R.I.P English

Sanjana, Will you come?" yelled my mom who is waiting for me as we are going to shopping

"Uh Maa" I shouted back standing in front of her

"Let's go to the chopping" my maa said walking towards the door

I hit my head frustrated and said "Maa, that is not chopping that is shopping!"

"Haa, something anything same no" she rolled her eyes

"You will book some tap no? Do that fastly" she said

"Maa, where is a tap somewhere over and why do we need to book that? Is our tap repaired?"

"Hey Yuck! Something you and your brother will book in the phone and go in car no?" she asked settling her spectacles

"Oh brother! It was not tap maa! It is a cab" I yelled

"What is the use for you to talk in English? You can talk in Telugu happily no?" I asked her

"Nothing Sanju, last time when I came to your brother's school for parent-teacher meeting. All the parents are talking in Egglish-" she was about to continue but I broke her words saying

"Maa that is not Egglish! That is English" I shouted

"Ok something, let me continue. All the parents are talking in English. I was the one keeping quiet because I felt so awkboard" she said

I let out an angry sigh and said "That is not awkboard! That is awkward. Maa, I join my hands and please you please don't talk in English with me"

"Sanju, you are the one who corrects me. With whom I can salk" she said

"That is not salk, that is talk" I spoke in my own mind with frustration

Then I booked a cab and the man came and asked the OTP. I said him. To my luck my maa (mom) didn't speak her own invented English And we sat quietly.

"Hey boy keep that classic music" my maa said

I was shocked, how did she speak without any mistakes? I immediately asked her with curiosity "Maa how did you speak without mistake?"

"Sanju, for me like people only there is a cap called Gloogle or Google something" she smiled shyly

"Maa that is not a cap. That is an app. And that is not Gloogle . That is Google!" I said looked at her phone

The driver was hardly stopping his laugh but I see him giggling

Then he kept music, and my mom was enjoying that. I asked "Mom you want to win 100 rupees?"

"If I would get without any difficulty. I would surely say yes" she said

"Then play loco" I winked at her

"What? How can we play Coco on phone Sanju?"

"Maa that is Loco not Coco!" I yelled so that she could hear

"Oh really. Teach me how to play" she said peeping into my phone

The driver was again giggling and making silent sounds of laughing.

"Wait for mom" I said

"Idiot. Just because of some silly mistakes. You no need to giggle like that" I spoke to the driver indirectly keeping my phone beside my ear as if I was talking to someone by no one is on the call

I could see from the front mirror that the driver has a question mark face

To my bad luck, suddenly my phone rang and I but my tongue about my mischief. The driver looked at with an angry face and I smiled uneasily and looked at my phone who was that, it was a call from my Friend Siri. I spoke

"Say Siri. What's the matter?" I asked

"Matter is anything which occupies space and has mass" she spoke funnily but it seemed irritating for me

"What the hell? Why I get such type of people around me always" I muttered

"Come to my marriage on 5th March. If you don't attend you know what happens to you. I will kill you with phone calls!" she ended the call before I could speak anything or scold her

Suddenly a message popped in my phone and it was from Siri. I clicked on the message and it was the location, timing blah blah information about her wedding. I was bit tensed because the same day I have my mom's birthday and she will be angry thinking that my friend is more important to me than her birthday. I led out a hard sigh.

Then my mom wore her hand on me and asked: "what happened yaa?"

"Nothing mom" I said sadly

"Daughter, why so worrify? Just be happify. I am herefy. So just be -"my mom was about to say still but I again cut her WORDS shouting "Say jaldi-five also!"

The car has stopped and the driver has burst into a loud laugh

I and my mom looked at him so weirdly as I if why he has laugh for this. "Enough of laughing" I said.

"Mam, give me a hi-fi" he said giving his hand

"That's of no need" I pushed it

"Kindly go" I said joining my hands

"Mam the destination has arrived," he said looking outside

I immediately got down and so my mom did.

There was big name plate "Big Bazaar" on the shop

I gave driver the rupees and we left walking towards the entrance.

"Hachu" the woman who was standing back of me sneezed on my back

"Excuse me" I turned at her looking at her awkwardly

"Sorry aunty I have a cold" she smiled as yellow water from her nose was flowing down to her mouth

"Am I looking like an aunty to you? Yuck, clean that!" I closed my eyes

"No napkin madam. Came to buy that only"

"Call me madam. That's better. Only for that?" I asked because it is available outside also!

"No for one Roti keeper box and Oil"

"Ohh" I said turning front because I was unable to see her face

"Next" The woman of security called and I including my mom went forward and she checked my white handbag

Then we went shopping and then we took some things to purchase. In middle, my stopped near toys and I went to her and asked

"Maa why are you seeing this cycle toy"

"Nothing Sanju. Your brother likes cycle no" she said examining the cycle toy

"Maa he likes to ride a real cycle. Not a cycle toy" I caught my head

She bit her tongue and went forward

"Hey boy come here" my maa called suddenly the company helper boy

"Yes aunty," he asked me

I caught my head again." Am I looking like an aunty? I am a 20-year old having a 15-year brother. I am slim that too, why everyone are calling me aunty?" I asked him directly

"Hey boy come here " my maa called him again

"Where is clothes tension?" she asked

The helper looked at me with a question mark face. I said "Maa that is not tension. That is section!"

"Anything has the same words no Sanju"

Then we went and unfortunately without looking down I kept my leg on a banana peel. And I went skating from then shouting loudly. Far from me was a box containing pillows. I went and hit the box then bumped into the air and then the pillow

"Grrrrrr" my stomach growled in hunger

I didn't get any hurt but the pillows were so soft that I was like floating in the sky

"Sanju! Sanju! Wake up" my mom disturbed my Dreamland and I slowly got up and said "What ma?"

"All are seeing you" she whispered

I looked around and all were watching me. I got from the box and scolded the helper. Like a middle monkey, my mom came in between and asked: "Where are the canners for you?"

"Hussh. No maa. You don't learn English. I will go to brother's school"

"Then everyone will call you aunty" the helper giggled and chuckled

I caught my head in irritation and frustration.

My mother came in between and said "Frustration ha?" I nod my head

"Do venky asan" she smiled

I made a huge sigh and left muttering "Why don't I spend my whole life teaching my mom Egglish. Nope, because of her, I said wrong ha?