of producing a shade too much spending money and giving into request for luxaries in education. As a result her children are deeply in love with her.She will be fiercely proud to her children’s acomplisment and heaven help the outsiders who attempts to hurt them or judge them agaist her proudness.Leo woman lead her life on her own ways,keeping a watchfull eyes out for her kids. Thelarview ninded leos womann usally manage to motherhood and jobs in her office or buisness.Then there comes times,when she looses her all dignity to her peers and poise and becomingrollicking,playfull lioness.She can roam with laughter with aflair forpure slapstick,but when the moment is gone,the stain voice and regal bearing return. Leo woman encourage muscular feagure nd indulge light, innocent flitation because her deep need for applause and adultation cover a srange fear that she is not feminine enough and she always tries to reassure man that she is most desirable which is actually not.

        Chapter 12            

 I am Aeytri- and I fought to live in this planet but committed a Sucide

 Oh! My God knows only why did I meet with Professor (Dr.) Satya on a fine afternoon in my father house. He is a distant relation to our’s. My father is his eldest aunt’s related one brothers. So far I remember, I never saw him before, but listened his name from some one, I can not remember it, now. Satya for last five or six years, I can not memorize it exactly, came in our house to my reverent father-who was a professor of solid state physics once in Dibrugarh University of Assam state of India. He however is still a part-time lecturer in two evening colleges of kolkata and at University of calcutta, after he came back in kolkata to settle his family in between GanguleeBagan and Ramgarha area of Garia, south kolkata. The flats and land was however purchased by three brothers of him and we have our flat at ground floor and the flat has two small rooms with a large dinning cum dressing room, a kitchen, two small terraces and two attached baths, and now and since 2008, I live with my old parents here. My mother had valvular heart diseases in her youth times replaced by mechanical one, hypertension & diabetes and she is now 66 years when my father is 74 years old and had suffered two ischemic strokes in brain but recovered completely with treatment. I have an elder sister married to an income tax lawyer and they had two grown up sons. My elder sister does not look after my parents. Rather her husband- my brother- in laws does not allow her. After all I was then a married women, mother of a growing up teen aged daughter, wife of a totally alcoholic civil engineer in Guwahati town of Assam- who earned a fabulous money and became a rich man from their family business as a promoter, established a company much earlier time in 1990s by my father -in laws. He was an architect engineer from Bengal Engineering College, Sibpur, Howdah, West Bengal. Why I was often there at my terrace window to look at road, when Satya uses to come in every saturdays afternoon in our house to meet my father? Why did I open the shutter of my windows of course that very moment with much intuitively at exact moment and used to stare at him so long from behind? I can not of course tell you for sure that the words, their discussions, their debate, I would like to hear about this Universe, about laws of universe, about origin of Universe, galaxies, CDM, Dark energy, the Big Bang, the Big Crunch, exo planets, Extra terrestrial civilization, Pan spermia, about particle physics, about satya’s youngest brother Rupak’s Zero rest mass particle and antiparticles, about heaven, hellish worlds, Re incarnation, purpose of human life, basic aim of life, and about God- whom I worship daily in my room and I belief that God leads my all activities, my ill fate till beginning of my married life to this end for last ten years- I suffered, had been tortured every moment through out my married life by my husband and my mother-in laws. I often become sure that Satya though would take the route to my 74 years father’s room, but he surely come to this house for myself also. How ever I’m a black eyed woman, having fair fortuned beauty with two voluminous but yet tight breasts, a large circular ass and marvelous curvatures in waist that I’m a pretty women of age 40s that attract a man of course in my outer faminine look and I’m still a woman with all basic instincts, desires of a married woman and a mother but deprived off for last ten years. My husband whom I did not allowed yet a divorce, so that he can not marry again, is a tall, alcoholic, uncultured, fatty but handsome yet man of Satya’s age. He has a broad fore head, almond shaped two eyes and a strong straight nose. In his childhood, I heared it from my sister-in laws, who was root of all my tussles, dissater, that his hands were long and thin and his fingers were jittery and agile, his shoulders were broad side but not as broad as those of a water carrier. But his erect was too small like a baby and he could not satisfy me ever in our bed , he was not solid enough and often had premature bursting before or just within me- all were due to his alcoholism and addictions

However, as soon as I found Satya coming on road towards our home, I used to push shutters of my window, with all my strength and sunlight of setting sun in the west sky, flooded my room. I knew that Satya will spend almost two and half hours or till eight PM night with very high level disgusting non romantic discussions on mathematics or particle physics, laws of this universe to prove his youngest brother’s “ R particle- a sub2 quark particles in nuetrinos - a zero rest mass particle, defining Albert Einstein E=mC2 and that neutrinos is massless theory. They named the Particle as “R particle” according to his brothr’s name Rupak Bhattacharya and signed it as Rb+ and Rb- with mass< 125mev at 8 tetra electron volt (Tev) at higg’s field and claimed that higgs SM particles gave mass to this R particles in Higg”s SM field or their another theory of faster speed particles then light particle (photons/ Bosons) and Rupak named it “Tachyon” or their theory that the force “Gravity” composed of a particle Rupak named it” Graviton”. He published all these discussions as articles in world’s leading and top most impact factor bearing journals of science like “Nature News”, “Nature Blogs” “Science News”, “Science magazine”, “Physics Review letters”, “Applied Physics letters”, “journal of Cosmology”,or as threads started or discussions by user name” Pranab” in BAD Astronomy & Universe Today forum or in Cosmo Quest forum of USA, where in some, you can find my name as “Chandrani”-[ my good name] as one of co- authors with Rupak and other people he liked and gave honor and my father also. I did often join with them –as I had a master degree in mathematics too- I had much interest to see my name in those esteemed journals- my once unfulfilled dream. My duty was to prepare coffee for my parents and myself and Satya did not like coffee- as he explained, according to one his friend coffee is for upper class people’s drink or drink of Satan and I had to prepare tea or sherbat for him with snacks. Satya had then grown up old middle aged like my husband, having his awkward youthful lankings. He however seemed before us much wise and complex but comely with his age. He does not look like or behaved like a doctor- I do often meet as a sales manager of a pharmaceutical company- Galfa. I came kolkata, Ramgarh with an appointment letter at this company. Satya was then a “Professor” in department of Pathology of a state of art Post Graduate Government Medical College situated at heart of city- the hospital I often visited along with my junior medical representatives to meet doctors and to request to write our company’s brand name medicine. - I went to his department several occasions and took advantages of his doctor friends- he used to give me a letter of introduction or request them to meet me and to write my company’s brand name products in precriptions, over his cell phone. This job I joined in 2006. However I did several other jobs at Assam and changed companies several times for last ten years- I left my husband’s house, when my daughter was only 8 years old and left Guwahati when she was 12 years and came kolkata in my parent’s flat at Ramgarh, Garia, to stay & look after these old people with a transfer appointment letter from Galfa at kolkata as sales manager. I often wondered how a pathologist can have such a depth of knowledge in highest form of mathematics, about particle physics, about astronomy, about laws of Universe that my father- a long years experienced professor of solid state physics acknowledged him and confessed before us in a dinner table. Satya had in depth knowledge both in medical sciences, his subject pathology , theoretical physics and about creation of this Universe and it’s laws. He might be a philosopher and guide to my depressed painfull sleepless life- even to my worst, wretched,uncultured and alcoholic husband- who never wanted to understand a women like me for his mother and widow sister and her sons-whom I never could tolerate, neither could they tolerate me. Satya appeared to me, to be selfish to disclose his all knowledge, no advice & guidance of personal problems unless he or she becomes too close and surrenders to him completely. He learned very well how to hide himself from every things and he could pretend intelligently that he is just a novice and always saying “I don’t know! probably you are better then me” and how can it be when he was always topper boy and he showed his resume to my father in my presence with an inner proud. Why men become so selfish? My husband was also selfish in question to his mother, his widowed sister, brothers and nephews. And we women fall in love with man- nonsense! Foolish woman!

“--- Listen Aeytri ….“my inner voice often make mind enough cautious and warned me “don’t make a mistake further!. You may face another trouble! Such type of man can not love you solely and unconditionally, can not love going beyond his social character! social norms! social laws! his fame! they are confined within their known circle. – they can not go against establishments. More over Satya is a married man as you are married women- but separated from your husband. Not accepted by your husband’s family. Satya has a loving & careful daughter of twelve years as you have your own 15 years with your alcoholic husband and her grand-ma and yours in laws and you are fighting with them to bring your daughter with you and your daughter also wants that you live with her and his father. Satya has an educated some what charm looking wife as you have yet a husband whom you don’t want to give a mutual divorce, and he wants that to marry another woman. You married your husband after a courtship of six months as you had no other option because you became pregnant by that time and he in fact did not denied you and your daughter. Satya is not at all handsome as your husband still is! He is rather black like his father middle aged and once very rough & tough, however turned to be wise complex, gentle, with his position and growing age.

