Realizations

Aruna, a teenage girl, started liking a guy in her vibrant years of adolescene. She confessed her feelings to him. They both started talking with each other and couldn't go a day without having a conversation with each other. They developed a very close bond of friendship. Aruna was enjoying each and every moment of this "teenage love", but deep inside, she had a fear that was killing her from inside. She feared, that, if she fails in her career, he will leave her and find a girl more successful than her. But, she couldn't afford to lose him as she liked him a lot. So, she started working hard to become successful. She also felt that, if she doesn't looks pretty all the time, then, he will leave her and find a girl prettier than her. So, she tried to look her best so that his attention doesn't gets diverted towards any girl, other than her. He pressurized her to talk to her all day, and ignore all her priorities. She being head over heels in love with him, talked with him as much as possible in fear that he might run to another girl, if she stops giving her attention to him. She tried hard to keep him in her life. And, in the process of juggling between her career, looks and attention towards him... she messed it up all. She failed in her career miserably, and as a result got depressed and started ignoring her health. But still, she kept on giving her undivided attention to him thinking that if she gave him her attention, that would make him stay. Slowly, he started losing his interest in her. One day, he left her for a girl, who he thought, was prettier and more successful than her. Her fear turned out to be true. 

When, she came to know, that he left her for a girl much successful and prettier than her she was depressed. She started questioning her worth, thinking she wasn't good enough. She, in her mind, constantly kept comparing herself with the girl for whom he left her. She blamed herself for the entire situation, thinking, if she had been more successful or prettier she could have made him stay. This incident hurted her so much, that, she stopped bothering about people. The only person she cared about was herself. She started working on her and started improving herself, not to impress anyone, but for herself. 

During, the journey of her self improvement, she noticed that, there were so many people who appreciated her, for who she really was. She had many talents, which got her appreciated by strangers who were way more successful than the guy she liked. These people never thought themselves to be superior....just because they got a better carreer than her. They appreciated her talents, which was never appreciated by the guy she liked, because he always felt that he was superior than her and so appreciating her would make him look inferior. Her emotional intelligence and the ability to understand people's perspective, got her a lot of appreciation from her friends. Her personality, the way she carried herself, maintained herself....was appreciated by many. She was called pretty and charming by many. She got friends who didn't judge her for her flaws or judge her for committing mistakes. She got people around her, who liked her "authentic self". She didn't feel pressurized to be someone else....to be around these people. 

One night, while thinking of her past, she started remembering how she questioned her worth and value because of one person who left her. But now, in the present, there are so many people who appreciate her for who she really is. She understood during this time, that if, someone fails to see your value, that doesn't make you less worthy....its just that you are in the wrong place where you aren't appreciated. When you are in the wrong place, no matter what you do, you will never feel seen or appreciated. With the wrong person, you will always feel a pressure to remain perfect and flawless. The wrong person will make you think that even the 'slightest of imperfection' in you makes you unlovable. Even if you have hundreds of qualities to be appreciated for, your one flaw can make you feel like 'hell' when you are in the hands of a wrong person. She realized that, all these days, she kept on blaming herself for not being someone else... but in reality she didn't needed to be someone else. She was enough as herself. She just needed to find the right place, where she was appreciated for 'being herself'.

She realized that, she herself needed to see her worth, before anyone else could. Because, once you understand your value, you wouldn't stay in a place which makes you feel unworthy. She also realized that, while improving yourself for your betterment is good and should be done, but improving yourself or trying hard to look "flawless" just to make someone stay in your life isn't worth it. Everyone has flaws and there will always be someone better, smarter, taller, more intelligent than you....but that shouldn't make you question your worth, because everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way. Everyone is different and have their own sets of strengths and weaknesses and so no one should be compared with one another. She also realized that, you shouldn't be ashamed of failing, because failing once or a few times doesn't make you a lifetime failure. Everyone have their seasons of success and seasons of hardship. If a person leaves you in your seasons of failure, that shouldn't make you feel unworthy. It only means that the person doesn't deserve to be in your life, because....everyone faces failures... and judging people based on their failures is the most ridiculous thing one can do. While chasing success is important for a better life, but shouldn't be done to make anyone stay in your life. The one, who is meant to be in your life, will remain in your life even in your seasons of failure and hardship. Their feelings won't change based on the situations in your life. It's then, she understood that, there was no point in blaming herself for him leaving her. He left her, not because she wasn't good enough, but because it's in his nature to leave someone when he finds a better replacement. And, nature of a person couldn't be changed, no matter how you try.

 

Deep in her thoughts,she realized, that the day she stopped caring about impressing people and trying to be someone else....and started doing her own work, is the day, she started attracting people, who loved herself for who she was. This, made her realize that the world is a mirror.People will treat you the way you treat yourself or the way you think you deserve to be treated. It's on you to decide how much you make yourself worth to people. Once you start treating yourself better, and start making your inner world beautiful, your outer world will change too . The day, she realized all these, is the day she felt like a bird who is now free from the cage which trapped her for years - a cage of her thoughts, a cage of her past memories, a cage of her negative self worth. She is now free to fly again and fly high enough.