The Christmas Scene- Chapter 9 ( A Beginners Guidebook: Zack)

Back home at last! I am so happy to be out of that mini experience of the past. If this was what it was like in winter, then I’m glad I don’t have to go there every time I need to write a history paper (Zack’s every time excuse for a bad paper: I don’t live in the past, Mr. Huff. So don’t expect me to get it perfect.) Well, I can at least get my English assignment right and maybe even history.

The sleepover was a total blast. We re-enacted our best scenes from our trip, like when Mr. Smith came out of the granary coated in flour, or when Tamara stuffed her face with a whole block of cheese without worrying what would happen to her lipstick. #ReallyTamara? Then we watched movies, all based on that very period. We now had a new point of view to compare the event to. Our own. The real thing. I had no idea how much role we played in my least favorite event in history (Because the report is the TOUGHEST!)

After all those movies, I was so happy to sleep on a real mattress and just a wooden bed. The morning was even better. We had pancakes, sitting on a comfortable chair, in a heated kitchen. Tamara connected to the internet and got her Christmas gift. The spider picture was an edit and had been removed from Instagram, because of some policy violation. Who knows? Who cares? I’m just eating my 15th pancake.

With all this celebration, we called on another round of fortune cookies. Yes, those cursed little, weird shaped things that started this misery. But the packet only has one crazy cookie. It couldn’t hurt to eat the rest.

This time, the adults read out their fortunes first. Mr. Smith received, “You will eat this cookie.” Lame. Mrs. Smith got, “Kick back and take it easy, because you’ll hurt yourself today.” She took her fortune literally and kicked backward, then lost her balance. Yikes. Mrs. Lavigne got, “It’s a good day to charge your phone.” What does that even mean? I guess it’s an adult thing.

Rachel and Max steered clear of the cookies and Tamara was nowhere to be seen. So me, Pepper, Leo, Alexandra, and the triplets each helped ourselves. Yes, I know my grammar is off. It’s the side effects of staying in XXXX BCE. Leo crushed his cookie and then took the paper out of the cookie crumbs. “You will get a great gift if you have the patience.” He sat down and began to wait. For all I know, he’s still waiting. I guess the gift is silence.

Alexandra ate her cookie then unfolded the chit, which turned out to blank. So no fortune for Alexandra.

 The triplets ran away from the cookies. I guess they knew what caused this misery. Pepper got a silly fortune again. “Eat fast if you don’t want to burn your tongue like last time.” She shoved the cookie down. No major disaster. Just her luck.

As I was opening my cookie, Tamara came out of her room. We gave her a cookie and read her fortune. “Go buy a new curling wand to avoid more disasters.” A fortune cookie was only an excuse for Tamara to shop more. She dragged Mrs. Smith to the nearest electrical shop and bought herself the best curling wand available. Don’t expect a Christmas gift, Tamara!

I attempted to open my cookie again. Mom walked in. I wonder if the universe is telling me not to open my cookie. Mom got the fortune. “You just might hit the lottery today. Answer the first five unknown contacts that call you. For sure, you’ll have luck.”

Finally, I attempted to open my cookie but yet another disruption. The glorious Mr. Smith! He walked out of the kitchen, with one of the pancakes on his head. “I tried to make myself breakfast.” But I guess Mrs. Smith didn’t see it that way. I wonder if we should make a BCE cooking show on Mr. Smith. He’d be great.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I just opened my cookie, ate it, and read the fortune aloud. “You will be a witness to the sinking of the Titanic.” Oh no! Here we go again!

The end