But however to me, when I looked at Satya’s eyes, it is seemed to me, once of course he must possessed a heart of child hidden within him, seemed to be so alone, lonely within him, curled up within a thick unbreakable shell like a snail in his outer world, so indifferent- but so dedicated to belief in communism in his political idealism with a totally politicalised brain and mind, economically he is not enough rich as your husband is and your family is, though Satya works as an eminent histopathologist- professor of a government Medical college, serving only poor class people with his fixed government salary with minimum increments for last 30 years and so he can never be economically sound enough to satisfy your expectations- any upper class women deserve and I understood why his ex lover Debjani left him- no woman can tolerate life with his idealism to lead a communistic life and there will be inevitable clash and divorce if at all Debjani would however marry him. Money, wealth, macroeconomics is the dream of woman like us- idealism leads to poverty and Satya do agrees on this point also, remaining often silent. Similarly too much money also destroy moral character of man & woman and destroy family –as it happened to me & there must be a balance. So Satya can not be a choice of mine. He can not satisfy a lady like me- a convent educated, fluent in English- habituated to lead a fabulous married life for ten years of upper middle class society- a pretty woman, a sexy woman, an egotic woman may not adjust with his inherited views of life, aim of life and his politically fixed mind of Satya’s child hood as refugees, his bringing up, his school life. college life, his married life, his success, and his goal of life- he told my parents in between their discussions and I envied him. I knew that Satya, his all brothers and one sister grew up from their childhood in an environment of communism idealism and practice as a refugee in a colony area and his father, I once saw him in their house at sodepur, I went with him in 2008” BholaBabu” kept his family in extreme poverty and I can well imagine why they grew up in poverty, negligence and his mother had psychosis, his brother Rupak developed Manic-Depressive disorders in his college age, though Bholababu was highly educated and a real important personality in the local CPM party of Panihati of sodepur suburb in KMD. In belief and practice his father and Satya’s philosopher and guide was Mr. Gopal Das who died much earlier in 1998. Mr. Das lead their life with whips of true Marxist communism and Satya finally believed in Leninism and to me any ism is now meaning less, wastage of time, money and energy as a man or woman. I doubt whether Satya will ever become free of communistic or socialistic or leninism, ideology. My professor father also do not like communism. He believes rather in Gandhi’s and Hinduism and we are supporter of Congress party for all ours and my husband’s family and I don’t like to be involved in any ism and politics. To me only one ism is there and it is survivalism with dignity and as rich. Otherwise a histopathologist of his caliber[ I saw him in his office room as Professor in department of pathology reporting several full trays biopsy slides in a day for long years] and fame do serve only government hospital? To serve the poor and poorest people of the state in their ailment. How they will give him money and fame? He never cared to join in any private diagnostic laboratories or private hospitals or private institutions, not even as a part time pathologist or as a teacher in pathology in private Medical colleges of this country where he would earn at least three times more then he earns as government servant at fag end of his service carrier, I swear. I am now a medical Representative and when in Assam- I left my husband house, I first joined in Lal’s path- A Delhi based private diagnostic laboratory and then at “Thyrocare” in the next 3 years- a Mumbai based diagnostic center having their net works through out India and I have experiences what a newly appointed MD pathologists salary and incentives they pay, what are honor and life style of consultant pathologists there. In their first appointment, they provide almost twice the amount of state government salaries with all parks, in health industries. The Health industries in India is survived from finished products from government medical colleges and students coming out through endeavors of teachers like Satya. Other wise in private Medical colleges the seats for MBBS costs 50 to 67 lacks when a MD or MS seat costs 3cores-4 cores INR. I never saw another pathologist or doctor, neither in Assam nor in Kolkata, are so rigid in principle not to provide any beneficiary services or advices to middle class, upper middle class or rich class society. Imagine what would be life style if he would join in private diagnostics or did private practice as a pathologists like Dr. Nandi- another my friend- cum well wisher who favored me a lot to write my company’s brand name medicines both in hospital and in his private chambers and Dr. Nandi used to supply my old parent’s essential medicines from physician samples at free of cost. On contrary Satya is against the brand name or brand generic name prescriptions and a pioneer leader of starting generic name prescription and fare price shop model in the health care system of West Bengal. He is in favor of free health care delivery for poors and poorest of poor and free education system and against privatization of health and education and health tourism in the state-what a nonsense idea! Millions of people do survive in this country based on this health and pharmaceutical industries- people like me. My salary depends on how much prescriptions I can generate from doctors at hospitals, private chambers and nursing homes, how much sell of medicine [our company’ Galfa’s brand name products] I can generate in the medicine shops and I know better what Im to offer these doctors and what doctors want from me and I have to offer them for continuous support of my sell. Everything is purchasable and sellable in open market economy of this state and country. And you have to know how to sell it. My monthly salary depends on it. And if I cannot fulfill my target by hook or crook, next month company will kick me out on my circular ass. The pharmaceutical houses know Satya and his movement. They avoids him [thanks to God they don’t know yet that I do have connection with him and I know that they will surely kick me out if they smell it even somehow) Satya is against open market economy, against globalization of capital, against capitalization, against privatization of health and education. In my opinion he is not fit for modern society- because as a man, you know that all modern, convent educated, modern society hates communism, socialism and communism broken every where even in West Bengal and Kerala in 2011. There must not be any word in dictionary as “Poor” or “Poverty”. Poor People must die and vanish and they will be evacuated. You know love is today purchasable and sellable in market with or without sex. But I found Satya as unbreakable here. I heard the story of Satya’s father”Bholababu’s and his families “story from Satya’s lip and satya’s brothers still live in poverty and Satya’s brothers, his parents suffered from tuberculosis, his mother developed Psychosis, tuberculosis, and diabetes and Satya has to contribute to his parent family and his parent family depends on contribution to survive.

 I know Satya’s brother “ Rupak” is a free lancer theoretical physicist with Msc degree in mathematics from Jadavpur University and Satya himself prevented him, opposed him, opposed him to join in a private sector companies as a skilled physicist or even as a clerks to be absorbed. Rupak may be no doubt a genius according Satya, in theoretical physics and astronomy. Today Satya’s worldwide fame as theoretical physicist or Astronomy in world may be of course stands on Rupak’s theory. In fact Satya prevented Rupak for being married also with an educated girl. He believed that Rupak is not enough intelligent for his Intellectual Property and if he comes in contact with intelligent guy/ people they will exploit him and his theories would be then theft by others. Satya strongly belief that Rupak will one day or other get Nobel Prize in Physics for his Zero rest mass particle” Rb+ and Rb- particles” or for his publications “Gravity as particle nomenclature by him as “Graviton” or Faster than Light particles in Universe they nomenclature as “Tachyon particle” or their “Dark Galaxy article published in Physics.org ” But so far to me and my father’s knowledge “Gravity is still considered as force and not a particle” and “Light(Photon] is the fastest particle in the Universe. I myself do not know as Msc in mathematics how far Rupak’s theories will be acceptable throughout world scientists. Merry Gellman- Nobel Laureate in Physics however criticized them saying Quark is the ultimate elementary particle in the Universe. However their publications were in World’s top journal like “Nature”, “Science News”, Science Insiders, Scienceray, “Physics Org” “Journal of Cosmology”, “Applied Physics Letter”, “Physics Review Letter”, “Monday Nottingham Royal Astronomical Society” journal and in world’s leading Astronomical Society forum like “BAD Astronomy and Universe Today Forum”, Cosmo Quest forum, Astronomy Daily Forum, where in some articles you may find my name (as Chandrani- my good name) and my father’s name. My father told me if “Tachyon is some day proved or discovered the whole physics, whole astronomy has to be re- written in new ways._ it is so much revolutionary concept. Tachyon they told in neurinos family particle and they say it is faster speed particle in the universe!- a real nonsense!

 Once, I went to Satya’s house with him at Sodepur and met Satya’s youngest twin brothers Rupak who happens to be younger to me and as a man of 34/or 35 he was not at all impressive neither in his physical appearance nor in his stature,nor in delivery in speech and articulation nor in his gestures and he smoked before us Bidi- I can not tolerate its smell. He is black & his eyes were brilliant. His hairs were long and not brushed. The house was with signs of poverty- unlearned thithered bed, pillows. Satya proposed to me and before my father, if I would decide to be divorced with my husband, he will accept me in their family as his brother Rupak’s wife, who remained yet unmarried. All women who are divorced, or widow or whose husband is missing or whose husband left her and who remain in separation, may appeal in court of Laws with their witness by herself or with a pleader to get divorce and remarry as per Indian laws. The Judge in the court will ask” how long you are separated?; or are you troubled physically or mentally or is your husband has adulterated relationship with other women or mentally ill and do you want financial support from your ex divorced husband to maintain yourself and your dependent children , are these your witness and after few months of separation, they will grant you the divorce and I can remarry and after I am divorced once for all, if his brother Rupak can truly strip me off of my reasons are to maintain myself and him, I shall never questioned Satya’s decision. Our conversation was like these-:

-Satya: “I am however ready to arrange for your remarriage with my this brother and believe me that Rupak will be a Nobel Laureate- a day or other- I swear- Time is matter and his leaving in the planet. I nominated his name twice- I can show you all papers of his nominations to Royal Swedish Academy of sciences and their E to me mail as acknowledgement – both you and he are in mathematics--- I gave your name in his papers at journals—you can develop his concept and theories further--- You will maintain him too--- Finace is matter to upgrade him.

