The Extortion Message

Just another morning in a dreaded mid-week and weekend seems ages away. On the breakfast table, I and Mr. Husband gulping spoons of healthy aka tasteless oats and looking forward to the long say very long workday. Work blues all over the mind and the unappetizing oats added to the gloomy mood.

Beep Beep. A message popped on Mr. Husband’s phone and work blues turned into a terrified red.

“Who is it?” I asked.

“No one, No one, let’s leave, we are getting late.” Mr. Husband trying to maintain the blues.

“Whose message is it? What’s written in the text? Why do you look so tensed?” I quizzed him with the W words at the same time trying to seize his phone.

“I said it’s nothing. Let’s go” He quickly put his phone in the trouser pocket and started to leave.

“Wait!” I demanded, “I want to know right now. Are you cheating or what? Why are you hiding your phone from me?” My tone pitch accelerating; urging to shrieking.

“Gosh. You women. The only thing that you could think of is ‘Cheating’”

“Then tell me what it is?”

“Hmmm. OK. Listen. Someone has been sending me messages for last few months.”

I stared at him with curious eyes. His pause is staggering me.

“Someone is sending me messages that he will take away my money”

“Do you mean you are getting extortion messages.”

“Whatever you want to name it?”

“Oh, but that’s strange. I have heard of extortion calls but what is this new style texting for extortion. Anyway. Don’t worry, we have his number. Let’s go to the police.”

“No, we can’t because I had borrowed that money and they want it back”

“WHHHHAAATTT? When did you borrow money? From whom? Why?” my day is filled with a lot of W words by now.

“Coz I was in need at that time. So, I borrowed it.”

“Fine, but this is no way to ask for return by sending threatening texts and harassing someone. Let’s go to the police.”

“No, we can’t”

“Ok. Don’t come with me. I will call the police right now”

I fetched my phone and dialed 100, in 2 seconds the phone was answered, and I blurted ‘Sir someone is sending threatening texts to my Husband…’ before I could complete Mr. Husband snatched my phone and hung up.

“What’s wrong with you? Why did you cut the call?” Next array of W words.

“You cannot complain. You have signed on the borrowing papers too.”

About to start weeping now. “I signed. I don’t remember when? Did you deceive me into signing any papers? Why are you doing this to me?” And my tears started rolling down.

“Oh Oh Oh. No No No No. I am sorry, I am sorry. Don’t cry. Please. I was joking. stop stop” and he placed the phone in front of me. “Please read the message”

I was shaken with disbelief. The message flashed – “Monthly EMI will be debited from your account towards the Joint home loan. Please maintain account balance for ECS processing.”

It’s been 2 days and I am still having a hard time explaining the cops. Now I find ECS texts more pleasing than these explanation calls. It’s the EMI I am paying for Mr. Husband’s banter.