Let go of the Past, Embrace The Now

''Stop dwelling in the past Maa. There is absolutely no point in digging up old wounds and aggravating the pain time and again. How long are you going to nurse these grudges against Nani? Nani is ailing and needs you. Do you realise you have become such a bitter person said Anu in a firm voice? Noyonika was taken aback by Anu's strong words, she had always found a supporter in her daughter Anu. Noyonika said' But you know how your Nani only cared about her career and her fame, she never had time for me'. I have had such a lonely and uncared for childhood but I ensured to give you stability and security. Noyonika broke into tears as she could not fathom that all her sacrifices would be met with such harsh and heart wrenching taunts from her precious daughter. She wept bitterly, her face pale, eyes swollen and almost choking while muttering. Anu realised that her mother was hurt and tried to console her. She walked up to Noyonika and held her hand to calm her down. She was apologetic as she loved her mother more than anything else and seeing her distraught made her sad.

Anu had through her growing up years been a witness to the friction between her mother and her maternal grandmother Suparna. As a child, she had often seen Noyonika blame her mother for her poor academic performance at school and also the pitfalls she had suffered owing to her unstable mental condition which led her to a mental breakdown. Suparna was a successful and illustrious Bharatnatyam dancer who was conferred many awards for her art. She was the leader of a reputed dance troupe 'Nrityagyan' and had to travel across the globe to perform. She was clear that giving birth to Noyonika could not be the end of her prolific career. Noyonika's father Siddhant agreed to take up her responsibility while she was travelling for her performances. Siddhant was a freelance journalist and tried his best to make up for Suparna's absence during all the milestones of her life. Noyonika craved her mother's time and attention which she tried to her level best to provide during her little time at home. She brought books, toys, clothes and other goodies for Noyonika from all her travels. Suparna planned many surprises but it failed to light up Noyonika's eyes, as she wanted her mother's warm hugs when she came home from school, she wanted her mother's claps when she performed in the school play and she wanted her mother's advice when she had her first crush. Noyonika missed her mother so much that it became a sore and with every passing day, week, month and year it got deeper. Noyonika went into a shell and her grades began to plummet just like her mental health. Suparna made every effort to build a bond of love and trust with her daughter, but it just widened the distance. She wanted Noyonika to understand her dreams and support her, as she had worked very hard to gain acclaim as a Bharatnatyam dancer. Noyoniika could not take cognizance of her mother's hard work and would be infuriated each time her friends or teachers praised Suparna for her art. Suparna's success was eclipsed by the bitterness she received from her daughter. She smiled for the cameras, but that could not camouflage the deep sorrow in her eyes.

Siddhant's sudden death owing to a cardiac arrest was the final blow that broke Noyonika and she began to detest her mother and blamed her for wronging them. She detached from the world and hardly attended college. Suparna cut down on her work assignments to be around for Noyonika and also provided the best for her. Suparna could not see her daughter sinking and sought help from the best psychiatrist to help Noyonika. Every session with the psychiatrist she would spit venom about her mother, but Suparna only cared for her to heal and return to normalcy. The venting out was therapeutic for Noyonika and she finally saw light at the end of the tunnel when she met Hari, her college senior. That was the best phase of her life, she felt loved and valued. Suparna liked Hari and requested him to marry her daughter.

Anu's birth made Noyonika ecstatic and she pledged to be a mother who would always be there for her daughter. She wanted Anu to have the best childhood, but what she didn't realise is that the bitterness she carried in her heart for her own mother had kept Anu away from her Nani's affection. Noyonika was overly protective of Anu and her overbearing nature had not allowed Anu the freedom and autonomy to make decisions and be independent. She constantly taunted Suparna about being a negligent mother, but never realised that she was also not allowing Anu to blossom. Anu on many occasions tried to mediate and make peace but Noyonika was in no mood to relent. She was clinging to the past pain and allowing it to engulf her present happiness..

When Anu received a call from the hospital that Suparna had suffered a heart attack, she wanted Noyonika to be by her mother's side. But ego got the better of Noyonika and she began to rant about all the wrong that her mother had done to her. Anu was aghast at this behaviour and had shown her mother the mirror. Anu held her mother's hand and in a pacifying tone said' Nani needs you, she loves you as much as you love me. Stop brooding over the past, Embrace the Now'.

Tears rolled down Noyonika's cheeks and Anu wiped them with her tender hands. She hugged her mother and said 'We all have our shortcomings, but when we love someone we have to accept them with their imperfections.' Maa, be that daughter to Nani and you want me to be to you. Noyonika looked lovingly at Anu and said ' Anu, you make me so proud with your wisdom at such a young age, I promise to let go of the past and Embrace the Now'.