--Aeytri- “But I have my husband and my daughter stays with them—I want my daughter back to me—you know that is my fight.- I don’t like to re marry

-Satya- “Right!. Do you think your husband and mother in laws will allow her with you or will they take you back in your husband’s home at assam?”

Aeytri_” Nay! I don’t like that also. I don’t want to go back to that house and with that bustered man”

Satya-“Who is then person to marry a woman at your age and with a kid of 15 years!”

Aeytri- “ A woman like me? Plenty- much better person than your brother Rupak ” I answered him. I felt anger inside towards Satya. He wants to put me in a family laden with poverty and my income to be used to maintain his brother?. I bit my lower lip angrily and showing him how serious I was to reject his proposals and howmuch I was determined to live alone with my old parents and continued fighting alone to have my daughter back with me in Kolkata.

 I was 16 years younger to Satya and four years elder to Rupak .I was in distant relation to Satya’s eldest aunt parental side living at Tripura. So I had no problem to be remarried with Rupak- in Satya’s family. But the real fact, dear readers, I must say I fall in love with Satya and Satya tries to deny that ,he understands that in my eyes and he wants to see me as his brother’s wife!. Truly speaking, I feel erotic, thinking of him but I could never express that- He never gave me yet a single chance. When Satya opens his lip to debate with my reverent professor father, or with me often and unexpectedly I feel him like putting my big gland mama as a whole into his mouth with my fingers trembling on his nape and tingling on his dense pubis. If Satya would place his heads in between cleft of my breasts as my own daughter used to do that he would surely roll his eyes back into his head with Godly pleasures as he would suck my stout long nipples around with large pink areolas. I would then perspired faintly in tip of my nostrils and upper lip and would imagine marveling at the size of my naked breasts with much surprise and intensity, rather than studying and wasting time to prove theories of his brother “Rupak”. Not only my breasts, my curvature, my elegant thighs, legs, my toes, look at my hairs-my neck- I hope he never saw in his youth time and his married life. I do realize that I have waited patiently and bravely for him and wasting my beauty for last ten years long. 

At times in my dream, my husband, my daughter and my mother -in laws appears. My husband in alcoholic mood and gait. I come to the awareness that my alcoholic bruital husband is also struggling much for his psyche mother walking towards to me to throttle my neck and he calls me back to his house to continue. But there is wide uncrossable river between us. As he calls, I from the opposite bank holding my daughter’s hand in his hand and I notice that he cannot become erect. So I prefer to dream rather, I imagine within my heart, Satya will one day come up behind me and he will be kissing on my nape of neck, on the back of my ear, ear lobules, and I imagine often how much stiff he could be at his age! He must have a very solid, much large enough hard like hot iron rod and that I could lean so that my nape tingled my nipple becomes stiff and breast become heavy and flickering in my labia’s

 I, Aeytri was born and brought up in Dibrugarh town of Assam state of India where my father was a lecturer in Government College and my mother was a school teacher in convent. My mother was a graduate in zoology from Calcutta University in 1972s where from my elder sister passed her class 10+2 standard examinations in CBSC of Delhi Board. We then shifted at Guwahati town of Assam as my father was transferred in most reputed college of Guwahati University, as Professor of solid state physics and my mother had to leave her job and my sister was admitted with English Honors in that college. I was admitted in the convent school. Since my childhood, I was a straight forward girl, not a timid like my elder, and most of my friends were boys, elder then girls and I possessed opposite one then my elder had. As a girl, I was brought up, I had much attentions indulgences and love then my elder had from my father and whatever so, I wanted, he tried to fulfill my wishes. Of course they also loved my elder equally. In CBSC examinations, though I scored a first division, it was not as good as my elder’s result. But my mathematics marks was good and I scored letter (85%] marks. So I took admission in my father’s college with honors in mathematics. In 3rd year, I fall in love with my husband “Prabir Decca” and I was then only nineteen. Prabir then a established business man and he was a graduate civil engineer from Indian Institute of Technology of Guwahati- an Assameese Hindu Brahmin by religion– son of a rich family and his father was also an architect engineer from BE college of Sibpur, Howrah, West Bengal, - who started a promoter business in Guwahati town as builders of flats and malls and selling flats. I mate prabir in a picnic, organized by my friends, attended by him and it was him who hooked me up from there. Prabir was always in a fashionable and very colorful costly dresses with handsome figure and physic and he was going to do this or that to impress ladies and girls, was much talkative, had astounding God given seducing power to take even married ladies- mothers of children, to take them in his bed within very short span of his introducing, and once he could strip off her, he enjoyed her for some years, until he becomes successful to hook up another lady or girl. He confessed me, it was not his fault that these ladies or girls of high middle society cannot resist themselves towards his passions, to be enjoyed by him. Prabir always doing funs and spending lot of money for myself and driving a new brand Chevrolet car in long drive. We did courtship for six months and by this time Prabir took me also in bed at hotels or flats for several occasions and though erect in between his thighs was never enough large , not enough solid and he could not hold for long time, I wanted till my end of orgasm, unless he drinks few pegs before doing. it is however experiences to be fucked by him and in bed either to stimulate myself or as a real story, I don’t know it correct yet, he told me how the woman were seduced by him and his first experience to enjoy sex when he was just a school boy, with mother of his class mate, who was wife of a teacher, mother of four children and he described me vividly an afternoon, under blanket ,how that lady behaved, became first spellbound , then flashed in reddish hue, remained silent for long staring at him strangely, her look changed with times, when he directly approached her, waiting for her consent and how she did finally agreed with him. She took only ten days to call him back over telephone from an outside telephone booth in her house, she was alone in home and she was in kitchen preparing all items Prabir loved, when he knocked her door. She took some time to open door of lonely house. They both stared each others for some time and she was dressed ordinarily, finished her bath. They sat in their dressing room and gossiped until Prabir further asked her decisions about his propose. She smiled at him peculiarly; biting her lower lips strongly with her stained teeth and called him for lunch. While she was serving him in their dining table and she was in kitchen for a while , Prabir hugged from her behind and she was also so excited that she immediately placed her on him, as if she had trembling in her legs and she could not stand further with sigh of her hidden ecstasy and prabir dragged her from kitchen and embracing on her waist he dragged her on his lap sitting on a dinning chair, and she dropped her, followed by several light kisses, staring at eyes and then deep kisses, that she however resisted a little and finally a little after she also took active part and as experienced lady in doing love games with her husband, she swallowed his saliva sitting on his thighs, totally relaxed and sighing off her ecstasy and that day, the mother of his friend, accepted him taking active role from up on his belly. That day, with such an erotic story, I was also excited much to listen the descriptions and my desire was so much flaming that I took him without any protection, I knew, I was passing through my risk period

 Next time, I lost my monthly periods and my urine test in 3rd week became positive in laboratory report. I became mother of Prabir’s child and he did not denied me even and we took hectic decision for our marriage going against my parents and our relatives. After our marriage, I understood that other members of my husband’s family could not accept our mirage very easy and nither took me from their heart, except my father-in- law. My husband joined in their family business of construction new flat project and within few weeks, I understood that his family is very conservative Hindu family of Assam origin for last two ancestors and they had many relatives through out state of Assam. The family maintains all laws, Puja archane, rituals shastra’s, festivals of old Vedic Brahmin system of Hinduism follows Gupta Panjika and they are colonial. They had a joint family system and I had to adjust all of them rather they adjust myself and all power in that house concentrated within grips of two ladies my mother-in- laws and my eldest widow sister in laws with her two children, who often played family politics to maintain her supremacy and dominance over all feminine characters in that house. My mother in- laws was MA in history from Assam University. And she could not accept our marriage from depth of her mind. But she did not protest also for next generation of their dynasty. Prabir, my husband at all had no voices over her mother’s and her mother and sister could be a good actress before their child. He had so much bonding with her that he had to take permission of her before doing any job and depended on her order, even to come in our bed at night and after dinner when I used to wait for him, when his mother permitted him saying “OK son! Now you go to your room for sleep” he used to come. Prabir was just a puppet of her will. My father in law was also a spineless old man personality before her wife. I wondered how such a person spent his married life with such a lady and could expand their business. Within few months my father-in law handed over all charges of company in Prabir’s hand. He no more moved out for office from home. Prabir became boss of their company. I gave birth to my only daughter by cesarean delivery, under most experienced and eminent obstretecian of the city in a five star looking nursing home in Guwahati city. Returned back to home from nursing home, I found my mother in law arranged two married baby sitters to look after our infant girl and to bring her up. One of the baby sitters had sexy figure and fair complexioned. Overall she and my sister-in law remained in charge of my daughter. I used to get her when my baby was hungry for her breast feed and at night when I back to bed for sleep. In rest times, she was under care of my mother-in- laws, sister in-laws and baby sitters. I had also no permissions, rather any need to go to kitchen, as there was long years ago appointed maid cook and my eldest sister in law managed that. So I led my life in my husband’s family almost like a well dressed baby doll kept and adorned in their show case and some times to go either to an invitation or a party or their relatives house with my daughter, accompanied with my parent in laws, wearing costly dresses, jewelries, and face make up. This is the way; I spent almost 2 years of my married life. And by this time, I came to know that my husband started regular drinking of costly foreign liquors shrive sregol or Johnny walker or Royal challenge. He had started drinking, when he was in IIT hostel and he habituated in regularly drinks and he had several pre-marital contacts even with married women. Relationship with woman in his school days [his class mate’s mother] lasted till he got his admission in IIT, when with active assistance of that very woman, he was lucky enough to have another upper class society educated house wife- remained childless for ten years of her married life and she was in distant relation to his friend’s mother and she introduced him with her. It was pre-planned game and the woman was very egger to be mother of a child. So, Prabir was a special invitee and guest for her in their house in absence of her husband. So he had no problem to go to bed with her and she first prepared him two pegs in an evening. She also gave him accompany sitting in opposite sofa and when he felt dizziness the woman expressed her grief for not being mother in spite of her every attempt and she cried in front of him. The environment was in favor of Prabir. The women also took pegs. So there was no problem. After 2 hours she arranged for his dinner and she served him with blushed eyes at Prabir and before Prabir returned she whispered to him she has contact with many ladies who will like him. The lady however remained infertile in spite. Readers, I was not enough sure whether all his narrated stories in my bed before we played love games were at all true in his life. I was however not an experienced woman by those years and I was then just 20 years. Prabir never introduced me with her ex-women not even his school friend. These might be reasons that he would tell me all these erotica’s, because of his hidden subconscious sense of inferiority as a man to his spouse that his flesh was not good enough, not enough solid and often he had premature burst before penetration or he could not hold unless he would drink his pegs and I remained unsatisfied most times or to bring my orgasm with eroticism. With his stories and vivid descriptions my desire started flaming and I could not sleep unless I had masturbation in attached bath. And Prabir was then sleeping. I started to hate him on these as woman but I loved him as well.

