Bonds Forever - Sunshine In The Storm

Priya felt the darkness and pain engulf her, she could not decipher if it was due to the still raw stitches from her emergency surgery or just the void of losing her firstborn. Priya felt alone in a room filled with her immediate family, who rallied around her for support. Her large brown sparkling eyes looked dull and lifeless like someone had snatched away the most cherished dream. She just wanted to shut herself from the world around her, as no words of consolation could heal the soreness of the wound in the heart. She had spent seven months weaving a beautiful dream of cradling a little pink bundle in her arms and that was shattered owing to pre-term delivery.

Priya was known for her cheerful, optimistic disposition and the one ready to take the bull by the horn, but this bolt from the blue had transformed her into a pessimist. She blamed destiny for playing a bad joke on her, one that she could not even laugh at. Tears ran down her pale cheeks for days in the end and finally dried up. Her husband Rajat tried his best to hide his pain and comfort her but they were both sinking in the void. Priya’s mother, Sunita was worried sick looking at her daughter suffering silently. Priya tried to feign normalcy but her bare eyes and muffled voice gave away the hollow she felt in her soul. As a mother Sunita knew Priya needed some sunshine to pull her out of these shadows and find new light. 

All the relatives who dropped in to console and comfort her insisted she forget the past and move on, they emphasized that there was no need to grieve and that she would soon conceive again. Priya tried hard to fake a smile but was hopelessly unsuccessful. She wanted to scream and ask them why she was not allowed to grieve or mourn the loss that was part of her being. She never could fathom the ways of the world and this urgency to quickly bury the sorrow and move on made it really difficult for Priya. It appeared that Priya was in the darkest phase of her life, as she did not have the zeal to even return to her work which she was so passionate about. Each time she compressed the breast milk to drain it down the sink, she relived the trauma and felt a tearing pain, a constant reminder of her loss.

Amidst all the inner pandemonium and outer stillness, Rajat had resumed work hoping it would help him heal, while Priya nursed her aggrieved soul by resorting to seclusion. Mansiha’s arrival was like a whiff of fresh air for Priya, as they had been best friends for over 12 years since college days. Priya hugged Manisha and wept to her heart’s content and not once did Manisha ask her to wipe off her tears and fake a smile. The silence that followed was not uncomfortable or gravely but peaceful and serene. That’s the magic of old friends, they mature like fine wine and always add flavor to life. Manisha asked Priya to not hold back and vent out her angst, frustration, and disappointment, as it had to find a way out of her system. She held Priya's hand and sat for hours sometimes in complete silence, sometimes listening to her, grieving with her, and calming her nerves. They went down memory lane and came back feeling nostalgic and moist-eyed. Manisha also advised her that while she is compressing and draining down the milk, she could donate it to a nursing home where there were many newborns who needed it. Priya saw some light at the end of the tunnel and agreed to be the nursing mother to the newborns. She found purpose in her pain and this gave her back some confidence. Manisha’s presence anchored her, as she never needed to pretend or hold back her emotions. She felt free from the expected societal norms and this began to heal her. With a true friend there is never a need to put up an act and this gave Priya a sense of freedom.

Manisha was her silent strength and reminded Priya that she was way stronger than one adversity. She reassured Priya that she would be the best mother in the world when the time was right. Priya’s smile gradually found its way back to her face and this gave solace to Rajat and her mother Sunita.

Losing a child is by far the toughest loss and the unkindest cut for a parent, especially a mother who nurtures with her blood, and not allowing her to grieve is unfair. Grieving and venting out the pain through tears is therapeutic. The time they say is the best healer, but a true friend is a catalyst that can hasten the healing.

Friendship is a bond forever, a precious gift that we forge by choice. Like Manisha, a true friend is an anchor in the raging storms of life and sunshine to light up your dark days. A true friend can see the pain in your eyes while everyone believes the smile on your face. Be the sunshine for a friend!