Reincarnation Or Hallucinations

I saw those again today and it felt like these weren't dreams of my subconscious mind but memories that are forgotten over time. Those came alive at night as a constant reminder of my past birth life, Indeed it brought forth hurts and pain releasing deep melancholy though I couldn't weep relayed an incompleteness of my love. The same warm embrace hold me aloft in delusion, The walk to the road of Paris was bliss which conquer my mind that doubted somehow. Eyes in awe of the lively flashbacks made an entry to the world so known. Hands crossed with standing near the yawning streetlights amidst a vibrant display of blue and white sky at Pont des art bridge sinking to the busy surroundings . Boats pass away in the glitters of the sun. As I stared down the cherry blossoms bloomed at the gate of the distant Eiffel Tower some heavenly fragrance grabbed my cold soul I picked up my eyes and I felt his eminent personality and walked towards him.

So much I thought to say but instead, I smiled and said I am not worthy of you but you were an angel to me, He was shocked but I covered my face with the umbrella to hide my tears but my ears could hear the hums of his heart.

 The cool autumn breeze made me realise that the sun is setting down on the horizon we couldn't find out how much time we spend there standing like this looking away from each other, He fall to his feet and input his care in me though I broke him at once.

 His charming brown eyes glinted at me and offered me his tears in return which I never saw again until we met atthe distant shores of heaven, my ears hear him whispering my name, Jennifer dont go please please comeback My feet couldn't move too but I seemed my heart praying for these things should end silently or maybe my heart understood that the possibilities are much less end the matter smoothly. Did I ever hurt you James or just because I am dishonouring you, You are not letting me go away.

His fumbles turned to his roars he said unlike all other men I never betrayed you but why are you doing this to me jenny? 

I couldn't say anything but my undying love bites me from inside. The invisible broken pieces scattered over the bridge knows I couldn't get over him but I couldn't choose to renew because my unplanned life has planned my fate. The universe above witnessed my pains whenever I sneaked into the world of doors of past life evoking some hopelessness. Tears admired those scars of previous birth I put myself on my wish.

Sometimes I pretend to believe in reincarnations Or I felt running away from the truth that I am capable of travelling back to my previous life. Surviving through the normal days the silent darkness cajoled my pains drifting in the flashbacks. Once it's over soul is numb and the mind outplayed them again. My heart explode wiping away the moon of the present I once again saw myself 22 years back. 

The mauve curtains enhanced the beauty of my room, the big lampshade at one corner dazzled some array of imperfections bruised in constant darkness upon the room, The yellow daises on the pot petals spill the beans compressing the aches of dissonant heart replacing by tears. Serving smiles to the painful tears dropped the ashes of the letters of amour that hold his care and my love. The water drape the letters onto the core and the ink wet melded together. a testament my heart carved for the life I attire will be no more than a sombre twilight sky ascending towards darkness. The profound silence prevailing eviscerates the crumpled truth.

The secret to my heart squirms around for months, And perhaps the dead reason climbs the facade of heartbreak lost its mourn scream out, How it's fair to separate the lovers who once were blessed for lifetime trips?

Forsaken the bond of love precious life detest destroying all emotions, Dear god it's so unfair, God I've hurt again and angry too. I know you didn't want this but feeling the days of my previous birth I am afraid.

Unwanted memories stuffed my present life with too many heartbreaks And these are something that messed up my life with dark clouds. Neither wants these traumas to become my part of life. Just not to make life worse I want to retire from these unbearable reincarnations and hallucinations.