Prabir did not like that I very often go to my parent’s home with our daughter. My parents were egger to see me and our daughter. My elder got an arranged mairage at Kolkata by this time. The first time we went to parents house with our daughter. My Parents in law were invited. According to my mother-in laws my parents had no status locus in relation to them and it was not prestigious for my husband to spend night in my parents home with our daughter as per my mother-in law . and my husband obeys all words of his mother and elder sister. My parents also did not feel easy to stay even a night in our house. I used to keep contact with them by telephone. My father in law did understand my position in that house and my mental condition. But he could not up his voice over her wife. One fine morning my father-in laws, when my daughter was three years old, in our breakfast table, and I was serving all tea from tea pot, he gave surprising proposal for her majesty’s approval and permission “ if I would like to continue study further Msc degree in mathematics” I was so startled with that proposal that I had hic cough and tea overslept on the costly dining table sheet and my husband Prabir throwned his eyebrow. Two days later, Prabir in our bed while caressing my privacy to stimulate me and drawing my hand and my delicate fingers on his nape to make it solid enough, but it was not told me that his mother agreed to proposals for my Msc Degree class admission and it was a real great relief for me to come out prison of finely decorated four walls and to mix with outer worlds. That day I raped Prabir-my husband. Sex to me is like a nuclear reaction, like a supernova that explodes in that instant in some galaxies and I never felt that with my husband Prabir.

 My daughter tuned to grow up under full control of mother-in laws and two babysitter, one of them was married, mother of three children fair complexioned ,slimy sexy assamees women “Madhabi Baruia” staying in our home at night shift for last three years, since my daughter’s birth. I had my admission at University for MSC class and a maruti Zen car was purchased for my journey to college and back home. Every decision about my daughter was taken so by my mother-in laws or sister in laws in regard to her admission in Kinder garden school, Odyssey dancing teacher joining, drawing teacher, dressings, every days hair style,, what shoes she will put in her feet, doctor to visit for her immunization or in her fever, cough or diarrhea in consultation with sister in laws and every tits bits and my daughter from that age started to think her big grand-ma is her real mother and she called her mom or mom-mom. I had no choices for her, no option for her ever and I used to get her when she slept in night. Madhabi put her on our bed she slept. Even if she would felt some pain while playing or she demanded something, she would first ran to her grandparents crying and calling them instead of jumping on my lap, she would jump on her mom-mom or pishi’s lap. As a mother of only daughter it was so painful and humiliating torture to me- my mother in laws arranged for me. I lived there like a pet dog. My daughter was growing up like them. I was so tired of my four years married life and I was just 24 then. I tried to convince several days my husband to have a separate establishment in a small flat for ourselves, but he did never pay heed to my request. The other was my elder widowed sister-in laws with her two sons living in that house. She was maintained form the income of family business. His two brothers studying at North Bengal Medical college, Susrut nagar Siliguri.

Money had however no problem in that house. Rather from their business of selling flats it overflowed in the family. Prabir became too busy for expanding his business with newer and newer multistoried flats projects in Guwahati town. Guwahati city started to be extending in every corners due to increasing numbers of unit families, nursing homes, private hospitals, bar and restaurants, fly over broad roads shopping malls, modern cinemas, ionox and a peculiar modern middle class society emerged towards 1990s, who had no respect towards any Indian culture or system and who took nothing serious in the life and enjoying life is their main objective and goal of life. As a result the joint family broke and unit family increased in humps and bumps and demands for two rooms or three rooms flats increased in towns and business of Prabir increased with leaps. He started to return back home at 12 night or even late most days. He used to live home at 8 AM sharp and his car returned back home at 12 o’clock night in most weekdays. My mother-in laws, sometimes Madhabi our baby sitter waited for her return to serve dinner and I felt asleep with my daughter when he entered our room. Our room was so nicely decorated, colorful with costliest modern furnitures, beautiful LED lights, paintings, wall shades and pictures, but I had no peace in my mind because I had no control on my husband and my daughter and my husband believed his mother, his dad, his sister than to have trust on me. And he was a good obeying boy for them and I was like a costly toy in their show case or like pet dogs of them, I had nothing to do also in sun days. It was like a prison for a convent educated lady like me and my sister in laws played family politics with me, complaining against my nature, my college, my education, my degrees, my family status. Prabir stated to drink alcohol in house. He used to drink from his college time. He called his friends and colleagues in house almost every weeks there was a party where they enjoyed alcohol. Father in laws protested such activities of his eldest son in house in low voices before her majesty but my better half presented it to his mother that it was part and parcel of his expanding business strategy and to expand his business areas and business deals and all his friends belongs to upper class like doctors, lawyears, engineers, judges. So his mother gave his permission and my destiny started towards entropy. My objection and my father in laws objection did not sustain more.

 Two Years Passed, I passed Msc examination in Pass division and I was pleased with that result. My acquired degree however did not change my status in that family. Next week, my result was declared my husband threw a party and invited some of his close friends. In that party he arranged cocktail dinner as usual. The party went on late night. In party, my husband forced me I was not usual. The party went on late night. One of my husband’s close friends-an ENT specialist doc and he himself forced me to have cocktail drinks first time I had. I don’t know how many pegs. After some time I felt my body hot, my control over myself was out, my steps were not stable now. I became unnecessarily too much talkative and toxic to man and as I did not fell well, I went to my bed and felt asleep. When I woke up and switched on bed light, I found on my next pillow it was not my husband but that much younger ENT doc sleeping, totally naked, I was astonished,angried ,ashamed and I silently stepped down towards our drawing room and found Prober with our baby sitter Madhabi both naked in deep sleep. I kicked on ass of the baby sitter and she opened her eyes on hurt, saw me and stood on her feet and searched her cloths-on sofa. I threw it towards her to cover and shouted” what all these are going on?”Madhabi covered her with a sari, looked once at me, then at Prabir and broke in tears, sat on sofa hiding her face and whispered that this was not first time that Prabir used her and it was because of him who stimulated her every times to have physical relation with her. At first she tried to avoid, used to protest, advised him not to deceive his wife & daughter, she told him she has her husband and child and she does not like to lose her chastity, but he provoked her with various jewelries, money, gifts for her and her child and moreover she did not get her husband and children for last three years. So one night, in mid night, he came to her bed leaving mine stealthily and stimulated her touching her sex organs several times, inspite of her objections. She in spite of her much hesitation, fear in her mind allowed him in ultimate. He gave her costly Shriva shregal and that alcohol fired her long untouched hidden sex and she with her shyness and hesitation jumped on his lap, he took her in roof where he played with her till dawn appeared in east sky. Surprisingly he was not enough solid, though she tried, to satisfy her. Prabir also used her some times for his business purpose too. She had no options. This was for her stomach and body desire. She explained sex is like a nuclear reaction, like a supernova that explodes that instant somehow in some galaxies and she could not resist him further

I grew up with both innocence and adolescence and I dreamed of leading my life rich with a handsome and intelligent husband that Prabir was with two or three children( - but that very thing Prabir lacked.) living in a lovely home( Our house was more then I dreamt) and often I dreamt that a Prince charming would arrive and always sweep my feet and lead me away with him so that we could conquer the world together( I never had it and had a lonely luxurious jail life). So I fell in love with Prabir for the time when I was only nineteen. I knew many girls( I was not alone) on way to school or college make the same journey with a boy who might be her neighborhoods, or of same class or share a same time table or a doc or an intelligent handsome engineer or cost Accountancy student who will have a bright future in time. I had my menarche in one of my upper class school days, I remember. I woke up in that morning and suddenly I discovered blood in between my legs and I was fatally convinced that I was going to die surely and I ran to my mother and showed her blood stained panties and she smiled at me said “Now you are a young women” and I was really wondered what the condition happened that blood trickled on my legs made me a young women and my mother that day did not gave me satisfactory explanation and she said that it was so normal and that from now for four or five days a month I must have to wear pads between my legs and I asked whether men also uses same kind of pad to stop blood going all over their trousers? My mother told me this is something special gift by God to women and that happens to women only called menstruation- weeping of uterus for male sperm.

 When I was in class XI and seventeen I read my first erotic magazine from desk of my elder sister and I started to write a diary describing my life, my desire to experience firsthand, the things my girl friends told me in class room, the ocean, about snow, about men, about river, elegant women in my relatives, my elder sister, my father, and I always noticed of what is going on around myself- of everything it seemed to me – men are special and lovely made by God.

I fell in love when I was nineteen and I entered in college with my husband Pabir Decca who was an already passed out Civil Engineer from IIT of Gwuahati, handsome and was from rich family with established business of promoting flats. I started to go to cinema, to parties, he wanted to take me and I liked to think myself as most experienced women, though I was not in fact that. I soon admitted that Prabir, though he was 15 years elder then I is my prince, my man for marriage children, rich, prosperous and have a good house

 A few months before my bachelor degree with mathematics Honors final exam was scheduled I and Prabir went for a long drive in the country side of Gwuahati in his Chevrolet car. He always wore beautifully colored dress. We talked a little in car while on drive. He took me in a rest house and I silently followed him and inside the locked room from inside he took me in his arms and kissed me. It was my first kiss from a handsome rich guy. I dreamt then herons were flying, the sunset color, and the sound of distant music from heaven. I embraced him strongly and rubbed my spongy big tight breasts and erased nipple on his-what I read on sex magazine. I rubbed my lips against him with some violence and small bites moving my head from side to side half rythematic and I felt his tongue touched my teeth and I thought it was delicious to eat. The same thing also happened to me.

He suddenly stopped kissing me and asked me” Do you want this also today.....?”

What should I then supposed to say him?” I don’t want that? Of course I wanted this also like every woman wants that within her to understand what love is. But a woman must not explore herself to a man vocally in that ways that now—I love to receive it and moan um...m..m..m especially to her lover future husband ,otherwise he spend the rest of his life suspecting her as an experienced woman doing those earlier with others( I had in fact many boy friend’s in my graduate class) and I decided to not to answer him. He kissed me again and again and that time with less enthusiasm and less vigor- I could not understand him- had he some problems with Sex? He asked me to open his jip. I understood that moment something was going wrong for myself and I had no protection. But I was so afraid to ask him what he was going to do with me. I had to follow his order.... He asked in crack voice to take the black snake in my fingers. With a little hesitation I did it. It was not enough hard & cylindrical flesh; I saw many pictures of it in magazines in various positions.

I started masturbation, when I was only sixteen and in class ten, so far I remember and it happened almost by a chance as I used to touch my genetelia( I don’t understand what special in it and its anatomy never surprised me before) in absence of any one in my home. I used to do when I was a child and I liked the feelings much from my vulva. One day, I was alone in home and there was nothing interesting program in TV. I started to examine my body my inner legs, inner thighs, and to my utter surprise I found a small tube like gland just above my funnel shaped urethra-. I started to touch it and I found that I cannot stop touching & rubbing it. The feeling was so provocative, so strong straight to my brain cells through spinal cord and so pleasurable, godly and a time my whole body trembling and became so tense. After a while, I began to enter a kind of paradise. The feeling gradually grew up & up in intensity and I noticed that I could no longer see, hear clearly, everything appeared to be tinged with yellow & other colors and then I moaned with intense pleasure clinching my teeth. I had my first orgasm. Fluid trickled down.

Orgasm”! How many girls and married woman do enjoy orgasm in their whole married life in India? I swear a very few percentage I don’t understand why female orgasm is made in Indian Society as shame and taboo to speak about orgasm even to her husband or lover? The boys however can speak about their masturbation, their orgasm and share their experiences. But girls and married woman ladies dies to speak what happens in their orgasm. They giggle, have gleefully feelings of revenges for those ladies who have a boy friends or lover or husband to feel them orgasm. Female orgasm is like floating gradually to God’s paradise and then parachuting very slowly down to earth again. The sex then appeared to me wonderful! Though he was not enough solid (I don’t know why? May be due to his alcoholism) within my delicate fingers and it was secret confession to me, I discovered my favorite methods or you readers can say different techniques lying under covers or in bath room using a feather or imagining a stout handsome boy or a man did it for me or using the sprays in the bidet. In fact masturbation gave me enough pleasure and I never considered it as a sin and that I had to pray to God and I do confess that I continued this pleasure every weeks when I am alone in home and I knew some other techniques suggested by my school or college friends. Till this day, when for last ten years I left my husband’s house and was staying alone as working lady in ladies hostel or guest house in Assam or in my parents’ house at Ramgarh I practice orgasm and it is a powerful medicine to fall asleep and exhausting thinking to fight with my in laws to get back my daughter with me.

At the same time, as I grew, I started relationship with boys but I did not fall in love before my 3rd year graduate class and that was with Prabir Decca- My husband. I lost my virginity that very day in the rest house, we entered and we were touching each other’s body with more then usual ardor and Prabir got that day gradually worked up and finally I opened my legs wide apart to penetrate him without any protection. I thought it will hurt me and I was anxious. Surprisingly it did not hurt me much though I was unsecured of it but caused a trickle of blood which left a stain on my petticoat. The game was not however so much magical sensation of my masturbation- the herons flying, the beautiful sunset color, the music of distant heaven- I dreamt and I understood that a man is essential thing for a woman and my aim was to understand what love is! I knew how alive a woman is when she is in love and I understood every thing I have now, however interesting it may be seen does not really excite me more. But love was a terrible thing to me. I had listened the boys and girls do suffer for love and I did not want the same thing to happen with me. I was very strong not to fall in love, though my aim was to understand what love is! And I could gradually understood how fragile man are how in conclusive they are how surprising and insecure they are in question of genuine love and most time they mix with girls most superficially to enjoy sex. And I see those who wanted to touch my heart failed to arise my body and those who aroused my body failed to touch my heart. Gradually I knew how to use a man and how to use Prabir, what is the power of women beauty. What can be then world would be like for an ugly woman? She may have same girl friends but no man are even interested in her and these girls and women suffer in their silences when they are rejected and they try to face their future by looking at other things, beyond getting dressed up for some man. They however become more independent, take more interest in themselves, they take much time before mirror get them attractive, and to be toxic and world for them seem unbearable. But I knew also that” body, curvature, figure does not last for long ever till woman reach to her menopause. They are so fragile.

 I became pregnant and my urine test was positive and I did my mistake and was so unsecured 

 

 So, I finally & hectically took decision to come back at least temporarily at Ramnagar, Garia, kolkata in a penniless, jobless , almost like a destitute women of 44 years, repeatedly raped and being fucked for last 6 months by the care taker Assamese, 23 years, healthy & muscular young boy, I kept him for my own security, as per my mother’s advice ( actually my mother recruited this local Assamese boy , my parents came to live with me one and half year back in my rented flat for 4 months, I had to take, and while here, they tried their best to re-establish my bitter & almost faded up relation in my husband’s house, but they bitterly failed and was tremendously insulted by mother in laws and sister in laws in that house- I lost my character to be house wife in that house- Phoo!) and I was pregnant of 20 months then , to my old parent’s home, back after almost 4 years. [ I came back to Guwahati in 2009 octebar to be with my daughter with a new appointment in a small pharmacy company ] I wanted not to abort myself and get rid of my this further, unwanted ,shamefully pregnancy. As I by mistaken again started to believe that young to be my living co- partner and he told me several times that he truly loves me[!] and he wants that I gave birth to his child and when I did not yet then had custody of my own daughter and I’m fighting legally with my husband for her in the city court. My once aim was no doubt to understand what love is! But it was again another mistake truly. In my life I had done several mistakes , first , when I really fell in love with my husband Prabir Decca- my first love in final year of my graduation in college life. My second mistake was to be pregnant so early at very teen age and to marry Prabir Decca, premature, going against all advices of my parents & relatives. My third mistake was not to take upper hand on my in laws house, specially over my mother-in -laws, sister- in- laws and involved with family politics and tactics to counter act and to spend my rest married life as a beautifully dressed up doll show case of a big buisness promoter’s house, not to take controls on my husband and giving them enough opportunities for bringing up only daughter since her day one, according their wishes, their desire, after all she was my daughter. I was in fact a fool. My next mistake was to leave my husbands home one night to be independent lady , to search my own destiny by self earning, searching for a job and to get an appointment in “Lal’s path collection center” at Guwahati town as a receptionist and then to join in pharmaceutical multinationals house “Galfa” working their with good salary – that my mother-in laws nor my sister in laws or brothers-in laws could accept that a house wife of their family status will go to service like market women( in my mother in laws words like a prostitute) and will become economically independent [ my father in law however never took it so seriously and had a silent support for myself- but he was a spine less creature before my mother-in laws temperament] . My next mistake was to accept a transfer at kolkata to look after my old parents at Kolkata office of Gulfa company. My big mistake there was to fall in love silently, secreatly, with Satya- a totally left Politicalised and scientific theory based brain and peculiar character, which did never recognized my sielent love and ectasy for him. He was a fool even. He wanted me rather to be his youngest brother Rupak’s wife- to his economical suuport – to establish his theories- Who cares for his mathematical theory? Non sense! I that time thought that chances and gifts come once in life and you may get no second chances and then it is best to accept the gifts and chances that comes to you. Of course it is risky. I wanted to see where my destiny takes me. So I wanted Satya as a gift to me by God! But he was a wrong gift. In my life, I wanted to be faithfull to some one or to something respectable to me and then I have to be respectful and faithfully to myself first, which I was not probably and so I had so many mistakes in my life. I could not read my future also and so if I would not be looking for true love, I had to get the midi core loves and out of my system and my little experiences taught me that one, once, in this world owns any things and every things here is nothing but an illusions. - So I finally believed that young Assamese boy, even in my bed, in spite he raped me often forcefully against my will and I had to accept that also. I could not even file a FIR in police station of being raped by the boy, as he became also my savior sometimes in my lonely life in the lonely flat, when I was severely ill of chicken pox, no one came beside me and he alone started to care after me. I was sacked again from my company and I was going out of my bank savings for last two months. So, I decided to come back at my parents home temporarily at least and I put charges of my rented flat to my care taker Assamese boy. I did not even inform Satya on his cell phone about this return that I suddenly decided on 20th April of 2013 to come back at Ramnagar, kolkata. I purchased the 2nd class seat ticket in unreserved compartment and traveled alone by train from Guwahati station and not even with the boy. He wanted to share my journey but I told him to look after my flat & I would return back one or two months later. I knew very well that such a returning back will cause my old parents in much economical and social troubles and social embarrasments, social shame, of course to my reverent physicist Professor father, as I became further pregnant of 20 months, by security young boy, and that is now evident looking bellow my stomach. I had really no option left behind, as my present Pharmacy company ( I changed previous company one year back)) where I’m presently employed to live alone in a flat with that security young in guwahati town,they kicked me off at my asshole with a plea that I could not full fill my minimum given target to sell their medicine brand products, my on &often absence from field surveys and conferences due to my illness, my asthmatics tendency in winter times at Assam [ I have to take steroid as inhalers and strong antibiotics ], my endogenous mental depression and uncontrolled diabetes and finally chicken pox or my appearance before court for a fight to get custody of my only daughter or my absence in office as I used to go to meet my daughter in Tiffin hours or at end of her school periods and probably the most important reasons were that I protested to share bed with my immediate boss-who happened to be an younger local Bengali widower man, at a hotel in chandigarh, during our conference tour and they could know finally that I was pregnant, but I did not live with my husband and don’t stay in their big house, rather staying alone in a rented flat with a care taker Assamese boy. My 15 years old daughter, lives with my husband and her grand mother [ my father in laws was diseased by that time and even I was not informed of his demise] grew up in great luxury and according to them and who was always taught that her mother is a witch, a rotten, charecterless women of bellow status to them, and my daughter, whom I wanted so much to be with me ( and she probably wanted that, in fact she had never shared of her mother’s love and care) whom I used to meet at her school gate during her Tiffin hours( only the driver of her car knew that and I had to give him often tips so that he does not speak out that I meet my daughter at school and we both were afraid that if any how they could know it they would stop her study in that school and I did not want that] or at end of her school periods, abducting often from my office and I brought her in my rented flat too. My daughter started to hate me for last 2 months like any things when I disclosed her that I became further mother.

I felt seriously ill from adult type chicken pox and in fact there was none to take care of me, in my illness, to cook for me, to fetch food for me from out side, to take me to a doc. or hospital or to purchase medicines from a near by medicine shop , to fetch even a glass of drinking water in my thirst, besides that care taker security young and he usually came to flat at 9 morning, stayed with me all days, evening up to 9 PM night and back to his home leaving me alone in flat. Relatives from distant kolkata, my sister, brother-in laws, my old parents, Satya, and my daughter ranged over my cell phone every days- how I am doing, whether I consulted a doc. Taking my medicine or not? But none truly came. I knew, my daughter couldn’t come in spite she might want to live with me in my distress & illness. Her father must be preventing her and she is only 15 years old. Only the care taker boy, during those tough times with me in day times, evening, besides my bed, fully aware of chicken pox is highly contagious and will suffer him. And in one morning it happened. He took advantages of my situation and my lonelyness, helplessness. Belief me readers, I was not mentally at all prepared for these, not even dreamt of these happenings before, neither I could even sensed it when as usual he came in flat .I had that day also fever, body ache, myalgia, abdominal pain and loose motions and I went to bathroom few times since morning. The boy brought my medicine from the shop- I ordered him in a slip, I took those medicines, he prepared my food, took my temperature. For last two days I had erruptions, rashes in form of pustules & nodules all over my body, mostly in my face, covered areas of chest, back, abdomen and I had diabetes simultaneously. So itchy skin rashes, pustules spreaded severely. All on a sudden, to my utter surprise, I was when sleeping on my bed, he attempted to force me. I resisted him for some times in spite of my severe weakness and severe prostration, prayed before him for his kindness, his good sense to return back, not to do all these dirty games at least with me and in spite of telling him that he is almost like my son and I was ill, I slapped him like any things on his face, chest, back, but he appeared so much intoxicated and excited with his animal instincts and was like a Vesuvius, that he locked the door from inside and forcefully stripped off my cloths and gowns and he in front of me also stripped off him exhibiting me his full erecting and vigor. With much agony and pain in me, he tried to prepare me for him. And I had a painful experience of penetration that I moaned in pain loudly and finally when I realized that no one was there to save me form being raped, to stop this boy, I became mute, tears rolled heavily on my cheek lying under him on my spine, I found that with time, my body accommodated him, in spite of my fever, rashes, pain, prostration, and every things and he was in fact enough hard and almost filled interior of my lower pelvis, I had of course once experienced with a ENT Doctor. He could move inside dark cave so arithmetically and could sustain him for long 11 minutes, beyond my ever imaginations and I could not utter a single more word beyond staring at him with wet painful eyes and in fact I felt several orgasm that time in spite of my illness, body ache, prostations, I forgot for long years together, since I came out from my husband’s home. As he finished, when I came back to my senses what happened to me, felt my self humiliated, impure, that I burst into tears and loud cry- and I could not accept that this boy forced me and gave me orgasm several times at same time. I sat naked at corner of my bed hiding face in between my knees and weeping from core of my heart- I could not accept that the boy raped me. I could not look at the boy also. The boy did not care at all my weeping in front of him and naked he went to kitchen, brought some soft bland food he prepared, milk and medicine and two pegs of wine from freeze for me. I was habituated with drinks for last three years before my bed and taking sleeping pills at night. He came forward to me, I slapped him several times crying to be raped. He was naked and his flesh now flaccid. His liquefied sperm tricked down my inner thighs and perineum. He sat besides my legs, separated my legs with force, looked in between, wiped off with a towel and kissed on my inner thighs several times. I tried to push him off with my all strengths. But I had no strength in my wrist and arms. I slapped on his face, on nape of his neck on and on, scratched his skins with my nails and he did not mind, rather he came closer to me and took my naked breasts on his both palms , stared at them for certain times and kissed on my mouth again forcefully. I lost all my physical strength to prevent him but to surrender. After kiss as my eyes were still wet , tears rolled on with moaning and was totally exhausted, he told this time, he took such a decision 3-4 days ago only, when he felt that none was in physical support of mine, even my daughter did not care to turn my bedside to care after in my illness and he felt how much ill fate woman I’m and how destitute , helpless women Im and that morning he was really excited, uncontrolled and last night he masturbated thinking about me. I was still weeping and he forcefully compelled me to have wine and I had no other option but to abide by. We both were still naked. I could not stop weeping and slapped him, scratched him, bite him, several times, as he wanted to touch my body and my privacy. I told him that I must complain and lodge a FIR to police station with a charge of rape against him. He smiled and told me “OK! first get cure, have your strength and then I shall accompany U”. I was ill, tiered and exhausted completely. I had fever. I some how stepped down on floor to cover me. Suddenly I felt severe abdominal cramps and reeling of my had. I had sudden black out. I had loose motion since that morning. I could not walk to bath. He felt some thing went wrong with me. He immediately held me up in between his arms and lifts me to bath. I could not resist him more. He stood in front of me and washed me. I could not think more. So severe prostration that I seemed to be collapsed there. Wine (alcohol) started to work in my brain cells. He took me again and stepped towards my bed. He threw me on my bed, covered me with a bed sheet and put a pillow under my head. I saw this time the Assamese boy- 23 years old, naked. It did not cause me anything. I was feeling sleepy. I had sudden sensation of shivering and cold. Standing before me naked, totally naked, he made a glass of ORS and fed me forcefully.

 On that night he spent in my flat... In evening he accompanied me to a local doctor (in a rickshaw), whom I visited on several occasions, brought medicine prescribed for me. Doc advised me USG of my abdomen as I had loose motion and diffuse pain abdomen... He took me to a radiology diagnostic center and after USG radiologist told me multiple pox nodules spreaded in my peritoneum- I was scared severely. They collected blood from my vein for some other tests doc prescribed. Returning back in flat I ranged to my pharmacy company boss about my chicken pox severity, USG report and for my rest prescribed by doc. He appeared to be angry of my absence. The boy prepared my dinner my bed to sleep. After dinner I had, he closed door and firmly cam up in bed. He again started dirty games to stimulate me. I requested him again and again touched his feet, I told him I don’t like and enjoy such unhealthy games at least with him and these are nothing but sin to me. HE did not care me again, did not pay any heed to my requests. He exhibited his engorgement sitting in front of me and I understood I had to accept this situation, when he is my survivors. He finally took off my all garments. He tried to stimulate me caressing my privacy and I felt my body after some time started responding to his fingers. His flesh was also at height of his excitement, iron hard, hot and he was proud of his size and shape. Though at first nauseating before me, as time passed on I lie quite and mute allowing him, he would like in flooded tube light (he forgot to switch off). He raped me again twice. This time the boy was pleased as I did not protest him much. I was surprised he had no feeling of guilt.

 Back at Guahati in 2009, during Durga puja festival with a job of zonal manager of eastern region of India in another new small pharmaceutical company with less salary then Galfa, I took first my lodging in a ladies hostel in town areas. I wanted to see my daughter every days and I in fact missed her so badly (she also missed me!) while at kolkata, [She used to call me every night in my cell phone] that I decided to come back to Guahati leaving job of Galfa. Every one advised me not to leave this Galfa, rather to take again a transfer. But companies managerial didn’t grant my application for a further transfer and I quit the job with a notice of one month in July 2009. I managed the ladies hostel as the warden of ladies hostel knew my father in laws. I had to travel throughout eastern region almost every week to meet my junior sales Medical representatives(MR] to train them about our company’s products, how to increase sells, how to meet doctors and convince them our brand names to come in their prescriptions. The pharmaceuticals markets is a genuine tough & challenging market, specially for the new companies, unless multinationals one, and established practioners do not want to write prescriptions of companies brand name medicines unless they are provided with gifts in the form they need, even with physical relations when you are a lady Medical representatives, even if they are of my father’s age or of son’s age. So to survive in this market is very tough one. More over the company bosses also wants the same things to be offered by those ladies whom they appoints as MR. So I had to travel almost every weekdays, some times at silchar, sometimes at Dibrugarh,Tinsukia, by bus at Meghalay, Manipur Nepal, Tripura, Agartala even at Siliguri by train in sleeper class and very rarely by flight. I hold there confrences and meetings with MRs. In ladies hostel, I had there some girl friends, who are one, ever noticed in any parties or whom men were probably never interested in, incredible, it might seem these girls and married ladies in hostel were working, were placed for their family needs, for a greater value on the little love they ever received from their own men, their families, and they often suffered like me in silences when they were rejected by their husbands, by their family and they tried to face their own destiny and future by looking for other worldly things, beyond they got themselves dressed up for some one else. They were rather economically independent ladies ( be married or be divorced) and girls. They had often their hidden sighs within themselves and world for them sometimes seemed to be unbearable because of their hidden unsatisfied but flaming desire for sex and that they did not get their man or is rejected often by men and in fact they were so crazy for other men and erotica stories and thier fantasy about men and some of them eben turned lesbian. Every one had her own story, though might be different but all ends in one point, rejected & egger to have sex with men. To go bed with men. Their body, their flesh remain tanned always and they are habituated to do self masturbation in bathroom and common lades bathrooms in each floor contains various marketed plastic devices those things, some times vibrator they carry hiddenly.

 I did that job almost for next two years staying at that ladies hostel solitarily in a small room, sent money every month to my old parents at Ram nagar and I used to save up some money to spend it for my 15 years old daughter. She grew up in my absence of 7 years under care of my alcoholic, brutal, uncultured spine less husband and his psyche mother-in laws, sister-in laws and her doctor uncles. My father in laws by that time expired and none of that house felt any responsibility to inform me news at least. I came to know his demise from my daughter’s lip. She became beautiful and conscious of her power of beauty at her age 15. She was in class nine in school

 The pharmacy house, where I was working as sales zonal manager for eastern region of India, was a new one and the manager was a local Bengali, widower, younger to my age. He knew my husband also. The boss used to offer me to go with him in restoras and he paid all my expenses in that restora. I accompanied him and I often saw some thing, every married woman can however recognize that look and I was not at all surprised of his behavior, because I by this time knew that he was only interested in sex with married ladies and that sex may be or may not be mixed with his flame of love. He told me “ I can give you a flat ( the flat now I stayed with minimum rent) to live in this town, pleasure in doing sex games to meet up your bodies demand and mind tranquilizer for my good sleep[ I would not require more sleeping pills], some money for your parents and a good advocate in High court to fight with your husband for your daughter’s sake and your future I can built But I did not in fact want besides Satya, though he might neglect my inner untold feelings in my heart for him, pretend not to understand my minds. The man was a widower, younger to me with two children, one son and a daughter. His wife owned a big pub and a night club in heart of town and he was in fact looking desperately for a woman who wanted to replace her passed away wife as well work in the night club as manager and he reckoned that I got that appeal what it takes to become the main attraction at his night club. He was however a complete business man. Of course he had not seen me to sing or dance a belly dance and of course I could learn all those, when beauty is something costly, I’m & my elder sister born with.

 Every day from my ladies hostel to my pharmaceuticals office or while to visit local docs at their chambers or nursing homes or in hospital OPDs, I did walk on my sandels, where I looked at children, the foot ball players, the beggars begging for coins or food, drunks, sellers selling traditional artifacts, people living with their families in pavements, Slum boys, china markets selling china goods, the people jogging and exercising as a way of fading off their old ages, sometimes foreigners, the pensioners playing cards and raising malls and apartments, newer generations young residing in big apartments and driving their cars and mostly I stared to see those lucky moms with their daughters in school grounds. I liked to buy some exorbitantly expensive shoes and dresses for her and to look my daughter like princes in fairy tells like Cinderella- of course I knew she had plenty of such things in my husband’s home- I wanted to take her in city centers, city malls to give her gifts, to spend hours, nights days with her. I wanted to share her school home works, share her difficulties she faces in her learning procedures; I knew she has four private tutors her grand ma appointed for her who teaches her at home. But I also knew that these are dreams to me if I stay in ladies hostel at least and till she is adult of 18 years- I had to wait. But that wait was painful to me.

 So to be frank enough before you , was not at all very happy with so many changes happened in my life, I had to return back at guwahati for sake of my daughter, had to lodge first at ladies hostel, had to change at least two pharmaceutical house, had to remain jobless unemployed in between, had to fight in court of laws with my husband through my lawyer fixed by boss, had a rented flat of the boss to live alone with the security boy, suffered from chicken pox for three weeks and the boy had opportunity often to rape me, I became pregnant, had to lose my job again and drowned wit market debt. I had suspicion, that for all these changes there was an invisible man who played all these games behind the curtain- prabir Decca –my husband and he made my life miserable one. I had some endogenous depression because of my successive failures in every steps and neither I could be a good wife nor I could be a careful beloved mom to my daughter nor I could have a secured job in private companies

 I could not like the people (when I stayed n Kolkata from 2006-2009) also in my life. I never also took Kolkata city so serious and when I used to see them. The city is dirty, appeared to me inhabitable, uncultured, struggling, full of poor filthy people do live here and I here turned up my noses as usual. I t was as if I used to think, people of city of joy (I don’t understand how Dominick could coin the term as title of his book) was always unreal (I saw Satya-unreal) became too much selfish, seriously concentrated within themselves, not at all helpful, without any emotion & humanism and heart, mostly dishonest and corrupt, non co-operative in most steps without a bribe in cash or kinds or flesh- was not that too much? However I am talking of people of town or city and not of distant suburbs or villages. Here only things count is money. Here lies too much disparity amongst haves and have not’s. Here exist differences in wages and salary amongst people of same skills and education. Government is callous. The democracy is stabbed by a term rigging in election. You cannot cast your voting right as per your choices. The party threats common people not to go to booth for casting your voting right. Even if you go to play your voting right with all valid documents they will send you back and your vote will be put in EVM machine by the party people, even in presence of Polling officer and the polling officer never objects as he is a government servant and thus a ruler party always wins to flag the sign V for victory. I did not like the city at all. But I had now no where to go. It appeared before me I had been very slowly erased from the history bannished from the so called civilization. The civilized world, I was taught in my convent days seemed so far away that I could not ever imitate it and this world betrayed me through my married life. It did not allow me to live this planet and I had to commit the suicide.

 Back again at Ramgarh I started habit of walking briskly for at least half an hour after our dinner hours and that helped my extra calories burned out and to control my blood sugar , I tested a month back and it was near 300mg/dl. I could not manage then yet any job at kolkata city to earn my lively hood and for my old ill parents. Satya came one evening hours, having information about me from my father that I was in Kolkata and he told me that he had been transferred to another Post Graduate Medical college two years back. I had meet satya this time four years back and he appeared me much older and thinner. I enquired about his father and with my shyness about his brother “Rupak”. He told his father’s demise in 2009 and was sorry and his youngest twin brothers doing the same things, some private odd jobs and as a security guard and he told me that his proposal for his brother stands yet for me, if I divorce my husband and let my daughter to be in Guawahati in care of my in laws. I told him that this time I may seriously have a thought on this matter. But before that I require an appointment with a good salary to maintain myself, my parents and his brother’s, his parents family . He then tried for my job in a local Bengalee News paper “ Eke Din” as a staff reporter with a salary of approx 4000/= each month. That sounded so insulting to me as in the last appointment at Assam I was paid Rs 12,000/= Pm. I did not protest him nor I told a single word. He ranged over from his old cell phone he had in 2008, to a staff reporter and requested him for my urgent appointment and handed over his cell phone to me to talk with him. It was a male monotonus voice. The voice wanted some information of mine and asked my experiences in that line. I had no experiences practically as news reporter and I told the voice truth and thanked him. Satya told me that the Job is very challenging one in the changed political senario & Government in West Bengal happened in 2012 and the news paper is antiGovernment. I had no desire to work with that salary and as news staff reporter. He forced me to meet the man and I took address from him and I told satya that soon I shall communicate with the editor with my CV and in my mind I immediately rejected his offered job. I knew why for Satya offered me that job. It was for his brother “Rupak”- the future may be Nobel Prize winner as per Satya’s dream- a real hallucination with which Satya lives?- The Prize- he fights for when I fight for my daughter to be with me, a job and for my livelyhood and …. For a true love beyond physic & sex.

In night after my dinner, I started to drink wine for last 3 years and this was to avoid arguing within myself about my soul mate, about my life and re-visting my life back and my parents about my ill fate and after receiving phone calls from my daughter from Assam. Every night, after returning back Ramgarh ,she used to talk with me from a hidden place [so that her father could not suspect that she keeps contact with me] to express that how much she again miss me and her desires to live with her mom, her father, her grand ma – she loves all of them- our family. She was an innocent girl of 15 only and it was natural for her and she knew also that it was impossible at least with my in laws, unless she demises and I can take control on my husband and my own house. She often informed me her daily routines confined within the house with my alcoholic husband who becomes often totally drunk in evening and she becomes then scared of him. She informs me how my sister-in laws and his two sons talks about me in that house and behalves with her in absence of my husband. I knew that when my mother in laws will shut her eyes for ever (she is 73 by this time) my daughter in laws, her two boys, my brother in laws will try to take over all the property, the business and my husband’s bank savings and then difficult times ahead to my daughter and my alcoholic husband’s love for them was blind. So I desperately wanted custody of my daughter with me in Kolkata, though at that time I was jobless penyless . All these made me in deep depression and I started taking anti depressive drugs SSRI

Any how, I walked around my parents’ house on road, around Parks, around a large pond. I used to walk after our dinner with my parents and in the dinner table my parents used to blame me for my further pregnancy by that care taker Asamese boy and not to abort it and their facing finacial burden for myself as my father had no more income and they also depended on my income and my elder brother in laws. My daughter used to call me in night and she was sorry for her behavior and wanted that I return back to Guwahati and she missed me again badly . I used to come back home at late night. Once, on one day of those at Ramgarh nights, when every persons, every things and even my old parents seemed to have frozen in deep sleep, and when I was heading towards my parents home- I was staying here for last three months of return back at Ramgarh in 2013 march, not more than five munities walk away, but long distant from my daughter at Guwahati, Assam. The wine then already gone to my head & too I had not gone more than five or six steps, I lost my all steps & ways. There was not a single soul on the broad street of Ramgarh . Ramgarh looked before me abandoned as it always does on a cold night of winter seasons of January every years. I saw an abandoned house. I knocked on door and there were no answers from inside houses, either because as if no one lived inside those houses for long 50 years or else because the people inside houses were buried under quilets like hibernating animals, were unwilling to leave the warmth of holes. I don’t know why that pleased me some how to see city of joy looking so abandoned , like my own life and unpopulated .Soon a sweet drowsiness spreaded through my body, my womb, the new life I was creating within myself as a creator- The God. I understood that this life will be also borne alike abandoned city night and abandonded planet with life in this universe. Life is infact painfull and purposeless in this Universe- I realized.

 I silently decided to commit suicide, to leave this life. No one in the world wants me-as if I realized. No man loves/loved me. I did never get true love! No one will give me money to sustain my burdain life and my to be born child’s survival. In India, in West Bengal a human life has no value. A citizen is just a voter to the election before all parties. I did never liked people living in poverty – a begger’s life or a maid’s life or a cook’s life or as a wife of security guard. There is even no social security in India to live. For whom & with what shall I live in this world?. Life to me became purposeless. But this decision was so painfully before me. The soft drowsiness spread then through my all veins. I was feeling sleepy and in my drowsiness suddenly I saw a child standing before me – like a beggar boy as always seen in the pavement with much hunger. The child, I never saw him. In front of mine, he was so marasmic like a human skeleton- as if he was representative of a famine in India, the child grew up wearing a thithered tie & a dirty shirt, but his manner knotting that tie nothing like that our tie wearing burocreates, or technocrates, or like a doctor or an engineer or any professional mangers of pharmaceutical companies. He wanted to tell me something but I could not understand him. He slopped and tried to kiss on my cheek and hand. Suddenly[ was it a hallusination!] I saw the whole galaxy, milky ways, millions stars surrounding the boy. And the boy was in center of galaxy. I saw the light of millions of suns radiating in all directions from him. I rose up on my feet and looked around. He pointed me towards an abandoned shop house. I saw light pouring through an open door and many ghosts like people came in went out. The voice under my skull told me to follow the boy. 

I was accepted in a group of ghost souls and taken in that bright and warm little shops. Inside the room, I saw people were moving like the hopeless, down redden, low socioeconomic folks, who once probably populated Ramgarh and was evicted for high rise buildings. They were but all happy and even more amazing and they were all dead folks and souls from this city. I saw even my maternal uncle (Chotomama) who died of lung cancer four years back earlier and satya in fact helped us much in that situation. His wife and daughter left him in his old age and he became also abandoned like me and like this city. He called me to seat beside him. Tears streaming from my eyes. Some thing was happening so strange! Was it my hallucination!

There was an old man inside from whom thousands sun’s rays radiating all through and he was probably very kind to me. He asked me why I was crying! I was not of course about to say “ I am crying because of my fortune and for my daughter whom I could not have in my custody in spite of my long fight with my in laws and for a man who neither I nor he could ever felt that we are soul mate in early life and that reality I faced that day and I am to give birth of a baby, whom I did not want from my inner soul and neither I have the ability more to bring the baby up, because I am penny less & social & this governmental system in India does not support poor and have-not & more over I fell in love with a man who never understands that my soul loves him and he probably does not believe in love of a woman’s soul- a totally political zed man with scientific brain, all scientific steps in his life, a highly calculative man and though we were possibly soul mate in our earlier life- I saw him as angel of God and I am totally alone and abandoned. I can not understand for whom I shall live this life and I am deciding to commit a suicide. But at same time, I am bearing another life in my womb who is sinless, like an angel and I am in dilemma whether I shall give birth to this life in this cruel world and if I do it so how shall I nourish my baby as an abandoned? My Chotomama noded his head.

The good hearted old man smiled at me sweetly and I immediately realized that he was really a good hearted old man in my dreams and suddenly the old man stood up and surprisingly I found the old man was bi sexual( structured half man and half woman) with a peculiar faces of bird with long & strong peaks, that I never saw before. The old man has two strong wings at his back side. My body, my soul, trembled like any things and I heard a peculiar sounds of millions of thunders and lightening at a times and trillions of stars, galaxies of various shapes & sizes, planets, stones of sizes of moons or less, planetismals revolving surrounding that by sexual phenotype creature and lights of billons and billions stars radiating from that peculiar man. I could not tolerate that very brightness. I closed my eyes. I saw it for a fraction of seconds and when I opened my eyes I saw the old august man sitting with saintly expressions. I stepped forwards over the crowded souls, touched his feet- as cold it were as the deeper space time and he kissed on my hand, on my fore head and peeling of peace spread through my body, I had not felt that way for long years and immediately I understood I must talk with this old man about any thing, tell him about all my life and it is he who would bring me back my mental peace, I had always believed in deep down inside even as an atheist – The road to my God-and this old man must be angel of God- and I was lucky to meet him

 I had suffered of severe depressions, in spite of my that night hallucination or my dream and searched for that shop house, that old man for next several days every night, when my parents fell in sleep, I silently opened door of our ground floor flat, came out of my room. Sedatives, antidepresives drugs prescribed and offered by Dr. Nandi could not bring my sleep as before. I wanted to search that house, that old man in day times